i've been awake for barely 7 hours. yes, i woke up at 5.45 pm today, a new record for the year! i know i'm a pig. everyone, call me babe.

hey man, i think i had a hangover yesterday, on a shot of vodka mandarin orange. haha. i declare myself the world's lousiest drinker! (after chia, of course.) ok, be grateful i didn't faint or puke. i had the biggest splitting headache, i felt like it was gonna explode, and i think it's also due to the fact that i got to bed at 7 am. to be honest, i really hate drinking. i hate the taste of alcohol, i hate that feeling in your stomach, i hate puking. if i could have my own way, i'd make it so that we only had taste buds for sweetness and spiciness. i can do with sourness, get rid of bitterness. i don't really know where alcohol falls under, but i really could do without it. if alcohol tasted really sweet, i'd chug it.

i was just telling a friend the other day that i'd never ever date a guy who can't take chilli or spicy stuff. how in the world would we ever eat my katong laksa, my prata, my sambal kangkong, sambal sotong, sambal stingray together?! i have a friend who can't take anything spicy at all; not even tomyam instant noodles. the spiciest thing she takes is pepper. she eats chicken rice plain. it's incredulous. i thank my lucky stars that jess is a thai.

merry merry christmas y'all! *hugs*

the past few days have been nothing short of eventful and not to mention, oh-so-heartwarmingly lovely.

i was a happy little girl on monday, cos after two whole years of christmas away from the rgs clique, we finally came together again for another (pre-)christmas dinner at jean's place! this time we also threw in one of our sleepovers. the tomyam steamboat was heavenly, i was one of the sole survivors still eating away at the steamboat table after everyone KO at the sofa playing with the cute little rabbit. we ate a hell lot of food: ben & jerry's, chips, nuts, rojak, charsiew fan choy, shepherd's pie, chicken pie... i just couldn't get enough of everything man!

ok so the texas chainsaw massacre sucked. sorry guys! we should have watched like some chick flick funny movie. we took so many photos, and yea someone please send them to me. never realised how much i miss all of you guys until we do something like this and laugh ourselves silly at all the memories, all the old jokes, all the little things we remember about each other that we hold so dear to our hearts.

love you guys... and thanks for making my christmas a very lovely one.

on another note, jess's best friend is back from the US of A. i've never seen him get so excited about another person before, unless that person is a car. or owns mercedes the company or something. i'm glad he's happy this christmas, and i don't mind giving him away these few weeks or so, hehe. merry christmas darling, love you.

this entry doesn't do any justice to this bittersweet feeling i have about christmas this year, but thoughts are running all around in my head i can't pin them down at all so you'll hafta excuse me.

i suddenly felt like blogging. that's weird because i hardly ever feel like blogging, not recently, not even in these past few months.

i just felt like telling you, or anyone at all, that i've never watched a single Godfather movie in my life.

something in me is also egging me to watch foreign films like amelie from montmarte, and the taxi series. somebody recommend some good foreign films please, before our holidays dwindle to an end in about two weeks.

i better go pack for the sleepover at jean's. tonight sees some piping hot steamboat! oh, which reminds me, jane koh meow jun and maria nanda sathivelu share the award for "most elusive friend", it's almost impossible to get you guys!

our darling carol xie meiling is back from glasgow! (when i first uploaded glasgow love theme, i was thinking of carol getting married to this song *aww*) and what a memorable night it has been, our first meeting ever since she came back. we had a night out at zouk! no, not to dance the night away, but to catch a glimpse (or more) of the oh-so-fuckin'-gorgeous vj utt. dear god, did we get more than a glimpse.

it was some gatsby hair show thingy and donita rose and utt were hosting it yadda yadda yadda that's not important. we ogled, we shrieked, we giggled; in short, we acted like total groupies, aka utt's whores. (i wanted to use sluts, but utt's sluts just sounded wrong) we could have passed off as the media, with jinling and carol having their hands glued to their cameras and taking like hundreds of pictures. he is soooooooooo yummy!

the moment came. we beckoned, we spoke, we scored. so utt actually remembered jinling from her mtv internship days with him, and she introduced us. he said oh hello carol and melody (i'm quoting jinling here) so yay at least our names passed his lips once. even if it will never again. so twin, i love you cos you kept your promise!

before we met him: carol thinking oh god how i'd kill to rape utt in one corner

hi everyone, meet my new toy boy...

after it all, we had a surreal moment...

fave bits of the night:

1. carol: i always ask [my boyfriend] why he gets jealous when i talk about other guys and not when i talk about utt, and he would say, "cos you'd never get to meet utt!" hahahahahaha... not anymore man!

2. carol, while trying to take a photo of utt, screams: argh! donita's bloody big head is blocking!! (i bet everyone around us heard. poor donita.)

3. jinling: hahaha scully we appear in JUICE! (and the next moment a lady approaches us to ask us for a photo for JUICE!)

the lady laughs like a horse. anyway i hope we don't get labelled as groupies of the night. check out your february issue of JUICE for our beautiful faces alright?

i believe we all have an alter ego whom we show only to our most intimate other half, and we show a different side to our close friends, and yet another to our family and every other person we come in contact with.

so when you spend most of your time with your other half, that alter ego will become more pronounced, it will tend to become your dominant personality. so if you've been shaped by your other half to be argumentative and to stand up for yourself, you will tend to become that way to even your friends. or if you're very giving to your other half, you'll end up the same way with your friends. i think.

so i felt i lost myself awhile ago, when my life revolved around him. now i see the bigger picture, i love my time with my good friends, and i feel myself turning back into the person i was long ago, before he came into my life. and now, at the same time, i feel myself drifting away from that girl in love. is it never possible to achieve a balance?

yesterday evening i was busy getting ready to get out of the house. i rushed to the bathroom to wear my contact lenses. after washing my face, instead of wearing my contact lenses, i started brushing my teeth. and i didn't even realise that i was brushing my teeth until i looked at myself in the mirror, foam dribbling down my mouth, and thought: what the fuck am i doing?! so yesterday evening i learnt never to rush and always to do things earlier (hear that eli?). i hate having to rush, it pisses me off greatly especially if someone is doing the rushing. i like to take my own sweet time, i don't want to forget my tissue or my blotters (even when 98 per cent of the time i don't need them), i don't want to end up walking downtown in an inside-out shirt and my dad's combat boots. but then again, maybe that's how fashions originate.

anyway, someone reminded me that we have 3 weeks left school starting. thanks, someone. just to remind y'all, we hafta bid for our modules on the 20th of December. which gives us 5 days to think and plan our timetable for next year. oh my god i think i have wiped my memory clean of how to bid. no worries people, just refer to my archives.

i wonder if my dear jinling managed to find our converse shoes in thailand. i am falling more and more in love with those chuck taylors. think i shall blow whatever money i have left on those striped babies once she gets back. whatever happened to new clothes and bags.

today i put cotton pads soaked in cold milk over my eyes in a bid to erase all signs of 6 am nights. the milk stung my eyes and dripped down all over my face so i shall say a permanent hello to dark circles and puffy eyes. my brother can have the rest of the packet of milk.

Choose a band/musician and answer the questions only in song titles by them.

Songs by Ash

Q: Are you male or female?
A: Girl from Mars

Q: How old are you?
A: Different Today

Q: Describe yourself.
A: Aphrodite

Q: How do some people feel about you?
A: Obscure Thing

Q: How do you feel about yourself?
A: I'm Gonna Fall

Q: Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend.
A: Shining Light

Q: Describe your views on significant others and crushes.
A: Candy

Q: Describe what you want.
A: Hulk Hogan Bubble Bath

Q: Describe how you live.
A: Season

Q: Describe how you love.
A: Lost in You

Q: Share a few words of wisdom.
A: Let it Flow

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba

the turtles ~ happy together

one teh ping to the person who can tell me which commercial this song is featured in! argh i'm going nuts trying to remember it...

i now understand why people should sleep at decent hours. for many a night i have been sleeping at dawn, and even once at 9-frickin'-am. at night everything is quiet, the wind is cool, everything is neat and dandy except on nights when you're having your period and you feel that you may die of cramps or flood the bed; or when you hear the cats screwing downstairs; or when you have insomnia and your mind is bombarded by all sorts of things like i bet chia is going to be late tomorrow or i wonder if jess is home yet or damn it i have to wake up at ___ am tomorrow and you feel like ripping your hair out cos you just cannot sleep.

but at least the night is quiet. when i get into bed in the morning, i hear the construction bang-bang-banging away on their whatever metal planks; i hear the kids downstairs screaming and crying while being forced to bathe in the toilet. daylight hurts my eyes, and stupid sales people always come knocking at the door or calling up the house just when i am having an orgasmic dream. and this afternoon at the chalet, while i was having a lovely dream, i hear handphones ringing, nonsensical and non-stop knocking on the door, and someone snoring like there was no tomorrow.

sleeping in the mornings also gives you humongous pimples on your face and dark circles under your eyes. sleeping late also cheats me of one meal a day. when i wake up, it's usually 4 pm and by right i should be eating brunch. but i'm always too lazy and end up eating only one meal a day, and that's dinner. i'm shedding pounds by the day. in no time this holiday will find me shrivelled up into a stink-thin, black-eyed zombie with a bad case of the zits.

i need sleeping pills. i need a bottle of the stuff right now...

help me i'm starving to death. haven't eaten a single thing today. i'm wondering if i should go fry an egg and some bacon but i realise there's no bread, only those hotdog rolls. which i think is really lame cos my mom likes to buy hotdog rolls without buying hotdogs. i feel like eating the 1 dollar hotdogs at ikea. no, i feel like swedish meatballs. and i really don't feel like washing an oily pan later. i guess all the weight i put on during my three-cups-of-milo-a-day exam period will all be lost ironically during the holidays when everyone pigs out.

i think i would make an excellent housewife. i did some vacuuming today and all the ironing. i always make sure i don't miss a single strand of hair on the floor, and no creases ever escape my eyes. i miss having a maid to do all that man!

yesterday, jinling, chia and i were at forum, where roy chiu (who?) was supposed to be having an autograph session at D&G. apparently he's some taiwanese (or hong kong?) singer. on our way to potblack, we walked past the taxi stand outside forum, cutting the path of this guy with horrendously dyed hair. a true blue khim moh! and we ended up getting snapped by like a dozen cameras.

this khim moh turned out to be roy chiu! (who happens to be kinda cute). i was like oh my god did we just walk past someone famous? isn't that sad. before that we were just saying that we wouldn't even know if he walked past us. he had so little fans at the session. i hope he doesn't go back and cry. anyway, he was so dao even when we tried to be nice and pretended to be in awe of his leaving van.

my heavenly maths tutor just emailed us. the average for the exam is 15/40. oh bless us.

when i was young, i told myself i will marry a man exactly like my dad.

a man whom i can wake up in the middle of the night to chase a moth out of my room, or kill cockroaches and grasshoppers without batting an eyelid.

a man who is the first person i call to when i cut myself with a knife or some other stupid thing like that.

a man who can do everything from changing fused light bulbs to fixing up the new toilet flush to opening durians.

a man who is strong in times of adversity, even when he lost his job.

a man who sat around the house for several days after that and picked himself up and got his rice bowl mended again.

a man who buys his wife roses on their wedding anniversary, and never forgets her birthday.

a man who comes home dead beat and still helps his wife with the chores - doing the laundry, ironing the clothes, vacuuming and washing the dishes.

a man who makes me hot milo three times a day when i was studying for my exams, even though i don't appreciate it and snap at him for disturbing me.

a man who loves me even though i sometimes forget that he's done all the above without a single complaint.

a man whom i hold dear to my heart, even though he never remembers to flush after using the toilet.

is that too much to ask for? come on guys, this is pretty easy...

sometimes i wish i had a vice. i wish i smoked like a chimney, or binged on tubs of ice-cream or food that clogged my arteries. i wish i was obsessed with death, and liked to slash my wrists. i wished i was hooked on piercings til the beer i wished i was a slave to would gush out in projectile from all those holes. i wished i was a druggie, a gambler or a sex addict (ok, that's not too bad, haha). but i'm not any of those things. (how clean-living can i get?) ok anyway, i wished i had a vice so that i could look to it for (momentary) comfort when i'm depressed or in pain. i guess jess would have to do.

karaoke on saturday was great, it was so much fun, and i can't wait til we do it again. love love love love love it! karaoke reminds me of my mom; i was ushered into the world of songs of the 70's and 80's when i was a mere primary school kid, and i miss my mom, i miss singing with her... i swear i'll bring her out to sing when i have the money.

i've been a bad bad girl. it's been two months since i last blogged. has it really been that long?

anyway, i'm back with a vengeance. how's the new look? actually, i've been a real good girl cos i've been studying my ass off for the exams, that's why i haven't been blogging. ok, i don't really have anything to say at 4.38 am in the morning. will be back! (hopefully)