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Deep Thoughts by .. me! '.' b
so yeah is there some unwritten rule that i can't get back with any of my ex-bfs?!? what the hell. the rwo that wanted to get back with me i din want so now, karma comes and takes a succulent chunk out of my ass, because the one whom i would like to get back with (for 2 years mind you), *hullo* doesn't apparently ever see that happening, not by any doing of mine because i never said such a thing apparently he thinks so tho. and i guess not confirming anything with me by not talking tome doesn't exactly help matters either. i'd give up the brad pitt mission fer this boi, 'seen?!
am i mad?
hells yeah i'm mad.
is it my fault?
I'll say 80% of it is and the other 20% is for chance and circumstance. it wasn't his fault @ all but i get mad just thinking about how it all went down because it so could have been avoided. AHHHHHHHH!
life sucks.
on a lighter note, i got nu monkey slippers today. there bloo wif a liddo monkey named julius on them. he's koo. he reminds me of my friends jane's bf julius. wahngsohngee ! he's funny. so yeah there i vented and used my hyde blog again coz apparently i don't use it enough and ppl want to complain *coughcough*
and with that, i'm outtie 5000.
jun aka B.C.
p.s. awesome song by the dobster, even tho her name is whack, lub the lyrics a lot.
p.p.s i don't believe in breaks. either your together or not. *nods, pleased with self.* kee, i'm dun for realz now.
Your halo's slipping down @07:13 p.m. on Thursday, January 15, 2004
I Heart Music
new group....
Kill Hannah
check 'em out. who knu a random free sampler could turn me on to this kick ass, synth-pop, galm rock band, twith a hot lead singer (Mat Devine) who looks 12, but is 29! folks, it doesn't get any better than this.
by the by, if u do, d/l either Kennedy or From Now On
jun.
Your halo's slipping down @12:57 a.m. on Saturday, January 10, 2004
Happy New Year
so it's 2 0 0 4... thanks and many blessings to superpowers that let me survive another year. A lot of my family and a couple friends of mine weren't so fortunate and shall be missed. no doubt. a great belated birthday to my GHOST because i was comatose that week. *squeeze*. sorry for being so late.
i haven't seen any of my yazuka, save the usual 2, jia and toki, 4eva joined @ the hip. i miss yous all soo very much, but educating myself is taking up a lot of my time these days. i was never much of a blogger to being with. but still i apologize for my absence and all the play i missed. *boo*
jah.. soh what's nu? 1.i have a 2-day class that starts 2morrow. i read a 175 pg book in 2.5 hours, so mow i set for class. yay me!
2. acute white boi drama, but its all good coz if he's not careful he will catch a cap in the arse and i won't avoid vital organs this time...
3. gonna try to email everyone i missed over the long time it takes me to blog. that's all fer now.
-jun.
Your halo's slipping down @01:10 a.m. on Tuesday, January 6, 2004
Soul'd Out
so yeah still as busy as ever... had exams.. waxed 'em, dun now. very happy =D
*c o n f e t t i*
so yeah, lately i've been spending my late nights over @ my boy Andrew's place where, i have been helping with his whole music thang. nuttin' big they needed a back up singer, so hopefully i'll be filling that position. don't really want lead, coz i'm the type of person who likes the background sometimes, ya dig? * okee i kno a million ppl are rolling their eyes right now, but ne wayz* 'sides they already have to girl leads, who needs a 3rd? and i lub reena and francis. they can sing ever soo goood. i like their songs too, but i digress.
so yeah the aforementioned song * look up!* was actually written by Andrew in High School and it's my favorite song ever. ish sooo sweet, n i'm actually listening to it in my brain. hehehe. yeah coz andrew's the only one who hasn't recorded yet. i think their changin the name of the group too, and i also think i have practice to nite, but i think i can't go coz there's this massive welcome home party for a lot of ppl in nB, coming back from Georgia(Shire) and Japan(Pagel), which is niftyjiggybeans, coz shire's the only whai boi i kno with the ill undulation * move ya body like a snake, pa*.
okee i kno i'm corny.
CONGRATULATIONS TO MR. and MRS. CHUN HAE something er other. i dun think i ever knu chun hae's last name, but congrats to him n lisa nehow. their babe's gonna b be yoo ti fuhl. 'especially if she's west indian. ;D.
laytes
Your halo's slipping down @02:11 p.m. on Tuesday, December 23, 2003
KP's 22nd Birthday
so yeh. today's KP's birthday... aka Christopher.. aka my former/future everything. yeh, i said it. so, he has a girlfriend now. in the words of Peter "P.Diddy" Paik, "you can't lose faith." Ya, kno? Propz out to Diddy too, because he helped make the worst week of my life todate, turn out pretty okee by helping find a record for C|X this past sunday. *Thanks to everyone who was cheering for me!* even though i heard teh sound guy was a faukin moron and Diddy was bou tot shoot him coz he couldn't hear my voice over the track @ one point. hehehe
yeh, so i pulled double duty @ C|X on sunday dancing and singing. aren't i a talented lil' thing? enuff bout me tho. let's get to the meat of this entry shal we:
Christopher. My Pookabear. and u kno what He's always gonna BE my pookabear coz i ain't callin' kno one else that. that's his name, the good and the bad of it, damnit. shit, yo. i dun only one bad thing to you in my lifetime, but it was enuff wasn't it. can't tell you how much i regret that. not that u want to even hear it, or ever will, unless Ji Sun oppa makes u read it. or you randomly surf.. iunno. i'm rambling now. HAPPY BITRTHDAY POOKA B! and even tho you're celebrating it with her (no manevolence, i promise), yet another thing i was never allowed to do, i hope you have a wonderful 22nd birthday. hopefull by the time you're 30, i can finally give you that present i've been meaning to give yah.;D I love you and I hope you have a kick-ass day.
see i can be an adult on occassion, raiii? though i will probably be biatchin to tokes lata bout said izto facto, etc. etc. etc. what yall kno about that! hehehehe
Finally to close with a song.
Yellowcard - Only One
Broken this fragile thing now
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
Made my mistakes, let you down
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
Here I go so dishonestly
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
***yeah don't entirely agree wit dat line... yakno.
this is me being sappy. werd.
-B.C.
Your halo's slipping down @12.01 a.m. on Thursday, November 20, 2003
Won't You Come Down
i should been completing my essay.. instead i'm blogging. i figured hey, i'm not sleeping to tonite ne how so why not?
First Topic of Discussion I'm a complete douche bag. I fugre that's why I'm probably never gonna be happy in a relationship in forever. Sure, i'll have a kick-ass career and an awesome wardbrobe and a bangin' body, but really... waht's all that if all u deal with is assholes fer the rest of your life?
once upon a midnite dreary, someone reminded me that i have a heart and that i am , in fact, capable of using to feel. alas, those days have long passed b/c i'm a fukin douche bag. but yeah, for all my failures in life, i never blame ne one but myself [I'm not really into passing the buck too much unless it's blatently obvious it's not my fault]. And damn the fact i ultimately ended that shit, it's the only thing to this day in my life i regret. And no one, including myself will let me forget it. Everytime I think about it, it just gets worse and worse. Because i overanalyze eery maa-fukin thing. an I... it just bothers me. I kinna wish I had a time machine coz I never would dun it. But, u kno wha? Poop on me because, it's my loss. so yeah, I just hope seriously that his current significant other can handle him with EXTREME care. Because even if, he doesn't care, I do. and I still run up in somebody if she thinks she's in over her head and tries to bail. So she'll get beatdown and if Minnie unni's there, hey, I'll get a beatdown too. sawl good tho.
In Other News: Hafta find a nu song to sing on Sunday. can't find the instrumental to the Tamia joint, and Diddy can't do it coz he's gotta play fo like 3 other ppl that day. Busy Busy Diddy. I aslo think I left my glasses @ Dance Practice tonite when I put my contacts in. I always seem to lose something @ SERC. -_-;;
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 'sides life suckin a big fat one, i need some major release rai now. Can't wait for snowboarding season to start. I can smell the fresh powder all ready. Gets my mind offa thangs, being at the top of a mountain, zooming down, with music blaring in my ears as i swiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh down.
all i need right now is release. i can't find it in any forms given unto me now. not dance not singing. nothing.
...sweet r e l e a s e...
i think i'll go write a poem now.
.jun.
Your halo's slipping down @04:52 a.m. on Thursday, November 13, 2003
aite... time to blog
speaking of girls.. Dave has onE! Dave is the cutest, most driven person i have ever met... he doesn't kno i'm writing this but, he's sitting on the floor studying rai now as i type it... hahaha...oh yeah i have a nu obession ... this guy is soooo faukin hillarious... he's cracks on everyone no matter creed, race or colour... you're all fair game. and don't hate coz he's a minority too, so it doesn't bother me @ all. i find this shit hillarious. hopefully u will too.
on to other things, my cousin was laid to rest today... *sniff*...
on a lighter note, OrangePants wrote a song for a girl and will be singing it @ a show we're doing. I hope she accepts him, but @ the same time i hope she doesn't b/c he deserves someone that will really appreciate him, not that she won't, but u kno what i'm saying...
in other news, toki now hates KP's chiq as much as i don't appreciate her. unfortunately, i can't hate ne one i haven't met, so in toki's words i hate her "by 10%, of which that number will either stay constant or increase" puhahaha. troo nuff. i just hope she knows what she's got herself into b/c if given the chance I would gladly do it again, and i dun care if i gotta catch like 8 gajillion beatdownz from Minnie to get there ya heard?!?!
jun.
Your halo's slipping down @02:12 a.m. on Tuesday, November 11, 2003
vitae
So i finally picke da song to sing @ C|X on November 16th, 2003 @ Busch Student Center, Rutgers University. jyeah. i started working on it yesterday @ Dave's in haus studio. aka the basement.... keke
stressed like whoa dis week: had a project due monday, a paper and an exam on tuesday, work all night on wenesday, and that leaves us @ thursday. i also had KDT practice yesterday but didn't find out about it until about 6:00 in the evening soi couldn't go. then we have practice tonight, too. i'm really getting stressed about danceteam coz we only have 2 weeks to complete a dance, and i have mad shit to do ,too. i feel like i'm slacking but @ the same time, it's not like i'm just sitting @ home on my ass u kno? i love to dance but i honestly don't think we're gonna be prepared. i guess i should have faith in us, but whatever. imma sound fly ne wayz singin that Tamia sing.
jun.
Your halo's slipping down @01:15 p.m. on Thursday, November 6, 2003
yet another sad event....
Yolande Makeba Dyer
07.28.81 - 11.03.03
so my cousin dies yesterday and no one knows why. they say she was complaining of chest pains and went to the hospital... she was only ONE year older than me...
we grew up together in Bklyn, when i used to live out there. Then i moved and still kept visiting till we grew distant.. i started runnin track and started chillen with her older sister more... but the n she went to art school in GA. she could rip a watercolour painting sick, yo. imma miss her like cragee. i wish i saw her the last itme she was up here.
see u when i get there, Yo.
jun.
Your halo's slipping down @05:41 p.m. on Tuesday, November 4, 2003
blur
my halloween was a b l u r. i have a lot of wok to do so i'll fill u in later.
pC.
Your halo's slipping down @11:22 p.m. on Sunday, November 2, 2003
M A D E
yeah so i have to sing or attempt to sing in this show later on this month... thing is , i can 't sing in front o mass crowds of ppl coz iunno for some reason i get nervous. so now i being made into this non-nervous person. weeeee ! can someone say disaster waiting to happen? *ooh! OOH! me! i can!
jun
Your halo's slipping down @07:02 p.m. on Tuesday, October 21, 2003
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( Layout )
Version 4 features the lovely and sexy vocalist, Hyde from L'arc~en~ciel fame. Picture was found from a random search, the words come from A Perfect Circle's song The Noose and the lyrics came from Lyric Spot. Brushes from one of the sites listed here. Edited in Photoshop 7 by Toki.
( The weight of the Halo )
nomen | |chelle aka [Jun]
( 36 Moons Inc. )
Jia Li :Tokyo A
( to the Dead )
KP and Sunnie | | Quietly Screaming
( make amends )
( fan of )
( you cast your Demons out )
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