Colored Ink
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about me name: n/aaliases: kit, kits, kit kat, the smart girl, foxay, an chin age: 17 location: socal, usa hobbies: anime, manga, reading, writing, doodling, video games, french horn likes: all of the above, being lazy, mushrooms, cheese, animals, laughing loudly in public dislikes: nuts, stinging/biting insects, religious fanatics, violence, olives contact: coloredink@mailcity add .com wishlist playstation 220-30 gig hard drive car summer job a good night's sleep money stress-free life trigun dvd box set realistic wishlist dayworld by philip josé farmerkabuki by david mack over the rhine cd moxy fruvous cd hellsing dvd box set long-term obsessions anime/mangayaoi/shounenai clamp music animals life and living video games current obsession(s) schoolcollege currently reading the picture of dorian gray by oscar wildecurrently playing ffviiiffx currently watching hana yori dango (20)gravitation oav (1) ayashi no ceres (11) utena (16) rayearth (8) gto tv (15) ccs tv (19?) mirage of blaze (6) star ocean ex (22) .hack//sign (7) |
Saturday, November 2, 2002 [link] 09:03 p.m. listening to: "Hotel California" - The Eagles Retook the SAT I this morning. Either it was exceptionally difficult or my brain had atrophied from not taking a math class, but I believe I might have scored lower this time than last time. Good grief. I finished only one of the math sections. I suck. I don't know if the proctor couldn't find our room or what, but we didn't start until around 8:50 AM. I'd thought I'd be able to make maybe half of rehearsal, but when I realized how late we'd started I began to doubt it. During the first five-minute break I begged the proctor to let me use the phone (you can stand there and watch me make the call!), found a kind person who'd let me use his cellphone, and called Rachel to let her know that I'd probably be later than antipated. I ended up missing all of rehearsal; I hadn't known it would be only two hours long. Tonight was probably one of the best shows I'd ever marched. Maybe it was because I'd missed all of rehearsal. But anyway, I did great. The show overall apparently sucked, according to the score we got (almost five points lower than last time!), although we came off the field feeling pretty good. Hoedown pretty much fell apart; there was hideous tearing, meaning that certain sections were either a beat behind or a beat ahead of the rest of the band. Which is, uh, bad. So, we got third place. Out of three. Auuugh. But percussion got second place! Yaaaay! A bee landed on me near the end of the second song. I couldn't see it because it was out of my line of vision, but as I marched to the last set I was thinking frantically, is it on me? It can't sting me through my uniform, can it? It flew off when we began the third song. I should be proud of myself for not bolting--I'm so afraid of stinging things it's not even funny--but really, there was nothing else I could have done. I'm not about to screw up a show just because a bee landed on me. So, home now. It feels strange, coming home so early from a show. But this competition is divided into two sections; one for the 1A, 2A, 3A, and 4A divisions, and then the 5A and Open divisions later that night. They don't have enough chairs/stands for all the bands to stay and watch. So, we got booted out. It's a little disappointing to not get to stay and watch the other bands, but I have to admit I'm relieved, too. More time to do homework. More time to blog. More time to write. I feel. . . powerful today. That's the only way I can really describe it. Passionate. Like I can do anything. Or maybe that's just the words, trying to get out again. The more I work on my personal statement, the more I want to write other things. Thursday, October 31, 2002 [link] 08:31 p.m. listening to: nothing Happy Halloween, ya'll. And, in honor of the occasion, I'm going to talk about what Halloween is really about. Feel free to wander away or go to sleep now. There's really not that much to say. All cultures have, in some form or another, a day of the dead. This has, in America, metamorphosed into overcommercialized garbage, just like every other holiday that was once meaningful. But anyway, yes, Halloween is a form of the day of the dead, the day when the barrier between worlds is at its thinnest. We dress up as ghouls and ghosts to frighten the real ones away, or we appease them with food. It is typically held between summer and autumn, the border between verdant life and slow, encroaching death. Once, death was not something to be afraid of. Once, we respected our ancestors. Once, we celebrated their lives instead of grieved for their deaths. Anyone who wants to find out more about Halloween should probably read The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury. It's got errors in a few places, I'm betting, but overall it's fairly straightforward and informative. Someone let me know if I made any mistakes in regards to my rather insubstantial explanation of the origins of Halloween. My cousin randomly bought Kingdom Hearts and brought it over today. I have no words. Actually, I do. I [HEART] MY COUSIN. Today, before rehearsal, I went on the field twenty minutes early and just sat there, meditating. Or trying to meditate. I'm cursed with a mind that's far too busy to think about nothing. I can only concentrate on my breathing for so long before my mind starts wandering to other subjects. But I tried anyway, eyes closed, thinking in. . . out. . . in. . . out. . . relax. . . relax. . . in. . . out. . . . The crows were cawing in the distance and for a moment, I thought I could almost understand them. When I opened my eyes, they flew away, and I wondered if they were trying to warn me of something. And now, also in honor of Halloween, I present here an excerpt of The Witch of Coos by Robert Frost. He said the dead had souls, but when I asked him How could that be -- I thought the dead were souls, He broke my trance. Don't that make you suspicious That there's something the dead are keeping back? Yes, there's something the dead are keeping back. Wednesday, October 30, 2002 [link] 10:17 p.m. listening to: "I Don't Know You Anymore" - Savage Garden In case anyone doesn't know, yes, there is a chance for the AP Club. I'm bothering the administrators, and I've enlisted people to bother the administrators for me. I'd like to at least get a chance to talk to Dr. Murphy about my reasons for the club and the many, many ideas I have for it. A monthly gripefest, among other things. Weekly swap-meets, if possible. Book sales, study sessions, maybe mini-lectures. It would be a way for both past and present AP students to share their knowledge, and kids who are thinking of taking AP but aren't sure can talk to people who are taking the class or have taken it. Sounds good, yeah? And in case anyone doesn't know, I have a website. Go visit it. Wednesday, October 30, 2002 [link] 06:27 p.m. listening to: "Down in the River to Pray" - O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack Blah. Feel vaguely depressed for no real reason. Maybe it's the music. Or maybe it's the pain of not writing; everything I write nowadays seems to be centered around my personal statement. While it feels good to write about writing (it's very therapeutic, saying all the things I've always wanted to say), it's no substitute for, well, writing. Fiction, that is. I have some ideas floating around in my head, but nothing solid yet. I'm waiting. It'll come, in time, if it wants to. I actually have no real homework today. At least, nothing that I can't put off for tomorrow. I guess I'll do it anyway. Tuesday, October 29, 2002 [link] 05:23 p.m. listening to: "The Queen and the Soldier" - Suzanne Vega So, today I go in to see my counselor. And today I bring up the subject of an AP Club with her, because I am attempting to revive the AP Club idea by talking directly to Mr. Crist and Dr. Murphy (who apparently have no idea that an AP Club was proposed). She listens attentively, seems interested, and points out that if we really wanted to fundraise for AP tests then we could do it through NHS, if the majority of interested kids are in it. And I ask how that would work. She gives me a strange look and asks, "Aren't you in NHS?" And I say no. She asks why; I shrug and say, "I don't know. You didn't like me." She's in charge of NHS this year, see. And she says well no, she didn't do the selection last year, Ms. Johnson did, and Ms. Johnson is gone. Jean comes over today for AP Bio study session; I recount the conversation to her, since she's interested in the AP Club, and she is also surprised that I'm not in NHS. "What's wrong with them? I mean, you're [insert real name here]. How can they not want you in NHS?!" And you know, honestly, I don't know. I meet the qualifications. Maybe they just didn't like my essay. Or they didn't think I had enough committment. But anyway, Jean leaves feeling very disturbed, convinced that there's something wrong with NHS for not wanting me. I'm surprised that I feel bitter, even now. I mean, hello, I should have gotten over it this far into my senior year. But yeah, I still feel bitter, although now it's not so much depression as a kind of pervasive "fuck you, NHS" kind of feeling. Fuck you, NHS. I will get into college without NHS or CSF or anything like that. And just watch, I'll be famous or something without ever having been in NHS. I think if they asked me to join now I might reject them just out of spite. . . . no, that's a lie. I might join. Or I might not. I don't know. But they're not going to ask me, so I'm not going to wonder. There's no point in holding onto grudges so tightly. I might never let them go again. Monday, October 28, 2002 [link] 05:26 p.m. listening to: "The Queen and the Soldier" - Suzanne Vega I had a really bizarre dream last night, that John "Diet John" Dwyer at my school helped bust a drug ring and wrote a book about it titled Overlord. And then he was afraid that they would come after him, but nobody seemed to believe or understand why he was so scared. Dreams like this are a fairly common occurrence for me, I just don't know why Diet John of all people. We don't even talk on a regular basis. Yes, he's a very good candidate for the role (and everyone I've told the dream to agrees), but I think it's just peculiar that someone I don't know very well had such a prominent role. I dunno. Maybe I'm just thinking too hard. It'd make for a kind of cool novel, though. Sunday, October 27, 2002 [link] 07:04 p.m. listening to: "The Boxer" - Carbon Leaf AH HA HA I AM SO MASSIVELY INFERIOR I SUCK. So, today the PYMA and PYMO brass sections join together to play the fanfare, aka Declamation on a Hymn Theme by Jack Stamp. It's massively cool, like a really distorted version of "Simple Gifts" with funky percussion beat. So, anyway, PYMO has four horns, and OH MY GOD I AM POOR AND INFERIOR. There they are with their preppy sweaters and their five thousand dollar instruments and here I am with a fifteen hundred dollar instrument that doesn't even belong to me in my Hellsing t-shirt and jeans with a hole where a dog bit me while I was on my bicycle. **weeps** I suck. Actually, their second horn was using the exact same model that I have, so that made me feel a little bit better. But everyone else had, like Conn 8Ds and aaaagggh. I made a friend today! One of the cello players saw my Hellsing t-shirt and exclaimed, "That's Hellsing!" And I said, "Yes, it is." And she said, "The school board wouldn't let us watch that in the anime club. They wouldn't let us watch X, either," she added. Then we got into a wonderful conversation about Watsuki-sensei's adorableness at AnimExpo last year until people told us to take it outside. But by then we had to sit down and set up. Susan was there today. She won't be there next week because she has to play a concert. I weep. She says we're (I have no idea who "we" are, but okay) going to have to get me a mute somehow, because one's required in one of the songs. Gabrielino has no mutes and I just. . . really can't afford a mute at this point in time, especially for just one song. Although actually, I will need my own mute sooner or later, because I plan to pursue music in college and continue playing horn. Which means I will need my own mute. That also means I'll need my own instrument, but I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. Saturday, October 26, 2002 [link] 08:16 p.m. listening to: various stuff Amea: I think Pomona College has your name all over it. Kelsey: Nooooo, not the Angel Sanctuary OAV! Did I not warn you about that? OAVs inevitably suck! . . . oh well, too late. Walker: I assure you, there is nothing scary about filling out an application. Trust me on this one. Either they will accept you, or they won't. At least you are not with the filling out of huge applications that will determine your future and your career and whether you will have a career, like I am. You are only filling out an application to be a part-time worker at Subway, a fast-food dining establishment. No fear. Saturday, October 26, 2002 [link] 04:53 p.m. listening to: "Anna Begins" - Brown Derbies I! Have! Keyboard! At last! No more stiff, recalcitrant keys! No more spending half my time correcting typos! I hit the key and the letter comes out! I went to my second cousin's birthday party today. Fun, but tiring. I'm not fond of crowds or meeting people I don't know, and they wear me out. Lots of good food, good company; pleased to find a boy who has an interest in writing. Surrounded by accountants as I usually am, it's wonderful to find someone else who likes to write. He won a writing contest recently with a totally made up story, which made me laugh. And now, since I have so little homework this weekend, what did I do? Did I get an early start on my homework so as to finish it as soon as possible? Did I catch up on my reading? Did I feed the poor, volunteer my time somewhere, or do anything at all productive? No! I played FFX! God, I'm so ashamed of myself. Hi, Tsaiko ! Next thing you know, I'm going to be playing "fun with referrer logs." Friday, October 25, 2002 [link] 05:34 p.m. listening to: "Across the Universe" - Rufus Wainwright So, I signed up today for the UC workshop at school. I'd received differing accounts about the workshop; it's useless, it's helpful, it's kind of interesting. But when fifth period got out, I realized that I really wanted to go home instead of staying at school until 5:30 PM, when we'd depart for the football game. I went and saw my counselor sixth period about my personal statement and asked her about the UC workshop. She informed me that it's not really imperative, they just teach you how to fill out the form. Then she gave me a copy of the application and told me that she could help me fill it out, if I wanted. I think I have the coolest counselor in the universe. So, I went home. Took a nap. Woke up. Changed. Went to school. Was informed that the band is not going to the game because it looks awfully like rain (it was raining earlier today) and Edo doesn't want anyone getting sick. I shrugged, came home. Wow, a free Friday night. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just stare at the wall and drool for a while. Gosh, isn't my life exciting? Thursday, October 24, 2002 [link] 10:50 p.m. listening to: "Midnight Radio" - Hedwig and the Angry Inch So, Kaie and I have this irrational like for Sloane from Arcana, which is a very well-drawn comic that has cool occultish stuff. and vampires. Sexy bishounen vampires. Lots of bishounen all around, really. Who neck. But yeah. Going on. We like Sloane, who is the Normal One. Emo glasses, floppy hat, plays bass guitar in a band, really adorable. We do not just like him. We LUUURRRVE Sloane. But he has no mention on the cast page and isn't even one of the possibilities on the Arcana character selector. Which, of course, made us wonder how long he was going to stick around. Eventually, we concluded that he will probably die a horrible, gruesome death and then we will weep like little girls. Then I read today's strip. Or rather, tomorrow's strip. And now I have a horrible foreboding feeling that I will have to weep like a little girl soon. Thursday, October 24, 2002 [link] 09:10 p.m. listening to: "The Origin of Love" - Hedwig and the Angry Inch So. Today, I'm thinking, "Well, school is going relatively smoothly. Sure, AP Government is kicking my ass from here to New Zealand, but at least I don't have to worry about AP Biology anymore! I got it aaallll under control." Then today Dr. Jang says, "Oh, yeah, we're covering three chapters this week. I'm not telling you when the test is because I never tell you when the test is, but I'll tell you that after this test you'll have a midterm where we'll cover everything we've learned so far." Which is, oh, eighteen chapters or so. The entire class starts laughing in that "Oh my God this is so funny I'm going to cry" kind of way. Gosh, I didn't know bitching about school was so therapeutic. I'll stop now before everyone who's in college bitchslaps me. I blogged earlier today, in case anyone cares. It was, like, three lines. |
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