while on MC from work last sunday, i caught the other sister and my best friend's wedding on channel 5. i've never watched the former before, and it made me cry. pretty much everything on tv made me cry that day; i was feeling shitty and having a major pms attack. and most of all, the show alone had two weddings. ever since i fell in love, as cheesy as that may sound, i get very sentimental watching movies. i hated autumn in new york cos winona ryder's character really got on my nerves, but now, i may give it another shot. i think i'd still hate everything else about it.

i get especially teary watching weddings, and even worse when i watch a mother carrying her newborn child. i transform into an emotional ball of mush, god forbid you come near me without a kleenex. ok, as i was saying, the other sister had two weddings, and my best friend's wedding another one, so you could imagine the state i was in. then i get all hallucinatory and little thought bubbles just pop up all over my living room as i imagine what my wedding would be like...

the location:

1. a huge cathedral somewhere romantic with a very grand organ and stained glass and velvet seats and ivory pillars and a high ceiling, or

2. a sprawling landscape garden with lawn chairs and tables with linen tablecloths, white pavillions, water fountains. cf. the garden decor in my best friend's wedding

3. a hawaii-type wedding a la matt le blanc & melissa mcknight. swapping self-written vows on top of a cliff overlooking the ocean, treating guests to a weekend of water activities and surfing lessons, being entertained by hula and fire dancers. leis all around, blissed out luau-style.

mode of transport:

1. the swanky limo
2. the swanky limo flanked by three harleys
3. the horse-drawn carriage
4. the scooter

aisle style:

1. john galliano - i love what he did for gwen stefani!
2. an antique veil would be nice.
3. pearls or diamonds?
4. jimmy choos
5. i think a white wedding's still the best.

randoms:

2. no rice to be thrown please; blow bubbles or toss rose petals or whatever. tossing coins would help greatly in funding the honeymoon.

3. i want a wedding singer. the wedding song? nothing too sappy or cheesy i suppose.

4. i've always wanted fireworks.

5. oh oh oh! i want those sparklers lighting up the road side when we drive down it, just like in my best friend's wedding. it's so beautiful.

it's not too much to ask for right? i didn't even specify where i want the wedding ring from! so many options, so many choices. now, i just need a man, a proposal, and a tycoon to sponsor it all.

my best friend's wedding is one of my favourite movies of all time. okay, it's a fluffy romantic comedy, no flashy cinematography of any sort, no big awards, and julia roberts sports my least favourite hairstyle of hers ever. but isn't this the movie that made you wish you had a gay friend? isn't this the movie that churned out so many quotable quotes ("He's got you on a pedestal and me in his arms.")? didn't this movie make you run out to buy its soundtrack? anyway, i find michael extra appealing in there. give me a fluffy romantic comedy any day, but only if they come like this.

maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing!

mel and jess turn three today!

sometimes i wonder when i'll ever be rid of you ;)

you smile, you smile... oh and then the spell was cast.

notice the date? notice the time? it's for real: i'm home on a saturday night. so that's how pathetic tv is on nights like these.

so far i've endured two ill-stricken nights of sore throat, runny nose, phlegm blocking up all my respiratory passages; it's like i've been to hell, and i'm still there. dramatics seem to be one of the more pronounced symptoms. and all that on a night when two friends are having birthdays, and my class is having a bbq. i feel giddy and my nose can't stop, i need a nose plug; i keep crying cos i feel the onset of my period.

strepsils, panadol extra, panadol cold and flu remedy, bottles of herbal tea and water,pi pa gao, 13 hours of sleep... but yet. it's time for more drastic measures. by the way girls, the activa auntie told me that consuming things that are too 'cooling' will delay or keep your period from coming. no wonder my period's late; its always been like clockwork. i ate pineapple, and had herbal tea the other day.

let's make a list of all that makes one feel worst in the world, physical or emotional (as experienced by me so far). feel free to add to the list:

1. crying so much before bed or having a bad case of the runny nose that your nose is totally blocked; you can't breathe except through your mouth which will dry it out. you're forced to sleep facing the ceiling on your back because your mucus is so watery that it flows left and right and blocks your nostrils whenever you try to sleep on your side. especially if you can't stand imbalance of any kind.

2. food poisoning. you can't stand straight. your butthole's on fire; you ask god for a butt plug. you camp by your toilet bowl through the night. the doctor injects you in your rectum.

3. vomitting. your mouth's on fire because of all that pH 1 hydrochloric acid you hurled up. you burp. you smell your own vomit and you vomit some more. you tear. you see the remnants of your dinner. oooo-er.

4. a very bad cavity. never, and i mean never, underestimate the power of a very bad cavity.

5. menstrual cramps, especially when they come at the level of my menstrual richter scale. it hits you, it doubles you over, it comes in waves, it makes you cry and wish you never were a woman. and best of all, it doesn't spare you and recurs the next month, and the next, and the next...

6. having someone you care about not give a damn about how you feel, or what you do. especially so for parents.

okay, mental block. the mucus has taken over. i would love to make a list of the best feelings in the world, but no. but be darn sure that having someone fussing over you on a sick, lonely saturday night ranks high up on that list.

hello, just for a little while.

haven't been around here recently because this blog gives me bad vibes with the disgustingly ugly angelfire logos replacing (temporarily i hope) my pretty jap girl. i miss her.

have also been really busy with odd jobs lately at the indoor stadium and the nail contours roadshow at, of all places, bukit panjang plaza. no offence to people who are residents there (hi faith!) but business there has been pretty slow, noone seems very interested in spa treatments and pretty buffers that can give you ultra shine. the auntie beside us selling activa blossom, activa condolisa scar heal, activa silhouette max, and kinohimitsu, was complaining that the people here are very 'kampong' and don't know how to enjoy life haha. auntie so hip man, with her tight pants and 'girls rock' sleeveless top. but anyway, residents at bukit panjang plaza listen up! i will be at the atrium today, friday and saturday selling nail products and spa treatment vouchers at attractive prices so come down and support me. i'm earning peanuts commission so please, have a heart.

i just checked my results, and calculated my cap for this semester. a far cry from what i got last sem, even though i kind of expected something not very impressive, considering i didn't even try stopping an uninvited visitor from always popping by my house the way i did last sem. quite sad :( it's funny cos i've never felt so much affected by results before, not even when i did well last sem and during the A levels by my own standards. expectations are a funny thing, especially when they've never existed before. now i don't know if sociology's all that right for me. time to buck up next sem!

since control over my results have been viciously wrenched away from me, i feel like channelling all of it into something else for now, like my health or weight. now now, before i'm being accused of being anorexic, i just want to get toned up a little. i've never had so much flab before! i also want to try out body contours' spa treatment and that kinohimitsu thing for detoxification and some well-deserved pampering. plus, i just saw fergie again on mtv, and her body is really to die for. operation fergie will be put into effect asap! by the way, i'll be drooling up close and personal (well, almost) cos i'll be working for the black eyed peas concert next week!

hey meishuang, i took the test too. go figure.

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she loves you.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is optimistic.

4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is that both of you can talk about everything and anything, no secret is kept.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything wrong after marriage.

7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much.

8. At this moment, you think of love as a committment for both parties.

it's funny how i like to torture myself. and how i lie to myself most of the time. i tell myself, oh my god i'm so tired i'm so gonna sleep immediately after i watch smallville/the o.c./whatever's on tv, but then i watch some more tv or i talk on the phone or i just come online like this, right now, checking my zillions of emails and blogging and chatting to msn randoms. then tomorrow, i will wake up so bloody early for my J-O-B looking like a total pufferfish panda plagued by a severe bout of water retention, cursing and swearing about why the hell i didn't sleep earlier, or why the hell do i have a J-O-B with working hours like these.

actually, i wouldn't mind having a job like mine run on for the rest of the holidays. it is pretty cool. we are paid 6 bucks an hour just for being loreal's hair models. our hair were dyed using the newly launched colours by loreal, and we just hafta follow the sales rep around to all the salons in singapore and show off the hair color. the sales rep drives us around, and they only talk about our hair colour for like a minute, and go on to talk about the promotions and we're free to like sit around and read magazines. we also get free colour shampoo and some hair spray. my very lovely sales rep today gave me a free loreal box! it looks like some kinda make up box. but i'm dying to get my hands on some conditioner, and the serum, and the ceramic mud. but tough luck, this job only lasts for 4 days. time to scout for another one soon. recommendations please.

i have been falling asleep in front of the computer a few times. with my eyes open some more, no shit. i just stare at the comp reading, and suddenly my head nods off, the way you do when you fall asleep but i see the whole thing happening while still reading the website. well, you should be sad if it was your blog i was reading.

bear with me. i am having typist's diarrhoea. the reason why i work is for that extra cash, no? but amazingly, i've unknowingly picked up some useful stuff from these part-time jobs, and i don't mean office supplies:

customer service at singapore post centre - that says about it. customer service, aka putting up with singaporeans' bullshit. some educated callers are especially snooty, they think they can throw around their lawyers' names just for threats' sake. and seriously, educated singaporean, the whole damn world doesn't revolve around you. and then you get the uneducated singaporean who spout hokkien at you and asking you whether you're being condescending just because he can't read the english written on the delivery advices. oh god, we just can't have everything can we. ok, whenever i used to have to call an unknown number, i'd practise what i had to say. but after this job, i just call up anyone without thinking. and this job also taught me to be a better liar. and also to prostitute my soul and pretend i am having the time of my life talking to a rude stranger when i'd rather be eating grass. oh i also learnt how to decipher article numbers.

ushering at the singapore indoor stadium - it suddenly occurred to me if i'd get sued for using the name of the company, cos the stadium is awfully anal about reputation. we can't be rude to the patrons, when we can totally be because there is only one indoor stadium in the whole of singapore. it's not like they won't ever attend another concert in the stadium if we were rude to them, especially if they totally deserved it, or if some old crooner like cliff richard was performing. ok but what did i learn? i learnt how to get to the indoor stadium. i learnt that crazed pre-teen fans of boybands (like blue) attending the mtv asia awards are the worst patrons of the lot. threatening to pee on the spot and bursting into tears will not get you into my good books girls.

short stint at united sq tuition centre - i learnt how to wrap books beautifully.

hair model for loreal - everyone should go to salons who have liaisons with loreal, because they actually make all the hairdressers take an exam to prove that they're not only qualified, but good. i never knew that hairdressers had to take exams! the specialization required by every job is very intriguing to me. the sales people and the hairdressers are so immersed in their way of work that they don't realise that whatever they're saying is totally alien to us. and hairdressing isn't exactly easy. RESPECT man. salons don't recommend products just to rip us off. the products really work. hair is just as important as skin. my hair would look perfect with the majilift 11.02 and 11.03 if my base hair colour was 4 instead of 3. ambidexterity really helps in blow-drying hair. it's horrible being a sales rep. ok, think i learnt more things than this, but i can't think now.

ok, i can't remember what jobs i've done already. just show me the money!

i am mighty displeased. i've been excitedly trying to install the sims hot date and it just totally fucks up on me no matter how many times i try to play it. okay, i know the sims is like, so yesterday but hey, it's the holidays! and i can find nowhere else to channel this pent up ball of energy and spirit of design.

watching the discovery channel makes me want to pack up and leave this place. carpe diem. doesn't that sound awfully romantic? a whole other world out there waiting for me, for us, beyond our books and our lecture notes and our bills bills bills and this stinkin' rat race that we've unwittingly gotten ourselves embroiled in. bull fighting and la tomatina in spain, muay thai and songkran in thailand, the hustlers of times square, haute couture of paris, the swiss alps, the tibetan lamas, sailing on the queen mary, go-karting, bungee-jumping, rat-eating; i want to see it all, i want to breathe it all, i want to live it all.

i don't want to have nothing to tell my kids. i don't want to say i spent my lifetime before you came along studying hard and having the kind of fun that was meaningless and half-fulfilling at best. i can feel this wanderlust building up inside me; bubbling slowly but surely, like cold red bean soup or clam chowder that's been put on the stove over a fire set to maximum. hmmm.

i never thought about money alot. until i started watching mtv cribs, it's always been it'd be nice to have it but if not, i'll survive. laidback, unmotivated, less-than-passionate, indifferent. but now i want to live the high life, i want to get special treatment, i want to be able to make my sims house come to life. watching 'the real beckhams' can do that to you. even if i don't have a hot footballer husband to give me a disgustingly huge emerald ring, i'd want to be rich enough to buy it for myself. and of course, to give my parents a fantastic life after 65. i've promised my mom and dad i'd pay for their retirement in las vegas. with the nurses, dieticians, and all. so i'm hoping that the book jess lent me, guide to becoming rich without cutting up your credit cards by the author of rich dad poor dad, would kickstart me to realising my dreams. once i get down to reading it that is.

whatever it is man, i don't wanna be busting my ass off at some dead end 9-5 desk job for the rest of my life. if i do... oh baby let me die.

i also want to talk to animals.