Weekend starts...
Sunday, September 3, 2006 12:19 a.m.

Been pretty busy with work...had some important meetings...and I'm proud of how I take charge sometimes and assert my alpha-maleness...all of this might mean nothing if we all get laid off...so...whatever.

Big surprise...Jenny, my cousin from Canada, came to NY last minute...she's only been back a week since she spent a year in South Africa... and it's a crap time to come since we are all so busy and the weather is so bad.

Anyways...not much going on...it's been pouring because of Ernesto...but it's nice and cool and it feels like fall...so I'm happy with that.

Freelance work...some major CD cleaning up...a Costco run last night...and some other stuff...Ellen gave birth...happy bday! And...um...I forget.

Have to practice...gig is in less than two weeks! What am I thinking! I haven't done anything lately!

Watching nip/tuck season 3...and man...that is a crazy soap opera...but it's basically a love story between two men and a woman... hard to explain...but it's great. Loving it.

Will have to post about all the weddings in my family...it's been INSANE this summer.

Oh...and Maya is back in town and she emailed me ...cause she wants to have dinner soon. wooooo!

Conan at Stuy!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006 09:46 a.m.

Conan gave the grad speech at my high school this year...wow..I graduated like 12 years too early. EEEP!

Part 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi4-1d9DB9Q&mode=related&search=

Part 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLXfHyTB_y0&mode=related&search=

Les Halles
Tuesday, August 29, 2006 10:48 p.m.

Misty and drizzly and gloomy...urrgh. But work was...weird. I finished everything by lunch...and then nothing else came in...and then at the end of the day...I hear we are taking on a new series...3 books, 80 pages each, and it starts soon....wtf?!?!?

Took Iris to Les Halles for bday dinner...man, the frites there are amazing. And the steak was a little tough...but still pretty good. I like my steak a little chewy anyways. I think we are becoming good friends...and I guess that hasn't changed much. I have to admit, I do think she is pretty cute...but we seriously have nothing in common. Les Halle...*le sigh.

And oh boy...everything comes in at once. A load of comics, a load of DVDs...when I ordered this stuff months ago...I had no idea it would all arrive on the same day. Guess I know what I'll be doing this weekend...

Oh...the new music website is up. Check it out!

A little less cranky...wait until I hear the details about the new book series tomorrow...grrrr! GRRRR ! HULK SMASH!!!

monday...wooo.
Monday, August 28, 2006 10:07 p.m.

Work was actually not so bad this afternoon... yeah, the morning was utter crap...but still...finished everything by 3:30 today. Could not believe I actually had an hour of free time (I got in early and had a short lunch...so it was really only an hour)...anyways...weird.

Well, late last night I decided to revamp the music website by using the host company's wizard...and let me tell you it was pretty darn easy...and it looks pretty cool. I have a lot of options...so I can swap the look of it anytime...sweet.

Got a shipment of comics in...Marvel Zombies...ok, SPOILERS!!!

Can I tell you how cool this book was? Anyways, "Ultimate FF" version of Reed Richards discovers an alternate universe where all the Marvel heroes and most of the world has been infected by this...zombie virus. So basically, zombified versions of all the heroes you know and love are zombies...which consumes them with hunger for FLESH!

Anyways, once they feed they get a moment of clarity...some are conflicted (Spidey) and some try to find a cure...but pretty soon...they are just consumed with the HUNGER again! And they rip Magneto to shreds...yum. And then the Silver Surfer comes and announces Galactus is coming...and they eat him....and become imbued with the POWER COSMIC!!!

THEN...Galactus comes and they team up to defeat him...like always. But this time they want to EAT HIM! Some villains get the same idea...and the heroes get to KILL THEM! (Can't eat them since zombies taste bad to zombies...anyways...they defeat Galactus and...yum.

Ok..the best part is some time later on another world...the aliens prepare for the coming of Galactus...and by this they mean the Marvel Zombies who are a swarm known as ...Galactus !!! Anyways...sequel in the works...and I have to get the FF trade when that comes out...oy!

How cool is that ?!?!? Kirkman!!! YOU!!!! (He writes Invincible and Walking Dead...both of which I am loving.)

More love...4400! WOOO...season finale already? Pretty cool.

And all the pre-orders I made months ago...they are starting to come in...oh man...nip/tuck and South Park. I know what I am doing this weekend.

Taking Iris out for her bday tomorrow. Yeah, gonna be broke until October.

lazy, dreary weekend
Sunday, August 27, 2006 03:49 p.m.

Not much going on...it's rainy and yucky out. At least it isn't hot. I think the summer is just about over.

More cleaning, more comics, more tv...finished Veronica Mars and I can't wait for the new season!

Got a haircut. Justin came over and we had dinner yesterday...and then Chi and Niu came over later...and I endedup falling asleep at 7...up at almost 10....just been tired I guess.

Work out today, some video games, more tv...just chilling out. One of those weekends...

lazy, dreary weekend
Sunday, August 27, 2006 03:49 p.m.

Not much going on...it's rainy and yucky out. At least it isn't hot. I think the summer is just about over.

More cleaning, more comics, more tv...finished Veronica Mars and I can't wait for the new season!

Got a haircut. Justin came over and we had dinner yesterday...and then Chi and Niu came over later...and I endedup falling asleep at 7...up at almost 10....just been tired I guess.

Work out today, some video games, more tv...just chilling out. One of those weekends...

COMIC JOBS !??!?
Saturday, August 26, 2006 01:46 a.m.

Ok...after my touching base with Marvel last week...I got MORE good news.

DC is hiring editors.

OMG...I had a cover letter all ready and prepared...and my resume is out and over to Time Warner.

I want this job.

You know I love Marvel...but DC...oh man, that's where my nerdheart LIVES.

Either/or....a dream come true.

PLEASE CALL ME!!!!!

I *heart* Veronica Mars!
Saturday, August 26, 2006 12:34 a.m.

Took Thursday off since I was just tired and sick. Cleaned up, worked on some music, read comics, and watched a whole lot of Veronica Mars.

Weird day...tornadoes in NYC??? Weird weather...and work wasn't too bad today.

Not wanting to deal with the weather...came home. Ate, read comics, more cleaning...and more Veronica Mars.

The second season is a bit crazy since there are so many intertwining stories and mysteries...but I'm sure it all gets wrapped up...all I know is Veronica needs to stay away from boys! Sheesh...how many boyfriends has she had in 2 seasons!

But what makes season 2 so good is all the guest stars! Prepare for the nerdgasm:

KEVIN SMITH (as a clerk!) and a Buffyverse explosion with Joss Whedon himself! ...and Alyson Hannigan and Charisma Carpenter! (they even had a scene together!)...the TODD from Scrubs! Iceman from X-men and Michael Cera and Alia Shawkat from ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT in the same episode (but Maeby gets raped?!?!? jeeebus.) Lucy Lawless from Xena AND BSG! Mac is from Napolean Dynamite!!! Kristin Cavalleri...and gosh so many more...just a TON of guests from shows that I LOVE...I mean...c'mon...Kevin Smith, Joss, Buffy characters, SCRUBS, AND Arrested Development?!??! Did someone read my blog or hi-jack my brain? How cool is that...seriously.

And I am in LOVE with Veronica Mars...Kristin Bell is such a supercutie...but it's VM...her ingenuity, her wit, her humor, her tenacity...that's the kind of girl you fall in love with.

One of the main characteristics that I love is ...I guess it's closest in Chinese: "nen gan"...it translates as um..."can do"...someone who is just talented and self-sufficient...and throw in supercute. Man, that's the kinda girl you wanna spend the rest of your life with...someone who can take care of herself...who doesn't need someone to spoil her...and then I go and spoil the crap outta her. Yeah.

Anyhooo...I need to stop watching...too much too soon. A whole season in less than a week? Oh, man...I'm gonna be done by Sunday, huh? Oh well...my pre-ordered TV on DVD shows are coming in...just in time to catch up before the fall schedule. Thank goodness for DVR.

Also got "Big Game"...awesome album by ... (don't laugh)...White Lion. Seriously, guitar geeks think White Lion is awesome since Vito Bratta is one of those virtuosos...and man...99 cents...that's a steal. And wow...the memories. I haven't listened to this album in a decade....and I still remember the songs.

Go on Amazon and look for hairmetal CDs...lots are used and only 99 cents. Pretty frakkin' awesome.

What wasn't awesome: My grandma calls me over to change their water all the time (they have a water cooler)...and I go over and find my 90 year-old grandpa mopping. He dropped a jelly jar...and he swept all the glass up already...and he's MOPPING?!?!? I was IRATE! I was like...why did you not call me before?!??! He cannot be doing stuff like this. ARRGH!!! So I finished mopping and I scrubbed their toilet...it's just weird.

I have very conflicted emotions about it all. My mom has told me so many times that she absolutely forbids me to marry a woman like my grandmother. My grandfather basically devoted his entire life to her...and she doesn't ever want me to be in a position like that. She tells me that he could have done so much more if he didn't have to care for her for all these decades. Just so many problems... but then again...it shows me what true love can do...I know they love each other...but it's just...I don't even know what to say about that.

It's...being needed THAT much. It can hurt...but it can be wonderful. For me, I NEED to be NEEDED...or I don't feel like I am being useful. I've always taken care of someone...my brothers, my girls, my friends, family...but I feel weird having someone take care of me. I'm just not used to that...but it is definitely something I need. Well, one day maybe...someone will surprise me and be like "Abe, shut up...let me do this for you." And I'll know what it feels like to be love and be loved.

Oh, yeah...that was totally gay. I admit it.

Hair cut tomorrow? More cleaning...more Veronica Mars. wooooo. weekend.

Arrgh...my aching back
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 09:50 p.m.

I'm surprised I lasted this long...not sure if it's the stress or the fact that I started working out again...or not sleeping right...or all of these...but I am just flat out exhausted and I ache.

Work was another maelstrom of activity...but got it done and ahead of schedule...I think I'm due a sick day.

Swung by Doris' for dinner...but almost fell asleep on her couch...so just decided to go home...if I didn't...I'd never be able to get home.

Got comics during lunch today...nothing was going to stop me...and I did it in record time. JLA 1 was frakkin' awesome...can't wait for more next month.

Shelb stopped over with Eric and Charlotte's cake top. I have hermetically sealed it and it is now in cryogenic sleep. One day I will have a cake top to save...one day.

But until then...I'm feeling all sorts of anti-social and ...mainly broke. So unless I have a sugah mama...I'm not gonna be going out much. Though Nicole just got back from Singapore and she wants to see me...but we have to go some place superasshat cheap...

Other than that...I'm going to be in bed watching Veronica Mars.

Leave me alone.

"restructuring"
Tuesday, August 22, 2006 06:14 p.m.

Yeah...I'm blogging early since Chris is in the shower and all I want to do is wash up and go to bed...anyways.

Work was just up and down today. We just KILLED it...reviewed over 100 pages by 2:30 and then some. I think I'm actually ahead...and then I get an email saying we are getting a huge batch tomorrow...and more to follow. It's going to be like this for another month or so. It's just bloody miserable right now.

And then the call: we are restructuring...we are merging with our high school division. Which means--some people might get fired or relocated. I think my division is safe...but I can't count on anything.

In any case, just before the meeting...I get my HUGE stack of files and then...my neck just seizes up. When I'm stressed out or about to get full blown sick...that's what happens. Thank goodness it went away.

The job is so mentally taxing. And it feeds my OCD. Looking for mistakes, correcting grammar, content, cross references, vocabulary words, correct pedagogy, on and on...a million things and that gets multiplied page by page. Just flat out exhausting...and it's non-stop all day. And the thing that gets me...I'm teaching this "Sr. Ed" every day...when I'm supposed to be learning from a Sr. Ed...and she got caught sleeping at her desk today! I'm grossly underpaid and underappreciated....but I have a job...and I'm going to do it.

And one of my friend's close friends just got engaged...yup, another one bites the dust. Same age...and I'm nowhere near anything close...great.

Enough...just enough. One of my friends says that I tend to look at the "bad in things"...but if you look at my blog entries...you'll know that I tend to be optimistic most of the time...but the fact that I am wrong...that makes it seem like I'm a pessimist...but can you blame me?

I go into every situation hoping for the best...but I get let down time after time. Every new relationship, every new job...just look at the evidence here...and time and time again...I get letdown...it's not so much that I can't look at "the bright side"...it's that there isn't much of one to look at any more.

I have this friend who is going through a very, very difficult time at the moment...and in so many aspects...she's actually doing better than I am. Yes, I'm happy that things are looking up for her...but that makes me incredibly sad for myself.

I've got a job...but I'm really, really starting to loathe it. I don't have any money and I'm going to be paying off weddings, gifts, and all the junk that "I need or I'm going to go and shoot myself" (the geek stuff and my vices), all of my friends are marrying off or otherwise occupied, my brother is married and has new responsibilites, my baby brother is growing up and spending time with his friends, I'm physically and mentally and spiritually exhausted all the time now, and ...I'm still alone.

So...what do I have that's good: I've got my healthy (though I've gotten tubby lately), I've got loads of music and writing ideas (just too tired to work on it), comics have been amazing lately, I've rekindled my love for METAL, my family is doing well (just too busy to take care of me though), and...I've got the basics.

I'm used to taking care of people and helping others...but this time I'm really asking for help for me...and what I need is: actual proactive frikkin' help.

Meaning: help me find my dream job (comics/entertainment/teaching); really find me a girl that I would think is adorable and actually be compatible with (not "oh, she's single....check out her Friendster"); help me get gigs at new places I've never played; come out and actually see me play live and bring some friends (nothing more heartbreaking than prepping for weeks and then 5 people show up...still 5 is better than none)...go do something with me that I really enjoy...and not make me feel like I am dragging or begging someone (I hate dragging people to concerts...but no one REALLY digs the bands I like...the way I like them...I hate just loving the fact I am seeing a band I like...and looking over at a friend who is totally bored. I want someone to be like...OMG! WE ARE ROCKING OUT TO PLACEBO!!!! ...and that person knows all the words...sigh. Awesomeness). Buy me some booze. Buy me a cheeseburger. Buy me comics and toys. (ok...now I'm just being greedy.)

What I don't need anymore: advice. It falls on deaf ears. I don't want to hear about what I need to do or the way I need to think or what what....I'm tired and on the verge...the last thing I need to hear is how I am LACKING. If someone is feeling down about themselves...the last thing they want to hear is how "you aren't doing this and that right." And I am completely guilty of doing this too...but I know "this" already...the "shpiel"...I'm at a point where I can no longer help myself. I cannot do what you think I should be doing. I see no point in psyching myself out...seriously, what's the point? You put it down in black and white...and it is what it is.

I am mourning the loss of me...and I need people to help me get back to myself...or a version of me that is better.

Simply, I need help (see above). I'm tired of being tired.

With that said...comic books tomorrow. JLA #1...and I am thrilled. Veronica Mars Season 2 came in the mail...had it preordered for a long time now...and it's here. I am overjoyed.

Let me just bask in the little things. It's all I got right now.

it's only monday?
Monday, August 21, 2006 09:01 p.m.

...and I am knackered. I was "en fuego" today and I cleared my desk of everything...and 10 to 5...I get something else. But I took care of it. No sweat. Reviewed over 100 pages today...just rolled.

Scary thing...we get an email about a company-wide conference call that we all have to call in to tomorrow at 11:00...oh goodness...are we all going to get laid off? Yipes.

And a hearty congrats to "alfieralfie" ...whom I've mentioned from time to time...seems like the dude is actually getting married. WHOAH. If a swinging bachelor like him is gonna lock it down...Man, some hope for me yet. Congrats, dude.

Other than that...I'm struggling to keep my eyes open and it's only 9:00...all I want to do is read comics and watch tv. So lazy and anti-social. But can you blame me?

I HEART METAL !!!
Sunday, August 20, 2006 12:46 a.m.

Friday was pretty ok...had a lot of work left over for me for Monday...urrgh...but I'll deal with that later. I *may* have a chance to move to a different department...we'll see if my lead pulls through.

More interesting news: someone contacted me on Myspace to book me for a show...turns out it is at the bar near Ling Liang church! HAHAH! We used to say how ironic it was...turns out it is some hipster bar...problem is...they are asking for a cover charge ...and I only get to play half an hour...and it's a bit of a trek. I'm actually going to have to turn a gig down...weird.

Not much else...came home to play with Mu before he left...and I miss him so much. The good thing is...my mom really likes him...so we might end up getting a yorkie for Justin for his birthday! WOOOO!!!

And the whole metal revival...I guess it must be tied in to the comic thing...I guess I'm just yearning for the time when I was optimistic and things were exciting...and meeting girls wasn't heartbreaking in the sense that it is now...in any case... I've been uploading CDs to itunes...all the old school metal stuff...

And I've been buying some old CDs...hairmetal stuff goes for like 99 cents on Amazon now! SWEET. Getting me some White Lion!

Watching VH1 Rock Honors with Queen, Judas Priest, Def Leppard, and Kiss...and I just ordered some KISS from BMG...and I'm going to finally get some Priest...I mean...what a story! "Rock Star" the movie is basically about Judas Priest...and Halford is back (and totally gay....which explains the leather) and metalheads still love him. Yay for metalheads and tolerance?

Speaking of White Lion...found the video for "Love Don't Come Easy"...not only is it a great song...not only is Vito Bratta a genius...the video has a hot girl with a gorgeous patootie...I mean...gorgeous.

Saturday: Cleaned up...and cleaned up more. Caught up with 4400...went home to have dinner with the family. Went bowling with Justin and my mom...and just watched him bowl. He played 10 and a half games in an hour! High score: 132. And I got one of those quarter Disney things...it's Chip (from Chip and Dale) dressed up like...and eggplant! HILARIOUS.

A majorly weird thing I learned...Justin started drinking beer when he went to China. My folks let him drink now...and he had like a quarter of a Heineken...so...so weird.

Am I nuts? Am I the only one that appreciates these weird things? Is there someone out there that's gonna love a metalhead, comic book, cute toy loving dork?

Not counting on it...ok...exhausted. Time for sleepies.

last dog days...
Thursday, August 17, 2006 08:33 p.m.

Yeah, not exactly happy at work...but I need to be patient. I will either get promoted and stay a little longer, not get promoted and just work until I find something, or get all dramatic and quit again...arrrgh. I think I should be thankful that I have a job and just shut the EFF up... yeah.

Not much going on except playing with Mu before he goes home tomorrow. I love him! I kiss him on his doggy mouth! Even after I feed him ham and chicken! Chris went out to dinner and Mu pooped all over his room. Um...not gonna clean that for him.

Listening to some Iron Maiden...man, I wish there were still new metal bands that I liked coming out. Those were the days...back in 1988...that was the best. New stuff all the time.

One good thing...I contacte the guy I was working with at Marvel when I was interviewing and he remembered me! He got promoted to a different department...but he's forwarding my stuff to editorial...so if they have an opening...maybe I have another shot. Man, I want to get into the comic industry so badly...and since I've been falling in love with Marvel again...it would be great...but I am still a DC head at heart...either way...getting into either company would be just flat out amazing.

Sigh...doggy love...that's all I get. Tired...but week is almost over...hanging in there.

Getting it done
Wednesday, August 16, 2006 08:44 p.m.

And yes, today was the first time in a long time that I cleared my frakkin' desk of work. I finished everything I had by 4:00 meaning I don't have to go in tomorrow morning all stressed out about what I have to get done. It was a remarkable feeling, let me tell you.

Anyways, sad comic day...only got one comic...but then I was on Newsarama (comic book website) and I posted something about a comic I wanted to get....and one of my favorite comic writers posted back...and corrected me.

I said that I was looking for Mekanix by Dan Slott...but it was by Chris Claremont and drawn by Juan Bobillo... And Dan and Juan work on She-Hulk...hence the mix up...but hey...Dan Slott actually corrected me...so that was super cool. Dan Slott and John Starks in one week...sweet.

I think I want to work in comics. I'm going to figure out what I can do...and maybe try again. In the meantime, gonna try to book some more gigs and read comics and watch tv and work out...and just keep busy as a mofo.

Ok...Mu is just too cute. This morning he woke me up again and left a little surprise for me on my pillow...coughed up a hairball. But that look...how can you be mad at him...even his hairball is cute. And he just goes berserk on my bed...rotates and spins and then curls up. So adorable. I wish I had a doggy to wake me up everyday.

Not much else going on...tired...going to try to sleep early tonight...2 more days until the weekend...and then I have to get productive when Mu goes home...sniff.

MUFRU!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006 08:15 p.m.

Ok...I am seriously in love with this dog. It's not very macho...but I think I am in love. I want to keep him! So cute...he has this look that is just like "I'm just a cute, dumb dog...you gotta love me!"...and I do. He woke me up this morning and licked my face and rolled around in my bed. Just adorable! I really want a dog of my own...one day. Gonna clean up my apartment seriously and then maybe I can get a dog...and maybe a girl.

So tired... blazed through work. Haven't seen Joyce since Thursday...and she saw me in the hall and just bolted down and hugged me...I was like "NO!!!! Not at work...I need a few drinks first!"...sigh. I want to quit this job...but I'm sticking it out...I better get that raise. Gonna update my resume just in case...um...yeah a bunch of people are leaving...so, better safe than sorry.

I bought the new Christina Aguilera album...and dang...that girl has some pipes...and she is just HOT. I love her...but she confuses me...she starts the album with basically a gospel song...and then has all this dirty and nasty stuff too...weird. But I LOVE the old screen siren look...Veronica Lake, Jayne Mansfield, Marilyn, Rita Hayworth...those were some classy dames. meooowwwr.

And I was thinking the other day...you know, if my friends tried hard enough I bet they could find someone really compatible for me. If you think about ALL the people that you know, if you just asked one person a week if they knew of some cute, artsy, sweet girl that was single...I bet you could find SOMEONE. Seriously, it's the whole Friendster concept...someone out there knows someone that could be PERFECT for you...but I guess no one has the time or wants to spend the effort...yeah, not gonna get outta this funk for a while.

Damn, this song is catchy...and I can totally see Ms. Aguilera shaking her booty to this. ANYWAYS...

Demo of "epistles..." is up on the website...gonna clean up, play with the doggy, and sleep early...so tired and yet I can't sleep soundly.

Sad I had to miss Josh at CBGB...but I had to come home and let Mu out of the room...he was so excited to see me...he ran circles around me and jumped on my bed...and now Chris took him for a walk...I hope he comes back soon. I wanna play before I pass out.

Comics...just buy me comics.

back to the grind
Monday, August 14, 2006 11:21 p.m.

And wow...was I productive today. I must have reviewed nearly 100 pages. I steam rolled through it even though I was exhausted and headachey. Anyways...that was the day.

Coolest thing: I shared an elevator ride with one of my fave Knicks of all time...JOHN STARKS! I didn't say hi since the elevator was crowded...he was maybe 6'3 at tallest...still...it was awesome. So, I've seen Scott Shannon, Warner Wolf, and some newslady today...but Starks takes the cake.

Going to see Josh's band tomorrow at CBGB's...should be fun. They are pretty dang good... very commercial and main stream alt. rock sound that would definitely appeal to the masses...hot chick singer...so yeah...they could make it big one day.

Speaking of which...I've got to get some of my new stuff online...and all the comics I'm buying lately...consider it research. I'm going to write my own comic...and dang it...I need someone to draw it.

I love Mufru...cutest dog ever. Gonna go pet him now.

The Wedding
Sunday, August 13, 2006 11:22 p.m.

Oh man...what a crazy weekend. I am exhausted but I have to wait until the kids get home... anyways...let's try to sum up.

Friday: Left for Rhode Island with Justin and my dad...we hopped into the minivan and we got to the Radisson on time. Checked in and got all of our stuff ready to go. Eric and the other groomsmen came and we got things ready for the rehersal and the dinner. Picked up tuxes and got to the chapel at Brown...really nice space and man, there were a ton of people there for the rehersal. Bridal party: Emily (my new sis), Liz, Eula, Sylvia, Anne and the Groomsmen: Andy, Shelb, James Choi, Dennis and me... Pastor Rojas got us through the rehearsal and then we all went off to Bertucci's for insane amounts of pizza and desserts. Met Phillip (my new bro) and the Kang family...and all the friends that decided to come up early...just a ton of people. So tired...so we just crashed after.

Saturday: Our family got here in the afternoon and we got more Bertucci's and before you knew it...it was tux time. Mad scramble and people were getting nuts...but we got to the church with time to spare since people were stuck in traffic. Anyways, Charlotte looked stunning and Eric was sweaty. But it was fine. The weather was absolutely perfect and the ceremony went off without a hitch really. My mom looked radiant...and everyone got through unscathed. It wasn't too hot...but I did get a little woozy. Those tuxes can be brutal! Anyways, we headed back to the Radisson for the reception...and the wedding party had our own private room.

Entered and then it was time for food and booze. I sat with a bunch of Boston folks and (not naming names since I'm sure I will forget people) it was fun to catch up. James was like "we are at the wrong table! we should be sitting with the single ladies!" anyways, had a few games and stuff planned...Andy gave a great speech and he even did an impression of me...I totally forgot that I met Andy before Eric did...weird. And the slideshow was just flatout amazing because Jeremy and Sowon did it...the "Awkward" phase was the best...the infamous "chubby glasses plaid shirt" pic of Eric was repeated ad nauseum...and his GQ black and white photos with Shelb and Jack were on with some boyband music...and an animated Lance Bass! SUPERGAY! ...and superfunny.

Food was good and then it was time for dancing...and then...the rest of the night became a blur. I literally downed 6 glasses of wine in 3 mins...and then drank an entire bottle...by myself...and just danced and ended up back in my room. And then went to Chris and Kelvin's room since me and Justin were moved there (and almost got in bed with Kel!!! EEEEEW!) and passed out and woke up with Justin next to me...and no shoes and no real recollection of how the heck I got there. I don't remember falling asleep...I must have passed out. Seriously. wooo.

Sunday: So I was up at 930 and surprisingly not hung over...went down to pack and have breakfast with the fam...our kids are still the cutest...and they are growing up...Lulu and Justin look so big now...just crazy. And then we were ready to go. More packing and back to Boston...and the fact that my brother consummated his marriage kinda creeped me out...but his friends kept making comments that I just blocked out. Anyhooo...said goodbyes and got to Boston and to church where we all nearly fell asleep. Had an early Greek dinner with my grandparents (plus my grandma from Toronto), the Kang parents and grandma, and the couple. I was just so so so tired...but the food was good and I passed out in the car shortly after...

So...the whole weekend is summarized thusly...so much more to say...but I am just beat. Eric and Char got us all gifts...mine was a flask/lighter combo that was engraved "Abe, always there for me" and "Guh" (Chinese for older bro is Guh Guh)....so here's to debauchery and smoking! I love it.

And yes, had a good time and was very happy for my bro and my new sis and extended family. WOW...so weird to think about it...but it's great....Mrs. Kang Chang (oh yeah, Mrs. Cheng Feng is home now too...apparently, I called her when I was drunk last night...wow...I vaguely rememeber dialing but have no idea what I could have said.) but of course I have to face my own miserable existence now.

Crap job that is slowly making me ill (and /or killing me), no prospects for any one to have anything serious with, and just the general malaise of me spinning my wheels again.

Well, now what are we going to do about this? The big weddings are over and done with...now it's ME time. What do I need to do? Whooo boy... anything but a pity party. Let's get productive and kick some metaphorical and literal arse. Get to kickin'.

The Wedding
Sunday, August 13, 2006 11:22 p.m.

Oh man...what a crazy weekend. I am exhausted but I have to wait until the kids get home... anyways...let's try to sum up.

Friday: Left for Rhode Island with Justin and my dad...we hopped into the minivan and we got to the Radisson on time. Checked in and got all of our stuff ready to go. Eric and the other groomsmen came and we got things ready for the rehersal and the dinner. Picked up tuxes and got to the chapel at Brown...really nice space and man, there were a ton of people there for the rehersal. Bridal party: Emily (my new sis), Liz, Eula, Sylvia, Anne and the Groomsmen: Andy, Shelb, James Choi, Dennis and me... Pastor Rojas got us through the rehearsal and then we all went off to Bertucci's for insane amounts of pizza and desserts. Met Phillip (my new bro) and the Kang family...and all the friends that decided to come up early...just a ton of people. So tired...so we just crashed after.

Saturday: Our family got here in the afternoon and we got more Bertucci's and before you knew it...it was tux time. Mad scramble and people were getting nuts...but we got to the church with time to spare since people were stuck in traffic. Anyways, Charlotte looked stunning and Eric was sweaty. But it was fine. The weather was absolutely perfect and the ceremony went off without a hitch really. My mom looked radiant...and everyone got through unscathed. It wasn't too hot...but I did get a little woozy. Those tuxes can be brutal! Anyways, we headed back to the Radisson for the reception...and the wedding party had our own private room.

Entered and then it was time for food and booze. I sat with a bunch of Boston folks and (not naming names since I'm sure I will forget people) it was fun to catch up. James was like "we are at the wrong table! we should be sitting with the single ladies!" anyways, had a few games and stuff planned...Andy gave a great speech and he even did an impression of me...I totally forgot that I met Andy before Eric did...weird. And the slideshow was just flatout amazing because Jeremy and Sowon did it...the "Awkward" phase was the best...the infamous "chubby glasses plaid shirt" pic of Eric was repeated ad nauseum...and his GQ black and white photos with Shelb and Jack were on with some boyband music...and an animated Lance Bass! SUPERGAY! ...and superfunny.

Food was good and then it was time for dancing...and then...the rest of the night became a blur. I literally downed 6 glasses of wine in 3 mins...and then drank an entire bottle...by myself...and just danced and ended up back in my room. And then went to Chris and Kelvin's room since me and Justin were moved there (and almost got in bed with Kel!!! EEEEEW!) and passed out and woke up with Justin next to me...and no shoes and no real recollection of how the heck I got there. I don't remember falling asleep...I must have passed out. Seriously. wooo.

Sunday: So I was up at 930 and surprisingly not hung over...went down to pack and have breakfast with the fam...our kids are still the cutest...and they are growing up...Lulu and Justin look so big now...just crazy. And then we were ready to go. More packing and back to Boston...and the fact that my brother consummated his marriage kinda creeped me out...but his friends kept making comments that I just blocked out. Anyhooo...said goodbyes and got to Boston and to church where we all nearly fell asleep. Had an early Greek dinner with my grandparents (plus my grandma from Toronto), the Kang parents and grandma, and the couple. I was just so so so tired...but the food was good and I passed out in the car shortly after...

So...the whole weekend is summarized thusly...so much more to say...but I am just beat. Eric and Char got us all gifts...mine was a flask/lighter combo that was engraved "Abe, always there for me" and "Guh" (Chinese for older bro is Guh Guh)....so here's to debauchery and smoking! I love it.

And yes, had a good time and was very happy for my bro and my new sis and extended family. WOW...so weird to think about it...but it's great....Mrs. Kang Chang (oh yeah, Mrs. Cheng Feng is home now too...apparently, I called her when I was drunk last night...wow...I vaguely rememeber dialing but have no idea what I could have said.) but of course I have to face my own miserable existence now.

Crap job that is slowly making me ill, no prospects for any one to have anything serious with, and just the general malaise of me spinning my wheels again.

Well, now what are we going to do about this? The big weddings are over and done with...now it's ME time. What do I need to do? Whooo boy... anything but a pity party. Let's get productive and kick some metaphorical and literal arse. Get to kickin'.

wrapping up
Thursday, August 10, 2006 08:54 p.m.

Yup, I'm back in Queens...but not for long. I thought I was going to head up to Boston tonight, but it turns out I'm not going until tomorrow morning...which is good anyways. I am flat out exhausted. Work has just been brutal. 'nuff said. So I am very much looking forward to sleeping in my own bed for at least tonight...and then it is off to Boston.

Cleaned up Doris' place and packed up. Last night went out to Earl's for dinner with Lynn and Sofia...a little awkward...but it was fine...I had two "hurricanes" and man...tastes like punch but they have a kick. Had a beer with Lynn and talked a little bit after...and then she had to leave to get ready for her friends and her mom...so it was only 930 and it was my last night in the city...and turns out Stef was a few blocks away.

Went to Tonic and I knew it was not my scene. All the finance people and stuff...not me. Met Stef's friends on their way out and then her friend Sammy came...ended up giving her a massage randomly...and yes, I have magic fingers.

Saw Stef work the room and man...I can tell that the whole bar scene thing is just ridiculous...this one guy was just talking to her the whole time about watching her purse for her...and this went on for quite a while...yeah, not exactly high brow...but watching Stef in action was a revelation...she can handle herself.

Anyways...work was just non-stop today and I lugged all my stuff home and cleaned up, packed, and ready to go to Eric's wedding...wow...it still hasn't sunk in yet...but my little bro is getting hitched. So odd.

I am so tired and I just want someone to take care of me. Gah...I need to start dating again or something...anyone got a cute friend for me?

When I get back...have to get freelance stuff done and music stuff for next month's show...update website...and back to the grind...Lord, give me strength.

Thank God for comics, dvds, good music, and anime figures of hot girls... nerd paradise. I love it.

summer of our discontent
Tuesday, August 8, 2006 09:09 p.m.

Suffering at work...it's gonna be bad the next two weeks...and hopefully it will taper off by the end of September. I'm trying to hang in there...and I really, really hope that I get compensated for this soon.

Was supposed to hang out with Stef and help her clean up...but she got out of work late and we were both exhausted.

Cute coworker brought me some cookies today cause I was obviously stressed and she left them with a little note while I was out...too bad she lives with her boyfriend! Still flirted with her though. :P

Weird thing...this girl I dated a few years back found me on line. We are supposed to have coffee sometime soon. I guess part of me feels guilty for how things ended so weirdly...so just checking in on her and catching up. Just weird to think it's been over three years. My goodness, how many girls have I gone on dates with sent 2002? Jeeez...and not one lasted more than a few dates...urrrgh.

Not much else going on...comics and dvds are keeping me sane at the moment..everything else seems like a suckfest.

Gonna be broke until next payday...and this weekend could be really stressful...urrrgh. Lord, help me.

blaaargh.
Monday, August 7, 2006 08:54 p.m.

Pretty much describes the way I feel at the moment. Just not much of anything. Work and then...just feeling kinda crappy and tired. Not sure what I can do to get out of feeling like this.

I need to really, really focus on what I want after this week is over. I need to start writing and making music and performing again. I think that's the only thing that will make me feel better and more like myself.

Basically, I'm tired of throwing a pity party for myself...but I'm just so exhausted lately. People complain about their long work hours...and even though I work 9 to 5...the majority of that time is INTENSE mental anguish. I don't think anyone who is not in this industry knows just how tiring it can be.

Imagine taking a test...now imagine WRITING the test. You have to understand how teachers and students and educational departments think...you have to know exact language and pedagogy and art and layout and deal with red tape...it is soul crushing.

I seriously want to reconsider my options. I'm giving it another month...and then I'm going to really start cranking the gears.

Tired, cranky, lonely, angry, disappointed, sad....this is not good.

VIking Quest !
Sunday, August 6, 2006 04:43 p.m.

Oh ...what a crazy weekend. Work on Friday...just held it down and got it done. Left a little early and was back in Queens to clean up and pack for Boston. Left with my folks and Justin around 7-8ish.

Got to Boston around midnight and Chris, Jack, Shelb were already there...talked to Charlotte and Eric a little bit before passing out.

Got up ...had breakfast with the fam and went to Lester and Jamie's house where we all gathered. I even called for Tool tickets and I think I got floor seats! Have to check top make sure...but heck...as long as I got tickets.

Anyways, all the guys gathered and we headed off to NH to the shore. Andy rode with the Changs and we caught up...so the guys I knew: Lei, Aaron, Sam, Lester, Andy, Dennis, Young, RIcky, Jeff, and a bunch of guys that I didn't know...but the best part...Eric's costumes: Viking which was pretty cool with a battle axe and like this "Iron Maiden-esque" scepter...and they made Eric wear Jamie's little shorts so it made it even better...and then on the boat...made him change intoa Valkyrie outfit ...with conical boobs. Excellent.

Boat ride was lovely...just beautiful weather, beers, snacks, and a bunch of dudes. We ended up catching 4 sharks (dogfish really) ...which I thought was pretty effin' awesome. Boat was the "Sushi Hunter"...even though we couldn't eat it raw. And when the guy gutted it...half of them were pregnant. And the babies were still alive! Threw them overboard though...A lot of fun, even if we didn't get any striped bass.

Back at Jamie and Lester's and we hads BBQ time...Andy Poling and some other guys came later...and we had steak, chicken, salad, pasta, beers, and played some 3 floor Halo...12 people on 3 screens....some poker and that was pretty much it. Fun stuff...Eric seemed to have had a great time and that was the most important part.

Sunday: Got up and left with Jack and Chris...listened to Dane Cook the whole way home. Got packed and went back to Doris'...I really need to get some serious sleep. I have just been exhausted. Talked to Amy a bit and she seems to be having a great time in Cali meeting all these new people. Got email from Doris and she's got a week of fun left. I wonder what else I can clean up here...

And yeah...my life is kinda sucky at the moment and if I actually stop to think about it...I get seriously, terribly depressed...so I'm keeping busy and trying to get through Eric's wedding, the next 6 weeks of crazy stress at work...and just...being here.

So yeah, I'm gonna buy me some comics cause they make me forget and it gives me an escape. I really need it now. Tired, a little grumpy, and just trying to keep my head up this week...ugggh work...and stress...but I am so happy for Eric and my new sis...can't wait for the wedding...oooh I am gonna get trashed.

Unleashed
Thursday, August 3, 2006 09:15 a.m.

Oh...ok...I think I get it. This is from an older entry: "Was full of adrenaline and I didn't want to go home...so random quick drink with Gloria...whom I haven't seen in some time...and wow...a few weeks and people can look so different. Her hair grew out and she was well rested from Florida...so maybe that was it. Caught up a little and we plan on making a weekend of watching Veronica Mars Season 2 when I get it in a month or so."

Let me translate this: "a few weeks and people can look so different. Her hair grew out and she was well rested from Florida...so maybe that was it."

MEANING: "DAAAAAYYYAAAMMMM... How did Gloria get so SUPERHOT!??! I just saw her a few weeks ago and she looked good...but sweet jeebus she looks smokin' now."

See, the previous way was me trying to comment on something without sounding like a total lech...and since Gloria is a friend and has a bfriend that I actually think is a good guy...don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. So I left it vague...which apparently means it was up for interpretation and might have seemed like I was saying the OPPOSITE of what I meant...which is crazy since Gloria is obviously a piece of hot stuff.

So, my apologies...in sparing your embarassment I may have insulted you. Mea culpa. And yes, you've got a great rack and a nice booty. (and less obviously...the best shoulders. We've discussed this.)

Which is funny because some other people get completely offended if you compliment them...not naming names...but yeah...it's weird. You can never tell.

Anyways, watched "Unleashed" last night...the fight scenes were pretty good...but it bugged the crap outta me that Jet Li was acting like such a wimp for the rest of the movie. One scene where he is watching some monster movie and he's hiding behind a jacket with scared puppy dog eyes...I wanted to smack him..."THAT'S NOT GOOD ACTING!...and you look like a douche!" Yeah...it was an ok movie. Some good moments...but some really yeeeuuuchhhy ones too.

Relief from the heat soon? Oh, please...