nelle@envy.nu
http://www.envy.nu/nelle


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A Day in the Life of Danielle
September 1, 2000

Age:
17 years, 3 months, 6 days

Looking forward to:
Welcome Dance 2000

Required Reading:
Othello
by William Shakespeare

Last Movie:
What Lies Beneath

Song of the Moment:
Say it Ain't So
Weezer

What's Spinning:
The Man Who
Travis

Talking to:
Nobody

Craving:
Tiramisu

I'm feeling:
Stressed

Sisterly saying:
"You know, we don't really like you..."

Saturday, September 30, 2000
It's the last day of September; it's my sister's birthday. Because I'm such a great (and cheap) sister, I got her a caramel frappucino and a box of chocolate covered espresso beans from Starbucks. I'm sure Vanessa greatly appreciated the gift.

Life's been okay.

I saw The Exorcist yesterday with a couple of acquaintances. Now I know why Sister Viviana told our seventh grade class to never play with Ouija boards. "They open the gates to the devil," she used to tell us. So, Parker Brothers should not be selling Ouija as a board game. If you don't believe me, watch The Exorcist. You don't want to look like the possessed Linda Blair.
Posted at 07:20 p.m. by Danielle.

Friday, September 22, 2000
It's amazing how many people asked me what was wrong with me today. Well, the day was pretty gloomy. I usually like overcast days. However, my back cramps put me in a bad mood and I just felt depressed the whole day. I was five minutes late to A Period. I don't think I've ever made it to Physics before 7:35 AM. I told the class it was because I didn't know how to park. It's true; it takes me about two times to make my car straight. The parking lot is small, so there's no where to maneuver. Around 8:30, the Dean pops her head into the classroom, points at me and says, "Danielle, your lights are on." Oh, yeah. I forgot to turn off my lights. I wouldn't have had to turn them on if it had been a sunny morning. Anyway, that was just a great way to start off the morning.

The rest of the day was pretty normal. I had a calc test that I think I screwed up on. Stupid mistake...I forgot to cancel. If you ever go into a test, never have the mentality that you will fail...because you probably will. If you think you know everything, you will know everything. If you say your mother loves you, you'll do fine. If you hug a friend, you'll be calmer. Those techniques come from our Freshman Stress Management Lecture that we were given about three years ago. Valeda and I think that we need a Senior Stress Management Workshop. I think half the class wants to commit suicide or something.

I absolutely love Experiencing God. We played Mystical Chairs yesterday, the EG version of Musical Chairs. What other class lets you feel like a kindergartener? It's a great feeling to let go of all the stress that I've been under. It's a great feeling to forget that you have deadlines to meet, obligations to fulfill, and people to keep happy. It's wonderful to feel "young again."

After school today, I asked my sister where she wanted to go. "Wherever you take me," she said. So I drove on to Hollywood Blvd., saw the traffic, drove back up to Franklin, started to head for the Glendale Galleria, got fed up with the traffic on Los Feliz, turned left on Hillhurst, and asked my sister if she wanted to go to the Observatory. So that's where we went after school. We looked through the telescopes and saw the beautiful city of Los Angeles, played with the weight scales of other planets, and became mesmerized by the big, giant pendulum and the rotation of the earth. We bought a flashlight for our dad's birthday gift tomorrow. It's a flashlight with spaceships that go over the light. And Vanessa bought some glow string that'll make her...glow. I was broke.

Then, since I had less than a quarter tank of gas left, we decided to go home. But, we just had to stop by Pic-N-Save. Vanessa was scrounging around in her purse for loose change and found about 95 cents worth. We looked around and didn't find anything worthwhile. We did, however, buy lighters. Spontaneous buy. Spontaneous trip. Spontaneous children.
Posted at 07:55 p.m. by Danielle.

Wednesday, September 20, 2000
I think I've chosen my senior quote. The spiritual mystic Kahlil Gibran once said, "The fear of hell is hell itself, and the longing for paradise is paradise itself." The quote is due tomorrow. I've been telling my friends all week that I don't have a quote; I have twenty. I was internally debating whether or not to pick a quote from a song or something political or spiritual. If I have space, I'll probably put in a quote of my own or something.

Our proofs for our senior portraits came today too. They announced it on the P.A., and throughout the school, everyone heard the collective senior scream. And when school was finally over, we ran to the quad to get our pictures. It was pretty exciting. I was a litle disappointed with the pictures. But I'm one of those girls who's never happy with how she looks. All my friends can honestly tell me how beautiful I am, but I'll be looking at that pimple on my forehead. Fine, as Marisa said, "I actually am very pleased." Good to hear that she's pleased with herself. And I'll upgrade my pleasure to contentment.
Posted at 10:03 p.m. by Danielle.

Saturday, September 9, 2000
Well, I finally got out of bed at 3:45 this afternoon. I took two steps, and I collapsed. I was so out of it. I felt so wasted, yet I didn't do anything illegal. Heh.

Friday morning never began, as Thursday evening never ended. Friday was Welcome Day, a day with no classes with the intent of welcoming freshmen, new students, and new teachers. It was a day that should have been fun, and it should have ingrained itself in my memory as a day that will never be forgotten. Did that happen? No. It will now be remembered by its place in Danielle's Cold Tea.

Anyway, my English teacher had the great idea of allowing us to turn in our essays any day this week. And of course, Princess of Procrastination chose Friday. So I finished my essay around 7:30 yesterday morning. (Welcome Day doesn't start until 8:45 A.M.) I got to school in ten minutes, but the damn security guard closed the parking gate. My sister and I believe that the guard didn't think any more people were coming. So we have to turn around, go up to the upper parking lot, go back down to the student lot, and wait for the guard to open it. I made my sister turn my essay in to Ms. Conklin, so I can go help set up.

Anyway I run to the auditorium, and Marie was there in setting up. There were other random people in there, namely our moderator, Nicole Lynch; our Commisioner of Publicity, Ann; Senior Class President, Nicky D.; Historian, Nicole B., who were working to do something. Ann and I were quickly commissioned to go to My Secret Garden to get flowers. Marie was busy, but I had no idea how much she was freaking out. That was her day, and she had planned everything. Anyway, the day went as scheduled:
Procession of Freshmen with Senior Sisters
Welcome Song - "We are Family"
Opening Prayer
Welcome Speeches
Welcoming of New Students
Class Presentations
Break
Slide Show
Freshmen Presentation
Faculty Presentation
Alma Mater
Lunch and Dancing on the Quad

I probably won't have fond memories of the day. I'll probably remember wanting to barf as I ran to make sure the DJ came on time. I'll probably remember people telling me to calm down. I'll probably remember that I didn't have a good time at my last Welcome Day. Lunch was a joke because Nicole Lynch needed me to pay the DJ. God, won't people just leave me in peace? So, I never danced a dance to the DJ that I picked out. The day ended at one o'clock. I stayed until three, doing last minute stuff.

I went home, took a shower, and drove myself to West L.A. for SAT Class. I left early so I could get to the dance. I was really late, however, because traffic on Wilshire is hell. Why do so many people have to think Rodeo Drive is the shiiet. I picked up Jamie because she needed a ride. I got home to get my sister and to change. Amazingly, it took me about 3 minutes to get ready. I wore a short black skirt and a black tank top with spaghetti straps and my infamous fishnet stockings. My shoes were black heels with straps that tied around my ankles. I didn't realize I looked like a prostitute until 11:50 P.M. when I saw my reflection in the glass door. I really do wonder what the teachers thought. But damn I looked good. Yeah right.

So I never danced. Okay I did jump for a few seconds to Blink-182. Honestly, that really doesn't count as dancing. When I wasn't running around, I was being yelled at by Nicole Lynch. As a found out later, she yelled at everybody. To make a long story shorter, there were a lot of people. It was more successful than even I could have imagined. It would be a miracle if we did make any profit because we probably used more than two thousand dollars to put this dance on. It looked like people had fun. I wish I was a person.

The dance was over at 11:00 P.M. Marie, my sister, and I left around 12:30 A.M. We went to Denny's because we hadn't eaten dinner. The sacrifice of student council. We talked and ate until 1:30. We talked about the day that almost wouldn't end and complained about the shit we've been through. We've realized that we're the kind of people who can't say no. We'll do things that no one else will do. We'll work when people are sleeping. Okay, that's enough. We just know that there's something wrong here and we're almost fed up with it.
Posted at 11:43 p.m. by Danielle.

Saturday, September 9, 2000
She planned a dance
And never danced
She tried
She cried
Tired, Fired
She was tired of this and you
And everybody else telling her what to do
She loved above
Polite, inspite
Of the rudeness
The madness
The truth and
The sadness
The papers will burn
The tides will turn
Later brings you
Queen debater
So scream
So dream
So let it seem
That you're sure
You'll endure
Endure your essence
Pure

The dance has come. The dance has gone. And after all the stress, I'm still stressed. Marie, Vanessa, and I had a venting session after the dance. We went to Denny's and talked and talked. It seems that we both see the same side of the story.
Posted at 01:33 a.m. by Danielle.

Sunday, September 3, 2000
It was Nora's birthday today. She's my soul sister. I'm not exactly sure how we started calling each other that. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I will be her ring sister in February. Anyway, I went to her birthday dinner at Buca di Beppo's in Pasadena. I thought it would be kind of weird because I would be the only senior...(Nora and her other friends are juniors) so I brought my sister who is a sophomore. Nora said it would be okay to bring my sister; they're friends too. We're all friends. So Nora's now sweet (and sour) sixteen. Happy birthday, Nora!
Posted at 11:23 p.m. by Danielle.

Saturday, September 2, 2000
Spontaneous poetry

Shiver
Because you're cold, lover
Searching, wanting, finding never
There, but not there ever
Obsession because
He is busy now
Don't take him
Don't you know how
Obligations he has prioritized
He doesn't have time to tell you lies
He's played around
He's played with you
He's serious now
Dealing with real life now
He's living now
And you're still dead.
Posted at 01:33 a.m. by Danielle.

Saturday, September 2, 2000
Adela VL: I think I would fit in at USC..but I don't really want to stay home.

Valeda and I have been best friends since kindergarten. I don't recall how we became friends. Maybe she let me borrow a crayon, or maybe it was because we both used to roll our knee-highs down to our ankles. We've seen each other through difficult times, and our relationship together has been less than perfect. The bottom line is, however, we're close, and we've been close for twelve years.

There comes a time in a senior's life when she must decide whether to stay home or go far away (for college, of course). This has been an issue neither Valeda nor I want to talk about. We both know the chances of us going to the same school are slim. The only school we have in common is University of California, San Diego. And because my mother rules my life, I probably won't go there. (It's too close to Tijuana.) I'm not sure if I want to stay home. Val knows she's not staying home. One year from now, my life will be turned upside down.

I am truly scared of the possibilities that await me. However, it excites me that there may be a great consequence to any one of my actions. You can't always go where you're friends go. You're parents can't always follow you through doors that are open to only you. The decision is your own to make. But always, your trusted family and loyal friends will be there to love you.
Posted at 12:54 a.m. by Danielle.

Friday, September 1, 2000
Friday, it's finally Friday. I'm not really in the mood to write anything about this week. I'll just leave you with a poem I wrote in Experiencing God. We left the classroom and our assignment was to meditate on something in nature somewhere on campus. It's amazing to make a connection with something on the quad.

Where do I come from?
Where do you come from
Shy, closed, loved, still unexposed
Overpowered
Overpowering
Small, yet bigger than life
Secretive
At peace
God takes care of you
God is in you
As he is
In me
We are one,
We have our seasons
We open
We close
We trust, we doubt
We help
We Love
Ignore her
Lay
Breathe
Be in me
I'll be in you.
Posted at 07:08 p.m. by Danielle.