weird, weird weekend
Monday, October 2, 2006 06:52 p.m.

Friday: Went with my mom and Justin to Target and got some stuff...not much ...rainy...but it was good to get out.

Saturday: Let's just say that the gig at my aunt's benefit was weird. It was mostly our friends and family, some Chinese church people, and some African American friends...and it was all in a Christian cafe? Weird...and very disorganized...but it made money and I got to practice a bit by playing.

Sunday: Went to BK with my Mom and more Target...got this BIG HONKING HULK figure for only 15 bucks...it's like 12inches and weighs like 5 lbs. HUGE! HULK SMASH! I am addicted to these Marvel Icons huge mamma figures. I'm gonna collect 'em all!...picked up Justin and my dad...home and napped... Just been weird lately.

Krypto has been peeing and pooping and it's been really annoying. Jen taught us to put him in a choke hold and stare him down to maintain dominance...well, that and we got a baby gate to hold him in the hallway. I am totally gonna fall over and smack myself on the knee one day.

Work was bleccch...Joyce is so funny and nerdy sometimes. I hope we do come as a package deal and find a new job together. Actually ended up taking the train with Karen our production person...she actually didn't get laid off...but still she's stressed...how is this work gonna get done?

Eh...tired and all I want to do is buy comics and toys and cds and dvds....that's my coping mechanism...and it is COMPLETELY not helpful. I need to be saving money and not chasing some stupid thing...damn compulsions.

anyways...not much else going on...just want to find a job. Phone interview tomorrow...but a job out on LI? I dunno about that one...we'll see.

whooo...lots of leads
Friday, September 29, 2006 02:08 p.m.

Dog woke me up last night...I went to get some water and the dumb dog pees right in front of me. I had to hit him for the first time...I hate doing that...but he has to learn. I smacked him on the bum...and he didn't even flinch. sigh...I'm a wuss.

Got in to work early too...a bunch of leads:

1. Ken emailed his boss and someone from his company emailed me to set up a phone interview for Tuesday...but the company is based in Texas and Long Island...neither of which is too promising.

2. I emailed my resume to my exec. ed. and as an aside I was like "Well, let me know if you have like a cousin that works at DC Comics." Turns out she has a friend whose husband works there! I'm not sure if they keep in touch...but she is going to try and make a connection for me.

3.I emailed my alums at NYU to see if any of them have any contacts...we'll see if that comes through. *UPDATE* One alum works at Hooked on Phonics! I just emailed her my resume!

Actually got some work done today...and will keep on going. *sigh* Days seem so much longer when our work doesn't mean much...and no one really cares.

Our top boss quit early...and she bought us all Krispy Kreme...like 40 boxes of donuts...and they were all gone by 11:00.

The most possibly awesome thing: I was emailing Teresa (hot bartender at NL...that reminds me of HER..but not evil) said that if I was bored...I could maybe teach her how to play guitar one day....and she told me to drop by if I was in the neighborhood...um...hmmm...should I even? Nah...not gonna think anything of it...but yeah. Possibilities?

Practicing for gig later tonight...and just trying to get some sleep later. Not much else I guess. Just glad this weird week is over.

more of the same
Thursday, September 28, 2006 10:39 p.m.

Not much is happening. People are despondent and just unmotivated. Going through the motions and not really caring. I can't blame them really.

Took a long lunch and a coffee break...and still got work done. Honestly, I could care less at this point.

Funny thing...one of the girls in Joyce's pod was like "You hang out with Abe a lot"...um...we work together...and Joyce was like "I love him."...I told her to tell her friend that I was her love slave. I think she actually did.

Must keep searching for jobs. I'm on edge and just moody. And Krypto pooped and peed in my room. ARRRGH.

Mom seems to be doing ok...nothing to worry about? I hope so.

Oh, Lord...it's gonna be rough. I want to get GNR tickets...but I really shouldn't...we'll see what happens tomorrow morning.

TGIF.

stress...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006 08:31 p.m.

Yes, I was a rebel and wore jeans to work. A lot of networking and sending out resumes...and actually got a bunch of work done too. Surprise, surprise.

And we made Gawker!

http://www.gawker.com/news/layoffs/

Comics were awesome today...and then I left work early to check on my mom. She went to a GI specialist...and it turns out she has a thumb-sized polyp that needs to be removed. They did a chest x-ray...so I'm thinking that was because they wanted to see if there was any chance of cancer metastisizing...it's got me worried....but we'll find out more when it is removed in two weeks. No need to stress now...but you know me.

Picked her up in Chinatown and had dinner and some pastries...it was good to walk around...but too crowded and humid. And she's trying to fix me up with her friend's daughter...oh great.

Just been a really weird week. I want to just chill out and not have to think right now.

Pray for me...I'm needing some help.

laid off.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006 08:34 p.m.

Yup...it's true.

Here's how it happened: managers get called in at 9:30...everyone else goes to the hotel lobby at the Affinia across the street. We each get folders with our end date...most people got the same as me 11/22. Great.

Everyone was just insanely pissed off...some people went to the hotel bar...and others went back to gather their things. I went to lunch with Joyce, Krystelle, John, Josh, and Matt. Ate...went back. Talked to Stacey...our exec and she was laid off too...and just stunned. Told us not to work on our project until she found out what was going on...great. Just great.

Though there is a chance we could go into business for ourselves as a development house. Will have to think about that some more.

Went to Stout for a drink around 3:00...talked with my "blue folder buddies"...and it just sucks. Some people were with the company for over 20 years...and they get the same treatment...ugh.

Came home...applied to jobs. Emailed a bunch of people...trying to figure out what comes next. I'm sick and tired...and pissed.

vicious cycle...
Monday, September 25, 2006 08:04 p.m.

Yup...work was crazy hectic today...but we didn't get an announcement...I heard that it will be tomorrow because people might be out because of the Jewish holiday...so tomorrow. I hear rumors that we are going to get 60 days...and then that's it...we are all gone. Not sure if this is just hearsay...guess we will find out again.

This cycle of being unemployed...I'm really not looking forward to it...but if I get a month off...and then get something again in January...that might be awesome.

Picked up my new glasses today...I think they look pretty cool. Makes me look smarter...ok, nerdier.

Home...Krypto barfed on Chris' bed...ack...we may need to put him in the cage again. Uh-oh...

Watching Desperate Housewives...and I've always thought Eva Longoria looked like or at least reminded me of...HER...and then in the last episode...she said "Tell it to my Chinese friend...SUE ME!" And I was genuinely stunned...just weird. I just want to erase the past two years completely...what good has come out of it?

It also got me thinking...ok I'm gonna be a little candid...but the last girl I kissed was ...ACK! The last booty I held was...HUH?!?!? The last boob was...REALLY?!?! Sweet jeebus...three different...and none of them meant anything...and one was certainly by accident (drunkness on my part)...one was shocking (drunkness on her part) and one was just a cyclical dance of something that will never come to fruition (yeah, the crazy one again.)...so when am I gonna get the trifecta from someone I genuinely love again? Looks like 2010...2015? Sad, sad.

I'm still waiting for hindsight...why this and that and this happened so I could get somewhere good...well, so far it's plateaued...and I think a downturn is coming before anything good. I don't want to be all like "poor me"...because I know there are so many people who have it worse...but at the same time...don't I get a chance at happiness? Have I missed out? What's out there...what is God's plan? And have I really gone so far off track?

Tomorrow...at least I see this one coming. No more bad surprises, ok?

sunday
Sunday, September 24, 2006 09:47 p.m.

A weird day...tossed and turned for hours last night and didn't fall asleep until 4 am...woke up feeling really weird and stressed and for some reason thought about her and just got insanely depressed. I found a file on my computer last night...just seeing the name of the file just got to me...that was probably the reason.

Went home to keep Justin company. Had lunch, watched some BSG, moved drums for him, and passed out for half an hour. Eric, Charlotte, and Arnold came back with White Castles and we pigged out for a bit.

Came home and Chris, Jen, Nina, Kelvin, and Betty were over and...MUFRU!!!! Krypto went nuts and tried to hump him...crazy gay dog. Played with the dogs for a while and they went home...so tired...and just feeling so peculiar.

Big news tomorrow or Tuesday...everything else is on hold until then...ack. It's completely stressing me out. Pray for me...oh, man.

productive saturday
Sunday, September 24, 2006 12:20 a.m.

I can't say "dog"...I've been saying "dohwg" or "dwaaahg"...just a weird habit. Krypto is definitely growing on me...he's getting cuter by the day, but the humping is totally gross.

Went to bed super early last night...a stressful week and just tired. Eric, Charlotte, and Arnold got in last night...and then we went out to East Dim Sum buffet with the folks and Justin...just too much food...oy.

Hung out for a little bit and then they went out to set Arnold up with one of our mutual friends. I went home and cleaned up my bookshelves majorly...it involved some hammering...I'll have to finish up later.

Then my aunt comes over and gives me a huge single couch thingee...it was HUGE. Heavy stuff and I managed to get it in...and some more major clean up and moving stuff around...and then I had to move the drum kit home so there would be some room in the apartment.

Anyways...super productive...and at the same time I was invited to three separate parties that I am waaaay too tired to attend...not to mention I am broke and feeling a bit antisocial.

I got a great workout today though...it helps with the stress...but I can't keep feeling on edge...and thinking about things and people I shouldn't be thinking about. Arrrgh. I'm just frakking crazy.

must sleep...but must look for jobs first...oy.

what a way to end the week...
Saturday, September 23, 2006 12:39 a.m.

Was surprisingly productive at work today...got a lot done and then Joyce, Marti, Carissa, and I took Krystelle out for her bday...dang...those girls have got some filthy stories!

Anyways, got some disturbing new...seems like the execs know what is going to happen and it isn't good...not sure if it's just a rumor...but it seems like monday or tuesday...people are going to get cut...and we may have a "skeletal crew" left to finish up our projects....and then it might all be left over.

My old manager was like..."Abe, you are such a catch...don't tell me you are single"...um...that came out of the blue...but it was nice to hear.

So I'm coming to terms with the fact that I may be getting laid off next week...or at best in a few months...but it seems like whatever is going to happen...my tenure at this job is coming to an end...and I'm going to be on the market again...and oh man...it's not a pleasant feeling.

Knowing will help...but that doesn't change the fact that I am still going to feel the stress. Ugh.

Came home and played with the dirty dawwwg...he pooped twice...and A LOT. And he keeps rubbing his butt on things...and now...my worse fear. He started humping his bed. Well, he's getting his balls excised in a few weeks...so...enjoy them while they last, buddy.

Not feeling so great...but watching BSG and Extras on HBO on Demand (finally) helped me forget about things a little...sucks and sucks....I hate feeling so helpless.

Anyone have a job or a nice girl for me? Please let me know ASAP.

moody
Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:20 p.m.

I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I've been just completely loopy lately. Ok one minute and then just so depressed lately.

I think it's a combination of work stress, losing my friends to marriage and circumstances, feeling lonely, and hating my job also...I think it's all of these things...and it's not one big thing I can point out...but all these everyday things that don't have easy fixes that are wearing me down.

Anyways, I'm getting new glasses on Monday, work is gonna be hectic (whether or not we are going to be here...that's next week) and I have it on good word that someone I don't like is getting canned soon. yikes.

Went to the theater to line up for the movie...I was there at 5:00 and the line was loooong. I was at the halfway point...and my mom came...and we got up to 10 people in front of us...and they shut the door. There were a good 200 people behind us too.

Sucks...so we went to a diner for burgers and took the train home...and I was telling her how things have been lately and I almost got all choked up...it was weird feeling like that on the train. I don't know if I need to get some professional help (not that I can afford it) or if it's just lack of sleep and stress...but quite honestly...I just feel terrible.

I'm going through a rough patch and I'm just so tired. I've been trying to take my mind off things with comics and dvds and music and family and praying and...things just aren't helping much.

Day to day is such a crap shoot...but this emotional rollercoaster is tiresome and so cliche. I just want to be on a nice stretch of track...and just be ok.

I just feel like I have little control over things...and I feel like people are always asking me for help or for things...and I can do it...but I just want to be taken care of and not have to feel like I am weak.

Listening to metal is empowering--that's what that VH1 doc said. Reading comics and watching BSG is an escape ...where things are more black and white. Good and evil. Pick a side. But in the real world...these mundane, stupid things are what's wrecking my world right now.

Happiness is a warm puppy? Krypto...let's play.

TGIF...I need some rest.

comics, models, cylons...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 10:10 p.m.

I was in bed at like 930 yesterday...just exhausted because I have not been sleeping well this past week...make that ...month.

At least my BSG Season 2.5 was in...and let me tell you...wow. Seriously, the best drama on tv right now. And I am not a huge sci-fi fan...not really...but this show is so much more than ships and robots. The quest for humanity...and the damning of the human race for what it does...that is at the heart of the show...and it's what makes it so frakkin' awesome.

Civil War #4 came out today too...and man, I don't know how much longer Millar can keep doing this...I mean, Thor clones ? "Clor" ...and Goliath dies...c'mon Millar has killed like 3 giant people already. And using supervillains to hunt down the anti-reg superheroes...I cry BULLSH$T!!! He better wrap this up right.

Watched the premiere of ANTM and my faves are: Caridee (cute blonde), the twins (have that look), Meg (rock chick...but needs something), Anchal (hot Indian girl), and A.J. (looks like a model)...but none are as cute as Joanie...Monique is kinda hot...but she is one crazy biznatch. Why am I watching this show? I guess having a guilty pleasure for ME...is really digging down deep. I'm hooked on this dang show!!!

Got Krypto a doggie bed! He can be so dumb and ugly...he could not figure out it was a bed at first...took him awhile...and now he won't get out of it...and he SNORES!...and he gets cuter and cuter....awwww ! Puppy!

Joyce actually looked superhot today! She wore big hoop earrings and dark red lipstick...and a black tanktop...funny thing is I told her that I loved the "big hoop/dark lipstick combo" last week (I think I even blogged about it not so long ago)...but no...she lives with her bfriend...so I'm not thinking anything more than the fact that I "gave her some fashion advice" (which makes me supergay...but whatever.) anyways, she told me something about a relative...who had an eye gouged out by his gfriend's ex...that's nuts!

Oh...and my quote of the day..."Good luck at the doctor, my boricua princess...I hope things are ok with your bajingo." Yeah, she has a doctors appt. tomorrow...and she thought that was hilarious.

I am so stressed and tired otherwise...still a ton of work and the big announcement is less than a week away...must, must apply for any and every possible job I can.

Got free tix to "All The King's Men" taking my momma to the movies tomorrow night.

And last but not least...Happy Birthday to Sabrina and Cindy!!! Miss you guys! Love ya.

Oy...it's only gonna be Thursday???

more weirdness
Monday, September 18, 2006 10:39 p.m.

Wow...i just overslept like crazy. Got up at 945 and called in sick. My foot is all swollen from mosquito bites and I was all congested from allergies.

Stayed home and played with Krypto...first time I ever picked up dog poop! The hair around his mouth and nose is already growing back...I can't even imagine what he looks like with hair...he's totally ugly cute right now..and very well behaved.

Watched tv and took a nap... ready for work and assorted other nuttiness tomorrow.

Weird, weird...hoping for good stuff soon.

Introducing...KRYPTO !!!
Sunday, September 17, 2006 11:35 p.m.

We have a dog. Long story short...Chris found an abandoned Shih Tzu wandering the streets. The dog was just filthy and not looked after...so he and Jen brought him to the vet...and after calling him "Ugby" (Ugly Baby) after he got shaved (since all his fur was such a mess)...we renamed him KRYPTO!!!! Wow...this is going to be weird...just the topper to a weird weekend.

I was up until 5 am...tossing and turning after applying to some jobs online...and I was up at 1030...doing laundry and getting somewhat addicted to America's Top Model...Joanie is by far my favorite...and that Asian girl Gina was such a ditz...anyways...weird.

Then...went over to the house where the whole family and some church kids that Chris and Nina brought over had some food and fun...Justin got one of those basketball shoot out thingees...and the basement has been totally cleaned out...so weird...

Anyways...met Krypto there...and now he is home with us...he's rather well behaved and really strong...which leads me to wonder what happened. I'm wondering if some old lady somewhere passed away...and no one was around to take care of him. My heart just breaks to think about how he's been living on the streets for so long...I wonder why no one took him in or claimed him...no tags and the vet...well...I guess it can legally be ours.

Well, if my theory is correct...I hope the lady is looking down on us and is happy that her dog is being cared for. First time I've ever shared a pet...it's going to be and adventure...weird weekend, huh?

less money...mo' problems
Sunday, September 17, 2006 12:49 a.m.

So...I threw my shower door away. Looks like the shower is dead. My super is going to research how much it will cost to get a new shower installed. I'm thinking it's going to be around a grand...hope it's less. Oh no.

Cleaned out the basement at the house...and man, my back is aching. Moved a lot of stuff out and just got dust all in my lungs...not pleasant. But got it all done in time so Justin can have his friends over for his bday. I can't believe he is 16! My baby is seriously big now...I used to change his diapers and give him baths and cuddle with him...now he's this big kid...just unbelievable.

Some serious problems with my friend's family. Sometimes all you can do is just offer your support and prayers...not much else you can do to make things better. Feeling helpless and ineffectual...but what more can I do?

The whole job stress thing is getting to me... making me think about a lot of things...not sure what it was that led me to the nightmare I had this morning. Again, it was all about communication and trying to meet up...and not being able to. Sometimes I miss her...and then I realize that hate has overtaken it...I don't like feeling animosity towards anyone...but it's either that or loss...or just feeling numb.

I'm seriously not good company right now. I'm just a ball of stress and misery. This not knowing...and still working super hard to meet deadlines is not good. On top of that...just the general sense that I don't want to be around people most of the time. Silly problems and just stupid stuff right now...I just don't have the time for it when there are serious things going on.

And yes, I do get lonely sometimes...but that's just something I have to deal with for the time being.

Check in with me in October...I think by then things will be better. Right now...I'm just mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted.

I just want to sleep and not have nightmares.

I'm tired of taking care of other people and helping out when I haven't had anyone take care of me in so long. At this point...I'm not even sure if I'd be able to let anyone do that for me.

Lord, I just want some relief and rest. I'm sorry for being so out of it...but I just feel so spent.

Just not in the mood to hear about weddings, silly boy/girl problems, all this stuff that people seem so preoccupied with. Yes, I've shared in your joy and your "drama"...but please, just give it a bit of a rest for a bit. I don't know why people don't realize the fact that when someone is going through a hard time...they really can't get all excited about how great things are for you...it's like rubbing someone's nose in it.

Just a lot on my mind...and I want some stupid dvds and comic books and METAL to take my mind off the fact that I may be unemployed and alone...again. I am not looking forward to a repeat of last year. I just want things to be ok...and it seems like they are going to get worse before it gets better.

Basically, I'm feeling down about myself and it seems like everywhere I turn someone is reminding me of my failures. Something my dad said the other night...just really got to me...aI don't even want to talk about it. And everytime I talk to one particular friend who went through some major crap...and seems to have bounced back so quickly...makes me feel smaller and smaller and less and less hopeful that my situation will change.

Just a little tidbit. Single people--whatever they say to you--deep down they HATE hanging out with a bunch of couples. Nothing depresses someone more than being the odd numbered person. Nothing. So yeah, third wheel is not gonna work for me. I'm not gonna hang out with you and your significant other or this new person you are "hanging out" with or whatever right now. No thanks.

I think it's hard to believe in yourself when you are waiting for someone to believe in you. I'm tired of fooling myself and trying and trying. I know I have all this talent and ability...but does it even really matter to anyone? I'm just looking for someone to see the worth in me....but right now I feel like I can't change a thing...and the world is just crushing down.

I'm just feeling depressed and exhausted about the world and the people in it. My faith is waning...and I'm looking for God in the details...is it weird that I've been finding spiritual lessons and inspiration in comics and Iron Maiden songs? Yeah...things are weird.

Yeas...I'm ranting and getting all emo right now...it's late and I'm cranky.

work is work
Thursday, September 14, 2006 10:15 p.m.

Yes, got a ton of stuff done today...what a dreary rainy day...what makes it worse is the fact that the rumor mill is in full effect...the chances of us all getting laid off...very, very real...but what can we do until we get the official word? Not much...which sucks...morale is low...and we have to keep plugging away for now.

Took Jon to Ktown for his bday lunch and we talked about work with Josh...put a damper on things.

After work...had coffee with Tien and Kathleen and more work talk...man, what a downer.

Anyways...a few of my friends are going through this phase of wanting to meet new people and "have fun"...I guess it really depends on the person...cause me...well, I'm just tired of the games...what is the point of "having fun" when someone is bound to get hurt in the end? I want something real...something that is going to lead somewhere. I've had enough fun.

I was born to be a husband and a dad...and I'm hoping I get a chance to be one within 5 years. I want to be a young dad that plays ball with his kids...that is active and fun and who really, really wants to love them with a joyful heart. All these years of betrayal...well, I'm scared that the older I get...the more bitter I will become. There is still some optimism left in me...still good intentions. I just want to be able to share it with someone who isn't going to turn out to be evil incarnate.

I'm sorry...but some girls are just EFFIN' idiots... they are capricious and untrustworthy...and just selfish. I do believe that what goes around eventually comes around...and if they keep going on that path...they are going to be miserable when they get to be a certain age.

I want to keep my integrity...what little is left...and I'm tired of just ruining things...having things be ruined for me. So yeah, the bitterness and distrust has found a foothold...but I have faith that this is temporary. Someone out there has got the key to this hardened heart...now finding her...well, that's the challenge.

Urrrgh...things are sucking right now. Bad.

Gig...whoah.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006 09:28 p.m.

Ok...just wow... what a weird day...and the gig was just...awesome and totally crazy too.

Let's skip to the good parts...so I was the first musician on...said a few jokes and just launched into the songs...had some problems with the mic...ack...but I managed to get around it...Ended up singing without the mic for a bit...in any case I thought the crowd LOVED me...I got some sweet love...and my mini covers went off great...more on why in a bit.

Some pretty good comedians. Might actually try to get this guy Jay to do some comedy at Nightingale...we'll see. Jon Flor was good as usual...a Britney Spears song...and the Natalie song again...more comedy...Air was awesome that night...really funny stuff...

And Aiko Star...lead singer Veronica is super hot and has a good rockin' voice...guitarist Alex was good too...and the thing is...they are a death metal band! Played acoustic and brought friends...which is why my Ozzy and Metallica bits were so well received I suppose...might work with them some time...even if they sang about devil worship?!?!? Didn't sound very evil...

Anyways...then the headliner...Dan something went on...he opens for Russell Peters so he's in the big leagues...started off ok...and then he just snapped. Ranted on and on about religion, how he used to make so much money...and then about the comedy industry etc...man...Air, Tom, and some of the other performers were wondering if we should get him outta there...and then Dan just took off.

TOTALLY WEIRD...anyways...Air was trying to say something to close the night...and then I just ran up there and said that we should end on a high note and gave out free CDs...people snapped them up like crazy! And then Tia and Eunice wanted to take pics...and then all of a sudden this girl who was a friend of Veronica's wanted to take a pic with me...really cute girl named Jing I think...I thought she was like 20...and she was like "I loved all your covers cause I'm 35." WHAT?!?!?

Anyways...it was taped and it's supposed to be on YouTube soon...so maybe we can relive the mic problems and the meltdown...

Awesome time...supercrazy...but very memorable. I'd totally do it again.

Oh...people that came. Chris, Jen, Nina, Kelvin, Lorelei, her two friends, Sofia and her friend, and Eunice and Tia...fun fun fun...but so tired.

Got in to work around 1030 (I stayed late last night...so it was fine) and it was just gogogogogogo got a ton of stuff done...but just flat out tired now...oh man.

I need some sleep and some just vegging out time (I feel like a tater)...but have coworker drinks tomorrow night...I want to be unconscious soon. Week went by fast though.

wacky day...
Tuesday, September 12, 2006 04:27 p.m.

What a weird day... last night, Chris was taking a shower and the shower door fell off...ripping out a whole column of tiles. Crazy.

This morning...I see this totally hot brunette...and we make eye contact...and she literally...looked me up and down...I looked away...looked back...SAME...this happened a few times...maybe she was giving me the stinkeye...I can never tell.

THEN...i get to work and ride the elevator up with Curtis Sliwa from the Guardian Angels...and he was with his wife and baby...so different from the tough guy I saw on tv all through the 80s.

Work was work...then went out for lunch with J...and we go to this "burgers and cupcakes place"...where they took a long time to get us our food...turns out the order never came out...anyways...we had a long lunch...and they didn't charge us! We gave the guy a tenner...he was nice.

And one of my coworkers here interviewed at my old company...and now we are getting drinks with some of my old coworkers so she can get some dirt...weird...worlds colliding...

Such a weird day already....and I still have the gig tonight...yipes...hope it's good weirdness.

remember
Monday, September 11, 2006 07:58 p.m.

Tried to go on with life as usual today...but it just felt eerie...Five years...so much personal tragedy in that time...but on the whole...it's nothing compared to the hole in my city...still feeling it. Hope those who lost someone are comforted. Thoughts and prayers go out.

Work was productive surprisingly...not much else. Came home and finished up freelance and rehearsed.

Gig tomorrow should be fun...not long set time...but should be a bunch of people coming...and it will be great to play for a different crowd. Surprises, as always...hope I remember the arrangements for the two songs...jam packed and a new version of "reverie" to spice things up.

Life does go on...I just hope it gets better.

weekend
Sunday, September 10, 2006 06:25 p.m.

Just a general call out for prayers and good thoughts for my friend...she founda lump a few months ago, but she's ok...and recently her grandmother and grandfather both had pretty serious health problems and were hospitalized...and now...her dad has a brain tumor. All this...and she's getting married in a few months. My goodness...that's a lot to deal with. Just send some love to Romana.

Had a rough time yesterday...woke up waaay too early and had to take a nap at around 4...and then got up at 830...which means I didn't get to sleep until like 4. But I watched Dane Cook, some VH1 metal docs (which were awesome), and some anime...

Trinity Blood--awesome new anime series...and two of the main characters are named...Abel and Esther... how weird is that?!?!? Yeeesh...

Anyways, went home and helped the family clean up the basement and now my back is killing me. I've got to finish up this freelance stuff...and then more rehearsals...and I need to lie down. My arms feel like jello from moving all that stuff and...just ow.

Don't want to go to work tomorrow...it's been 5 years...and it just feels wrong to think of it as just another day...but life goes on. Hope it's a good day...hope we all stay safe and remember.

NYU reception
Saturday, September 9, 2006 12:35 p.m.

Work was...bleh...haven't slept well all week so I was in a bit of a daze all day...but managed to be really productive and set some things up for next week.

Met up with my friend Christina...and took her to the NYU reception. She's trying to get into the MFA program...so I thought it would be a great opportunity for her to meet with the faculty and alums.

The reception was for Melissa...who was the director of our program. She wrote me a letter of recommendation when I was applying to teaching jobs (I may be able to still use that letter)...and she was always great when we had problems, had to manage our work...etc...she is just flat out awesome. She left the program for her family, whom have moved to Vermont...so ...it's sad to see her go...but she will always be part of the program.

Anyways, went in looking for the right lounge...and guess who walks behind me...Melissa and her son Luke! Caught up a little and went to Silverstein Lounge. LOTS of people I did not recognize at all...by the end of the night...I think I saw maybe 5 people from my years...which was kinda sad...

Ended up talking to a few alums, some new folks...but most importantly I got to see Phil and chat with him a little. I was relieved that he still remembered me! It's been awhile...but it was great. I was talking to him about other faculty and then I admitted that I hadn't bought his latest book yet. He winked at me. HA.

Writer nerds would get a huge kick out of the fact that Philip Levine, Paule Marshall, Yusef Koumanyaaka, Chuck Wachtel, And E.L. Doctorow were all there. Yes...writer envy. To the non-well read...guess it don't mean spit.

Talked to Russ...he got promoted and will be partially in charge now...so I asked if we could try to do the alumni thing I did a few years back...and he said for sure...the program is moving to 10th street and we are getting our own town house...which is awesome and perfect for alumni stuff.

I talked to Jen a lot about whether alums would be willing to...and eh...maybe...people are full of ego, piss, and vinegar...so who knows. But lots of the new folks might be willing to. So, we'll see.

Said goodbye to Melissa and chatted a bit more. Hope she keeps in touch with us all.

Left and took Christina to Port Authority. Hung out until her bus came...saw a bunch of folks almost get in a fight in this deli...well, they were drinking beer in the deli...so weird that they sell beer inside the Port Authority.

Went home, ate a late dinner, watched cartoons and passed out at like 3...and then Stef calls at 9 and my grandpa calls 20 minutes later...oy...so much for sleeping in.

a natural wonder...(GRODY post! be warned.)
Friday, September 8, 2006 04:19 p.m.

I'm a little giddy...but I just had to blog about this. I went to the bathroom and out of the corner of my eye...I catch the sight of the hugest turd I've seen in a long time.

Not length-wise...but width-wise...it was like a mini football! And I know who dropped it too! This older gentleman came whistling out as I walked in...I bet it was him.

Seriously, I have no idea how that could come out of a man's butt. And I'm guessing that it expands in water (and urine) the longer it doesn't get flushed. Speaking of which...I went back in 10 minutes later and Josh came to look...yup, still there...and it looked bigger.

Ok...the biggest turd I've ever seen might have been from Alex when he was a baby. My aunt video taped it...it was just HUGE and dark and curly...just insane how big it was. I wanted her to send it to America's Funniest Home Video...but I bet they wouldn't show that.

The other runner up...my dad of course...after he came home drunk one night...something was left over in the pot.

yes, yes...gross. I know...it's just one of those days. More later...TGIF!

career?
Thursday, September 7, 2006 08:06 p.m.

What a weird day...I had a moment at work during a meeting where I shifted the whole project and molded it into what I think it should be...and the higher-ups approved it right away...and I was overjoyed. Does that mean this is a career now?

Anyways...weird day altogether...not going to embarass my friend...but she FINALLY listened to my music and was like "YOU'RE HOT!" ...sheesh...why is it like pulling teeth to get people to check out my stuff? Man...Just give it a try...you might like it. Case in point...

Talked to one of my co-workers and it seems like my old workplace brought her in for an interview! I had to tell her the truth...but maybe it will get better...who knows if she is going to take it though.

NYU party tomorrow...oh man...I wonder if I will see anyone I know. Eh...it should be interesting.

So tired...mental anguish! It's only 8 and I want to sleep....urrrgh.

A few people said they are going to try to come to the gig already...more, more...it's gonna be a fun fun show.

I'm ready for the weekend...just have to do some freelance stuff tonight and I can sleeeeeep.

Just wanted to emphasize just how HOT Kari Byron is...have you seen Mythbusters? Redhead, rockgoth chick, with big hoop earrings are HAWT!!!

And do I have some weird hoop earring fetish? Is this something from junior high that I haven't let go of? Big hoop earrings and cherry red lipstick...and I am putty.

What is wrong with me!??! seriously.

groggy.
Wednesday, September 6, 2006 09:32 p.m.

Urrrgh...what a rough day. Just feeling so tired and sleepy. The spider bite kept me up all night and the benadryl really knocked me for a loop.

Weather is weird lately...cold, hot, dry, rainy...nuts. Not much else going on... work was pretty light today...but tomorrow looks to be bad. Urrrgh.

I've been obsessed with Iron Maiden lately. Love the prog-metal...but need to find something less...epic.

Rehearsing for gig...some neat new things that I can't wait to play for people. Only have a few days left...better get on it!

spider bite
Wednesday, September 6, 2006 09:49 a.m.

So I got this painful spider bite on my arm two nights ago...and it's better now...but it still itches. It was all hot and puffy and hard like a baseball...ugh. My arm even got numb...I wish it was my "spider senses tingling"...but it wasn't.

Had dinner with my mom, cleaned up CDs, watched nip/tuck premiere...took a benadryl and passed out.

SO SO SO groggy this morning. I even took a little nap on the train...ack...how am i gonna make it through today...work on my freelance and rehearse...arrrgh.

Tired and in pain...but things could be worse...then again...they could be a lot better.

Archived...and more.
Sunday, September 3, 2006 09:42 p.m.

Ok...I just totally wiped out a whole entry by accident...so I'm just going to go back to the highlights.

Nightmare about her... yes, phone was involved...chasing something. I think it was because of the Kimber/Christian separation stuff in nip/tuck that put the idea into my head...ugh.

Comics and Iron Maiden = not thinking about relationships...thinking about epic battles and fighting.

More cleaning, finished one article, need to start on the other, need to practice for gig...and then Jenny came over and we watched movies and got take out. My dad's side of the family is filled with drama this year...

My cousin Serena got married a few months back...and then the deluge. Angela married her bfriend so she could move to Cali from Toronto; Humija married her bfriend so he could live in the States; Felicia got married really quickly...and there was all this drama because her fiancee (and bfriend for YEARS) is African American...anyways... she got married in Hawaii...and all of this happened within 6 months? (actually...Eric thought he was the second wedding...but he was the 5th! So...yeah...it all came as a HUGE surprise to me.

Yeah...too many weddings...and I'm just trying to get out of bed these days.

And yes, I know that some people mean well...but advice is something I really don't need. Especially advice about things that others have no real grasp of...I feel pretty shitty about myself lately...I don't need to be reminded of ways I could succeed or what I could do to "xyzabc"...believe me I've tried... and advice right now just makes me feel like more of a failure. it's just not working out for me in any aspect of my life right now.

Work...brutal and exhausting lately...with the threat of being unemployed. Lovelife and social life = nonexistant...paying off weddings, saving for potential lay offs, and upcoming weddings too...arrrgh.

All my pre-orders are in...so I have to be really, really careful and not buy anything else until I know about the job situation...which could be as early as Tuesday...as late as December.

Yeah...I really wish I could relax. So, how's your weekend?