funny psychic moment !
Friday, February 27, 2004 01:34 p.m.

HAHAHA... I was talking to Reva...and the supercracky gal that she is said she thought that "cornucopia" was a funny word...and that "explosive diahrrea" was funny too....

I bought "Explosive flavored goldfish" ...and I offered some to Em... and she was like "my stomach don't feel too good..."

And I thought... "heh."

PSYCHIC!!!! OH MAN....

If anything...it was just too funny.

I want a high school romance too!
Friday, February 27, 2004 10:08 a.m.

Ok...work is really getting to me now. I really need to find something else and soon. I am dying for a change...someone save me...arrrgh!

Anyways... had lunch with Christine! She's applying for an internship at the UN...she is on call for translating Korean manga (manhwa)for CPM...and she's applying for law school. She says that she is going to get married next year... even though she isn't engaged yet... well..the best laid plans...

Just in a bad mood lately... so went home after exchanging scratched dvd...Friends is totally turning into SATC...Rachel is going to Paris ??? AWWW COME ON.

Worked on more vocals...I really think I can finish the first half of the album in a week or two...I can't wait to clear out my harddrive and start recording the next batch...my vocie sounds so much more mature now...listening to old vocal tracks...I sound so wistful...and young...I guess I'm a jaded old man now...

And Kare Kano... I am starting to really love this show..the story of Yukino's parents...oh man... I loved that...that kind of pure love...

And the whole Yukino falling for Arima all over again and just kissing him after he gets mad that she is being so weird (because she was all embarassed)...I want to experience that (again...kinda)...

gaaah...I'm such a sap.

TGIF. My brain is porridge.

I'm an idiot...but I tried.
Thursday, February 26, 2004 10:04 a.m.

Ok...work is getting to the point of being frustrated... you need to tell me what changes you want and not expect me to know them through my psychic powers. I've been doing things the "old" way...how am I supposed to make them new...if I don't know what is required...sheesh.

Yesterday was just a pissoffAbe-day...most of it because of my own stupidity.

Went to return something...train not running...had to walk ... forgot receipt. IDIOT.

Dropped off stuff for Justin at his management company.... and everything went down hill after that.

Work is arrrrgh!... and I feel so drained...my brain is ready to explode. I need something new.

Justin stopped by after his table read...turns out...that there are no guarantees...he read with a bunch of other actors for the screenplay writers...and they are just testing the flow of the script...so who knows if this gets off the ground...and if he gets a role...anyways...I took Justin to Best Buy and got him some games...

Mom came over for a while and we watched the Apprentice as Justin went to get accupuncture...he has a stuffy nose and asthma...

Anyways... that guy I saw being filmed on the subway...it WAS the guy from the Apprentice...so when the show looks like it's heading towards winter and the coats come out... maybe you'll see me looking really puzzled in the background.

Ok...so I apply for jobs. One for kids division at Penguin...and I notice I spell the word "position" wrong ! ARRRRGH!!! too late... dang email. Hopefully, they will overlook that...ahem.

AND...I wrote a kickass coverletter for Nerve.com...but do I really want to work there? I'm not so sure about that...but it would be a welcome change for this crap I have to deal with.

In any case... change is good. It's needed...

And Kare Kano is really good. I'm going to binge on it this weekend...anime is my lullabuy...I can't sleep without it.

Had a dream...Kare Kano influenced I'm sure...saw a tall guy and a "certain someone" from behind...I think it was an older (and buffer) version of me...and her. We were wearing green khaki/jungle outfits with orange belts...and staring at a valley as the sun went down... last thing I remember is... "I recgonize her butt" .... and man...I woke up... half laughing ...half upset.

That new Jim Carey movie..."Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" ... where you can erase a person from your memory...man...I want that.

It's been awhile since I really liked anyone...been awhile since I even had a mild crush... I'm getting used to this. Is that a good thing?

WOW...thursday already?

Eunice = KAWAIIIIIIIII !!!! ~squeals.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004 09:49 a.m.

So, yes...I feel like my arse is being kicked left and right. I'm exhausted.

Not much besides the onslaught at work... got Spy Kids 3D! But I didn't watch the 3D version...too lazy and I didn't want the nausea. woooot...I liked Spy Kids 2 better though... best part... Bill Paxton's cameo when he says "GAME OVER!" ...why didn't RR comment on it in the commentary track ??? classic... throwback to ALIENS... ok...I'm a nerd.

Anyhooo... after work... went to see Eunice's new haircut...she got like chin length bob kind of thing... and OMG... so frikkin adorable... you just want to hug and kiss her and make a thousand gajillion babies! HAHAHAH... I think this length suits her better... even if it took years to grow her hair so long... this cut is spunky. I like it a lot.

Home... movies... and...I started working on my album again...cleaning up vocal tracks...since my voice is much stronger now...and I can hit harmonies a little tighter... it sounds better... I just have to do 3-4 more tracks over...and I'll be ready to mix down the first half of my album...

Anyhoo... I've been learning some serious life lessons ...from anime. Kare Kano... two students who are good looking, popular,etc... and they don't date anyone...until they fins each other... a perfect compliment. So...I'm just going with this attitude... there's no point in dating around if in the end...things aren't going to work. I'm going to hold out...until I feel ready...once I get myself worthy of someone... then I'll forge ahead. Right now...I feel like there is so much for me to take care of before I am ready for someone in my life... so... better Abe... better Abe's girl... we'll see how this works out.

And...is it wrong that I have a crush on Lindsay Lohan? She's like 17 ? And I think she is amazingly cute...and talented... jeebus.

Justin's table read today...

Abe's Pescaterian Lent starts today !

urrrgh... wednesday.

gym!
Tuesday, February 24, 2004 09:33 a.m.

Work has become somewhat predictable...I come in...write a buncha nerdy crap...and leave.

MEt up with Eunice for Halal food...we sat in the park...even if it was a little chilly...she sais I was being philosophical when I asked her what kind of dog would she be... I'd be a St. Bernard...anyways....it was that kind of day.

So, Justin gets a script for an indie film and his first line is "oh fuck" and he has to come out with a Penthouse and a bottle of lotion. I don't want my baby to do this !...oh AAAAAND.. some of it TAKES PLACE AT STUYVESANT! jeebus. Supposedly, there are stars attached to the script and there is a chance it could be greenlit to be a movie...we'll see what this is all about tomorrow at the tableread or whatever they are doing.

Anyways...off to the gym... 30 mins. of cardio and I am wiped.Head home and OPHER is there... he's doing research for his interview...hope he gets a job soon.

We had dinner and I go on an Ai Yori Aoshi binge... watched the last two discs...and finished up the first season...man... I don't like Aoi since she seems so subservient...but it was a nice love story...and thank goodness the main guy is set on her. They actually kiss in the anime series... which much like some love anime stories... they don't... weird isn't it ?

Inferno! Jeremy is an idiot.

It's been an interesting morning...there is this Haitian woman that preaches on the F train... I usually take the same car as her like once a month. I don't mind...except her accent makes it hard to understand her... anyways...this bald white dude... starts yelling at her telling her not to preach and that it's for people who go to church on Sundays... and he doesn't want to hear it...etc...

A young black guy goes to defend the woman and he starts cursing up a storm ! FUCK! COCKSUCKER! ...and the old lady goes with a smile on her face and tries to hold him back... he was saying that he didn't believe what she was talking about...but she should be able to speak...

The two guys almost come to blows...and the bald guy says "You want to go to jail? This isn't a race thing..." and the other guy still goes on about "You're a nerd! FUCK YOU!"... oh man.

So... I proscribe to the " I don't agree with what you say...but I will defend your right to say it" angle... but at the same time...people should be allowed to commute in peace... so who is right ? I don't think anyone is.

I just wish I understood what the woman was saying!

And...out of the station...as I cross the street...BIG DRAG QUEEN.... and it's snowing.

Weird start... and my knees are aching.

Pray for Gloria...she emailed me last night...she's having surgery today! Appendix getting removed ! Oh man...

And my doorman says that someone got shot at the school down the block... craziness...better check the news.

What a weird week. Let me just enjoy my last SEC for the next 40 days.

anime thoughts...
Monday, February 23, 2004 12:10 a.m.

Finished FUll Metal Panic and Sugar this weekend...

FMP... the end was pretty good. I'm hoping the second season gives more about the whole "dark technology" angle... cool robots, hot girls... this is totally "Abeanime."

Sugar...one of the cutest anime series I've ever seen. And no...I didn't get teary eyed... but I could have! I want my own snow fairy !

Finishing up season 1 of Ai Yori Aoshi...talk about hot girls...at least Hanabishi isn't a total Tenchi (ok...only anime geeks know what I mean)...why can't I have a swarm of hot girls chasing after me? sigh.

Anime is my best friend and worst enemy.

blaaargh! double blaaargh!
Monday, February 23, 2004 10:01 a.m.

EH... here's the recap.

Friday... not much going on had Mandler's with Eunice for lunch... went home to practice.. watched tv... pretty much it.

Saturday: lots of cleaning, more practicing... Serena came over and I made her dinner and we watched BR and BR II... beat her up ... and smacked her with pillows. It was juvenile...but fun. We can't act like adults, apparently. So cute and sassy.... just want to squeeze her...and pinch her too.

After she left... watched SNL... Christina Aguilera really was ho'ed up... but her Samantha impression was pretty darn good.

Mini-psychic moment... after the "Do you know who my father is?" sketch on SNL...literally...right after it was over...my Dad (who was tipsy from a party) called and said " did you think of your Daddy today??!?" HAHAHHA I said "sure."

Sunday... more practicing... cleaning up... so tired...had to nap...just not feeling all that good. Might be getting sick...kind of achey... eh...not much to talk about... already mentioned my thoughts on SATC...

And oh yeah...I got jury duty.

And oh yeah...gig got cancelled.

And oh yeah... no money, no girl...

bleak. and blaaaargh.

And oh yeah...it's Monday.

urrgh..why me?
Sunday, February 22, 2004 10:35 p.m.

Thought I'd blog about this now...

The green room just called to say that they scheduled someone else tomorrow ! ARRRGH! I had a bad feeling about this schedule...in any case...gig postponed. Pisses me off since I have all this new material that I wanted to play...crap. Hopefully, I'll get a chance to play soon.

Other couldbebad news... I got jury duty. Crap. I have to start calling on March 19th...but I think if I get selected...I have to go this time. It's not one of those... "oh you could be selected" notices...this one looks like the real deal... urrrgh.

Are things never going to look up for me? Where is the cosmic justice?

A girlfriend, a better job, healthy friends and family would be nice.

Sigh. I'm thankful for what I have...but is it wrong to whine a little when things go off ?

Lord, help me!

goodbye to the girls...
Sunday, February 22, 2004 09:57 p.m.

Just a few thoughts on the Sex and the City... I'll resume with my regular blog duties tomorrow.

Was I happy with the ending...eh... yes.

Was it predictable... kinda.

SPOILERS ! avert your eyes if you haven't seen it yet...

Ok.. Charlotte adopting a Chinese baby! WOOOO !
Smith being a great guy... yeah, right. HAHAHHA
And Big... getting Carrie...of course. That's the only way the series should end.
...but his name is John!?!?!? How lame.

All in all..this was a show that I got hooked on after all the titillating stuff died down and the relationships and the city were the highlights.

And I have to admit...along with Buffy, Boy Meets World, and the Sopranos...it's probably my favorite tv series.

I'm sad to see it go...I'm sad that the rush of seeing "hey...I work on that block!" or..."I had drinks/dinner there!" is over.

At times I felt like the show was dealing with my life. Yes, I can be a girl a lot of the times...and I felt that a lot of stuff that Carrie and Miranda were going through...reflected what was going on in my life.

And to pick a guy that would be closest to me? A mix of the romantic/artistic attributes of Petrovsky and the good guy schmuckyness of Aidan... with a pinch of the writer/neuroses of Berger... but in the end... like them, I never get the girl. :( awww...poor Abe.

Yes... I shall lust after Charlotte/Kristin and yes... I still have my DVDs (as soon as I get them back from ahem... a certain pair of lovely ladies) I shall revisit them. I've missed a lot of the early episodes...but from season 3 on out... I've seen pretty much everyone.

In any case, it was a great show. Kudos.

I love this city.

awww Reva quote.
Friday, February 20, 2004 01:29 p.m.

Just reading Reva's blog:

"Well, late night calls to NYC always make me feel better. Thanks, Abe! I am sooooo moving to NYC so we can be totally famous and hott all at the same time."

Our world tour shall begin the moment you step off the plane in NYC!

Weirdo psychic-y moment again... just as I finish writing this practice test thing for work...which had the word "reprobation" ( you come up with a fill-in the blank sentence!) I read Reva's blog ...and she mentions someone named "Reprobate"....

WEIRD! I should buy a lottery ticket.

lame...but kinda fun.
Friday, February 20, 2004 09:39 a.m.

Work is getting nutty...Pericles now...oh man...

Went to get some stuff during lunch...new gig bag and some accesories for guitar... man...guitar center... *drools.

Hung out at work a little longer...went to post office top mail Deanna her recs. for grad school...off to meet up with Eunice...

Wne tto 13... and Stuy mixer... guess who the first person I see there is. LAUREN... I was like..."You didn't go to Stuy!" ...turns out she is Joan's coworker...and she came...anyways... She asked how my music stuff was going...so I gave her one of my cards...and she was like "this isn't centered! I don't like it!".... so I um...gave her another one.

Then...she was like "I'm getting so old ! I just turned 29! Look at these!" ...pointing to imaginary eye wrinkles..

I offered to buy her a drink and she said they didn't have anything she wanted there... can we say high maintenance??? She wanted a cough drop or something...and apparently she was hiding from everyone for 6 months...because she had a boyfriend mayhaps??? IN any case... she is HOT..but a little weird...ok...a lot weird.

Paul Kim was macking on her...good luck!

Met some kids from class of 99 and Andrew and Claudia ? One edited commercials...other fashion design... cool Then this old guy from Class of 63...Zed or Seth...comes and tried to mack on Doris and Eunice ! He even said he was looking for "an Asian woman with an Elektra complex" ...oh man...only Stuy kids would understand that...in any case...lawyer and stand-up comedian... hahah funny guy...he could speak Chinese... me and my Jew fetish and his Asian fetish...hahah where were all the hot Jewish girls ???

Mike Yong was there...we talked music...this kid Charles... totally flaming now... and Elisa was there with Jay and Jimmy... anyways...

Went to Wendy's with Eunice...and Doris came later with Jimmy and Irving... anyways... Eunice was mad...cause I was mad she called me her "gay brother"...but I wasn't really... but then and then...anyways... not worth going into.

The point is...I love her and she loves me...and we are dorks. Why won't she just marry me? Our children would not be mutant freaks...unless they were X-men...then that might be cool. But I digress...

Doris came...we had post-buzz pig out...and hopped in cab and respective trains afterwards.

The saddest thing is... the hottest girls at the mixer were...my two best friends...and crazy girl I had brunch with. Sigh.

Ok...give me one gay moment: the shirt I was wearing that night...same shirt I wore when I had brunch with Lauren. I remember my outfits...sheesh.

Anyways...the lameness overcame the craziness and the fun... but I got some Wendy's... and all was right with the world.

TGIF. woot.

lame...but kinda fun.
Friday, February 20, 2004 09:39 a.m.

Work is getting nutty...Pericles now...oh man...

Went to get some stuff during lunch...new gig bag and some accesories for guitar... man...guitar center... *drools.

Hung out at work a little longer...went to post office top mail Deanna her recs. for grad school...off to meet up with Eunice...

Wne tto 13... and Stuy mixer... guess who the first person I see there is. LAUREN... I was like..."You didn't go to Stuy!" ...turns out she is Joan's coworker...and she came...anyways... She asked how my music stuff was going...so I gave her one of my cards...and she was like "this isn't centered! I don't like it!".... so I um...gave her another one.

Then...she was like "I'm getting so old ! I just turned 29! Look at these!" ...pointing to imaginary eye wrinkles..

I offered to buy her a drink and she said they didn't have anything she wanted there... can we say high maintenance??? She wanted a cough drop or something...and apparently she was hiding from everyone for 6 months...because she had a boyfriend mayhaps??? IN any case... she is HOT..but a little weird...ok...a lot weird.

Paul Kim was macking on her...good luck!

Met some kids from class of 99 and Andrew and Claudia ? One edited commercials...other fashion design... cool Then this old guy from Class of 63...Zed or Seth...comes and tried to mack on Doris and Eunice ! He even said he was looking for "an Asian woman with an Elektra complex" ...oh man...only Stuy kids would understand that...in any case...lawyer and stand-up comedian... hahah funny guy...he could speak Chinese... me and my Jew fetish and his Asian fetish...hahah where were all the hot Jewish girls ???

Mike Yong was there...we talked music...this kid Charles... totally flaming now... and Elisa was there with Jay and Jimmy... anyways...

Went to Wendy's with Eunice...and Doris came later with Jimmy and Irving... anyways... Eunice was mad...cause I was mad she called me her "gay brother"...but I wasn't really... but then and then...anyways... not worth going into.

The point is...I love her and she loves me...and we are dorks. Why won't she just marry me? Our children would not be mutant freaks...unless they were X-men...then that might be cool. But I digress...

Doris came...we had post-buzz pig out...and hopped in cab and respective trains afterwards.

The saddest thing is... the hottest girls at the mixer were...my two best friends...and crazy girl I had brunch with. Sigh.

Ok...give me one gay moment: the shirt I was wearing that night...same shirt I wore when I had brunch with Lauren. I remember my outfits...sheesh.

Anyways...the lameness overcame the craziness and the fun... but I got some Wendy's... and all was right with the world.

TGIF. woot.

you gotta be a little crazy...
Thursday, February 19, 2004 09:59 a.m.

Work was work...finished African Oral Traditions...and just wanted to veg out for the rest of the day...next... Pericles' Funeral Speech...jeebus.

I must stop with the SEC! Skipped lunch yesterday... so it was ok... but I got comics... so in some cosmic way...it all balances out.

Went to meet with Karla and we talked shop at Belmont Lounge... wow...all of us writers are a little crazy...some more than others...we traded old time war stories...I was kind of on the fringe...but she was in the thick of the writer's milleu...and man... I guess somethings were going on that I had no idea about...in any case... I'm kind of sad that I missed out on certain things...but I was dealing with a lot of stuff outside of the whole NYU writer's thing... oh, well...

In any case...I'm excited to get this thing on the road... a few emails..a room assignment...and a choice of bar...and we are set to go.

Home...more music...and just as I'm getting ready to go to bed...REVA calls ! YAY! ...we talked a little bit...she is supercracky Mormon-y goodness. I hope she finds a nice boy that deserves her...

Played her a little bit of "In Your Words" over the phone...she liked it...woot.

Serena! I have hope for her. She's a sweetie under the rough exterior...I know it. But it's fun insulting each other all day.

OK... It's Thursday...Stuy mixer ? Ugh... just hoping it will be quick and painless..and avoiding any chance ...superslim...of a certain person being there.

Anyhooo..week is almost over...gig on Monday... gaah ! I'm not ready !

before I forget...
Wednesday, February 18, 2004 10:23 p.m.

Another random "psychic" moment...was outside during lunch thinking about working on my novel...and a random name popped in my head... "Otis Ruebottom" ...someone I had class with at NYU...and I was thinking...man... would he be mad if I named a character like "Trever Kuebottom"...anyways..

I come hoem and check my email...and guess who writes to our alumni listserve. YUP.

I haven't thought about that name (or person) in like 5 years... very odd.

That and the "Sabrina" thing lately... hmmm...wonder what else...

Ok...more tomorrow.

escapism...
Wednesday, February 18, 2004 09:37 a.m.

So, I'm obessessed with that Crimson Room game...I want the next room to be done as soon as possible...I guess I just like escaping. Funny thing is...Eunice got that URL from Reen and she got it from someone that knows Serena... small world. It's like Friendster.

Had lunch with Eunice yesterday... I had a craving for pizza for once... isn't that odd?

Justin's audition didn't go over too well.. so he went with my Mom to Pokemon Center... I met up with them and took them to Silver Spurs for burgers. ...and gelato after.

When I look at him...I still see my big baby. He's getting taller, his voice is deepening...but he's still so cute to me. Kinda like Eric too...hahah. I guess I'm weird if I love my brothers so much... eh.

Other than that... more playing music... getting my voice in shape..etc...

Anime until I pass out. Kiddy Grade has been decent...I hear it gets a lot better...but Last Exile has just been amazing from the get go...the most beautiful anime I have ever seen...if you like Top Gun, steampunk era kind of stuff...you must buy it now !

Back to work...meeting with Karla tonight to discuss writer's group!

Can you escape the Crimson Room ?
Tuesday, February 17, 2004 03:43 p.m.

It's a game! Maddening... just click a lot and collect the items.

Leave me a message if you need a hint!

http://www.datacraft.co.jp/takagism/index_e.html

blandness continues...
Tuesday, February 17, 2004 09:36 a.m.

Not really much to say about the state of things...

Been working on African Oral Traditions...which means like 50 pages of manuscript... a lot of it that I have to write on my own... gaaah.

In any case... lunch at CHo Dang Gol was good... met up with Cindy and Jen... it's so weird how I'm closer to Cindy now... I still remember the first time we met at Congee King (yeah...a lot of interaction with food) with Jen and Mark... hahaha... "tofu dregs" mmm. I love those gals.

Jen is pretty much the same...but I take it that moving out to Middleton isn't the best thing for her... thanks for lunch! And how does bad caviar taste? Apparently...like "chinese medicine."

Finished up what i could at work...and then I went home ... the trains were super slow because everyone was on holiday...while I was stuck at work. The injustice!

Installed my shiny black toilet seat... this is what I have to look forward to in life. sigh.

Eunice was right...it does look like a public bathroom.

Worked on some music and watched some of Fight Club...I've been reading the book lately...it's pretty close. But I can see how they edited. Makes me think like the editor I am...where to cut and move things around...from book to screenplay... hmmm. My gears are turning.

Bye bye Trishelle...she lost the pepper eating contest on the Inferno. sigh...this is what I have to look forward to.

And congrats goes out to Reva! She finished her Master's recital... she kicked the isssht out of that violin! Yeah...you show it whose boss !

Tuesday. Another one. wooot.

why do I have to work ?
Monday, February 16, 2004 09:48 a.m.

Well... the streets are awfully quiet...and no one else is at work besides US ! Sheesh...

Sunday recap.... Eunice woke me up... she called me to check up on me...she had a dream that one of her old neighbors was trying to push me off a ledge? Awww...so cute that she had to call to make sure...even if her dream scenario was impossible... hahah ....you know what I mean!

just feeling tired and achey... heartburn was bugging me all day... not sure...but I bet it's because I have no Brita filter refill and I haven't been drinking enough water... in any case...

Laundry, playing guitar... lazing about...

Chris came over and we watched the NBA All-Star game...and Sex and the City... I knew Big was coming back!

All Star game was ok... I got a little distracted because of credit card company...the CSR pissed me off. CRIKEY! He might have hung up on me...won't go into boring details...but he said something very inappropriate "well, there were 27 other days when you could have scheduled a payment."... GRRRRR.. Um... hello... this month's bill came early...and it's a holiday...and I paid it online. ...blaargh.

Big news is that I finished editing my resume and sent it into a recruitement center... they do headhunting in publishing...we'll see what happens.

And Wendy was online... she's been getting ready to open her restaurant in Singapore...mystery solved... I was just about to email her too...

I know...boring.

Bah...it's Monday.

Valentine's Day is for suckers. :(
Sunday, February 15, 2004 02:25 p.m.

Yeah...I'm a little bitter... more on this later..

Quick re-cap of Friday: Work has been pretty darn busy with same old stuff... except Emily is getting a little testy...she called me a "sappy lush"...um...ok.

Lunch...was supposed to meet up with Gloria...but she doesn't have a cell phone...and I was running a little late...so ended up missing her... oh well. Got some Ktwon take-out... the thing that sucks...is that the sign for the "bento-type" lunch was written only in Korean...but some white guy picked up, rice, soup, and entree...and it was 5 bucks...so I followed what he did... how ironic.

Anyways...after work...had dinner with Serena at Holy Basil...I was telling her that it's been ten years since we realyl hung out...(we used to work at Baskin Robbins together) ...and we've both changed. I think she is actually pretty much the same...hahah! She still cracks her gum, giggles constantly, rolls her eyes sarcastically. good ol' Serena.

Walked around St. Mark's a little bit and that was about it... she had to go to Flushing to meet her brother's girlfriend...anyways...I stopped by Cindy's and said hi. Picked up a Placebo concert and Kylie DVD... random! BTW, Kylie's new single "slow"...is smoking... oMG I need a cold shower.

Played music and watched tv when I got home... pretty much it... lazy Friday.

Saturday...blecch...just trying not to think of the past and what Girl X, Y, Z are doing...

Changing strings on my guitar and one of the pegs snapped and cut my hand! I freaked out and slapped on a Band-Aid and rushed to Sam Ash.

This dude Hector took good care of me and got my guitar fixed and restrung. I even got a hard case for 30 bucks...woot.

Doris called and told me how things were on Friday...and ahem... a certain mutual friend of ours got trashed. I shoulda went with them!

Home... All-Star stuff on TV... the slam dunk contest was a bit of a let down...man... J-Rich had an amazing dunk thebetweenthelegschopthing...but the last dunks didn't go in...sucked.

Anyways... ended up staying up late and writing a new song... It's probably the simplest one I've written in awhile...and I think the bridge is my favorite of any song I've written...in awhile. It's very "pure pop" song. Too bad it's a work of fiction at the moment. :( Anyways...here it is:

"In Your Words"

Another night on this side of 3 AM
I pick up this old guitar and try to write again

It’s getting harder and harder for me to talk to you
Because nothing I could say could ever be as good

As the words you said to me
And now I almost believe
That there’s nothing more simple and true
As the words I’d say back to you

I used to take pride in my verbosity
I thought a thousand words would win you over so easily

But you prove me wrong again & again with your reticence
You said: less is more when you feel it in your heart and not your head

Like the words you said to me
And now I almost believe
That there’s nothing more simple and true
As the words I’d say back to you

I always thought I’d be the one to say it first
But I was afraid that this would end in hurt

But you left me reassured
that you loved me
in your words

in your words
in just three words
in your words

suckers. feh. I could care less right now.

chaste.
Friday, February 13, 2004 09:54 a.m.

Again with the sausage egg and cheese! Jeeez...ok no more. I'm glad I've been so active lately... I still fit in my clothes...for now. Must start working out again!

Sappho... not very erotic...hahah. That's work for you.

Lunch...went to run errand swith Emily...she was buying a photo frame... I bet it's for her "boyfriend"... I don't want to pry,,,nor do I want to know... and she was like... "why are you all dressed up today?" and I was all like "wouldn't you like to know??!" and she was like "yeah!" ... "...." ... how very high school... I'm glad she's happy... but I'd rather be ignorant of it...at least until I have someone to talk about ... ugh.

Anyways... had boring-ass training session...and then emailed with Karla to get this NYU writer's group up and running...we are going to discuss details next week..

Met up with Lynn for dinner... Cocina Cuzco...my favorite Peruvian restaurant...is now...a bank. SUCKS!

So we walked up Ave. A ...and lo and behold... "Cocina Latina" ... new place! I bet they are in the same vein as Cuzco... really cheap prix fixe...highly recommended... great food... Had the steak, crab cakes, and beer for 16 bucks... excellent.

Anyways.. talked to Lynn... she's really cute...and chaste. Just graduated... never had a bfriend...no smoochies either... I think she's a little idealistic in the fact that she says she wants the guy to pursue, wants a relationship to develop naturally, wants the guy to "understand" her for who she is and not what he thinks she is... it's just a lot of prerequisites... even though she says she isn't holding out for an "ideal"...she's got a set criteria already...

In any case, yeah...I'm not a total whore... but I'm not all that innocent either...but when do we forgo our ideals...and just settle?

That was such a Carrie Bradshaw line. I deserve to be punished...

But I digress... I know I'm not going to find anyone who is going to come close to the past... or to what I imagine...but does that mean I am destined to settle for someone who is "good enough" ...

Maybe I'm being a girl...but I want that spark, fire, electricity...and it's been so hard to find in this jaded city.

Yes...I'd settle for "sane and cute"...but that has become such a rarity also...

I just suck...

And on the way home...they were filming some reality show on my subway car... some bald, black guy? Is he on The Apprentice? What other show is filmed in NY ? He was wearing a khaki colored coat with a furry color...and black sweater with a red stripe...hmmm.

So ..dinner with Serena tonight...then holing up in my apartment in a fetal position until tomorrow is over.

Friday the 13th...and all's well.... not!

enough ranting and raving...
Thursday, February 12, 2004 09:42 a.m.

Well...the madness continues... another sausage egg and cheese! I need to skip lunch today. jeebus.

Yesterday was more work wildness... more manuscript...I finished up on Psalms...and now... Sappho...whoah... from the Isle of Lesbos...I'm sure the kids will LOVE that. I can hear them cracking up already.

Had lunch with Gloria in Ktown yesterday... had hae mul daen jeong ji gae... it was ok.. we always have good conversations... pet peeve of the moment: girls who bring up their boyfriends unnecessarily... sigh.

After work went to Doris' to build a book shelf thingee for her... I am bookshelf master...I've built like 15 in the past 3 years or so... but this one was HARD. A lot of screwing...and my hand got crampy...oh...that sounds bad. Don't take that out of context, kiddies.

On the way over...I was still thinking about that Dave Mustaine thing...and church...and I started praying...asking God to teach me to be kinder and to be generous and giving... lo and behold... homeless guy. I gave him a buck and he was like "it's all how you approach someone!' ...not really...it's more like God convicting you of being true to your word. sigh... The G man sometimes gives you one of these moments. I like them.

Called Amy and Nancy on the way over to Doris'...was about to call Sabrina too...but got to Doris' just then....*this is called foreshadowing...

Anyways...bookshelf, Doris cooked...Leslie came over... ate...bitched about relationships... had to leave early..

Tired...home...played some rock... and just as I am heading to sleep... Sabrina calls form out of the blue!

Seriously... miraculous. Psychic connection...whatever, you lot.

We talked for awhile...things are good in DC and lawyerdom. she's getting married Sept. 4th...and Karen Sept. 18th... OH MAN...

So..Sara, Kaori (Jen?), Sabrina, and Karen weddings coming up in the year... I dunno if I can handle all this.

Thems the breaks. I will continue and soldier on... must think like a boy. I am not a character on Sex and the City...this does not faze me.

Thursday. grrrrrr.

Oh yeah...and I shave off the goatee. :(

Bible chat...
Wednesday, February 11, 2004 03:42 p.m.

Just some thoughts since I've been immersed in Bible stuff for the past week at work...

This whole deal with Dave Mustaine "claiming to be a Christian"... ok...good for him... but then so what? I hope no church kids start going out and starts buying Megadeth records just because of this fact. How lame.

So many people who have claimed to be "Christian" have turned out to be the most judgmental, hate filled, narrow minded people I have ever met. And then again... there are those that are the most loving and caring also.

I believe in the tenets of Christ... but I do not like the Christian (especially Asian Christian) culture...and I don't think I will ever go back to that in full force.

Once you've been removed from it... you see things in a different light.

So much head knowledge...but what happened to the heart? And how is that love put into action?

Don't think that just because someone goes to church and participates in this and that...that it makes them "better"...it's not.

I don't want to judge people...but I know when someone is putting up a "church face." And I refuse to do it...and I don't like it when it is done to me. Be yourself 24/7... there are aspects...sure. But who you are...is who God loves and sees...and forgives.

Sincerity, love, genuine care for your fellow human being... this is sadly lacking... in everyone.

Christ was a radical and a revolutionary... he upheld things the way that was based on TRUTH.

But when the truth is bent and shaped and books are written saying this and that... what is lost...is the SPIRIT of the TRUTH...

This is what I think is the most important thing.

You can pay attention to all the details and follow them to a T...but if you've lost that main message... you are missing EVERYTHING.

I go to church to worship God, to be thankful... I don't need the social context as much as some other people... that immersion doesn't fly with me at this point in my life.

My relationship with God is based on 2 things...Him and me...

Simple.

I am a sinner...I have been forgiven...Now what do I do with this knowledge?

Yes, I mess up badly...heck...I fuck up royally.

But in the end... I know what is black and white for me... and I know what I need to do...

But I will not hold one man wiser ...without some proof. Humans operate on faulty logic all the time. Don't start spouting off scripture either. Do you know what you are talking about? Really? And based on whose interpretation? Cults..even Satan himself can quote scripture better than you or I.

Don't get me wrong...I love the church... I love brilliant speakers, choirs, all of that... but the culture outside of the church... and the destructive ethnocentrism of Asian churches (stop denying it...it's there.) undermines Christ's message. And don't even get me started about the Christian Right. GRRRRR ! The singular mind frame, the by rote vocabulary... I can't deal with that. There is enough division.... why is there so much in the one place where there should be none?

So...don't tell me I have to go to this and that. No. I go out of my own volition. I go because I love God, and I know He loves me...regardless.

Ok...I'm ranting and raving...and I'm losing focus. Basically, I just want people to take a minute to really think...before they open their mouths. Including people who are Christians...and those that slam them. Relax. This is the greatest country in the world...where we have such a freedom and privilege. Amen to that.

Think, feel, behave, live... as an individual.

As 'pac said..."Only God can judge me."

And you can judge yourself.

"I have no professional training in dancing or singing."
Wednesday, February 11, 2004 09:43 a.m.

There is a whole website devoted to my man:

http://www.williamhung.net

Anyhoo... lots of odd stuff happened yesterday... I had a sausage egg and cheese for breakfast, for lunch, and again for breakfast today...it's been a long time since I've had one...and now 3 in 24 hours ? whoah.

Work... odd... working on Psalms now.

And a certain person referred to her "boyfriend" ...ahem. I could care less now.

Had OldNavy spree with Eunice. we got socks and underwear. Undiebuddies. I have enough boxers to last me for years now.

Went downtown and said hi to Mark...he's gotten gayer and gayer... just dropped in and said hi...then off I went to meet Laura.

It's been a long time... man... her hair got longer...so did mine...and she seems more ...subdued. Just a little bit. I'm glad she is doing well.

Went to Sweet and Vicious and had a Stella... she got red after one beer... turns out her bfriend is a lot like me...musician, multi-tasker, upbeat, and outgoing... but he's a little tight on the reigns with her...

In any case... good conversation...and I realize...why I liked her so much...and also why she and I would never work.

I'm basically a normal guy with a creative flair...that I don't have to parade around in my "dress and lifestyle." And she's an artist...that is desperately trying to fit the "artsy fartsy" mold...surrounding herself with artists, lunatics, dressing funky, etc...which is all fine and good... but that's not me.

I look and seem like a "mild mannered citizen" and I function well socially... I don't need to PORTRAY the angst and live and die for my art. That's just a part of my life...it's not all of it.

In any case... I probably could use a few more artist friends... she could probably use a few normal friends...

We had dinner at Silver Spurs... great fries there...and some Tast-i-Dlight...woot. (so that would be twice in 24 hours...)

I'm glad I can be friends with her...I was a little harsh with her the last time I saw her...(see Blog Archives) and couldn't deal with the insanity and the tears... but now... I think things are ok.

I'm not going to lie and say that I am completely ok with my past...I still think of two heartbreakers in my past...and it does upset me that I can't be with...either one...hahah...but that's how life is... I'll learn more in my ripe age... I just want someone NEW...someone good for me...for once.

blaaargh. tell me it gets better.

No...I do not want to buy your puppy!
Tuesday, February 10, 2004 09:37 a.m.

Work was blistering... still working on ATE wrap...and will probably be doing so until next year... I better get promoted or I will up and quit.

Lunchtime ...ran to photo shop with Em...then Guitar Center for some pics..uneventful...

This goatee is not looking too good...I feel scuzzy and scuzzy is as scuzzy does...

Went to St. Mark's to meet up with CIndy...got BR Director's Cut...which was a bunch of non-subbed featurettes (still cool to see the cast) and a few new scenes...maybe 5 mins. worth...

And then some girl and her boyfriend were trying to sell me their puppy! It was in a bookbag...and they were carrying it around... odd. Only on St. Marks

Met up with CIndy for dinner at GO! ...Japanese food...she had this cold soba thing...and grilled mackerel that was pretty good... she gave me this crazy book called "The Pop-Up Book of Phobias"...it would be cool...if it wasn't so frightening! We talked about foood for like 2 hours... fun.

Had takoyaki and Tasti-D-Light and stopped by to say hi to Cindy K.

It took me nearly 2 hours to get home... dang. Had to take a bus and walk ...

The Inferno...can I just say... you people are idiots. Julie has crazy eyes.... like @_@ THAT KIND OF CRAZY. And Coral has the biggest bazongas I have ever seen... jeebus. Trishelle... moron. Hot...but not so bright. I still don;t particularly like anyone from this cast...but I'm still rooting for the Real World...

The Office...you people MUST watch this show... hilarious... the episode when David plays guitar and sings his insane songs (good guitar and melody... nutjob lyrics) ...reminded me a lot of me. NEVER SING IN THE WORKPLACE! hahahah ...I'll keep that in mind.

Supposed to meet up with Laura tonight. Let's keep things civil, kiddies.

monday... another one... blaaargh.
Monday, February 9, 2004 09:39 a.m.

Back in the saddle at work...a few thoughts...

Didn't mention it... but yesterday was a certain nutjob's bday... I guess NC doesnt make you any less insane than NY...

*sigh. won't say anymore on that.

So...I'm growing a goatee...it's kind of thin and pathetic now... but I guess it will make me look older? more manly ? it's different, I suppose.

I'm still obsessed with Mr. Show... Bob and David... genius. I wish they still made episodes. Isn't there any woman out there that gets it ? I mean really GETS IT? I would marry her in a heartbeat...at the Globo-Chem Dome.

other than that... I think that's all my brain has to say for now.

MONDAY...feh.

earlyentry...
Sunday, February 8, 2004 09:31 p.m.

Eh...I'm bored with the Grammys and Sex and the City is over so...thought I'd blog now.

The recap: Friday...Eunice's bday! A rainy, icky day...but still...went to Chango for a HUGE lunch.. Eunice slipped and fell on some ice... arrrgh! But that means no birthday punches from me...heh. I love that girl something fierce...

Justin had an audition for Yahoo.com... went to Endeavor studios here I auditioned for QE...but the director told him "see you soon"...which should portend good things. In any case, if he gets cast. Off to LA...and I'm definitely gonna try to go. I need to get the heck outta here. We had dinner in Chinatown and came home and watched TV.

Ended up playing music until late, late... got a bunch of cool covers ready for next show! Hungry Like the Wolf, I Ran, Boys of Summer, Send the Pain Below...and an absolute coup with my falsetto... I Believe in a Thing Called Love...by the Darkness. I am frightening.

Saturday...more music...cleaning up... and watched Lost in Translation. Ok..Scarlet Johansen's cute butt opens the movie...and by the end of it...I was swooning...don;t know what it was about her... but yowza.

Was supposed to go out for Eunice's bday...but that got postponed... and my family came over and bugged me ! HAHAH... TOmoko called and wanted me to go to Off the Wagon...but I was stuck here...oh well. SNL...Megan Mullaly is HOT...am I the only one that thinks so ? I like obnoxious, loud...funny women, I guess.

Sunday... cleaned up around the place...more practice...and TRIED to go to church...but they moved and the old building had no notice of the new location...so I just got some groceries and headed home.

On the way there...thsi guy was handing out xeroxes...kind of a poor version of when deaf people used to hand out cards with ASL letters on them...in any case..on the way home...SAME guy... he left one and I read it..."PLEASE DO NOT DISPUTE THIS LETTER" ...HUH ?

And it went on describing how he was pushed when he was a kid...had epilepsy...is now an actor and a DJ... "DJ NAME='Beatbox' "... um... ok. Amusing...and very,very odd... it's one of those odd details that you remember from a dream...something that doesn't make sense...but it's on the verge of sanity... truth is stranger than fiction...

Sex and the City: some thoughts...when Carrie and Miranda are arguing...I can totally see both sides of the argument. But I ...I'm not sure what I would do...at one point I was willing to move to North Carolina...I was willing to give up this and that...but now... my friends, my family, my music, my writing, My God... all these things mean so much to me.

So what would I do for the love of a good woman? I'm not sure... but I know that I'm willing to give up a lot of things...but not THAT.

And Sunjoo... yes...there are a lot of similarities in what is happening to you at the moment...and what I went through almost 2 years ago... but the most important thing is... YOU ARE YOU...

your experience is different... the best thing anyone can do for you now is to be supportive and to listen to your concerns. And to tell you ...that yes, things will be ok. And, yes...distance plays funny tricks on our fragile hearts. And yes, sometimes we get hurt...but sometimes it's REALLY WORTH IT.

Everything is clear in hindsight. We'll talk again in 6 months. For now... enjoy it. You are young, sassy, and oh-so-talented in many ways *winkwink... have a good time.

I'll probably blog some more tomorrow...

The dreaded week begins. WHO NEEDS A VALENTINE ?!??! feh.

I do. sniff. :(

HAHAHAHA...bite me.

I got lei-ed....*snicker
Friday, February 6, 2004 09:50 a.m.

What a jam packed day... finished up work on "Noah and the Flood" ... that was quick. Work is totally becoming Bible study...I'm doing the "Book of Ruth" next!

Lunch...went to Grand Central and met up with Doris for cubano sammich... it was fun..I love having lunch over there. The hustlebustle of the place is a little overwhelming sometimes...but it feels very "New Yorky."

Mild afternoon of doing nothing really... Kinda bored...but the highlight of the day was talking to Karla from NYU MFA program..we are going to try to start up a writer's group for alumni! Must work out the details...the sad fact that most of my writing is done HERE...and song lyrics...perturbs me to no end. I must get my arse in gear and finish that damn novel. Kick it into overdrive!

After work..met up with Gloria... I got the Darkness CD...it's BRILLIANT..and we had a few drinks at the Belmont Lounge. She's a great girl...lots of fun and doesn't take things so seriously...and she's got fire a-plenty...you can just tell.

I was explaining the whole "different friends bring different sides" out of you thing... I think she gets it.

Picked up Eunice and we went to the Tiki Room... LOTS of people were over for Sara's thing... people I knew were Doris, Stefanie, Nelly, Michelle, Ginny, Elisa...and I think that was it... Hiedy came later to meet up with Gloria and Steve...

We all got leis (HA!) and had a good time... hugging Sara and stuff...I can't believe she is moving AND getting married. She used to beat me up and kick me in the nads in elementary school and now look at her !

And friggin' Michelle Blake is moving to Germany to be with her guy...and to go to grad school...how exciting is that ? I need to get out of here too...

Anyhoo... it was a fun night...left early with Eunice cause she was feeling run down and pissed off at a certain "runt" ... we had a fun time and she was telling me how she used to think "tw_t" wasn't such a bad word when she was a kid.. HAHAH OH MAN. .... and another certain word...ahem *clues in this paragraph!

Home...beat... Abenobashi rules...

and.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE !!!! you are my rock. I love you like a fat kid loves cake.... the fat kid being me. :( hahahah! : )

WOOOO. TGIF !

PEDAL(s) to the metal!
Thursday, February 5, 2004 09:33 a.m.

African Proverbs are done....working on "Noah and the Flood" now... cool. The part when Noah's sons find him naked and drunk... that reminds me of my Dad. HAHAHHA... So between J, E, and me... which one makes fun of him...and which two cover him up...hmmmm.

Ran around during lunch getting comics and such...the new Incubus album is disappointing...maybe like 3 good songs...man...they are going downhill... "megalomaniac" is a great song though.

Went to gym after work...surprisingly it was pretty darn easy...I haven't been working out...but I guess I'm ok...ran for 20 mins. ..biked another 20...some light weights...and home.

PACKAGE DAY ! Loads of anime dvds... and my stuff from SameDayMusic came ! ALREADY ?!??! it was only a DAY ! I ordered after midnight early Tuesday morning...and I got it WEDNESDAY! only 5 bucks shipping !

So my BOSS pedals are pretty sweet...still not getting the sound I want ...but I think that's an amp and guitar issue too...but it's pro-gear... and I need it.

Abenobashi...wacky anime... loving it right now. I wish i had a cute girl to talk about anime with... that's all I really need. The imaginary girl... the magical creature...the unicorn!

Ok...broke until next pay day...Sara's going away party tonight and Eunice's bday Saturday...wooot. I need cash. :(

Ugh... one more day... one day more !

New stuff...
Wednesday, February 4, 2004 09:52 a.m.

So... stayed home...massaging my crampy leg and watched movies and worked on some music.

Underworld--pretty crappy movie...but Kate Beckinsdale...OMG...she looked so hot in all that shiny leather. My goodness.

And my folks got their new TV yesterday... FINALLY. I went over to help them set up the whole system...with speakers and all that. Looks pretty good.

Other than that...it was a quiet day...not much going on...no motivation to do much of anything right now... oh well...that's how it goes.

A bit of bad news...Lucia was diagnosed with lupus. Don't know much about it...but I do know Lucia. I hope she is ok. Pray for her. I'll hopefully get a chance to see her in March...many hugs will be given then.

At least it's Wednesday.

whoah! maybe it was an accident...
Tuesday, February 3, 2004 12:34 p.m.

Supposedly....the "red lace undergarment" was supposed to remain...

Janet does look kind of pissed and shocked in that picture...

and yow...avert your eyes...the close up pic of her "region"...reveals that it wasn't covered...more "encircled."

Check it out at your own risK:

http://www.superbowlslip.com/

serves me right...
Tuesday, February 3, 2004 11:59 a.m.

Ok... welll...I guess it serves me right. I had gotten a bunch of new DVDs...and the weather is supposed to be crap today... and I was headachey all day at work...so I was like...screw it. I'm staying home. and now...I'm really sick. I couldn't sleep last night...and then Laura calls and we talk for a bit until like 3. (we are supposed to hang out next week.) the good thing is...she's doing well...much more level headed...in anycase... I wake up screaming... MONSTER CRAMP!

Now...I'm still headachey, got the sniffles, and crampy leg. Serves me right.

Anyways... Monday recap... Slugging through work and other stuff. Got the African Proverbs mostly done. which was good.

Shipped a bunch of DVDs to an online store...so whew... I get a bunch of credit...so I won't have to spend money on DVDs for awhile. But I did cave and get American Wedding, Tomb Raider 2, and Underworld...used! So it's ok !

The whole Emily "snake lighter" thing...which amuses me to no end. *see blogentry from yesterday (I'll have to cut and paste it in when I get back to work.)

Then off to Guitar Center to check out some BOSS pedals... that place is NICE...but they are more pricey than Sam Ash...I would have to say.

Home... dvd watching... Real World/Road RUles Inferno... some good stuff...but I don't like the cast as much...and NO SARA! crap... I miss her!

Working on webpage...improved the lyrics section. And need to make up a new poster for Feb. show...

AND...I ordered a Boss Chorus Ensemble pedal and a BOSS Metal Zone pedal...this is pro stuff... pricey...but worth it... can't wait to get it... this was my bday present to myself.

Then...Laura, cramp, et al.

Anyhooo...I'm home now. I should try to do something productive. make the most of actualyl being sick.

SNAKE!
Tuesday, February 3, 2004 11:58 a.m.

Sunday... didn’t do much... really sleepy... haven’t been sleeping well..

Cleaned up ... worked on music wrote "Deal With This In the Morning" ... wow... great chords and very different structure for me...

Puttered around...listened to sermon tape...

Super Bowl... really great game... very exciting...some sloppy playing in the beginning but it got good...

And yeah...we all saw Janet’s boobie...I was pretty shocked actually. Dang! Justin!

And watched Survivor...this show is pretty good...cute girls too! Never watched it before...but I might start watching now...since Friends is ending and all...and Sex and the City... at least Sopranos is back in March!

Weird but cute... Emily got me a green Zippo with a snake on it... HAHHAHA very odd ...but I guess it’s the thought that counts? I’ll be playing with fire now... huhuhuhuh...

Other than that...it’s February. AND it’s Leap year.

But it’s also Monday. BLAAARGH.

NEW SONG !
Monday, February 2, 2004 11:59 p.m.

Hold on to your hats, kiddies...this one is a little...ahem...steamy.

"Deal With This In The Morning"

so this is how it started
we shared a drink or three
and I don’t even mind
I don’t even mind

if this is temporary
if this is just a fling
I hope you’re not unkind
I hope you’re not unkind

we give into the atmosphere
fall for the ambience
cause I want to hear your sighs
I want to hear your sighs

so we’ll deal with this in the morning
whatever this might be
a youthful indiscretion
or the start of you and me

I’m not one for kiss and tell
I believe in subtlety
but you made me realize
but you made me realize

that I could spend a thousand evenings
with the fire we had tonight
you had me burning up inside
had me burning up inside

so we’ll deal with this in the morning
I know what this could be
the beginning of our story
the start of you and me

we could give into the potential here
or just leave it to circumstance
I don’t even mind
I don’t even mind

but I want you tonight.

Feb 1st post... pitas was down.
Monday, February 2, 2004 11:44 p.m.

Well…the day was pretty quiet…just hung out at home and cleaned up and watched TV… Until my folks came over for dinner. Justin is still my baby…and when he turns 14 this year…I’ll be officially twice his age. Had lots of food and bday cheesecake. It was quiet and good.

Reflecting on the 27th year of my life…a lot has changed …and a lot hasn’t…

I’m still moody and trying to pick up the pieces after being so hurt …wow …almost a year and a half now. My life really changed after all of that. I don’t even want to go into it…but it’s all in this blog.

Am I ready to love someone again? Probably. But finding that someone…and willing to risk being hurt. That’s the part that is going to get me into trouble.

The job thing…I’m a little unhappy…and I definitely need to get paid more. But at the moment…it’s ok.

I still have faith in God…I still believe that He loves me and cares for me…but I don’t have much faith in people. We are human, we are flawed…please stop trying to pretend that you are something you are not. I would rather deal with the imperfect reality of the true you…than the hypocrisy you are trying to sell me. Get over it. We all have closets and they are packed with baggage and hurt and sin. Don’t think that you aren’t like that. I don’t..

So what are the good things? God is good to me every day, every breath. My friends, my family. Music gigs, random happy accidents, running on the treadmill, diet Dr. Pepper, ANIME, DVDs, Dance Dance Revolution, MML, vodka tonics, catfish sammiches, 92.3, books and poetry that make me go AHHH!, cowbells, metal riffs, choco cookies, hugs from cute kids, hugs from hot girls, and hugs from you.

What do I want? Fire, thunder, lightning, I want to be shaken in a good way. I want love and hope and grace and mercy and all the grand things that I want to be made tangible.

There is a lot to be done. I’m still a work in progress.

I am human and I need to be loved.

I'm 28 !
Saturday, January 31, 2004 11:09 a.m.

Well...let's briefly recap the events that transpired yesterday.

Work has been very hectic. African Proverbs have been on my brain for days. "If you cross the river in a crowd, the crocodile won't eat you." Write that down, kiddies.

Had to run errands with Emily...picking up cakes for office party. She was asking if it was ok if a girl bought a guy flowers for no reason...eh...I bet this all has to do with "he who shall not be named" ugh...I need to start liking someone... this stuff is making me puke!

In any case, she sent me an e-card and wrote "Happy birthday, you burly cowboy." You have to see the card to appreciate that."

Well, the plan was... Doris and Eunice were supposed to meet me for dinner someplace...something nice and quiet with my girls... HOWEVER...

Right before I leave Doris IMs me that something "important with K" has come up and she has to cancel on me to meet with him...OK.

I knew something was fishy... I was like DO NOT PUNK ME...so I went to St. Mark's with the notion that she would come with Eunice to meet me later and have a laugh...

My heart dropped when Eunice came by herself and said "Let's get Mc Donald's and go watch movies at your place" ...and then the insanity began...

She wanted to go shopping for jeans, underwear, comics, etc... and I was like...what is going on? Let's just get Gray's Papaya and let me go home! This is too weird!

She really got me when she started talking about "what about me? I'm hanging out with you!"

I would have fell for it...if we had definitive plans...but she kept stalling and we walked all the way west...then alllll the way back east to 1st. I was getting a littel frustrated with the kookiness so I decided to go to Kmart to get boxers and a thermos...and when Eunice said "do we have to do this right now?" I knew something was up... Under the pretense that we were going to have ONE drink at Ellen's bfriend's bar?

Anyways...get to Paprika.... adn then SURPRISE.... GAH !!!! They really got me...I knew something was fishy...but I wasn't 100 percent sure...so in the end...they got me good. Doris, Sara, Gloria, Seth, and his friend James were there for dinner... we had some good Italian food...must get more polenta and goat cheese! And LOTS of wine...I had 4 glasses!

Afterwards, we went over to Company for drinks...and I proceeded to drink with my lovely friends... we were now joined by Cindy Lee, Cindy Kahng and bfriend Pete, Elaine and her friend Chris, Shelb, and Grace! Awesome! I was very happy to see everyone...

Though, I did get yelled at alot for some reason...and I realize that my friends do know me very well in some respects...but then again...they really DON'T know me in other ways... Your friends bring out certain aspects in you...and some friends really don't see a certain side of you...and I think with me...it is very true.

I was screamspeaking with Cindy and Grace...explaining my whole deal...but they only get a certain side of me. The way I act with them and with other people is very different. It's hard to explain...I'm me 24/7...but not ALL of me. sigh...this is a whole blog entry in itself. Bottom line: I don't have a TYPE...but a lot of girls wouldn't like ME because I'm not a certain type. Does that make sense?

I'm just particularly moody and expressive and passionate abotu things that aren't necessarily typical of the Asian male...and whether my friends really understand that... it's ok...because there are many components that make me the weirdo that I am.

But the important thing is that I feel loved...well...loved in that aspect. heh.

Anyways, I was tired from the emotional rollercoaster...and we called it a night at about 1...got a slice of pizza with Doris, Eunice, and Shelb and cabbed it.

Ended up at EUnice's place ...she was going to drive me home...I ended up trying to shovel out her car with a folded up CARDBOARD BOX! I got wet and cold and the car was going nowhere. Anyways... she put me in a cab and I got home ...at about 230.

It was a very fun night and I have to say that Doris and Eunice are the heart of my heart. The evil, coniving, erratic, passive-aggressive behavior, was all worth it! I love you, honeys! It was one of the best birthdays I've ever had.

And now...I go do family stuff. I'm surprised I'm up so early. Anyways....let's try to make YEAR 28 better than the past. Can you dig it?

I knew that you could.

Happy Birthday...to me.