Colored Ink
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miss something? check the archives about me name: n/aaliases: kit, kits, kit kat, the smart girl, foxay, an chin age: 18 location: oakland, ca hobbies: anime, manga, reading, writing, doodling, video games, french horn likes: all of the above, being lazy, mushrooms, cheese, animals, laughing loudly in public dislikes: nuts, stinging/biting insects, religious fanatics, violence, olives contact: coloredink@mailcity add .com wishlist playstation 2car a good night's sleep money stress-free life trigun long colt keychain cowboy bebop dvd box set realistic wishlist dayworld by philip josé farmerkabuki by david mack long-term obsessions anime/mangayaoi/shounenai writing music animals life and living current obsession(s) triguncurrently reading the gunslinger by stephen kingthe last unicorn by peter beagle currently watching hana yori dango (20)utena (23) gto tv (39) witch hunter robin (18) naruto (45) get backers (27) rose of versailles (19) matantei loki ragnarok (15) scrapped princess (11) peacemaker kurogane (3) shingetsutan tsukihime (3) fullmetal alchemist (4) |
Monday, November 17, 2003 [link] 06:39 p.m. listening to: Cry Cry Cry I find that the shower has become a place in which I can be introspective. I spend a lot of time rushing here and there or studying or meeting people, and as a result I have little time to myself. But in the shower, I can let my mind wander. The more I think about it, the more I don't really agree with the phrase "love the sinner, hate the sin." Mind you, I don't think this is a bad phrase. It's a hundred thousand times better than, say, "hate the sin, beat the sinner to death." I just don't agree with it. How can you really love the sinner and hate the sin? I mean, if I look at it from a certain perspective, I can see how you can love, say, Martha the lesbian and hate the fact that she's a lesbian. I can see that. But, I mean, Martha's lesbianism is a part of her. It's like, say, how I hate cooked carrots. Or how I love chocolate. Hating her lesbianism means hating part of Martha, too. I supposed it makes much more sense if you believe that something like homosexuality is a choice. It's easy to "love the sinner, hate the sin" when the sin is something like, say, stealing. You can always stop stealing. Unless you're a kleptomaniac. That's different. And ironically enough, Winamp just pulled "Lord, I Have Made You a Place In My Heart." Which is a very, very long song title. I don't want to have to type that out again. Monday, November 17, 2003 [link] 03:41 p.m. listening to: "Tea House Moon" - Enya I cannot describe to others how I love and hate my city, (and it is my city, for all that I'm six hundred miles away). I continue to say our busses and our schools to my friends back home. I am not yet adjusted to the idea of being an Oakland resident. The college is my home right now, my room is my home, but not this city. This is not my city. I am not homesick. I don't miss home, precisely, but the idea of home. I miss my steel-and-concrete jungle. I miss the LA Times building, the modern art sculptures, and the stars that are not above but below. I miss turning corners and finding museums. I miss living in a city of 14 million people, all squeezed together and finding new ways to live. It's a breathtaking city, it's a hateful city, it's a city of apathy and bad air and high cost of living. I hate it. That's why I moved away. But now that I'm here, I look back on it with a critical eye, and I miss it. I don't know that I'd want to spend the rest of my life there, with the postage-stamp yards and the shitty public transit and rush hour that lasts from nine in the morning to ten o' clock at night. But I miss it anyway. I miss the idea of having somewhere to return to, for all the days of my life. I feel so rootless, such a drifter compared to my peers, who talk about "going home" and are often gone for weekends. All my belongings must be able to fit in the trunk and backseat of a car. When the dorms close for the summer, where do I have to call home? I have an entire city. Sunday, November 16, 2003 [link] 03:14 p.m. listening to: Cry Cry Cry Still alive, though a great deal poorer. I now possess a Cry Cry Cry CD and a Libera CD. Very happy. I need to stop dicking around online and actually do something productive. Friday, November 14, 2003 [link] 01:10 p.m. listening to: nothing I'm alive. Just so you know. **yawn** Thursday, November 13, 2003 [link] 12:00 a.m. listening to: "Blaze of Glory" - Jon Bon Jovi I cannot sleep, and so therefore I am conducting a series of tests to see what's wrong with my sound. You see, a few days ago, I began experiencing ear-piercing crackles and pops in my music. Then I discovered that it wasn't the music, it was the sound itself; even when I was playing no music, my headphones would sporadically make that popping noise, loud enough that I could hear it when the headphones were on the desk and not on my head. I worried as to whether it was the headphones or the sound card, and hoped that it was the headphones, as they're easier to replace. Even if they are relatively new. So I unplugged the headphones from the speakers and listened to music on the speakers for a while. And the speakers popped. Uh oh. Now I have the headphones plugged directly into the computer--like I did when I first got here and accidentally dropped my old speakers, stupid me. If I hear pops, then I know it's probably the sound card. If I don't, then my old prediction was right; these ten dollar speakers really weren't long for this world. [Edit: Okay, the speakers pop even when they're not plugged into the computer. This pisses me off. Now I need new speakers.] Wednesday, November 12, 2003 [link] 06:53 p.m. listening to: nothing I am allergic to nuts. I pretty much try my best to avoid things that look like they might contain nuts. BEEF STEW ORDINARILY DOES NOT CONTAIN NUTS. Today, I barfed in the parking lot of Walgreens. Now, I'm going to go to the bathroom and continue being sick. Tomorrow, I am going to tell Founders that I am allergic to nuts and will they please inform me somehow when they're serving something that's come into contact with nuts. That is all. Wednesday, November 12, 2003 [link] 01:39 p.m. listening to: "Wild Horses" - Off the Beat So sleepy. But must go to class. You know, I miss Glass Eye Comics updates. Tuesday, November 11, 2003 [link] 06:16 p.m. listening to: "True Light" (acoustic) - Irino Miyu So today in Bible as Literature (yeah, I'm sure you're sick of my talking about this class--all two of you who read this, that is), we finished talking about the Book of Job. It took a really long time to get through what's a comparatively short chapter, but, well, there's a lot to discuss in Job. The funny thing is, when I heard about the Book of Job, it was the bit that talks about "the patience of Job." God says to the satan (who is actually part of God's heavenly court, but that's far too much to discuss inside parentheses), hey, that Job guy's pretty cool. He really likes me, huh? And the satan says, "Yeah, well, that's just because you gave him a bunch of cool shit." So God lets the satan take away all of Job's material possessions. Job's still really cool about it, though, and the satan says, well, let's see how great he is when you take away his health, too. So God allows the satan to strike Job with boils and crap. And still, Job is pretty cool about it. That's in the first two chapters. Out of, what, forty-something? Job actually spends some time lamenting his bad fortune and goes so far as to wish he'd never been born. Then his so-called "comforters" come along and say pretty much what amounts to: hey man, that really sucks, but you must have deserved it. Job refuses to own up, though, seeing as how he didn't really do anything wrong; he's actually a very pious man. So Job and the "false comforters" argue back and forth for a while, with a strange little interruption from someone called Elihu, who was obviously added by another author who was probably appalled by the contents of the book. The majority of the book is basically devoted to answering the question: why do bad things happen to good people? Why do sinners prosper? God eventually speaks out of a whirlwind, and His answer is: that's not man's place to understand. The world is far more complex than you could ever begin to understand. The God that created the lamb created the tyger, too. Of course, that really doesn't answer Job's question. It rather neatly evades it, actually. It's like telling a little kid, "You can't understand yet," or "When you're older." But that's the only answer we really have right now, and it's that there's a Bigger Picture out there somewhere, and we don't know where our suffering fits in. Cold comfort, when your land and children are gone and you're sitting miserable in the muck covered with boils, but something is better than nothing. The other question our professor asked was: why did the Book of Job make it into the Bible? We have records of the rabbis arguing over some of the books that eventually made it in, such as the Song of Solomon and the Book of Esther. There was no argument over the Book of Job, though, despite the fact that it contradicts a lot of other things in the Bible. Genesis and some parts of the Psalms say that we're the pinnacle of God's creation, and that everything else was made for us. Job contradicts that and says that we're only a small part of the whole; after all, can we tame Leviathan? Deuteronomy (? was it Deuteronomy?) and Judges and many other books tell us that bad behavior is punished and good behavior is rewarded. Job contradicts that and says that sometimes bad things happen to good people, and we can't explain why. After discussing it for some time, we arrived at the conclusion that maybe the book made it into the Bible because of Job's relationship with God. Job was not afraid to question, unlike his so-called "friends," who basically followed blind rhetoric they'd been taught all their lives and would rather twist the situation to fit their preconceptions rather than believe otherwise. Job sought answers and God provided them, although His answer wasn't the one that Job might have preferred. God even rebukes Job's friends for not speaking correctly, as Job did. Job had this very intimate relationship with God, and wasn't just going through the motions. The conclusion? Challenge God. He likes that sort of thing. As W2 once said, a religion that answers all your questions isn't doing you a damn bit of good. Tuesday, November 11, 2003 [link] 11:33 a.m. listening to: nothing Yesterday and today are prospective days, so prospectives are wandering around our school, and last night I had one sleeping on my floor. They're all very nice, and I hope lots of them make the decision to come to our school next year. I hope I was a good hostess. I was afraid I was boring, because I don't really do much except sleep, study, and hang out with friends. >_< But I introduced my prospective, Jane, to a fairly wide circle of people, and I hope she had a good time. I'm tired. I skipped class this morning. I'm going to take a nap now. Saturday, November 8, 2003 [link] 01:35 p.m. listening to: big honkin' playlist Attended Theatre Rice last night with Lynne and Kitty. It kicked amazing ass. There was dramatic stuff about war (past and present) and the effects thereof, and the crazy shit that goes on in people's heads. There was hip hop/rap from Magnetic North, who are a very awesome amateur duo that you should support. And then last, but certainly not least, there was their Comedy Troupe. Their first act attempted to "present, in sixty seconds or less, all Asian-American issues. . . ever." It was hysterical. So many stereotypes. "Grandson, come out and show your relatives what you can do!" "Okay, okay! I can play the piano, and the cello, and the violin, and the flute. . . and I'm only five!" "Here's the Thanksgiving dog! Because you know Asians don't eat turkey, we eat dog!" "I am a pale white man, and I'm here to take all your women!" I thought I was going to die. It was great. I'm definitely going back next year. I'd join, if I actually lived in Berkeley. Thursday, November 6, 2003 [link] 10:08 p.m. listening to: "For the Sake of the Song" - Azure Ray Things that annoy me/piss me off: - People whose parents pay their credit card bills. I resent them. - Parents who pay their children's credit card bills. ENABLE YOUR CHILD. FORCE HIM/HER TO BE INDEPENDENT. [Edit: For the record, my father technically pays my credit card bills. Well, sorta. At the beginning of the year, half the money in my bank account was mine (money I'd saved over the years), and half of it was his (money he gave me because he loves me OH GOD THE GUILT). It just feels like I pay all my own bills because I write the check and I mail it out and I worry about it getting lost because USPS is incompetent. Moving on now. I'm also well aware that just because a parent pays his/her child's credit card bill does not necessarily mean that s/he's not enabling the child. But I'm petty and resentful about a lot of things.] - Doing laundry in the laundry room. I'm running out of quarters. - People who leave their clothes in the dryer for half an hour and then bitch when someone takes it out. - People who leave their clothes in the washer for half an hour and then bitch when someone takes it out. - People who don't keep up with current events because it supposedly doesn't pertain to them. - People who don't keep up with current events and then complain when they don't know what's going on. - People who have no idea what's going on in the world and expect others to tell them. - Eligible voters who don't vote and then complain about the current leadership. - Willfully ignorant people. - People who bitch about things they clearly know nothing about. - People who don't clean up after themselves. - People who go on and on about their (in)signficant other/date/prospective partner. I'm glad you're happy, but honestly, I can only take so much, and after a certain point, I DON'T CARE. - The price of public transit. - People who do nothing but goof off during the week, and then bitch about how much homework they have. - Tiny shower stalls. I think I'm done for the moment. I suppose at some point I'll have to rant about abortion, but I'm just not up to it right now. Besides which, I need to do some more research about ways in which you can protest the recent legislation. Someone gave me a nifty URL, but I've completely forgotten what it was. ^^;; I want to try and get my campus involved. I mean, come on; this is a women's college. We are an untapped source of righteous anger. [Edit: I forgot to mention that some judges have already blocked the legislation, and there will probably be a few more. This gives me hope.] |
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