I am Queens Boulevard!
Monday, May 1, 2006 09:05 p.m.

Anyways...enough about Entourage. It's a great show...nuff said.

Been really, really tired and stressed at work lately. I'm doing really well with the Science team...but there is just SO MUCH work to do... it's going to be really tough the next few weeks. I hope there is a breather...but it looks like May is going to be stress-filled if it keeps going like this. Just non-stop from 9 to 5...

Felt like I needed a break...so I took a walk and went to Hollywood Video and picked up "Memoirs of a Geisha"...heard it wasn't so great...but Zhang Ziyi AND Gong Li are in it...(oh...like 2046...which I still haven't seen yet.) so I'm going to crash early and watch ..some of it.

Having a hard time finding someone to go to Yeah Yeah Yeahs with...running out of time...anyone want to go? I'm too tired to look for people...so let me know.

Some interesting news from Laura last night...hmmm. Will have to see if this turns out into something big...or not. She was like "I love you...man." hahahah way to keep your distance...man.

And my Eunice is off to see Spain...I could use a vacation soon...well, July is coming. I got to get in shape! Ran yesterday and I was going to try again today...but I am all sorts of achey...I lifted yesterday too...so I just did my walk thing.

I'm too busy to be unhappy...but man, something has to change soon. I want...something. I don't know what...but it's not this.

Happy May... coming weeks are gonna be kinda bitter...but hey, I'm moving on...so I welcome the hectic schedule...it will keep my mind off the past.

Lord, give me something good...something I don't screw up for once.

working weekend
Sunday, April 30, 2006 05:01 p.m.

First off...happy birthday to Eric...my little bro is a big 29 now...wow...and I still remember when you were a baby orangutan. Love you.

Wow...what a crazy week. Simply exhausted at work...but a lot of good stuff was done. I'm starting to like the new people I'm working with...I definitely have more publishing experience and if we can get some things under way...then I think they will all work out for the best.

After work...went to Target to pick up some snacks and as I was coming home...I stepped on the train and my heart skipped a beat. This girl...she looked like...you know who...but maybe 5 years ago. We made eye contact and I must have had such a shocked/scowly face...but she started giggling with her friend and looked back at me...oh, well. It wasn't pleasant for me.

Home...working on freelance article and watching nip/tuck. Passed out at 9 and was up at 10... weird. I think the allergies are making me nuts.

Anyways...Saturday I got up and out..got a haircut and a call from Maya. She was having a party at her place...but I couldn't make it out all the way there. Sucks... I worked on the article some more, helped the grandparents, cleaned up...and knocked out.

Sunday: Got up and finished up my article...it's pretty good considering I didn't have too much time. I even ran for 25 minutes today! WOOO! It actually wasn't bad considering how rusty I am...I've gotta get on the ball and run more. Finished up nip/tuck season 2 and it was GREAT! What a crazy soap opera! But it's basically a love story about two hetero men... Sean and Julian...I love them together.

Anyways...it was a weird weekend. I'm tired and just feeling kind of weird. That loneliness factor...drifting in and out and really making me feel like crap...and then I'm ok again. So...maybe it's the spring? Maybe it's allergies?

Keeping busy...and it's going to be a busy week. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Doris' bday, Cindy's wedding...I'm beat and broke...but it's fun.

Speaking of fun. Check out our boy in his school variety program clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhxMw1nWpKQ

Love you, bro. And proud of you too! *peeshy high five!

Worn out!
Thursday, April 27, 2006 11:48 p.m.

Wow...it was pretty dang non-stop today with the Science. Meetings, editing, logistics...and more of that tomorrow. I am completely pooped. But my new co-workers are pretty cool. One is an art student, one used to work in film, and my manager is a poet! Should be fun...

Work was super hectic and after I went to meet up with Eunice...but first, shopping. Got some junkie summer clothes from Old Navy and the LAST grey blazer from Gap...it was 30 bucks! Down from 80...I'm a good shopper.

Met up with Eunice and we walked over to Ellen's place. She is tiny...but big....since she's preggers! WOW...babies having babies! I can't believe we are 30...what happened???

Anyways, met Ellen's husband Sam for the first time...then went shopping with the girls. Eunice looked at clothes and shoes...Ellen looked at baby stuff. man, 350 bucks for a Coach diaper bag? COME ON!

And...the best part...saw Eunice's baby pics...and man... SHE WAS FAT! SUPER FAT!!!! And now look at her...all skinny and gorgeous. I guess the whole theory of "cute baby, ugly adult" and vice versa is true...case in point...um...me? Super cute baby! ...And now look at me... *sob.

Not gonna see Eunice for a while since she's off to Barcelona with her moms...not sure when I'm going to see Doris, Gloria, Grace...etc...gonna be pretty busy next week.

I am so beat. More nip/tuck and then unconsciousness. Weekend is going to be hair cut, working out, laundry, and oh man...freelance assignment. Arrgh! I better get started tomorrow night since it's due Monday.

Ok...Tomiko Van's solo album is pretty dang good. Kinda mellow so far...but hey...it's better than Do As Infinity being gone forever...and we all know it's all about the Tomiko! sheeexxxxy

Dang...what a crazy week. TGIF...seriously! Let me say that again...TGIF, kids.

things are looking better...
Wednesday, April 26, 2006 03:34 p.m.

Wow...I'm tired. Went home for dinner last night and watched "The Squid and the Whale" last night...wow, really thought provoking. You kinda hate all the characters...but it was pretty funny for an indie drama-dy.

Anyways, started working for Science today and it's like the stuff I did at Triumph...but easier. Hopefully, it will stay that way. I think I will really be able to contribute and help out. Especially, since I had a good relationship with the vendor...I wonder if they remember me?

One of my supervisors from Social Studies pulled me aside and told me she spoke with the higher ups and said that "they made a big mistake." So, I'm absolutely sure it wasn't personal...I don't feel so crappy now...and in the end I think it was a better move.

My first status meeting is in 20 minutes and hopefully, I'll feel comfortable with all the people I'll be working with. Anyways, things have been going well.

I think Eunice is trying to teach me a lesson. She's making loads of travel plans...makes me miss her. booooo.

And thanks to Rocketboom...I found this great site with awesome videoclips: http://videosift.com/topstories.php

Did I say how much I love Rocketboom? And Amanda Congdon? Anyways...not gonna go say hi at the Pioneer tonight...but she'll be there. *sniff

Oh...and I got another AI assignment. Trigun/GunXSword battle...woooo!

Things are looking up for now. Change ain't half bad. Hope it stays this way.

Addding another to the list...
Tuesday, April 25, 2006 04:02 p.m.

...of girls I like!

Um...Amanda Congdon...will you marry me?

Seriously, her mix of sarcasm, nerdiness, and utter hotness is undeniable. I'm late to the Rocketboom...but better than never.

Check out the daily VLOG at: www.rocketboom.com

One thing to note: remember how I played a few shows at Manhattan Theatre Source? Well, Amanda was in a play there before... hmmmm.

While we are on the subject... Kari Byron is officially the most gorgeous woman on tv. And Kristen Bell.

I'm a dork... but hey... I needed a bit of doofiness in the midst of all this stress and transition.

I am officially a science nerd.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006 01:09 p.m.

Well, after all that was said and done....it looks like things worked out for the best.

Went in to speak with the hiring manager and before I could say anything...bam. Here's what we have for you. I didn't even have to do a thing and Science was offering me several positions.

So...after meeting with the head of the department...who said: "You will be gainfully employed for a long time...we have a lot of shit to do." I was put at ease. Before long...I was on the Assessment team (and the TE team called...but I was snatched up already)...so I'll be doing work like I did at Triumph...hopefully, this time it won't be as bad...and it looks pretty promising. I did hear that they work with one of my old vendors...which is good since I had a good relationship with them...so, we'll see what happens this go around.

Anyways, I am thrilled. I'm still sitting in my same space with the guys...and I'll be working on something fun and new...and it is more stable. Science is in a lot better shape than other disciplines...and if anything...it's a better move for me. Science has more money, more stability, and it's more fun....and if I ever want to teach at a private school...wow...look at my resume and all the fields I've worked in! It will be great...so maybe I can teach one day...and that would be a dream.

Teaching, writing, doing music, writing freelance fun stuff...that would be perfect for me.

Anyways, went to Chipotle with Josh and John and we had a good time...my boss was upset because he had no say...and my other manager was furious because she said there were other people she would rather leave....so it's good to know that it wasn't personal, for sure.

Well, I see this as a major blessing...and hopefully, I'll enjoy the work and the new coworkers...it's a new adventure.

Yeah, didn't want any drama...but I'll take this over something crappy.

Thanks be to God. Amen.

laid off... kinda
Monday, April 24, 2006 08:51 p.m.

Remember how I was asking for some peace and quiet and no drama? Well, it's not going to happen.

At around 3:30 today...our office manager pulled me and two other people in to meet with our exec. I'm not laid off...but I don't work there anymore.

Basically, the department is being trimmed down. 3 people are without a job and 3 others are being "relocated"...but it's not 100 percent for certain. I'm going to be going to Science...at least that's the plan.

I'm going to meet with a hiring/development person tomorrow to talk about the position that they are considering me for. I do have a science background...coming from Stuy, being pre-med/psych for a while...and getting a 5 on my AP Bio...but it's been a long while. I have experience in test prep and stuff like that...so it's a strong selling point...but I won't know if I have a job or not until tomorrow morning.

I hope I do...and in the long run if I were ever to teach...this would look great on a resume. Educational publishing background in language arts, math, social studies, test prep, and science... that would be great.

But right now it's still a "what if"...I'm not sure I have that great a shot...but if they need someone soon...all my paperwork is in the system and I know how the publishing game works. So, we'll see how this pans out tomorrow. Needless to say I am kinda stressed.

And I was assured it wasn't my performance. I was doing a great job and my managers loved me. I was doing extra work and helping out other folks even...it really was a budgetary concern...and the fact is...I was new, I was making more than other editors at my level, and I had marketable skills for other disciplines...I'm a candidate to "relocate"...

I got some love from the guys in my pod. Hopefully, I'll still have a job in the building...we'll have to wait and see. Drinks soon though...regardless.

On top of all of the job stress...I was on the phone until 230 with Laura...we had a bit of a disagreement...things were ok at the end...but then again. I don't know with her. I'll just leave it at that.

And yes, I love you...but I cannot and will not step into a situation where there is a probablity of seeing HER. There are lots of places in NY where I can feel fine going...but there is a definite tie to that area...and a likelihood that I could run into her or her roommate in that particular part of town... And right now, where I am in my life...it would just destroy me to see her again...and it's not something I am able to do. I feel like a total loser and it would just eradicate whatever shred of ego I have to see her again right now...actually...EVER...so, I'm really sorry that I am so weak. I'll make it up to you. You know I love you like my own flesh and blood.

With the real possibility of being unemployed, being broke all the time (as in really broke...weddings are really going to wreck me this year), being alone, not feeling confident in myself, having all this change...I was barely feeling somewhat "normal" before...and to have this happen after only four months...I just feel like I'm teetering really precariously and I don't feel like I have a lifeline at the moment. I don't know who I am or what I want...and yes, the little things were helping me...but they are little things...and that can only go so far.

The big picture: I'm still crawling and trying to make sense of my purpose in life. Lord knows I feel lost. I just want to be ok...but being ok still feels like a balancing act when things can flip on a dime.

Family, friends, yes...but I still carry these scars and I'm not sure who to trust anymore. Nothing is ever certain and things are more uncertain when you throw this into the mix. So, please pray for me. I'm seriously scared and hurt right now.

I hope things work out for the best tomorrow. If they do..well, here comes another transition period for me that will really throw me off for a little while. If they don't...well, at least this time I can collect unemployment.

So, do I ever get a happy ending to my story? Is it going to be crapfest after crapfest? I was counting my blessings and I hope that I can add this to the pile.

9:00 sharp. I'll know then. Pray for me, kids. I need help.

Wedding weekend...
Sunday, April 23, 2006 06:00 p.m.

Wow...I'm tired. Had a long week that was in no way boring. Wow...just thinking back...was it only a week ago that all this stuff happened? Crazy.

Anyways, met up with Amy after work on Friday and we went to Earl's for some food. Talked about her move and everything. I know it is going to be really great for her to get out there and just have a clean slate. Just worried that she is going to be anti-social...but it will be temporary. It's been a hard year...it's going to take some time to get on with living and well, nothing does that better than some drastic change. Not sure when I am going to see her next...most likely Eric's wedding...but wow...we are going to be different people in August.

Time really has kicked me in the arse this year. So much change and I'm still reeling. Things move so fast sometimes. Anyways... just got a bunch of stuff ready for the wedding and some clean up.

Shelb picked me up and we went to the church for Sowon and Jeremy's big day. Pastor Brian performed the service and it was really nice. Lots of Boston folks and it was good to see them all again. Jack came in a little late...and then after the service...just seeing everyone Jamie, Lester, Seah, Jane, Irene, Michelle, Ricky, Jeana, Jeff, Rosie, Young, Eunice, Davin, Won Jang (who is big and preggers now), Anice, just a ton of people...

Some funny moments...this one girl, Jen Lee...I was like...um...do I know her and just forgot? Turns out I didn't know her at all...anyways, I ended up taking pics for her all night. Funny.

I think someone has a thing for Shelby. hahahah. Not going to say who...

Good to catch up with some folks...Sowon's sister is like gorgeous now. I didn't even say hi to her...but I always thought she was small and punky...but wow...she cleans up good!

Meeting Jeff's wife and Young's wife...cool. Young's wife is Eunice...and I was like...awww..I have a Eunice in my life too. Speaking of which...my Eunice is in Chicago right now. I miss her. :( She's going vacation crazy!

Met this one girl, a friend of Jeremy's...she's an animator and we got to talking about anime and stuff. She didn't have a business card since she was between jobs...but she told me to ask Jeremy for her info...she said I'd see her at the after party...but we ended up not going...anyways...I talked to J...and she has a boyfriend. booo! hahahah yeah...I'm a sucker...talk about anime and I get hooked.

Anyways, cutest moment of the night. I was talking to Jack and Shelb...and then we saw Eric dancing with Charlotte to some hip-hop track...and they were just frikkin' adorable together. Wow...I got a sis now. They both did a good job...Eric MC'ed and Charlotte took care of business...ushering and what not.

Afterwards, we went home to pick up Justin and went bowling. Shelb, Eric, Jack, and Jack's new girlfriend Angela... I was wiped out and kinda drunk...so I passed on bowling.

Passed out at around 330...and up at around 11 when my mom came over with food. I cooked eggs and ate and we talked about wedding stuff.

Eric left around 2 and I had to finish up song stuff, get passport business in order, and had to take a nap. Man, what a long weekend.

Should be a relatively quiet week. I'm going to try to fly under the radar...considering this past week has been so out there...but it's been good. Busy is better than bored...but rest is much needed.

Sorry if I've been kind of neglectful of my friends. I need to see Doris and Gloria soon...it's been too long...and Eunice...whenever she gets back.

Sopranos tonight and work tomorrow. woooo.

I go broke for weddings!
Friday, April 21, 2006 10:05 a.m.

Ok...so the whole weddingpalooza that is going to be this summer...it's not only the wedding gift that costs money...but clothes and travel and other incidentals...it really does add up. And especially when they pile up all at once. Anyways, I'm glad that people are finding their happiness and what not...

Went wedding gift/ birthday gift shopping after work...and got it all done. Got the Arctic Monkeys CD and it is pretty darn good. Not sure if it was worth all the hype...but I definitely like them more than Franz Ferdinand.

Oh...and Easter candy was 75% off. I couldn't resist.

Went home and watched tv, worked out, went to bed...pretty much it...but I had this weird dream where my mom was watching tv and she angled it where she was the only person who could watch and I was like "I bought it! It's my TV! I want to watch!" yeah, dumb dream.

Meeting up with Amy after work...and then home to sift through photos for Eric's slideshow...gotta wake up early to get TOOL tickets...if I can't get them..well, there's always the second leg of the tour.

Crazy week...lots happened...and I'm exhausted. Next week should be quiet...I hope. As always... TGIF, kids.

what a night...
Thursday, April 20, 2006 09:25 a.m.

Work was good...got in 2 Unit Reviews and I'm starting the second to last one today. Not much else going on...pretty quiet over here. Weather was gorgeous though.

Went down to Spring/Prince area to kill some time before I met up with Laura... walked a round a lot and just checked out stores...and then Halle Berry walked right past me...she was holding hands with some tall blonde guy...cool.

Met up with Laura and we ended up walking in the West Village and ended up by Caliente Cab...so we had some HUGE frozen margaritas and some sub-standard burritos. Anyways, after that we walked to the Hudson (I never been there)and just sat with coffee and watched the sun disappear. We talked A LOT...as we always do... and we shared some music.

She played this amazing song called "The Funeral" from Band of Horses...it was like The Shins/Sunny Day Real Estate...incredible. And we watched the stars come out and it was honestly just a great moment...yeah, we are still pretty affectionate...holding hands and...other stuff. :P

More walking and we ended up in Washington Square Park and talked some more...it was weird. I was talking about the stuff that happened last year and I just got all teary even though I didn't feel it in my chest...it was very odd.

And we've been candid before...but never like this. I think we know a little too much about each other. And the thing is...it's one of those people that "get you" on a level other people don't...so we'll always have this weird bond. I mean...I don't really consider her an "ex" even though we dated a short while...but there is still that attraction on both our parts. We definitely have, as they say, unfinished business.

And wow...for a moment there I felt like "the other man"...she has a boyfriend and whether or not that lasts, well, that's up to her. I know that if we were both single at this point...something might happen. That's all I'm going to say about that.

So, I ordered the Band of Horses CD and EP from Subpop directly. Actually cheaper then Best Buy....I got both for 20 bucks including shipping.

Ok...have to get some work done...meeting with Amy tomorrow? Wedding Saturday? I am poor and tired.

Busy week
Wednesday, April 19, 2006 09:22 a.m.

Not going to have much free time this week...and I'm tired and broke...nonetheless...still got a ton of stuff to do.

Last night was probably the only chance I'm going to get a breather...hanging out with Laura tonight...first time in a long time where we'll be alone...Thursday or sometime soon...hanging out with Amy before she moves to Sacramento...and whenever I am not out...have to get some photos ready for Eric's wedding slideshow. Then, have to finish and mix the song for the documentary...and then it's Sowon and Jeremy's wedding...and doing freelance stuff.

Pretty dang busy...but it's better than being bored. Next few months might be hectic and it's gonna hurt the wallet. Hope that tax return comes in soon.

New music, comics, concerts...exciting stuff...now if I can get a handle on the girl sitch...that might be too much.

Eh...happy Tuesday.

Busy week
Wednesday, April 19, 2006 09:22 a.m.

Not going to have much free time this week...and I'm tired and broke...nonetheless...still got a ton of stuff to do.

Last night was probably the only chance I'm going to get a breather...hanging out with Laura tonight...first time in a long time where we'll be alone...Thursday or sometime soon...hanging out with Amy before she moves to Sacramento...and whenever I am not out...have to get some photos ready for Eric's wedding slideshow. Then, have to finish and mix the song for the documentary...and then it's Sowon and Jeremy's wedding...and doing freelance stuff.

Pretty dang busy...but it's better than being bored. Next few months might be hectic and it's gonna hurt the wallet. Hope that tax return comes in soon.

New music, comics, concerts...exciting stuff...now if I can get a handle on the girl sitch...that might be too much.

Eh...happy Tuesday.

new Tool !
Tuesday, April 18, 2006 03:12 p.m.

"Vicarious"...leaked a little early.. AWESOMENESS! Check out the last two minutes of the song...just...arrrgh...can't even say how excited it gets me!

http://www.ezarchive.com/confidoboyd/AlbumSpace/3IIUTCH73K/_zid-875387/_open-/Tool_-_Vicarious_%28album_version%29.mp3

MUST..GET...TICKETS!!!

To quote Chuck Klostermann "PARABOLA...MUTHAF**A! PARABOLA!"

Let me explain (and geekout): To explain to the non-Tool heads..."Parabola" happens to be the most awesome song (in my opinion) on "Lateralus"--the last Tool record. So, Klostermann's little "quote" was his way of kind of summarizing what fans of Tool are probably like. And yeah...it's kinda true.

Alkaline Trio!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006 09:34 a.m.

Ok...I am so tired and feeling weird right now..but had a pretty good time last night.

Met up with Maya in Union Square and we went to Belmont Lounge for a couple of drinks and then Chat N' Chew for dinner. She's just a bundle of energy and adorable. We had a good time catching up...but I was just still tired from work and the weekend...maybe my old age is catching up with me.

Got to Avalon (the old Limelight) and surprisingly it wasn't packed with kids. We kicked back in the lounge when Against Me! played...it was too packed to get in. Apparently she feels really comfortable with me and told her dad about me on the phone when we were walking there...and she told me a little something else about her...which is really funny...but I can't say.

Anyways, the show was pretty good...but too much of their older catalogue for my taste. I didn't get into them until "Good Mourning"...so the last 3 albums didn't get enough play. They played a looooong set! The sets were kind of cool...like horror movie-ish! They had this backdrop with 3 big clocks all at 6:00...hahah yeah which was kinda goofy and not that creepyscarygoth (even though we were on the site of an old abandoned church--12 years ago or so...I went clubbing at the Limelight...once and only once and it was funny and kinda weird...ahhh, memories!)...and their little emo-heartskull logo...and this old style drawing of a man-bat kissing like a Victorian lady.

Highlights for me were: A few of my faves from Gdammnit!, Burn, This Could Be Love, and perennial closer... Radio.

I wish I had more energy...but I was just knackered. Maya had a good time and hopefully I'll get a chance to see her again before she goes on tour. Yeah, so my crush is kind of fading a little...yeah, it doesn't help that she has a bfriend and is going to be away for a while (I mean, if circumstances were any different...wow...I would be in so much trouble)...but that doesn't mean my friendcrush is any less intense. Hey, a lot of my friends started out as crushes (a few I even dated...speaking of which Laura wants to hang out tomorrow...)I definitely enjoy her company and I think she is just beautiful...all in all...simply, we had a great time.

I'm beat...tons of work I gotta get done too. Whoo boy. It's gonna be a hectic week.

TOOOL?
Monday, April 17, 2006 03:21 p.m.

Ok...I called and confirmed...yeah...Tool is playing here:

http://www.citycenter.org/

Um...how weird is that? And the person on the phone said that you could get tickets online...but they don't even have a webpage for online sales up yet.

I'm gonna try anyways! TOOOOOL!!!!!

Oh...and Guns N Roses are playing 2 shows at Hammerstein! Does that mean "Chinese Democracy" will be out this summer?

Wow...maybe we are nearing the end of days. *shudder. seriously.

Easter
Sunday, April 16, 2006 05:07 p.m.

Well, let's go back to yesterday...just a lot of cleaning up and stuff...got a lot done and went to Chi's house...walked all the way over and then played basketball with the kids and Unca Alan...then we played some handball...and I'm not too shabby! Though I feel a but creaky...it's been a long time.

Had bbq and was home early. Knocked out after SNL and was up for church early.

Went to Redeemer and Tim Keller is still as awesome as ever. He was talking about Auden and how Auden knew that Christ was real: "because he doesn't make any of my dreams come true"...and even better yet...Auden was more inclined to shout "Crucify him"...meaning that Auden was convinced that Jesus was the real deal because he wasn't a savior that he wanted....or one that he could create. Jesus made him confront his own sins and flaws and did not make him feel "better about himself"...a savior that humanity creates would be one that would be the complete opposite. Anyways, it was worth hearing about...and yeah, Tim Keller quoted George Herbert too... it was poetry-extravaganza on Easter (again).

It was beautiful weather and it was a relatively good service. Walked with Grace a bit and then I just went home to nap.

I was so tired...slept for like 3 hours and was prepping to record...but then my aunt and Niu are over watching tv...crap. I really need to get this song done for the doc.

Well, Alkaline Trio tomorrow with M...and super busy this week...it's good. But still broke and feeling kinda blah lately. But it's good to be alive. No doubt.

Happy Easter. Life is good...and it gets better.

packed.
Saturday, April 15, 2006 01:59 p.m.

Well...got out of work at 230 and went to Suncoast to get some more cheap dvds...but they weren't as cheap as the day before...crap. Anyways, got stuff for Chi and Justin then went uptown for church service. I was a bit early so I checked out the Best Buy there...crappy layout. I guess the one's in Queens and LI are my faves.

Anyways, went to church and had a lot of time to pray and reflect on all the stuff that's happened and is happening right now...I have to admit that I love the lull. It's good not having to feel the stress and heartache. I thanked God and asked for guidance...and yet...I think I am a total scumbag.

I tried to sit there and just enjoy the service...but the people there seemed so...I dunno...the one lady leading praise...she was doing a soundcheck and she was like "please stand" and I was like "huh?" She was practicing and she was flubbing lines from hymns and she was like "blaaaah" ...I dunno it just seemed like it was a performance. And Tim Keller wasn't there...so the pastoral staff took turns with these mini-sermons...which weren't very long...but none of them were engaging and I couldn't follow them. And the one big gripe...most of the scripture readers seem to be like professional actors...and they have all of these long, stretched out dramatic pauses that don't even seem to fit the scripture reading...

Ok...I feel terrible. But I guess I was just longing for something natural/supernatural out of the service...and what I got felt like it was shellaced in artifice. I know people's intentions tend to be good and for the best...but I can't help my experience.

The good things: singing hymns and listening to the people around me sing and feeling something...anything. Praying. Even if I didn't get the message I was looking for...I REMEMBER the purpose of it. And I thank those in my past that conveyed it before. If anything...it will be good to hear Tim Keller on Sunday.

It was weird going there and looking at so many other people who go there by themselves and that's it. Ran into Cathy S. after...caught up for 3 mins. on the train though...

Met up with Eunice in Union Square...she was oddly acting out of character...she was on time (well, for her)...and she drank wine! We went to Patsy's to eat pizza and then got some movie tickets...Went over to Petco to look for bunnies (they had none) and B& N for a little while.

Went to see "Friends With Money"...indie comedy with some big stars...but I didn't need to see it in a theater. Speaking of which...theater was packed with gay couples, girlfriends in packs, and a few scattered couples.

Anyways...got home around 1...watched some tv and passed out around 3.

It was a good Friday...maybe not as spiritual as I hoped...but I think I might be over needing the thunder and lightning. I need to find my miracles in the little things now...each breath, each relationship forged, each memory, every scar that gets healed...these are miraculous.

Head, heart, guts (balls, according to Phil), soul...that's huge. More, please.

Good Friday.
Friday, April 14, 2006 01:55 p.m.

Getting out of here at 230...going to get Chi a bday present if I can...and then off to church.

Yeah...got Harvest-ed last night. Ugh! Didn't eat super much...but still feeling full today.

Not going to say much...but just repeating the fact that I am thankful. To bring it in with something I read today...namely Green Arrow...yeah, bear with me.

Green Arrow goes to the Flash museum and after a brief encounter with Wally West...he gets Arsenal to "steal" Flash ring (Barry Allen's)...and he Arsenal asks him...why did you go through all this trouble to get Flash's old ring?

So, Ollie pops it open and instead of the Flash costume popping out...it's Green Arrow's... and inside is inscribed "Be Fast, Barry"...and Ollie says "My friend made it for me."

Anyways...how does this tie in with Good Friday...well,it's simple and complex...but what it boils down to is my life...I've had to really wrestle with getting a hold of just living this year...and it's like reclaiming something back that was originally mine..."stealing" something that my friend originally made for me.

Not sure if that makes sense...but yeah, I'm stealing back this life from all the people and events that damaged me...and it's something I want to cherish and remember that it's "what my friend made me."

Yeah, Big J...you still are my best friend. Help me try to live like I mean it.

TGIF, kids... remember.

good news...
Thursday, April 13, 2006 06:56 p.m.

Ok...Aruba is going to be no problem now...I just got news that my tax return will almost be 2 grand! WOW! I am so thankful that this worked out...almost perfectly. It's my little Easter miracle. AMEN!

And on top of that...one of my fave bands from the 90s reunited! The RENTALS are back and have a new album in the works...I never got a chance to see them play live...so hopefully this time around...wooo!

"Powder Burns"...the new Twilight Singers CD is getting some rave reviews already...so I can't wait for that...and yeah...new Tool album in a few weeks and new Thursday album the same day! WOOO!

Finished reading "Diary" ...Chuck Pahlaniuk's latest...and it took awhile for me to get into it...but man, I dug it towards the end. Always with the little twist, Chuck! Not as good as "Lullabuy"...which might be my fave. I need to get his other books and maybe give "Choke" another chance.

Work was pretty smooth today. Was actually very productive...and the Suncoast sale was ridiculous. It was 70% off...but it turned out to be more than that. All anime was $5.99...so I got a bunch of stuff. WOOO!

So, all in all..a pretty good day. Still waiting to hear if my folks want to have dinner...but the weather was wonderful today...so I'm pretty content now.

Getting out at 3 tomorrow...so I'll have plenty of time to get to church...lots to thank God for this year. Wow...2006 has not been bad so far. Let's hope this period of calm lasts for a bit...after the craptastic 2005...this has been a welcome stretch. I hope that adversity is going to be far, far away...I'm hoping that there really is a resurrection and a respite from the poison of last year.

I am ever grateful and thankful. Take nothing for granted...keep trying. TGIF...here I come.

wedding singer!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006 09:34 a.m.

Ok, first off I dreamt that S showed up at Cindy's wedding with a date...and then I threw a drink at her...and then I revised it...and I threw a glass of red wine at her...and I just calmly left the reception. Sorry, dream-Cindy! Hopefully, this won't happen...ever.

Anyways, after work I killed some time and went to the new Midtown Best Buy...it SUCKS. They have a poor selection and the staff there was clueless when I asked an ipod question and was ignored by other people...bad.

Met up with Grace at House of Brews and caught up...yup, it's official...shes' going to Wharton. CONGRATS! I seriously think she would be great on the Apprentice. I'm gonna keep bugging her about it until she goes on the show. Seriously...she could win. In any case, I've got another excuse to visit Philly now.

Anyways, caught up and things were cool...we went to a PACKED performance of "The Wedding Singer"...the only thing that sucked was that Amy Spanger wasn't there that night. She was in "Reefer Madness" (the one on Showtime that starred KRISTEN BELL!!!) and she was insanely hot and awesome in that...anyways, her understudy was pretty good...

And the lead...was Stephen Lynch! He's the musical comic I've seen on Comedy Central a bunch of times...wow...he was really good. The female lead seemed kind of old...but she was cute. And the guy that played the Alexis Arquette role (George) was great...

They changed a lot of things from the movie...but it was for the better. The "rapping Granny" became Robbie's grandma...and she does a rap with George...just hilarious. So, there wasn't any 80s music...but there were so many references and nods (the music was 80s-ish...and the lyrics and melody of the new songs fit) they even did a clever PONG light show thing with the regular stage lights!

The best performer was probably the person who played Linda...she was only in 2 scenes...but she stole the show. Amazing pipes and just hilarious.

AND...the ending...if you've seen the movie...well...this is DIFFERENT! SPOILERS....you know how the movie ends on the airplane...well, this time...Glenn and Julia actually make it to Vegas and Robbie...well, he doesn't meet the real Billy Idol...but a Billy Idol impersonator! The Rebel Yell Chapel ...and no White Weddings! HAHAHHA!!

Anyways, Robbie looks for the chapel where Glenn and Julia are getting hitched and he ends up at chapels with more impersonators: Mr. T, Cyndi Lauper, Tina Turner, Imelda Marcos (this is even funnier later)...and they get to the Reagan chapel with the "celebs" in tow...and you know how that ends...

Ok, the Imelda Marcos part was played by this Filipina...and well, the closing number had everyone kind of taking turns singing...so she sings a line in Filipino and Billy Idol sings "For those of you who don't speak Filipino...she meant things will work out ok" or something...but it was HILARIOUS!

So, yeah...I think this show is going to be a HUGE hit...but that's my gut reaction...I heard all the preview were sold out...so we were very lucky. We had fifth row, orch, left...which were AMAZING seats. So, I hope it was a good belated bday present for Grace.

On a more serious note. One of my friends has to have surgery to remove a lymph node from her breast...we're all hoping it's just an infection or something...but keep her in your prayers. It's definitely scary having any kind of procedure...but let's all hope and pray for the best.

Ok...I'm super sleepy today and I just want to get home to watch LOST. I am just in a weird mood today...but hey...comics, LOST, sleep...I got stuff to look forward to.

quote of the day...
Tuesday, April 11, 2006 11:00 a.m.

"There are explosive kegs, between my legs./ Dear God, please help me!" --Morrissey.

I told you the new album was lusty! But man, he gets it! The struggle between the flesh and the spirit...it's ongoing.

Yeah, I need a girlfriend...but I seriously don't even know how to meet new people nowadays. The one girl I met that got me excited and made my heart race a little...well, she has a boyfriend...and even if she didn't...she's gonna be gone all summer. (yes, thinly veiled allusions) So, whatchu gonna do?

Anyways, not much going on...built a little rollycart thing for my grandpa last night, watched tv, more cleaning up...and setting up my gear to re-record that song for the documentary. I gotta fiddle with stuff...it's not sounding right...mic problems?

Not gonna have a lick of work to do today...so I may take a long lunch and wander around. Hopefully I won't spend any money...but knowing me...when I am bored or upset...I go shopping. URRRGH! But I did figure out how I am going to pay for Doris' wedding stuff...I'm gonna take my AI checks and set them aside so I can pay for most of Aruba stuff that way....well, at least the flight.

That's about it... not much to report from my corner of the world. Oh...Wedding Singer tonight!

blog dangers
Monday, April 10, 2006 03:56 p.m.

Wow...one of my net buddies told me that one of her exes posted a comment on her guestbook.

I "think" my blog is pretty hidden...but you know, I bet anyone could find it if they really wanted to.

I've been posting on here since...what 2001? And there's a lot of stuff I've put out online...and an equal amount that I don't post.

Truth be told...if any of my exes were to email me or contact me today...I would flip. I may get angry and start throwing crap...or I'd just break down and cry like a baby. I don't know...and honestly, I'd rather not.

In my mind, I think it's better if she is "dead to me." Or if she never existed in the first place. Sometimes it hurts a lot ...and sometimes it hurts a bit less...but in the end...it still hurts.

There are so many things that I can't bear to be around. The curse of being a writer...I remember everything. Maybe not as it happened entirely, but I sure don't forget how I felt.

So, yeah...it's going to be another hard spring/summer. But I plan to be INSANELY busy and that should really help.

My poor e-buddy... hope things work out. The past rears it's ugly head and sometimes the only thing we can do is flinch.

family and food.
Sunday, April 9, 2006 08:34 p.m.

What a weekend of copious amounts of food. I am still stuffed.

Just came home Friday night and watched some tv, cleaned up, and went to bed pretty early.

Saturday, worked on my AI article, began cleaning up some bookshelves, and then the whole family went to my aunt's place to celebrate my grandpa's 90th birthday! That's 9-0!

Anyways, we had insane amounts of food, sushi/sashimi, steaks, lasagna, all the kids made whole wheat pizza, noodles, beer, snacks, ice cream, cake...just a TON of food. I helped uncle Alan with the cooking and the kids got really into making the pizza...which came out GREAT. Really good stuff.

Played with the kids a lot and the family watched King Kong and some baby videos. Wow...I can't believe there was a time when all of them were so small and cute. I love those kids so much...especially back then...wow.

The hard part was when we were watching one of Justin's baby tapes...and my dad was calling for my other grandpa...it was his birthday. And he was off screen for a while...when he came onscreen...I just got all choked up and I had to stop watching. It was just hard looking back on a video that was over 10 years old..seeing how young we all looked back then...and realizing that my grandpa isn't here anymore. It makes me appreciate my other grandparents a lot more...especially with what happened over the summer.

The kids played Karaoke Revolution...it was cute...but let me tell you...all of them were flat except for Lu Lu...she was the one that was most on key....even if she sang most quietly.

Anyways, I actually had a bit much to drink...and I konked out pretty soon after I got home.

Woke up kinda early this morning and had one of those dreams....or a memory about her. It really does sting. I got pretty upset and just got up, ate a little, finished up my article, and then went into major cleaning mode and rearranged a ton of stuff, cleaned up all my shoes, threw stuff out, and just went bonkers with the cleaning. A great sense of accomplishment and it got my mind off things.

I've just been feeling really worn out lately. And the fact that I was tossing the kids around and cleaning and cooking ...I'm even more tired than I am during the work week.

Anyways...if anything my biggest fear right now is feeling lonely. Every spring it hits...every summer it gets worse...and I'm afraid with all the HUGE weddings this year...it might be the worst. I'm just tired of this swinging back and forth. Feeling fine one minute and then utterly sad the next. What's wrong with me?

So, keeping busy seems to be key. I've got to...got to start running again. I'm pretty happy with the muscle mass I put on recently...now I have to trim down for summer.

Sopranos on soon... want to get some sleep early tonight. Long week ahead. Lots of stuff has to get done. So, let's do this.

oooh...colors.
Friday, April 7, 2006 03:33 p.m.

Well, since I changed my myspace page to something like this...I decided to change my blog too.

Like the new NEON glam-rock colors?

I dig it. Any thoughts? Love it? Hate it? Sign the guestbook and show me some love anyways!

TWILIGHT SINGERS!
Friday, April 7, 2006 03:16 p.m.

I have spent so much money today...well, money that will be spent in the future...

Anyways, one thing I purchased today: TWILIGHT SINGERS tickets!

June 1st...you and me Eunice... it's twilight time!

DUUUUUUULLLLLLLIIIIIII !!!!

myspace!
Friday, April 7, 2006 10:16 a.m.

I need to get in on this myspace thing...it's the cool thing since "Friendster got kinda gay"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Brv-TIb70b0&search=myspace%20daily%20show

hilarious! (the fact that I am commenting on myspace and using youtube...just makes it funnier!)

Josh hooked me up with some CSS script and I played with it to get it to be my trademark neon green and fuschia colors...it's HOT.

on the cusp of good things?
Thursday, April 6, 2006 11:24 p.m.

Ok...work was work. Got a lot done and some stuff to review tomorrow...and another project done!

This was from that kid again:

"that was exactly what i needed for my report and i will send a copy of my paper to you as soon as its finished. oh by the way ive been listining to your music and i love it. Your version Of Helena was awesome and reverie is probably my favorite."

Pretty darned cool, huh? Made my day. I'm gonna send the kid an autographed CD. hahahah let me enjoy my 15 minutes ok ?!??!

Anyways, hanging out with Maya is awesome. She seriously is a remarkable person. I don't say this lightly...she's very wise for her age. The stuff that we talked about...friends, family relationships, career...man, she's got a leg up. She knows things now that I just figured out at the ripe age of 30. And she's vibrant and gorgeous. Sigh.

Had a bunch of drinks and wathcing her interact with the wait staff and the people sitting near us. People just love her and she's a natural. I am a better person for knowing her.

She's actually going to be on tour with some new age musician this summer...so we are going to try to hang out a few times before she leaves.

She told me a few things that I cannot divulge: 1. About a mutual friend 2. about her...but well, I believe that God puts people in your life for a reason...and so far...ok...she was a hot girl I met at a party....yeah, but we are quickly becoming closer...and we are fast friends.

In short: she's the most amazing person I met last year.

Ok...enough of this. Anyways, here comes Friday and I am beat! I need to sleep my ass off this weekend...ahhh crap. Got another freelance article to finish...and yeah, I'm broke too.

One more day of work...and then...it's time to sleeeeep!

now my heart is full...
Thursday, April 6, 2006 04:32 p.m.

Ok...Superchunk and Portastatic are officially my MYSPACE friends...wow...almost all of my fave bands/artists are my friends on myspace now. AWESOME.

OH...and here's that email from STT guitarist, Nathan/ his band:

RE: RE: HEY FROM NATHAN , EX-SHUDDER TO THINK thanks Abe!! We appreciate it, and hope all is well with you.....we will bear u in mind for sure! thanks again and take care

Too cool.

Oh...that kid from NC emailed me again:

"I found out just about everything i needed except why you became a poet? Thats the only part i couldnt find on your site. That would be very helpful if you could tell me that. just a couple of sentences is all i really need. Thanks."

My reply: "Well, I'll give you the short version: I've always written poems and stories. I even have published work from when I was in elementary school! I've always loved literature and writing, but it was more of a hobby for me until I went to college. Several of my Creative Writing professors thought I was very talented and encouraged me to pursue writing as a career. So, instead of becoming a doctor...I decided to be a full-time writer.

I won a poetry contest while I was in college and several of my poems were published. This was very encouraging to me, and with some more guidance from my professors--I decided to go to NYU for grad school and received my Master of Fine Arts degree in Creative Writing in 2000.

Hope that helps. Thanks for your interest, J*****! I'd like to see your report if possible!

So, kids out there are really reading my stuff. Wow. I'm low-level famous!

ROTT
Thursday, April 6, 2006 09:43 a.m.

Yeah...continuing the trend of lots of blogging. Anyways, been listening to the new Moz album and it is dawning on me that...he's no longer celibate.

Oh, Moz.

The new album is rather lusty...and it also deals with God, faith, death, and generally pissing off people that piss you off...

But it is definitely growing on me...but there hasn't been an "Irish Blood, English Heart" or "I Have Forgiven Jesus" level of WOW yet... I love it, but those two from YATQ are among my all time fave Moz songs...EVER. So, yeah...a few more listens and I'm sure it will be essential.

On the other hand...was watching the Placebo bonus DVD last night and on the doc they said "Meds" was a huge departure for them. Really? It just sounds like good ol' rockin' Placebo to me...which I LOVE. Great stuff.

Oh...talked to Laura last night...we are both feeling weirdly nostalgic...and it always goes back to those first few times we met...where we just stayed up all night and that cold light of dawn...when everything is this hyperwashed out blue-green...that's what I miss...and I guess she misses that too. But hey, we're friends now. And we can laugh about all that stuff back then...and we can talk about the what ifs...yeah, funny that.

Ok...gonna try to finish up this one project today...woooo.

Drinks tonight....eeeeep.

LOST theory
Wednesday, April 5, 2006 11:22 p.m.

Yes, I know...I wrote a lot already...but last thing.

My theory about LOST. I think the people we know (and love) are in fact the "evil/tainted" ones and the Others are in fact the "pure/good" people...there must be some science/spiritual explanation...more on that later.

Anyways...let's tally. The castaways that we know...and of them...who has KILLED SOMEONE: Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, Jin (well, hurt people badly...did he kill anyone?), Sayid, Ana Lucia, Eko.

Still not sure...but they have done questionable things for sure (therefore tainted): Jack, Locke, Charlie, Claire, Shannon, Boone...Sun (?)

Who knows: Libby, Michael (though he seems like he's messed up some)

Anyways, I've seen online people's theories that the whole Dharma project is supposed to be about them finding a passageway to hell....or they are in fact in an Eden-like place...anyways the Cerebus stuff (on the blacklight map, the black mists, the monsters) seems to be leaning towards the idea that they are on the cusp of the underworls...but, who knows.

More revealed every week...and yes, I'm hooked. Aren't you?

Dang that's a lot to write for one day.

wild weather!
Wednesday, April 5, 2006 09:20 p.m.

SPOILERS !!!

Ok...It's a commercial break and I'm going to say this...Hurley has MPD! Multiple Personality Disorder...Well, I'm just guessing...we'll know if I am right in oh...30 mins. or so.

What a weird day! First it snows, then it rains...and then it's sunny. My doorman asked me if I thought it was the end of the world...who knows?

Work was pretty hectic today...but comics...oh, man. SO GOOD! SPOILERS>>> AVERT YOUR EYES!

In Infinite Crisis: Conner died saving the DCU...yup, after Superboy does it with Wonder Girl...he dies. It's like an old school horror film! Stay virgins! C'mon!

In Young Avengers: Hulking is revealed as...not Hulk related...but he is the offspring of Capt. Mar-vell and the Skrull Princess! And guess what else... the other two guys...happen to be Scarlet Witch's kids! One has chaos magic and the other is a speedster...ahem...Scarlet Witch and Quiksilver...and the dad...well, young Vision...he got some memory back...weird!

Batman Annual: Awesome cover! And it shows how Jason Todd was resurrected...kinda Buffy-esque...but the back story to all the Batman stuff from like 2 years ago...it's revealed...pretty good.

And guess what was waiting for me when I got home? PLACEBO AND MORRISSEY ALBUMS! AND not only that...but on my myspace page...guess who let me add them as friends...um...only my favorite bands EVER!!!! Ok...Morrissey, Twilight Singers, Placebo, Hot One (ex-Shudder to Think), the faint, my chemical romance...and I'm still waiting on Superchunk and Portastatic...but still...freaking cool! Nathan from STT even emailed me and asked me to add his new band! (well, I hope it was actually him) ...and I asked him if he ever needed an opening act...to let me know...and he emailed me back and said they'd consider it... wheeeeeeeeee!

Ok...and there's more...apparently there is some kid writing a report about me! Here's an excerpt from the email: "im doing a report on you and your poem Folding Won Tons In. i was wondering if you could write back with a little info about your self. Like what made you decied to be a poet/ musician? i need this info by April 9th at the latest. I would really appreciate it if you could help out with this. Also could you send me a couple of pictures???? "

So...unless it's a weird spammer...my poetry is still alive out there in the world...anyways...that's pretty darn cool.

Oh...and LOST...ok...so Hurley didn't have MPD...but he had an imaginary friend...the twist: "It's all in your head Hurley" explanation...sounded pretty good...except...um... "Vanilla Sky" did it first... it wasn't "true" ...but who knows. And Libby is crazy...we all knew that...lots of speculation about that from way back when Hurley said he knew her.

Oh...yeah, I'M HURLEY...except he's got like 150 lbs. on me and he gets to kiss hot blondes...but I am kinda crazy and I have had some bad luck...and he likes snacks and geekythings. Sigh.

OH! More! The South Park "Family Guy" episode... AWESOME! They comment on social concerns, self-referential stuff (um...hello, Scientology episode that got pulled), as well as the unfair comparisons to Family Guy... South Park is on a completely different level. It's much, MUCH smarter...and it's true...Family Guy jokes can be ridiculously random (which is part of the charm)...but South Park uses the cliches and archetypes set by pop culture and turns it on it's head and ANALYZES it. Family Guy just kind of makes a reference... and we laugh at the absurdity and familiarity of it...South Park dissects it.

I like Family Guy...but I LOVE South Park...it's one of my favorite shows of all time. And hey, it won the FRIKKIN' PEABODY!

And it was my dad's bday today. Happy birthday, pops!

Ok...whew...what a long entry...but wow...what a jam packed day. And here I was expecting it to be quiet.

Hanging out with M tomorrow...urrgh I'm broke though.

Thursday, here it comes.

To be young again...
Wednesday, April 5, 2006 09:25 a.m.

After work...met up with Unico and her friends Cindy and Lily at NYU... took them to Kenka and had some food. Cindy got accepted to NYU and she's still deciding whether or not she is going. So I took them to campus and checked out the new student center... WOW... they spent a lot of money on it! Glad I got a chance to see the finished product. Anyways, not sure if she likes NYU enough to come here...but I had a great experience...it was just that a lot of stuff I went through at the time was so difficult...anyways, they all seem like good kids.

Dropped them off at 34th Street so they could go to H & M and what not...I went home to watch DVR-ed Scrubs. Just tired.

And when I am tired...sometimes I can't sleep! What's wrong with me? Well, I finished up season one of "Dead Like Me" and I really liked it a lot... some parts of it had me laughing out loud...and I did get all teared up at others...so, next paycheck...I'm gonna get season 2...and I'm going to have to get nip /tuck season 2 eventually also.

Yeah, things have been pretty low key lately...even hanging out with M tomorrow should be pretty quiet... not really looking for drama at this point...but man, I sure could use a date sometime soon.

Yup, a year ago...my life was headed straight for the can... the slow and steady decline started around now... and well...June was the worst...so I better be busy and active and going out then...you guys better help!

Wow...it's Wednesday already???

123456
Tuesday, April 4, 2006 09:53 a.m.

Ok... supposedly tonight at 1:23 it will be something like 123456... As in 1:23 on April 5, 2006. Um... it's only supposed to happen once in a hundred years or something...so if you want to stay up late...go right ahead.

Speaking of which...I got home at like 11. Went to the Hyatt to see Unico (2 letters away from Unicron! ...from Transformers the movie...it's really something like "Yuriko"...but something got lost in the translation...she's 1/4 Japanese or something...anyways)...she's in NY with her 2 friends...their senior trip.

Well, I'm supposed to take them out to dinner tonight...but I'm pretty exhausted...have to keep at the coffee today.

Not much else...though Moz and Placebo albums are out today! Should be waiting for me when I get home. I just want to see the DVDs...since I've been listening through me "digital locker"...man, that's cool.

And yes...June 1st...Irving Plaza... TWILIGHT SINGERS! Why aren't tix on sale yet?

Dorking out...better than feeling crappy.

Still in the office...
Monday, April 3, 2006 07:56 p.m.

And it's like 8PM...supposed to go see my cousin from LA...waiting for my folks to drive into the city...and well, they are taking a lot longer than I expected. So I went clothes and CD shopping... got my dad a bday present and something for Justin...the funny thing is...I got the same polo shirt and rain/track jacket thing for myself. hey, no tax on clothes in NY! And I had a coupon!

Anyways, work was work today... not much really going on...I even came in at 7PM and did a little work...just because I was bored.

Oh...I did walk right past Eva Mendes just before...they are filming something by the mall... at first I wasn't sure it was her...but um...yeah...there are like 6 movie trailers outside...so why wouldn't it be? She's HOT.

Other than that... just waiting around. I might go to the mall and get some food...but I'm tired and broke...so I may just sit here in the creepy silence...which actually isn't that much different than when people are here. Funny that.

Ok...I may need to get out of here. Too many J-horror movies and I've creeped myself out.

Archived...and napaholic
Sunday, April 2, 2006 11:31 p.m.

Another month for the record books. Relatively calm and without incident...not exactly the best, nor the worst.

Compared with last year...I started my life of being unemployed a year ago...and now...new job, still alive, still struggling to do better. Scars and all...I'm still here.

Went grocery shopping for diet soda...and LIFE cereal. Yes, my fave cereal is rarely on sale...so when they had 2 for $5...I stocked up. And yeah, I may go back tomorrow to get some more. Got nothing else better to do.

A little clean up, worked on my article...fool that I am...I left what I worked on at the office...so I have to edit in the new stuff and send it out tomorrow morning...urrgh.

Was ironing some new shirts and they have this annoying tag thing on the inside...and on one of them...when I cut it off. Yeah, I cut a hole in the shirt. So I guess I'll have to tuck that one in. DUMMY!

Took a nap around 7...and was up at 830. I don't know if it's the allergies that are making me all nappy or what. Anyways, got up for Sopranos, worked out...and here I am getting ready for bed...again.

Maya wants to meet up Thursday. Am I just torturing myself or what?

Lots of stuff I have to get done. New Placebo and Moz albums were shipped...so I should get them on Tuesday hopefully. WOOO!

Watching "Dead Like Me" season one...realyl liking it...a lot like "Wonderfalls"...and the little inside jokes...awesome. This one character was named "Ronnie Dobbs"...which is a character's name from Mr. Show...and Mandy Patinkin guest starred in "Run Ronnie Run" (AKA the Mr. Show movie) and he sang the Broadway version of "Ronnie Dobb's theme/ballad"...how awesome is that?!?!? I bet there are like 10 people that think that is cool... I am a geek among dorks.

Yeeesh...spring is here...it's nice out. Must start running again...and man, it would be nice to meet a good girl for once.

Monday, here I come.