With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Friday, May 24, 2002 at 11:48 p.m.

:*:*:Today:*:*:
YEEK!! OMG ! Chris & Trent got me a birthday present.. and chris brought it by my house tonight.. it has to be the singlemost cutest bear i have ever seen.! its a big brown soft teddy bear =*0) I luff em both for it. its completely adorable!

So.. I dont really know what else to say! hehe. school is almost out.. thank God. i am going to be a pool rat =0) i know, how .. non-attractive that sounds.. but i really dont care? i just want to swim. =0/ swim all afternoon.. talk all night *whew* 100% fun! LOL well.. I'm out. . talking to roooooooooooob <--blaaaaahhhhh

me.

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 09:58 p.m.

:*:*wait, im trying to picture you naked*:*:
Hehe. well, nevermind that. anyways. i had a conversation with my black sister =0) we were talking about sex and each of our perfect dates.. so here goes mine :
".. you know.. it will be perfect.. a picnic blanket... stars above us.. grass below us.. soft mood music... that :*perfect*: guy.. hot july night.. everything will be perfect"
Wow, right? I know you guys can all picture it =0) I know i can.
i read the best book ever.. its called Wifey and its by Judy Blume. Yes, there were some sexual scenes.. yea, it was graphic.. but the book was awesome. the ending.. was a complete suprise.. its all about a woman.. who's husband is so boring and anal retentive ((Chicken on Wednesdays Sex on Saturdays)) and she starts getting bored.. so she fantasizes about the plumber and her ex-b/f.. hooks up with her brother-in-law, her ex, her bestfriends husband, etc. and she ends up getting hurt.. but the end is so completely romantic.. i totally loved the end. anyways.. enough wtih the book review right?
I've been.. kind of thinking about this one friend of mine.. who is really great. ((who knows why im bloggin' bout him)) i haven't mentioned it to anyone.. ((sep't Tisha LOL)) and i doubt i'd act on it... because.. well.. i doubt he knows ((oblivious. oi LOl)) and.. it doesnt matter. whatever ((hey, i can always hope, right?))

so anyways.. like.. 2 days of school left before i can officially become a pool rat. Augh i cant wait. i want to go to the pool... i wanna swim. yeesh. well.. i really do have to sleep.. i have a biology exam tomorrow.. then.. speed and gameboy for the rest of the day *giggle*
MADDDD Love,
Melinda
Tisha: "Mindy, when you 2 get around each other.. its like there is nobody else in the world.. just the 2 of you.. "
Me:"wouldnt it be great if everything you said was true?"

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 10:57 p.m.

{[-TeStDoM-]}
Well.. I took sum tests.. here are the results.. *blush* teehee i knew these would be the answers hehehe LOL

mad love
me



Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty

Are you a ho? Find out @ She's Crafty

Which Hacker's Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty
Here's the description for the princess:
You love to be pampered and romanced by your men and things like cuddling by a fire, having an intimate meal, or having a long, deep conversation can always put you in the mood. Sex to you is usually more about the man your with than the act itself. Not a one-night stand kind of girl, newness and disconnectedness just don't do it for you. The mature, stable men you prefer to date appreciate your loyalty and big heart, but they especially love the way you inspire their more aggressive, protective masculine side.
*sigh* so me.. right? hehe

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Tuesday, May 21, 2002 at 10:17 p.m.

:*:*:horrible:*:*:
Am i a horrible friend? I feel like it......! I talked to a friend of mine.. and usually hes all.. fun to talk to.. i guess i just take the goofy friends for granted. he never seems sad.. or angry.. and.. today he just seemed like completely not himself.... and i dont know what happened. but now i feel like a sucky friend! i wish i knew what happened?! good grief! this cannot happen again. losing another friend would be serious termoil, esp. him, b/c he really is a sweet guy . UGH!

like what... 4 days left of school? i am so freakin glad.. but so not glad. so anyways.. i've got to get going... i must go contemplate what the deal is.. ((its kinda hard when the person you want to talk to isnt there.....))

love,
me

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Monday, May 20, 2002 at 10:15 p.m.

{[-well..-]}
Well.. I watched Clueless today. It reminded me of all the funtimes i has a long time ago. it also made me think about how i would really like a "josh" type friend.. i dunno? someone i could joke around with? whatever. it doesnt matter.

its not like anything i want actually happens. minus the whole navel thing .. well... this is the last week of school.. so i'll be bloggin much longer entries.. b/c i'll have time to think and write.. believe me i have alot on my mind... *sigh*
mad love
melinda

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 09:44 p.m.

{[-surffay-]}
1.)what did your clever parents name you?(in full version, thanks much) Melinda Maria =0)

2.)if you had any say whatsoever in what you would be named, what would you have named yourself? i like my name, thanks tho

3.)-for meat eaters-when at bbq's, what do you prefer on your hot dog? ketchup, mustard, grey poupon, relish, sourkraut, or OTHER? well, i absolutely hate hotdogs.. but if it was a hamburger.. i'll say.. ketchup mustard and mayo

4.)what is your overall opinion of veggie burgers? EXPLAIN. eew yucky .. and yea, i've had one.. and they arent fun to eat. lol

5.)how do you like to dance at dance clubs or school dances? do you get down with your funky self? We dont have school dances.. but i can get down with my funky self! LOL

6.)is the purpose of going to a dance to sit down the entire time talking to your friends OR searching around for a cute dance partner and having a damn good time? Having a damn good time

7.)where do you see yourself in 20 years? well... in 20 years i'll be 36? so i'll be a successful veterinarian.. living with my wonderful husband ^__^ with sum kids. not too many.. but not just one.. unless birth is really painful.. then i'll be like "n/m you can be a spoiled only child." -.-;;; lol!!!! in a big house... with a white picket fence.. and a dog.. and sum cats... goodtymz. =0)

8.)what kind of relationship are you looking for or currently in? I really dont know what im looking for anymore.

9.)are you really really really sexy? um.. no

10.) and is sugar ray only really sexy? mark mcgrath is hot.

11.) let's say that two days from now the world were to end...what would you spend your last hours doing? (FULL DETAIL PLEASE) i dont know? LOL i'd probably go out and have some fun. pierce my tongue and my navel.. and... hit a few people... tell :+:a certain someone:+: how i feel 'bout em.... and... just have a good time

12.)if you could change a character flaw, which would you change and why? my patience level

13.)how do you consider your place within society? My place in society? im that girl that nobody really notices

TYPE THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND WHEN YOU SEE THESE WORDS:
14.)trance: Hypnotized
15.)yellow: & black
16.)paneling: Wood
17.)pebble: stone
18.)portal: of darkness
19.)crochet: isnt that the game with the mallets?
20.)cocoa: hot chocolate.. whipped cream.. marshmallows... *sigh*

YOUR NICHE/KARASS: are you saying i have a nice ass?
21.)"best friend" has become a superficial term over the years, so how would you describe your closest friends and how much they mean to you. My closest friends know who they are.. they're the ones that make me laugh.. and the *one* who i can go to the smithsonian with!! ("it was just that one thing i SWEAR!!" LOL Royal!) i have a bond with them.. something that i really cant explain.. its just like... they know wha tim about to say! ("AOL 7.0 Rocks!!!" Ally, you know you were thinking the same thing!!! LOLOLOlOLOLOLOL)) the ones who i dance with.. act goofy with.. and i can be myself around...

22.)what annoys you about people in general? backstabbers. hypocrits. people who call me up and don't say anything.. and when my friends act weird.. and i get all worried 'bout em

23.)are you sterotyped? i have blonde hair. draw your own conclusions

24.)what do you enjoy doing best with friends on a friday night? i usually dont do anything on friday nights

25.) do you prefer short talk or deep conversations? deep conversations about nothing! ^__^ its the best way to get to know someone

26.)who can you spill your feelings to and feel completely relieved afterwards? umm... not anyone really

27.)how would you describe yourself in relation to others? Im just that girl that nobody really notices.. im jsut kind of there

28.)do you like double dares and flash light tag? who doesnt!?!?!?

29.)if your friends were transformed into animals, what would they be? alright... Royal would probably be a lioness (LMAOOOOOOOOO =0X!!!) because of her little "rowr" thing.. hehehehehehe =0)=0) Ally would be a Panda =0) I would be a tiger... ((much like tigger.)) tiffany would be.. a ... well, duh? a mouse =0)=0) robin would be.. hmm... a RABBIT!!!!!!!!!!! =0D!!!!!!!!!!!! Lee would be a penguin. ((i dont relaly know why............ LOL)) i could see jacob as a .. hmm.. well.. i see him as Toad from super mario brothers.. lol James.. i could see him as a teddy bear(heheeh)and tisha .. as a white girl. =0X!

30.)what's a quote that means a lot to you or represents you or your outlook on life? well.. let me take a couple.. first.. a musical "somebody get me out of here.. im tearing at myself.. nobody gives a damn about me.. or anybody else" and of course.. "the wonderful thing about tiggers.. is tiggers are wonderful things! their tops are made out of rubber.. their bottoms are made out of springs.. they're bouncy trouncy trouncy bouncy funfunfunfunfun! the wonderful thing about tiggers.. is im the only one!" and my motto for life
"I'm more frightened everyday.. that someone will take the hope i have away."


well, wasnt that enjoyable?
madlove,
me

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 12:47 a.m.

{[-here.i.am-]}
and there i went. so whats new? i found a great site for games

www.chosun.com/service/land

I know its in korean.. but the games are easy to figure out. bomb and the one with the frog are my favourites. hehe
well, i'm a big ol' loser. dont you know? i like that though. i need to redo my page... because all ym stuff on AOL got deleted... im just too lazy to do it. oh well im going to be playin' games now.. so i'll see you all later
crazy love,
melinda

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 11:56 p.m.

{[-well, there it went-]}
well there my birthday went. sweet 16. yippie skippie. sorry imnot more excited. its just another day to me. anyways.. my mom said i could get my navel pierced!!!!!! AAHHHHHHHH i cant wait to go get it done. i'll probably go june-ish. hopefully. i dont know. im trying to convince her for earlier. but i doubt it will happen. anyways.. nothing interesting has been happening lately.. i'vejust been... here... i have a Pounding headache. im pissed off... and thinking about stuff

English: we read a story.. about this chinese girl who ends up getting set up by this old lady. it was sad b/c the stuff this "ugly girl" would say was stuff that i think! talkinga bout being alone. and Lord knows that i think 'bout stuff like that. i know. im 16. why do i need to think 'bout stuff like that? well .. i dont know

i need to re-do the site. i lost all my files.. dammit. anyways.. i gotta flip.

mad love
melinda

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 01:01 a.m.

{[-Hell.No.-]}
I took some quizzes ((see entry below for my rant)) and here was the outcome :

Who are YOU most like?

Yea HAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAA Mindy got the canadian. AAHHHHAAAAHAAAAHAAA <--loud sarcastic laughter. i dont want to hear it from any of yun'z guys . ((ESP : tweedledumb and tweedle-idiot aKA : James and Jacob <--oh no.)) at lunch. Even though i am sweet and all ;0)

Find your emotion!

Which Kiss Are You?

Wait.. Wait.... Wait... Now... im woe.. but im a sweet kiss on the cheek???? WAHT!? so.. im full of inner woe? oi. dun get it

Oh... No... Well, i couldnt resist having them say "LITTLE WHITE GIRL" thru the computer.. but apparently.. im not ... you best be checkin' dis out -->

I am 81-100% Ghetto

I am GHETTO FABULOUS.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAH so there. i think it was the frosted flakes that put meh over the edge. LOL well im out for now. my rant is below this.

Crazy-Mad-Passionate-Love,
Melinda
".. Can we just pretend the log was there? and then divide?"

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 09:41 p.m.

{[-Oi the Day-]}
Wow it was all funfilled yippie skippie.. then i camehome. My dad asked me what i wanted for his birthday. i said a car. im gonna be 16, what else should i ask for? i want a car dammit! LOL so.. then he tells me "nonono, i cant give you the car danew ants it too" well.. first off.. dane is my step-brother, second.. he isnt even related to my dad.. third.. he doesnt even LIKE my dad.. and fourth, well.. i asked first. he ALWAYS DOES THIS. he treats them better than he does us! ((FYI : us= me and my brother)) so anyways. He treats them ((FYI: them=Lindsey, dane and carmen)) like they are his first priority. like um, hello? hi? remember me? daughter over here? its not even about the car. its about everything. he treats them with more importance. my mom wrote him an email, he wrote back sayin' how.. he treats all "the kids" fair and how he thinks i should earn a car.. and how the chevelle turns like a boat and takes a football field to stop. and well.. his definition of "fair" sucks. his definition of Fair means being mean to his biological children. he ALWAYS does this. THEY get to pick where to go. if THEY dont want to go where WE want to go then WE go where THEY go. its neverending. that manipulative bitch has got him wrapped around her fingers ((FYI: manipulative bitch= step-mother)) so screw that whole "family" i hope hes happy. well, he traded in a 16 year old daughter and got hisself a 16 year old son. just like back in the day. sons were better. dane will end up having access to that car. and he can kiss my ass. all of them. whatever. it just totally made me sad that he lumped me and matthew into the same catergory as them. its not fair. im NOT them. they arent his children. Yea, we moved to GA.... so? if my mom and dad were still married id have "access" to one of the cars in the driveway. so whatever

i hope he is happy with his new life. Him and his "little woman" and 3 children and his cars and his tools and his little knicknacks and their storebought dinner. because i dont want to be a part of it. im tired of being second best. well, third best. because OF COURSE hes attached at the hip to his little woman ((swear to God: shes like.. growing out of his pocket or soemthing)) and then of couse i play second fiddle to those horrible step-folk. whatever. Well, at least i have one less place to go this summer.

i know everyones like "damn, all this over a car?" but it isnt even like that. its not about the car. the car, i knew i wouldnt get. all he had to say was "its too big of a car for you" but he went off on a tangent about how it was toooo big and how it would be unfair to the other kids. so im sick of knowing that im gonna be second ((third)) place for my dad. so whatever whateverwhatever ((if you hadn't noticed i do that when im angry ..))

Wow, Happy Birthday To Me. ((what a way to be happy on your birthday right? knowing that you arent as important to your own family as you thought you were?)) Damn. If im not that important to him.. my family. who am i important to?

me.

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 08:56 p.m.

{[-ehhh shutup-]}
LOL i dunno why i said that.. I'm watching saturday night live.. hehehe its not as good as it used to be.. oh well.
so i got into an arguement with chris... blahblahblah.. whatever. it doesnt matter to me anymore.
carson daly is a major tool! hes gay! LMAOOOO i love ally she is such a sweetie! laaaam0r!!! whoa.. anyways.. i just watched bambi rap.. and. it was ODD!!!
so..... i had a boring day.. i went hiking in this horrible park.. i mean.. i had to.. and i love trenty for telling me about it.. but i absolutely hate nature. and it wasnt fun. im like.. well.. its time for a mall project. hehe
well...... i actually am having a fun conversation now.. so i guess ill blog later.. happy mothers day

love,
melinda

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 11:33 p.m.

{[-today-]}
Well, now i am prepared to write an entry.. at 12:51 AM.. oi. well anyways.. i'm just sitting here thinking.. BTW thx maki for fixing my stupid thing. anyways.
thinking about....... who knows what anymore? i agree with trenty. i do feel out of place and strange. strange, kinda like what i wrote in my notebook "like one of those circus freaks that they throw peanuts at" So Laura doesnt trust me anymore.. she ((in basic)) blamed me for everything. everything she told me that i shouldnt have told her mom.. and that she doesnt have trust for me anymore. that i ran and told my mom.. so.. i pretty much feel completely sucky about that whole sitch. completely sucky doesnt even begin to describe it... completely..engulfed.. with.. anger? at.. me. and everyone is like "oh you couldnt have done anything to change her mind." but i believe i could have............... oh well..
the deliver the dis of the second is
Hey flat chest, your tuna is inadequate.
hehe. ah well.. so anyways... H2B is my new phrase. "Heavens 2 Betsy" heeeeelllll yes! because.. old people say the most awesome things.. hehehe
i'm about to get the junk scared out of me.. no.. not just because im watching "the bluebird cafe" but freddy is on!yeek! hehehe i just watched a robot hand kill some guy! Awesome hehehehehe
well anyways.. im actually having an interesting conversation.. so i'll blog more tomorrow..
love much,
melinda

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 12:50 a.m.

{[-New-]}
New Updated Blog.. isnt it pretty? i got the inspiration from my glorious program "deliver the dis" plus, i felt blue today. =0) ii'll be adding things and taking things out.. but now.. i must go.. i have leaf collecting to do tomorrow.. how... fun! *cheesey grin* i am watching a comedian.. lol she said what i think "i love caller id becase i'll never have to talk to the people i hate again!!" LOL well, expect more later.. i am so dead tired, and being ignored! i hate that! =0P
mad crazy WMS ;0)
me

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Friday, May 10, 2002 at 11:51 p.m.