bask in the strawberries! BAAASSSKK!!!! *giggle* I know you love them. i know i do. strawberries are like.. the best. aside from kiwi's ((Kiwi i luff ya babe =0*))
-strawberry

:*:today will mark the end of strawberries:*:
ahh. strawberries are getting a little to happy go lucky for me. heres what inspires me tonight:

Jacob: im sure one of these days your white knight will ride in and youll be able to tell him everything

if you havent heard.. yes. i did cry. yes. i did argue with chris. yes. this time it was different. and yes. i am fed up with the entire universe. No robin, not you sweetie. you have no idea how much i love you. you are such a sweetheart and i miss you so incrediblly much..((i miss having a best friend around.. NAWEE DOOEE DAMABALA!!!))

in some ways.. i guess i brought it on myself. oh well. its over. he tried to dissect me.. and understand me.. not know .. but understand. i will blog about this tomorrow. i must go. as i said before.. the tears in my eyes block the letters on the keyboard. happy dreams. a thousand kisses. I'm thru with this whole niceness thing.. if you are a good friend, then i shall be nice. if you arent. well i guess i'll be VA-bitch. ((*muah to everyone up there*)) ciao.

-mlle.

:*:I'm fallling down lower and lower on Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 01:10 a.m. Won't you catch me?:*:

:*:magnets in my journal:*:
hmm well i have my journal.. allow me to read themagnet words that i set up in here:

"I cry help!" "Walk In" "I'm Always Mad" "Music Of My Life." "Whatever" "Bummed!" "Sometimes I Forget To Feel Happy." "Learning" "Laugh" "I was awesome" "It Is Best." "I need You Badly" "haveme like I'm wanting you." "Weird and yucky." "Getting totally funny" "Run And Dance" "My friends are here." "My huge sky is there" "whisper wild secrets." "Nighttime rocks." "you're my star" "will you sing to me now?" "it talks. good." "read my crazy journal."

and the one that stuck out in my mind.. and probably will for a while

"Bang -- Oh No!"

Odd. I am an odd cookie. Oh Well... So.. heres the most interesting comment of the evening:

Slash[12:11 AM]: youre mine dammit!

*snicker* just a little protective? *muah* anyways.. here is a little quote from my rant last night..
"I don't want to feel like i *need* someone. I'm afraid that by dating, I will lose a sense of myself." i dont want that.. i fear that. insanely.

okay. in other news.. im bored. and im in a valley. *sigh* not a good combination. as james said : another bad combination is "a lil' horny and a lil'tired" heheh
in other news.. i'm pissed at ignorant people. AAAHH rant. i hate them. if you are so ignorant and STUPID that you cant open your mind a CRACK then shut your stupid mouth. if you in anyway cant open your mind to see another persons point of view.. then shut up. shut up shut up shut up! dont piss me off and dont keep repeating yourself and trying to make me change my mind. just go away. jeeze. at least i can open my mind to see another persons POV ((to mr. barrel-of sunshine-at-the-pool ;0> i'm not talking about you. hehe)) anyways.. jeeze just shut up. in the words of kurt

peace, love, and empathy,
me.
Slashie-- Movie ? We saw a movie? *giggles insanely*

:*:I'm fallling down lower and lower on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 01:01 a.m. Won't you catch me?:*:

:*:why do you have an aversion to opening up?:*:
Thats the question of the day. That was the question my mom asked me... and.. it took me a few minutes to answer.. I guess I don't because people stab me in the back with what they know. ((isnt that right slashie-poo?)) so I choose not to tell anyone anything. Like I told my mom.. They know what I tell them.. nobody really knows all that much about me. just what they thinkk.. an' what i tell them. Well.. yesterday i told jamsey that i was tired of being sad.. but im not. i guess its like kurt said? "i miss the comfort of being sad." when i said that to one of my friends they were all "how is being sad comforting?" its like .. a cushion. i know that i dont get my hopes up, therefore they arent shot down. its perfect =*0) however. just being sad doesnt mean i cry all the time.. no. cry. me? i dont cry. never. i blogged the last time i cried. and i havent since then. end of story. yippie skippie. the end.

anyways... quote of the blog?
"she'll come back as fire to burn all the liars leave a blanket of ash on the ground.. i miss the comfort in being sad."

i guess im on a nirvana kick lately. =0) i saw kurt on SNL.. i got kind of sad watching it... kurt.. chris farley.. and phil hartman.. all dead. =*0( this cant be good when you watch a TV show and pick out dead people.. kurt looked so good standing in front of that microphone singing heart shaped box................. *sigh* my mom picked out how kurt is left handed. i was like.. "damn. i didnt know that." playing his guitar.. his long hair swinging in front of his face.. and those eyes... my God.. those Eyes...... *sigh* those eyes..

-me.

:*:I'm fallling down lower and lower on Monday, June 17, 2002 at 11:33 p.m. Won't you catch me?:*:

:*:so.. today:*:
so today.. wow.. what happened? nothing really... i have extreme guilt from over eating. dammit. i dont know why i put myself through the hell of eating. when i get done i feel horrible. to top it off.. .i had a cupcake.. so it felt like i ate a brick. i keep thinking.. "well this is no way to be thin for the start of the school year." damn it all anyhow.
been thinking.. i dont know what to do with myself anymore. i feel like im always on this emotional rollercoaster. and i hate it. i hate this ride and i want off. i want OFF. im tired of getting my emotions messed with.. im tired of my dad callingme and pretending like everything is okay when he knows damn well it isnt. im so tired of everyone. Him especially. he has no freaking clue what is going on in my life and he thinks he can be this great super guy. he isnt. how nice ofme to write this on fathers day right? whatever. im tired of him. hes got a new family now. so he can kiss my ass. let him go be happily ever after in his little barn. with his little wife. and her children.. i hate that he gets to me.

as i told jamesy.. im tired of being sad. i dont even know wy i am anymore. i just feel like sitting down and crying. i'll end up doing that later... i hate that i feel like this. i hate the feelings tha tlive inside of me.
in other random news.. pray tha ti will be getting my braces off soon. *sigh* well im out. im tired. quote of theevening? how about a convo

Me: I'm sick of this ride. i want off.
Romi: Well get off.
Me: That would make an interesting noise.. me hitting the bottom.
Romi: hmm. well just climb down slowly.
Me: I need a big monkey to come and rescue me >=0)

tee hee. now if you know me... you should know that i DONT need to be rescued. so dont get any ideas *wags finger* i dont need anything. =0P ((hehe what did i tell you robin?))

crazy sexy passion
-"me"

:*:I'm fallling down lower and lower on Monday, June 17, 2002 at 01:11 a.m. Won't you catch me?:*:

:*:.don't mess up our game of life.:*:
Well.. Let me see.. Today.. what did I do today? *giggles insanely* well.. I can admit that I did get my ass kicked in the game of Twistar VS Chris and Trent. We got tangled up in some odd positions. Well... Trent knocked me down and me and Chris got tangled up... Just to clarify who did what =0) I got bit by a spider this morning.. so I have a sinking feeling that the end is near.. *sigh* only joking. anyways.. I guess I may as well throw in the quote that inspires me lately :

"Do I wear you out? you must wonder why I'm relentless and all strung out.."

i am feeling strung out lately. i need to sleep. im being pulled in directions i didnt know possible. chris said something to me.. that was about the game we were playing.. but.. i took it in a different way...

"Don't Mess Up Our Game Of Life."

That Got to me.. i was like.. wow.. dont mess up the game of life... and that got me to thinking.. have i? have i screwed up this game already? I mean.. what if we only get one chance to tell people how we feel? damn. I'm screwed then. because.. I have so many things on my mind about so many different people... I just wonder if i should get it all out.

Robin sweetie.. i know what you are thinking.. No.. that isnt where i was going with that.. (mean lesbian *frown*) Anyways.. i guess i should go.. im tired.. i need.. sleep.
Kisses
me.
The Straight One. ;0*
"and what i really want.. is deliverance."

:*:I'm fallling down lower and lower on Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 11:18 p.m. Won't you catch me?:*:

:*:Yes My Gatekeeper:*:
Alright.. Today... hehe.. Trent brought over his little game called Nightmare.. it is probably the worst game i have ever played.. and believe me.. i've played some bad games. (one word: hotels) its this cheesy game that comes with a video... well.. theres a timer on the game.. and this "gatekeeper" dude.. who is so incredibally gay that it isn't even funny! LOL anyways.. so hes counting down and banishing people.. and calling us maggots.. and we have to answer him when he speaks to us.. yep... gotta speak to the tv.... in all actuality we had to say "Yes My Gatekeeper." he really says soem kinky stuff.. hes lik e"i love to taste scum" hmm... isnt that just lovely? anywyas.. then.. i went to the garage to find who framed roger rabbit -- only the greatest movie ever.. and.. well.. t-dawg and chris found home movies... too bad most of them were on super VHS which wont play on a regular VCR..... hehehe.. they did however get one working.. from when i was three... and its like my 3rd birthday.. christmas.. then halloween.. all i know is.. is thatmy dad had christmas songs in the background while my mom played santa.. and had geeky looking cheap old-computer words that said stuff lik e"Xmas '89" Lets not forget the closeup of mindy in the bumblebee costume going "I dont wanna ge tmy nighty on!" I cant believe my voice. it so sounded like a mouse.

in other news.. robin wants me to be a lesbian. *odd look* i dont think that would work out for me.. . i have my eye on this one guy... *chaaaagryn* o__K well i gotta get goin... spiderman tomorrow.. and if i hate it... then trenty and chris said they'd go see whatevr i wanted to see.. which means.. A) About a Boy ((which t-man has already seen.. hmm)) b) Spirit-- Stalion of the Cimmarin C) Scooby Doo or D) Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood. Dammit! i hate chick flix... but i'll take em to one.. that.. or Sum of All Fears.... or Changing LaneS? i dunno.. anyways... ill write more later....

me
"and what i wouldnt give, to find a soulmate.. someone else to catch this drift.. and what i wouldn't give to meet a kindred... oh haaaooowww.."
-all i really want-- Alanis.

:*:I'm fallling down lower and lower on Friday, June 14, 2002 at 01:12 a.m. Won't you catch me?:*:

:*:quizthingy:*:

You are Jia Li aka Murder!

Owner/head/oyabun of the 36 Moons. You're in charge and no one fucks with you. You're a little taken by Toki most of the time and he owns most of your free will. However you be quick to smack the shit out of him if he goes too far. You're also a bit of a masochist. Which 36 Moons character are you? Click here to find out!

YAY! See the sexy "muuurrrdderrrr" in the background!? how hot is that. bwahahhaha
-me

:*:I'm fallling down lower and lower on Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 10:44 p.m. Won't you catch me?:*:

:*:a thousand pardons:*:
I've neglected you my precioussss blog! =0* forgive me. Well.. n/m has been goin' on lately.. just workin' on my appearance.. my mom and I were talking about dieting.. but apparently wanting to stay under 500 calories is "too drastic" so she told me a thousand. so far i've done it .. all week =0) yippie skippy! sorry. i get over excited. i've lost 4 pounds.. and I'm not gonna stop. >=0/ I just want to be able to look in the mirror and be like "i look good today." ..so far.. i can kinda do that... but.. i mean.. i just want to .. i dont know.. hopefully by the time school starts.. anyways

in other news.. i 0wnz in Syphon Filter ((i know! i played a video game.. be proud!)) and.. i kicked trent, matthew AND Chris' ASS in that game (*giggles*) yea yea.. chris claims to have let me won.. but still... i won! hehehehe alright im done with that... so..... let us continue our basking in the strawberry fields forever.. =0)

-me.

:*:I'm fallling down lower and lower on Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 12:46 a.m. Won't you catch me?:*:

*yawn*
well here.. i finally updated it... be happy.. *falls asleep at computeR* i'll blog more tomorrow.. until then.. bask in the strawberries.. and go drink a smoothie. im out likea fat girl in dodgeball
-strawberry

:*:I'm fallling down lower and lower on Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 02:11 a.m. Won't you catch me?:*: