best rocketboom ever!
Thursday, June 1, 2006 09:46 a.m.
"Snakes on a Plane" and "X3" joke...but wait...there's more..Amanda Congdon in short shorts! SO HOT!
http://www.rocketboom.com/vlog/archives/2006/06/rb_06_jun_01.html
Had a rough night...too much stuff going on in my head...but I was very productive! I worked out, wrote up stuff for AI, and frakkin' wrote 2 songs! I was ON FIRE! Will have to post lyrics this weekend.
Also got tix for the Editors in July! WOOOT!
And Twilight Singers tonight! I'm wearing my "twilight is for lovers" t-shirt...I'm a dork for St. Greg. DULLLIIIIII!!!!
PSYCHIC!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006 02:46 p.m.
Ok..waaay too many "psychic" moments to ignore.
1. Walking down the street with Laura. She says she saw "Morvern Caller" at this theater...and I say I liked Samantha Morton in "Sweet & Lowdown" ...which I saw with my friend Jenny...who used to live on the street which we were talking about before.
2. I started calling myself "Cool Breeze" (for bowling nickname) and I'm reading Anthony Bourdain...and he mentions "Cool Breeze".
3. Last night I was practicing for gig and I was going to play "every rose..." but I end up playing "I Remember You" (same chords) and 20 minutes later...I turn on the radio and "I Remember You" is on. WEIRD!
Lots more...but I can't remember at the moment.This usually happens at the end of summer and in the fall...so I dunno what this means...maybe nothing.
I got my coworker into Twilight Singers! She LOVES the Dulli. Speaking of which...going to the show tomorrow with my homes Eunice... wooo ! This is our 3rd TS show together? AWESOME. She had a good time in LA too...and she saw Paris Hilton...she said she looked fat. :P
BSG with Gloria on Friday...and other assorted stuff. Have to get cracking on freelance stuff tonight...early due date...crapola.
Working out...diet...tired. UGH. But things are good, relatively...right?
Memorial Day Weekend
Monday, May 29, 2006 09:15 p.m.
Well, had a pretty relaxing weekend. Didn't really do all that much...and yet...seems like a lot happened.
Saturday: Did some clean up, worked on the AI article, went with Justin to see X3...it was ok. I didn't think it was great by any means and it seemed like there were waaaay too many characters...and the fact that some big characters died...urrgh. But had a good time with Justin...and he even managed to get 2 more things from the crane machine! He's a master of those things.
Sunday: Did laundry, lounged around watching tv, didn't really do much. Went home to eat with the family. All the kids (except Lu) were over and we had sashimi. Pretty much it.
Monday: My aunt calls at 9 in the morning and tells me the show is on 78! Crap...I rush over to my grandparents place and tape the rest. The entire interview section...missed it. I hope they show it again...or they will send me a tape of it or something. But what I did see...well, I think the songs sounded great...but my big fat head...well, that just sucks. I don't know if the "camera adds ten pounds" but my head looked gigantic...now how do I work out my head? ARRRGH. So self conscious now. I'm glad no one (besides my family) saw it...oh well.
Picked up Justin at his Memorial Day parade thing...and had dinner with the family. Finished up my AI article...hope it's in good shape...and that's pretty much my weekend.
Had a few "emo moments" thinking about last year...but I just let it pass. It's not worth thinking about now. And you know, I'm kind of used to being alone...so, just dealing with it.
Short week of work and some fun stuff coming up. Let's roll!
revving up for the weekend.
Saturday, May 27, 2006 01:01 p.m.
Not much to say about Thursday. Work...was supposed to meet up with Grace...but she wasn't feeling well. more BSG. Though supposedly, some co-workers saw a plane being escorted by two military craft circling our area... scary.
Friday...so we got out at 3 instead of 2. I still managed to get a bunch of work done. Crappy weather...thunderstorms and such all day. But afterwards I went to meet Laura and her friend Mary at DoJo's...wow...last time I went there was with Eunice in like 1996 or something...dang.
Anyways...Mary was pretty cool, studying to be a teacher at Hunter. She had to leave early so Laura and I went bowling...again. But this time we went to Leisure Time at the Port Authority. They had this MC that was giving out prizes...and Laura bowled a strike when he asked her too! So...we got a free hour of bowling to be used later...pretty cool.
AND...she also answered a trivia question (Oldest and youngest Oscar winner? Tatum O'Neal and Jessica Tandy)...and we got a free kamikaze shot. Now that's random.
We played some air hockey and video games and had a good time...then we wandered around and looked for a movie to watch and ended up seeing "The Notorious Bettie Page" ...Gretchen Mol did an amazing job...cute and sexy and spiritual at the same time. Hard to do. It was a good movie...not great though.
Then we hit Taco Bell and chowed down at like 11:00...thunderstorms and just feeling tired. Laura has waaaay too much going on right now...so I was glad I could be a friend to her. I drew an area of "personal space" and it was respected by both parties. :P
Home...tired...and then I finally did it. I got this:
http://www.musiciansfriend.com/product/Korg-ElectribeEMX1?sku=701946
My beats are on the way! PSYCHED! My momma's gonna help me out a little bit with it too... whew.
Seems like the weather is nice out...taking Justin to see X-men (sorry Eunice...oh and Tia called last night and asked me to be third wheel! hahaha!) tonight...and maybe hang out with Doris later.
Freelance stuff tomorrow and the last few eps. of BSG...that's all I gots really. It's still better than last year. Moving slowly...but hey, still moving.
Numbers?
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 11:31 p.m.
Ok...so it's not only LOST that has this weird numerology thing. I'll try to keep this short...
So, there was a shooting at a club in NY...and people were hurt and one was even killed. Turns out this was the last place where I saw...HER. Her roommate is co-owner of the place in Chelsea...ok...here's where it gets weird.
When we were together she said she had a dream which featured the number "23" prominently...and a few weeks later...she ended things...on the 23rd.
The day of the shooting...the 23rd (or it might have been the 24th...but still it was "yesterday" to me...which WAS the 23rd.
So, does that mean she is a "bad luck" charm? That she is devilspawn? I don't know...but it seems like nothing good comes by knowing her. And how do I feel about all of this? Suprisingly numb.
In some other world where we are still together...might I have been at the club? Might I be the one that was hurt? Or even killed? Maybe it's part of God's plan that I wasn't there...and it is all the way it should be. Thank God for hindsight. And whether or not she is ok...well, that's out of my hands, isn't it?
But that number...it's not just me and LOST...check this out: http://www.disinfo.com/archive/pages/dossier/id327/pg1/
Makes you think, huh?
Anyways, work was ok today...I did have a minor freak out moment...but I think things will work out in the end if I keep on track. Got some good comics and listened to some metal to keep my mind off things.
After work...met up with Gloria for some drinks and TV talk...rushed home to watch LOST...and thank goodness I did because the DVR stalled!
Anyways...wow...lots of answers! But next season...oh, man...I can imagine where this is all going. And did they make it? What's with the four toes? What if the Others REALLY ARE the good guys? Questions, questions...and yes, I'll be waiting with baited breath.
Oh...and my internet connection at home is AWESOME since I ran the LAN cable thingee and gave up on the wireless card...ugh...what a waste! Don't use a wireless card, kids!
Tired... some BSG and I am off to dreamland. So say we all! Amen.
HOLY FRAK!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006 09:59 p.m.
Yes, I am so addicted to Battlestar Galactica...so much so that I am going to the Museum of Television and Radio to catch the seminar...where the cast will answer Q & A!
Check out the info here: http://www.mtr.org/events/ny-seminars.htm
Seriously, how cool is that? Gloria and Joe are coming with...and I told this one co-worker about it and he got tickets too!
Serously, don't knock BSG until you've seen it. It is NOT a geeky sci-fi show. It's like the West Wing...in space. It deals with religion, terrorism, fascism, politics, sex, science, etc... and ahem...it won a frakkin' Peabody award. So, yeah. Shut it. It's awesome.
Ok, ok...a geeky moment...the visual effects team worked on Firefly...so they squeezed in a little easter egg of Serenity landing in the background in one of the episodes. *end of geekgasm* (ok fine...the creator worked on Roswell...and there are some Whedon ties...)
There's millions of us! MILLIONS!
Work was work today...blaaargh...but then after work I went around trying to trade my guitar for some credit. I went to Guitar Center by Union Square and also to the one in LIC...both a no go. Didn't even make an insulting offer! Just wouldn't take it for anything! Though one of the employees said that he had a friend that might be interested...hmmm.
Anyways...that's pretty much it. A relatively good day. Just tired from lugging my guitar around...oh...but I did make a best Buy pitstop and got super cheap CDRs...50 for 8 bucks!
It was a good day...and yes, I'm a dork.
Chinese Star!
Monday, May 22, 2006 07:32 p.m.
Yup...the taping at SINO TV went really, really well. I can't believe I got through it ok and I didn't look like a complete idiot. The Q & A session went off without a hitch and my Mandarin wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. The two hosts (Mr. Mong and a Ms. Gao Hong) did a great job by "leading" me through the questions and filling in the blanks when my vocab wasn't up to the harder questions. They asked about my family (plugged my uncle's paper too), the reason behind the music, the poetry stuff (my mom told me to bring the textbook with my poem...and I got that onscreen), they asked me about ABCs and Asian kids in the arts in the States...and they were really impressed that my Mandarin was so good (which is really sad...but I guess other kids have it worse...ack!) In any case, I think it went well and it should be airing next week.
Speaking of which...some guy named Kevin wants me on his show too! He wanted me to go on tomorrow! But I have to let work know about this and what not. Wow...more Chinese stuff!
Anyways, the magic of tv...they recorded the Q & A first and I played my songs after (they'll be edited in later). I played "flame and wax" almost perfectly..."reverie" was ok until the end when I got a little too excited...and then "under lock and key" was ok until the very end when I messed up a lyric...but I replaced it and it was fine. The person doing the cues and the camera men really liked my stuff...Carol, was her name. Anyways, I gave out a bunch of CDs and they'll be in touch about the broadcast soon...so, whenever Kevin contacts me...then I'll do ANOTHER Chinese show...hmmm.
And I get home...really tired since I didn't sleep well (and was up until 3 watching BSG!) and I get my state tax refund back! WOOOO! I am so going to cash it in and get my KORG box tomorrow! AWESOME!
So...it's been an awesome day so far. Mom is even picking some Costco stuff up for me...so it's even better. And more BSG...and a short week at work... things are looking up...let's hope they stay that way. Amen and amen... "so say we all!"
Fraking good.
busy busy
Sunday, May 21, 2006 04:45 p.m.
A little behind on the blog...it's been a busy week. Just flew by and this week looks like it will be the same.
Thursday: Some drama at work...bleh. And had drinks with John and Josh after work.
Friday: After work went to meet up with Eunice...went to Clearview Cinemas and met with Dave and Tia to see "Inside Man"...which I thought was a great movie. Spike Lee really out did himself with the movie. Some classic Lee stuff and all the heist business, Jodi Foster being kinda hot and bitchy (great legs! sheesh! who knew)...good stuff. Some crazy fireworks going on ...why? who knows...but it freaked me out because I couldn't see anything...just heard BOOM BOOM BOOM! Weird. Good to see Eunice again after a while...man, that girl is full of surprises some times.
Saturday: Cleaning up, finally practiced, changed strings on the guitar...and then went to see Coheed/A7X! Mom went to the city with us and we had some Chipotle before. Mom went walking around when I took Justin inside Hammerstein. Avenged had a good show...old skool metalpunk with skulls and twin guitar solos...And Coheed sounded awesome. They were filming for a DVD or something...but me and Justin managed to move up pretty close into the pit...and I am so proud of him. The pit got pretty crazy and I got kicked in the head a few times. Lost my glasses at one point...and I had no idea how I managed to find them on the floor and that they weren't crushed! It really was a miracle.
Anyways...the pit got nuts and circles started...lots of pushing, lots of slam dancing...and Justin was right there pushing them back. I was so proud of him! Unlike when I took Chris to see Jimmy Eat World...there's this pic I took of him where he looks terrified in the middle of all these sweaty...girls. Anyways...it was a good time. Glad I took Justin to see his first show with a pit...hope he remembers it.
Afterwards we even went to Georgia diner for food...long night and I was exhausted. But managed to watch some more Battlestar Galactica.
Yes, new show...new obsession. I heard so much about the show and how it was so awesome...especially with the political and 9/11 bent to it...and even Gloria was telling me she was watching it...so yeah, had to check it out. So, got a good deal on the dvds and I am watching it every chance I get....but I have to say...when I was a kid the old Cylons scared the crap outta me...the new ones...not nearly as scary...well, Edward James Olmos and his pockmarked face are always scary. :P
Awesome show...gives me something to watch after May sweeps. Anyways, Sopranos, Desperate Housewives finale...and then some sleep...taping the show tomorrow...so hope that goes well. Short week ahead...lots of work to do...and no idea what I am doing for the long weekend yet.
I think I may need a nap. Ow...my aching back.
Sushi and dessert
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 09:37 a.m.
Work...bleh. Some tension in the ranks...I hope I'm not being sexist when I say that sometimes working with women is like being in a relationship. Sometimes it can be really passive-aggressive. I haven't had any problems yet...but I don't want to take sides...it's me and 4 ladies right now. Yipes. Peace, gals!
Right after work went to meet Nicole at Tomoe Sushi...lucky we got there early because the line got crazy after a while. Caught up and just had fun...I can't believe I've known her for years now...wow. Went down Bleeker and got some dessert and talked about why I don't have a girlfriend...:P
We always have a good time...and the more we see each other...the more I learn. She has a great heart and always looks out for me. We ended up at Discorama and to make a long story short...I got a great deal on some dvds...woooo. Nothing beats a bargain!
Anyways...loving SCRUBS...Elizabeth Banks is really cute! She's like Rachel McAdams mixed with Parker Posey...I just can't remember where I've seen her before.
"I went potty in my pants and put on the TV." AWESOME.
I keep forgetting to write about it...but I love this: Justin got me 2 at the bowling alley...it's Pooh...but not only that...he's like sleeping, or sticking out his tongue, or has like a doofy smile...and he's dressed up like different animals! How cute is that???
See for yourself! I want them all!!!
http://www.gachausa.com/products/wtp.asp
And more awesomeness: the Evolution of Dancing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg
Trying to fill my time with completely inane and fun things. Makes it easier.
Sushi and dessert
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 09:37 a.m.
Work...bleh. Some tension in the ranks...I hope I'm not being sexist when I say that sometimes working with women is like being in a relationship. Sometimes it can be really passive-aggressive. I haven't had any problems yet...but I don't want to take sides...it's me and 4 ladies right now. Yipes. Peace, gals!
Right after work went to meet Nicole at Tomoe Sushi...lucky we got there early because the line got crazy after a while. Caught up and just had fun...I can't believe I've known her for years now...wow. Went down Bleeker and got some dessert and talked about why I don't have a girlfriend...:P
We always have a good time...and the more we see each other...the more I learn. She has a great heart and always looks out for me. We ended up at Discorama and to make a long story short...I got a great deal on some dvds...woooo. Nothing beats a bargain!
Anyways...loving SCRUBS...Elizabeth Banks is really cute! She's like Rachel McAdams mixed with Parker Posey...I just can't remember where I've seen her before.
"I went potty in my pants and put on the TV." AWESOME.
I keep forgetting to write about it...but I love this: Justin got me 2 at the bowling alley...it's Pooh...but not only that...he's like sleeping, or sticking out his tongue, or has like a doofy smile...and he's dressed up like different animals! How cute is that???
See for yourself! I want them all!!!
http://www.gachausa.com/products/wtp.asp
And more awesomeness: the Evolution of Dancing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg
Trying to fill my time with completely inane and fun things. Makes it easier.
YORKIE HEAVEN!!!
Monday, May 15, 2006 10:17 p.m.
Work was work... should be good going forward and getting another project done. I can't complain.
Went to Old Navy and bought a bunch of stuff with my 20 percent off and the additional sales...I have all my vacation clothes pretty much.
After work went to Jen's place and played with Yoshi and Yuka! I love, love, love YORKIES! And Yuka was so tiny and smelled like shampoo! SO CUTE! Played with them and just had so much fun... then went to Chelsea Grill and pigged out with Jen. Had a good time reminiscing and just catching up a little.
Played with the dogs a little and said hi to Mike...Jen and her hot apartment (which mught be haunted...it was a hospital before)...and her new passion...for making knitting needle bags. They are off to San Diego for a year...and wow...should be an adventure.
Nostalgia...it hits and you wonder who you used to be... and who you are now. I don't want to think back and be sad...I want to keep plowing ahead...I just need someone to hold me up. Lord, help me... sometimes I feel so weak and not like myself.
On a lighter note...my AUTOGRAPHED copy of Twilight Singers new album came in the mail! I have number 9 of 500!!!! DULLI! He's one of my all time heroes...and man, this album kicks so much arse. Man, "I'm Ready"...just blew me away...all the songs are just amazing...great reviews... and man, June 1st...cannot wait for the show! DULLI!
Tired...in a weird mood...but keeping on. Tomorrow is another day.
Weekend!
Sunday, May 14, 2006 11:20 p.m.
Wow...more craziness. Friday was just a low key day at work... nothing special. Still feeling a bit rundown and sick but I promised that I would hang out with Laura. So we met up and walked from Union Square all the way down to Life Cafe for food and drinks...then all the way back bowling. We had a great time bowling and I ran into someone I knew from elementary school...Jason Pike! He was on the phone with Ben Poe (who is like the CFO of Ultra records now?!? crazy.)
Anyways...after bowling we sat in the park for a bit and Laura tells me that she doesn't want to go home to Wburg...so she ends up coming home with me.
We go home and watch "Me, You, and Everyone We Know"...(back and forth...hahahh!) and then well... we had a fight..went to sleep...had a fight...cuddled a bit...and well, nothing really happened...and yet it kind of did? It just leaves me confused...but kind of clear headed about it.
I'm never going to be in love with her...and she never will be in love with me. Even if we are both single...even if we are affectionate with each other (I mean, come on...seriously) and even if we do have history...the moment has passed...and we are better as friends anyways.
So we went to a local diner and I took the train with her a little bit...it feels good to be physically close...but at the same time...it's kind of meaningless. Holding hands, cuddling, all that stuff...it just kind of is. "Aggressive friendliness"...in our case. So, yeah...it crosses the line...but then again...it doesn't.
Ok...I've just been tired ALL WEEKEND. I took a nap and then the family stopped by and we all went to my folks' place. EVERYONE was over and we ate sashimi, taiwanese food, and all this stuff for an early Mother's Day. It was great.
Eric and Charlotte and a bunch of other folks went to a wedding...and I was just run down...but they all stopped by for some Halo. Nina is addicted to Arrested...and we saw the Sawyers for the first time after they were married. And Shelb, oh...Shelb....Nasty.
I'm still feeling kind of sick...still run down and tired. Had some food with Ma this morning...watched a little tv...and took another nap. Then, got up and Eric and Charlotte were back from the city and we ate Popeye's and noodles...and it was just too much food.
Anyways...this is the short version. I'm just tired and pooped and feeling a little weird. A lot going on...and yet...not quite what I'm looking for.
It's going to be a hard month or so...but I'm planning on keeping insanely busy and trying to make the best of it.
Everyday...everyday I have the potential for change and for happiness. I thank God that I'm still on this planet...and I'm grateful. I want to be ready for something... just waiting.
SICK.
Thursday, May 11, 2006 03:01 p.m.
Ugh...not much to talk about...left work at noonish yesterday and took today off. Just feeling headachey, feverish, and just run down. I want to take naps...like all day.
Good stuff... 52 is friggin' awesome...weekly comic! WOOO!
SCRUBS season 3 is the BEST. New hot Elliot, Tara Reid, Michael J. Fox...Janitor as an actor...the Todd just being himself...and Bugle witch nails! AWESOME...I laugh out loud and cough...*hack.
Ugh...headache...want to lie down. Broke, sick, tired...hooray.
Busy!
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 10:12 p.m.
Just crazy busy at work. I have to keep reminding people that I've only been here two weeks! Too much! I need a breather! It's going to be this way until Friday. I'm so tired and broke. It's just not funny.
Also someone at work sent a very "curt" email to me today. It did not make me happy. My boss saw it and I think she took care of it. Bueno.
Stuff is going on...and I'm just too tired to write about it. Work, freelance stuff, money headaches, music stuff, it's all coming to a head. I just really, really need a break. It doesn't help that my allergies are just crazy and making me moody because I'm not sleeping well and I'm pissed off and cranky and and and...
At least Eunice is back home now...now if I can only get in touch with her.
So tired....off to bed early.
Wild weekend! Drama and wedding!
Sunday, May 7, 2006 06:20 p.m.
Just gonna skip ahead to Friday evening. I went to see MI:III by myself. I haven't seen a movie in the theaters by myself in over 10 years...it was weird...but the movie was great! JJ Abrams! WOOOO...and all the women in the movie were HOT. Keri Russell, Michele Monaghan, and Maggie Q...dang! Great action and plot twists...heard it was very ALIAS-y...the first 5 mins were kinda LOST-y too.
Ran into someone before the movie and on the way out of the theater...Ran into Vicky! She looks exactly the same. We'll get drinks eventually. And she may find a different job soon...so, that's good. And um...one of those blind dates...anyways...I kinda ran in the other direction...and later on in the night...the person that set me up...confirmed it was that girl there! So weird.
Anyways, after the movie I went to Plan B to meet up for Doris' bday party!...LOTS of people...and it's weird how I'm becoming friends with Doris' friends. I had a good talk with Victor about music...talked to Aileen and her bfriend, Jen and Ken are cool as always, Mandy (my new anime buddy) and Alex...and everyone else. Doris was actually really sober...I had to leave at around 1ish...but anyways... here's where it gets a little weird.
I met Christina (Chrissy) and apparently we went to Junior High together and she remembered us talking about where my dad works and all of that. She looked somewhat familiar and the name really rang a bell...but I just could not for the life of me remember...in any case...she was really cute and fun and we had a good time.
And then...Stef. Again...went to junior high with her...but we didn't know each other then...I've seen her a few time with Doris and her friends...anyways...I'm not at liberty to say what she is going through at the moment...but let's just say that it is bad...as in BAD.
Anyways, I thought she was dealing well and we had drinks and whatever...then after a while I was on line for the bathroom with Victor...then Stef comes out with tears in her eyes and she's bawling to me. We end up going outside and talked for like half an hour. I can really understand what she is going through...and now from the outside I can see how hard it is. And how I managed...I have no idea. But what is happening to her is WORSE. So I just offered a shoulder, an ear, and just listened. I hope she pulls through this.
Anyways, when I get back in Chrissy and Doris are in a tizzy looking for Stef...but she was fine and I had to leave.
So, I get home after 2 and get some wedding stuff ready and just pass out. I'm up at 1030 and get ready to go...I hit Jim Hanley's for some free comics on the way and get to the church on time!
Cindy looked GORGEOUS...though I could tell she was supernervous at the ceremony. The homily was actually really good. The priest talked about the Screwtape Letters and connected it to marriage...neat. The church was beautiful and even if it was a bit long...it was a great ceremony.
So...it's about 230 and the reception doesn't start until 430! Crap...I talk to Jen and Ken, Dianne and Chris and they go for drinks with some other folk and I excuse myself since I am brokeass broke...and just kill some time.
So 430 comes around and we have h'ourdeoveres (crap I can't spell) and they were great! Lamb lollipops were the best. So I talk to Doris/Cindy's friends about Doris' bday party, Aruba, Jen and Ken's wedding, etc...and we are just laughing it up and getting wasted.
Time for dinner and we all get split up to different tables! I end up sitting with a bunch of strangers...but by the end of the night we are all friends. May, one of Cindy's friends that I've met several times did not recognize me at all! She said I looked really different...I hope it's for the better. Anyways...I sit with a bunch of Brits and some folks from San Fran. Laura (who looks like Rachel Weisz) and her bfriend Richard, Justin and DebOrah (who looks like Jennifer Jason Leigh/Ally Sheedy. I end up talking to Justin (whose middle name is ABRAHAM!!!) a lot and with Laura. Both are very, very cool and we had a great time.
Cindy and Elliot's slideshow was pretty cute. Cindy and Jen were such cute kids! And the whole fact that C and E went to like preschool together was just really sweet. Though I think people kept mentioning it so much that it got a little played...hahahah.
Anyways, great steak and lots of alcohol and then we head upstairs for dancing, desert, cake cutting, bouquet/garter throwing. More drinks with my new friends and had a good talk with Jen/Ken, Diane/Chris... Aruba should be great then...
Cindy looked so much freer and happier at the ballroom. I guess it was nerves before...but it was just a thrill to see her so beautiful and full of life. I'm so happy for her.
Didn't get to see Jen much...she was busy running around But it was good to see her after suchj a long time. And I'm not sure if Elliot has a hot sister or cousin...but Ken and Chris kept trying to get me to "save her" from her family...she was pretty cute though.
Anyways, after the ceremony...we head over to the after party at Toto in K-town and we just tear it up. I get completely wasted by this point and have like another 4 beers on top of like the 5 superstrong cocktails, countless glasses of wine, champagne...and we just tear it up. I remember singing Fall Out Boy, radiohead, u2, and nsync... had a lot of fun with the brits and the SFers and some of Cindy's other friends... of course Cindy K (who sang "crazy for you" for pete...which was drunkadorable)Cathy, Will, Sarah, Joyce, etc...
Oh and the second song was "Africa" by Toto...in Toto...which was so dorky. Said goodbye to Justin and Deborah and Laura gave me a quick peck...heh. But had a great time and managed to get home by 230. blaaaarrrrggh.
Skipping a lot because honestly...don't really remember...got up early and went back to sleep and was officially up at like 230. But I am so ready to go back to bed. Work is gonna be rough this week and I've got my freelance stuff to do...and have to prep for TV appearance.
Great fun weekend. Makes me appreciate the good times so much more. I'm stronger than I thought I'd be... sometimes it's better to be single. Hey...learning curve.
Oh...so tired...but it was worth it. Congrats to Doris, I love you, you old fart. And to C & E....hope to see you guys soon...and bring more hot brit girls with you.
yeahyeah...oh yeah
Thursday, May 4, 2006 01:39 p.m.
Wow...work has just been nuts lately. I am so tired...but the day flies by because I am so busy all day.
Anyways, Sino TV called and they want me on their show! Thing is...I have to be interviewed in Mandarin! It's going to be about 15 mins. of Q & A and then I get to play 2 whole songs! WOW! Well, I have to get time off from work...but it's going to be taped the week of the 22nd. So...yeah...more on this later.
After work...went to get burgers and beer with Josh before the show. Good stuff...then went to Roseland...the Black Lips were awful, Dirtbombs weren't bad...had a hot chick bassist!
And yeah3 came on around 915 and wow...Karen O has such stage presence...she steals from the best! She had a sequined glove, grimaced like Marilyn Manson, danced like Scott Weiland, whipped the mic cord like Moz, and had a little cape thing like James Brown...
Anyways, Nick Zinner is a guitar god...his sound is massive! They played most of the new album and it sounded amazing...but the best song was "Y-Control" of course...and "Date with the Night" was pretty kickass...and the acoustic version of "Maps"...pretty awesome.
We also saw these 3 little Korean guys...which I bet were Karen O's uncles or something...but she definitely gave a shout out to her folks that were there that night.
Anyways...great show...tired...but I went home to watch LOST...and wow. Spoilers do spoil...but I was still shocked.
Next few weeks will be awesome. I love May sweeps.
Back to work...arrrgh.
This pain is just illusion...
Tuesday, May 2, 2006 10:13 p.m.
Archived... so starts May...let's try to stay sane for the next two months. Try to move on.
Happy Birthday, Sis! It's Charlotte's bday.
Got the new Tool album...not as good as "lateralus" on first listen...but some really, awesome tracks. I just wish they would stop with the artsy fartsy noodling and just get to the hard rocking stuff.
Anyways...work is still nuts...but I'm trying to deal with it and not panic. May 12th...just have to last until then. Have to get this stuff done. Arrrgh.
Josh is gonna go with me to yeahyeahyeahs...should be a good time...but I've just been so exhausted this week.
Dropped my dad off at the airport. He went to DC for a conference...and my mom is gonna go Thursday just to site see and stuff.
Took my mom out to Vietnamese for dinner and it got me thinking about our family. My dad's side of the family has a lot of hypochondriacs...always a physical problem...not a spiritual ailment for them. My mom's side of the family...this is where I get most of my problems from. The depression and the OCD. My grandmother is clinically depressed and so is my aunt and uncle. As in...chemical imbalance etc... My uncle has a bit of social anxiety too.
Anyways...I think I may be clinically depressed or have some sort of chemical imbalance...or not. I don't know. I go through these bouts of just feeling so oddly sad and feeling like I can't do a thing about it...to being fine the next minute. I don't know what it is or what triggers it sometimes...and then on the other hand it's obvious. I'm not sure...all I know is that when I am not in a good place...it's hard for me to get out.
Yes, the little things can brighten my day for a moment...but the overarching problem is that I am just not happy. And I miss that feeling so much...just feeling that all is right with the world, that there is hope. And in my HEAD I believe it...I know that God exists and that there is a reason for all of this...but in my heart...it's just so cold sometimes.
Well, today...despite my allergies...on the train...2 women had her perfume. And driving through Elmhurst had me thinking of the past...and how just about a year ago...things looped on itself and I was happy for a little while...only to have to be destroyed at some sort of rock bottom...and then it got worse...much worse, before it got better.
Yes, sometimes I miss her more than I can bear. And sometimes I just seethe with hate, anger, and just want vengence or justice...or both. I try to tell myself not to waste another moment thinking about her or the past...and then I just have to let it go...just let the feeling come and ebb away.
I don't want to be all "emo" and say that having a succesful relationship would cure all my problems...because there is so much damage that needs to be worked out. After last year...I've just been so unsure of myself that I have to push myself to step forward and take charge...but then I think I'm overcompensating and I end up sounding like an @$$hole. It's a balancing act that I have to manage.
And goodness...the mood swings. Sometimes I am so anti-social that I don't want to see anyone...then I get so lonely that I'm desperate for some human contact. What's wrong with me? Am I just tired? Bored? Depressed? What?
So...for a former psych major...I'm trying to be analytical about my own situation...which helps sometime. And I try to be prayerful...but in the end...I think it's a crisis of faith, of life, of breath.
Sometimes I'd rather not be here. Sometimes I just want it all to go away.
And then something makes me remember why I am still around. I have lots of stuff to do...and I want to do it. I just need the patience and perseverence to get through it.
God, give me strength.
