Winding down the year
Saturday, December 30, 2006 12:25 p.m.

Just been a mess of work lately. I'm counting down the weeks...it should ease up in Feb some time...but for the time being...It's gonna be kinda rough.

Anyways...not much going on. Got Justin some Donkey Konga games, got comics, and I got the Punisher video game...BRUTAL!

Did watch all of Top Chef season 1...man, that Katie...she has the sexiest mouth I have ever seen. But she was such a terrible host...they need someone with personality next season...so Padma has to go too.

Saddam, Ford, and James Brown in the same week? Wow...what is going on?

Yeah, looks like my new year's is going to be pretty crappy. I've got to get this freelance stuff done and if I have time...I brought some day job work back too. I hope things get better in '007 (yes, shaken, not stirred).

Ok... off to work.

Wheee...I make no sense.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006 11:35 p.m.

Yeah, I feel pretty delirious. Just worked and worked...a few hours downtime..so I got some CDs and lunch at Chipotle with Josh and H...man, she has some funny stories sometimes...she's a character...free spirit, I suppose.

More work and listened to my creepy "Rocakbye TOOL"...which is lullabuy versions of TOOL songs...um, yeah...they were less creepy with guitars...man, glockenspiel and harps can really give you the spookies!

Met up with Eunice after work for a little bit. Good to catch up...some major changes...but hey, we are getting older and it's time to move on, right?

She got me "Little Miss Sunshine" and I got her a knitting book...but she is crocheting...wow, I'ma dude. I guess I don't know the difference...oh, crap...now I do.

Was supposed to work on freelance stuff tonight...but too tired and I got caught up with Top Chef season 1...the original host: Katie Lee Joel...she has the sexiest lips...but was TERRIBLE...and she's married to Billy Joel ?!?!? and she was born in 1981 ?!?!? How f*ed is that? Padma Lakshmi is hot...but still...she seems dumb as a brick.

Ugh...work and home early to work on freelance tomorrow. ugh. double. triple ugh.

your problems, they aren't problems..
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 11:45 p.m.

...except when they are. More on this later.

Work...hectic as usual, but I got a lot done...and I rewarded myself with even more comics. Thank God for comics...I might go crazy without them. Escape...escape!

Saw H briefly...she's got some problems with a friend that is staying with her...and I think she barely knows I am alive. I am pretty much over this. I need to move on. Crush needs to be over. Officially.

Some college friends are going to be in town this week...if I see them or not...still up in the air. I'm feeling severely anti-social this year and I think I may end up just curling up in my bed by myself...or not.

Had dinner at home and my mom tells me this hilarious story. She ends up hitching a ride to Atlantic City with this Chinese couple to see Jackie Cheung sing...they get there and they are furious that the bus never came...and it turns out the concert is FEBRUARY 25th! Goodness...well, she made some new friends.

Had some Dunkin' with Doris...and well, let's just say my problems pale in comparison with some stuff I heard about other people. Nuff said.

In any case, yeah...I'm moody and depressed and loopy...and sometimes I feel ok and I am all B.A....and then I want to just do harm...I blame it on the holidays, I blame it on my memories, I blame it on work stress...and in the end...I say "Stop being such a frakkin' p*ssy." Just get over it. Done. Move on and be proactive.

Problem is...I don't know what to do. Besides work...I just feel kind of lost. So, I suppose some extra hours in the office is what I need? Me...alone in Ghosttown USA? Who knows.

Hotgirl/futurewife...I'm waiting for you to fall in my lap already. Sheesh, what's taking you so long?

2007 better be better than the past two years...because they were pretty much shite for me. Happy for others...yes. But c'mon....every dog gets his day, right? So...woof woof.

God bless us, everyone!
Monday, December 25, 2006 12:19 p.m.

Christmas '06:

Got up and went to church at Redeemer. Good to hear Tim Keller again. Finding miracles in the most unlikely places...what good can come out of this place? Plenty. Amen, to that. Met up with a bunch of Boston folks: Leiter, Ricky, Michelle, Jeff, Rosey, Jeremy, Sowon, and Jason. Had some pizza and then came back home...I was just exhausted. I was up late working on articles...and I slept from like 230 until 530...yipes.

Anyways, got up and went over to my mom's...whole family and extras were there. One of Justin's friends, Shelb, the Miaos, and extended family. A lot of eating, Guitar Hero, and "A Christmas Story" and presents!

What I got: Hugo Boss Shirt, SNL box set, Inuyasha figure, calendar, aweosme drink mix thing, cash, wallet, and an IBASS ipod dock...awesome year.

Home, bloody anime, and passing out....what a weird year. Now I got to get cracking on these articles...arrrgh! So much work...but poppa needs to get paid.

let it...rain?
Saturday, December 23, 2006 04:37 p.m.

Not very white and magical this year.

Friday: A bit of a fiasco with some files...but they got sorted out. I gave Josh and H some Christmas cheer...H got me a Bollywood CD...hahah, how did I know it would be that? In any case, I had to rush out of there to finish some last minute shopping. Boy, I was tired.

Finished up and came home. Eric and Charlotte were in NY...went home and then out to dinner. Got some groceries and stuff...went to Assi Plaza late...and then my mom had a flat tire. So Eric had to change the tire in the rain. Bummer. But it was worth it for melon bar and fishredbeanicecream thingee.

Got up and walked the pee crazy dog...went to get a hair cut...and then I get this weird text from H...I think she meant to send it to someone else...it was basically "sorry, I have plans..but..." and then it got cut off...so, I never knew what the rest was...but I guess it wasn't meant for me anyways...sigh.

BUT...T from the bar...she emailed me her phone number! She asked me to meet up with her at the bar since she was having a party with her friends...but alas, I was home and wet already. But she said to call her when our mutual friend was in town...heh. I got her digits now.

Anyways, went home for a while and had brunch with the sis and played some Guitar Hero. Came home to shower and knocked out the two short freelance articles...and I guess I can start on the other one tonight or on Monday? I have some time...but I just want to get it over with so I can hang out over the week with folks who are in town and what not.

I'm tired....holiday tired. Urrrgh. beat.

working working
Thursday, December 21, 2006 11:29 p.m.

Yeah...almost done with this batch. Got most of it in...tomorrow should be a relative easy day. Get out at 2 WOOO!!!

Lunch with the girls and Josh at food court...and H looked so cute. She got dressed up for a dance performance that she is going to with her gayfriend...sigh. Anyways...enough of my puppy dog eyes.

K got me some awesome popcorn tins and my new partner at work got me a cute cactus to keep me company in Ghostown USA.

Home, tv...talked to a friend about what is worse...being in a long term relationship and not getting married after several years...or being ready to get married right away...and having no one...oh wait...there's no contest! There's more to it than that...but I think what it comes down to is what you really want. Seriously, I think girls have all the power...whether they realize it or not. Guys are just idiots. We are easily swayed.

Talked to Joyce a bit....I was working on some chords...but no lyrics..but after our convo...they just flowed out of me! Is she my evilmuse???

Basically, the song is like a movie plot: a girl cheats on her boyfriend, the boyfriend forgives her and they have a night of carnal pleasures (make-up youknowhat) and then he dumps her! OH MAN...my brain has some evilsexy ideas...I really like the song calling it "heartbreak 101"...I'll have to post lyrics later...the chords are actually a mix from an Incubus song ("Wish You Were Here"--which is fitting since that reminds me of E...sad.) and Smashing Pumpkins' "Cherub Rock"...weird combo...and it sounds different...but it could totally work out if I played it live and segued into mini-covers...WHOAH.

Half day of work and then...long weekend filled with stress and freelance work. wooo.

WEEDS was awesome. I watched the whole first season in like three days. Oh yeah, adding Mary-Louise Parker to my "hot ladies" list. Yeah, I'm pathetic.

TGIF, kids.

karaoke and work and comics
Wednesday, December 20, 2006 11:32 p.m.

Yeah...got some work done. Got some awesome comics...went to Chipotle for lunch with the girls and Josh. H talked about farts and farting...oh, man.

Karaoke was pretty fun even though it was only the four of us. We had a great time...K apparently knows Samantha Fox songs like no one's business...and "We Belong" by Pat Benatar...wow...I love that song. Good times.

Funniest thing...I had K going. I told her some story about how J and I hooked up the first week we worked together...I added all these details and then I pulled down my dictionary and was pretending to do work..."oh, I can't find a word...can you help me find 'gullible'... and she was like...oh, where is it? I was like...you should look for your picture next to it..HAHAHAHH SO FUNNY!

Anyways, gonna still be pretty busy for tomorrow at least...and then I think Friday won't be too bad. I'm actually going to have to do some work this weekend...freelance stuff and all.

Oh, my friend James...the guy on "Heroes" is going to be in town this weekend...might see him and hang out. Maybe get the scoop on the show. HAHHAH! Nice!

Tired...plow through work tomorrow. wooot.

I am a machine!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006 10:28 p.m.

Seriously.

I edited like a monster today. Got a ton of stuff done and I should be able to do a heck of a lot more tomorrow. I think I can get almost everything I need to do done by Thursday morning...and then I can take it easy on Friday. And then rush home and get my Christmas presents wrapped. Yeah, I didn't get a few things...and I know some folks I won't see until after Christmas...anyways.

Went to get our cracktastic salads and I think we got Josh hooked. H is still so cute. Arrrgh...I think she tells stories when she is nervous...eh, what can I do. I'm still smitten...but I need to bust out of this or I'm going down in flames.

Still reading "Spider-Man: Blue"...I finished "Hulk:Gray"...it was ok...lame ending. But this Spidey one is awesome. I can't help but flip to the end and look at it quickly...all I know is I will end up bawling. I want to write a song for Gwen Stacy...I'll let that marinate for a while.

Got all my coworker's presents taken care of today...bringing them in tomorrow...man, that took a lot of work. I am pooped.

Going to bed early. Just tired. Someone take care of meeeeeee!

work work work
Monday, December 18, 2006 11:30 p.m.

Oh...I got my groove on and did a buttload today despite some serious distractions. Some weird photo shoot that had the lights out and flash bulbs exploding...and then H needed some help with post office stuff. She packed that stuff like Macgyver! And she was bleeding from a papercut...poor thing.

Also got salad with her...and stopped by Kmart where she got some goods...and stoolsoftener?? Oh, man...she is too cute. I love her glasses.

Anyways, after work met up with Joyce and we went to get some pizza at Patsy's and some crazy good dessert at Bloomingdale's...went looking for some cologne's and basically...pretty much anything from Ralph Lauren smells pretty good...so bday presents? Double Black and Romance Silver are fine by me...She gave me a Tom Waits CD and a choco Santa for Christmas...imposing her taste on me! Well, I got her something I like too. :P

Exhausted...gonna watch WEEDS...oh, Mary Louise Parker is so cute. Hilarious show too.

TONS of work and Christmas wrapping.

wedding weekend
Sunday, December 17, 2006 10:28 p.m.

So...how many weddings did I go to this year? 8? 10? I lost track. In any case...it was a doozy.

Friday: Got up and out on time. The bus ride actually wasn't too bad. Got to Chinatown in Philly and met up with Eurie and Jenny Chung as they got their hair and make up done. Haven't seen Jenny since college and she is cute as ever...and Eurie and I watch all the same TV shows so it was a blast catching up with them. Some minor drama as we went to the church...but things worked out pretty well. Jenny Kim was in charge of the wedding stuff and I was all set to usher as soon as I got changed.

Long story short...the wedding went well and it was beautiful. Romana and Cliff looked really happy and things were quite calm. The reception line was a lot longer than most weddings...and well, it took a while. So I caught up with Sunny and Jennie...talked to a few of Romana's friends and helped out her family.

Cliff's aunts all kind of look the same and they are hot from far away...they are all LA and have amazing bodies even though they are like in their 50s and have kids. hhahahh!

We get to the country club and I pound down a few drinks because I've been stressed and tired. And then...Christine and James come in...and she is HUGE and preggers...but gorgeous. I almost got teary-eyed...that same ass-beating girl is a woman now. Man, I am so getting that kid some anime stuff.

Some funny things: R's old roomate...totally lived up to her reputation...ahem...and this one guy...can you say "Chinese FOB tool"...yeah....anyways, talked to Jennie and Sunny a bit...and then I gave my toast...which went over like crazy. People LOVED it...even the wait staff came up to me to tell me how good it was.

And...since it was almost like an essay and I read it semi-professionally. I think I may have been offered an artist's residency. This girl Gail...she works for an arts initiative that hosts artists for like a week so they can teach and perform..etc...came up to me afterwards and asked me to do something for them once they get their new space in the fall. wow...nice.

In any case, had a great time and met some new friends. Romana looked beautiful and she was calm and collected. Cliff was beaming..and I was just so happy for them.

Lots of cleaning up and finally I get back to Cliff's place and collapse. Tiny bed, too much heat, noisy dorm-like place...so I listen to David Sedaris and pass out.

Saturday morning: So Jenny Kim, her twin Patty, Eurie and Jenny..we all go into Philly for brunch and we meet up with Chung Mo, Heidy (cute little artist girl, her husband Allen...we eat and then JK takes us on a tour of old town and the philly sites.

We go to the Liberty Bell(which was like the airport with all the security) and the Betsy Ross house (where Betsy was played by an obese woman who drank out of a flask) and a few other sites. JK is great...treasure trove of knowledge and really kind of sarcastic and bossy. I love her! She comes to NY a lot so we will meet up and hang out sometime soon.

We hang out and get gelato with JK's bfriend and check out her awesome place...and then go to get BBQ with Ro, Cliff, and Hip (yes, that's his name)...home for SNL and collapse.

Sunday: Say goodbye to Jenny C, JK and PK..and Ro and Cliff and his dad and hip...and then me and Eurie head off in the car for NY. Talk about LA, how dating sucks, Christians and culture vs. faith...and TV.

Funniest thing...I get a cheesesteak (which was great and not greasy) at this local place near Ro and Cliff's...and just as I'm leaving and thanking this guy..."thanks man"...he goes "TAH DOWWW!" I was cracking up with Eurie...did he actually say "TAHDOOOOOW?!??" awesome.

Yeah, despite JK selling Philly as a great place...I think of it as kind of a dump...a nice place to visit...but get me the heck outta there.

Well, maybe cause it was such a hectic weekend and because I did not sleep very welll...but I was just super glad to be home to watch my DVRed shows and see my dumb dog. Eh...work tomorrow...see what else happens before Christmas. Most important thing...I got to see Ro get married off...wow. I can't believe it. "Angry Barrettes" is married.

Ow...my shoulder...I'm tired and in pain.

My luck sucks...
Friday, December 15, 2006 12:08 a.m.

Work...man, I am exhausted. But I want to get a move on so that my files are in on time next week so I have the long weekend to really chill on Christmas. Anyways, had a meeting and I think I pulled out my "big stick"...so people know I mean business...and that I know my stuff. C'mon...efficiency! Let's get with it!

Holiday party and there was a raffle and free scratch tickets...I won...ONE DOLLAR! H won ten bucks! Karen got a Borders card...and Josh got a Borders card...AND THE GRAND PRIZE...an ipod NANO! Man...sucks.

I stayed late to get some work done...and well, I don't know if H really came by to say good night to me...or if she was looking for our other friend (which she should know moved to another floor already)...but it was nice to see her...with the glasses...and cute...and and...she made fun of me today...I mentioned my acapella group from college and she was like "if you aren't gay...well, liking Xanadu and being in an acapella group sure doesn't prove it..." GRRRR! hey,I like what I like. I do what I do!

Anyhooo...packing up and getting ready to go to Philly tomorrow. And I have to do some serious Christmas shopping online before I go...but tonight..went home for dinner and packed up my dad and put him on the plane to Taiwan. Honestly, I don't get it...he did this last year. Missed Christmas and New Year's...and what was his reason. I don't know and it makes me angry to even think it.

On to other things. I'm finally getting around to "Spider-Man: Blue"...it's one of three (the others are Daredevil: Yellow and Hulk: Gray) this series that Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale did (I love them...)

So, basically...it's a mini-series about classic Spidey...back when he just met MJ...and when he fell in love with Gwen...ok...this is what kills me. When the series first came out, I got a few of the issues and I loved it...but I don't think I ever finished it...and I was thinking why...and then it was because I was with E at the time...and the money I was spending on her and then the eventual heartbreak after...that's when i stopped getting comics for a while...

Anyhooo...I'm in the middle of the hardcover...and I have a feeling that I'll be in tears by the end of it. Spidey is narrating the story (he's recording tapes) and he "talks" to Gwen through them...and we all know...that Gwen has been dead for a long time...and man, if I know Loeb and Sale...they are gonna wreck me by the end.

Yeah...all this work and stress and working out is making me bonkers. I'm really moody lately...and I just need someone to take care of me soon. I don't know how much more of this weirdness I can take.

TGIF...Ro is getting married. Wow.

Holy crap...
Wednesday, December 13, 2006 11:10 p.m.

R.I.P. Peter Boyle...lovable curmudgeon of an actor. C'mon...who doesn't love ELR? He'll be missed. Godspeed you.

Work has been and will be superhectic...finished the first batch...which was almost 300 pages...and the second batch is in as well. Oh man...how am I going to get this done? Office party tomorrow...but I think I will have to punk out early and get some work done. Arrrgh.

Anyhooo...I am addicted to this salad place. I could seriously eat there every day. I love it. And Karen bought me a tollhouse cookie from Zaro's...soooo good.

And H wore her glasses today...oh man...she's so cute. GAH. This is killing me...maybe things will be different when she is less stressed...but I am crazy stressed...arrgh. Not good.

Comics...awesome. JLA is just ...cannot come out soon enough. And more comic sales. Can I tell you I got these two gorgeous Spidey hard covers for 20 bucks?!?!? Retail price...almost 60! Great deals.

Dinner with the folks...and man...my dad is a classic narcissist and my mom is the classic martyr...and of course....I am equal parts of both! Can you tell how screwed up I am?

My mom wanted to take out an additional life insurance policy for me...it's weird...after like 20 years you can borrow money from it? Regardless...I got this overwhelming creepy feeling and I told her not to do it. Just too weird.

Anyways...looks like I won't be going to Philly until Friday...since I would have no place to stay tomorrow night. Eurie is going to be in Chinatown when I get there on Friday...so it all works out for the best.

So...I can take my dad to the airport tommorrow night...he's off to Taiwan and won't be back until 2007...yup, I wonder if he really does have another family over there...hmmm.

Gonna be busy getting wedding stuff in order and work...and man, this work out is crazy. You gotta check out my arms...I am jacked...and I think the testosterone is getting to me...I am crazy....I mean...crazier.

Welcome to my island!
Monday, December 11, 2006 10:52 p.m.

Yup...pretty much all alone. Got a lot of work done and Josh came to visit. Still weird...but I could listen to music and stuff. Hope to get a ton more done tomorrow.

Got salad with H...she was kind of shy and quiet...acting weird. But not in a bad way...just weird. Still cute though. :( And man, I love that salad place! Really filling and it is super cheap. I may need to go there every day until I get me my free salad. woooo.

Comics...got some sweet deals on Punisher HC...awesome. And Karen got a haircut...cute!

Met up with Joyce and she bought me soup. The Cream of Tomato/Chicken/Orzo soup is THE BEST...I LOVE IT. Had a good talk and wandered around for a bit. I told her that I have "settled on disapointment"...and I thought it was a great song title...and yup...I came home and wrote it!

I'm exhausted. I need sleep. More work tomorrow. Ugh.

anonymity...
Sunday, December 10, 2006 09:57 p.m.

Yeah...sometimes we all want to disappear. My friend told me that this site actually comes up if you Google it. Surprise to me...since I always thought my little corner of the world was so carefully hidden away and that the people that stumble on here were friends or were just randomly looking at someone else's blog. In any case...I can't take back what is out there...but I guess I should be more discreet...but again, I qualify that with what I always say... a lot of what goes on in my life doesn't make it on here. Eh, go figure.

In any case...I'm wondering if I should try this internet dating thing again...I think it's a bad idea...but if another friend pushes me to do it again...I may have to. I mean, it's hard enough meeting people these days and single people are getting harder and harder to come by as I get older. So that leaves...younger girls or going online? Oy.

I got some work done today and should be good to go when I get in the office tomorrow. It's going to be weird being all alone on my side of the building. Yipes.

Dinner with Joyce after work maybe...but I'm broke and tired. And still kinda sad. *le sigh*...Yeah, time to butch up.

What I want for Christmas
Saturday, December 9, 2006 06:05 p.m.

I am very hard to shop for...but if anyone is looking to get me something:

1. Curious George (widescreen version)--I really want this. I'm a sucker for cute.
2. ABSOLUTE Danger Girl--apparently out of print. But I saw one at a comic store and it was cover price...ack. That's 75 bucks. Jeebus.
3. Gift certificates-- amazon.com, instocktrades.com, talesofwonder.com
4. The brown hoodie that Common is wearing in those Gap ads. That EXACT one. I like it.
5. A nice girl who will go out with me on New Year's Eve (yeah, right.)

That's all folks.

Working for the weekend...
Saturday, December 9, 2006 05:25 p.m.

Wow...I got so much done at work on Friday. I even stayed until 7:30 to get some more stuff done and brought work home over the weekend. I'm going to have to keep doing this for the next month or so...extra work...because of our tight deadlines and the delays we had. It's going to be tough..but it has to be done.

Did go to lunch with H, Josh, and Karen...and came back and I finally told Karen the situation...because I think it is all coming to an end. H apparently invited "the tool" to Josh's show...and that just put a dagger in me. I don't get it ...and K thinks that well, H just has a thing...and I can do better. Oh, well...

Met up with Joyce and we went Christmas shopping...and then went to Fat Baby for Josh's show...we got drinks and H came with her friend Susan...but without the "tool"...which was good...but hey...still doesn't really help me. Josh did a great job. Tight harmonies...the band's music is very radio friendly...total VH1 stuff. I actually talked to the booking manager...and he said he'd be interested in booking me for a show..

Anyways, we went to get crepes afterwards and Josh's friends Tim and Kate joined us...then we went to a bar and just had a few and talked. Honestly, I still like her. I need to get over it...unless by some miracle it finally clicks in her head. And I love Joyce...she's so goofy and cute...she made me pick her up and I did it with one arm (damn, the working out is really paying off) and we had fun despite the way I was feeling. I've been through this...just have to get through the awkwardness.

Anyways, didn't get to bed until 3...and I did some work and laundry today. Just grouchy and tired...but I think throwing myself into work will help. I'm going to record and book some shows and I think I'll just have to carry on through that.

I'm getting used to disappointment.

Working for the weekend...
Saturday, December 9, 2006 05:25 p.m.

Wow...I got so much done at work on Friday. I even stayed until 7:30 to get some more stuff done and brought work home over the weekend. I'm going to have to keep doing this for the next month or so...extra work...because of our tight deadlines and the delays we had. It's going to be tough..but it has to be done.

Did go to lunch with H, Josh, and Karen...and came back and I finally told Karen the situation...because I think it is all coming to an end. H apparently invited "the tool" to Josh's show...and that just put a dagger in me. I don't get it ...and K thinks that well, H just has a thing...and I can do better. Oh, well...

Met up with Joyce and we went Christmas shopping...and then went to Fat Baby for Josh's show...we got drinks and H came with her friend Susan...but without the "tool"...which was good...but hey...still doesn't really help me. Josh did a great job. Tight harmonies...the band's music is very radio friendly...total VH1 stuff. I actually talked to the booking manager...and he said he'd be interested in booking me for a show..

Anyways, we went to get crepes afterwards and Josh's friends Tim and Kate joined us...then we went to a bar and just had a few and talked. Honestly, I still like her. I need to get over it...unless by some miracle it finally clicks in her head. And I love Joyce...she's so goofy and cute...she made me pick her up and I did it with one arm (damn, the working out is really paying off) and we had fun despite the way I was feeling. I've been through this...just have to get through the awkwardness.

Anyways, didn't get to bed until 3...and I did some work and laundry today. Just grouchy and tired...but I think throwing myself into work will help. I'm going to record and book some shows and I think I'll just have to carry on through that.

I'm getting used to disappointment.

CARIDEE!!!!
Wednesday, December 6, 2006 11:35 p.m.

Not much going on...work is gonna get brutal...got JSA number 1 today...AWESOME. Otherwise it was kinda weird...SS is moving out and I will be all alone at my desk for weeks. ODD feeling, that.

And yes...my fave girl won on ANTM! CARIDEE! You are hot and you are crazy...my kinda girl! I even did a little pop n' lock at home for Caridee when she won...I know, I am a complete moron.

Talked to Joyce a bit...seems that she found a new neighbor that she might want to set me up with...hmmm...which will help me get over you-know-who.

I need to go back to my "I could care less" mode...girls...bah...who needs 'em. My working out has helped me a bit...have to keep it up and get buff and build my confidence again.

I hate dating. Can't someone just marry me and pop out some kids already?

Urrrgh. I am hot ...and it is freezing out...what is wrong with me?

thoughts...on thinking
Tuesday, December 5, 2006 11:23 p.m.

Almost done with my year-end review thing...and that was it for work. Went to Best Buy to get some Christmas shopping done...and then just mulled around.

Actually talked to H for a good while...and found out she is going to Josh's concert on Friday with her friend...and she was just like...I'll see you there. Not even a second thought...so I guess this is weighing on the side of me just giving up on this. And thinking about this...I am just too nice and too available...if what people say is true...I shouldn't be.

And I do tend to put girls on a pedestal until they fall...it should be the other way around. I mean, I wish I was in a position where a girl really liked me and not the other way around, you know? I keep hearing that "I'm such a great catch."...well, I kinda want to be caught. But who is fishing? I seriously think I am one of the last single people out there. Am I YOUR last single friend?

Anyways, more Best Buy and Target and some Amazon action and I am practically done with my Christmas shopping. Whew...I've been grouchy lately...and I think it's because of me dieting and working out so much...and the whole frustration thing...and I guess I'm kind of lonely.

So, what I want for Christmas is a nice girl who isn't crazy, who is kinda hot, who likes pop culture stuff, and wants to make out with me. Why is this so hard?

I do believe that my 3 lucky years begin in 2007...so I'm hoping that it starts right off the bat. But until then...thank God for guitars, dumb bells, comics, books, cds, and dvds. I don't think I'd be here without these blessed distractions.

Surprises
Monday, December 4, 2006 11:18 p.m.

Yeah...so things have been weird. The emergency room trip last night really freaked me out. But going to work was fine. Our pages were delayed again...so I got to working on my year-end review...took a long time and I still need to edit it.

Anyways, went out with the girls and took Josh out for his bday. Went to burgers and cupcakes...and I spilled Diet Coke in H's lap...arrgh. What an idiot. Anyways, things were fine. We all had a good time.

H dyed her hair chestnut brown and she looked great...but no one noticed except for me...I think that gets me points, no? Anyways, I guess I haven't given up after all. Maybe I should say some thing to her after her classes are over and her function is done....no distractions and no second guessing..worse thing that could happen...she could say no...and well, it adds fuel to my fire to be more proactive.

So, Joyce emails me today and it was in her own semi-filthy way...and she copied her mom on the email for some reason...by accident. Anyways, she calls me up and tells me her mom is appalled...but she thought it was hilarious.

Oh...and a very close friend of mine told me she's been dating some guy for a few weeks now. I don't know why some people have this "don't ask, won't tell policy"...I mean, if I was dating someone I'd be telling my friends left and right...and if I was just "hanging out" with someone...well, that's not really dating in my book...but apparently "hanging out = dating" in other people's book...whatever. Each to his own.

My work out and my semi-diet seems to be working. I feel pretty good and my arms are freaking solid...I was chilly and I kind of rubbed my arm...and I was like...NO FRIGGING WAY...I am jacked. Guess all those reps really do work. And my upper abs are stone...too bad my lower ones are more like jello.

Real work tomorrow and hope to make some headway in the Christmas shopping. Nearly done, I think.