sick...
Saturday, December 29, 2007 01:44 a.m.

Oh man...had awesome Bon Chon chicken last night with Glo, Doris, and Eunice...always good to catch up with my girls and see them after months and months...did some shopping too...woke up this morning and just felt like crap...caught a cold somewhere.

Off and out to crappy buffet with the family and Eric and Char...then came home and napped like crazy...watched tv and cleaned up some...more of the same tomorrow and hopefully I can at least set up the music station to mix down in the next few weeks and start recording. I'm hoping to have stuff ready to go by March and have CD release by May?

Watching Everybody Loves Raymond and am I weird for thinking Patricia Heaton/Deborah is super hot? I would actually love a fiesty woman like that...and then on the other hand...super cute and clever like Kristen Bell/Veronica Mars....sigh, but a dream.

Took some Theraflu and I'm hoping I get better before work starts...no real plans for NYE...and I do not want to be stuck in a house party surrounded by couples (which sounds like what everyone else is doing)...so since my dad left for Taiwan tonight...I'm going to keep my mom company this year...

2007...crazy highs and crazy lows...but supposedly 2008 is where things begin to pay off. Let's see if that happens.

holiday delirium
Wednesday, December 26, 2007 10:10 p.m.

Hoooo boy...where did this week go?

I'm not going to even try to recap...but just go through the highlights.

Lunches at work with co-workers...fun...but I don't like the cliques. Annoying. Grow up, you babies.

I love HD--Went to the mall and swapped out my cable box for HD/DVR box...sweet. And I am getting HDDVDs left and right with all these insane sales. It's only going to be now because the studios want people to adopt the new format and the battle with BluRay...so...look out for deals.

Christmas--was in Jersey this year. All the kids went up and my folks and Oph and Nina and Tsai...but the other aunts and uncles stayed home...man, I spend way too much money on those kids.

Justin didn't get the scholarship. So, what's plan B?

Been watching the Wire...getting interesting...took me a while to get into it.

Have I been working on music at all? No. Will I? Maybe.

Why are my arse muscles sore? I haven't been running...have I been flexing my bum cheeks in my sleep for some reason? WTF?

Speaking of WTF...2 girls 1 cup... BLAAARRRFFGH!!! Oph made me watch and within 3 seconds I was screaming like a little girl...so disgusting.

Finished "Golden Compass"...starting on book two next...meh. Like it...not loving it.

Dinner with Eunice, Gloria, Doris tomorrow? Other than that...just enjoying the time off while it lasts.

Gah...too much to catch up on...Just leave it at that. Just want 2007 to be over...2008 is supposed to be my insanely awesome year. Let's begin, shall we?

too much of...everything
Wednesday, December 19, 2007 10:45 p.m.

Tuesday:
Work went well...just caught up on a bunch of things and got some stuff done. Had lunch with RW...the anime girl from upstairs. Had a good time...and then EG emailed me and wanted to meet for dinner. Oy.

Met up at Kefi and only spent like 90 minutes together. I totally flirted with her and she giggled...but it never got beyond being a friendly dinner. I can see us being friends...and truth be told...I have no idea what I want any more. If anything ever changes...fine. But I'm ok with it as it is. Can't force things.

Met up with my folks and Justin in Rockefeller Center. Saw the tree with the new LED lights and then the Penny Harvest thing with like a BILLION pennies...insane. Wandered around and went to Michael Jordan's for awesome second dinner...burgers are better than steak!

Mom had to have another minor surgery thing in her other eye...and the previous surgery is still taking time to heal...she's been out of work for going on three weeks now...

Justin might be getting a full scholarship...but he's a little unsure if he wants to go...but wow...a full ride? And most students study abroad there...he's gotta go.

Wednesday:
Not much else but work...heard about my bonus which might be around 5K which is totally reasonable...I'm hoping to double or better that next year. Got comics...extremely tired...just want to finish out the week already.

The thing that made my day...Wizard article about that "Fanboys" movie...and there is a photo of Kristen Bell in the Slave Leia outfit...WOW. Just...so cute.

Not much else...meh.

philly is kind of a dump.
Monday, December 17, 2007 10:29 p.m.

Ugh...I am so glad I am back in NY. Just have to get through 4 more days of work. Closing up shop and then a well deserved break.

Saturday: GK came back around noon and we had some coffee before I got my ride to the wedding. GK told me something that happened to her that was kind of shocking...but she seems ok...arrgh. Makes me mad and feeling helpless.

Anyways, FK came and drove me to the wedding. Christin looked lovely...but the ceremony was one of the worst. The pastor couldn't even remember her name until someone told him halfway through...and the special song that was "written" by one of the guests was obviously ripping off "I Turn to You"...but with Christian...and Korean lyrics. Ugh.

And...ran into GC from back in the day...same old frantic and loud girl I remembered...she was like "I was expecting you to be an established writer"...so did I let her down? Met her husband who apparently heard that I was a Superchunk fan...so strange.

And I thought I saw E there...my heart was pounding...but it was just someone that really looked like her...as in...REALLY.

Saw a few people from back in the day...which was a good and bad thing...a few douchebags I have to admit...and some good ones...but all in all ...I just felt out of place. AND...they overbooked and there was no seat for me at my table. Great.

The super-religious wedding, a dry wedding, all the Korean, the rush of the timing, the past bugging me, being there without someone by my side, seeing GC again, the Noreaster looming, the whole atmosphere....but I was there for my friend. And then I left before the food...but it didn't really matter.

I was feeling very strange and panicky...and I just couldn't figure out what exactly bothered me the most...but it was just everything stacked up on top of another. Being stressed out at work, and being alone, and feeling the holiday rush...it was everything.

I...I think I'm kind of burnt out.

Came back and got a cheesesteak. Ate and passed out on the couch. GK came back and we went for drinks with her Penn friends. Met a few people...her best friend Sarah was cool...and just had a few drinks and tried to forget everything...it was a good distraction, but not enough.

Left early the next morning and was surprised at how many homeless people there are...took a few hours to get home. But I was back. Watched dvds, ate, napped...and that was that.

Monday off. Cleaned up...got a table and some chairs from my uncle, watched 24, ran errands with my folks, Justin...and did some Costco and Christmas shopping...and just tried to chill out a bit...4 more days of work...and then I can just relax a bit. Ugh. Need to decompress really really badly. I'm not handling things well at the moment and that is really bugging me.

A lot of other things on my mind. My mom's eye, Justin going to college and the scholarship or who knows what, my bothersome rash I've had since July, the whole girl thing (can I hang out with her as just friends?), the job stuff, seeing CCW, GC, and someone that looked like E...wow...no wonder I'm a mess.

Breathe, kid....breathe.

Lord, help me through this. Minor troubles...let's hope and pray things get resolved soon.

what a week.
Saturday, December 15, 2007 12:32 a.m.

Wow...Where do I even begin? I'm so tired and so much has happenend...Launch went pretty well...both my books went over decently and I got a lot of compliments on my presentations...so hopefully the books will be successful.

Offered up some nerd advice for some of our licensed books and it was appreciated. Then went to holiday party. Had a good time and almost got hazed. Some people got trashed and I left early before anything really embarassing happened.

Went to see my mom and got some random stuff done. Then...here I am in Philly.

Went to MSG to meet up with SS since she was coming to Philly to see her bfriend. Went early to get tickets...and talked to Josh a bit. Went to Duane Reade...and then it happened.

Ran into CCW...wow. She acted like nothing happened..."hey...what are you doing here?" and made some random chit chat. I was pretty pimp and wasn't too cold or hot towards her...but a little chilly. And yeah...she kinda had crazy eyes and well...I'm over it. Done.

Met up with SS and had a good chat. Got into Philly around 5 and met up with Romana...hung out and picked up her friend J and went to restaurant to meet with Cliff.

Had some good food and beer...and then talked...turns out J is "queer"...but not necessarily gay? hahahah sounds just like my type!

Back now in G's apartment which is really, REALLY nice. WOw...getting ready for tomorrow and wedding. Sigh...she's got a bed and a tiny couch. When she gets back tomorrow...how are we going to work this out?

A little stressed about wedding tomorrow...seeing all these people and the whole weird wedding thing...hope it is fun and chill. Urrgh. I just want to go home and watch tv...but it's good to get away.

Nice place to visit...wouldn't want to live here.

Hot Rod Circuit--farewell!
Monday, December 10, 2007 09:11 p.m.

Sunday: Met up with LY and we went to Oliver's for food and drinks...then off to Knitting Room for HRC. POURING rain...and the opening band Crime in Stereo...pretty good hardcore. Crazy crowd.

HRC were awesome. Not the exact setlist...but very close. I screamed my brains out...last time I might be hearing some of these songs live. They are one of my "break-up/heartache bands"...for some reason the timing always works well...since they are going to breakup...does that mean no more heartache for me?

Setlist: very best friend/ weak warm/ irish car bomb/ slacker/ radio song/ supersad/ power of the vitamins/ this is not the time or place/ flight 89/ you kill me/ pharmacist/ at nature's mercy/ let's go home/ safely/ consumed by laziness/ the best you ever knew / stateside/ what we believe in/ u.s. royalty/ 45s/ ventricle/ vampire

Awesome part was at the end I went over to shake Andy's hand and he saw me coming and reached over...I was way up front at Bamboozle and if he ever saw a big Asian kid at any show...he'd remember.

Monday: work was work. Getting a bunch of stuff ready for launch tomorrow...so I am going to bed superearly because I have to get in before 9 and be ready. Going to be cool...just keep my head and get through it. Oh...and holiday party tomorrow.

I bought so much stuff lately. And I need to get Christmas present too! I hope my bonus is decent. Ack.

Eric and Char are on the verge of buying a house. WHOAH.

Man, I gotta get a move on and get me a girl. Oy.

work!
Thursday, December 6, 2007 10:47 p.m.

Oh my... crazy busy day that just went on and on with emails, phone calls, meetings...but lots of good stuff. Even getting some forms filled out and ready to go wasn't so bad actually.

Some animeloving girl got introduced to me. She works all the way on 5...did she just come down to say hi? Strange.

Got comics. Came home. Ate. TV...pretty much all.

Twinge in my back...ow.

Friday already? Just have to hold out for two more weeks or so...

snowy snow snow
Wednesday, December 5, 2007 10:08 p.m.

More mommy watching. Got food for her and brought it over. Ate lunch did some work, ran out in the snow and got a quick haircut. Pretty much it.

Work work work...I am so glad I am busy...or I'd be miserable and sad and stressed out right now. Personal stuff...work stuff...stress is good sometimes.

Christmas presents? just for the kids this year...I just don't have time to really think of anything else for others at the moment...maybe last minute? Who knows.

Back to the office for lots of meetings tomorrow...lots to do...let's finish strong. Next week is gonna be a doooozy.

ANTM: Jenah or Chantal...please.
Kid Nation: smart, cute, who gets the big gold stars at the end? Was I that adorable and brilliant back then? hmmm...I'd like to think so.

Mommy watching.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007 12:59 a.m.

Got up and out...went to Best Buy and bought a ton of dvds and some halal food for my mom. Came home and had lunch with her and she was watching a Kathy Griffin marathon...and loving it. Weird thing is...Kathy Griffin had major eye surgery not too long ago...strange.

Anyways, got some work done and took my mom to the doctor when my dad got home early. Surgery went well...but more on Friday when she goes back in. So far things are ok...and her other eye is fine. She's just swollen and squinty...and will have to sleep on her side...but otherwise, it's just a matter of time and healing.

Watched BSG: Razor and LOVED it...I don't know what BSG fans think...but it was soooo worth the wait! I cannot wait for Season 4 now.

Can they do some kind of Office and BSG thing? I think it would such a great idea for like Dwight to win some BSG thing and have the cast come to the office or something...hilarity ensues.

Gave Justin a haircut. Came home...did some more work. Not much else. Tired.

More mommy watching tomorrow. Getting her food and cleaning up after her...and more tv. Sleepy. urrgh.

Monday, Monday
Tuesday, December 4, 2007 12:00 a.m.

Feeling weird all day because I was worried about my mom. Got some stuff done at work...forms and emails, etc...

Came home and got some snacks for my mom...she's so funny. Has on these dark sunglasses and she taped on one of the lenses from her old glasses over the lens on her good eye. She can't really see and couldn't find the remote all day (it was between the seats of the couch) and she was watching one station all day. Poor mommy.

Justin and I made dinner. Tried to wrap wontons and did a poor job...but then I made this stirfry udon thing...but the meat was marinated already...and I re-marinated it...ugh...salty.

Anyways, working from home the next two days. My mom wants a gyro...so I'll go to Best Buy and get some new movies for her and food tomorrow morning.

Lots to do for work...oy. Exciting but stressful.

Other news...EG wants to hang out after her final. Are girls crazy enough that they would test a guy to see if his intentions are real? Did she say she "just wanted to be friends" to slow things down...or does she really want to be "friends"? In any case, I'll hang out with her and just enjoy her company...even if it makes me sad that we won't make out (...or will we)?

LY is gonna go see Hot Rod Circuit with me on Sunday...should be fun...and she wants me to go out and meet her single friends...who are no doubt all nuts...oh, well. Better than nothing.

Planning Philly trip...more stress. How the heck am I going to get to the wedding if it's half an hour from where I am staying? Oh, jeez.

Sleeping in, Best Buy/gyro-ing, working...that's the plan.

Positive thinking...things will be ok.

insane week
Sunday, December 2, 2007 07:02 p.m.

Not sure where I left off...so I'll just rundown some highlights of the rest of the week.

Wednesday:
Paramore/Starting Line- pretty awesome show. Hayley is an amazing frontwoman. Had a good time with L...had dinner at diner before with singing waiters/waitresses...odd. Good show. Leave it at that.

Thursday:
Went to Phil's bday celebration at Cooper Union with KB. Lots of famous writer's read Phil's stuff and it was PACKED. Spoke with the new director (she opened the reading by reciting an excerpt from a letter I wrote about Phil...she only read two...and mine was the first) and saw our old director. Gave Phil a hug. Wow...he's really made a huge impact.

Went to ChatNChew with KB...had a great time with her. She cracks me up and has a great way with words. So much fun. She even saw a banana peel and ran over to see if she would slip on it...Twice. These two guys looked so puzzled...and I told them that we didn't have a drop to drink.

Overall...work was very hectic. Preparing two presentations for our launch meetings in two weeks. Getting things taken care of...and ready to go. Lots of other things at work. Leave it at that.

Then got some bad news...Friday morning my mom went to get emergency surgery for a retinal detachment...this was really scary...I had no idea since no one called or emailed me at my work address...so it really bugged me that I didn't know until after the fact. I came home and went to see her. She had an eyepatch on and had to lie face down for this gas bubble treatment. Supposed to be a 90% success rate if they caught it in time.

Saturday she went in for a check-up and it looks good. She has to tilt her head at a 45 degree angle for awhile...and she has to wear dark sunglasses...more stuff on Tuesday. Ugh.

I might be at risk for this since the last eye exam I had they said they saw something...and it is hereditary...should get my eyes checked out soon.

Other than that...going to go into work tomorrow and bring some stuff home to work on. Just want to be around if my mom needs anything while she heals. My poor mommy.

Keep her in your prayers please...crazy week.

:(
Tuesday, November 27, 2007 10:23 p.m.

She called and said she "just wanted to be friends"...ow.

Whether or not that is going to happen...well, we'll see if we keep in touch.

That's all I have to say about that.

potential bad news?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007 08:59 p.m.

So, I emailed EG to see when she would be free next...and she replied "Give me a call. I want to talk to you." and then she called me on my cell when I was on my office phone...oh no.

I don't want to jump to conclusions...but it just feels like this is one of those cases where she doesn't have time to see me, or she doesn't feel anything, or she's seeing someone else...any or all of those paranoid thoughts could be true.

I called and ended up leaving a voice mail. It's 9:00 and she hasn't called back...so I'm not sure what that was about or if I'm going to hear from her...but I don't think it's going to be good news.

In any case...if it really is what I suspect. I give up. That's it for me for 2007. I'm officially going into hibernation until the new year. I can't do this any more.

I barely know this girl...but the time we did spend was great. I was just beginning to be hopeful again...some beautiful, smart, witty girl could be interested in me...and here I am again.

Did I push too hard? Am I a victim of bad timing? Am I just not interesting enough? Who knows...all I know is that I feel like crap already...and the waiting...I don't know if that is worse.

I just want someone to hang out with that thinks I'm cool. Making out once in a while would be awesome. But apparently, I'm not going to get this.

Ok...despite EMO problems...work was pretty good today. Closing on several projects. A lot of progress and getting in touch with companies and following up. All that went great...but the rest. Ugh.

Paramore tomorrow with LY...should be a nice distraction...but then again...don't I just want to know for sure?

For once...I'd really like to be wrong.

Back to work...
Monday, November 26, 2007 10:31 p.m.

Saturday:
Met up with Seth and Katie and had wine, cheese, dessert...and turns out my gorgeous prom date from back when has been "playing for the other team" since college. WOW. I have such a track record! I cannot believe it. In any case...had a good time catching up with them...despite finding out the news.

Had dinner with family at awesome Chinese restaurant in the neighborhood that I have never been to before...wow...so weird that we never were there.

Sunday:
More family stuff...watched more Kubrick stuff...pretty much it all day.

Monday:
Work...more calls and emails. Deals are lying up...but frustrating that contracts are still unsigned...but getting closer and closer. Came home...worked out...actually worked on some music. Can't wait to clear out the hard drive and get recording again.

Why won't anyone go to concert with me on Wednesday??? Come on!!! Someone...it will be fun. :(

Sigh...I just want Christmas break to roll around...I have so much I want to do...but I'll have to wait to get to it. Bleh.

Still waiting for the girl to get back to me...I'm so paranoid...but can you blame me? Prepare for the worst...hope for the best...is that wrong?

Good things...come on.

Thanksgiving
Saturday, November 24, 2007 12:26 a.m.

Wednesday:
Half day of work...got a lot done and got comics and dvds...finally got "Apocalypto". Came home and Eric and Char came over. We just pigged out and Shelb, jack, angela stopped by...some Guitar Hero and that was pretty much it.

Thursday:
Did not cook a thing this year! First time in like 8 years that I did not lift a finger. Went home...family, friends stopped by. Kids...ate a ton watched tv...took a nap...pretty much it. Thankful, yes. So much happened this year...and so much great stuff that just covered over the crap. I want this to be the trend from now on. Thank the Lord...we breathe, we live, we change.

Friday:
BK with Eric, Char, Justin...went to Forest Hills...got some more dvds...came home...E & C went to Jersey...Justin went to the mall...and I watched a ton of tv...been watching Kubrick documentaries lately on Clockwork Orange, 2001, Shining...watched Evan Almighty (eh) and Apocalypto (awesome), and Spidey 3 with commentary....oh...and EG emailed me this morning...sigh...in my overenthusiasm...I emailed her back and texted her. What an idiot. Sigh. What am I doing? In any case...I just hope this goes somewhere. I don't want to see anyone else...I don't care what people say. I'm willing to wait this out...see if it works. I really hope it does. I like her. She's smart, sane, gorgeous, funny, quirky...gosh.

Going to meet up with some HS friends tomorrow...one I went to college with also...and then family dinner thing. Oy...fun stuff...and I also have Sunday too. wooo. Loving this long weekend business...but man, next 3-4 weeks are gonna be nuts. Get some rest then the final push...before the end of the year.

More Kubrick...some Seinfeld maybe...then sleep.

workies
Tuesday, November 20, 2007 09:47 p.m.

Yeah...just a ton of stuff. Not much to update. Just a lot of facts and figures, writing and sending pitches, phone calls, etc...some promising things...but we need to see where they will go. I have my hand in a lot of honey pots.

Speaking of which....I really need to let go of this whole EG thing...whether or not she writes or calls or if we see each other again...(which I am hoping is the case)...I know I am a thoughtful, sweet, decent guy...and someone out there deserves me. I'm not going to change who I am...If I "scare" someone away because I'm open and I don't play games...well...eff 'em. I've never conformed...and I never will.

Not much else...just really tired. I am very much looking forward to sleeping lots this coming weekend. Oy.

Did write a nice thing for my mentor's 80th bday celebration thing. I wonder if NYU is going to use it? The director wrote me and thought it was beautiful...I thought it was pretty witty and funny. I'm dang good at speeches and what not...hmmm.

Half day tomorrow. WOOOOT!!!

work etc...
Monday, November 19, 2007 10:01 p.m.

Yeah...I emailed her this morning. And she emailed back. Seems like we are on for a third date after Thanksgiving...but she said "we'll be in touch" again...I'm just going to assume that this is a very neutral statement that does not hold any weight really either way.

Work...just a ton of stuff...and went over pricing and getting closer and closer to things that seem like they are going to come to a head soon. I'm hoping that this stuff I've been working on for months pans out.

Had lunch with UK pub and it was good. We talked about work and some personal stuff. Very friendly and looks like we will have a great working relationship soon.

Left and went to get some dvds and then home to pig out with ma and Tzo...some texts and phone calls. Just so much happening. Hard to keep up. I cannot believe it is almost Thanksgiving...and then...wham...Christmas and New Years. Crazy, crazy.

Lots to do tomorrow and much to plan for the upcoming weeks. Whoah...it's gonna be a doozy.

must stop overanalyzing!!
Sunday, November 18, 2007 08:50 p.m.

Ok...let's just get down to the date on Satuday:

Met up with EG on the Upper East side and we went to F&O. She looked great, but she had a long night with her friend and morning class stuff so she was tired. Kiss on the cheek was more than enough. We had a decent lunch and chatted a bit. It was going ok...but when we left, I offered her my arm...but she said she was ok...ugh. Not sure if that means anything. (See, my stupid brain)...then we got some hot choco and went to the Whitney.

Hung out for a little and then went inside...but only stayed there for maybe half an hour because she was tired. But she wanted to walk all the way home? We crossed the park and walked all the way uptown. Had a chat and then she left me at the subway station. Gave me a quick peck on the lips and said "we'd be in touch"...I could look at that in so many ways.

We talked the whole day like we'd be making plans for what to do next time...and she did apologize for being so tired...but am I crazy to think that this isn't going to go beyond this? There really was not much indication if this second date was great or terrible...but it was just ok...I knew it could not match up to how things were the first time...but it felt like a step back.

I know that she said she isn't the most demonstrative person and I know that she wanted to take things slow...but it is also possible...that this is all I get. I really don't know how to read this until I hear from her again. And it is going to bug me to no end.

I'm hoping that it was just her long week that kind of made things feel a little weird. She did make time to see me for a bit, she could have cancelled if she was so tired. She did kiss me when we left...but that "we'll be in touch" thing...ugh...I said that to some one and it meant "nah."...I'm just and idiot.

Not much else to talk about. I just feel yucky and weird. I just want to know if this is going to continue, because I think she is really interesting and attractive...but I need a little positive feedback here.

I'm tired. I'm being a girl. I have work stress brewing in the back of my mind too.

Ugh. 2 and a half days to go...let's just get to the long weekend.

Friday
Saturday, November 17, 2007 12:02 a.m.

Rough day...ugh...just felt so tired and weird. My mind is just not in the right head space. Why am I psyching myself out? Thoughts of how things went bad in the past...just polluting my head all day. I need to breathe and just let it go. It's not a big deal. Things are going to go well...and if they don't...it wasn't meant to be.

Why am I such a girl?

Anyways, work...blah...some emails, phone calls, some updates, lots of things gearing up and getting ready to go. Psyched to get things ramped up...but it's going to be hard to manage all of it.

Home...caught up with DVR stuff, worked out, cleaned a little, got my outfit ready for tomorrow. Gosh, I hope things go well. I gotta get some good rest tonight.

I want it to work out so bad...but I am terrified that it will...and terrified that it won't. I need to get a grip.

So, the plan...get up, walk the dog, shower, get cash, head on over. Meet her at 1:45. Brunch, museum, surprises...let's hope for the best.

I need something good. I need something beautiful. I need something real.

world's collide
Friday, November 16, 2007 01:00 a.m.

Pretty good day at work. More running around, email follow-ups, phone calls, packages, etc... busy day. Tired.

Had lunch with EF...she is very fun and cool. Had a good time chatting and seeing what's going on in her life.

Went for drinks with my old MMH co-workers, Jon, Josh, Sara...and then Glo and her friend Sandy (and her friend Ella) and Sara's friend Christina came to join us. I love the fact that we can share friends and all get along. Had a good time talking to everyone...went to Belgian Bar and then Ear Inn for food...long time out!

Funny thing was that C works at a company that I was talking to and in the same department as my contact! So funny...and her roommate works at TL! Weird.

I think G's friend might have hit it off with my friend...will find out tomorrow what's up.

And Glo looked really hot. Big hoop earrings (one of my weaknesses) and stripey black and white shirt. Supercute. Always good to see her.

And talked about the whole CCW thing from waaay back. Josh managed to get my DVDs back from her...and I told S kind of what happened.....and it was agreed upon that it was a shitty thing to do...and CCW might have a problem. Whatever. I feel sorry for her if she has such trouble being honest and open. I'm done.

I am still overanalyzing the prospects of EG on Saturday...and well, I just have to be myself and let it go. She's either going to like me or not. And I hope things work out...but if they don't ...I'll keep trying until it does. But goodness...I am so tired of this up and down. I cannot wait for a real chance at happiness and stability and just...having someone think I am adorable and cool.

Wish I had a little more bro time with the guys...but we'll catch up later. Met some cool new people...and hung out with the old crew. Worlds collide and it's all good.

Tired. Happy. Friends are awesome.

TGIF. Good things abound. I am thankful and grateful.

big meeting
Wednesday, November 14, 2007 10:53 p.m.

Got to work late...was up until 3 prepping for meeting and was too wound up from VH and...EG to just pass out. Anyways...sick passenger on train made me even later. Got in, phone calls, emails...and then I was out again.

Picked up some comics and then strolled a bit until meeting time. MP was great and we had a good talk. Meeting at 3 and met with three people from different departments. I gave my pitch and fielded all of their questions...and now I'm up to pricing...I need to get them a quote...and then bam...just like that we are in business.

Basically, the meeting went great and this could be the first of many huge deals. Wow.

Home. Had fried chicken with mom...Justin was sleeping. Worried about college stuff. I wonder where he will go...and if I should move there to keep an eye on him. :P

Again...highlight of my day is email from EG...gosh, this seems to be going so well. We set up a time and place for Saturday...and I made reservations. It will be great. I cannot wait to see her. I hope she has stirrings of the same.

Man, I sound like such an idiot. Please, please, please...let me get what I want this time.

Follow-ups, phone calls, and more of the same tomorrow.

Van Halen!!!!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007 12:19 p.m.

Work was good. Lots of progress on some possible deals. Just a busy day that flew by after all was said and done.

Went to Van Halen...the corporate box! Really nice...like a hotel room with 2 rows of seats, food, dessert, drinks. Awesome. MP had a great time and we had a lot of laughs. Just kicked back and enjoyed the VH. Got t-shirts and gorged on food. Talked business and she gave me some pointers on how to approach the ladies at the meeting today. Box was a bit far...but we could still see everything...the other company people were friendly but left early. This one heavyset lady in the box over was kidding around like she was going to jump. Not funny.

Best moments of the show were obviously Diamond Dave's antics--kung-fu, top hats, whipping the mic stand, etc...awesome. And him hugging Eddie? Priceless. Best songs were my faves--Panama, Hot for Teacher, Unchained, Ain't Talkin' Bout Love(I thought I would pass out...so good), Jump...and Eddie was in top notch shape..Eruption!!! Those dudes all look great for guys almost in their 60s!

Setlist:
01. You Really Got Me 02. I'm the One 03. Runnin' With the Devil 04. Romeo Delight 05. Somebody Get Me a Doctor 06. Beautiful Girls 07. Dance the Night Away 08. Atomic Punk 09. Everybody Wants Some 10. So This Is Love? 11. Mean Street 12. Pretty Woman 13. Drum Solo 14. Unchained 15. I'll Wait 16. And the Cradle Will Rock 17. Hot for Teacher 18. Little Dreamer 19. Little Guitars 20. Jamie's Cryin' 21. Ice Cream Man 22. Panama 23. Guitar Solo 24. Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love ENCORE: 25. 1984 26. Jump (unofficial)

Walked with Michele to get her keys etc...and then the best part. EG...she texted me that she got the care package I sent her...and she was soooo thrilled. Longest text message I ever got...and it was like a little essay. Been emailing back and forth...and it seems like we are on the same page. Taking it slow...but hopeful.

Saturday date is set...and all signs are good. She is incredibly busy, but she made time to see me before going home to see her mom (who is sick...)...so things are going well so far.

I am so scared to be hopeful...but I want to feel this and enjoy it. The prospects of a smart, funny, beautiful girl who would want to be with me...goodness. I am thrilled.

Ok...big meeting. MP will be there for moral support...and she basically told me to flirt my way through the meeting. I'll go get 'em...could be a huge sale. Please help me through this, Lord! I want to do well.

Getting ready to go.

Monday Mayhem (but good!)
Monday, November 12, 2007 11:10 p.m.

Dang...just nuts the moment I stepped in the door...but in a good way.

Sent out my little "study care package" to EG...and she emailed me about her weekend and how she thought I was a "such a sweetheart" for sending her a little something. Ok...no more stuff. Just did it because she said it was going to be a tough week and she was getting a little sick. I'm hoping she's the type that wants to be spoiled...but...who knows. In any case, I hope to see her Friday or Saturday. Ugh...I am stressed.

Took a bunch of calls about upcoming projects and trying to work out timelines and how things would be scheduled. Seems like it could work for the dog books...then got cracking on a bunch of follow-ups and sample boxes sent out to people.

Lunch and then took a call from the cellphone company...ended up being like an hour! But it definitely sounds like something that could be done. Could be a good deal if we get the right numbers.

Real estate project seems like a go...meeting on Weds. will let me know for sure...but tomorrow...gonna rock out to Van Halen with my contact that got me the meeting. Will be awesome!!!!

Anyone want to go see Iron Maiden with me in March??? COME ON!!!!!

Have not seen Doris in months. Ugh...teaching is serious business...and busy-ness.

Home...went to dinner with my aunt, Oph, and Nina for her bday. Went to diner and Coldstone. Had a good time. Another of my babies is grown! She's 25 now! Wow...so adorable. "I love my Nina" ...Chris used to sing that all the time. Came home and worked out...even ran for 15 minutes...now I'm all pumped and I did some work...dang, I am committed to this job!

Mom is bribing Justin with a new car if he gets this scholarship for a school in rural PA...I hope he just gets to go somewhere good and learns something. My baby. I can't believe it.

Work and VH tomorrow...wondering where to take EG for second date...hmmm...any ideas?

Um...so I've made out on A LOT of first dates. Is this not normal? Am I a complete and utter tramp? I thought lots of people did this?!?!?

Anyways...keeping my fingers crossed and hoping I can look really good by the weekend. Gah. Must stop eating and must workout...dang it.

Tuesday...here I come.

weekend...
Sunday, November 11, 2007 10:26 p.m.

Wow...I did not do much this weekend...I cleaned up, did laundry, worked out, read comics, watched dvds...and that was it really.

Hung out with my family a bit...but that really was it. Relaxing, but not really productive. In fact, I can't wait to get in to work because I have so much stuff I have to do this week. Yikes...seriously...really crazy busy.

And as for EG...I'm hoping I hear from her tomorrow. I don't want this to fade away and I want to build on the momentum...we'll see how it goes. Too much thinking is bad.

Phone calls, Van Halen, client meeting, and just coming to the close of a crazy time here...this week cannot go by fast enough. Hope it's a good one.

insanely productive...
Saturday, November 10, 2007 02:06 a.m.

Wow...I had phone calls and meetings with a major video game project, a cell phone company, a cookie company, an ice cream company, a tv company... and set up meetings and calls for more too...just insane.

Traded a few emails with the current crush (gosh, she's cute. I'd say she is a cross between Kristin Davis and Colbie Smulders...if that makes any sense?)...and it was cute. I am trying very hard not to go overboard...but I have to admit...I love stuff like this. I just want someone to spoil and someone who likes to be spoiled...sheesh.

Had Indian for lunch, Vietnamese for dinner...saw my mom, my aunt, Justin, and Nina for a bit..talked to my family and came home to clean and catch up on DVR-ness.

Need to sleep and clean this weekend...cleaning relaxes me and I have been equally excited and stressed this weekend...so...I'm hoping I will get myself all tuckered out.

Getting a bit tired now actually...but things are good. Trying to think positively and not go too gung-ho on anything...work included. Things will turn out for the best. I can feel it.

the day after...
Thursday, November 8, 2007 11:45 p.m.

And yes...I was riding a high all morning...I did write her a nice email...she did ask me to...I hope it wasn't too much...knowing me...it probably was. In any case...hopefully she will write back soon...because the anticipation is awful.

Work was just bonkers...training, boxes, calls, emails, the whole kit and kaboodle.

Got comics with JZ since her bfriend was sick and he wanted some..nice.

After work went to drinks for coworker who is moving to London. Had a good time and just had a few drinks and laughs. Went to dinner with MT...and honestly...I cannot change her. There is no way I can ever coax the negativity out of her. It's sad. But that's the way she is...

And you know me and my phases. I go through rough patches...but I bounce back...I would just like to ride the good times out a little longer. I've had such crumby luck...and I want to be Fortune's favorite son for a bit.

I am just flat out exhausted...work and EG on my mind...and I need to weekend to recover and just plan the next few weeks...should be crazy busy...meetings are set up ...and it looks good.

TGIF, kids. TGIF.

AWESOME date...
Thursday, November 8, 2007 12:17 a.m.

Ok...let's just skip all the work stuff. Only thing of note is that I had lunch with SH.

Date with EG--Ok...we went to my fave local hangout...and right off the bat we had chemistry. We had a hard time ordering because we just kept talking...and there was just so much we had in common...not because of what we liked...but what we were like.

We both are the oldest, she has a baby half-brother who is 13 years younger, we both have differing groups of friends, we both tend to take care of people but want to be taken care of, both are highly motivated and value that, place a lot of weight in art and artistic endeavors...and lots of weird little things.

My fave movie--Army of Darkness...she just saw it and loved it recently. Her sister went to...Tufts. And EG...dated a former acapella guy. She's from the town right next to Joyce and Adam...she loves concerts and new music....etc...etc...

Other notables--a lot on trust and being open, a lot of wanting to be ourselves and not trying to be cool, being open and sweet...she likes to be pursued and wooed...and I LOVE and am great at doing that...

Ok getting ahead. We shared a bottle of wine and some snacks...then we left and went to this hidden cocktail bar where we found a cozy corner...candelit...and private. I knew things were ready to go...because she crossed her legs and her leg was pressed against mine. Her body language was perfect. She touched my arm, then took my hand, then I just took hers and held it...etc.

She asked me how things were going. And I joked saying she was much better looking in real life (false advertising), wittier, intelligent and gorgeous. She blushed. (She did lose an earring...because I was playing with her hair...but I used my cell phone and played hero and helped her find it.)I asked her if I could kiss her...and she was like "Don't have to ask...just do it...but later!"

We talked like another 5 minutes...then I was babbling about something cute that I cannot for the life of me remember...she lowered her head and I took her by the chin....

And we totally made out.

It was very sweet. We made out all night after that...went outside to take a walk. Made out. Gave her a Blow Pop from Halloween...she gave me some "sugar"...sat in Starbucks...made out. Held my arm and my hand...walked outside...nice and brisk...and made out some more. She normally doesn't smoke...but my goodness...she looked insanely sexy when she did.

She has midterms/finals so she has a ton of stuff she has to do...but dinner and museum next week. She'll try to get it all done...and in the meantime would like me to pursue and charm her...wooing commences.

Ok...I am a bit jaded and cynical...but I had a great time and I hope that this continues. She appreciated my "heart on my sleeve"...she thought I was adorable and sweet ...and the sweater vest made me look cute...and yeah...she was pretty gorgeous herself.

Not going to go bonkers...but it was great. I can still smell her perfume. I can still taste the faint hint of grape candy on my lips. If anything, I had a few hours of hope and happiness...and I want more.

Fingers crossed. Good things to come.

*Update*--She just texted me goodnight. Won't give details...but it's a good sign. I have an idiotic grin on my face right now. Sigh.

Whoah...where did this day go?
Wednesday, November 7, 2007 12:03 a.m.

Seriously....this day just went by so fast. So much stuff to catch up on and take care of at work...and my to do list just never ends. ugh. Lots of important calls this week and other contact stuff I have to take care of. Meetings are getting annoying.

Not much else at work...went to get Rataouille at Target and watched it when I got home. Loved it. Also got Carnavale Seasons 1 and 2 for 20 bucks each...that is INSANE.

Emails and other stuff...stressing me out how much I have to type and call every day. The rash I had is back. I'm beginning to think it is hives or stress related.

I did frame my Morrissey posters, tickets, and piece of shirt today...looks pretty cool.

And yes...date tomorrow. She sounds too good to be true. Smart, funny, creative, gorgeous...gaaaah. I want it to go well...but dang it...with my track record...I'm just expecting things to go badly. I want to be all confident and ready to wow her...but who knows. Well, low expectations might be for the best. I just want something to work out for me for once. Come on!

Ok...long day tomorrow...and hopefully a long night. We'll see. Wish me good vibes. I can't lose all the time, right?

of all the places...
Monday, November 5, 2007 07:26 p.m.

Sunday: Not much happening...went to eat with the folks and got some dvds. Went to bed early...pretty much all. The days feel so much longer now...and I get tired so easily. Dang changing seasons.

Monday: Went to the trade show at the Hilton and worked the floor...made some connections...but the weirdest thing...ran into an old friend of mine that I have been trying to track down for years! Went to Tufts and NYU together...and we finally run into each other at this random trade show. She's in marketing now...a CEO of her own company...how insane is that?!?!?

And ran into family friend working the show also...so bizarre... in any case...not sure if any of the connections I made are going to pan out...but I have like 20 plus business cards to work through and see if any are worth following up on. But I got a bunch of useless crap that Justin will like. He loves shwag...I used to.

All that schmoozing and walking around...I'm exhausted. So much work I have to get done tomorrow...samples and phone calls. I am looking forward to a long break soon. Oy.

Pretty much it so far...what a random day. Long week ahead...but date on Wednesday...so something to look forward to. We'll see what's what.

Past few days...
Saturday, November 3, 2007 08:28 p.m.

October is archived! Wow...how long have I kept this blog???

Thursday: A bit of a minor fiasco. One of three potential clients (and friends) cancelled on dinner at Prune...so I didn't want to let our reservation for 4 go to waste. I was going to take one of my co-workers...I told them to keep it quiet since it wasn't 100% kosher...but dang it...those idiots talk. So...in the end I didn't take anyone...and it was good I didn't because some confidential business stuff was discussed.

In any case...Prune was awesome. The bone marrow, the buttery artichokes, the best lamb chop I ever had in my life, and an awesome choco cake...and business plans. Just great. And the fact that I got to see Cindy (who gets younger and cuter everytime I see her) just made the night great. I ended up waiting with MP at the Hilton to get her in a cab...and we had a good talk. I'll actually be there on Monday and maybe Tuesday for a trade show...strange.

Friday--Went to Olive Tree with bunch of coworkers (things blew over and I chilled out about it) ...and it was weird because I went there like 10 years ago with S...the burger there was awful and thus ended my awesome burger streak.

Bunch of crazy work stuff happened...3 major deals came about all of a sudden...one with an awesome TV property, one with a video game thing, and one with someone I contacted a loooong time ago that never would have amounted to anything...oh, and another idea that could be huge...yeesh. That's a lot.

Met up with Elaine, Barry, their friend Tom, Joyce, and Adam for awesome food at Kefi in the UWS ...got drinks afterwards too at some weird bar/lounge with a very mixed crowd. I thought Elaine and Joyce would hit it off great...and the same with the guys...and they totally did. I'm a great couples matchmaker apparently.

Saturday: Cleaned up, DVR catching up, watched "Blades of Glory"..which I liked a lot more than I thought I would, and getting ready for the trade show...but I still cannot sleep in for some reason. So bizarre.

So...been emailing this girl for a week or so...meeting her on Wednesday...don't want to get my hopes up...but she seems great...from her pics...just gorgeous. Works/studies in art related field, is tall, is intelligent...all seems great...but sigh...you know how these things turn out for me. But come on...one day...my ...um...day will come, right?

More tv, more work...more sleep. Repeat tomorrow. Next week is still going to be nuts. Yeeesh.