Catshade's Catharsis Corner v. 5.00 : Dodge This

Sunday, February 1, 2004

Mood : -_-
BGM : "Destiny" – Zero 7

Dulu orang-orang pernah (mungkin sampe sekarang juga ya?) bilang kalo ngomong sama saya itu seperti ngomong ke tembok. Dulu saya sih cuma nyengir aja sambil bergumam dalam hati, "Sorry, but that's the way I am." Saya nggak pernah memahami sakitnya perasaan mereka sampe sekarang, ketika saya 'berkomunikasi' dengan tembok yang lain juga, justru saat saya ingin melepaskan diri dari cap 'tembok' itu. Mungkin saya yang salah, tapi lebih susah mengucapkan kata 'maaf' ketika perasaan saya juga sakit, no?

Paranoia itu kembali lagi. Mungkin karena saya belakangan ini kebanyakan baca novelnya Dan Brown yang isinya konspirasi melulu, but this feeling is too strong to be resisted. Tentunya kali ini tidak seagresif dulu. I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling anymore if I'm wrong, but waiting too long in self-defence stance can backfire, too. Jadi inget novel "1984", "Brave New World", ato "Fahrenheit 451", dimana 'kebenaran' ditentukan oleh sekelompok elit. Dalam skala yang lebih kecil, mungkinkah 'kebenaran' di suatu komunitas wired juga ditentukan oleh sekelompok kecil elit di strata teratas stratifikasi sosial, sementara lapisan2 di bawahnya hanya mengetahui 'kebenaran' dalam layer2 yang beragam, menjadikan strata terbawah tidak mengetahui 'kebenaran' sama sekali, hanya jadi kambing congek, atau hanya disodorkan 'blue pill' saja?

Liburan hampir berakhir, dan kuliah sebentar lagi mulai. I can't wait for this new escapism... *bitter grin*

HASH(0x88c9894)
I am an overly sleepy kitt- **zZzZzZzZZZzZzzZzZzzZzZZzzZZZZzZZZZ...**

Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
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Congratulations!! You are M.C. ESCHER. Your drawings often depict images, which seem to be
feasible, but logically cannot exist. You are happiest when you are exercising your mind.
You live your life very sensibly. Your friends
turn to you when they need advice from someone
who knows how to remove emotional prejudice
from a situation.

Which famous artist most reflects your personality?
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Catshade jacked in at 09:04 a.m.

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Thursday, January 29, 2004

Mood : '_'
BGM : "Another New Day" - Jazzanova

*lagi online dari labkom kampus*

Kemarin pulang kampus capek banget, serasa udah kuliah aja. Soalnya sore2 ujan deres, jadi pada males balik dan akhirnya nemenin temen saya yang yaoi chatting di warnet (you *know* what kind of chat). Quite hilarious, though. Hari itu udah lumayan bisa ngelupain masalah IP, thanks to the day and a certain sms (you know who you are) :). Sampe rumah langsung tidur pules, lupa ama vow sendiri buat nggak tidur 'siang' biar malemnya gak begadang. Akhirnya bangun jam 9an deh. Makan nasi goreng entah punya siapa di bawah, trus nongkrong di depan kompie, ngabisin separo novel "Angels & Demons"nya Dan Brown. Quite twisting, makanya saya tahan sampe jam duaan. Abis itu tidur, bangun telat seperti biasa kalo begadang. Inget kalo IRS/KRS belum ditandatangani PA. Berangkat pagi, dan seperti biasa temen2 belum pada datang. Akhirnyat terdampar di labkom, awalnya bengong sejenak memandang deretan iklan2 untuk eksperimen karena server buat internet lagi ada masalah hingga akhirnya dibenerin dan, here I am, still alive and getting kicked repeatedly in the face. Unfortunate for a few, eh?

Somehow, I feel bland today... >_>

Catshade jacked in at 10:27 a.m.

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Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Mood : >_<
BGM : "Kuldesak" – Ahmad Band

Hari dimana saya mengetahui hasil proses belajar selama enam bulan pertama diformulasikan dalam angka 1 sampai 4 sepertinya tidak akan masuk dalam hitungan hari-hari terindah saya. Mungkin saya yang mengeset standar terlalu tinggi atau terus saja membanding-bandingkan diri dengan orang lain (and the latter which became the main source of my envy). Keberanian yang tertinggal seperti sang singa pengecut dalam Oz. See what I mean? Menerima e-mail dari seberang lautan, dari onsen dan cerita-cerita ceria yang tertinggal. If only you know. Seperti melihat bayangan orang lain yang tak terkejar, dan kenyataan diri sendiri yang tak ingin kita kejar. Secepat apa waktu berlalu sebelum ilusi menghilang? Sang alkemis mengaku tahu jawabnya, meski ia menuntut sepuluh persen dari impian yang akan kita temukan di seberang sana.

Some quizzes to fill in the blank...

Back away slowly kiddies, this one's Deeply Disturbed
'Deeply Disturbed' PLEASE VOTE!!!

What Type of Lunatic are You?
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In this circumstance, I fully agree with that...except that MJ avatar. Paedophile, the first thing I'm not...

Angel
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
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Then let's be grateful that there'll be less people like me. The end of this world will be more exciting...

Alone
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)

What Emotion Dominates you?
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*speechless*...

Catshade jacked in at 09:01 p.m.

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