-[now your butt is frosty]-
bwahahahahah!!!!! i had a frosty bum today. me, tisha, trent, and chris went ice skating. it was like.. so fun! i cant figure out what is up with my keyboard. lol. my exclamation point key isnt working.
anyway, back to ice skating. i had more than too much fun today.. fun like that should be illegal! bwahhaha! anywaaay. =0) i can't wait to go again. me and tisha were talking about going to see ET next weekend. trenton said "i already saw it.." so he wants to go see spiderman.. you know we'll all end up going to see that..
i want to go see "Lilo and Stich" when it comes out.. what can i say? i love little kid movies! =0) hehe its cool to be a dork. i think tonight im going to re-do the layout of my page... well.. i must be off for right now.. byebye
mad love,
melindalocious <--again.. dont ask.
BKA - The Hopeless.

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 08:15 p.m.

-[..to say more about yesterday..]-
Perhaps i should go into more detail.. i overreacted a *little* bit. im just tired of being .. i dont know.. i guess i've just been picked at too much.. its been wearing me down.. and i know i overreacted.. i know i did.. but i think anyone would.. maybe not.. whatever. the link i put in was this hilarious link.. its like this "game quotes" link and i die of laughter whenever i go there..
Lisa Lopez died, that is really sad. i need to change my theme song to Unpretty. because that used to be my "song" lol.
im going ice skating tommorry.. its going to be funtymz. i think lee is going.. he is so nice. lol KooKie if you will..
i still kinda like that guy... hes... yanno.. there.. i guess... i mean when i see him in like.. woo~! there he is. lol oh well.. more later.
madmadmaddeliciouslove,
mindalocious.

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Friday, April 26, 2002 at 06:46 p.m.

-[UGH]-
Ugh. im done. its over. im over and thru. i've just died on the inside. and it is over. everything is done. i'm just turning back to ye olde VA melinda. no more miss nice white girl-chica. i've gotta flip for now. UGH i hate being alive.
peace
melinda

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 08:42 p.m.

-[jeans,footballjersey,and an afro-pick.]-
Here I sit.. with blue jeans.. and a football jersey on.. no makeup.. my hair pulled back in a clip.. splattered with paint.. and an afro-pick stuck into my hair.. not exactly painting you a pleasant picture.. right? aaanyways. i stayed home today.. i cleaned up.. some.. and painted.. the whole day.. i absolutely love painting. i put the finishing touches on my box w/ the dead-looking cat on it. hehehe. anywho. i found this paper with all these different ways to do makeup.. so.. excitement for me ^__^ i'll be working on it soon. plus fun stuff for my hair. wow. okay that was my few seconds of shallowness...
anyways.. on a more serious note.. im going to do what i wrote about in my journal..and that would be try to seriously make a concious attempt to change myself. i mean, how unfun is it to always be unhappy on the inside, but always act happy? its not. believe me. im going to try. i can only hope it will work. i told sharoyal i'd make a list of 20 reasons as to why i like myself.. and i got to #7.. she was a little disappointed. lol. i really did put alot of effort into it.. i thought for a long while. i just couldn't think of that much stuff.. she said she could think of more than 20 things about me.. but i.. guess i just couldnt. whatever. it doesnt matter. im not exactly a great person. well, i gotta run.. nobody is online so im going to search for some funny stuffs.
mad love
me.
*You were my happiness..and now you are the obstacle in front of it*

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 02:46 p.m.

-[my goodness.]-
well, i don't really know what im thinking anymore. I mean.. this friend.. that i .. kinda like? well.. it wouldnt work out. i just know that he doesnt like me like that.. and.. i just dont think im his type. oh well.. anyways
Tomorrow is "take your daughters to work" day.. fun im not staying home. i'd rather go to school. I doubt anyone interesting will be at school..
well now im gonna talk about me. . i think im gonna go back to how i used to act.. because this whole nice girl persona is pissing me off. i think i should just revert back to .. yanno.. how i was in VA. i didn't have alot of friends.. but.. at least they were tru blu friends who cared.. etc.. oh well.. i guess you cant change the past.. you know? anyways.. im done feeling soooo sad =0P i wrote in my journal that i am tryin' to figure out who i am as a human.. miss Melinda Maria. =0) anyways.. if i had a super power.. i'd want to have.. Transformation.. b/c that would r0ck my s0x off.. heeh anyways.. gotta flip
mad mad mad love,
melinda

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 07:23 p.m.

-[today]-
today .. nothing has been going on.. i've been bored... lately.. i've been thinking.. and i'm watching my friends.. and i have this one friend.. and no matter how immature she acts, she always has a million guys around her.. its so aggrivating. i wonder why its her and not me. you know? my friend royal said it's because i have confidence and she craves attention. and.. i really don't have confidence. she said she wants me to make up a list of 20 great things about me.. but.. i can think of like.. 5. lol . oh well. i will think this weekend.
back to what i was takling about before.. i just dunno what to do with myself anymore.. i sorta like this one guy.. but.. hes a "friend" and plus.. i think he's made it abundantly clear to me that nothing would happen b/w us. plus i think he likes my friend. its complicated when all you say is "my friend" and "my other friend" anyways.. i'll write more later..
mad love
melinda

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Friday, April 19, 2002 at 09:50 p.m.

-[survey]-
well.. found another one.
CURRENTS...

Current Clothes: jeans and a halter top..
Current Mood: pissed.
Current Music: Poe-- Control
Current Taste: REvenge
Current Hair: down and messy as always
Current Annoyance: see entry below, and evil mean guys
Current Smell: nuffin
Current thing I ought to be doing: sleeping
Current Desktop Picture: strawberries
Current Favorite Artist: poe. jim croche and dr. dre.. just because of that commercial LMAO
Current Favorite Group: garbae, joydrop, nirvy, eagles, other random oldies, and i named a ton before.. lol
Current Book: The Dark Is Rising
Current CD in CD Player: Poe-- Haunted, MetaSexual, and Hybrid Theory Current Color Of Toenails: plum shimmer
Current Refreshment: Water..
Current Worry: myself.. and my future
Current Crush: i had one. but the i realized what an arrogant prick he is. besides. it would never work out. he cramps my style.
Current Favorite Celebrity: Josh Hartnett.

LAST PERSON...

You Touched: My Brother to wake his lazy self up.
You Talked to: Ally
You Hugged: .. um.. my mom this morning
You Instant messaged: Allyson dear
You Yelled At: truely got angry and yelled at? Jourdayn that damn little kid
You Had A Crush On: uhm.. damn.. i can't even remember..
Who Broke Your Heart: many people have.

FAVORITE..
Food: italian
Drink: hmm..BamamaHamas. and 7&7's.. and.. Cap'n Morgans..
Color: all of the colours
Album: haunted, metasexual, in utero, jagged little pill, tre parole, version 2.0, The Sign, The Brige, etc..
Shoes: my black boots.. and my lace up sandals
Candy: um... Peppermint PAtties
Movie: Scary Movies.. and Scary Movie (1&2..) OMG too much fun the other day.. haha! "hey! its a noise! let me take this phone as defense!"
Song: i dun think that list would be too short
Fruit: strawberrays

ARE YOU...
Understanding: i try to be.
Open-minded: Very Much.
Arrogant: I really hope i am not.
Insecure: extremely
Interesting: probably not. thats why people dont wanna listen ((sept you trent! LOL))
Hungry: no, God no.
Friendly: not if its an asshole. but i try to be friendly, and keep anger inside
Smart: i am extremely smart ;0) naw. i do have enough street knowledge to get me through tho
Moody: very much Childish: yes. i have no shame in admitting that. LOL
Independent: yep. i am.. so i can live on my own.
Hard working: sometimes
Organized: *dies in a hysterical fit of laughter* Healthy: nah
Emotionally Stable: not particulartly
Shy: extremely
Difficult: always
Attractive: no.
Bored Easily: YEs.
Messy: sometimes
Thirsty: nah, im drinking water
Responsible: i try
Obsessed: with nothing.
Angry: Yes.
Sad: Yes.
Happy: no.
Trusting: Not hardly
Talkative: It depends on who im talking to
Legal: We just wont tell my customers that hehe j/k
Original: i try to be
Ignored: all the time
Reliable: always
Content: nope
Optimistic: For other people, yes. for my own life? no.
Deep thinker: yea usually
Self-disciplined: yea
Sleepy: very
Lonely: always. always always

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
Kill: nobody.. maybe parts of myself.
Slap: everyone that pisses me off
Get Really Wasted With: that list might take a while hehe j/k!
Tickle: dont know?
Look Like: anyone besides me.
Be Like: myself.
Talk to: someone that cares
Talk To Online: ^ above

Okay..... well.... facinating.. i'll bet you learned something.. study.. there will be a test.. =0)
mad love,
MissMelindaMindy
P/S- someone wanna return the mad luff? sheeeezze!

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Saturday, April 13, 2002 at 12:26 a.m.

-[But Our Princess Is In Another Castle]-
as the great tara said.. "I'm not beautiful like you.." *sigh* because I'm just me. I am that stupid little white girl that listens to everyones bull.. but has only like one friend that will listen to me. ((thx trenty ;0>)) I get all the shit from people.. wah wah wah wah wah. take a trip on my life.. live my life for a day would you? i'd be glad to just not have a current crush or whatever.. Well, i guess we can't all be supermodels or whatever. sometimes i wish i could look different.. just change how i look... and maybe i'd be a different person..
i doubt it.. although chris did almost make me cry because he said "i was too thin to give blood" i was like CHRISS!!! YOU ARE MY NEW BEST FRIENNNDD!! i've given up on everything
school, not so much.. i still want to graduate.. drama i gave up... guys.. i pretty much gave up ((no.. im not gay im just giving up..)) i need to find hope in myself.. but i doubt that i can... i hope that one day i find peace inside ((how cheesy right?)) i need to diet and get thin.. i hate the way i look.. i need to lose weight i have no option. i want to be pretty so i have to be thin. i don't care if it seems anorexic ((Believe me.. im not.. lol)) but i have to. i hate teh way i look. i look in themirror and im like.. damn. you are ugh! look away!
does that sound shallow? i dont care. its the truth. anyways.. i've gotta go...
dream today.. daydream today...
mad love, hugs, kisses, WMS (hahahhaha!!), etc.
melinda.
the mean one

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Friday, April 12, 2002 at 11:31 p.m.

-[Lifeless.. so heres a Survey!]-
<1> Have u ever stood on a boulevard in the middle of the road and waved at random cars as they passed? YES! LOL that was great.. i was like "hey sup!" and he was 100% hot hhe
<2> Did they wave back? Well.. he kinda did?
<3> Are you one of those annoying people that scream "No I will not have sex with you!" in the middle of the movie? Nah.. we throw the popcorn tho
<4> Do you have a headache? i did earlier
<5> Do you have cabin fever? YES
<6> Are you doing spring cleaning? Was i supposed to?
<7> Do you like the Offspring? i used to.. not really anymore tho..
<8> Does your name have a W in it? yes.. my last name does
<9> Are you menstruating? not at the moment
<10> Do you know what circumcision is? sure do. LOL that year.. they asked the substitute.. oh goodenss
<11> One pillow or two? 2.. and a TON of stuffed animals
<12> Last place you went in a car? Del Taco. never again
<13> What color was the car? Green
<14> What are you wearing? the same thing i've been wearing..today.. a purpley halter top.. and my sparkley jeans
<15> How many bathrooms are in your house? 2
<16> Fat Lip or In Too Deep? neither
<17> Weirdest color you've painted a room in your house? well i wallpapered my room with pink flowers.. and kittens ((EW!)) not i have LP covers that line the ceiling.. ((thanx for the detail right? hehe))
<18> Is your hair wet? nope i blowdry mine
<19> Who's hotter, Josh Hartnett or Chad Michael Murray? Josh Hartnett
<20> Do you even know who Chad Michael Murray is? nah
<21> What does your shower curtain look like? its blue with fishies <22> What was the last thing you said? WHAAAT?!
<23> Are you talking to anyone on instant messenger? yea
<24> What do your slippers look like? dun wear 'em
<25> Where do you keep your vacuum? um.. in the last place i vacuum
<26> Are you wearing deodorant? sure
<27> Are there any ceilings in your house that aren't white? nope
<28> Do you like to go into chat rooms and annoy people? hehe yes thats what me and tisha are tlaking about now
<29> Who would you want to be stuck in an elevator with? it depends on how long.. a very long time A hot guy with alot of food.. a short time.. anyone i wouldnt kill in 30 seconds teeehee
<30> Are you ghetto fabulous? oh of COURSE LOL
<31> Do you like stickers? YES
<32> Do you like Mad Libs? YESSS!!!!! OMG fill in the blank last year = the best thing evarrrrr
<33> Have you ever volunteered? yes. ugh. see last entry
<34> Where is the nearest Kleenex box located? at the store .
<35> Don't you hate school Kleenex? lol our school has toilet paper
<36> Have you ever given head? nope
<37> Are you suicidal? not now
<38> Crawling or In The End? In The End if i absolutely had to pick
<39> Is your window open? nope i just heard someone crawling thru my backyard... scary!
<40> What was the last pair of shoes you bought? i myself? my sandals from italy
<41> Do you have a little brother? yep
<42> does he draw you cute pictures? he does soemtimes ^__^
<43> Do you have an older brother? No.. my step-bro is exactly 4 mts older tho
<44> Does he have hot friends? Ew! Danes friends are hideous! Garret.. and... ew gross *shudder*
<45> Where do your grandparents live? VA
<46> Do you have a rubber chicken? nope.,
<47> What do you think of when you hear the word click? .. click.. the mouse hehe
<48> Are you a moron? nah i dont think so??
<49> Do you cut yourself? nah.
<50> What do you do during study hall? we dont have study hall
<51> Does your school have open campus? ..what?
<52> What's your favorite salad dressing? ranch
<53> Do you like trampolines? YES!
<54> Do you like cheese? sorta
<55> Which is better, tank tops, halter tops, tube tops or none of the above? halter tops and tube tobs
<56> Did you see American Pie 2? nope
<57> Have you ever accidentally sucked somethin up in the vacuum? yes... many things.... bouncy superballs.. jewelry... pennies... pencils.. etc..
<58> Do you talk to Smarterchild? Who? ((or is it whom? LOL))
<59> How old will you be in 30 years? 45
<60> Who will you be in the 30 years? Myself
<61> How will you dress in 30 years? dunno? with whatever is in syle.
<62> Are you deaf? What?
<63> Are you blind? nope
<64> What do you think of depressed people? *sigh* lets not
<65> What are you eating? nothing.. i keep twitching tho
<66> Last movie you rented? um.. soemthing on pay per view
<67> Last movie you saw in the theater? the hobbit.. LMAOLMAO
<68> Would you consider yourself sexy? nahh
<69> Haha 69!!! oo funny
<70> Have you ever made up a song to remember something for a test? yes!!! LMAO the quadratic formula song.. hehehe *to the tune of frere jacques* -b -b plus or minus square root, plus or minus square root.. bsquared minus 4ac bsquared minus 4ac all over 2a all over 2a! hehehe
<71> Have you ever been to Canada? no!
<72> Doesn't it suck? dunno?
<73> Have you ever been to California? when i was younger
<74> Have you ever been to Nebraska? nope
<75> Do you have braces? yes
<76> What color are they? they're silver with black bands
<77> Who was the last person you talked to on im? james and tisha
<78> Last thing you ate? um.. oreo's hehe
<79> Is your hair straight, wavy, or curly? depends on what i do with it.. its naturally kinky as all hell ((if hell is kinky teehee!))
<80> What time is it? 1:08 AM
<81> What did you do today? nothing really.. walked around.. read... took a catnap =0P had funkish dreams. which i won't go into.. and now im online
<82> Cowdance.com or Hamsterdance.com? hamsterdance.com POP! goes the hamster! and other fun microwave games ! teehee
<83> Are you a vegetarian? NO! UGH! i didn't fight to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables! why does everyone ask me that? LOL
<84> What's your locker number? 951 . me and sarah share one
<85> What's the combination? umm... 26-31-then i turn it till it opens.. it doesnt matter.. if yall wanna go to my locker i leave it unlocked
<86> Wanna make out? sure! LOL j/p
<87> You guys want some cookies? yes. i'd love a cookie
<88> Are you comfy? yep.. why does eveyrone online ask me that?! ((go ahead and get..... *cue funky porno music* commmfyyy))
<89> Right now, who is all in your house? my mom.. my step dad my brother and one of my cats
<90> Are you paranoid? yes extremely
<91> Are you only filling this out to avoid doing your homework? ehehe yea sorta
<92> Do you like the name Jimmy? aww Jimmy!!! i loved him!! his last name was freakin' funkish tho!
<93> What do you think of when you hear the name Mark? mmmmmmmmm he was hot.................
<94> Kristin? hmm... how about that mean girl who was evil to me in the 4th grade.. ugh
<95> Zoe? joeyl's doggie
<96> Jamie? off of the real world
<97> Adam? UGH that stupid.. grrf
<98> Carmen? TARMYYYYYYYYYYYY
<99> Do you like Michelle Branch? nope
<100> Where would you like to be now? somewhere warm
<101> Weirdest thing that happened to you recently? hmm.. i dunno?
<102> Craziest thing you did recently? Craziest? how about... dunno? its late.. lol <103> Do you have to pee? YES! *shiver* <104> Do you like fluffy yogurts? i like yogurt.
<105> Don't you hate that when you have to watch the baby being born in health class? we had to watch videos of STD's
<106> Do you like the Sims? never played it
<107> Do you like away messages? YES! IM me when im away. i always have an interesting one up
<108> Isn't that weird how hair gets lighter in the sun but skin gets darker? not really
<109> Do you burn or tan? turn red.. then tan
<110> Scotch tape or masking tape? scotch tape!
<111> Frozen yogurt or ice cream? depends on the flavour
<112> Do you like pineapple on your pizza? ew no! my mom does tho
<113> How about anchovies? eeew my grandma does
<114> Do you have people on your buddy list that u never talk to? YES LMAO
<115> Do you close the lid after you pee? sometimes
<116> Do you go to church? sometimes
<117> Pen or pencil? pen
<118> Do you have any of those mechanical pencils that cost like ? no ! LOL
<119> Aren't they a waste of your money? yes!
<120> Are you parents divorced? yes
<121> Do they hate each other? i don't think so? i know my step mom doesnt like my mom.. and vice versa
<121> Do you talk to losers? yes. *sigh*
<122> If you like rainbows, does that mean you're gay? nah its stupid that a colour or whatever defines sexuality
<123> Do you make a wish at 11:11? i don't wish.
<124> Do you celebrate St. Nick's Day? yeas
<125> What song is in your head? Ace Of Base -Que Sera ((my theme song))
<126> Do you want to be like Jared? the subway guy? i'd like to lose alot of weight sure
<127> Have you ever shaved? yeaaaaa
<128> Do you like Oreos with peanut butter? chocolate + peanut butter = yummy
<129> Is your hair its natural color? yea.. and a lil bit of pink too
<130> What color are your nails? no colour.. i gotta paint em
<131> Do you have a backpack? yea
<132> What color is it? black mesh
<133> Does it have keychains and buttons and stuff on it? it has a keychain on it. i think
<134> Do you fake sick a lot? all the time
<135> What time is it now? 1:33 AM
<136> Do your relatives get along? our family.. put the Fun in dysfunctional.. they get along.. then they dont.. etc. etc. etc
<137> Who is cooler, your mom's relatives or dad's relatives? my mom's side teehee !
<138> Have your eyes been the same color your whole life? yea.. i think
<139> What's the earliest memory you have? umm.. probably.. i dunno? its too late to think of one probably i dunno
<140> Is it true that the early bird gets the worm? yea.. but i dont like worms..
<141> Have you ever played Monopoly? yeaaaa?
<142> Did you see the movie Get Over It? nope
<143> Do you like Jimmy Eat World? they're okay
<144> What about Ludacris? never heard his music
<145> Monsters Inc or Shrek? shrek i guess
<146> Do you like to abuse people's guestbooks on their web site? abuse their guestbooks????
<147> Aren't babies overrated? YES extremely!
<148> Do you have any kids? no! im only 15
<149> Do you wish you did (if you don't)? i hate children
<150> How long did this take you? dunno?
<151> Aren't you glad it's over?yes im tired
i did not realize what that was until i finished.. *sigh..* i'll entry in tomorrow-ish.. spring break is almost over.. i have a paper due tomorrow and i cant even see the keyboard.. so i will write more later
Mad Love
melinda
im more frightened everyday that someone will take the hope i have away..

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Saturday, April 6, 2002 at 11:52 p.m.

{Let Me Try... Again?}
okay.. after i successfully wrote a ton... i preformed an illegal operation.. how niice.. yes? not. ugh. boo.
here is a rundown of my day.....................
i got to pull weeds.. break a nail... get a farmers tan.. and deal with 5th graders... FUN right? no. thats not the right answer...
the nail.. i can file.. the farmers tan? im going to fix tomorrow when i sit outside all day writing a paper.. the weeds? still not fun.. and there were disgusting bugz.. not fun.. but i can deal with them..
what did i leave out? the children.. the immature brats. i "worked" with my brother ((who was.. ehh..)) jourdayn ((who is a spoiled brat)) and dayron ((who was .. ehh)) Jourdayn was bitching the WHOLE TIME about this and that and blah blah blah blah blah... then she tried to hit me with a shovel... a rake.. and these things with spikes on the end... *then* ((yea, it gets betteR)) she goes over and is helping dayron plug in his radio ((an excuse to talk)) and i call her over im like "jourdayn.. this is not the time for social-ness.. you didnt come here to talk you came here to work. it doesnt take two people to set up a radio now get to work." she cops an attitude.. and tries to act all "Big and Bad." let me tell you all soemthing.. when i want to be a bitch....... i can be a bitch. just ask the little girl tha ti made cry.... call it mean.. i call it "getting my point across"
anyways... i had an unfun day.. tomorry i have to write a paper for spears on a topic i know nothing about.. great right? HaH! you guys wish. =0P i'd rather do that then supervise children tho! well.... let me try to send this one out.. like a fat girl in a dogeball game....... I'm out!
XOXO
Melinda
"im more frigtened every day.. that someone will take the hope i have away."

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Friday, April 5, 2002 at 11:35 p.m.

{teh tearz}
teh tearz.. teh tearz.. neh. nonexistent. cry? for what? ohh no reason at all... i'm just bored with here and now.. the current.
i fixed my blog.. its so scary now. and i have a mascot.. his name is.. Billy? ((AH! thats a good tymsness...)) Maki: this one is for you:::::
ACK! isnt it cute? if the pic doesnt work ill have to fix it at another time..
I have a childrens thing i have to do tomorry.. why? because my mom signed me up..... oh FUN hah! i get to boss little kids around.. if they show up.. if not.. awwww. now i feel sad =*0( anyways.. i will have to blog more tomorry, pitas is being screwy again..and im T I R E D... so once again i cling to life... more latah-*
XoXo
Melinda
"Im more frightened every day, that someone will take the hope i have away.

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Friday, April 5, 2002 at 02:21 a.m.

{::tear::}
oh.. im sad today.. LoL! i.. just one time.. would like someone to be able to listen to me..w ithout turning tha convo back to them.. yanno? it drives me up the wall! im like.. "this one time.. at band camp.." and ill be interupted with "i went to band camp.. and i stuck a flute up.." yea.. well maybe its not *that* bad ;0) but i am So tired of it! *runs to a corner* its not fair. why do people talk to me?! why can't i be one of those people that turns the conversation around to themselves? so many of my friends know like.. nothing about my life.. and i know.. virtually them inside out. its fun to be shrouded in mystery.. and all im asking for is one friend who will listen.. granted, i am a pretty closed up person.. and i have to seriously trust someone b-4 i'll "open up" but yanno.. i didn't think it was *that* hard to talk to me? But.. i guess it is.. *oh-well*
now, i don't especially LIKE talking about my problems, but sometimes it would be nice.. anyway.. wishful thunkin on my part... my shoutout is for maki-chan
"did you hear? we're framin oj."
xoxo
Melinda

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 at 10:39 p.m.

{Feeling : Lost}
Well... Today I'm feeling lost. Why? i dont know what to do.. im all lost and confused with my life.. i need to straighten it out.. before i help straighten out all of my other friends' lives.. i'll admit..helping someone else out with their problems is a bagillion more times easier than trying to sort through the mess of your life.. alone..
i'll agree with robin and say that i, too, need a hug.. a bear hug too... not a "oh hello friend" hug.. a "cry on my shoulder, homey dont be worried about life" type of hug! geeze! but that isnt going to happen. i should face facts, and understand that, yes, i have a loving family and i have friends, but no bear hug friends that will let me talk to them... i can honestly say that i do not trust anyone with 100% of me.. I mean, Linds? my sis? yea.. i trust her.. but i don't talk to her very often.. robin? i dont talk to her much either...
its just a big mess of life.. oh well though.. i guess i'll work my way through it... i guess for now im stuck getting hugs from my stuffed bunny rabbit..... i guess im out for now...
God Bless america The World. ^__^
XoXo
jinXie
"I'm more frightened everyday that someone will take the hope I have away..."

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Tuesday, April 2, 2002 at 01:36 a.m.

{Torture.}

Victims are tied into you and stretched inch by agonizing inch, until they are either rent limb from limb or they confess. Or hey, maybe both. Not as bad as some people, someone tells you what you want to hear you'll feel better.

What torture would you be?
Hmm...Sounds a little too familiar. heheh

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 11:18 p.m.

{Ides of March}
Boo. Ta-Da. here i am coming direct to y'all live. live from here. my house. and my compputer is making funny noises
Royal and i have decided that friendship sucks. (which is strange.. since her and i are tight... i guess sisters are different) oh well. I just get tired of all the freakin' high school melo-drama. oh WAH nobody is going to care who you dated in high school, or how many people you slept with. nobody. Zero. there will be a lackage of caring on other peoples parts. why do we continuously worry about stuff that isn't going to matter in the near future? hell . its not going to matter by tomorrow! high school is a time for immaturity. i admit. i am first on in the "immature" line. but i also know good from bad immaturity. like spreading the stupid rumours? OMG how tired is that crap. i mean COME ON who really gives a damn what brand you are wearing, or if you are going w/ someone, or if you are a "slut" If you wanna do the slut thing.. go for it. you'll pay the price, but whatever. who cares anyway? i mean.. hey. if you want to keep talking junk and making me the center of your life.. by ALL mEANS go for it. but find something halfway decent to talk about. hell come talk to me.. i could give you some interesting topics! but please, i am so sick of high school melodrama that i am 100% bored. good grief. someone jump start me again because i dont know what else to do . BTW i archived recently =0)
luff
jinXie

With tears in my eyes i fell further into the abyss on Friday, March 15, 2002 at 11:47 p.m.