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Tuesday, March 2, 2004
I am Jack's smirking revenge.
Have you ever heard of a thing called "Boots of Sin"? No? Well, they are going to look oh so good on Frank.
There were ants on my bed. ;__. // 09:52 p.m.
[x] Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Despite earlier inclinations to like their music, I've reevaluated my choice and decided that the Bare Naked Lady's are pure evil. Also, perhaps unfortunaly, that Stacy's Mom song grows on you. // 12:37 a.m.
[x] Wednesday, February 25, 2004
I have a cake baby! I wanna make a cake with sharks! Not real sharks! Plastic ones! Yaaaaaay! // 12:26 a.m.
[x] Sunday, February 22, 2004
Whee! It's been a while!
I've been very busy! Like take Valentines Day. Where I was alone and hated myself! But on the bright side I bought a pair of Vigina Monologue undies! Very cute!
I like my friends here. They ask me how I am and care. And we have lots of fun! Dancing and making smores! Ted finally picked a woman, Anna. I'm glad for them! I like them both a lot! And they're very cute together, but not in a way that makes me sick and wanting to hate myself. They make me smile in a non desperate way.
I'm having no man luck, but I think there's a girl that likes me... It's times like these that I wished I liked the girls. I've always thought of it like this, I'm attracted to men, but I figure if some girl came along and I instantaneously fell completely in love with her or something then I wouldn't hestitate dispite my non-girl liking. It sounds rather odd, but I figure if I ever fall instantaneously in love then it was went to be... But I don't actually think people can just instantly fall in love. I know there can be an atraction, but that's not love. Love is something that should develop through a trusting relationship... You should date someone because you "love" them. You should date them because you fall completely in love with them someday. You can't rush that day though. Every "I love you" before that day comes is false and hurtful. How could you do that? How could you hurt someone like that? There is no instant love. Love is work. And showing your love through your effort. You can't lie back and love, you must love actively!
...You ever realize that you have no idea what the hell your typing? DAMN YOU SHERLOCK HOLMES!
I played The Sims, and I got a phone call. And it said, "You psychic advisor's head has exploded." I don't like The Sims anymore!
I noticed how no one seems to speak with me. Oh well, I guess. // 10:47 p.m.
[x] Wednesday, January 28, 2004
You are the multi-talented whole right hand!
What finger on Kyo's right hand are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
// 09:48 p.m.
[x] Wednesday, January 28, 2004
// 06:10 p.m.
[x] Wednesday, January 28, 2004
// 06:07 p.m.
[x] Wednesday, January 28, 2004
what's your battle cry? |
mewing.net | merchandise!
...How perfect is that?! // 06:04 p.m.
[x] Wednesday, January 28, 2004
...I see your lips moving, but all I can hear is hide.
I was listening to hide on the way back from language table today and it was snowing and cold, but hide somehow made me feel like it was warm and happy...
I'm sorta sad right now! Anna said she would come get me when they were going to watch the movie, but she didn't... And they watched the movie without me! She felt bad, but I told her it was alright even though I'm still sad. ::shrugs:: // 05:33 p.m.
[x] Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Kyou no entry wa chotto mijikai da. Konban wa ichinensei no dinner da yo! Chicken curry o taberu. Nihongo no test ga atta. Yasashikatta datta! // 04:29 p.m.
[x] Tuesday, January 13, 2004
I've got a crazy look in my eyes. You've never seen it before... Wanna know why? Because I've never been this depressed. Ever. I don't want to talk to you about it, okay? I can deal on my own and I will...
I think I have a stomache problem. Whenever I eat I feel horribly sick. I think I'll just stop eating because that's the only thing that I can think to do.
// 04:49 p.m.
[x] Tuesday, January 13, 2004
I realised last night that you've been lying to me for years. You led me astray... Influenced me onto the path I travel now. I was your sheep. Your fucking sheep. I was happy, you know... I though that you were good too me, but in reality you deprived me of even basic human contact. I was so fucking dependent on you. I thought we were the same, but you wer just a fucking liar.
I've been having extreme cases of rage followed by extremely realistic dreams. I've been having a bad week. Sorry if I yell at anyone... I don't, okay, I do really mean it. I'm sick inside and nobody will soothe me. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle Matt and Alli's visit. My dreams have predicted disaster, but we'll see.
For all the help I tried to help Matt get Alli, I can't say that I'm really glad they're getting back together. I liked us all being friends. I liked having no restrictions... Now it's going to back to "don't sit there, Cassie" and "don't talk to him Cassie" and "don't take away his attention Cassie"... Maybe I just won't come home again. // 04:23 p.m.
[x] Sunday, January 11, 2004
I had a dream about the prom and it completely removed ever ounce of rage I felt the previous day out of me... It was wonderful and I woke up feeling fresh and new. I wore my Animal Crossing dress (without hat), my date had on a plaid suit, and Amy Geobel refused to dress up.
Then I dreamt about volcanos! Good old Ted... Hehehe. // 12:12 p.m.
[x] Friday, January 9, 2004
I'm sick. My tummy hurts... And I'm sick of everything. I'm sick of not being enough, of being too much and of just being. I can't live up to your expectations. You won't even let me try. Don't cry from someone to help you if your just going to push them away. I can't stand it anymore. // 05:31 p.m.
[x] Sunday, January 4, 2004
BLue - Purple = -Red
Blah blah blah! Nothing interesting to say.
Everyone of my friends gets a year. I don't have one... i don't care! You can keep your years! I'll take my life!
Um... not in the suicide way. But, I mean, I'll just take it all! Right now! No regrets, no turning back! No expectations! You people worry too much. Name too much. If you name it the Year of Regret, can you really expect it to be something else? Un-name it! Only then will you understand! Only then will you know it's true name! Let come what may... I'm ready! // 11:49 p.m.
[x] Tuesday, December 30, 2003
I hear people complain about all sorts of crap over the years. I've always listened and tried to be understanding. You think this would give me some sort of right to complain a little myself and have someone listen. Well, I came to realize that I was wrong. If I complain it is both annoying and offensive. See if I ever listen to you again!
I'm bored. I'm sitting here, contemplating throwing myself off the deck (It's like 2 feet off the ground) and trying to ignore the pain in my tailbone. I'd sew Kyle's costume, but I still need to measure him. I can't play Gunbound and I can't find The Sims CD. So maybe I'll just stick some metal in the microwave and end it all.
My sister went to LotR... I guess I could have gone again, but I didn't. I really wanna watch PotC! But nobody bought it for me for Christmas... ;__ I am such a sad pirate!
The funny tihng is that you never put so much effort into making plans with me.
// 02:55 p.m.
[x] Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Um... I sort of realized that my previous post may have implied that I want to burn gay people. This, however, is not the case. I love the gays. I wish I was a man and of the gays because my life would be simplified!
My life = x^2 + 4x + 4 = (x+2)^2
See?! Simple!!! // 04:19 p.m.
[x] Sunday, December 21, 2003
Bjork is a crazy woman. I mean, you could string together any number of random words to make a sentence and it might as well be in one of her songs! If you can do it well enough, people will probably be fooled by you. Let's all be Bjork.
Actually, I don't like her so much... I don't really mind her, but I don't feel compelled to elevate her to a place of worship like some of my comrades. She is not a unique or beautiful snowflake, dammit!!!
I really liked Fight Club. My mom didn't, but then I really don't trust her judgement in movies. She likes happy movies. Well, not that I don't like happy movies... But gods, how I hate those romantic comedies. Who made that catagory up? Whoever did deserves to be shot. Ooooh! How sad! Woman and man fight and don't get along! Then they get together! Soooooo happy! It drives me nuts. Maybe I have no heart or something, but those movies never make me feel good. Well, I feel good when the end rolls around, because then I don't have to watch it anymore... Stupid bastard. There's only so many man and woman falling in love stories I can take before I want to die. My quota is -1 per year. I think I'm ahead this year. I can't recall seeing one of those movies at all... And all I can manage to think is "Thank God." ::shrugs:: Can't win them all, eh?
I was just thinking about how one goes about seeing -1 movies. I've decided that it must mean that I successfully aborted an atempt to see one. That is always a good day in my life.
I seem to be rather confused about how I got to this topic in conversation. I could just look back at the beginning of this post, but that would take more effort than I'm willing to exert. I'm going to be Voldo! Did you know? The brown and purple Voldo! I do like him best. Always have. That also makes me think of these, ";", dealies. Alli told me to use them once, but I don't like how they look. She can keep them, along with ":". I'll keep my "," and "!". I have no need for such fancy punctuation! I am but a simple peasent girl, farming away her life. Peasent girls don't need ";", DAMMIT! We like to weave flowers into our hair and embroider. We don't like your fancy things. We don't need plastic!
I need to get in shape or I may lose my farm girl figure... They feed me too well at college. I suppose it's not that I eat more at a meal, but it's that I eat more frequently. At home it's more of a foraging thing... At school, the food is a minute walk from my dorm. It's cooked too! How can I resist going? How can I skip a free meal?! ...Though I did forget to eat for a day and a half at one point! (Don't worry, I don't have eating disorders, I'm just forgetful/busy/crazy.) Sometimes they serve us Saffron Risotto, Shark, Cornish Game Hens, or perhaps Venison. I will say that the Saffron Risotto (I put it in caps because it's like royalty) is the most heavenly thing I've ever had the pleasure of eating. I might use the phase "of putting in my mouth" to replace "of eating", but that would lead no where good in a very hasty fashion... And we all know that there has never been anything put in my mouth and the way things have been going, there never will. I suppose I should be sadder (is that a word?) than what I am, but I'm sure that sometime ago, when I wasn't looking (I had my eyes closed), my mind already accepted it and moved on. So, don't expect me to cry over milk still in the cow. I'm done with such things.
I also think the egg timer went off. My brain must be done. Imagine cracking open someone's head and having eggs come running out? ...That's slightly disturbing. I can't help but think that I'd dig in. Maybe it's because I'm hungry.
Let the Egg Nog (Also royalty... Distant cousin of the Saffron Risotto it self) run through my veins! Oh sweet and heavenly Egg Nog! It's sooooooo thick! And creamy! I love it... Oh how I love it! Christmas without Egg Nog would be like The Sims without all those damn bunnies spawning on my front lawn. It would be like Romio not being romantically involved with the alien named Bob.
You know, it's rather late. I have to get up tomorrow to retrive monies from the bank for our outing. The Outing would be similar to the Witch Hunts. All the gays would be exposed! ...But they weren't really good at finding witches. I don't suppose their gaydar would be up to par either. // 11:54 p.m.
[x] Sunday, December 21, 2003
I hate my life and it makes me hope that you step on glass.
I am Jack's smirking revenge.
I know now that when I talk that each word is a ten pound weight thrown on your back. The more I say, the closer you come to crumbling. So, I won't speak anymore. I'll remain silent and watch. Without my weight holding you down, I'll watch you fly away. // 11:46 p.m.
[x] Friday, December 12, 2003
I hope I never stop thinking that streakers are funny... I think that will mark a sad turn in my life. // 01:17 a.m.
[x] Sunday, December 7, 2003
Um... I think I just described to Matt in vivid detail what would happen if Aragorn had his way with him. Why? Why not! It's 4 A.M., dammit! And I have no idea what's going on... Though I am sure that it somehow involves a penis. // 03:59 a.m.
[x] Sunday, December 7, 2003
Awkward questions #3: How do you take your penis?
Matt: Orally.
C-ko: ...Hard from the behind.
Matt: I guess we all have different tastes.
C-ko: And some of us just think that we're gay men... // 02:05 a.m.
[x] Sunday, December 7, 2003
Another wierd question to ask Matt: ...Do you wanna hear about piercings?
// 12:58 a.m.
[x] Sunday, December 7, 2003
A weird question to ask Matt: Does my penis look okay? // 12:25 a.m.
[x] Thursday, December 4, 2003
I love my A-chan the most... I get to see her again in a little more than a week! I am very happy and joyous!!
Do you even feel uninteresting? I feel that way a lot... So I will distract you from my uniterestingness with a link to one of my favorite MP3 rotation sites! Download now! Moo!
Booooored. // 05:09 p.m.
[x] Sunday, November 30, 2003
The things you said hurt. I'm crying right now because you hurt me. Your words have sliced me open and my blood's pooling on the floor. I know now what I am to you and it has left me empty. I told you I was emtional and unreasonable... I told you that I just needed to rant until it left my system. You said it was okay... You said you would listen. And when I poured out my heart to you, all you heard was the voice of a crying five year old.
I've depend on you a lot. Maybe that was my mistake. I won't cry and whine and complain to you anymore, alright? You don't have to worry about it.
Matt and I cried in the hall last night... Maybe we were both being babbies, but it made us feel a little better and we worked a few things out. When he hugged me, he put all his emotion behind it. It was one of the nicest bone crushing hugs of my life and I hugged him back just as fiercely... It's nice to get a hug sometimes.
I'm claming down now... Trying not to think about it.
I'm sorry we didn't hang out after your play. You said that you would be out late. That's why I asked you about it. So, I let it go... I told you to have a good time and that I had to leave. Did you expect me to stay online for hours at my aunt's house talking to you about plans that we couldn't make? It was regrettable, but don't be mad at me for it. It's not like I won't be back for Christmas.
It's your move now. I didn't say those things, so I don't have to answer for them. This is all you, deary... // 09:48 p.m.
[x] Tuesday, November 18, 2003
By using a varriety of words, it is easier to lure people here. The innocently run a search for "Dancing Pilgrams and Indians" and end up here. And then they're trapped! Like a fly on that sticky paper thingy! YEAH! You'll never escape one I've got a hold on you!
Right, so, my Japanses teacher went to an aquarium in Japan and at one point they have a "penguin parade" where they let out all the penguins and they walk around the aquarium. After you get to feed them. Takahashi-sensei, being a big fan of penguins, gets in line to feed them, and that's how he discovered that penguins like blue. He was wearing a blue shirt, and for some reason the penguins were all coming to him. All the little kids were sad... And when his fish was gone, they started to bit at his blue shirt. He didn't want it to get ruined, so he rolled up the sleeves... And the penguins started biting him arms. So, his bleeding a little and the little kids are crying and screaming because he's being attacked by penguins and all he can say about it is that it made him happy because it was like the penguins were comunicating with him.
I like lunch at the Japanese Table... It's so random!
I need someone to tell me what's wrong with me... I can't see my own flaws, you know? I can only see myself in a mirror. I'm backwards. How do I look forward? How I see myself and how I am must be jsut as opposite. So, could you please tell me what's wrong with me?
I get to have a website dealy! A-chan got a domain! It's something that begins with a C.org... Oh, Cyanotic. And she said that she would host me or something! What should I put there? ::ponders::
I share A-chan's veiw. I'm sooooooo not creative motivated lately. It really makes me want to cry...
It's kind weird hearing her use the word "boyfriend". It's also rather ironic because I'm sure everyone thought that I would have a boyfriend before A-chan... Or they just thought of me as a cuting little being with no inclination that way. It's not true, you know. I've always wanted a person to take care of me, who I could take care of too. Someone who could completely cuddle my little self. I've always also known that it was impossible. I don't really see myself as someone who's good dating material. I don't think I have enough to offer. I had a boyfriend once, but I couldn't figure out how to make a relationship work... I don't think I ever will be able to. So, I've resigned myself to dying alone, untouched.
(Sorry, that was my random man-less rant... It seems to happen slightly often these days! I put it at the bottom so that you could read the important stuff first.) // 11:28 p.m.
[x] Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Prince Charming stared down at the fair Sleeping Beauty, admiring the enchanting beauty of his lovely princess. He leaned down to deliver the kiss that would return her to the world of awakening then peered at her gentle face, anxious for signs of life. His vigilance was rewarded as she stirred slightly and her eyes began to drift open... And then blood poured out of her vacant eye sockets.
The End.
The moral of the story is, "Never show a bear your Kit Kat."
// 11:16 p.m.
[x] Sunday, November 16, 2003
When taking on a disguise, you must truly become that person. You must be the small girl with the sweet face and puppy dog eyes, "Please don't shoot me... *sniff*" You must be the experience fighter, "Shoot now, ask later." You must be the innocent that nobody expects. And in the end, you must be the victor. You must believe through and through or you will slip halfway up the ladder. You will near the end of the gauntlet and falter. Then you will fall and the lions will be upon you. Never fail! Never falter! Always win!
-- C-ko's Rules for Life and Assassination
...I’m definitely going to enjoy this game waaaaay too much.
// 05:59 p.m.
[x] Friday, November 14, 2003
// 02:20 p.m.
[x] Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Okay! No fear! I fix!
I've been busy like death... And I've pretty much lost NaNoWriMo! I weep... In the night when it's dark!
Um... If you're that person who offered to host me, I didn't ignore you! I swear! I was really busy with no time for fun and by the time I had time for reply, AOL deleted my e-mail... I hate AOL. So... Sorry, I guess. I feel mean... // 05:53 p.m.
[x] Wednesday, November 12, 2003
...Something really weird seems to be happening to my webpage! ::fears:: // 05:52 p.m.
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