goldpocket in the news
Monday, June 26, 2000
we were in the wall street journal today, thereby proving that you should definitely play next sunday.
typhoon licoricepants
Saturday, June 24, 2000
that's my new glam-name. dana is "hologram sparklepowder." what's yours?
p.s. dan: the torch has apparently been passed. long live blipsoft.
go to hell, moneygrubbing limeys
Saturday, June 24, 2000
i have british relatives. i like them. i've never done anything to harm them or the rest of the british isle, but as they say, "day ain't over yet." note to not-so-great britain. you no longer rule the waves, get over it.
how to raise a juvenile delinquent
Friday, June 23, 2000
the police in australia sure have some pretty sweet and up-to-date information on how to keep your kids from becoming...(dunh dunh dunhhhh) JUVENILE DELINQUENTS (quentsquentsquents...) follow this guide and you'll be sure to raise a straight-laced and proper kid. make doubly sure that you follow the sarcastic "LET THEM READ any printed matter they can get their hands on." commandment, because we all know that reading is the basis of all evil and delinquency. don't you get it? reading=less time in malt shop, which could lead to delinquency or even (dunh dunh dunhhhh) dancing. is there an australian version of footloose that i somehow haven't seen?
make sure to also catch these gems:
.com deadpool
Sunday, June 18, 2000
it had to happen...a market correction/crash begets the thinning of the dotcom herds (a lot of my friends included! boo!) begets the dotcom deadpool. please to be keeping my new company far from this area, but i'm definitely betting on my old one (though it will make me sad) to crash/burn/be scuttled and/or sold shortly.
thanks for the link dan
btw, this makes two weeks in a row that folks have declined to go for the million and just took the 500k and ran. that's just unamerican.
awww yeah, corn!
Thursday, June 8, 2000
watch it grow now. seriously. delicious corn, soon to be high as an elephant's eye. so corny del monte could can it.
goldpocket news
Wednesday, June 7, 2000
goldpocket.com gave away another 1 million bucks this week to Larry Rumbough of Orlando, Florida. you really gotta play. no really. do it. come on...it's cool...everybody's doing it...you can't hang out with us unless you do.
bibleman!
Wednesday, June 7, 2000
Willie Ames, not-so-fresh from eight is enough and a cocaine and drinking problem, has resurfaced as bibleman, a satan-fighting superhero. he has another nemesis named 'el furioso.' "...the dastardly El Furioso has crafted a new weapon of destruction: God Fury Dust that enrages every person it touches." i think there was some God Fury Dust that came through my connection when i read this article. ugh.
million bucks given away
Wednesday, May 24, 2000
well, it was a success! we gave away a million bucks to Kelly Balmer a woman (take that rege!) from springfield, mo. you know, you really should get in on this...maybe this sunday? c'mon... do it.
goldpocket.com gameday!
Sunday, May 21, 2000
it's gameday! register sometime today, then login from 7:00 to 7:50 pm EST (4:00 to 4:50 pm PST) then the game starts at 8pm. all ya gots to do is answer some trivia, and you can be the millionaire. i'd love for the winner to have come from fishfaced, that'd be pretty cool! good luck kids, (the lightning rounds are fast, be warned and be ready!)
goldpocket press
Thursday, May 18, 2000
more shameless self promotion here. the boston globe's digitalmass has an article about goldpocket today. check it out, tell some friends, but only the ones you think are dumber than you, so they won't beat you for the million bucks.
goldpocket.com
Wednesday, May 17, 2000
hey, thanks for the mention thess over at moonothing. much thanks and cap'n randy's love to you (don't miss the alt tags, or it doesn't make much sense.)
now, down to bidness, explanation and shameless self promotion.
i'm now working for goldpocket.com, an online game show like 'who wants to be a millionaire,' and we wanna give you a million bucks just for answering live trivia questions, and you don't even have to talk to Regis Philbin. Just go here and register when you've got a few minutes for a quick download, then log on sundays at 7:50 EST or so, answer some tough trivia and you all good wit da mil.
that is, unless you're a complete moron like that jeremy guy from the other night, who couldn't figure out what tennis legend Martina Hingis was named after.
p.s. (the simpsons is funnier if you tape it, then watch it later while sitting on a big pile of money)
the love virus
Thursday, May 4, 2000
this is something i just threw together at the last minute, because everytime i hear love virus, i think of one thing. the king of love, Barry White. <--he gets caps.
jesus!
Wednesday, May 3, 2000
come on... this is worse than the email address. leave the beach alone, holy roller. it's fine that you're down with JC, but you don't need all your footsteps to advertise this fact.
friends of sebastian bach
Wednesday, May 3, 2000
i don't miss skid row, i don't miss sebastian bach and though i've never seen them before, i look forward to not missing sebastian bach's friends.
p.s. this is my last week at myway.com so updates may be sparse for a week or so until i get settled in at goldpocket.com. new jobs are fun.
kwoting keanu
Tuesday, April 25, 2000
is it possible to relate a real-life problem with a keanu kwote? i mean besides "Whoa?" i think so. this quote from 1989's parenthood pretty much sums up what i think about this story.
Todd (Reeves): You know, Mrs. Buchman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car---hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any asshole be a father.
heavenly mail
Monday, April 24, 2000
i have no problem with people loving god or enjoying their religion, as long as they don't try to evangelize others or use it as a excuse to hate. i also have a smaller scale problem with wearing your religious beliefs on your sleeve, your bumper, or in this case, your email address. saintmail? come on.
death cubicle
Friday, April 21, 2000
got something old sitting around the office taking up valuable space? send him to the 'death cubicle.' then he'll sue you and win $350k.
happy easter
Friday, April 21, 2000
let's fight! nuff said.
T!
Thursday, April 20, 2000
i think mr. t adds more to my life now than he ever did in his a-team / cartoon / breakfast cereal halcyon days. my favorite on this site: "i ain't takin orders from no chipmunk!"
though they're missing the best T quote of all time:
Interviewer (some guy): What's your prediction for the fight?
Clubber Lang (T!): My prediction? Pain.
jeez, people
Tuesday, April 18, 2000
I, like most bloggers, have a narcissistic streak that causes me to check my referrer log more often than i update the site, and usually they are your normal searches that people use to find the site, but this one is just weird. nude jan michael vincent? ugh.
another good ad
Wednesday, April 12, 2000
this one is great too because it makes stupid people freak out, a necessary part of any truly brilliant ad. by the way, I love ad critic.
bravo! good ad
Wednesday, April 12, 2000
this pac-bell ad is the kind that makes me stay in front of the tv during commercials. pretty damn funny. i long ago realized that i'm not the target audience for anyone, but i actually do tend to buy things from companies with good ads before the crappy or uncreative. though since i'm east coast i can't buy a damn thing from pac-bell.
cops for christ
Thursday, April 6, 2000
lord, please grant me the power to bust a minority's head, and the strength to fight the ever-present danger of underage drinking and to create traffic problems by sitting on the side of the road at rush hour...amen.
interesting cultural phenomenon
Wednesday, April 5, 2000
i was in scotland a few weeks ago on bidness and noticed something funny while visiting a club. there's an effect i've noticed in the US that I call the gaynor effect. whenever the first piano strains of gloria gaynor's i will survive ring out, a large percentage of women in the bar will let out a yelp of glee and immediately head to the dance floor. I noticed a similar effect in glasgow with of all things, the proclaimers i'm Gonna Be (500 Miles). to be fair, the same thing happens to men at the end of the night when the DJ throws on marvin gaye's sexual healing and they realize they've spent the entire night doing jager shots and playing pop-a-shot basketball with their friends and neglected to find someone of the opposite sex to lie to.
the um, penis pillow
Thursday, March 30, 2000
pulled directly from the site: penis-pillow.com was started by dick johnson, philanthropist, rocket scientist and part time brain surgeon who one day realized that the world was an empty place without a large penis shaped pillow... i don't often rotflol or even rotflmao or any other acronymical activities, so i'll just say... hee hee.
things that make me happy
Tuesday, March 28, 2000
this picture of yet another duke player ending his college career bawling in the arms of coach k makes me almost as happy as UNC heading to another Final Four. Go Heels!. i also like dogs and sunshine and cold beer (don't tell anyone, I've got an image to uphold.)
registerfree.com
Thursday, March 23, 2000
tonight, between 9 and 10pm, this company is giving away domain names for free. what the hell, it's worth an hour of my time.
did anyone get through on this? not me.
speaking of shite
Wednesday, March 22, 2000
here's some more crap. oooh! they're little babies, and they're multimillionaire sports stars! there's nothing cuter! this is arguably worse than the kitty.
hang in there baby!
Wednesday, March 22, 2000
are you kidding me? this became such a joke a long time ago that I thought even old people and admins had realized it was lame. i am constantly amazed by pablum.
the future is now...
Wednesday, March 22, 2000
and you've been replaced...by a honda.
i'm back. didja miss me? either of you? bah! phooey on you both.
gone workin'
Wednesday, March 8, 2000
I'm off to bonnie scotland for a week or so fer bidness. In the meantime, I'll leave the page in the capable hands of pikachu and the rest of the strange characters. that damn mr. t didn't do any posting last time, so I hope these fictional characters will be better about it.
six inch killaz
Monday, March 6, 2000
They're hardcore, they're dressed fabulously.
pop tart art
Wednesday, March 1, 2000
This rocks not because it's pop tarts, which I was craving for some reason, nor because it's pop tart art, but because it's classic games art on pop tarts. Got it? Now, then. I need to get back to making fun of other people.
your kung-fu is not as good as mine
Wednesday, March 1, 2000
This is oblique and apparently unfinished, as are all good webpages. I used to play the game Karateka all the time on my brother's Atari 800. That mug had a big 48k, but it was a helluva lot of fun (the computer, not my brother.)
Yo Mama
Wednesday, March 1, 2000
I miss yo mama jokes. My favorite and the strangest one I ever heard: "Yo Mama got a wooden leg with a kickstand." I'm not really sure what it means, but it sure does BURN.
movie trailer of the future
Thursday, February 24, 2000
Nope, it's a news story, just imagine it this way:
(movie trailer guy's voice) Coming this fall from the producers who brought you Runaway Bride...
It was to be a glorious service: she was wrapped in the bright colors of an African wedding dress, he wore a tuxedo.
But the groom's jilted girlfriend showed up with her brothers.... and they brought hand grenades. Jan-Michael Vincent... Shannon Tweed.... in The Bride Wore Camo. (/movie trailer guy's voice)
dead croc keyring
Thursday, February 24, 2000
This is what I've been looking for, a dead reptile with a bad attitude. I wonder if they have a british version with a V. Without curiousity, where would we be?!?
The Archive
Thursday, February 24, 2000
Ok, one more time. This is how you get to the old stuff! You click the link above or the one on the upper left! Is that so hard!?! And for God's sake, get your finger out of your ear, you don't know where it's been. Now mow the lawn. I'm not gonna ask you again.
