Colored Ink
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about me name: n/aaliases: kit, kits, kit kat, the smart girl, foxay, an chin age: 17 location: socal, usa hobbies: anime, manga, reading, writing, doodling, video games, french horn likes: all of the above, being lazy, mushrooms, cheese, animals, laughing loudly in public dislikes: nuts, stinging/biting insects, religious fanatics, violence, olives contact: coloredink@mailcity add .com wishlist playstation 2car summer job a good night's sleep money stress-free life trigun dvd box set realistic wishlist dayworld by philip josé farmerkabuki by david mack moxy fruvous live noise hellsing dvd box set long-term obsessions anime/mangayaoi/shounenai clamp music animals life and living video games current obsession(s) schoolcollege currently reading nothing newcurrently playing ffxkingdom hearts currently watching hana yori dango (20)gravitation oav (1) ayashi no ceres (11) utena (16) rayearth (8) gto tv (15) ccs tv (19?) mirage of blaze (6) star ocean ex (22) .hack//sign (7) witch hunter robin (2) kogepan (9) weiß kreuz gluhen (2) |
Monday, November 18, 2002 [link] 09:24 p.m. listening to: "Happier" - Guster Focussing a little better now. Still distraught. Feeling immense guilt for not paying more attention to my father earlier. Am vowing to spend more time with him from now on. Trying not to worry. But what if I'm not home and he has another, more serious stroke? What if I am home and he has another, more serious stroke? I'm fairly sure he's not the kind of guy who likes hospital stays; he doesn't even like to see the doctor, for Chrissake, he's not going to submit to staying in a hospital. He hates being dependent on anybody. I think he subscribes to the philosophy of living fast and dying young, don't worry, you'll come back for another round after you die. Argh. Argh argh argh. Why does this have to be dumped on me now? I have an interview scheduled with the mayor on Thursday afternoon, I have a test on Wednesday, I still have more than ten pages to read on population ecology, Pitzer application is due December 1, and my concentration is shot to hell. I would really like to go into my counselor's office tomorrow and just cry for a bit, but I'd feel bad because she's so busy and she's going on vacation in two days. And the copy machine is broken, but that's okay because I'll just photocopy my stuff tomorrow at school. I'm really, really not liking this. Monday, November 18, 2002 [link] 08:14 p.m. listening to: nothing I will now tell a short, strange little story until I can focus enough to read about population ecology. I went to the aquarium with some of my cousins last Saturday, as you may know. We stopped for lunch on the way back, and there I let my cousins know that I went to Seattle recently. After the usual question-and-answer round of where did I go, what did I do, is George's house really that big? they asked me if I liked it better in LA or in Seattle. I responded that I didn't really like either places because I couldn't see the stars. They seemed a little puzzled by this answer, but one of my cousins said, "I know where you like it best of all." And I was puzzled, because, I mean, how should he know? But he said, "Somewhere there's a creek. And banana trees all around. And fresh durian. And roti canai." I almost started crying at the table, because how would he know where I've been longing and yearning to be all these days and weeks and months? Malaysia has become some sort of ideal escape for me, where nothing ever changes and life is so simple. That's what I desperately want right now, when everything is changing too fast and life has become so complicated. Monday, November 18, 2002 [link] 08:05 p.m. listening to: nothing A few weeks ago, I came home from rehearsal and my dad said he thought he'd had a minor heart attack. I freaked out, of course, but as it seemed that my dad was fine, I didn't worry too much about it. Lately, he hasn't been feeling well. I attributed it to flu or cold, since all he complained of to me was a high fever. Apparently it's been more than that, because he consulted my aunt, who's a nurse, and she said that it sounded like symptoms of a mild stroke. So he tells me about this today, over dinner. And then he asks me, "Would you be able to take care of yourself if I died of a stroke?" And I said of course I would (my dad's big being independent), and added dryly that it's so wonderful to hear about these things during dinner. My father, being of equally dry wit, asked if I'd have preferred to hear about it just before bed or first thing in the morning. I'm not liking this at all. Monday, November 18, 2002 [link] 04:22 p.m. listening to: same as before Yes, I am totally addicted to how these two songs line up. They're both beautifully creepy, and it's hard to tell where one song segues into the other. So. Um. Yes. And now, in the spirit of Mooncalf, AIIIIEEEEEE my freshmen found my blog AAAIIIIEEEE! Uh. Hi kids! Well, actually, Darcie is the only one who's read it all. Meiya, for some reason, can't locate the archives. o_O I don't know if Kristine's aware that the blog exists. Now, please allow me an Eggie moment. FAAAAWWWWWWK. FAWK FAWK FAWK FAWK FAWK. FAAAAAAAWWWK. Sunday, November 17, 2002 [link] 09:13 p.m. listening to: "Down From Above" - Moxy Fruvous / "Pray Your Gods" - Toad the Wet Sprocket I miss Jasmine so very much. Another combined rehearsal with PYMO today. The concert's next Sunday and I still don't have my clothes. >_< I need to do some shopping right quick. We got to hear PYMO's music today; well, not Beethoven's 2nd, but we did get to hear "The Steppes of Central Asia," which is a very pretty song. It didn't sound Chinese-y at all, which I approve of, because I firmly believe that Chinese music should not be played on Western instruments. It just doesn't sound good. The horn soloist has a beautiful sound, all liquid and mellow and golden. **melts** I am so inferior. Meh. Not much else. I must read about ecology now. Sunday, November 17, 2002 [link] 12:20 p.m. listening to: "Down From Above" - Moxy Fruvous / "Pray Your Gods" - Toad the Wet Sprocket Arcana is going to kill me. I weep now. LIKE A LEETLE GIRL. Your Wings Are Mine is also going to kill me. Angst. . . drowning. . . I'll just be over here gnawing my leg off. Saturday, November 16, 2002 [link] 10:05 p.m. listening to: "Down From Above" - Moxy Fruvous If you don't know already, Myplay is closing its doors. If you have a locker, better clear it out before you lose everything. Saturday, November 16, 2002 [link] 06:08 p.m. listening to: "The Bonny Swans" - Loreena McKennitt Life has been good. Left rehearsal yesterday to watch the premiere of the second Harry Potter movie with Rachel's family. I will now proceed to blab about my opinion of the movie without giving anything away. The movie was, overall, pretty good. It wasn't a bad movie by any means, but it wasn't stunning, either. There were good points and bad points. A lot of heavy editing, but that's a matter of course. They took out all the foreshadowing that ended with Hermione Petrified in the hospital wing, which I didn't like. There was some unnecessary drama that I really can't quite explain; you have to see it for yourself. ^^;; There were, however, some excellent lines, and a lot of good action. The fight with the basilisk was not quite as I had imagined it, but it was great. The basilisk was very well-animated. Dobby was great, too, and so was the entire scene with the spiders. Wonderfully creepy! There's just one specific scene that I'm going to talk about here, and that's the end, when Harry is talking to Ginny. In the book, Harry was healed by Fawkes before Ginny ever showed up and before the book--and Tom Riddle--is destroyed. In the movie they left this until after Tom Riddle was destroyed and Ginny woke up, I guess to let Harry's Noble Spirit shine through. It worked. The audience knows that Harry is dying, and yet he's talking calmly to a crying Ginny and telling her to get out, get out, oh don't mind this wound it's only a scratch. I really liked that. I don't want to say much about the acting because a) Richard Harris is dead, which is depressing, and b) the primary cast consists of little kids, who can't always be expected to act at the same caliber as adults. I think Daniel Radcliffe was better than he was in the first movie. Rupert Grint was also better than he was in the first movie and makes fantastic faces, although I think he was overdoing it at some points. Emma Watson is still a little stiff in places, but improving. The adult actors are, of course, fantastic. Alan Rickman is superb, Kenneth Branagh is hilarious, and we're all sorry to have lost Richard Harris. Jason Isaacs has the Sexy British Man With Long Hair thing going. Puuuurrr. And today, I went to the aquarium with some of my cousins. I've never actually been to an aquarium before, so it was fun and fascinating and new seeing all the jellyfish and the fishyfish. We got to pet sharks (little, harmless sharks) and rays. The sharks have very rough skin, especially if you pet them the wrong way. The rays, however, are very soft and smooth. I left the aquarium with the distinct feeling that I want to cuddle a shark someday. And they had sea otters! Dinner now. Then, maybe, some Biology. We'll see. Thursday, November 14, 2002 [link] 02:38 p.m. listening to: "Break" - Brendan O'Donnell I don't know how you people with, like, six-hour play rehearsals every other day and three-hour band rehearsals every day handle it, because I can't even handle one football game and one rehearsal a week without spazzing out all over the place. Argh. Stress ahoy! I have to read twenty-five pages on Ecology by God knows when because Dr. Jang never tells us when the tests are, I need to fix my Mr Smith Goes to Washington essay right quick because it contains, uh, exactly zero citations so far, and I have yet to finish my college applications. **sob** I WANT MY LIFE BACK. Oh, wait, I never had a life. HAH! **more sobbing** I don't want to go to the football game today, Mommy. I'll have fun, I know, and I'll get to play Taco Mambo, which is the most addictive song on the face of the earth, but I have too much to do. I have to figure out where the hell we're going to come up with the money to send my SAT scores to all the colleges I'm applying to. I have to figure out what the hell Pitzer means by "supplemental essay." I need to send in my UC application. . . . I need to stop freaking out. The good news is, "Hotel California" came on the radio just as I got into the car. Little things like that make life seem so much brighter. Tuesday, November 12, 2002 [link] 09:50 p.m. listening to: "Papercut" - Linkin Park Rebecca, Jean, and I had a good, long AP Bio study session today. Numbers of three or more seem to work better for study sessions; if it's just the two of us, we get nothing done. When it was just Rebecca and I, we were easily distracted and basically did nothing but talk and watch Kogepan. When Jean came over, we were very productive. Actually managed to cover four chapters. When it's just Jean and I, we get nothing done, either. ^^;; Hopefully we'll try to get three of us together from now on; apparently, Becca's group never meets. There may yet be hope for the AP Club. We'll see. I don't want to mount a revolution and bring the system down, but I consulted with one of the student "favorites" of the system and he gave me a few pointers. I'm not going to say anything here, but keep an eye out and ask me for details. I need all the help and support I can get. Monday, November 11, 2002 [link] 09:19 p.m. listening to: "Wish (Komm Zu Mir)" - Lola Rennt soundtrack I really, really want to see Lola Rennt. It's supposed to be, like, all surreal and stuff. Went to the La Brea Tar Pits with Dr. Jang and some of the other AP Bio kids today. It was fun; Dr. Jang knows a lot of the inside stuff about the museum and the tar pits. He knows more than the tour guides do. So we got to learn about how all the sabertooth cat models in the museum are anatomically incorrect, how La Brea woman was probably not murdered (they just say that to make it sound exciting), how there's an entire warehouse full of wood pulled from the tar pits that nobody's ever looked at, and all sorts of neat stuff like that. The biggest thing was probably the debunking of the entrapment theory, which is the hypothesis that has always been taught. One animal gets stuck, a predator leaps in after it, more predators leap in after that, then the carrion eaters move in and they all get stuck and go down together. This idea has always seemed a little ridiculous and unrealistic to me, but Dr. Jang gave us some more information, such as how none of the wood in the tar pits have bark, branches, or twigs, similar to wood that gets carried downstream due to a violent flood. All the wood that's been found have been so saturated with water that some of them took twelve men with a pulley to haul it out. Broken bones found in the tar pits don't look like they were broken due to biting; they look like they were sheared off due to a violent impact (I saw these bones, and yawp, that's what they look like). Things like that. He told us that the entrapment theory is already out of favor with many researchers and scientists; the flood theory is fairly new. Going on museum trips with Dr. Jang is fun. He tells you all the things the museums don't want you to know. Sunday, November 10, 2002 [link] 11:40 p.m. listening to: "Happier" - Guster Feel like crying. Why are all my friends going through hell? Sunday, November 10, 2002 [link] 11:13 p.m. listening to: "Happier" - Guster So, I was thinking about that bout of depression I had last week and how I was unable to write during that time, which made me more depressed. I don't know why I was thinking about it, I just was, and it brought to light what I realized was a major fear of mine. I say it's major not because it's all-encompassing or because I spend the better part of my life dodging it (like, say, heights or stinging things such as bees/wasps/hornets), but because it's something that I can't even contemplate. I can't imagine it happening, and that's what scares me. I'm afraid that the words won't come anymore. What if, one day, I wake up and they're all gone? And what if they don't come back the day after that, or the day after that, or forever and ever for the rest of my life? Or, even worse, will it be a slow death, characters and stories and plots draining slowly out of my head to disappear into the aether? I think that would be worse, to feel them slipping away from me. I think I would die. Sunday, November 10, 2002 [link] 10:54 p.m. listening to: "Happier" - Guster If there is any song as addictive as "Hotel California," it is this one. In a completely different way, of course. Curse you, Eggie, for introducing this song to me. Now it's sucking out my braaaiiinn. Rachel came to PYMA rehearsal with me today. She hadn't oiled her horn for like, an entire month and hadn't touched it, so of course all the keys were stuck and we spent the first fifteen minutes of rehearsal getting them unstuck. Now the horn's usable, but it's still mighty stiff, so I loaned her my rotary oil and told her to oil it every day until the next rehearsal. That should help. She had fun. PYMA rehearsals are fun, even though I go home afterwards with a massive inferiority complex. Today, however, was just not a good rehearsal. Nobody was awake or everyone left their brains at home or something, and it sucked. Bad rehearsals happen every so often, but they shouldn't happen when we have a concert in two weeks. >_< Sunday, November 10, 2002 [link] 01:09 p.m. listening to: "Freshmen" - Verve Pipes If anyone reading this has a copy of the program from the Capistrano Valley field show competition, please let me know. I'm starting to get really desperate to know what the hell Esperanza High School's show was, and their website doesn't tell me a bloody thing. >_< Edit: Boy Meets Boy is taunting me. Taunting me, I tell you. |
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