bringing it to a close...
Friday, December 31, 2004 03:19 p.m.

Well... let's take care of the little things first and then I'll get to some year end thoughts.

Was going to go into the city yesterday...but didn't really have time to go and come back and get my NYE shopping done. Ended up just rushing out to Forest Hills and buying a few shirts...thing is...the shirt I picked out for NYE is almost the same exact one that Chris bought! SO GAY...hahaha...in any case...

Headed home to do a little work... tried to read and just spaced out...much like I am doing today... oh man...well...I still have tomorrow and Sunday to get some of this stuff done. I'm really not looking forward to going back to work.

Had this conversation with my folks and they think I should just quit and do something I really want to...while I am young and capable...but it isn't so easy. I need money! I'm weighing options right now...and the thing that looks best is the teaching option...which gives me time to write...and yes, the clock starts ticking officially tomorrow. I've got a year to finish the first draft of my novel. I've been working on it lately...some good stuff...but unpolished...need to get cranking on it.

Just thinking a lot about how this year ended... all the things that I still feel like I need to do...all the mistakes...all the crap that I just want to be over and done with. I'm seriously hoping that 2005 will be better. These past few years have been so crazy and roller coastery..I just want some consistency...something truly good and pure to happen.

I'm tired of waiting around... if the things I want don't happen... I'm just going to want different things...does that make any sense?

In any case...I'm so ready to put this year away. Let's just stuff it under the carpet and pretend no one saw anything.

Good riddance, 2004! SHOOO!

bringing it to a close...
Friday, December 31, 2004 02:55 p.m.

Well... let's take care of the little things first and then I'll get to some year end thoughts.

Was going to go into the city yesterday...but didn't really have time to go and come back and get my NYE shopping done. Ended up just rushing out to Forest Hills and buying a few shirts...thing is...the shirt I picked out for NYE is almost the same exact one that Chris bought! SO GAY...hahaha...in any case...

Headed home to do a little work... tried to read and just spaced out...much like I am doing today... oh man...well...I still have tomorrow and Sunday to get some of this stuff done. I'm really not looking forward to going back to work.

Had this conversation with my folks and they think I should just quit and do something I really want to...while I am young and capable...but it isn't so easy. I need money! I'm weighing options right now...and the thing that looks best is the teaching option...which gives me time to write...and yes, the clock starts ticking officially tomorrow. I've got a year to finish the first draft of my novel. I've been working on it lately...some good stuff...but unpolished...need to get cranking on it.

Just thinking a lot about how this year ended... all the things that I still feel like I need to do...all the mistakes...all the crap that I just want to be over and done with. I'm seriously hoping that 2005 will be better. These past few years have been so crazy and roller coastery..I just want some consistency...something truly good and pure to happen.

I'm tired of waiting around... if the things I want don't happen... I'm just going to want different things...does that make any sense?

In any case...I'm so ready to put this year away. Let's just stuff it under the carpet and pretend no one saw anything.

Good riddence, 2004! SHOOO!

urrrgh... week is flying by...
Wednesday, December 29, 2004 05:17 p.m.

And the panic sets in... I really do not want to go back to work...but I do have a plan of action at the moment. I want to go back to teaching. NYU has openings...and I really think that even though it will be a huge pay cut...I should do it anyways...I miss teaching...I was good at it...and being in educational publishing all these years...I think that I would be good at it. So...that's the plan. I'm going to apply for a position and hope that it pans out.

Could not sleep last night...it was just freezing in my room...so at like 2-3 AM...I started to patch up the seams in my door and window... and still! I'm freezing my cojones off!

Anyways...went to Harvest with my mom and Justin...and good thing we kept our heads and did not stuff ourselves silly... did some random shopping...and the funny thing was...I ended up getting a Slurpee...I had seen something on tv recently and was craving one lately...in any case... the power on the Slurpee machine was a little stronger than I remembered...needless to say...Slurpee Covered Abe isn't going to be a new flavor at your local 7-11.

Ok...the Faint cds I bought are pretty kick ass... check out "Wet From Birth" all you electro-indie heads!

Grace went to Marquee last ngiht and saw...LINDSAY LOHAN! And she hung out with the Wayans Brothers...dang...how you gonna act like her neck don't bling? My life is so boring.

Sigh...end of the year...and I'm just reeling from all the change and disappointments that 2004 brought. And you know Chinese people and their superstitions...so...2005 should be a banner year compared to 04...

Anyways... cleaning up... gonna try to do some work tonight.....and see what tomorrow brings.

Must focus! Must relax...ahhhh dichotomy.

oh...more thoughts...
Tuesday, December 28, 2004 11:31 p.m.

Oh... forgot to mention...I flew through 70 pages of the Sedaris book...and some really funny stuff... his mom reminds me of the mom on Malcolm in the Middle...and whenever he mentions Amy...oh, man...I have to smile a little bit...because you know that Amy is gonna grow up to become Jerri Blank on "Strangers With Candy" one of my fave shows...

And I forgot to mention...I had another one of those choke up moments watching anime... Wolf's Rain...the scene where Hubb is dreaming about his ex-wife Cher...and how they had all these good times together...mind you, she's been missing and he's been looking for her desperately...and then he wakes up...and Pops says "That must have been one hell of a dream!"...and Hubb goes..."No, it was a sad one..."

Anyways, he goes through this new town and just can't find her...and he settles on a ledge by a fountain and hangs his head in his hands...and is on the verge of breaking down because he can't find his ex-wife (whom he still oves, duh) and then...he sees her at the foot of the stairs...and she has tears in her eyes...and he has tears and they hug and she assures him that it's not a dream...

Ok...ok...you have to watch it yourself...I'm a sap...I know.

too many women...too little time...
Tuesday, December 28, 2004 11:08 p.m.

too bad...they want nothing to do with me! HAHAHAH

Had a fun day running around the city today... went to have lunch with Emily at the Olive Garden (don't ask...she's had some weird craving) and we talked about work and what I've been missing. I actually do miss having her around all the time...eh... oh well. I couldn't eat for some reason...had two slices of pizza...and carried the rest around with me...

Went to Best Buy and went NUTS...so many good dvds coming out lately...got anchorman deluxe version, open water, garden state, and resident evil2...

Dropped by the new Time Warner Center... dang...that place is NICE... gorgeous behemoth, that it is...went to Borders and dropped off Grace's Christmas present...and yes, we all know Abe likes the gothgirl look...but Grace got a tan in PR and dang...she looks good! Yeah, sometimes tans are nice (but nothing beats a gothgirl on a gloomy day) anyways... she was studying for the GMAT... which isn't until February! But she is dilligent and a genius in my book...what can't that girl do?

Went to drop off Eunice's Christmas present down by where she lives...and gave her pizza! We both had a cold slice in the lobby...and she got me "Dress Your Family.." David Sedaris! and a bookmark... so I gotta strike another thing off my list.

We ran around the city like mad... looking at bars and stuff for NYE...mgiht go to guernica or this bar called LAVA GINA...hahah get it ?

Anyways...went to the Apple store... and it started to snow... the store was crazy packed...and it was friggin' cold... went to Starbucks and used the card my boss gave me...ahem...only 5 bucks on it... ugh. It was fun being dragged around by the arm and flung down Broadway...that Eunice is a monster!

Went to Spice and ate... my fave restaurant...that for some reason, Eunice has never been to. Odd. Hmmm...

Anyways...after that...Eunice went home and I went to see Cindy for awhile...it feels like she hasn't even left...she brought me some Brit magazines and we chatted for awhile...dang...we analyzed ways we could find me a girl...and honestly...I feel like I've tried everything...I just want something to happen organically...all this stuff feels so forced....anyways...going to have lunch with her and her sis on Thursday. I've really missed having Cindy around...sigh.

Was going home...and then found out that FYE was closing down...so I picked up two FAINT cds (yes, strike those off the list)and the new duran duran...eh...not very good...but you can't ebat the classics...and oh ...48 AA batteries for 7 bucks! DANG! I got batteries for a loooong time !!!

Anyways...home and my mom calls and says she is going to play hooky so we can go take Justin to get buffet tomorrow...hahaha...

Some sad news... Laura just went to her grandfather's funeral...so probably not gonna hang out with her much...I hope she is doing ok.

Otherwise...it was a chilly day...had a lot of fun running around...now, must do some work and get ready for NYE!

Man...I forgot what having fun feels like. Nice to be reminded sometimes...

vacation! wooooo!
Monday, December 27, 2004 11:35 p.m.

Oh man...it feels good not to have to go into work on a Monday...but the clock is ticking and I know this week is going to fly by fast. I don't really have much to do...all I know is that I don't want to do much of anything. :P

So...what's been going on? Post-holiday clean up and just randomness here. Not much besides chilling... and I do mean CHILL. It is friggin' freezing!

Ok...NYE plans are stressing me out... not sure if it's the smartest idea to be bar hopping and what not. Well, not much hope for romance this year... unless something truly happens out of the blue and jsut knocks me for a loop. I would really love for some hot girl to just club me and drag me away like the baby seal that I am...ON THE INSIDE!

In any case...dinner and drinks with Grace... should be fun...hopefully low key and not depressing...but if she finds some random guy in a bar and I'm left holding her coat, looking forlorn, and drunk dialing...then it would be bad.

Watched a bunch of movies, hung out with my family...a funny story...Alex apparently LOVES the Darth Vader mask...and he barely takes it off...he stands in front of my aunt and goes "I WILL DESTROY YOU!" ..."THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE IS STRONG!"...and lots of vader-y type stuff...in any case...she called to say that she was getting a little creeped out. HAHHAH!!!

I did venture out today and got a haircut... met up with Chris and braved the 20 degree cold. Watched some RW/RR and man...my hottie Tonya got eliminated today...arrrgh!!!! Someone needs to get Tina to SHUT UP! And poor Shane... damn...he got bitch-slapped...Steven...wtf?

And yes...Ahmad finally got eliminated from OZZfest today...woooo!!!

Yes, my life revolves around stupid tv shows sometimes...SOMETIMES!

I should really start doing some work. I brought stuff home and have yet to really do anything... there are always a million things I know I should do...but watching tv and just vegging out is soooooo gooood.

But craziness in the world...the tsunamis...it's insane the amount of destruction...truly unbelievable...I emailed Wendy (remember her?) to make sure she was ok...she is...safely in Singapore right now...whew. Man, i miss her. :(

I did get to talk to Grace and Cindy today...and Eunice...I'm so used to the internet that the phone is really surprising sometimes. I forget how good it is to actually talk to someone...mmmmmm...talk.

Anyways, I'll be heading out to the city to run some errands and meet up with some folks... it will be good to get out of the house!

Happy Monday kids! Big Best Buy day tomorrow! AND WHO HAS A COUPON?!?!? me.

...and to all a good night...
Saturday, December 25, 2004 02:32 a.m.

Man, Christmas this year was crazy...past few days have just been insane anyways... it's all gone by in a daze actually.

Spent most of yesterday trying to reccuperate...still pretty sick...getting better bit by bit...but the thing is...it's noticeable that I've lost weight...which is GREAT...but kind of scary...considering it's been almost three days that I haven't been able to really eat. I started eating regular food ...but it's not exactly being really digested...hmmm

Um... less gross things. Watched tv, did some major clean up (my music stuff looks waaay cleaner and I can't wait to start recording and playing again...) and just puttering around... feeling a little weak still...but ok.

Eric came home late last night and we watched some NBA...and we all got up pretty early this morning.

Mom dropped off some food...and Justin...and we watched "Shaun of the Dead" and "Napolean Dynamite" again...Shaun is one of my fave movies of this past year...and possibly of all time...Napolean on the other hand...I've seen it like 3 times this week and I kinda love it...kinda hate it...so weird! GOSH! gimme some TOTS!

Went over to my folks place for Christmas this year...which was a HUGE relief since that means less clean up for me... and man, it was NUTS...biggest turn out ever... our family with all the kids...plus Uncle Alan's family, and Alex's friends and family (bunch of cute babies), Kelvin, Johnny and his Mom, Fred and his sister, just loads of people...

and then went out to see Doris for awhile...since her family moved like 4 blocks away from mine.....we exchanged gifts at Dunkin Donuts...and then she came over to say hi...and I went over to her place to say hi... it would be cool if our Moms hung out...we are almost family anyways...

And Doris got me an awesome Christmas present! Something from my list! The Asuka figure I wanted!!!! wooo...scratch that off...AND an Emily the Strange calendar! woooo...you know me and goth girls.

Anyhooo... lots of bad karaoke from my family... lots of wrapping paper... an awesome squishy pillow and some HUGE clothes that I can't fit...and some cool stuff...

best moment for me was the reaction from philip...I got him the Modest Mouse CD because he loves "float on"...I think it might be his first CD ever...and he looked so happy and he was like SHAKING with glee...really funny. And Alex in the Darth Vader helmet with his still baby voice going "hello...hello"...too cute.

Anyways...it's been a great Christmas...got to talk to Romana and Amy (she's coming to town with Christin for my bday!) and got to have a good time with friends and family...

By the way...it's like 3 AM now...and Shelb, Kel, Nina, Justin, Chris, Eric are watching Shaun AGAIN...and I am ready to collapse and hug my new squishy pillow...

Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus!

I LOVE YOU !

oh man...really, REALLY sick.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004 10:06 p.m.

Ok...yesterday... went to Best Buy, ran into Gary and Lisa AGAIN...and Samantha from back in the day... went home and got some groceries...and watched Napolean Dynamite

Very quirky movie...I kinda liked it...and then I kinda thought it was dumb...in any case...turns out the hamburger meat I bought or something else...must have been bad...because I've been to the bathroom like 30 times since last night...

Ugh...I feel so weak and dehydrated...and I can't even keep water down...it's gross.

In any case...I went to work and picked up stuff to bring home...and man, I am so ready to quit. I'll just leave it at that...these people ...well this one person is getting unreasonable.

Home...so weak and tired and just slept all day...and I want to go back to sleep now. Managed to have two pieces of dry toast...but I still can barely walk...my legs have no strength at all.

What made my day: some ninth grade girl wrote me becausse she loved my poem... she must have read it in the textbook...and she must have went to a lot of trouble to track me down...in any case, it was kind of sad...because it sounded like her mother passed away...and she was writing me to say that my poem reminded her of cooking with her mom... sniff. Makes me want to keep writing and not give up. I must write her back!

Weird thing is... my poem was called "Folding Won Tons In"...and guess what was on food network...Good Eats special about won tons!

So many weird little coincidences... makes me feel like I am on LOST...which is a GREAT show, btw.

Wow...I am really out of it...better lie down... man...I am realyl sick. Someone please take care of me!!! At least I don't have to go back to work for a week and a half! Maybe I can find something else by then....

Vacation begins now!!!!

wild Monday!
Tuesday, December 21, 2004 10:02 a.m.

Ok...well...Monday was chock-full of work and other stuff... hot co-worker is like officially my best friend here now...hahahah...we'll see how long that lasts.

Oh..and I officially have my first real business card! Too bad I don't really want to be here much longer...

Anyways, got out of work and finished up Christmas shopping for the kids and then wandered around for a bit before I met up with the high school crew for dinner. Ended up walking all the way to 7th ave and then taking the bus back... ran into Jen on the bus and we went into Lemon Grass Grill...

Diana, Kaori, Gary and Lisa, and then Mike came... and then ran into Melissa from high school! SO WEIRD! What a small world...in any case...it was a night of laughs and them talking about honeymoons and being married and other stuff that makes me want to barf and cry at the same time. I was always the non-conformist anyways...so eh... I'll get married one day.

Anyways...it was good seeing them...then the exciting part...me and Gary were talking about politics...and why I was averse going to church for fear of encountering Bushlovers...in any case... we just started talking about politics...I voted based on the war and terrorism and didn't factor in moral/social issues (gay marriage etc...) into my vote...but apparently some people did...

In any case...some drunk, racist guy was saying I kicked him...and I was like ...figuratively or because I said I was disappointed in our country for voting for Bush? Well, apprently, he meant literally...and if I did...I apologized...but I didn't realize it...anyways...he starts talking about Ho CHi Minh, Tianamen Square, and "WE'LL NEVER FORGET! SEMPER FI!" and allthis other racist crap...

Anyways...he goes "GOD BLESS AMERICA" and Gary goes..."Yes, He is ...right now." Oh, Gary...don't prostelytize to the drunk racist...it was good intentioned...but at the wrong time...because this guy made very aggressive eye contact...and Gary just tried talking...after awhile Gary gave up and started laughing and told the guy to go back to sleep...which probably upset the guy more.

In the end...we switched cars...and got off and an Asian kid and an Indian kid came out and said they had our backs if anything happened...and that the guy was accosting them...saying crazy things too...in any case...don't take the E train, kids.

Too much excitement for one day...anyways...got to finish up some work...and then it's happy Best Buy day.

Vince Carter in NJ! Bring it !!!

lazy...but productive weekend.
Monday, December 20, 2004 09:37 a.m.

Oh man...it's cold today...it's in the 20s and it could get worse! URRRGH. What a crappy day...the whole magic of the "first snow" is kind of wasted on me... it's supposed to be better later in the week.

Saturday and Sunday...spent indoors watching DVDs and cleaning...but also super productive because I edited my resume, worked on my novel a bit...and did a cover of u2's "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" and "Bad" ... did this cool medley... because the bridge of the new song was too hard...and it was in the same key as "bad" ...so it jelled really well.

In any case... Princess Diaries 2 was ok...Super-Size Me was awesome...and anime is just the good old stand-by...

As the weather gets colder...I grow more anti-social...just want to make it through the week...but still have a ton of stuff to do...ugh. Not looking forward to it... sigh.

Having dinner with all my married high school friends...oh man...as if I wasn't feeling GREAT enough.

Happy Monday.

Don't Super-Size Me!
Friday, December 17, 2004 11:19 p.m.

Well, I might as well talk about my Friday since I ended up coming home.

Was pretty tired...but productive at work. My new friend at work is pretty cool. We emailed and hung out a lot today...

Was supposed to hang out with Serena...but she felt sick...sooo...I got me "Formerly Known As the Justice League"...because it had Ralph and Sue...very different... funny... eh...it was ok... but the one part...Elongated Man was talking to Plastic Man...and Plastic Man was asking him why he only stretched and didn't changed shapes...and EM goes "What...are you having an IDENTITY CRISIS?" ooooh. I bet Meltzer read that...

Trains were super slow...so ended up getting out at 71st and got some supercheap DVDs.. got Envy, Saved, and Super-Size Me... I know, I know...it was on my list...but it was sooo cheap and I wanted to see it. So I bought it. (and got Wolf's Rain 2 for 12 bucks...supercheap!)

Came home and watched Super-Size Me with Chris...and we both agreed that the movie actualyl made us hungry...in any case...man, after it was over...I'm seriously going to avoid Mc Donald's for a long time... now Wendy's...ack. I might not be able to give up.

But the freakiest part...was the "Smoking Fry" featurette...it was an experiment that Morgan Spurlock did with a bunch of McSammiches and a batch of fries kept in jars...and weeks go by... oh...and he put a diner burger and fries in...the "real food" goes bad in a few days...but the McSammiches take much longer...but the fries...teh FRIES! It's like 10 weeks into it and the fries have NOT BROKEN DOWN AT ALL! No mold...nothing... and he throws them out so...who knows how long it would have taken for those preservative filled fries to break down?!?!?

In any case...like Farenheit 9/11...Super Size-Me is a doc you must see... hilarious and really thought provoking...now...I'm gonna watch my ROTK:EE...it's so cold out...and I'm feeling lazy...not gonna get me out of the apartment this weekend. Snow is a-coming!

Now, I'm gonna fram my GORGEOUS Last Exile postcards...Range Murata is a genius.

Have a great weekend!

urrrgh kind of day.
Friday, December 17, 2004 10:06 a.m.

Let's just say it's been an odd week. Work was rather tough yesterday...feeling queasy and nauseous...and just out of it...Have a bunch of stuff I need to get done before I leave on my little break...my DVD and Christmas superfun-fest!

Anyways...funny thing is...the hot girl in the office has decided to make me her best friend. She's been emailing me constantly and we went out for lunch yesterday. She's really cool...but a little quirky. She reads "war and peace" and loves opera and jazz...but is addicted to the OC and Legally Blonde. I've become like her little "girlfriend"...but hey, she's hot, she bakes cookies, and she's cool...so I appreciate it.

Other than that...home...had to wash my duvet cover TWICE (see previous post) ...but it smells wonderful now. Watched the end of Kiddy Grade... not great...but not too bad. I kind of want more.

ID CRISIS...ok bitches...I got all choked up...the scene where Bats is at his parents' grave and he asks them to take care of Robin's dad and Sue... *SOB...and the end where Ralph is "talking" to Sue... so sad.

Even though the killer was a classic sane person turned crazy person outted in the end...it was still a great ride.

Hanging out with Serena tonight... hot girl is emailing me again...and I got a bunch of work to do...

*sigh...more Christmas presents to buy...but the weekend is here! TGIF!

the streak is broken!
Thursday, December 16, 2004 09:53 a.m.

For those of you in the know... I haven't thrown up since the third grade...well, last night...the streak was officially broken.

Let's recall the whole sordid affair:

Work was pretty hectic and nutty... the book I was working on FINALLY went to the printer...and Identity Crisis wrapped up...so it was already a big day. Anyways, shared a cab the THE PARK...which was a really nice space...went with Daryl, Kathleen, and Allison...

Some good and awkward conversations and some weird drinks...something called a "Nairobi" which was scoth, campari, and vermouth...UGH! And something the bartender gave me that tasted like ground up vitamin C....nasty.

In total...had like 7 drinks...which wasn't so bad...but ...I think the weird mix of stuff really did it in for me...and the fact thatI didn't eat at the party and had some Mc D's hamburgers afterwards...probably made me yakk in the middle of the night.

So, what have I learned?

People at the office are gossip whores... they thought me and my coworker (on the same team, we talk music) were hooking up! WTF!??!? Sheesh. And my boss is really cool. She's just super nice...if she wasn't my boss...I'd want her to be my friend (and her baby plays with Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany's baby)

Oh...and not to mention I called Doris on the way home...only it wasn't Doris...I called her home phone and talked to her sister...I must have sounded drunk and scared her!

Oh man...what a night...what a day...and I didn't even talk about ID Crisis yet...sigh...maybe later...got a ton of work to do.

Just crazy.

freezing...in more ways than one...
Wednesday, December 15, 2004 09:32 a.m.

Yeah, work has been tough lately...and it looks like it will remain this way for the foreseeable future...and yeah, I need a change already.

Went to the Donnell Library yesterday to pick up some books I needed for work...and it was tough... since I was going through the train station (which happened to be 666 Fifth Ave.) and passed the shop where I scrambled to get flowers...to meet E at MOMA for our first date...back in the day...it just brought back so many mixed emotions... looking at the new MOMA all empty...thinking back on what we did that day... how my heart raced... and then yesterday...my heart was pounding so fast, I couldn't breathe...it was awful...once I was in the library...things were better...but I don't think I could step foot in that museum for a long time.

Chatted with one of my online buddies (funny how you can become friends with people you've never met...such is the internet) and he was saying that he felt like he could understand where I've been...because he had similar experiences. And yes, we all go through heartbreak...and we are filled with sympathy and empathy...but in the end...all we really want is someone who understands and cheers you on to continue. So, for all you blog readers...I'm rooting for you...and yeah, I need some much needed encouragement too.

Did some Christmas shopping at best Buy and Target...and was just tired and hadn't eaten for a long time...and then had to help Justin with a school project, pick up groceries, and had to yell at my grandma for dragging an electrical wire across the kitchen floor to plug in a lamp... so dangerous...I felt awful for yelling...but she had to understand...her eccentricites could seriously hurt my grandpa... ack...felt horrible...but it had to be done.

Anyways...just tired and grumpy...watched some ROTK featurettes and the last episodes of Last Exile...I don't know why dumbass otaku were complaining...I thought it was a good ending...a little rushed...and I'm not sure what happened to Dio...but I thought it was one of the best anime series I've ever seen...so if you like steampunk and amazing CGI planes...check it out.

Incredibly cute girl in a leather jacket and beret on the train today...she was cracking up...I'm assuming because the train was crowded and she was stuck in the middle with nothing to hold on to...dang...wish there was an opportunity to be suave and be like "hey, hang onto my manly arm, why don't you"...but of course not...

In any case...office party tonight...should be interesting.

A few more days! Hang in there!

Identity Crisis finale is out today! 2 and a half hours and I am sooooo at the comic store.

ahh crap.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004 09:35 a.m.

Well, I just got my schedule for January and February and it doesn't look good. Just a lot of crap that it looks like I am going to have to do in the next few days before I take off...and a load more crap to do...and so forth.

Finishing up some stuff here and then...wait...that's all I have been thinking about work and Christmas shopping.

Gonna head to Best Buy after work today to see if I can finish up some Christmas shopping and whatnot... pretty much all. Everything else is a blur, really.

RW/RR...Tonya is hot... BFOzz Ahmad is a spazz...

So, pretty much everything is the same.

Ugh...work is pissing me off pretty bad.

more weekend stuff...
Monday, December 13, 2004 09:19 a.m.

Weekend turned out to be busier than expected... ended up going to see Ocean's Twelve with Chris, Fred, and Justin...man, the old theater in our neighborhood has not changed...and it's awful! I remember when they first built it...like 15 years ago...and ugh...they should really remodel it...the screen had this faded yellow line down the middle...very distracting...but the movie was great...I don't know why the critics didn't like it...I thought it was better than the first one...

My little brother is a weird kid...he stayed up really late to watch Dodgeball...AND...The Passion of the Christ with Chris...I haven't even seen it yet...

Sunday...more cousins, more family stuff...went over to my folks place and had Korean BBQ with all the trimmings...kinda funny how it came really close to the actual stuff you'd get in the restaurant...

Loads of work to do...last full week of work for the year. I am so psyched! Lots of crap too.

Oh, Survivor finale...Chris won...which is fair...he played well. Twila got so much crap for the lie she told...I guess to the women...Twla's lies and Chris' lies were "different" ...I can understand that. But man...poor Julie (so hot) and Eliza (hot, too)got played...PLAYED! Such is Survivor.

Anyhoo...it's Monday...let's get this week over with!

more thoughts on Maynard...
Saturday, December 11, 2004 06:43 p.m.

Another thing about Maynard...his very spiritual approach to things:

He comes from a very Southern Baptist upbringing...and dealt with a lot of hypocrisy growing up...his mother Judith (hence the APC song) was parlayzed but was a devout Christian...Maynard wrote the song about the hypocrisy about how people commented on her faith and yet...spoke about her behind her back. He quoted Genesis 1:1 and said that God is love and light...not the fundamentalist view of things... I can see his hurt and his anger...and I really want people to take their faith personally and respect other people's perspectives...like many other things...we don't know someone's entire background and history. Be sensitive about the personal struggles that make a person who they are. Understanding faith and living it... are two completely different things. I know what I believe in and that will remain with me forever...I'll share it with you no problem...but man, on both sides of the fence...so amny preconceived notions...anyways...I'm babbling... basically, faith is personal....and complicated.

And he can write songs called "Stinkfist"... with lyrics like:

"Finger deep within the borderline. Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax turn around and... take my hand."

Cheeky monkey!

sleepytiredweekendentry
Saturday, December 11, 2004 06:18 p.m.

Well..Friday... work went soooo slow...but I've got a bunch of stuff on my plate that I need to finish up before I take off for the holidays.

Went Christmas shopping after work to get some stuff for friends and kids...then met up with Grace for dinenr at Miracle Grill.

I've known Grace since my sophomore year in college...wow... and I know her well..and yet...I really don't. I had no idea she liked Metallica and old school metal... no idea that she loved junky chocolate... lots of other things that I learn about her everytime we hang out. It's weird how open we've come to be with each other. If anything...she's one of the people that I admire and respect above anything.

She's the type of girl that is just dangerous... in the fact that she is so successful, brilliant, gorgeous, level-headed, funny, and considerate. One of those girls that you know is way out of your league...but you can't help but be drawn to. She's a mystery too... we've never really hung out with anyone besides the two of us ... it's odd how you can know someone so well..and the moment you see them interact with someone else...you realize that they have this whole other side to them that you never really saw...but you realize is obviously them.

In any case... our plans to hang out more is great. Looks like we are going to spend New Year's together and just go to some bar and get sloshed. Eh...can't think of a better way to spend it...since most of my friends have all gone and coupled off.

And a word of advice to all you people who are dating or have been dating...if you know that someone is single and miserable... please don't go sputtering on about your significant other or about things pertaining...because it just brings up bad memories...and before you know it...your single friend starts throwing a pity party...for one.

In any case... I'm really tired...but can't really do the marathon sleep thing. I'm feeling exhausted right now, but I better not take a nap...ugh.

Got a copy of the international release of "House of Flying Daggers" yesterday and watched it with Chris this afternoon...I loved the movie... though I'm sure lots of people won't like the plot twists and turns...I thought it fit the whole wuxia pian genre...but unless you really understand the genre...you might not like it...maybe that's why Chris was complaining...but one thing you can't deny... Zhang ZhiYi is HOT.

Another thign I picked up was the Perfect Circle Amotion set... (yeah, I know it was on my wishlist...but I had a coupon and I couldn't resist.) And if you know me...you knwo that I love my metal/rock and I love sketch comedy...but in the case of Tool/ A Perfect Circle...namely Maynard James Keenan...it's so weird and.... perfect.

Maynard is one of my fave singers... he has such an amazing voice and he's a brilliant guy. And if you know anything about Tool and APC...the songs tend to be very moody and serious...but they ahve this wicked sense of humor too. (i.e. Maynard writes a song about anal sex on almost every album...just for the heck of it.)

In any case... i think the disparity makes the music and the artist that much mroe interesting. It's somehting I aspire to. My music tends to be very seriosu too...but I'm a total doofball on stage...

ack...digtressing... Maynard has been on Mr. Show (and you know I love that show) and stars in Bikini Bandits films...which is so odd! He's such an oddball too. He wears this long goth brown wig when he plays with APC...and with Tool...he hides in the shadows or paints himself or wears costumes...

And another thing...APC is made of Maynard (from Tool), James Iha (Smashing Pumpkins) and Jeordie (from Marilyn Mansion), Billy (from NIN)... is APC an alt-rock super group...heck yeah!

Anyways...jsut gushing about some of my fave music.

AND...i was up until 3:30 last night learning "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" by U2...man...that's a good song...but the second part of the bridge is awfully hard to sing...ack.

I am so sleepy...and yet...weirdly wired. Go figure.

Check out the sidebar...I'm gonna update it with some fun(y) stuff.

1/4 Life Crisis...part 4 ?
Friday, December 10, 2004 09:36 a.m.

Is it possible to have 4 quater life crisisesesses... because I feel like I am going through another one. Yeah, I kind of want to quit my job... I really shouldn't be in this industry. I'm seriously thinking about interning at a magazine...or giving up everything to work for DC or Marvel...seriously...no joke.

It's just getting so corporate here now...they are "suggesting" that we only take 30 minute lunches now... and everything is just getting to the pointof "being watched" or "on the clock"...don't they get that most of these insane people here are writers and editors that are essentially creative (as well as OCD) people that can't go by a certain set of strictures? I can't work in those kinds of conditions...I can't be "on the clock" I work in fitful bursts where I can accomplish superhuman feats...and then I hit walls...

In any cae, yeah...I'll be editing my resume soon.

Good news of the day...ran out to Toys R US and got the Darth Vader Mask for my cousin! wooo...only 2 left! And I nabbed one...

Home... tv...Survivor is geting down to the wire...as long as Scout or Twila don't win...played some guitar...and...

Started working on my novel last night...wooo...soem good stuff. I guess I'm almost starting from scratch...but man...by January 2006 I better have a first draft done. That goes on the top of my resolutions list.

Dinner and maybe movie with Grace tonight...and some more Christmas shopping...

Ack...work to do... back to it.

TGIF...Lord, help me.

Sad news...
Thursday, December 9, 2004 09:32 a.m.

Oh man...some sad news on the metal front...Dimebag Darrell from Pantera was shot and killed when some insane fan rushed the stage and shot him...some other people in the audience were killed and some of the members of damageplan got hurt too. Insane. Dimebag was one of the most amazing metal guitarists...he was a crazy mutha too...but he made some really kickass tunes...and his guitar skills were amazing. I know you probably aren't a metalhead...but say a prayer for the guy. Man, concerts are supposed to be fun and a release for fans...things like this make me so sad.

Ok...DIGRESSION! let's just not talk about that or work...comics are good though...I thought the finale of Identity Crisis was going to come out this week...but I guess it's going to be next week instead.Eh...I can wait...but yet...I can't!

Killers concert on MTV last night! I was inspired to learn the bass line to "Jenny Was A Friend of Mine"...it isn't that hard...but my bass is all out of whack...so if I had a better bass it would be waaay easier to play...sigh. AND I figured out the keyboard part in literally 2 minutes. It sounds great...and it's fun to play...

Other than that...jsut trying to make it through the week, you know? I need to get out there and just make somethign happen in my life. Perhaps...shhhh...new job...well, I think I should look...and other big changes... we'll see.

In any case... might be going Christmas shopping later tonight and tomorrow...ugh. SHould not stress me out...but it does.

Hang in there, kiddies. Week is almost over.

I know what I want for Christmas!!!
Wednesday, December 8, 2004 03:28 p.m.

HAHAHAH OMG! This is what I want!!!

You know how I have a thing for goth girls...well the ultimate goth girl Dita Von Teese (Marilyn Manson's fiancee and "Modern Day Bettie Page" pin-up girl) has 8 X 10's for sale on her website...

And get this: You can get them personalized...not only signed...but signed with a kiss!

I would love, LOVE one of these... and she cosplays too! I think there is one where she is a cowgirl and one in like a top hat and fishnets or something... (can't really look at work)

Just not something too smutty. I want to frame it and hang it up... She looks like a movie star in some of them...and then in others it's like OMG! Hide the kids!

Who is gonna get me one ?!?!? It's like 30 bucks or something though... don't make me buy one for myself!

http://www.ditasdomain.com/sweets/photos.php?sid=0

*sigh... poor sad Abe.

Dodge, duck, dive, dip...and dodge
Wednesday, December 8, 2004 09:27 a.m.

Ugh...work isn't exactly getting any easier... things are stills talled...not sure what is going to get done in the next few weeks...arrgh. I still have a bunch of crap to take care of... don't I always?

The Lindsay Lohan CD was actually better than I expected... the single, "Rumors" is probably the worst song on the CD...it's labeled as a "bonus track"...since the rest of the album is more rock...kind of Avril meets Kylie style... than the Britney-esque single... but I'm biased...you know how much I love LL.

Dodgeball...could have been funnier...but I thought it was enjoyable enough. There were plenty of headshots and crotch shots...and that "pingsplat!" sound of the dodgeball is sooooo sweet and brings back so many memories.

Christmas shopping is stressing me out...one of my baby cousins wants a "Darth Vader Voice Changer Mask"...which apparently is a hot item...can't seem to find it! Dang...must go trawl through the stores this weekend.

Was talking to a friend ...and realized that people having "trust issues" is so common... we try not to bring our "emotional baggage" with us...but when people repeatedly break your trust...it just enforces all the things in your past... sometimes you have to just realize...that people are deceitful in ways that we can't predict...until they are wedged deeply in our lives.

I've definitely made the mistake of letting people in...and then discovering the glaringly awful things they harbor inside...when it's too late...so... nowadays...I'm so wary of letting people in... in the end...I've found that I've grown increasingly more inclined to cut people off, if anything... I'm not very happy with the way I've come to see the world... Lord knows, I want to be optimistic...but when person after person lets you down... it's hard to keep in the sun.

What I find attractive in a woman now has changed so much...it's basically: sanity, punctuality, honesty, and being heterosexual. HAHHAHAH... seriously... being attractive and having a good personality have just become bonuses... but man... the first 4 things...seem so elusive these days.

Ok...enough whining...it's comics day. Hang in there...week is half over!

Fireworks go BOOM!
Tuesday, December 7, 2004 03:45 p.m.

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/fireworkfactory.html

Clip of a fireworks factory that caught fire... the beginning with the bottle rockets is kinda of interesting but the end is INSANE. It's like a mushroom cloud.

And NO, it's not a scary pop-up video thing...ok, sunjoo!??! Trust me !

dreary...
Tuesday, December 7, 2004 09:27 a.m.

Weather is going to be crappy for the next few days...rain and other such precipitation...as long as there aren't any tears! *drama.

Work is still kind of pissing me off...not much you can do about that. Left at 5 on the dot...forget this happy crap!

Did some grocery shopping for the first time in awhile...watched Trading Spouses...man, where do they find these nutty people...this show makes some "liberal" people look very close minded... seems to be the running theme...showing the hypocrisy of some folks' way of life...Real World/Road Rules: Ok...Tonya is the hottest girl on the show...agreed? And Battle for Ozzfest just makes me want to go see Ozzy this summer...anyone else with me?

Thus is the sad state of my life...food and tv.

Hanging out with Grace on Friday...and have to get going on Christmas shopping soon. My credit card rewards have me loaded up for Best Buy... which I might spend on myself since Dodgeball and Lindsay Lohan's CD comes out today! woooo.

So, happy Best Buy day to one and all.

interesting weekend...and then not.
Monday, December 6, 2004 09:54 a.m.

Friday...had half a day of work and then went to Bowlmor with my coworkers...actually had a good time. We split up into 4-5 teams...my team was Lisa, Amy, Kathleen...all of which were cool...and Allsion, who should be in traction, was there with us too... the beer was flwoing readily...and Steve, our boss...was the "ball whisperer" he had a very pro stance...and he was either kissing or whispering to the ball...in any case...he was the best.

Afterwards a bunch of us went to a bar and had more drinks...I was at the end of the table...awkward because it turns out the two people I was sitting with were a former couple...who were still kind of hooking up...despite the fact that one of them was dating someone else. Hot office gossip! Dang! I had no idea... but apparently everyone else did... in any case...I learned alot.

Went home and sobered up. Saturday...was supposed to hang out with someone...but no news... wtf? Urrgh...so I ended up staying in and recording all weekend instead of moping around. I did a rockin' version of "Sweet Surrender" by Sarah McLachlan and an acoustic version of "Here Comes the Rain Again" by the Eurythmics...go to my music page to check them out...some of the best covers I've done so far...

Watch Mythbusters marathon...I ahve the hugest crush on Kari...she's on the build team...it's the punk-rock redhead thing...so cute! Here's her bio: http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/mythbusters/meet/meet_04.html

Other than that...cleaning up...went home to build Ikea chairs for my Mom. And that was pretty much my entire weekend... more false starts and anti-social behavior...typical Abe.

Blech...Monday.

99 problems, but a b*tch ain't one.
Friday, December 3, 2004 09:29 a.m.

Finished watching the Jay-Z/Linkin Park Mash Up DVD yesterday...some really interesting stuff...too bad Jigga didn't really know LP's stuff...but LP new all of Jay's rhymes... how unfair is that?

Work...blech...we are going bowling this afternoon...at this point I don't care...my stupid book is late anyways...so it's just going to be later...still haven't received it... I guess correx will have to wait until Monday...sigh.

Started Christmas shopping yesterday...actually ordered more stuff for myself, probably...but at least I started! I'll have to hit Best Buy and some other stores in a few days to see what I can grab for my loved ones...kids are so hard to shop for nowadays...when you ask them what they want...they reply: "I dunno" or it will be something really expensive...sheesh...

Had lunch with Doris and Gloria at Grand Central last night...good to see Gloria FINALLY..it's been months. Her new job seems really hectic...but fun. I miss having her around on IM...we talked about TV shows all the time...

Night at home...ahhh... Survivor is getting good...and something that came up during lunch... I said I would rather see a Sopranos cast member on Joey before someone from Friends...and last night Bobby Bacala was the pit boss in the Vegas episode! I loved it!

Going to start recording some more stuff for the website...maybe three more covers...I was thinking of "here comes the rain again," a rocking version of "sweet surrender" and maybe "(Christmas) Baby, Please Come Home" for the holiday season... we'll see...

Other wise...things are bleh...still not sure what I'm doing this weekend...oh, well...will find out soon enough.

TGIF! Half day for me...then bowling!

Mercury in retrograde...
Thursday, December 2, 2004 09:28 a.m.

Again...I'm not going to be a believer in this...but man... what timing. The book that I've been working on has faced more adversity....the artist that designed my book and was working on the corrections... her hard drive evaporated and my book was lost...so for the time being...they are trying to recover what they can...but it doesn't look like it's going to make it to print on time. Urrrgh. So computers, communication, etc... bad news... *shakes fist at Mercury...

Otherwise... comics make my day...picked up New Avengers...guess who is on the team...Cap, Iron Man, SPIDER-MAN, WOLVERINE, Luke Cage, SPIDER-WOMAN, and the Sentry...how weird is that? And Daredevil and Electro were in the first issue too... cool!

Hung out with Anice last night...and what they said about her apartment was right...INSANE...her uncle and aunt are loaded and she's babysitting the place for two years! Had to leave the apartment after awhile because my cat allergies were driving me nuts...

Went to Starbucks and had a great chat about work (she's interested in publishing and music), church, our mutual friends, families, and past relationships... weird thing is...she is friends with E's best guy friend...ack...brought back some bad memories there...but all in all...she's very cool...eric was trying to set her up with Chris...which makes it all the more funny... I'm not sure they would work out...but she is definitely very cool... and does have moments where she reminds me of Ann...

Home...showered and then rushed off to airport to pick up my Dad... he came home wiht literally...20 packs of ramen...meaning 5 bags of ramen in each pack...he jsut brough back suitcases of food... pretty funny. I guess the ramen in Taiwan is way better...

Exhausted...jsut been really tired this week with all this running around...and work isn't making me feel much better at this point...I'm just waiting for things to go right...ack.

I seriously need to think about what I want for 2005... help me through this, Lord!

It's been tough...but I'm surviving...hold on to your horses, kiddies...the road still looks rough.

Archived...and other stuff.
Wednesday, December 1, 2004 09:28 a.m.

Wow...it's Decemember. But the 50 degree weather and the torrential rains sure don't make it feel like it. It's a really crappy day outside.

After archiving the last month of blog entries... it looks like my three year blog-iversary is coming up. December 20, 2001...that was the first entry...my, how things have changed. My life has seriously gone from the highest highs to the lowest lows...well, in recent memory...in that short span of time. I'm glad you've been with me through it all.

Getting a little nervous that my book isn't back yet... what's going to happen if I don't get it back today? I'm getting more and more freaked out... I hope the artist gets back to me today.

Picked up Spidey 2 and the Linkin Park/Jay-Z CD...dang, that shiznat is hot... makes you want to drop it (ok, I shouldn't even try)...but the DVD and live performances sounded a lot better than the CD... well, most likely due to the fact that I've got these tiny speakers here at work.

In any case, after work...met up with Sofia and her friend Lynn...I was supposed to talk to Lynn about publishing and the industry...but we ended up at this new Korean restaurant and we all chatted for hours... I can't beleive I've known Sofia for so long... wow... life is funny how people come in and out of your circle...very odd.

Lynn was actually really cool...she's a little older...but still... great convo and kinda cute...hahah...I wonder if Sofia was trying to set us up or what...in any case...they invited me out on Saturday to go ice skating (no way in h!) but I might just go to hang out... that is unless "M" wants to hang out.

Yup...still supposed to hang out with her this weekend at some point. I was wondering why we haven't been talking/IMing/emailing recently...turns out work has been super hectic with her boss going into surgery...and her brother is going to Iraq...wow, that's a lot of stress... but she does want to hang out...and hey, I might as well give it a shot at this point... who knows, I might actually like her.

F train derailed last night...and you could still smell some smoke at the 34th street station...hope things get cleared up soon.

Sigh..ok...back to the grind... happy comics day! stay dry.