issafly
Monday, January 10, 2000
A rather delicious pita. I like anyone who likes krispy kreme donuts. I miss them. I must say I don't believe anyone has actually read Marshall McLuhan, though Brad refers to him as "M.Mc", so who knows. Nice links too.

Bad Ass Mofo
Monday, January 10, 2000
I refuse to believe that anything called a Bad Ass Mofo could possibly contain Zima. Incidentally, fishfaced is linked to by bad-ass-mother-fucker.com. How the hell did they get that url?

By the way
Friday, January 7, 2000
Adcritic also has the Jenny Craig commercial with everyone's favorite homewrecker, Monica Lewinsky.

Wazzzzzzahhhhhhhp!
Friday, January 7, 2000
I like good commercials. This ranks up there as one of the best I have EVER seen. This comes from the always fun Adcritic. Wondering what the music was in that recent commercial? Adcritic finds out for ya, then just wants you to buy said cd through them. Make them some cash for being awesome and not-yet-corporate/legal.

Chatty Wedding
Friday, January 7, 2000
She: Where do you want to get married sweetie? A church? A romantic Bed and Breakfast? On the beach?
He: Hmm, those all sound pretty sweet, schookums, but how bout...ONLINE, then all my geek friends can come and send us emoticons!
She:Yes! You have swept me off my feet, SWM40ANDHOT!
Does it get any sadder? I think not.

attack force d
Wednesday, January 5, 2000
Hey, thanks for the mention, afD! I'm a fan of the 'D,' you should be too. Though I'm still not sure that the logo there isn't just a blurry picture of The Villiage People.

Who are we? We are jackasses!
Wednesday, January 5, 2000
Since poked fun at godly things in the last entry, I thought I would mention this atrocity to balance my Karma. Teamsters picket a funeral home. I wish I was shocked. An industry without a union is like a fish without a picket sign.

Charles Marshall, Clean Comedian
Wednesday, January 5, 2000
Ugh. I don't have anything against cleanly/godly things, but I fail to see how anyone who "avoids all negative/insult humor in his program" could make me laugh heartily. Charles Marshall is probably available for your next occasion, but I think I would rather have good old Goober or Calvin Coolidge or Yakov Smirnoff in a nutshell. What a country.

A Handy Man is NOT good to find.
Tuesday, January 4, 2000
Why why why why why. Another search gone horribly horribly awry. Happy bleated and belated New Year all.

LifeShirt
Thursday, December 23, 1999
What are you giving to your favorite elders this Christmas? Hopefully not something as useful and depressing as the LifeShirt, which tracks the vital signs of Grandpa and Grandma while they're on the golf course. I might get one of these for myself to track my heart rate while I'm driving behind Gramma's 25mph 77 Ford Maverick on her way back from the beauty parlor.

congealed_fruit_salad brings fame
Thursday, December 23, 1999
This page notes the length of words on a couple of hundred weblogs. I'm listed currently due to the december 5th entry containing, what else, congealed_fruit_salad. I think that's cheating, but I didn't mean it, I promise. Not sure why it didn't pick up Breaded_Chicken_Strips_with_Dippin_Sauce_and_Roll, so I took out the apostrophe this time.

Enter Hatchman!
Friday, December 17, 1999

The distinguished gentleman from Utah rocks! In a sort of "Jesus is my rock" kind of way. He's apparently quite a prolific songwriter.He has 7 seven albums! From hangin out with Barry Manilow to a 2 mile (in the snow, uphill, both ways) walk to see the symphony in his native Pittsburgh, this is one guy who rocks the House (and Senate.) Oof. That was bad, but I couldn't help it. I've obviously been influenced by listening to this music. I think there's something subliminal in there that makes me want to go to the Men's Wearhouse in my Ford Windstar . You're gonna like the way I look. I guarantee it.

Talk Show Roundup
Friday, December 17, 1999
Now that I'm employed, I don't get to watch as much daytime TV as I used to. Thankfully a friend of a friend has recently found a lot of time on his hands, and has begun sharing his daytime lollygagging with the rest of us. Go Kire! Go Kire! Get a job! Go Kire!

CITC FanFic!
Thursday, December 9, 1999
If you've sifted through the archives, you know how much I think Fan Written Fiction is the way of the future. High paid television executives are often searching the internet looking for amateur and amateurish writing. These particular gems are from the dismal, trite and annoying series Caroline in the City. Please. Just stop. Please? For me? A snippet:

The woman turned to her, perched precariously on the bar of Dove facial wash every bit as pink as her tiny body. Her eyes were a fascinating shade of beaten gold that seemed to shift and shiver with passing patterns of light and thought that raced around the impossible creature.

Show That You Really, Really Don't Care
Wednesday, December 8, 1999
These are great. Personal favorite:

Inside: I know you must think everyone's disappointed in you, but not me. I always knew you were destined to fail.

Be Nice to Your Dog.
Wednesday, December 8, 1999
I love my dog dearly. That is why I'll never buy him a satin jacket like this. Look at that poor weird elongated Chihuahua! I guess this is what all the cool dogs at Rydell High are wearing this year.

There's No Place Like Dung
Sunday, December 5, 1999
Sometimes you do a search that you don't expect to produce results -- but you get some. Very stange.

School Lunch Menu or Pita Namer?
Sunday, December 5, 1999
Either this is, as it purports to be, a school lunch menu, or it as the place where new pitas members should go for names for their pita. Some suggestions:

• SloppyJoe.pitas.com
• BakedApples.pitas.com
• Congealed_Fruit_Salad.pitas.com
• CornDogNuggets.pitas.com
• Breaded_Chicken_Strips_with_Dippin'_Sauce_and_Roll.pitas.com

ADADRL
Saturday, December 4, 1999
It's important in life to pick your battles. This is true. This is not a wise fight. Without sounding too preachy, there's more important problems in the world besides Daytime Running Lights. Frankly, I wish my car had them, then I wouldn't have to worry about whether my lights are on when I'm driving blind drunk in a snowstorm.

Oh dear Lord!
Thursday, December 2, 1999
I don't usually do newslogging, but this one touched me in a very painful place.

TamaGothi
Thursday, December 2, 1999
Grow, feed and take care of your own pocket Goth. Feed him a steady diet of angst, speed and smack. Just keep him out of the light.

Dumb Things You've Seen Whilst Driving
Thursday, December 2, 1999
Whilst writing that last entry, I wondered if there might be some more folks out there impressing us with their use of the word 'whilst.' There are.

Oh Come On!
Thursday, December 2, 1999
Pokémon Fan-fiction. For God's sake people...Stop the Madness. Enjoy the adventures of Ash, Brock and Misty in Pallet Town(?!?) Ash had become Pokémon Champion of Pokémon Island. Ooh! The interesting part of this is the amount of times our author uses the word 'whilst,'as if he has just finished reading the 'Canterbury Tales.' Perhaps this will get a little racy in future episodes and the Prioress will make a cameo to show Brock how to really train his pokémon.

FishFaced Archives
Thursday, December 2, 1999
The old junk in the attic, check in here for the older stuff.