when you lose something that represents the LINK to just about your entire life: your circle of friends, your loved ones and the communication link betw you and that one person you want to tell things to; what do you do?

cry on the bus like a silly baby until everyone looks at you in disgust?

i think i'm sad because i got on the bus and realised this could be the last time i'm seeing you.. especially if i don't get to come back to singapore in time to see you off. or if my tomorrow never comes!! and this last time doesn't even have a definite feel to it.. :( then that awkward goodbye because of your SAT and my aching feet... there's so much left unsaid and there's so much uncertainty. wanted to send u a message but realise i couldn't. hoped u would message me but realised i couldn't receive it too. felt like a broken down communication, with no way out. just stuck like that. feel like i'm sucked in this disgusting torrent of feelings that i can't get out of. i just want you to know, that i will miss you. that i already do. :(

wanted to go visit yas because crys's words: this may be the last time we all ever meet... that was really stung on me.. but then realised i couldn't either. then it dawned on me that i would be leaving singapore quietly, sadly, forgotten, gone, no more. so i just wanna let anyone who's reading this blog know, my phone is spoilt, nada calls, wont work. don't call me. :( but i LOVE YOU GUYS AND WILL MISS YOU FOREVER!!!! oh shit! and aubrey's here too... this is quite a horrible ending to my post prom night. =X

still, much said and done, i enjoyed myself very well last night, and it softens the pain of today. my phone is so important to me, if you must know, because it helps me get to you, and right now i feel like i'm cut off from the world.
wheezed on Friday, December 3, 2004 at 08:22 p.m.

time. distances. away. goodbyes. farewell.

There are some things in life you are very happy to end like the exams, but there are some things that you really never, ever want to end. So good riddance disgusting crappy exams that i will not do well for, hello prom, hello busy week, hello sadgoodbyesmaybeforever week. :X i think its rather sad how every start signifies an end. i'm sad to part with all the people i love, i'm scared of no tomorrows, i'm scared that people will forget me and i'll just become that girl in school, whatsherface? or rachel was a great person- what did she do again? i'm scared that you will just chuck me to one side because you're too busy-you want to look forward to a new life ahead. okay fine i'm just a scared person.

i want to go to vietnam. i think it will do me good to step out of this crazy city of singapore and take a trip to somewhere where i can catch my breath and relax, and enjoy and stop worrying. i bet i'm probably the only person in singapore who ended her exams depressed because she has no. more. time. left.

i shoulda thrown you out into the ashes a long time ago and never look back.. pfeeeeeee.

i need more time. i really honestly do.
wheezed on Tuesday, November 30, 2004 at 04:07 a.m.

flowers;
[ weylingx ][ nadiax ][ charmainex ][ crystalx ][ sueannx ][ huanlingx ][ yassiex ][ vonx ][ fatmax ][ leonardx ][ lynniex ][ lilsisbeckyx ][ aubreyx ] dedicated to the people
that i care for &
love, 10th dec 04.