on Sunday, June 27, 2004
check this out! talk about a G spot.. Its for Gucci
click here to contact me him - 12:51 a.m.
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:..thats when U know U've had too much sex...: on Sunday, June 27, 2004
BR>
“I wanna get my head done.. And I aint talking about my hair”.. ::
Man.. I’m starving!.. I think I’mma chow on some Pineapple sherbet.. We bought it the other day thinking that it’d be cheaper to buy stuff for home made smoothies.. Only.. Who has time for that shit?.. .. I just finished seeing “you got served”.. Well I didn’t see the whole thing, just bits and pieces.. It reminded me soo much of high school.. I hate my high school memories.. I wanna go back and redo them all!…I regret doing so little.. Saying so much..
Today I worked over time.. It was pretty fun..-laid back.. I read the news paper.. Geez.. We have some sicko’s in the army at Irack.. I guess some pictures were found of our army sexually molesting the irackies .. U know.. Things like making them perform oral shit.. Or make them masturbate.. -KRAZY shit..
We’re going to the beach tomorrow.. Hopefully We wake up early so we can get a head start.. I bought some water proof cameras.. I wanna add to my pictures.. I’m getting a great collection.. Memories.. Theres this thing called “Craig’s list” here in da bay its like a bay area ebay.. Its pretty cool.. Me and my sis always check on it.. We’re on da search for a surf board.. Cross fingers.. Hope we find one soon!..
Alright then I’m Out.. I better sleep now..
Hope ya feel better donna!
click here to contact me him - 12:25 a.m.
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on Friday, June 18, 2004
HE said she said bull shit.. .. If U didn't want it to go out.. how come it wasn't said person.... "and please try your hardest to keep this email to yourself. i really dont feel like hearing anything from anyone anymore. basically; dont repeat this to anyone. it is between me & the world"
click here to contact me him - 12:11 a.m.
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...:extra dry skin mositurzer:... on Thursday, June 17, 2004
What does the title make U think of?.. Two and two together.. makes..
another day full of interviews.. I hate not having a printer!.. today I retyped my resume because the lady at ‘kelly services’ . (this place that supposedly got my sister her job..) told me that I needed to go more into depth on my resume.. I figured that I’d have it done in no time.. problem is that my sis doesn't have a printer.. so I had to go to the BIG ASS library to see if I could get online and pull my resume from an email I sent myself... ... Being the idiot that I am.. I couldn’t understand how things worked in the bitch… I stood in line for 10 minutes.. And when I was ready to be helped.. A, what seemed to be.. ‘slow’ asian girl was trying to give me directions in how to get me signed onto a computer.. This is all I felt.. “anytime.. Anytime..anytime now BITCH!“… and her breath smelled like crust from a dead mans nut sack. .. What I think she was trying to explain was.. That I had to get a library card.. which almost didn't happen because the address on my drivers license was different from my sisters address.. Then I had to buy this “COPY PRINTING card thingie”.. in order to print I needed one of those cards.. FINAILLY .. I was ready to print out my perfectly good typed resume.. I scrolled down to Yahoo mail.. Typed in my screen name & password.. Then click on “go”.. Pull up my email file.. Open it… and…. MUTHA FUCKA!.. It was all messed up!.. It looked like it was written in ROBOT.. 00001010ew0fc00001.. that’s what it looked like..!.. MAN!. I was so angry..
I drove around for a while and listened to some music.. I decided to apply at this popp’n ass place.. And lord and behold I got an interview on the spot.. I have a second one tomorrow.. At 4:15.. Oh Shit.. I think its 4:15.. Hum.. Dang.. I forgot!..
click here to contact me him - 04:20 p.m.
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'..::Its a hard knock life'::.. on Wednesday, June 16, 2004
I'm stuck here babysitting the kids while My sister and her sister-IN-LAw go out to da "Blue MONKEY".. poor sister.. I love helping her while she spends time out side being a mother.. Shes done soo much.. The kids are watching Annie.. We made a snack together, and now they're laying chill'n
So any who I had my BIg 'InterView' with nVidia.. It was so fucking nerve'reck'n.. Dave (the guy who hires) Seemed really cool.. We talked a bit.. and he seemed like he was gonna hire me on the spot.. but then he flipped the bitch and said that he'd give me an answer early next week.. and that he has other people in line for the position.. I was like "FUCK U MOTHER FUCKER.. I LEt SO many INTERVIEWS PASS my ass BEcause of this one!">.. AHH!.. I hate not working!>. I Need money..
...::$$$::...
Oh.... Emm.. Gee -folks.. the other day My sister and I were drive'n down San Jose State.. and we noticed a lot of Cops.. and a fuck load of people looking up towards the sky.. We stopped and asked this Police guy what was going on.. "the Was this FUCING guy getting ready to jump off the top of a craine.. ".. It was CRAZY with a capital 'SEE'.. Then Today.. We drove down this other street.. and I was like 'Oh shit.. Fire'.. and we turn and a mass crowd was being nosey looking at this house burn.. we decided to B nosey too.. and stop too look.. TUrns out this Crazy bitch felt like burning down her house with a candle.. HE Ass hella Got arrested..
U know what guys.. I think I wanna settle down with a girl. . I'm in the mood fo some lov'in...
click here to contact me him - 10:32 p.m.
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on Wednesday, June 16, 2004
...::::"you can be bad..but U aint bad.. I'll show U what bad is.. Bad is when Ur capable of being the bad.."::::...
I'm not sure If I'mma be able to make it to the S.F Trip.. I have a lot of things going on right now.. And I can't really be spending money right now.. Man I need to go shower.. My balls Are sticking to my leg..
click here to contact me him - 05:57 p.m.
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...:::Nvidia:::... on Monday, June 14, 2004
Hey everybody.. Whats Up?.. Man What A week So many things planned and stuff going on at once.. Lets see .. .::the other day..my sister and her coworker were invited to attend this Party that some "FuFu" lady was throwing.. The invitation was for them and 'one' person they choose to invite.. My sister of course invited me.. and my sisters friend invited her 'booty man'.. It was so fucking funny because we were helping her cheat with her husband.. as my sister pulled up to her house.. she had me duck in the back seat because they lied to her husband saying it was a all womens party.. in reality we were just gonna take her to her 'booty mans' house.. and they were gonna go their own way.. We later met them at the party..
The shindig was cracking.. it was held at the blackhawk museum. 
We all dressed up.. it felt like we were at the grammys or sum'n.. We sat.. ate A LOT of FOOD.. They served us wine.. and People played music.. INside the building aside from where we sat were abunch of old cars.. 
Pretty Cool I thought.. We had a great time.. there..
afterwards.. my sister And I went to a hookha bar ...
it was chill.. We smoked these strawberry flavored tabacco .. We got sorta light headed.. drove home and fell asleep..
TOmorrow I have two interviews.. One at my sisters work.. the one I was suppose to have in the beginning.. Nvidia..
and the other is hollister.. Lets hope I get the Nvidia one.!.. PRAY LIke a mo'fo!
click here to contact me him - 04:13 p.m.
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on Friday, June 11, 2004
Um.. No call..
click here to contact me him - 11:24 p.m.
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...:::Abercrombie & F :::.... on Friday, June 11, 2004
Well U guys .. Long time so Chat.. Well Lets see.. I'm Already here in San Jose.. Its Great.. I'm loving it.. I really need to find a job.. Well actually I do Have an interview this after noon at A&F.. I really excited.. Hopefully I get the job.. I'm totally gonna put my white boy act together... Oh and by the way.. My name isn't Pernouced Hoe-Zae anymore.. Its pernounce..Joe's.. (Jose).. I dunno.. Its an American THing..
Note to self.. WEB cams Are addicting..
TOday I ate Raw fish.. what do they call it?.. Sushi?.. It was pretty good.. I recomend the Cali-Roll.. Its taste like a sandwhich blended together. .. ..nasty.. but good for fish...
I'm all decked out in A&F Stuff.. I Should be leaving.. "I should Go".. Its like 3 or something.. My interview is at four.. I'm HElla FUCKING nervous.. I hope I get this Bitch ass job.. Oh GUess what.. My Sisters Friend works for the air lines.. and shes trying to get me to apply.. Maybe I'll concider it.. I don't have anything too lose.. and I can travel for free.. Good Deal Huh.. Well Its offically 3 I should BOunce.. Alright then Cuz' And Wuz.. I'm shake'n..
click here to contact me him - 02:52 p.m.
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on Thursday, June 10, 2004
First Entry in a long time.. SO Check this OUt.. I'm on my way out but I have to say that "goodies" Is the IN Song right now its by Petey pablo and ciara.. GO check it out!
click here to contact me him - 06:48 p.m.
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Friday the 13th! on Friday, February 13, 2004
Sup everyone.. I’m herre at Cartiers House.. Chill’n.. So Yeah I lied… I said I wasn’t gonna go out.. but U know I got caught up in some shit.. so I decided to drain it out with some liquids, U know How Me and Cart Do.. We were talking earlier on the telephono.. about some old shit that went down last year.. Man I thought my Junior year was the best thing that happened to me.. but Now that Cartier Highlighted some things I didn’t see.. I Now Resent it..FUCK ALL U GUYS THAT FUCKED ME OVER.. If I had a chance.. I’d FUCK U OVER TWICE, AND again,, and again and once ‘gin. Shoot.
Yeah I just fucked up Cartiers Bed right now.. its all Squeeky now.. I hella made cartier walk with a gansta lean.. Looking like Khristian Nord and shir..J/k..U know I love U girl Alright then.. I’mma Roll On Out.. Because I wanna get CRUNKED! AND MAYBE A LIL TIPSY…
Holla To Mrs. Tip-Snatch, and Odish-HOE!! CheCrz [8:00 PM]: I feel it.. Turtles peeking
click here to contact me him - 09:41 p.m.
back up
on Thursday, February 12, 2004
( get Ur FREAK on)
Hit Me¡K
Gimmie Some New shit..
Suck on this Long shit..
Until I cun and shit..
I Be putting down,
I¡¦m the hottes ¡¥round
I told da bitch.. Wha?, (eh..)
U can suck ME NOW
Listen to me know,
I¡¦m lasting twenty rounds, (literally)
And if U want me ..(People..)
Then come and get me now..
Is U wit me now?
Then biggie biggie bounce,
I know I dig the way U suck, suck, suck my style. .
::::..HOLLLlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllAAAaa..::::
Sup Fellow CheLoCruzian.. Nutt¡¦n special hitting up this corner of my life right now.. All¡¦z I¡¦m trying to do is get over this hill and fall on a Fat Stack of pay checks to get my CAR!.. U know how Us Mexicans BE.. ¡VYeah I admitted I¡¦m Mexican.. „²Better appreciate that, this kinda shit is rare!.. So Anyways.. the Weekend is almost herre.. Not really looking forward to it.. Now that I got this Side Job of Coldstones Night Bitch.. „²basically.. I¡¦ll Be too tired to go out.. but what-can I do.. Right?.. Anything for my car.. ..
Okay.. I gotta Say this Before Cartier¡¦s ass puts it on BLAST!.. I Ate Dog Food.. I don¡¦t care.. its actually good.. Its Like Dried bread.. Hahah.. Okay that sounds nasty now..
SO I¡¦m here again chillin.. Thinking about how my day went.. I was very surprised today when Cartier Showed up at my school.. Her And Donna came and Picked me up to go east lunch.. That was very nice.. thanks Ya Hood-Rats.. J/k.. Oh my Gosh.. I¡¦m downloading all these songs for this certain Biz-atch.. and I decided to also Download some classics Like the Beetles.. And I haven¡¦t realized how good they were.. No wonder why they were so fucking popular.. Check this out.. Here¡¦s a great set of lyrics I¡¦d Like to share.. Its from the beetles.. ¡§Yesterday¡¨
¡§Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they¡¦re here to stay.. oh I believe in Yesterday¡K¡¨
¡§Suddenly..I¡¦m not half the man I used to be..
theres a shadow hanging over me.. oh yesterday, came suddenly..¡¨
Why She had to go, I don¡¦t know, she wouldn¡¦t say.
I said, something wowed, now I¡¦d love for yesterday.
Yesterday, Love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide-away.
Oh I believe, In Yesterday. ..¡¨
¡VThe Beetles.. .
In Other News.. Valentines Is Almost here.. and Like every YEAR.. I don¡¦t have anyone to celebrate it with.. I was hoping in giving every Valentine I saved for Maria To Her this Year. But I think I¡¦mma chicken out once again. .. .. Dang this Beetles Song ISn¡¦t helping right now.. Let me turn this SHIt OFF¡K. ¡Valright. Yeah. I decided I¡¦m going to chicken out again. Theres something about this type of month.. But Maria Is Seeing somebody again.. I dunno¡K Why would Somebody pick a day of love For this Month.. Its so Fucking COLd.. Who would want to be inlove at this time?.> Shit..
The history of Valentine's Day is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains leftovers of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.
So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient ritual? One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When the Emperor decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men for his collection of soldiers. St. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the announcement, disobeyed the Emperor and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, The Emperor ordered that he be put to death.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his imprisonment. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France. - www.historychannel.com
It was funny Cuz Today In the career center.. Dylan Was talking to Mrs. Tippet, and MRs. Odish-snatch. .. about what he was gonna do for his girlfriend on Valentines.. I think He said he wanted to take her to dinner. Mrs. Tippet was trying to convince Him in doing something more Romantic.. the only thing he can think about was.. ¡§Romantic = Fucking¡¨.. I thought that was pretty hilarious..
click here to contact me him - 10:00 p.m.
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my 3 day weekend sucked! on Sunday, February 8, 2004
Whoa.. I actually like my new background.. Anyways.. New PIC OF DAY!
click here to contact me him - 04:36 p.m.
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on Friday, February 6, 2004
For those of U None Drinkers.. Click **Here!**
THis will show U What Drunk ass people see when they're looking into Ur FACE..so don't ever try to have a decent conversation with a DRUNK!
click here to contact me him - 08:03 a.m.
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on Friday, February 6, 2004
So I’m Here Chill’n In the Computer lab at 7:40 in the morning. Nobody but 5 people showed up in my 1a class, Partly because of the term paper that was due, and partly because they wanted a four day weekend, since there was no school on Monday. I had a chance to turn in my English Research paper on Tuesday, but I knew I wouldn’t touch it if my life depended on it. I now regret turning it in because I pulled so much shit out of my ass when I was typing the work cited page. O-well.
Man.. Its Friday.. the Weekend is so around the corner.. I wonder what mischief I’mma get into.. Oh Shit.. I was suppose to call Bacardi last night.. I fell asleep.. How’d Ur head start weekend go?..
Alright then.. I better go.. People are getting a lil nosy, and are trying to read what I’m typing.. FOOK THEM ALL!
click here to contact me him - 07:50 a.m.
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ever since I got a B/J.. I've been hella talkative! on Tuesday, February 3, 2004
Alright folks, Updates.. – New Pic of day.. Check em out.. they’re cool!
Well tomorrow I aint going to school.. I got a Doctors Appointment in Fresno.. I need to get “checked up”.. Me and my momma are probably gonna stay there all day.. I think she wants to go shopping!..
Other news.. I got hired to be the cleaning guy at coldstone!.. HELL FUCKING YEAH!.. that means a fat ass paycheck.. only to sweep.. –shit!..
click here to contact me him - 09:26 p.m.
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on Tuesday, February 3, 2004
HAppy 02-03-04!
click here to contact me him - 07:16 a.m.
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**::::...U looking a lil Juicy..:::::** on Sunday, February 1, 2004
(still flying the after effect as we speak)
Friday Me, Cart, & Russ Went to the Winterfest game. . to See the half time performances.. They were all pretty good.. Freshman And Juniors were the best.. . but seniors won.. Congratulations to ME!. ..it was My Music Nigga.. props to Barb, Leslie, and Jacque though.. U guys worked hard.. .. that It.. No props 2 anyone ELSE.. .
So That night. After the game.. we went to Mickey D’s. .I ran into Juicy girl.. talking ‘bout.. “Yeah I aint gonna lie to U.. U looking a little juicy.. so I better step..”. . it was so funny.. so “spare of the moment”.. We later caught up with Gina-Cochina.. Um-hum..& ended up at this GAY ass PARTY!.. LITEREALLY!.. They were all gay people.. It was cool though.. I found a straight girl to talk to.. I recognized her from Vanicias crazy party that summer.. So I stayed with her most of the ending night.. I got really drunk there..and had a lot of fun.. I walked home.. because my house was right around the corner.. So I stumbled my way there as soon as the party got x-rated.. … I locked the door.. put the alarm on.. Shut my room Door.. and Fell asleep.. the next morning.. my mom asked if I had been drinking because it smelled like a suffocating alcohol aroma in my enclosed room.. .. I told her that I took a few sips of beer, and just mingled .. (WHICH I normally do)..
I had to work that Saturday night.. I was scheduled to closed with Alley..seesh.. we were so busy.. ahw man.. my last customer was being a real bitch!>. She was buying all the ice cream for the world.. , constantly changing her order last minute.. .. I wanted to Cry.. I was so serious.. I felt like taking my ice cream spade and jamming it in her eye socked, scooping her brain out, slaming it on the Coldstone, Mixing in Bananas & rosted almonds, and hot fudge, then putting it back in her head.. !.. shit.. It took forever, but the clock stuck 11, and we locked the doors, Gina Russ, Monique, and Cart were waiting for me outside.. I cleaned the dishes, and stormed outside… We headed towards Stacy’s Party where we mingled a little.. meanwhile I was in a journey of finding a magic carpet so I can fly.. I soon found it, and me and cart went in the Garage and took a ride in it… We got So high in the sky that We barely found our way back to Stacy’s house!... I guess Russ Monique and Gina were getting tired.. so they.. left. I dunno how this happened.. but we got 2 fit 5 people (2 of them being quite big) on a bed.. We all just chilled on the bed talking.. (Well at least that’s what cart thought we were doing).. I had my hand some we’rr else.. .. Cart was getting paranoid because of her curfew.. so left with this dude... I stayed with stacy.. and.. We………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………
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…………………………………..- LOVE JOSE
click here to contact me him - 05:41 p.m.
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Still think It wasn't as fun as last years homecoming on Wednesday, January 28, 2004
I’ve noticed that in most of all my entries, I seem to highlights all the flaws and HATES I have towards myself and life. I HATE my school, I HATE my social life, I HATE class of 2004, I HATE the lil dot I have on my nose, I HATE minimum wage, I HATE the financial cut my parents rewarded me, I HATE Merced, I DESPISE leadership, I hate, I hate, I hate!..
Today I decided to not leave school at my normal time of 12:30, because the Winterfest Pep rally was going to air during lunch. Like the Curious person I am, I decided to Stay and cheer for the Freshmen and Seniors, ( and to see how my Music and 25% of my dance came along).. U could tell everything was all unorganized and shit.. But for the dances.. they were really good.. Seniors I thought were the best.. Jacque Worked that “son-of a –gun.”- Her and Crippled ass.. lol.. I love U girl.. The rally ended rather quickly.. it was basically a dance rally.. because that’s all hey did..
trying to leave campus was a bitch!. I have my ID Restricted, so I had to wait till the bell rung before I left.. I stood there in front of the gate waiting for EVER.. I looked around and just looked at all the deliquesce bitches.. it reminded me How Much I wanted to leave Merced in general. People in their lil clicks.. young kids showing puppy-love emotions to each other.. looking stupid.. I hated waiting there.. a YEAR later, the bell rung.. and I once again.. walked home all Lonered-out .. its all good though.. at least I can say I’m DRAMa free!.. NIGGA!..
Car-Tar’s Ass wanting to go to the Winterfest game all HIGh and SHIT.. NIgga Ur CRAZY!
click here to contact me him - 01:51 p.m.
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on Monday, January 26, 2004
Its official.. Coldstone Sucks... We got our new owners working with us now. It feels so awkward, because we have the “dad” and “mom” & now the “Daughter”.. Its more like a family ordeal.. FUCK THAT.. I’m Mad.. Today I just stood there looking dumb.. they wouldn’t let me do anything cuz they were trying to Train the daughter.. Fuck her.. and HER “Nice SMILE”.. I’ll wipe my ass with her Smile..J/k.. I like her.. shes cool.. Updates.. Armageddon is going to hit the world in five seconds.. guess what.. ME and ELENA ROTH are getting along.. What a trip HUH?..
SO Saturday night passed.. Oh MY GOD.. It was so Crazy.. All I gotta say is that Bacardi Got Run over.. And da Bi-atch Laughed about it!.. we got so..Faded …BOTH WAYS!.. It was so Crazy.. I can’t believe I did “it” again… It was weird.. shoot.. Party at Jaspers House for now ON!.. And for the first time.. Russell Was the sober driver.. And Shit.. He can’t Driver for Shizznatch!.. Shoot.. U gotta Practice for Ur test if U wanna pass that shittel.. But I gotta go. .I need to do Some homework.. Something I rarely pay attention too.. PEACE LOVE and Penatration LUBE grease..
-JOSE
click here to contact me him - 06:55 p.m.
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on Sunday, January 25, 2004
Updated New Pictures AGAIN!.. Wooo!.
click here to contact me him - 02:19 p.m.
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on Saturday, January 24, 2004
“RUN FO COV’A MUTHA FUCKA!”
Sand Diego Was CRAZY!.. It was a fun experience, but I’m glad I’m back home .. I know moving over there is gonna be a big transformation that might take a while to get used to.. But I’ll live..-Shoot.. .. We partied so Hard there in Diego-well Most of the partying was done in Mexico, Where the outlawed stuff stays!.. HAha.. We went to Rosario, And Tijuana TO hit them clubs up.. I won’t stay on the subject too Much, Because.. WHATEVERS DONE IN MEXICO, STAYS IN MEXICO! (Lalaine & Vanessa- Ya FREAKS!)
-Dang girl U got ON YO knees?!?!
Um-hum.. Update on the C Bad.. from the last time I Checked, there was “1” missing, And last nights Daily Check resulted in “2” More missing.. –mission accomplished I guess.. NIGGA.. .. !
Last night Gina Cochina, Russell, Cartier, and me chilled and rolled to the parties in the Foggiest day in mErced!. We hit that one party on MAIN and E that Joe told me about.. –Shoot It wasn’t THAt poppen.. but it worked for the time being.. After making them Phone calls, Gina Said that it might be approiate to Make an appearance at the party in PLANET.. So We gathered Cart And RUSS.. And Left ova there.. The mission that I swore I thought we weren’t gonna make it through.. was the long strech between merced and Planet (being the foggiest day and all.. ).. We made it.. And Made some acquaints ..
All and all It was cool.. I was feeling the Tiredness.. and Gina Had To Wake up early..Russ and Cart I think were ready to hit the next party.. I got dropped off, and I don’t remember what happen after that..
Bacardi.. –Never Play drinking games.. because Ur odds seem so far.. lol
click here to contact me him - 01:08 p.m.
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here in the blue room on Friday, January 23, 2004
chillin here at cartiers house..Russell is here..we'
re just about to go out..sORRy for no Updates ..Its been a weird week for mee.. Oh SHooot..GOtta go
cartier getting her groove on oh shoot..I better get outta the way..
click here to contact me him - 09:04 p.m.
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on Thursday, January 22, 2004
Updates..New Pic OF DAY!
click here to contact me him - 03:21 p.m.
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on Sunday, January 18, 2004
Hey Ya'll.. Just writing to Remind myself of a song that I wanna download.. ! "Fuck It" ...<--Its pretty good
click here to contact me him - 08:13 p.m.
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DANG baby.. I Can't go THAT fast, but I know who could!.. on Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Sup Everyone.. Sorry For Not updating.. there really hasn’t been any interesting Things going on in my life right now.. Pretty boring.. 2 More Days till San Diego!!.. I can’t wait… I’m so Excited!>. OH YEAH!.. PARTY CENTRAL!.
Winterfest is In A few weeks.. I’m pretty Interested to see how all the skits turn out.. Especially the SENIORS.. Hopefully they pull a rabbit out of their asses and not lose bad, or at least do a decent performance.. (No Judgment) I haven’t heard anything on how things are going.. I don’t even know the theme..( Basketball-or something).. O-well. I really hope the Freshman get their act together and pull out with a bomb ass performance.. They Have what it takes.. they just don’t have any references-they’re basically working from nothing..
–I give early Credit for year 2007 even if they don’t do good(Which I doubt)
Bacardi and Russ-HO are going to a Britney Concert in Fresno.. They’re pretty excited about that.. Hopefully everything goes well and they get good seats..
Alright Friends And Hates, I’ll check U later.. My paying Job is waiting for me.. –U NEED ONE!
click here to contact me him - 05:37 p.m.
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on Monday, January 12, 2004
I'm Chillin Here At Home.. Catching up with some paintings I have need to turn In For Art.. I was just thinking about my Trip Down TO San Diego this weekend.. And I'm really excited for the most part.. But a lil Sadden BEcause OF My girl Cartier.. She Decided that She isn't coming because Of Some Drama Down therrrr... But U know what Girl.. Just like I did to U.. "Show the mutha Yo Stuff So She can Shut UP".. (INSIDE JOKE)
click here to contact me him - 09:57 p.m.
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on Sunday, January 11, 2004
Dear Mr Or Mrs. "Damn" & Mr. Or Mrs. "get over yourself", from the tag board message board …
It has came to my attention that some people take what I say very offensive.. and very immature.. They seem to critique my writing and thoughts with a vein of obsession. Although they hide their identity with cowardly names such as the ones above, I would like to thank you guys very much, because it shows that people really care what I say, and they come back everyday too see if I’ve updated or not. And for the record people.. I’m Not doing this journal for all U CheLoCruzers, shit I don’t give a damn about u guys… Nigga-I’m doing this for me.. & by having you guys taging my board, its just bringing people back for the entertainment! -Thank U for that!- good luck!
Your best friend -JOSE
click here to contact me him - 01:55 p.m.
back up
on Sunday, January 11, 2004
Weekend..Day 1, January 10, 2004
My Mom woke me Up this morning talking ‘bout she wanted me to cut the grass and dig a hole for the pond she wants to make. I was a sleep in the Living room because my nieces and Nephews were here for the weekend and I gave up my bedroom, so last night (early morning) when I got home, I just changes really quick to my sleep clothes and threw everything In my room.. SO Now, the condoms that I had in my Pants are gone.. and everything Is Put away… any day now I’m expecting “the SEX talk” With my mom..
Yeah.. So my prediction was as accurate as a mutha!.. Cartier Hella Drunk!.. Um-hum.. She was holding back.. But She took a few shots.. (shes an Alcoholic)..
After Driving around in Atwater looking for this party.. We decided to head back to Merced, and go to this party Cartier knew about.. Shoot.. It was packed in that lil house… but the party didn’t start until me and Cartier brought the music. We were hella Bumping that shit.. and everyone was Dancing.. It was poppen as a mutha!!.. (exactly exactly) ..
After a while, The party started getting too crowed, so we left.. …the party didn’t end till WE left.. .. Haha.. SHIT!..
We caught up with some dudes.. and decided to go kick it at their house.. We followed them And.. shoot they were driving hella crazy.. We soon got to these big ASS NEW Houses by Rivera.. and as soon as we got out.. we noticed a police man right behind the other peoples car.. RUSSHOE Hella Panicked, and Threw his Bottle Of beer under the car.. while the rest of Us Just laid it Cool.. No one really got in trouble except for the minor that was with us.. She Had to Get escorted home..
then We Left back to russhoe’s home girls House, chilled a bit, then they took me home.. (U know my mom woulda died if I didn’t wake up at home).. Over all I had soo Much fun.. We’re gonna do It all over again tonight after I get outta work.. Peace NIGZ..
Weekend…Day 2, January 11, 2004 (that night)
God damn.. There was a shooting at some party that we were gonna go to.. and they blocked off all of Olive, and we were in the middle of that shit.. We didn’t know that red and blue lights means stop.. so we just kept going.. and we had this police chasing us.. Soon as we realized it.. we stopped. We got questioned about the shooting, and we had no clue about it.... As soon as the cop let us go, we headed to Jack in the Crack to pick up people for this party we knew.. We told everyone to follow us, and we got the party crackin one mo’ ‘gin.. I didn’t come home till 5:00!.. Mom mom was a little worried.. but she wasn’t trippen that whole much.. I told her ass.. –Shoot.. I need a cell phone NIgga!. .
Oh and by the way.. My Mom told me she put the condoms in the closet, and didn’t question me.. …. And again.. CARTIER HELLA DRUNK!
click here to contact me him - 01:45 p.m.
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shit... on Friday, January 9, 2004
damn nigga shoot, I'm hella bord at cartier's house,we're waiting for a ride to go get faded both ways! shit..and U know Cartier's ass is gonna get funked up!.. Shoot.. shes denying it right now..but U know when she be smelling that shit, shes like mating season for rabbits!
Um.. let me see.. any new updates? well I got high for the first time in the longest!..DOn't hate sisters! shoot.. But Let me tell U.. I was trippen!.. Shit.. I swore everyone was talking shit about me.. and I felt like a tweaker.. I think Joe Mochel Put some kind of SHit in that to make it more powerful.. Well I gotta go ..Our ride is here.. I'll update tomorrow!
LOVE JOSE
click here to contact me him - 10:24 p.m.
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on Tuesday, January 6, 2004
Alright!.. Looks like I’m going to San Diego next weekend!. . . . Andrea Found me a ride.. and Now we’re heading down the.. (16th, 17th, & 18th) I'm So excited.. gonna party likes its nineteen- Ninety – oh wait.. its already 2004.. opps..
Chillax! Is barely the beginning of the year!
click here to contact me him - 02:07 p.m.
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Life is BUT a box of chocolates!.. SHIT! on Monday, January 5, 2004
"Just Chillaxson smoking a bu'... don't be Healous!"
- ANONYMOUS
click here to contact me him - 09:56 p.m.
back up
on Monday, January 5, 2004
I wrote this Part of my journal on the bus, coming back from San Jose, I borrowed several pieces of paper from this Chick.. I can’t remember her name, all I know is that her stop ended in Modesto. .. thank U for the paper!. .
On January 4, 2004
The feeling is so calm around me, everyone is nestled in their reclining chair being cradled by the humming vibration of the bus’s engine. My journey back home began approximately at 7:05, when the bus driver honked three times before backing up. I have no clue what environment awaits me back home. I have no idea if my mother took it as a threat that I had the guts to leave her stingy ways, and enjoy my last four days of winter break in San Jose at my sisters house.
I start daydreaming and my mind floods with thoughts as I look out the window of the grey hound bus. I keep questioning myself. “what the fuck did I do wrong?” In the book of Law, I sure didn’t commit a crime. Its times like those, that I ask myself, “Why does my mom have to be so self centered?. Why does she blow things out of proportion, and why is she just pain Un-cool?”
Staying with my sister really cheered me up. I slept really comfortable, and woke very well rested. I laid on her velvet colored carpet, looking around at her vintage crown-molding, and thought to myself, “How come I can’t stay In this PIMP pad?” Further more down the train of thoughts.. I began thinking.. “My sister is such a strong dependent person that doesn’t take shit from anyone who holds her behind. She doesn’t need a Juvenile deliquesced 18 year old trying to survive independency with her. She needs her privacy, and me - I’m not sure what I need.. but I’m sure I’ll need it when It comes.
In the Next few months, I’ll have to come up with a plan B just in case nothing falls through after graduation.. (remember I consider myself Not a senior anymore, I just need to graduate) From the way I look at things right now.. I’m really trying to Hit Up San Diego right now, and DO What Ant wants to do.. (Go to The J.C over there, and just transfer after getting all credits. .. While working and Hanging out)
I switched buses in Livermore and continued my Journey back home at approximately 7:00 P.M. I should arrive in Merced at 9:05. Cartier is going to pick me up, which I’m really grateful for, otherwise I would’a walked home. But if Plans change, and Cartier never makes it to the bus station, I won’t have to worry about rain, because Unlike tonight, the day I walked to catch the san Jose bus, it was raining. –Yep-me-I walked 3 miles in the rain with a 85 pound brief case, only to show my mom that I didn’t need her help. – yes I know, very stubborn of, but I knew I didn’t need her help.. shit!..
My Bus again stopped, but this time in Tracey. I yet still haven’t fully broke in the sattle. I yet haven’t looked around my surroundings since the first bus. I borrowed a notebook and pen from this young lady I sat next too in the previous bus. Quencidently, she took the same bus as I did the second time around, and now she’s directly sitting behind me. The People and environment in this bus flipped a bitch compared to the other bus. Everyone here is Old & is only a mix of wetbacks and Black folks. I can tell that the lady next to me feels uncomfortable, probably due to her layers of clothes, or maybe because of me –It’s either one or the other.
Man I need to take a fat piss, but the bathroom light on the bus is red. I can’t figure out if that light means that its being used or if its unoccupied. Its been quite a while now, and I don’t wanna walk all the way back there for nothing… I guess I’ll hold.
I feel like I gained a lot leaving San Jo. Even though I left with minus 0.00.. ( Hehehe, I’m a heavy spender, I ain’t trippen) Lemme see.. I got there one Thursday, January 1st & we chilled at her “casa” all day. We caught up on some memories from that previous summer. I bought her a cam for her computer because she has been wanting one.. so we fooled around with that all night while the kids watched some movies. The next morning I woke Up because Andrew ( My nephew) turned on the T.V. My sister was still passed out, sleeping because she basically stayed up all night long. . We waited for Chano( her Husband) 2 picked up the kids.. finally he came, and we were off to hit the streets.. we tried looking for some tattoo parlors but it was too late, they were all closed.. (No luck on my tattoo.. I still need to pick a good design) We made plans to go to san Fran in the morning, so we headed back home..
The next morning We set off to San Fran like two gorillas getting it on in the jungle.. .. Our first stop was Height and Asbury street.. Now let me tell U folks.. you’ve never seen San Francisco stores until U hit those streets up.. We found some of the weirdest shit in the world. My Sister and I had a BLAST! Afterwards we hit Downtown Up.. We had to get all decked out for the CLUbs that night-U know since it was Saturday Night. We bought Our shit, headed home-got dressed, and headed back to San Francisco. ( that’s how we do it up in the bay, none of that pussy ‘I aint got no gas money shit’- U gotta be on ur toes or U’ll get run the fuck over!!)
So we got to this club.. and from the minute I stepped in to that Room where the dance floor was.. I knew that this was gonna be interesting.. The club was soo Popping. We had girls in cages dancing like they had fire coming out of their Budusses!.. and I swear to u, it had to be like 105 degrees in the Dance floor!.. the People we so Freakie!- and I Mean FUCKING FREAKIE_DEEKIE! Okay- think about that nastiest porn movie you’ve ever seen, now times that by 10, and add clothes.. that’s how these tricks were dancing!.. I had So Much fun.. even though I felt outta place because I went too Dressed Up ( thanx sister).. the style was so Retro, and Just laid back.. Something U’d wear to a regular Party.. But shoot.. next time.. I’mma go all Pimped out .. shit!!...
Monday, January 05, 2004 ( the next morning )
I got to my 1a class like 15 minutes late, because I walked my happy ass in the Cold Fucking 30 degree morning!. By the time I got there, my eyes hurted, my Cheeks were so numb.. My ears felt like they were on fire, and My Feet kept on cramping up.. Basically I was about to hit up hypothermia! When I got in my class.. it felt overwhelmingly worm that I kept on coughing, and my nose was running a fucken marathon.! As soon as the door closed behind me, Theresa jokingly sarcastically yelled out. “You’re Early!!”.. My teacher Mr. Crawford made some Comment, and I just threw everyone off and said, “Does this face look like I know I’m LATE?” for some reason, when I sat down, I started tearing up.. My body ached, and people didn’t even have a clue what I went through. Theresa Saw that I was very tensed and emotionally dawned down, and Apologized, and asked if I wanted to talk about it. .. “Naw.. I’ll get over it” I responded…….. after 45 minutes of trying to catch up with whatever Mr. Crawford was telling the class, we were excused, and I soon forgot about the rough start in the morning… I walked with Theresa And Landon. My Day later took a better route.
As soon as I got home I dropped my shit off in my Room, and Was about to leave my room , I saw my mom there standing in the doorway. She asked if we could talk about our situation. She seemed very serious and blank. We sat down, and We talked for about 30 minutes. She basically apologized. And that was it. I told her to not even trip because I needed a good excuse to go to Marias house anyways.. I hugged her and chilled with Manchita for the Rest of the afternoon. I bet U guys didn't have nearly as werid break I as I DID!
Shot out to my Sisters Who I both Love dearly. U know.. we’re just like onions. We have different layers, and every time we hit a point in life, we can go ahead and shed those layers to reveal more of ourselves. I’m glad to say that I shed my first layer sometime between the 1st and now.. – I credit U too for that.. Thank U!
-JOSE
click here to contact me him - 07:43 p.m.
back up
on Thursday, January 1, 2004
On the road again.. I just arrived in San Jose!.. What A trip.... My feet hurt..
click here to contact me him - 02:38 p.m.
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Jose, U got Balls.. -cartier... on Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Remember that Vanessa Girl I was talking about earlier the one who I gave the “Big American What’s Up”.. well she IMed me Just right now.. Check out what she said
B*S*n*L*s*A*i*A*:
"fucking you grow up .. dude .. i haven't seen all of break .. i am not even going to get in to this with you .. you are the one you needs to grow up .. i haven't seen you ONCE.! .. and don't flatter yourself bout thinking i read your journal .. i was "informed".! .. uG-eK .. bYe!"
Well if U didn’t see me, then why are U trippen?.. stop shagging.. they’re just words ‘cu! & besides.. doesn't Ur site Specifically state the following.. (And I quote)
"If you have nothing nice to say .. PLEASE feel free to say it!! Everyone has their own opinions .. even if I do think that they are stupid and narrow minded .. I am completely open to letting those express the stupid and narrow minded stuff ..."..
Ahww....- fresh smell of success!!
Keep staying tuned!- Love Jose!
click here to contact me him - 09:21 p.m.
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79 New Montgomery street San Francisco, Ca. 94105 on Monday, December 29, 2003
Do Big things Come in small Packages?.. When You see a present, and it’s the size of a nickel, do U expect it to be a million dollar diamond under that rapping? Or do you automatically assume that it’s a piece of shit cheap dollar-tree scratch, that’s not even worth trying on, or fitting “In”? Well you Know, diamonds do come from coal.. & if you add water, and a lot of tender love & care, “it” might rise to the occasion, and grow some more.. (inside joke)
Tomorrow My Step-dad, Niece, Momma, And I Are going to San Francisco.. I got an invitation to an Orientation to a “Open House” sorta deal, at the San Francisco Academy of Arts and I’mma go check it out.. I really excited about it..
Other news.. –My parents are leaving for new YEARS!.. Woooo!..
Oh Geez.. Guess what!.. I Almost Died!.. I was driving down to the Gym.. *wink wink*.. and then all of a sudden.. Boom!.. A flash of light appeared in front of me!.. Some fuse broke, and all the lights around me went dead.. and I was in Meier darkness!.again.a shock of blue light shone in front of me,.. and I thought I was gonna die !.. Anyways// Just wanted to Share with U~!
click here to contact me him - 10:34 p.m.
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What the Fuck.. Why My lips so chapped? on Sunday, December 28, 2003
Alright-so the exhilaration on New Years is jUst around the Corner.. and since I don’t have my ID…** yet.. (still in process) I’m not gonna be able to go “Out” to da Clubs.. Its ‘ight though.. I got the 411 on a couple of Parties.. (EveryoNE IS INVITED!).. Haha.. We’ll see where my mom goes for New years.. I’ll see if I can get her ass outta the house!.. HAha.. J/k..
click here to contact me him - 08:58 p.m.
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Do it, Do it!, Do IT!.take another shot!... on Sunday, December 28, 2003
I have to rate last night a failing grade of an “F”..! I had fun, but yet.. We did some stupid ass shit!. First of all… Stacey lives in a fucked up atmosphere where when there is Alcohol present, (I’m sorry girl.. I love U though).. the Two couples living with her flirt with every other person-even up to the point if having SEX!.. I was there getting raped by this ex-over weight twenty five year old women, while this married dude went around taking pictures with girls grabbing their boobs unexpectedly.. –(Huh Cartier) (Most of these girls were Under aged!)
I think I despised last night with a passion… I was in a weird stage.. . Have you guys ever had those nights where U have fun.. but U feel so fucked up and undercoated? Again Cartier Was drinking, experimenting with jellow shots… she kept bringing up some stuff about my Junior year that I didn’t see.. Now I know that my high school experiences were a mere mirage.. she reminded me of Maria.. Homecoming.. and how I made a joke out of myself in homecoming and Winterfest..-Yea thanks guys for not telling me!. Its koo though..
“People you’ll never expect was talking shit” –Cartier
Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE my Journal.. This is the key to my High school life.. even if people disagree with what I have to say.. I enjoy it-and from the looks of my counter, I looks like everybody else does too, or else why would they be coming back for more?..
So Yeah.. I saw “them” .. shoot they weren’t anything special.. They actually looked normal.. I expected “them” too look like “M’s”.. ( they didn’t, because unlike ‘M’s” her suckie-suckie part was pretty intact and unreconstructed for being the size that they are.) “She” said that they looked better when She Layed down … How would I know?.. And that was it.. I saw them.. and she walked out.. I thought to myself.. wait a min.. this is the perfect time!.. I called her back in and said check this out… Zip.. (Now what BITCH).. talk about them “lil” jokes.. –Ummmmmm-Hummmm.. shoot..
ahw look, how cute, mugsy and billibob just logged on!
Oh YEah.. One more thing before I log off.. I saw Nicole & Vanessa Hoffmanz azz.. Oh my lord.. word of advice.. GROW UP!.. and vanessa if that doesn't work out for u,- try to take Up vollyball again, maybe you'll drop a few!.
-LOVE JOSE.. 
click here to contact me him - 12:54 p.m.
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Life and death on Saturday, December 27, 2003
I can’t help but imagine my web site.. and how It’s a replica of my life.. If I die tomorrow.. People will know what I felt the day before.. And stuff .. Isn’t that cool.. ?.. Well there I go again.. Don’t U hate thinking about life and death? by the way.. this aint not Suicide note.. its just a thought..
click here to contact me him - 06:35 p.m.
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Wuzzzzzzzzzz----uP!! on Saturday, December 27, 2003
Grand total.. Drum roll please…. 3!.. Manchita only had three pups.. Two Bitches, and a dude.. Isn’t that the cutest thing in the world?.. I named the guy “Negro”-Which means black in Spanish-because he has the same color pattern as Manchita, but in black.. the other two bitches are light Brown-almost white.. They’re extremely identical, their named Cherry and Pinky.. I still can’t figure out who’s –who.. I’m so Happy.. I’m a daddy now.. well I prefer to just be the uncle, because I promised myself I would Never be a dad!. Haha..
So Last night me and Andrea Chilled again.. it was her last night in Merced before she left back to San Diego. I took the night off, and we went out. Their really wasn’t anything going on.. We went to the mall because Andrea wanted to see Rusty.. Then afterwards we headed towards Donna’s house.. Nissa & Cathy were there.. We played air hockey for a while.. –Watched the San Diego Video tape.. (which by the way was the funniest thing in the world- Cartier, U’z a freak, I aint ever getting drunk wit ur ass AGAIN.. haha) Then after that we headed to starbucks because I always get the hook ups there.. We phoned some peeps.. and Went to “Best Western Hotel” Where we saw Greg, Joey, Kristian, Stephanie, and these other dudes that were so Funny.. We ended the night, and I came home.. I tired giving Andrea some Dinero because I knew how tight things are with her right now living in San Diego.. She never took it.. I had a cool night.. Now I wanna Move To Diego!..
I got a call from San Francisco Academy of Arts yesterday. They’re trying to get me to go there.. and Now I’m pretty interested… we were invited to this orientation on the 3rd.. Me and my momma are going 2 see how things are ova there.. Maybe I’ll get lucky and get full ride baby!.. we’ll see.. If Not.. I better start looking for a room mate for san Diego.. _Shoot.. I ain’t staying here to rot like a bitch..
click here to contact me him - 02:59 p.m.
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on Friday, December 26, 2003
It’s a Girl!.. it’s a Boy!.. It’s a Girl AgaiN!.. it’s 2 girls and a Boy!..Manchita Had Puppies.. Or should I say Is having Pups.. She started labor around 3:30.. its been about three hours already, and she’s had three pups.. we’re guessing she’s going to have more.. I better go.. I need to be by her side!.. Later!..
click here to contact me him - 06:26 p.m.
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How come Our school didn't come up with that? on Thursday, December 25, 2003
Check this out.. I found while surfing the net.. This is some funny ASS shit!
A few Years ago "Hanover High School" in Pennsylvania underwent the removal of some pictures from their up going year book because of some.. obscene gesture that most students were flashing in the photos..
As so..
It is a gesture meant to indicate a sexual act, wherein the first and second fingers enter a vagina, while the errant pinky plunges into the anus..; also taking other names such as..
"Two in the pink and one in the stink",
"two in the coot and one in the boot",
"going to town with one in the brown".
Yes, quite rude, but funny as a mutha fo
click here to contact me him - 05:43 p.m.
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Merry Christmas EveryonE!.. on Thursday, December 25, 2003
I received a Call from my Cousin-“Adrian” this Christmas Morning. It was the greatest awakening I’ve had in the longest time-just to hear my old “Best Cousin” Whom I’ve grown apart with ever since I moved up North. (Thank you very much for that Christmas present “Pachi”.)that’s his nick name, just like mine is “che”… He’s a Year older than me, and Goes to some college in Colorado in the mountains. We were considered Twin brothers by how close we were to each other, and how remarkably similar we looked as little children. We had dreams of growing up together as children… But now- We’re so Different. And our dreams, and destination are have gone in different directions. .. I regret ever losing contact with any close relatives. In a sense, now, from where I stand in life.. I’d prefer to gain more with the people around me like my two older sisters, who I take for granted more one than the other.. To my mother- Who Loves me more than her life, while I-distant myself, trying to grow on my own, just like the eagle does when he tries for his first flight.
Life’s but a walking poor man, who struts his legs-the only reason for his living. …. .. ..
I went to the Movies with my Mother this early afternoon. I invited her to see “The Last Samurai”, Since I have no friends to invite. . .. ( Inside Joke) –Other than that, the Movie was the greatest I’ve had ever seen. It made me consider Tom Cruise a really great Actor. –something I rarely give a male actor credit for, just because I’m stubborn. I love China and Japan. . . I told my mom while we left the movies, that I wanted to move to Japan now.. We both laughed about it.. She’s beginning to know that I want to do So Much in my life, that I’m extremely eager to leave now and get a head start..
I’ve been doing more heavy thinking again about life after high school.. I only have five more months until graduation. I talked with a couple of buds this last few nights.. and I think that my heart is set on San Diego. I’m talking about the roommates, the J.C, the working, the traveling.. I’m pretty siked. .
My Mom is just about to get her gettie out.. Shes going to my aunties house in Modesto for the Christmas dinner they always have.. I decided to stay behind, only because I don’t enjoy being around family right now.. I need more of my free time.. I need to paint some paintings, and get some thoughts out of my head. I’ve decided to take up yoga-and get in touch with my spiritual side. So I need to privacy and quietness to do so-considering that being nude is best performed while doing yoga.. –So I heard.. alright folks..
I’ll hear U later.. if U read me Now..
click here to contact me him - 03:04 p.m.
back up
on Tuesday, December 23, 2003
(Sunday- 21 of December)
Unlike Andreas Party last summer, (shoot…) “I” checked my parents bedroom after cleaning the “THE WORLD” out of my house, U know, making sure I don’t make the mistake of over looking the fact that somebody could have messed up their bedroom..no one did.. It was just a figure of speech.. anyways.. It wasn’t much, Only but a few old acquaintances Last night.. But I have to admit, things did get pretty out of hand with a certain “person”, Which again, I have to admit, I was asking for it.
It was Just like the movies. People do let everything out when they’re drunk. Cartier Brought up some Issues that, Me as a person Needs to change. She didn’t say it to me directly, But I got a clue from what she was pointing out. I didn’t feel right. Everything was lifted out of the way, and we all acted like if nothing happened last summer. I think it was the wrong way to restart.
I woke Up from the sound of running water. Cartier was cleaning my sheets because she had left me a surprise from her over dose on Alcohol. Now I have a friendly reminder of Cartier. To bad It’s the smell of her throw-up on my bed, which I’ll sleep uncomfortably for now on. .. Actually Its not that bad.. I cleaned it up very well. I gave it a few scrubs with Boiling water, And Sat their drying it up with a blow dryer for an hour. After that, I gave it a few squirts of My, “Aqua Di GIO”, By Armani, and flipped the mattress around.
Over all I had so Much Fun.. Thanks U guys for coming.. That Was my New years Celebration.. To bad I’m not DRINKING EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE!
(Tuesday, December 23)
I just found out that my Real Name Is-- first name-“JoseCruz” middle name-“Arias” and last name “Lopez”.. I went and took My Drivers test..(I have the behind the wheel scheduled for the 6th of January by the way). Anyways.. We had all these paper work to go through to actually find out what My real name is.. Its entirely my moms fault.. Back in the day when I was born, She was still in her Wet Back faze, So She didn’t understand the Paper work, and just wrote everything down on “BLAH”.. So Comes to Show that I’m not who I think I am.. –SO Weird.. Well I gotta Go.. Andrea Mitchell Just called me, and I’m soo Siked she’s down from San Diego.. She’s my best bud.. We might chill tonight after Work..
click here to contact me him - 04:08 p.m.
back up
on Sunday, December 14, 2003
I just finished decorating our Christmas tree. I, like always, was the only one actually doing it, because I have, so called “artistic ability to see decorations easier”- whatever the hell that means. My mom had mentioned that, when I leave, she won’t put a tree up for Christmas no longer, making me realize, that I plan to leave after high school, meaning this was the last year of a Christmas tree in this house. Geez mom.. Merry Christmas to you too!.. anyways.. so back to what I was saying about our Christmas tree.. I think outta all the trees I’ve seen.. this year, ours is the best.. It looks like it was done by a family that actually loves each other, and took time To decorate it together.. Which in my case, Is completely the opposite.
So I turn 18 this Tuesday. I don’t think we’re even going to celebrate it. One thing I DO know, is this weekend, my parents are going outta town, and after and hour a lectures, I got the agreement that I-Yes-Me am staying home by myself for over 48 hours of loneliness, *YES!*..but.. Of course I work all weekend.. But still.. I’d be home with no worries what so ever!. I can walk around naked with out the slightest doubt that someone might come home... HAha.. ( just a thought)
-What to do When I turn 18?.. hum.. I dunno if I should get a tattoo.. Or a Piercing.. Or maybe neither.. or even Both!.. Nah.. Maybe not to extreme… One thing that has been giving me an attraction for myself is.. “the Prince Albert” –It’s a piercing that has to do with your Penis. ..Lets Just keep it as that..
the other day I decided to Give Cartier a lil “Lets forget the past” sorta Note in her Webbie. .. The truth is that, I’m pretty sure we’ve grown soo Much part.. And that’s totally find.. I’m glad we did.. I’m not even trying to find that Exact friendship we once had.. I just find it immature a dumb when We encounter ourselves when around other friends, and act like We never knew each other.. That’s it.. that’s all I wanna fix.. “the Weirdness”..
Bu anyways.. I better go.. I have a box of chocolates with my name on them in the fridge. .. Peace.. !
-Jose
click here to contact me him - 10:58 a.m.
back up
on Tuesday, December 9, 2003
..."If every word I said, Could make U laugh, I'd talk forever.." -Beach Boys
click here to contact me him - 08:23 p.m.
back up
on Monday, December 8, 2003
Like always, Today I walked Home from school, and on the way, guess who I saw?.. Joe Mochel.. He was driving a moped.. he looks so funny.. when he passed me he honked with his lil horn and yelled, "I gotta get to work".. It was a kodack moment..
click here to contact me him - 05:28 p.m.
back up
on Sunday, December 7, 2003
Today I walked Home from the gym. I was layered with a shirt, and two sweaters w/ hoods, So the cold didn’t bother me. I couldn’t help but to notice the Moon.. It seemed rather brighter than usual. Bright enough, that the shadows of the distant trees were darker than the Sky itself. I was able to make out the stars rather easily. For a moment I stood and stared at the panoramic view of the sky. I felt like the sky was resting on my shoulders.. and I was weak-about to drop it.
Its funny how when you look at a beautiful view of nature, it makes you think of your life, and all the sacrifices U made to get to the point of where you’re at-at that point. I thought about my Eights grade year; when I thought I was such a hot shot.. I thought I was the ultimate babe magnet, and toughest wanna be gangster, Until.. I got the scare of my life when I was given a taste of my own medicine, and almost got my ass whooped.
I remembered my Freshman year. I was …… in LOVE…… Maria came into the picture, and I’ve been slobbering over here ever since. She never gave me a chance.. I tried so hard to be what she wanted in a guy. (smart, friendly, sensitive, committed, and most importantly religious. ) And since she was always reading books on relationships, I made sure I got the title of the book so I can read it myself, so we’d have things in common. Now when I see her around, I play it off like She never effected me in my life. I make it seem like shes just a regular person, whom I wave to, chat for a second, then turn and walk away.. but in my heart, shes still the one
I remembered my Sophomore year.. it was the most horrible year of all!. I had dropped to my lowest depress point to date. I was so confused about everything, and I didn’t know where my mixed emotions were coming from. I hadn’t a clue what was happing to me. I hated it.. almost to the point where I didn’t want to live. I knew that I had to make a change in my life, and decided to get involved in my school, which led me to run for president. To my surprise, I won, and the next the year I became “Junior class president”.
My Junior year, I discovered so much of myself. I saw how easily things came to me.. I discovered that I liked to dance… and mix music, and form activities In which benefited my class. I met Anthony Miles, who inspired me in so many ways.. I loved that year to my dearest.
As I arrived home from the gym.. I saw my step dad getting something from his third car that’s parked outside. He heard the leaves that were being crunched from every foot step I took, and turned around to see who was coming. “Hello to U too” I thought when he just turned around and continued with his shit.
Making sure my mom knew I was home, I yelled out, “Momma, I’m Home” as I closed the door.
“U shoulda called me”
-“Its okay Mom” I interrupted her, While I took my backpack off.
“god jose, U know what-I figure that I’m not gonna ask u, or suggest U anything- anymore because it seems like U get irritated when I say something” she yelled. .
“What are U talking about, I just said that it was ‘OKAY’”..
just then.. My step dad walked in the kitchen where my mom and I were.. He gave some mail to my mom, saying, “Here, Jose has some Mail”..
WHAT THE HELL!.. I’M IN THE SAME FUCKING ROOM!... WHY WON”T U HAND IT TO MEE!!???...
See the thing is that my moms always bitching that me and my sisters, Especially my sisters should say hi to Patrick, or bye, whenever he’s in the house.. What the fuck.. When is he gonna do his part?.. geez.. I feel like a slave sometimes.. Like just because my mom married the fool.. We have to make it comfortable for him while his lazy ass sits around expecting people to do things for him.. AHH!H..
See how Complicated my life is!.. One minute I’m walking home from the gym, thinking happy thoughts.. then the next minute I come to the shit-hole of where I Live.. How do people think teenagers are suppose to cope with that shit?
I dropped off an application at Gottschalks today.. Oh-and Also I did two applications online, and one resume for gottschalks as well.. I hope they call me.. soon..
click here to contact me him - 08:39 p.m.
back up
As of Now.. on Saturday, December 6, 2003
I Went 2 the Car Auction IN Modesto Today with My MOmmie!.. I had the greatest time.. it was rainy as fuck, But the auction was such a good experience.. We saw a Car- regular price 0,000 go for ,500- That Was a fucking bargain like WHOW! We really didn’t find anything…Well Actually-I lied.. We did.. But we kept being out-bid.. Its all good though… I’m Looking for a second job again.. since Ambrosia closed, and I figure that I’ll have enough money in three months to Buy a big ball’n car.. Or maybe at least shit with wheels.. haha..
My Nieces and Nephew are here.. they’re gonna spend the night because My oldest sister Vanessa, and Her husband went out on a date or something.. ‘go figure’.. I think they’re just trying to spice up their love life-(if U ask ME) .. Anyways.. So The kids brought their lil pup along.. and it looks like I’ll be up all night because the lil cute shit won’t shut up.. Geez.. such sacrifice I make for my loving sister.. ( I hope U got a nice piece of that ass, or vise versa at ur mini get-away.hehe j/k)
Just came in from the Gym again.. and.. I think.. Its been a month already since I’ve gone.. I’m really liking the results right now.. My pecs are forming.. and Six-pack is getting into form.. and My Arms Are tightening up.. .. I enjoy showers even more now.. haha.. I didn’t get out of the gym till 10:00!.. I spent 4 freaking hours there!.. half of the time I was talking with some Guys I met.. They were giving me some pointers, and what I Should do-and what I shouldn’t.. Its all So Confusing!.. Everybody says something different… and they all have their own opinion..
Hum.. Any other news?.. Um.. Nah… I don’t think So.. I wanna give a shout out to my sister Maria In San Jose.. “I’ve just been thinking about U a whole LOT!.. I hope Ur doing good.. And Ur always In My prayers.. One day.. in the future.. I see Us-(or everybody) In New York, Living the life.. Having a drink-kicking back.. Till then.. Keep Ur Head high sister.. I love U More than I have ever before.. Ur the sister I knew I had, but didn’t actually get to know U till Utmost recently.. Take care.... BOOGIE-BOARD!.. **AHHHHHHHHHH*!!!!! ‘sleep with one EYE open’…. Badussy!.. 5 words.. “Floating Tooth In Fish Tank.. !.. lol- great times..
click here to contact me him - 10:47 p.m.
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How come My election speech wasn't such as effective as my Debate assignment? on Friday, December 5, 2003
Today I had my debate in American Government Class..I was “con” on Making English the official U.S Language.. And Let me tell U.. I KICKED some Major ass!.. I’m so Proud of myself.. I kept firing Information at them making them Speechless Not giving them a chance to think.. HAha.. I laugh at the face of danger!.. Haha
click here to contact me him - 06:42 p.m.
back up
on Wednesday, December 3, 2003
We got a new refrigerator this afternoon.. the lights Are extremely bright.. so bright that it feels like I’m getting a tan when I pour myself a glass of milk… it Was SO Gloomy today! It was foggy, dark, and sorta medium Cold..
There really isn’t anything going on In my LIFE.. .as of now.. I decided to wait and finish high school .. But that’s about it,. And Still.. I work my ass off for my stripper bod..
click here to contact me him - 06:35 p.m.
back up
on Monday, December 1, 2003
Its Official.. My Non Pup; Manchita is all Grown up.. Shes One Now, and Also Pregnant !.. Her Nipplelies are Huge.. So I’m Pretty Siked about that!
I worked all of my four day weekend except for Thanksgiving.. Some Old Pals OF Mine came to Coldstone To give me the what’s up, and OF course eat ice cream.. Courtney Mason Came Down From Davis To visit chat alil bit.. We might go to Formal.. “If I decide to Go” ..
Even Lalaine Came Down And Gave a shout out.. She was with a bunch Of Friends.. They were celebrating Rustles Birthday.. and They all went out that night.. (I’m pretty Sure they had FUN)…
Well I’m Out.. Just wanted to Update.. !
click here to contact me him - 12:57 p.m.
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"like the famous words of the Turkey.. 'gobble gobble gobble'.." on Thursday, November 27, 2003
Happy Thanksgiving Ya’ll!.. I’m Glad the dinners over NOW!.. Poor mommie.. She did Such a wonderful Job on it.. but I felt Outta Place There in the dinner table with Her and my stepdad.. Today was the first time I decided to accompany them at the dinner table.. And frankly I couldn’t wait to finish my food and leave.. I realized that slowly but surly, I grew apart from them every time I ate dinner in my room. I couldn’t stand the way Patrick ate, and sipped his drink; Every noise he made.. it was like he didn’t have ears. Thank God For Music, or else I woulda Died.. That’s WHAt I was thankful for.. –MUSIC. Another thing I couldn’t keep myself from noticing was my mom.. She tried soo much to Make It A normal family dinner.. but she kept looking at me everytime Patrick sipped his cup.. or Sucked on his cornless cob.. She knew He disturb me more than he does her.. I love MY mom.. Thank U mom For the dinner U made..
click here to contact me him - 08:57 p.m.
back up
on Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Dang Folks.. (I’ve been saying that a lot lately.. “folks”-I dunno why.. It’s a faze.. ) ..
My parents Just Left to Church With their “NEW CAR”.. Yep.. Can U believe that shit?.. They Now have Three Cars.. Can They Torture me any MORE? Why didn’t they spend that extra cash on ME?.. Like For MY car for example!.. geez.. And U know what?.. I have a feeling my mother was testing me.. Because She Left Both Cars Here.. With the Keys Wide Open In the kitchen..*extremely attentive* .. I almost did it. But Before I did.. I Went out and check if there was a trap somewhere..because I knew it was Too goo TO be true.. And To my surprise, and with the helpful use of my flashlight.. I discovered that My Mother Pulled out that thingie that will trigger the alarme if the key is set in the ignition. *good try mom, but once again.. I out smarted you!* hehe..
So We’re spending Thanksgiving herre at Home.. My mom is making a big ass dinner for Three People.. (ME, Her, AND MY STEPDAD).. It gonna BE soo Boring Tomorrow For thanksgiving.. I really Wanna Go get wasted with My old friends like Olden times.. I really miss that.. I’m tired of The Drama.. I’m SOo Over it.. that’s Soo High school.. And Soo Under 18.. * ** 20 more days BABY!! & the big one-eight** * ..
I should really go to the gym.. But I really don’t feel soo Hott.. I think I’m coming down with the Gee-dee-be-geez.. .. I hate that FLU!..
*recent News.. I started a NEw Website.. I still haven't Figured out what I'mma Put in it.. I'll share it with U guys Once I'm comfortable with it.. A'ight? .. P.S Whats with my background!.. I worked SOO HArd ON it.. and it WOn't show!.. GOD-DAMN IT!
Well I’m Out.. Give me a HOLLA IF U wanna Hang out this Week End!..
click here to contact me him - 07:45 p.m.
back up
on Sunday, November 23, 2003
Updates On My Life During the Weekend.. .
So I guess I’m feeling Better In More ways than Others.. I Can Finally say I’m Over Megan, to some extent. I know I can at least go by a day without thinking about her. I stop having the erg in calling her, and I focus More When I paint and shit.. .
I’ve moved on to Other things.. Like my Future, which Now Seems Everywhere.. I think I’ve decided in Looking into Graduating earlier than my class. Like testing my way out in the next few months. I’m also thinking in moving with My sister In San Jose, Work Full time, and Help her with rent and things she needs. I might Save up to Go To the Institute of Arts IN San Francisco.. I can Probably get financial aid (full ride) Because I’ll be paying rent, and have low income.. Maybe after a while, like years or something.. I can go To Asia, like Joe Mochel, and Explore the world since everything in a 3rd world country is cheap.. travel to different places.. maybe fall in love.. I dunno.. Where ever the wind takes me. OR I’m thinking in Being a Life guard in the bay area, and Surf everyday.. and become a beach bum.. anything but, what my mom calls “HOME”
Its really hard to say, but My relationship with my mother had died today.. She and I both know it.. We’ve talked a lot, and Argued a lot.. We both agreed that we don’t hate each other, and never did.. but the matter is that we can’t live together no longer.. I’m completed satisfied with that result.. I knew it for a while now.. Today my sisters were here, and they got a taste of what I go through everyday with my mom.. For the oddest reason, We all bursted in tears knowing that we’ve grown apart... It was like One minute we’re in the kitchen eating egg rolls and talking, and the next minute, we all Cry. –It was loud and clear that my mom was getting old, and now she’s one of those mothers where U just follow along with whatever she says..
Hopefully I don’t run into a wall, and have smoot, my counselor keeping me from Doing it. I won’t Miss this Year if I leave.. I absolutely hate my senior year. Its not.. “the best year of my 4 years”.. it’s the worst. I hate it So much.. Not only school, but also Home. I wanna leave before I get depressed. The only happiness I get is when I think OF the summer, all the fun I had with my sister, the beach, My First Job.. and the liberty I had.. I felt like a grown person. I had a life. Responsibility..
click here to contact me him - 08:14 p.m.
back up
on Sunday, November 23, 2003
So Check it out.. MY new Background.. and by the way, that’s me kissing the mirror.. It doesn’t mean anything!.. This Weekend was So Much FUN!.. MY sister Maria Came Down To Visit ME.. (ahww I LOVE U).. and We took a lot of pictures.. I’ll post them as soon as I can.. So Anyways…. A lot went on.. and I’ll tell YA’ll in another time.. But for now I gotta Go to WORK!.. First day I work with Joe Mochel.. <--That’s gonna be interesting
click here to contact me him - 02:38 p.m.
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How much am I worth? on Thursday, November 20, 2003
Updates.. **. New PICTURE OF THE DAY!.. **
Today.. .. I chilled in the Sauna again to sweat my Frustration out.. mostly about Ambrosia Closing down, & party.. because of my bullshit world Coming down to a halt again!. The funny thing IS that While In there, I was SO Unfocused.. and I couldn’t concentrate with People In the Same room with ME. I tried IN closing my eyes.. But I remembered that its dangerous to do so when Ur IN the sauna.. (U can Faint) .. after a while, more and more people started chilling in there, and it got pretty loud.. I couldn’t Help but listen to these too Young fools Talking about.. Penis Enlargement Pills. PEOPLE NOWADAYS STILL DO THAT? .. God.. They were soo Dumb! .. it was one of those.. ‘U had to be there kinda things”
So I’m Walking Home From the Gym.. all Exhausted and sweaty after running two and half Miles, an hour of lifting weights, and sit-ups.. .. I leave the gym pretty much outta breath.. As I’m Approaching “Paul’s Place”.. ( a diner) I spot two girls exiting, and eyeing me, as though they were trying to make out my face… I sorta Grin, and Wave as I was about to Walk past them, When One of the girls Asked me If I was Jose.. It came to a complete shock to my weak skimpy self that Me.. Yes-I was Jose.. and Turn Around And ask “Yeah, WHY?”
“oh, -You went to Sadies With Megan”..
For that Split second, I bit my lip and thought.. “geez.. I can’t seem to get this girl outta My Head.. Shes EVERYWHERE!”
I responded with .. “negative”.. By which I tried Giving the hint that I didn’t wanna talk about it..
“So Wait U didn’t go with her?” one of them asked..
“No-Yeah I Did” and kept walking..
IS this All I’ve accomplished in my life?.. Is “Ur the Dude that went to sadies with Meg” gonna be the way I’m remembered?.. I Hope Hell the Fuck Not!.. Shit.. Its more like.. “Hey Ur the Dude Meg ‘Played’”
click here to contact me him - 10:21 p.m.
back up
on Monday, November 17, 2003
Ouch.. This Sucks. Here’s my lil convo I had with my Home boi…
CheCrz: HEy Whats Up MAn
BillieBob: whats up dude
BillieBob: not much u
CheCrz: just Came In From Work & the Gym.. I'm Pigging out
BillieBob: haha ic
CheCrz: How come U never told ME about U meg?
BillieBob: what was i supposed to say
BillieBob: i didnt think anything was going on
CheCrz: what IS going on
BillieBob: nothing that i know of
CheCrz: Did U know that shes all over Ur Nutts Right nOw?
BillieBob: yea i can kinda tell
CheCrz: whAT Does Nat Thing About it?
BillieBob: well meg liked me first i guess and nat was
supposed to find out about me for her, but that never happened
BillieBob: and nat started liking me
CheCrz: -Oh.. I never knew that
BillieBob: yea me either
CheCrz: Well Good Luck 2 Ya...
CheCrz: I hope U get farther than I did.. HAha
BillieBob: hahaha
CheCrz: Have they mentioned any thing about ME?
BillieBob: yeah they have
CheCrz: What have they Said?
BillieBob: well meg told me about u 2
CheCrz: Yeah thats not helping
CheCrz: WHat'd She say?
BillieBob: nothing
BillieBob: just about saides
BillieBob: and shit like that
CheCrz: Ur Killing Me..
BillieBob: how u guys were fighting or whatever
CheCrz: Outta Curiousty, Have U guys ever talked on the phone, when I call her?
BillieBob: what
CheCrz: like.. Have U two ever been on the phone together, and then I call her on the other line/
BillieBob: nope
CheCrz: R U lie'n?
BillieBob: she barely started talking me like 2 weeks ago
CheCrz: Oh.
CheCrz: Well that shut me- up
BillieBob: why is that
CheCrz: I dunno.. Maybe Because Our little Relationship ended too fast.. and it hurts..
CheCrz: -I guess
BillieBob: o i c u really liked her
CheCrz: -YEah I guess.. Some things More than Others..
BillieBob: oh
BillieBob: sorry dude
CheCrz: eh.. Its Cool.. I'm not even hate'n.. Ur my bro.. I'd hit that shit if it came my way...
BillieBob: haha
CheCrz: Word of advice.. Don't let her pull an "andreas" On U..
CheCrz: Just keep that in mind
BillieBob: whats an andreas
CheCrz: She'll tell U
BillieBob: alright
CheCrz: I said...."What's Gonna HAppen Now?.. Are U guys Talking?"
CheCrz: Dang.. U type so SLOOOWWW.
BillieBob50: umm i dont know whats gonna happen,
BillieBob50: easy killer
CheCrz: Are U counting on It?
BillieBob50: umm not really, we are just friends
BillieBob50: thats what i think
CheCrz: yeah--uh-huh..
BillieBob50: haha whats that supposed to mean
CheCrz: Thats Exactly what I said!.
Okay.. So I admit it.. I was desperate.. But I mean.. Can U blame me?.. If U knew How Good Of a kisser She was.. than U’d Be On that Shit too.. This Sucks Balls!.. And U know what?.. Let me share something with U.. Whats killing me the most its that.. Every Single FUCKING day. I’d ask her.. “How come U seem TO Like me so Much”.. and I always Had a feeling that she was gonna pull a “Dre” On Me..
(**This Guy Used to LOVe Megan, and She Kicked him to the curve after she led him on**)..
anyways.. and I remember that she’d always say that she was scared that I would Find somebody better, and leave her. … (WHAt the FUCK)!
click here to contact me him - 09:55 p.m.
back up
-_-_Your Pain Is TOXIC_-_- on Saturday, November 15, 2003
God-damn.. I downloaded this Song By Miss. Britney Spears called, “Toxic”- OH MY GOD!.. I could have SEX with that Song.. Its SO sexual, and Hott.. –or maybe its just me, I think I put too much deliberation when I listen to it.. Yesterday, I spent an hour mixing it and remixing it, and Mixing it more to make the song seem more sexual to dance to. I should start practicing my “stripping” moves.. Like on a pillow or something.. –Haha. …
So I just came in from the gym, And I feel So Proud of myself.. I kept pushing myself to go further and further.. and I’m Glad of how much I did today. At first I was in my tired stage.. but then I took some Vitamin “wake Ur Punk ass Up” by Doing Cardio. (running) and I got pumped to do More.. The Funny thing is that I find myself thinking SOO Much when I’m Lifting… I realize that it got me through that “Down stage”.. And That’s a plus.. –I guess..
This Morning My mom had me trimming the damn tree in the front.. And Frankly.. I wasn’t in the mood to do that, It irritates me a lot when my mom is Telling me How to cut, and where to cut, and How Wrong I’m doing it. I dunno.. go Figure..
Other than Trimming my Tree.. I also Cleaned my Room Out.. I found so much stuff.. like my “box”.. I have this Box where I put all bad memories away.. Like pictures.. Letters.. U know.. Stuff.. –But mostly they’re from relationships with people I had. I went ahead and added more stuff to it.. –it hurts to see so much junk, and How big its getting..
click here to contact me him - 08:31 p.m.
back up
on Thursday, November 13, 2003
Day 8 of my mutha fuck'n work out Plan.. My Step Dad Introduced me to his Magic drink.. Stripping Job, Here I come..
click here to contact me him - 08:55 p.m.
back up
on Tuesday, November 11, 2003
…..Theres gotta BE MORE to LIFe…..
So The Deal IS that.. I really Didn’t have the greatest time at sadies.. It was a bunch of Crap.. I wasn’t wanted.. And I felt It LOUD and clear.. I knew that the night steeped to its lowest when Megan Switched dancing partners on me.. and didn’t even Look me in the eye.. How Can U switch dancing partners .. .WITH ME?!.. I thought that Was soo Fucked Up.. So I told Nat.. (the girl that switched with meg) that I was leaving.. ..
When I left the dance I felt So MAD!.. mad- because I let another girl get to me.. mad- because I knew everything was fucked up, mad- because I couldn’t do ANYTHING ABOUT IT!. ..
I started thinking about it.. & My other half was telling me to go back and suffer the rest of the dance. . so.. .. I walked to the door...like everything else, there was an obstacle.. MRS. MCAFEE.. wasn’t letting me in because I didn’t have my ticket on me.. .. I couldn’t Believe it.. Mrs. Mcafee was my advisor for leadership last year.. .. I loved her.. I was Attached to her.. !.. I looked her in the eye and said.. “Ur not letting me in?” She shook her head, and before she had a chance to say a word, I turn My back on Her and Walked Away>. …
Again.. I Was MAD.. Pissed.. I hated the world.. And NOW MORe than Ever.. I hated my SCHOOL!.. I couldn’t Believe Mrs. Mac Didn’t let me in.. SHE KNEW Who I CAME WITH.. AHhHH!..
yesterday.. I worked At Coldstone.. I was still Pretty Down&I started feeling bad for megan Because I left her punk ass.. But.. The World was about to Make everything Clear FOR mE.. !..
One of my buds.. Chris came in with a bunch of his Water polo Friends.. We talked about the dance… and Why I left.. I totally thought He was gonna hate on me.. Because of his friendship with Megan, but he totally had my back.. He explained some stuff to me.. It made me look at things that I questioned, more clearer.. I think I know Why Meg Was so weird at times.. But I’m not saying anything.. Other than That.. the situation made me feel Bad for somebody else that might be effected if she finds out.
GOD_DAMN!
click here to contact me him - 01:53 p.m.
back up
on Friday, November 7, 2003
So.. Tomorrow night Is Sadies.. And To Tell U the Truth, I’m Really excited..!!!
I haven’t Been To Any Dances This Year-What So ever- And I’m Ready 2 Let loose.. Even Though I have NO clue How “my situation” beholds, I’m still siked to hear what music they’re going to Play. .
So I just came back from the gym.. This IS Day 3 Of my “Stripper bod” workout.. I did quite a bit.. And I’m pretty Satisfied on how things are going.. I’m Having Fun.. And Its really getting a lot of things outta my mind.. After my work out.. I chilled in The “sauna” .. Which Is said to Loosen Up UR Muscles.. (that I don’t have).. And is suppose 2 Help U the next day for the Soreness!.. I got to meet Some Pretty cool People in there.. Like One Of my Bud’s Dad.. Mr. Quartette. Cindy’s dad.. We were talking about soo Much stuff.. Pretty Cool Dude..
Alright So Check This Out.. Maria & Vanessa..(SISTERS!..)
I know where U guys Are coming from When U say those stuff on my message board. .. But.. I’m asking If U can Please apologize to Meg… She didn’t deserve that.. Plus U guys aren’t making things Better.. Or.. I’m gonna have to be forced to close down the Messages completely.. . Thanks..
click here to contact me him - 05:46 p.m.
back up
on Wednesday, November 5, 2003
* Recap *(Earlier this week my mom got me in this tight situation ...She insisted I paint her pastors wife a painting to hang in one of her spiritual bible classes.)
I made sure she knew when she first approached me about it, that I wasn’t going to be able to paint it anytime soon because of my tight schedule, of work and school.
Today My mom came in asking if I had already started… I noticed my mom getting a little irritated when I told her again, I don’t have time.. she further insisted of me calling the lady to talk about how she wants the colors and what not. (Now keep in mind, I have already spoken to the “Pastors-Wife” about her painting, explaining my schedule and she’s well aware about it, and not pushing me what so ever.)
This talk between me and my mom later shifted around about how I mistreat my her, and How I disrespect her. & that she doesn’t need to pick me up from work, anymore.. and that I shouldn’t get mad or make a big deal of her being an hour late from when I get off of my 12 hour shifts. ..
Now can somebody please tell me how Wrong this picture is?..
And to push this constipated shit further up her ass.. she made it bright and clear that she doesn’t approve of my “strangie-ness” –quoting the bee-atch
& that she’s tired of my mood swings that I apparently have, and that she Doesn’t like how I’m always in my room. --..
Well Exxxxxccuuuuseeee MEEeeeee for Not telling U what I feel or what I’m dealing with.. Its not my fucking fault that, everything I experience or feel is “strange” or “weird” to you.. I’m sorry for not kissing ur ass mom!.. I’m sorry for Not being perfect. FUCK!.. Do I always Have to tell U why I’m the way I AM!.. Do U really wanna know Why I’ve been quiet or silent?.. Well If U ever read this.. Let me Break it down FOR U!.. ..
*I’m Not Having the Best Year IN the World.. Its my Senior Year, and I’m not where I expected to be at almost 18.. !. Next Year I’ll Be grown Up in societies Eyes, and frankly-I’m not ready for it. ..
*I’ve lost everything I’ve gone for In School.. No leadership, no nothing.. School Isn’t FUN anymore…
* All My friends Are gone..
*The single girl that managed to get my attention decided that Our personalities are colliding, and that I resemble a lot of her Psycho ex-boyfriend.. and that she only has a crush on me.. and that’s it…
*I’m constantly on my toes At Ambrosia trying to Memorize all the fucking shit of drinks and remembering all our regular customers and what their usual is. .. , otherwise I get a frown from my Boss
*At COLDSTONE.. I have Elena Talking shit about me.. Probably trying to get me fired because she doesn’t like me..
*I don’t care about any of my classes but GOVERNMENT.. But the ironic part is that I’m passing all my classes and failing Government!..
*it seems Like my self-esteem is dropping again.. ( I dunno Why)
AND WHEN I COME HOME.. I CAN”T BE BY MYSELF BECAUSE YOU”RE ALWAYS IN MY SHIT!!.. .. My Only escape is to call MY “other” to Have company, but We collided.. so she’s slowly busting a Dre ON Me.. And MOm.. U see Me relaxed and quite, and U think I NEED Help..
FUCK U!/..
click here to contact me him - 06:16 p.m.
back up
on Monday, November 3, 2003
“Have U called Megan Yet?”
“Why?.. Geez.. Why are U all Worked Up if I called Megan Mom?!?!”..
“ I just wanted to ask.”
No Offence 2 my mommie.. But I really hate Opening Up with her about anything!.. Shes always On top of things wanting to know every single issues and resource in my Non interesting Life.. And frankly I find that very irritating. Like for example; If something in my life takes a change, and I don’t tell me mom.. She questions me about it until She can’t take it anymore and starts snooping around my room to try to find an answer. I really have a psycho Mom..
Oh And by the way.. Remind me To never look for a relationship in high school anymore..
click here to contact me him - 07:18 p.m.
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They Don't Call Me studd for nothing! on Monday, November 3, 2003
SO Today I closed "Ambrosia" With my Boss Brian.. Keep in Mind.. This Guy Has a Rep OF Being in the back playing on chat lines while the other Worker Is in the front doing all the work. It wasn't a disappointment to Me When He did the exact same thing every other employer told me about. .. IT was a shocker to that fucker when I finished every duty of Mine AND his when we closed..
HE came out from the back 30 minutes before we closed and tried Helping me only to find Out That I finished everything.. "they don't call me STUDD for nothing," I told HIm.
I think I showed him a thing or two.. I have this feeling that He never liked me from the start.. and That HE only hired me because of his wife.. (SHE LOVED ME).. But It looks like I'm getting to his good side now.. HErrr-aaay for ME!
click here to contact me him - 06:23 p.m.
back up
on Saturday, November 1, 2003
Hey Guys!.. Whew¡K Sorry for the Lack Of Entries.. I¡¦ve been Really Lagging.. Well Actually.. NOT.. I¡¦ve been pretty busy with my time.. My Job(z) been Giving me More and MORe Hours.. And They¡¦ve been calling me in For More days To work.. And School Is kicking my ass.. I gotta Be keeping My Head up above that average shit!.. „² but that¡¦s another story.
So- Another day ends .. ¡VHomecoming just finished.. and By-god.. I¡¦m So Relieved that its over.. But sad @ the same time¡K and Why?.. because I¡¦m a Senior.. and It doesn¡¦t Feel Like it should.. .. This Year¡¦s Like a Replay, I felt more of a senior last year, than I do this Year.. So everything isn¡¦t as exciting as it should be.
I didn¡¦t win Homecoming King.. Which Is a Shame, But Whatever.. ¡§I lived it, and most people in High school can¡¦t say.. ¡¥I was nominated for homecoming king,¡¦ and I Can¡¨ ..
I wasn¡¦t accepted in Leadership.. But oh-well.. I was Junior President.. And How many people in High school can Say that?..I can¡K ..
I didn¡¦t make the final cut of MC for our Homecoming Rally.. But What-the-fuck¡K how many people have the balls to Try out?... I did..
Whatever
So anyways¡K
My Best Bud Just came and visited me.. He was off to hit them Clubs back in sac.. He such a cool freak.. HAha..
But Yeah.. I was talking with my mom earlier.. and I dunno.. Where This Convo Came from.. I mean.. Well I guess I was in deep thought.. Like as in.. ¡§WHAT do I wanna DO after high school..¡¨.. and U know.. I really Love dancing.. and All that Sexy shit.. So I thought.. U know.. Maybe If I Become a stripper.. I¡¦d Make enough money for a while to stand on Two Feet without anyone Licking my ass and telling me what I should do¡K SO anyways.. I shared that With my mom.. And She didn¡¦t not Like it oNe bit.. She couldn¡¦t imagin her only son.. they youngest of the three Thinking about that shit.. She was Just worried..
. Well I best be Going to Work Now.. See Ya Later Folks.. I dunno When I¡¦ll BE able to Write another entry in..
click here to contact me him - 04:15 p.m.
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on Saturday, October 4, 2003
WHATs Wit the New Character On the Message Board?.. Where Are U all Coming From?..
So the other day¡K.I was Here, Home Killing Time while I Slept, When all Of a sudden Senior Class Prez, Dre. Called.. He wanted to Know if It was alright if He could Come and Watch me and Jacque Make up the Homecoming Dance.. ¡§I was Like Oh Yeah Sure¡¨(„² I was half asleep .. lol.). I wasn¡¦t able to Fall Back To my Slumber, So I got Up and decided to Give My Lil Dog, ¡§manchita¡¨ A Buz.. She was starting to Get a little on the Shaggy side, but unfortunately I really Didn¡¦t go Far in the Ordeal.. Because after a while she started fighting with the buzzer.. haha.. (I love My Dog)
SO Later that Afternoon.. Jacque Comes iN.. And We go Straight to my computer to Fix a beat that she wants me to do for Halftime .which probably won¡¦t make the cut, because Our halftime music is already complete.. But.. anywho.. We Take Our sweet Time with it.. Then Megan & . Dre. Came.. .. And We stopped with the music, and started to teach Dre the Dance.. .. .. It was so tricky to Teach it.. so complicated, and Difficult.. Especially If U don¡¦t Pay attention..but.. We¡¦ll see how things Go When I have to teach the other Seniors This MOnDAY!.. BY MYSELF!.. (Jacque Isn¡¦t gonna make it to the first homecoming practice Because She had A game.. I thinK)..
Today¡K I just laid around ALL Day.. Megan Came Over, and gave me company.. I had so Much Fun Just doing NOTHING!.. I¡¦m So Serious.. She makes things Interesting When Shes Here.. ¡VIts hard to explain.. I just have to Say.. THAT I¡¦M SO HAPPY WITH MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!.. WORRy.. FREE!!.. But anywho.. I gotta go to Work Soon.. And I¡¦m All Stinky.. So I¡¦ll take a shower right now.. CATCH U GUYS LATER>>
click here to contact me him - 05:35 p.m.
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on Wednesday, October 1, 2003
Updates:...
* New Pic of the Day!..
HEy Everybody.. !Man I'm Soo Sore!.. Last Night Jacque Yancey Came Ova To Mi Casa To Make Up the Dance/skit for our Rally Homecoming!.. -and let me tell U.. its the shizznitch!.. Our Halftime Isn't gonna be as great as Rally.. But Oh-well..
Looks LIke I aint gonna Be up dating thAT often.. *been Really Busy/ Occupied*
click here to contact me him - 01:43 p.m.
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on Monday, September 29, 2003
Alright U guys.. Updates..
* New Pic of the Day.. (HEy Meg.. Thats mAtt in that pic)..
*All Past Entrys Are Now Located Under "picture of the Day".. Click there To See All the Other Entrys I wrote From Summer 2003- Today's Date..
I need to GO buy A Mustache Trimmer..
I gotta go Deposit My Checks.. Call ME MEGAN!.. I don't wanna call U because Ur SICK!.. So GET WELL SOOn!
click here to contact me him - 03:48 p.m.
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