Colored Ink
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about me name: n/aaliases: kit, kits, kit kat, the smart girl, foxay, an chin age: 18 location: socal, usa hobbies: anime, manga, reading, writing, doodling, video games, french horn likes: all of the above, being lazy, mushrooms, cheese, animals, laughing loudly in public dislikes: nuts, stinging/biting insects, religious fanatics, violence, olives contact: coloredink@mailcity add .com wishlist playstation 2car summer job a good night's sleep money stress-free life trigun dvd box set realistic wishlist dayworld by philip josEfarmerkabuki by david mack long-term obsessions anime/mangayaoi/shounenai clamp music animals life and living video games current obsession(s) schoolap tests currently reading nothing newcurrently playing dark cloud 2ffx currently watching hana yori dango (20)utena (23) gto tv (27) mirage of blaze (6) witch hunter robin (18) weiß kreuz gluhen (9) naruto (35) wolf's rain (17) get backers (27) rose of versailles (16) matantei loki ragnarok (5) scrapped princess (7) |
Sunday, June 8, 2003 [link] 11:08 a.m. listening to: nothing **swears loudly** (Maybe I take these things too seriously. Maybe I take them too personally. Why should I grieve for people I never knew? But the thing is, that could have been someone I knew. That could have been me. Or you.) Sunday, June 8, 2003 [link] 03:13 a.m. listening to: big honkin' playlist Long, but fun day today. Small gatherings of friends at my house are nice. I like small gatherings. I don't feel as alone. I'm told I give good backrubs. I don't know if this is on good authority or not. I mean, I'm sure if you went to a professional masseuse and then you went to me, there'd be a distinct difference in the professional's favor. ^^;; But I guess I give decent backrubs for a complete amateur. The problem is getting people to take off their shirts. I mean, yeah, I can give you a massage through your clothes, but it's not going to be as effective, and I can't use oil. Oh well. Not my loss. Friday, June 6, 2003 [link] 02:55 p.m. listening to: absolutely nothing Today is one of those "I hate myself" days. I think it's the lack of sleep. I had a bad night last night, and that always leads to my being miserable and cranky the next day. So I'm going to go take a nap now, and then everything will be better. Gen, I'll be on to chat late tonight. I'd love to meet this weekend, but there's a little sumpin'-sumpin' that may, er, negate or affect these plans. Everyone congratulate Jess. She's our class valedictorian. Go her! The magnolia blooms are wilting. I saw them today as I was walking home, curled-up and brown on the sidewalk. I'm going to bed now. Goodnight. Thursday, June 5, 2003 [link] 07:19 p.m. listening to: ditto AUUUUUUUUGH I just applied for a credit card AIIIIIIIIEEE. I feel like I just signed my soul away. ;_; Thursday, June 5, 2003 [link] 04:38 p.m. listening to: "Toccata and Fugue" - Johann Sebastian Bach Wheeeee! English final: DONE Stock portfolio: UPDATED and DONE Annotated bibliography: DONE So all I really have to worry about now, I think, are my Econ final and my English portfolio. Wheeeee. Gosh, I'm hungry. Tuesday, June 3, 2003 [link] 09:12 p.m. listening to: "Haunted" - Poe Band banquet was tonight. I won an award. It went something like this: Mr. Edo: The Director's Award goes to really outstanding senior musicians, they're just fabulous players, blah blah blah. . . Me: (thinking) Haha, it'd be nice to win something for once. . . but yeah right, I suck, I'm like the worst senior- Mr. Edo: And this year's award goes to [REAL NAME HERE]! Me: Huh? Who? Me? **stumbles up to get her plaque** Yeah, anyway, I totally don't deserve this. I suck. No, seriously, I do. Tuesday, June 3, 2003 [link] 03:54 p.m. listening to: "The End of the Summer" - Dar Williams Cloudy and faintly drizzly today. Strange, for early June. Prophetic, maybe. So instead of musing or thinking deep thoughts, I shall tell a strange tale. Rachel, as a TA, gets sent on rather mundane errands, such as buying a bottle of soda from one of the vending machines on-campus for her teacher. I accompanied her on one such errand (I have an unscheduled 6th period, so sometimes I end up hanging out in her classroom), feeling rather thirsty and craving a soda, myself. I wanted a Code Red Mountain Dew, but feared that there weren't any in the machine. "Oh, well," I said, looking at the row of buttons on the machine. "If there aren't any left, I'll get an Orange Slice instead." Orange Slice is good. Rachel went first, purchasing first her teacher's drink and then her own. Then I fed in my dollar, pushed the button for a Code Red-- --and an Orange Slice came out of the machine. Life works in strange ways sometimes. Monday, June 2, 2003 [link] 05:33 p.m. listening to: "Schools of Thought" - All Real and Theresa Vu Please allow me a moment of anxiety and insecurity. OH MY GOD I'M NEVER GOING TO BECOME ANYTHING I'M GOING TO BE NOTHING ALL MY LIFE AND I HAVE NO FRIENDS EVERYONE HATES ME AND NO ONE LOVES ME AND NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME OH MY GOD KILL ME NOW. Thank you. I now return you to your regularly scheduled, uh, blogcrawling. Sunday, June 1, 2003 [link] 01:39 p.m. listening to: classical music Holy shit, it's June! . . . holy shit, Harold went to Prom? **goggles** My throat's still really sore, but other than that I feel fine. I also have this really weird lack of appetite, but that always happens when I'm sick, I guess. Saturday, May 31, 2003 [link] 12:06 p.m. listening to: big honkin' playlist What I thought was an unusually fervent allergy attack turned out to be. . . a cold. Gah. Went to O-nami yesterday with Wendy, Linda, and Becca. We stuffed ourselves quite a bit. For some reason, Wendy and Linda just kept eating. Even after we got back from the buffet, they went and bought some kind of ice dessert and kept eating. Jesus. Friday, May 30, 2003 [link] 11:41 a.m. listening to: "Jockey Full of Bourbon" - Tom Waits My headache was gone when I woke up this morning. HALLELUJAH! But I didn't go to school because a) it was a minimum day anyway and b) I'd only gotten three hours of sleep because I'd been unconscious for most of the day, therefore rendering me unable to sleep when bedtime actually rolled around. But I feel much better now that I can do things like cough without nearly blacking out. Snee. My father can peel oranges so that the skin comes off all in one piece. I don't know how he does it. Thursday, May 29, 2003 [link] 07:16 p.m. listening to: "Wild Horses" - Off the Beat Jesus fuck, my head hurts. And because this place makes a convenient notice board: Dinner: Is on. We are going to Todai for dinner, barring natural disasters or acts of God. Party: Is cancelled due to lack of interest. I don't like large gatherings unless I'm drunk, and if I'm not going to be drunk, I don't want any large gatherings at my house. Don't take it personally. Thursday, May 29, 2003 [link] 12:57 p.m. listening to: nothing Woke up this morning with a headache so painful as to be nearly blinding (no exaggeration; I almost couldn't see, my head hurt so badly). The headache also seemed to have the pleasant side effect of making me nauseous. I managed to stagger to the phone, call Rachel and tell her I wasn't going to school, and then stumbled back to bed and slept for another six hours. My head still hurts, but not nearly as badly now. And I still feel a little bit nauseous. I don't hate everyone and everything nearly as much as I did last night. Wednesday, May 28, 2003 [link] 09:25 p.m. listening to: "Bother" - Stone Sour The concert well all right. Mr. Edo totally left out a fermata, and half the orchestra went on while the other half stopped. It was horrible. But now we can make fun of Mr. Edo. My head hurts. I didn't get a lot of rest last night. Going out on prom night is beginning to become more trouble than its worth, and people keep falling by the wayside (prom, dates, whatever). I'm beginning to seriously consider just staying home, like I was originally planning. I can rent some anime or something, or maybe go to that computer swapmeet that Gen was talking about. Or maybe catch up on all that anime that's languishing on my computer so I can burn it to CD. Really, there are plenty of other times I can go to O-nami. Wednesday, May 28, 2003 [link] 04:55 p.m. listening to: "I Will Remember You" - Sarah McLachlan This will be a series of unconnected thoughts. Just things that have been on my mind, really. I'm beginning to have serious issues with my skin. There are parts on my hand that look like they've been burned; pink and shiny and blistered and everything. I want to go to a dermatologist sometime soon to get this cleared up, but my father says not until I'm in college, because then I'll be covered by the school's insurance. It makes sense, but still, I'm a little irked. It's been getting really hot lately and I don't like it. I wish people would take care of themselves. I mean, seriously. I'm tired of mothering people. I can't comprehend why people don't look after themselves. Do they have some kind of death wish? Do they hate themselves? Furthermore, do they expect me to stand by and do nothing about it, just smile and nod as they forget to eat and forget to sleep and don't go to the doctor? That's bullshit, because I'm not going to stand by and watch you hurt yourself. Even if you're my worst enemy. I have a fragile ego. It may not look like it, but it's true. I guess it comes from being part of an intelligent family. My father constantly makes me feel like an idiot, just talking to my cousins makes me feel like an idiot, and there's really nothing I can do that a family member can't do three times better. Oh, except playing a musical instrument, maybe. Or writing. But these are things that alienate me from my family anyway, because they don't understand why it's so important to me. I also hate it when people don't tell me things. There are some things you should keep secret because it's right, and then there are some secrets that shouldn't be kept. I don't like finding things out after the fact. Why wasn't I trusted enough to be told? I tried to take a nap earlier and couldn't sleep because there were so many things on my mind. Don't think that I'm unappreciative of my life. Because I do appreciate everything I have and everything I've been given. It's just that, you know, into every life a little rain must fall, and I guess this is one of the showers. Having so many good things doesn't make me envy others any less, though. I'm sorry. I'm overwhelmed today. Tuesday, May 27, 2003 [link] 09:20 p.m. listening to: "Call Me Call Me" - Yoko Kanno Just got back from the band Spring Concert. It went okay. I didn't make any horrendous, noticeable mistakes, and I actually didn't screw up on any of my solos (or the parts where I'm playing by myself, which amounts to the same thing, really). Then Mr. Howard took Rachel and I out to dinner, where we talked about whether some of the X-Men are physically/biologically feasible. . . . yes, I know it's a show/movie/comic. Shut up. We're geeks. And AP Biology has eaten my life, so I might as well apply some of what I've learned. ^^;;; And now I'm home doing my homework, and my orange sherbet melts much too fast. Tuesday, May 27, 2003 [link] 07:06 a.m. listening to: nothing I dreamt that I somehow fell asleep at school, and when I woke up everyone was gone. I mooched a ride off Silvano (junior, tuba player, pretty nice guy), although he said he wasn't going home right away. For some reason the distance from my home looked no further than the distance from my local supermarket (I live about two blocks away from Albertson's). I could have walked home. Instead, Silvano and I wandered about singing "Call Me, Call Me," with Silvano on guitar. Silvano finally took me home, and when I walked in the house was a mess. We were moving. I protested, saying I wasn't ready, that my things weren't even packed, and my father responded that I should have listened all those times he told me to start packing. But, he said, it was okay; it wasn't as if we were going to move all in one day. I logged into LiveJournal to find that, due to some new code going live, a bunch of journals had had all their entries deleted, or at least looked as if all their entries had been deleted. I wasn't one of them, fortunately, although my friends page looked funny. Gwen was, though, and she was very upset. And also, Whitney was back from Japan. For some reason, I also logged into my Side7 gallery and found that I had more art in there by Raitha than myself. This puzzled me, and I decided to call Linda (friend and neighbor) about it. I also informed her that I was moving, and she came over to help us move. Someone pulled into the driveway in a large truck. He had lots of empty boxes. He threw some at me, and I took one and began packing it with books. Linda helped here and there, but at some point simply began wandering around in the backyard. I put down whatever I was working on and went to see her. She was crying, or close to it. "What's wrong?" I asked. "No, it's just--I haven't talked to you in a long time," she said. "I haven't talked to you since--since 9-11." (This is a lie, BTW; IRL we've seen and talked to each other frequently.) She sniffled. "I'm angry at Peter Pan right now." "I know," I said. "I'm angry at Peter Pan, too." |
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