all your base are belong to
Saturday, March 17, 2001
the masses. i wouldn't be serving 'for great justice' if i didn't have this in the history of the blog. i still get hits based on 'hello my future girlfriend,' even though that kid's gotta be 32 by now. anywho. said to be tired, but still gets a giggle outta me.

noodlerific
Thursday, March 15, 2001
noodlemen are using their noodles to noodle a few noodle ideas to make the west canoodle their noodles. i'm sorry. i'm so very sorry for that.

dirty, dirty cash
Thursday, March 15, 2001
i'm not sure which part of this story is the most bizarre: that it happened at all, or that it happened in beaver county. addendum: someone mentioned something i neglected. her name...regina...

1,2,3,4,5,6!
Tuesday, March 13, 2001
i can understand the first cut. hey, accidents happen. the second? a little bizarre he didn't learn from his first mistake. 3-6th? dear lord man, quit cuttin' that thing!

poor monkeys
Wednesday, March 7, 2001
again, a problem with too many monkeys, but these folks are shootin' em. sounds like all they need is someone to sell some guns to the monkeys, then we'd really have something.

fingerific!
Monday, February 26, 2001
once my father had the unpleasant surprise of finding a band-aid in a slice of pizza he was eating. that was nasty. this is beyond that.

videogame video
Wednesday, February 14, 2001
apparently a brazilian band with a really, um, interesting name, golden shower. but the video is an incredible mix of 80s video games, and the music is pulled from the same. sure beats mtv.

what to call this...hmmm...oh yeah, MONKEYS!
Thursday, February 8, 2001
like i said, monkey.

what's that sound? the WAHmbulance!
Wednesday, February 7, 2001
stacy, from the first survivor is now suing the production company alleging that the producers, sean and dirk (the bible-toting farmer) colluded to kick her off the show to save rudy. correct me if i'm wrong, but wasn't sean the guy with the alphabetical voting stupidity? hey stacy, ya lost. deal.

duh.
Tuesday, January 30, 2001
apparently just the sight of W elicits stupidity, but this is really really stupid.

hahahah
Tuesday, January 23, 2001
take that w.

doh
Tuesday, January 23, 2001
agggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ugh. sorry, i was in stockholm this past weekend, so i'm having a delayed reaction to the realization that we have a complete moron 'leading' our country.

blimey! that croc bit me rooight in the leg!
Tuesday, January 23, 2001
brahahahaha. crocodile hunter steve irwin was bitten by a crocodile this week while trying to move it from one enclosure to another. sorry for laughing. no i'm not. natural reaction. you mess with the croc, ya get the teefs. blimey!

monkeys
Tuesday, January 9, 2001
monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys.
TOO MANY DAMN MONKEYS!

supergreg
Tuesday, January 9, 2001
he's number one. make sure you check out the film. been a while since i've seen this kind of quality (hence the lack of updates.)

airlines with suspended licenses
Wednesday, January 3, 2001
interesting bit at the bottom of the page here, i wish it was a joke, but the name of the airline...
U-Land Air Lines (Taiwan)
31 MAY 2000
U-Land Air Lines (UAL), a domestic carrier, has been banned from operation indefinitely because of its failure to meet minimum safety requirements

lego studio
Wednesday, December 20, 2000
how cool is this thing? you could make little lego movies, like this.

hats of meat
Monday, December 4, 2000
tasty...meat, it's not just for eating anymore.

weatherbug
Friday, December 1, 2000
this is kinda cool for weather dorks like me. puts the outside temperature in your system tray and alerts you to any severe weather. you can also click it for the forecast. which you could do anyway with a link button, but, c'mon. it tells the temperature. it's currently 42 degrees at noon. i love boston. sigh.

hare krishna! hare krishna!
Wednesday, November 15, 2000
this is what george harrison came up with to yell at a guy attempting to stab him to death. i can think of a whole list of obscenities and maybe 'stop' as things i would shout first to 'disorient' someone. harrison always was the weird one.

oof
Friday, November 10, 2000
i don't even want to get into what a farce i think this whole flordia election was from the get go (sorry, african-americans, we're out of ballots. hey, grandma, here's something confusing for you. hmm, you're hispanic, we're gonna need some more forms of id from you) but we are looking positively moronic to the rest of the world. though i don't think the british, with the wigs and the royal family, have any damn room to talk.

yay! ignorant old man with a national column!
Wednesday, November 1, 2000

ok. prepare for rant. you're gonna have to read this article first.

read it? angry? me too. let's begin.

[rant]

what does america need? another unresearched column written by the horribly underrepresented old ignorant male demographic. this columnist appears to have done absolutley no research whatsoever about the playstation 2 before writing his luddite tract, paragraph after pathetic, ponderous paragraph.

"I'm not quite sure what a PlayStation 2 is. Someone told me it lets you ride a motorcycle and snowboard on a computer screen." well, i'll give him credit for at least understanding that it could allow you to ride a motorcycle or a snowboard, but i have to give him the are-you-a-complete-jackass stare for thinking that it has something to do with a 'computer screen.' in the end, he goes on to say "Would you see me standing in line overnight to buy a $300 video game that will be forgotten by spring" i would hope not. $300 seems like a lot of cash for a single video game. though it seems pretty much reasonable amount to pay for a super-fast gaming system that is also a dvd player.

now don't get me wrong, i agree with the general idea. i'm not waiting in line at the moment for the ps2. i'll wait till there's a glut of them right after christmas when i can snap it up for about $250 when the retailers have undoubtedly ordered too damn many of them. i do, however, have a problem with the total lack of research and blind reliance on the 'i'm an loveable old curmudgeon and this modern world scares me' defense. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer was funny, this guy is just sad.

i don't expect a whole lot from usa today, that pantheon of journalism, but do they not even care to fact check anymore? i understand that it' just the front page of the 'purple section,' but come on.

i don't know what the usa today is. someone told me its some magical thing using that heathen gutenberg's moveable type contraption. if it's all the same to you, i'll get my news the old fashioned way, from the layout of an ungulate's entrails. [end rant] [end longest post ever]

some old bullshit
Wednesday, November 1, 2000
here's where the older entries are, prior to 11/1/2000