I was sitting and awaiting
Just thinking, contemplating my life when I heard the phone
I picked up the receiver
And I did not believe her
When I heard a voice say you're not alone

When I am down and I am blue
All I have to do
Is close my eyes and think of you
And the world is new
-Save Ferris

The Mother-Daughter Luncheon and Fashion Show was today. It's ironic that I didn't have lunch with my mother. The models had to be at the Hilton at nine A.M., so I just drove myself. I saw the runway, and I laughed. It was probably five times as long as the one in the cafeteria, and much more intimidating. I didn't fall, and I prayed I wouldn't fall. Watching us all on the runway, I was reminded of some kind of really bad comedy with wannabe models or beauty queens...something like Drop Dead Gorgeous. Anyway, we "perfected" the walking by ten, so there was time to kill until one. We had to get ready in the Club Room, and it's amazing how much of a mess girls make. It was quite disgusting. There were curling irons, shoes, and bags of make-up everywhere. I was like, "Did everyone bring their closets?" We got crappy sandwiches for lunch. Egg salad with too much mayonaise and some weird squash and cucumber number. Marisa and Helen, however, did take advantage of the cute little bottles of Diet Coke and Sprite. Too bad my purse was too small for concealed drinks. I was playing BS with some friends when Rowena comes up and asks me if she can do my hair. I said okay because I didn't want to seem like a party pooper. It's so weird being cordial with people I've never really talked to. For four years, we've basically ignored each other, but today, she curled my hair. It's amazing how much relations will change in the last months of a life. Catherine told me as much. She said eveyrone was so nice to each other the last week. You might as well, right? You don't want to graduate with people still thinking you're a bitch.

So the luncheon was done by three o'clock. My mom went home, and Vanessa and I decided to stay because Save Ferris was playing at CityWalk at around eight. We killed time and watched Hannibal. Let's just say that was an interesting movie. Will the sequel come out when I'm in my late twenties?

So when we came out at six, there was actually a small group of people in front of the stage. Vanessa and I stake out a space, but we realize that it's freaking cold. Because we had come from the luncheon, we were both wearing [short] dresses and heeled shoes. We were most likely the coldest people there. So Vanessa drags me all over CityWalk to find a pair of pants. We never did find any. I couldn't believe that Dickies at Hot Topic cost $45. Goodness. My mother would laugh at that. I really wasn't ready to shell out twenty-eight dollars for UCLA sweatpants either. So we go back cold. We're standing there, cold, with chattering teeth. At least we were in the front row. Then some guy behind the railing asked, "Aren't you guys cold?" My sister, who talks too much, said yeah. Then she tells the story about the luncheon, my modeling, and the fact that we want pants. I forgot what he said after, but he said something about warming up and that's not even a good place to stand because it's not in front of him. Hmm. I'm so dense. I didn't even realize he was in the band until he was on the stage playing the saxophone with the rest of Save Ferris. So we told all of our problems to Eric Zamora. Doesn't that make me feel better.
Friday, February 23, 2001, 10:32 p.m.

Little darling
I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling
It seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, do do do do
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
-The Beatles

Is the spring here yet?

I technically have 61 days of school left. I took my three days of Kairos and Easter vacation out of the equation. I did leave in my three days of finals, my AP tests, Mary's Day, Senior ditch day, and other days when I don't have to go to school. That equals about ten days. So I technically have around 50 days of school left. Wonderful. In retrospect, I almost don't want to leave. High school has been good to me. In a little part of my heart, I want to stay in my cloistered school, the haven in Hollywood.

The UC letters will start coming in March. A week ago, a representative from UC Riverside called me and basically said that I was already admitted. That's good. Now I'm guaranteed admittance into three schools I really don't want to go to. Riverside's in the boonies. Jerel says the Denny's restaurants over there aren't even open 24 hours. The horrors of no Grand Slam at three in the morning.

Mother-Daughter luncheon is on Friday. It's amazing what my school prioritizes. We get a day off from school to have lunch with our mothers. I'm only going because they give out great gift bags.
Wednesday, February 21, 2001, 10:54 p.m.

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive, oh oh
It's driven me before, it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
Lately, I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found...
-Incubus

I haven't updated this thing for a month. I can't tell you everything, and I won't try. I joined the swim team this week, which is kind of funny because I can hardly swim the 50-free. I think I'm only doing it because it was one of those things that I always wanted to do. I almost did it freshman year, but the thought of Tampax scared the shit out of me. Lovely. But I look damn good in a bathing suit. At least I'll graduate in June looking good with a great tan.
Thursday, February 8, 2001, 10:30 p.m.

nelle@envy.nu
http://www.envy.nu/nelle


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A Day in the Life of Danielle
February 8, 2001

Age:
17 years, 8 months, and 13 days

Looking forward to:
March 13, 2001
Kairos XIII

Reading & Read:
The Sound and the Fury
by William Faulkner

The Virgin Suicides
by Jeffrey Eugenides

Last Movie:
Save the Last Dance
I watched it only to see the audition scene.

Song of the Moment:
Kiss Off
Violent Femmes

What's Spinning:
Comatised
Leona Naess

Talking to:
No One

Craving:
What I Can't Have

I'm feeling:
Pained

Sisterly saying:
"I talked her into it..."




© 2000,2001 Danielle