Tuesday, November 9, 2004, Stomachache

11:41 a.m.

Oh God.. Been 3 days I'm suffering for this *beep* *beep* stomachache!!! T_T

Guess that's the warning for not being on time on changing layout? o_O hoho.. what's the deal? doesn't make sense!

Anywaysss.... yes, yes, I KNOW!!! I should change the layout really soon on this coming holiday ~ in other words, this coming weekends!!! YayYYy!!!!

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Sunday, October 31, 2004, Deg-degan Ga Karuan [Sindrom Ultah]

07:00 p.m.

Hyaaa... Cleo hari ini deg2an ga karuannn... I'll be 16 by tomorrow [Nov 01] and feels really, really nervous.. Seneng bgt bisa jadi 16, klo bisa going much, much older... pengen bangettt [tipe orang yang pengen cepet jadi dewasa]!!!!

Trus hari ini Cle lagi kangeeen banget ama skolah. Padahal udah lama banget Cle benci pergi ke sekolah sampe tiap pagi pengen nangis karena pengen bolosss.. Trus hari ini Cle pengeeeeen banget ke skolah..

Cle lagi kangen 11.IPA.4.,... lagi kangen Miar, Tiara, Odhe, Edwin, Nessa, Rica, Christy, Edwin, Lydia, Stiee...
Cle kangen sama anak2 11.2 yang skelas cuma pas English...
Kangen sama Math-nya Mr.Ivan yang test trakher Cle dapet 3.8... T_T
Cle kangen sama Chemisty-nya Ma'am Ita ama Physics-nya Manihar...
Cle kangen sama Elective Visual Art-nya Mr.Manoj...
Cle kangen CAKWE KANTIN YANG GEDE2 MAMPUS DAN MURAAAAAHHH
Cle kangen skolah! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! MWAH!! ^_^

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Saturday, October 23, 2004, Anxiety Disorder

01:57 p.m.

That's the syndrome. Anxiety Disorder. I've been currently in trouble with that.

The doctor with whom I made an appointment said to me that I am a kind of teen that full of fear, and, in other way, is stressful.

I always get nervous easily, when I have to go for a presentation in front of the class, when I have to meet new people, when I...... AWW WELL, even when THERE'S NOTHING HAPPENING, MY HEART SOMETIMES - ALL OF A SUDDEN - BEATS SO FAST, JUST LIKE SOMETHING'S REALLY, REALLY BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!! And my hands and feet are going to sweat, and they're extremely wet! And I can't keep quiet. I scratch my arms with knife, cutter or even NAILS. I SHAKE. Sometimes my hands shake so hard until I can't even HOLD A PAPER. Everything I hold FALL. Bcoz I'm shaking. Bcoz I'm nervous. I'm depressly anxious.

He said...
I keep myself closed. I'm not open to other people, about sharing problems I have
I'm too full of thoughts
I think too much, especially bad things

I ever had bad times in my life that made some kind of trauma to me
I'm basically is a very sensitive girl

So he said...
I should go out often, and not to spend weekends at home
I should NOT just hear my friends share their problems to me [as I usually do: be a good, a very good listener]
I should share my problems too

And so and so on...

But now is weekend and I'm kinda hearty to stay in my beloved house.... =) SORRY DOCTOR!

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004, Our Beautiful Life

02:38 p.m.

I always think life sucks. But there are few parts I remember, are good rememberances to me.

Still connected to the crazy things we: Dhea, Glendys and I did last week... [OOPSS... IT'S BEEN MORE THAN A WEEK I'VE BEEN "ABSENT" HERE??? SORRY GUYS!]

After that day, the day after or a few day after, we went there again. After skool.... which usually I am not permitted to go anywhere...
Anyways, I went out bcoz my mom's outta town, and dad was kinda busy with some boring meeting at the office. And so Dhea picked me up after Glendys at home at about 5 and so there we went awayy.

I gotta tell you, we were still in uniforms. Yeah. 3 chicks from 3 different skool hangin' all around...

Well, we went to Rokkafella again bcoz Glendys asked to be introduced to a man she saw last time we came there.

When we arrived, we were surprised bcoz there are MANY of those big boys hangin' there too. Too many we didn't know.
But when we went inside...
"Ah. That's the Rokkafella guy."
Dhea was purposely came closer to A the distro owner, and asked him to introduce the guy - his friend - to Glendys.
Anyways A looked [and said, also] that he was really tired. But he still kept smile [which must have been hard for him] on and called the guy and introduced him to Glendys.

IT WAS JUST BECAUSE GLENDYS WANTED TO KEEP HIGH HER IMAGE, [I think], she shook hands with this guy initialed M with such sweet attitude, WHICH ACTUALLY WAS EMBARASSING, in front of the two of us. And she BLANKED. I didn't know whether she got nervous or so glad to know him, but she made the situation damn bored without anyone talking!!!!! She didn't do a thing until Dhea and I made some joke around.

But anyways, there were some other things that were absolutely ashaming there, and we went out really dast bcoz of that!!!

Glendys was shocked, she didn't expect the meeting of her and M was totally screwed up. We told her about her silly act and she almost cried realizing that.
Dhea and I felt so funny anyway, in spite of getting embarassed. But we promised we wouldn't go there in this short time ahead.

After we got home, Dhea was caught by her mother hanging with us, so she's recently grounded now. Glendys has broken our commitment. She has gone again to Rokkafella with Felice - just the two of them. I've been very tired bcoz the day after the incident, I didn't go to skool and I had to catch up doing some report and assignments I missed.

Anyways in a phone call, Dhea and I have made a tickling and also touching conversation.

Dhea: Hell no. I won't be able to go anywhere around these several weeks.
Me: So do I. I'll be doing these school shits all over the week.
Dhea: Well, I guess I'm kinda regret doing too much sin in such 2 short days... :D haha...
Me: Yeah. But those were fun anyway.
Dhea: Hey, that's life. Just think about it. We're in the different schools. When else can we hang out after school without parents' permission, eat in warung and do boys-window-shopping al over the night. Within the uniforms. There won't be time for that anymore.
Me: You're right.

Haha... I used to do those things a lot. I just realized things happened and changed. Dhea will be graduated from High School next year, a year faster than me. I need to focus in some lesson to get high grades for accomodation to the university. Glendy also has her own life to do. And times we'd do such "teens-stuff" like that? There will be no more.

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Wednesday, October 13, 2004, Extra Ordinary Sunday [Report]

02:14 p.m.

So what's up with Sunday?

Imma tell ya 1st, what I usually do in Sunday. In my family, it's more like Family Day. So then every Sunday I won't go anywhere with my friends [all of that stuff are done only on Fridays and Saturdays] ~ On Sundays I only go to the evening church with my family. Dats all. :(

Last Sunday, Dhea said to me that their parents were out of town, so she had the whole weekend free - with two very, very loyal servants and a driver - all by herself!
She felt bored anyway, and asked me and Glendys to go out after lunch with her. We planned to meet up with my parents in the church afterwards.

But how if a plan was changed?

I told my mom that Glendys needed to share some stories bcoz her parents had just had a big fight the night before, and she asked Dhea and I to go and meet her in Starbucks, Kemang. With that bullshit, my mom let me go out. [Usually she'd say, "No way, no outting today, u know we're going to church in the evening!"]

So, Dhea picked me up at my home and we met in Starbucks.

After 15 minutes there, we moved to some distros [dats how we usually call the "Street Boutique"].

First we went to Cynical, MD. Ha. Of course. The always-and-always distro teens are going to.
Hmm... Then we went to another 2 distros, but we anded up in ROKKAFELLA!!!! Yay, I met Dhea's friends,... all I do quite remember are Acha the owner of the shop and Raka and... uh, well... forget thou! ;) ;)

Anyways... We had forgotten bout the church. When we were on the way to Cilandak Townsquare and planned to have dinner there, my mom called me [at 6.30 pm or so] and asked me where the hell I was.

"Oh, mom, I went to Dhea's church in Pondok Indah, so I'm coming home with her. We're still waiting for her driver anyways..."

...So I lied about Glendys to my mom, lied about the church, even going to the townsquare after I said I'd go home straight ahead. What more? I once felt really guilty, but no man learn from no mistakes, right? So let it be.

Hahahahayyy....

We went to my home and do some stuff there, but then Dhea asked us to go to townsquare again to see the Rokkafellas' band on stage there. Unfortunately, my mom said: NO.

It's been a privilege then, to be mom's naughty lil girl for a time being.

Anyways, Chreezy, I'll add ya really, really soon too! :D Peace out, duddette!

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Cleo, female, 16 and still in high school. SD Kyo addict. ...MORE?

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