today's sexuality lecture has got to be one of the most thought-provoking, emotion-inducing, heart-tugging. we watched this video if these walls could talk 2, a trilogy about three lesbian couples in three different decades. we only had time to watch the first and third narratives, but they were enough to show us how perspectives have changed. the first story was set in 1961 (starring vanessa redgrave and some other woman who really looked like a man), and the third story was set in 2000 (starring sharon stone and ellen degeneres).

i almost cried watching both stories, the 1961 story tears of sadness and anger, and the 2000 story tears of happiness. although i really couldn't stop wondering who took those photos of the 1961 women - they were in poses like one on the ladder, the other hugging her leg; both on the boat rowing away; one lying on the other's lap. they were like totally posed but yet candid. hmmm. i am an anal tv critic. i love sepia photographs, they're so rustic.

1961 story: edith tree and abigail henley were schoolteachers at the same school thirty years ago, and they've been lovers for fifty years. they lived together in a house with lots of bird figurines, a very granny-style house. they're so sweet and so old. one night, while edith makes tea, abby goes to the yard and tends to the birdhouse atop a ladder; she finds a starling and its eggs. the kettle sings, abby gets a stroke, and falls off the ladder. edith sends her to the hospital, spends the night in the waiting room, and wakes up to find out from the nurse at the counter that her lover passed away at 3.42 am in the morning. because she is technically not abby's family, she calls up abby's nephew, who freaking does not even remember much about his aunt, and yet has the cheek to bring along his insensitive gold-digging wife and daughter to clear out the house of abby's stuff, and ask edith to move out or pay rent. it was just heart-wrenching. especially the part when she called up the nephew and had to hold back her tears and mask her shaky voice, and how she kept all their couple photographs and keepsakes in a box under the bed just because the family was coming.

2000 story: fran and kal, yuppie lesbian couple who want to have kids so badly, they approached their gay friends who backed out. in the end, they approach a sperm bank. they're so so so so so so sweet. sharon stone is a real sweetheart, and did i mention she's hot? i'm in love. they had this very titillating love scene. i'm in lust. ok but seriously, it was lighthearted and real fun to watch. it makes me want to shack up with my other half in a nice comfy apartment with a nice clean bathroom and big soft bed and make brownies and watch kids play at the local school and have my own kids. although angmoh kids are way cuter than asian kids in my opinion. i want to putter around in my own house. its one of those times when i'm thinking that cohabitation is the way to go. with cohabitation, even your bills will seem to have little hearts and flowers stamped on them and filing income tax returns will seem like the sexiest thing to do.

i desperately want to watch the second story, which has college lesbian michelle williams falling in love with masculine tough biker chick chloe sevigny.

the other day we watched another video about this church in los angeles called the metropolitan community church, which advocates the message that God loves everyone, even homosexuals. 80 per cent of the church's followers, even members of the clergy, are homosexual. the church was set up to reconcile homosexuals and religion, because they were conditioned to believe that God cannot love them because of their sexual orientation. these people really believe in this message, and it really makes us stop and think: since it is possible for them to set up a church propounding a message that has been opposed by other religious authorities for ages, it is obvious that all these taboos are socially constructed. even if people insist that this church is wrong, that it goes against christian teachings, will God actually come down to earth and tell them? i mean, this way, anything is possible. its amazing how much of our world we take for granted. even religions were made by man. why do we worship and fear the teachings of something that we set up with our own hands? love is love, whether its between a man and a woman, or a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. (though the sexual relations do not apply to man and animal - that's just sick.) why should people be so opposed to something that inherently stems from one's love for another? it's bewildering.

there is this song i've been searching for high and low. it's called "no regrets" and the original singer was billie holiday, but i'm looking for the version that was played on this sex and the city episode about relationships being the religion of the 90's. help!

so my birthday and valentine's day came and went. to those who got me presents, thanks a million, they were lovely and really thoughtful :) though i haven't touched the jazz cd from tony and some other stuff still lying in their boxes and my cupboard. i have this thing. i keep lots and lots of unopened stuff, thinking that one day i will use them but i don't, until they finally expire or rot to pieces. stuff like facial wash samples, shampoo samples, perfume...

it surprises me every year to see who sends me birthday messages. i've been negligent in wishing some special people out there, or even not so special ones whose birthdays i happen to find out was coming. and it's just humbling and really nice to know who actually bothers. it also makes me feel bad. so thanks to all you guys who remembered :)

sentosa on my birthday was great! we all got something we hoped to call a tan, none of them golden brown toasty types. certain people also got a little extra something courtesy of sentosa... sandfly bites! i was given a special simulating experience of how a live burial would be like... being buried in sand was no joke man. i could hardly breathe, it was terribly claustrophobic! of course, being the great sport that i am, i still smiled for the camera, and i didn't even mind the big boobs and thunder thighs. then jess came to dinner with my family at night and had a good time bashing the government and bitching about his superiors to my dad. i think my parents are re-evaluating my taste in men.

dim sum on valentine's doesn't seem as odd as it sounds. i am very excited cos i just found out which new dim sum places to check out!

i am in love with chloe's hair in the new season of smallville. i am incoherent. i am just blogging to let you guys know i'm still on the same planet as you. physically, at least. i am blogging to thank the birthday well-wishers. i am blogging to thank you, for making everyday seem like valentine's day, and for making me feel loved :)

back in secondary school, haircuts were a lavish, pre-planned affair. whenever someone announced she was going for a haircut, at least one other person will want to do the same. we'd plan where to go, who'd be going, and most of the time, the haircut would be the last thing on our minds. so it's a common affair when two or three of us get haircuts together.

we didn't need magazines; we'd request to sit next to each other and talk the whole haircut away. we'd laugh over who looks the dumbest with the 'turban', and we'd give approving (or disapproving) looks over the results. i remember chia getting really upset cos the hairdresser cut her fringe too short and too square. she moped for days.

i miss those days when decisions to get our hair cut were spontaneous, we never think twice about getting it done, and the whole thing was so much more than about aesthetics, it was a sort of bonding that we took for granted. mexxis, chez vous, the scene, it's hairy... we left behind much of our youthful exuberance when our locks got chopped.

now, getting a haircut is a lonelier affair. i only bring my boyfriend, who goes off to shit, have a couple of smokes and browse through comics in sunny bookstore. but at least, he says nice things about it in the end.

hardly anyone cuts hair for fun nowadays (maybe my brother, who gets a haircut every two weeks.) pockets are tighter, we care more about how it'll turn out, and i know some people who've had the same hairstyle for years. where has our experimental spirit gone! will carol ever give herself another durian haircut? will chia continue to be a slave to rebonding? will i ever get dreadlocks?

so, what do you think of my one-week old haircut?