OMG I am talking to an old friend of mine as we speak! I haven't talked to him in almost 2 years and he's 20 now! I knew this guy when he was 15 ;_; it's a sweet nostalgia really. It brings back old memories of good times. I miss the freedonm I so efficiently neglected in those days. I look back now and there was so much I could have done. The cage the military keeps me in now has blocked a lot of paths that used to be available to me and are now staggeringly closed off with a big Naval seal on em. *sigh* I do miss those days of civilian freedom and I envy those who still do not appreciate it, but then talking to my friend..I am so glad he has grown into something, that he is on a path I only now wish I could have taken. It makes me nostalgically proud because in a way..he made it.

Oh! Check out his comic! it's at www.punksandnerds.com at the top, it's hilarious people people. Do you like adult Swim? Do you like South park..this comic makes them cry to their mommies! hahaha. NO really..

OK gotta go I am addicted to Halo2 and must blast away at aliens with my sister in co-op mode..ah bliss. That is also why I have not been very prompt with my entries..but who gives a shit anyway right?

Wednesday, December 15, 2004
10:28 p.m.

Well I finally did it. People who really know me know what I am talking about. As exciting and dangerous as my journey was, I am pleased at the new freedom I am enjoying now, even if it wont last.

Despite all the good that is happening lately I recieved the worst news of my life yesterday. A few days back I saw a little abcess on the side of my kittie's mouth. Barely noticeable, but of course I could tell it was not normal. Yesterday she was taken to the vet only to learn that it might be a cancerous tumor, which can happen to old cats, or that alternatively it could be that she is getting allergic to herself which is fairly the most common condition in geriatric cats too. She is, after-all judging by her teeth, about 12 years old.

So we were given two options. One, we had to give her some medicinal drops and if the abcess went down, then it meant she was allergic to herself and the medecine was doing it's job, but she would have to live on that stuff for the rest of her life and eventually her body would build a tolerance to it and it would not longer work to the point where it would progress into her death. Choice number two was if the drops didn't work then it is most likely cancer and surgery can be done for 00 but there is no guarantee that it would work and she may develop them again, resulting in the need for another surgery.

The doctor said we can euthanize her at any time deemed appropriate but for me that is not a choice I am willing to make. So far she is in no pain and her appetite and health are excellent so no need for drastic measures for now. All I know is..the options and outcomes were bleak and I know sooner or later the time will come. I don't know how I will be able to handle so loss, especially with all the hardship I've been through the last two years. Losing my baby would be the straw that broke this camel's back I think as there is no feline on the face of this earth like her.

Pray for my kitty Sweet Pea people..she is truly the only being on this earth that brings me complete peace and gives me untainted love 24/7. She is the most precious thing to me and all I want is for her to stay with me as long as she can. *sigh*

Thursday, December 9, 2004
04:08 p.m.