Hey-Changing Again-Cheshire Cat Themed... My Idol. Cheshire Cat.. ((and tinkerbell..)) You're stuck staring att hat gorgeous picture of the cat. if you live nearme.. ask to see the one i drew.. it looks pretty good.. not exactly like that other one tho.. well, parting is such sweet sorrow.. so i say goodnight till it be morrow. allow me to quote sarah mclaughlin:
"will we burn in heaven as we do here"
-me.


Suprise Party.. Drinks.. Drinks.. Drinks.. Car Ride..
Wahoo. I'm home now. Car Rides are NOT fun. Okay.. So we had a suprise party for my g'pa (papa) yesterday. It was fun.. it was so awkward tho.. stressfull.. especially when your bitchy cousin brings her 3 year old. *shudder* children hate me. and i do not enjoy their company. i dont have the patience.. anyways.. my uncle talked to my brother.. but not to me. so he can whatever. and... that little girl hung all over my brother. speaking of hungover *wink wink* this good girl had 3 (count em three) drinks .. 2 rums...andcoke.. (is that a word? rums?) well whatever i had 2. and they were mm good.. then.. crownroyal and 7up. i was like Wooo Party! LOL nah i wasnt drunk... well.. not really. . i guess. =0O~! today however... i was not good. my stomach is killing me... it has been sunny all day.. and i've been sitting in a car.ahhh gag me. anyways in other news.

anyways.... i gotta get going... ill write more later

mad love
me

I fell through the looking glass on Sunday, July 28, 2002 At 10:20 p.m. and nobody caught me.


-->located in VA<--
yea im in VA now.. joy. im giving jamesy a hard time but he knows i luv him./ anyways... i hate stupid jeans. i hate them. i lost all this weight ((listen to me.. im saying it like i lost 50 llbs on the slim fast diet)) and i went up a size!!! how does that work out!? Well.. VA is making me evil.. i should really get going.. i'll blog later tho .... sigh.
me.

I fell through the looking glass on Sunday, July 21, 2002 At 10:21 p.m. and nobody caught me.


->today<-
Today we started moving.. We packed up allooottt of stuff.. and now its all over at the new house. Anyways.. this isnt what my entry is about..

Well.. Lets see.. Everyday since I moved here.. I've worked on my attitude.. my makeup-skills.. my dancing.. my people skills.. and I've always tried to perfect them. I keep changing myself and adapting to whatever life throws at me. Only.. it seems im doing this work for nothing. I always feel like I'm that girl that nobody takes a second glance at.. like always though. I get used to the background tho. I guess Im just a bitch? maybe its just because I'm too shy, .. or .. I just don't have the right look.. I think thats it. Can anyone be that perfect looking girl? Seriously! I worked so hard to become who I am now.. I changed everything.. and still... Nothing. I can't satisfy anyones tastes, not even my own. I hate who I see when I look in the mirror.. All of these things make me wonder.. How muc more am I going to have to change myself for someone to truely to love me, the way i love them, for who I am.

-me

I fell through the looking glass on Friday, June 28, 2002 At 12:19 a.m. and nobody caught me.


->unhinged.letting.go<-
this music is sucking my mind out.. and making me so sad.. im wrapped up in this music.. i think i may cry.. sometimes "what could have been" enters my brain.. and i hate it.. anyways..
"when all of the strength and all of the courage come and lift me from this place, i know i can love you much better than this.. full of grace."
well... i suppose i should get back to my conversations.... hehe i watched this comedian.. and i need what he said he needs
"what you need is a really big fat guy in a too tight tuxedo and a top-hat that lives in your closet and jumps out when you are about to do something stupid and goes.. MIISSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKEE!!!!"

wouldnt that be great? i need one. so im now hiring fat guys.. BYOTH! (bring your own top hat) hehe .. well we are begining to move tomorrow... yippie skippie.. im still waiting aruond for that perfecto guy.. as in: David Lagos. ((WHOA now.. that.. is one... perfect guy.. too bad hes like 20-somethin)) stupid age. stupid perfect soap opera guys! man. i need to go audition for one of those hehe.. anyways.. gotta jet.

mad love,
me.

I fell through the looking glass on Wednesday, June 26, 2002 At 12:27 a.m. and nobody caught me.


->Fly Away From Here<-
*yawn* heavens to betsy. apparently i am a horrible person. Bullshit. i always try to be there. i'd die for anyone that asked me to. so.. thats over. =0D! hehe once someone has made me cry im kinda out of tears.. so im just giggling over this entire conversation. its all crap. ah well. anyways...
supermodels.. interesting. they have to be like.. 5'8" and.. weigh 108 to 125 pounds.. how LOVELY! i am not putting up how much i weigh. its getting harder to lose weight.. i dont know why. i lost 3 pounds. i think im just going to cut out the middle man and stop eating junk food.. or.. food in general. who knows. i hate to eat sometimes.. but i cant help it.. hehehe. i love junk food. hehe. well.. its like song says : Im gonna be a supermodel.. and everyone is gonna dress like me.. wait and see.. when im a supermodel.. and my hair will shine like the sea.. and everyone.. will wanna look.. just like me." hehehe. ah well.. well thats about all i have to say.. im relatively in a good mood.. besides that song by collective soul.. that really makes me sad... =*0( anyways.. gotta flip

MAD love
-moi.

I fell through the looking glass on Tuesday, June 25, 2002 At 12:55 a.m. and nobody caught me.


->song on repeat<-
Here are the lyrics to the song i've fallen in love with:

Adia I do believe I failed you
Adia I know I let you down
don't you know I tried so hard to love you in my way
it's easy let it go...
Adia I'm empty since you left me
trying to find a way to carry on
I search myself and everyone
to see where we went wrong
'cause there's no one left to finger
there's no one here to blame
there's no one left to talk to honey
and there ain't no one to buy our innocence
'cause we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all falter
does it matter?
Adia I thought we could make it
but I know I can't change the way you feel
I leave you with your misery
a friend who won't betray
I pull you from your tower
I take away your pain
and show you all the beauty you possess
if you'd only let yourself believe
thatwe are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all falter, does it matter?
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
'cause we are born innocent
Adia we are still it's easy, we all falter ...
but does it matter?

Wow. I love that song so much.. Its an awesome song. sarah mclachlan is great. I wont be doing much except practising my driving so i can get my licesne b-4 i go to VA. in other news.. hmm. i had a dull day.. but thats alright. i've almost beaten supermario RPG im about to go find a walkthrough. its funny.. i went from 16 million IM's to 2. hehe ah well. anyways. i am bored..so im going to go talk to my friends... nothing at all happened today.. beleive me you arent missing anything -- i did watch Man in the Iron Mask. Dear Goodness.... Leo is hot =0)~~ hehe. i've had this dream about my "neighbor" guy who doesnt exist. and its this great funny cute guy who just makes me feel complete. hes tall.. has dark brown hair.. dark brown eyes.. and best of all.. he makes me laugh ((Woo. hadda quote jessica rabbit)) im just waiting around to see if someday maybe. i dunno. anyways.. im out.
luv,
me.

I fell through the looking glass on Monday, June 24, 2002 At 12:59 a.m. and nobody caught me.


New!
Well... This is certainly a great new blog layout ~!! well.. pictures anyways. *gets all happy and excited* Anyways. I am angry and paranoid at the government. they are voting on this thing to carry like.. a ton of nuclear waste across the country. and the route they'd go is a mile away from my house. so now im all freakd out that there isg oing to be a radiation explosion and BAM im crispy crittered.eeek~! anyways.. I'm going to write a letter to congress. i know that wont help. it doesnt help anything in this country. they do what they want to do. i hope that they dont vote to do this though. it would be a disaster. esp. with Curious George as our president. oi. hes screwed up alot. i must admit that i did like bill clinton alot better than this loser. . anyways. enough with politics. i know i said i'd say what happened betwix myself and another individual so here goes :

It has been resolved. Yes. That much is true. Right now.. I am still hurt yes. I don't think that would effect our friendship in the future.. but as of now.. I'm still a little wary around him. AHH I feel like mega-bitch. I haven't been straightforward with alot of people. when i talk to them.. i walk on eggshells and avoid hurting their feelings.. well.. shoot. yesterday i didnt.. and now i can't stop. anyways. Not much inspiration today. i BEAT the damn sword in supermario RPG.. thats what I'm about to go play right now.. Anyways.. I'm out.. bask in the Cheshire Cat! i'll ge tmore pics up. expect to see them for a while. *muah*
love,
me.

I fell through the looking glass on Sunday, June 23, 2002 At 01:51 a.m. and nobody caught me.