when you're close to tears remember* 0852h. 250305.

It's getting closer and closer to the proper start of Term 2. Uhoh. |:

The haze is getting real bad, sigh. I think Bishan's like the worst hit or something. Even from indoors you can already sniff the smoke, yuuck.

I'm shit scared for RS. But nevermind, Godwilling we'll get everything done in time. GURLIEEEES WHERE ARE YOU!

Yesterday was tissue-selling, and surprisingly it went quite well. Fir was so jahat, my goodness. Then again he always is, so *snigger*. Toffa didn't come ): So Farts and I only needed to sell 140! We went around with Noddy, Nadiah and Janna and took the NEL down to Harbourfront. Farts and I stationed ourselves at the bridge connecting the interchange and the shopping centre and woah, Singaporeans are pretty generous actually. Quite a number donated beyond a dollar and yet refused to accept the tissue packet(s)! Weird -.- And since most of the office workers were going for lunch, they only smiled at us and told us they would donate on their way back and they really did! Haha very heartwarming. Well then after being there for about 3 hours we made our way back to school. Woah legs damn pain, body aching everywhere hahaha like old grannies, eeyer.

The day before was the trip to Science Centre. After both talks the only thing I was looking forward to was the Omnimax show and when we got there they said it couldn't be shown because of some technical error, methinks. WAHLAUUUU CHEAT MY FEELINGS OKAY T_T Hmmf. Spent the remaining hour with Ely! Or Elos or Els heehee. Walked around the Kinetic Park (if that's what it's called) and we played Giant Chess! Hehe very fun but youknow. My chess sucks lol.

So today's a Public Hol. I wanna watch Hitch I really really do. If nobody wants to come with me today I think I'll just watch it alone haaaaiiyah.

And where are you?

but you're only almost here* 2136h. 220305.

God. I am so horrible. So horrible.

Where can you go to run away from yourself?

Nobody deserves my shit. So why am I doing this?

I never learn. And I never change.

For God's sake Liyana, you're the worst person I've ever encountered. You ugly ingrate.

lambang semangat cinta dunia* 2051h. 140305.

After Camp, I have this to say: Angklungers rock! Harhar. Love them all, not forgetting Kak Faridah (or Cak or Kik, as Mrs Yap misinterpreted wahahaha), Mrs Yap, Mrs Goh and Mr Azahar.

Well I must say I didn't quite expect it to turn out so good firstly cos I had a rather bad start to Saturday haiiyah. The usual annoyance of and with things la but well. Because everyone was being so lovely and cooperative (though some people cannot stop being so noisy!), everything went so well woohoohoo. I owe you guys big time man. (:

And omgsh the juniors are so sweet okay. Now I'm real happy inside! See how can I not love my people and my CCA and how can we not work together to get that gold (with honours)? Hehehhh.

But life goes back to normal now. I fret to think of the pile of work that awaits me. Shall relish in denial for tonight hahaha. Am gonna be sleeping alone again I suppose. No more green crash mats nor people to hug ): No more laughing my head off at Nurul's crazy antics and her attempts to scare Yani who was, literally, lurking behind the woods! Haha. No more scaring Anna with my big eyes (I still insist my eyes aren't the biggest ever). No more giving Nurulhuda the biggest smile whenever she plays the most melodious rhythms on her congas. No more acting like the biggest fool and the corniest chairperson. Aaah. Ohwell. Not until the 27th at least, and I'm sure every member does look forward to that day too. Man I feel so proud of everyone and I hope this lasts. Whee.

Okay I'm tired. Shall take my time unpacking now. And dang. I almost almost got a new phone today. But you know they say you can't have your cake and eat it as well? Haha. I guess we're gonna have to go on a search around Sg for that E398 now. Seeeelah. Wait so long for price to drop, now drop already and the phone's phased out. Manyak bagus lor.

Eheheh. Baaad language I know. Sorry la! -.-

but you're only almost here* 2351h. 110305.

Term 1's ended. The ride's gonna get even faster and bumpier, goodness. Godwilling we'll all survive yeah darlings?

I hope Camp turns out alright. Really want us to do well for SYF no matter what. Our admin is seriously screwed la haish. Don't they see that the more they try to restrict the worse the attitudes get! Major sigh, I tell you.

Ah, the day's not yet over right so Happy 17th Birthday, Fir (: God bless you la hahahaha SO amusing okay this person. What touching girl. -_- Okay nevermind, inside joke.

I don't know what else to say! Haha. What a random post. Ohyes I've realised I don't really need an mp3 player lahh. Haha see. (: I think dad's traits rubbed off on me.

What rubbish! LOL. Alright toodles. Will miss the com and MSN and talking to nice nice people like *insert name here* and *insert name here* kwakwakwa. But at least there's no Spyware or Adware to put up with for 3 days yeayyyy.

cos it's you that matters* 2024h. 070305.

Nur'Aini Sidik.Nur Elysa Sapari.Nur Farhanis Othman.Nur Kalyisah Md Suada.Narishka Roz Subahan.Nurul Fatin Ahmad Sudirman.Md Firdaus Surathi.Dian Azmoon.Siti Arina Abu Bakar.Siti Hanna Ruslan.Md Khairul Azmi.Atiqah Fairuz Md Salleh.Siti Fairuz Omar.Anisah Sherif.Sofieati.Nur Diyana Yusof.Anna Lee.Siti Robi'ah Jamal.Siti Aisha Jaffar.Ahmad Nabil Mustafa.Hilmi Anwar.Izzat Rusydi.

/Just so you know that I love you, I love you so. (:

dan di sini tetap menunggu* 1952h. 070305.

Hello. Aisyah is making weird noises outside. Okay now she's arguing with Imran over some stupid little thing. Sigh, childhood innocence. A part of me is glad I'm no longer a kid. Yet there's always that longing to be one all over again. Ohwell human nature, we're never satisfied are we?

The past weekend was a real tiring one. Am still not fully rested but what can I say. I'm real proud of the sec3s for having put up a fantastic show on Saturday. *great big hug* Andddd Nadiah and Nadz actually skipped Madrasah yesterday, how unfair! I should've done that too. Kwakwa. Alright back to post-Fata Morgana. I LOVE SITI NURAINIIII wahahaha. Really couldn't stop laughing at her scenes. THE BOMOH ONE ESPECIALLY HEEHEEHEE.

Today was pretty alright. I can't wait for the holidays to start but sigh it's gonna be another gruelling week to the end. So much to handle so much to do, God please grant me strength to pull through.

I never had a dream come true Till the day that I found you Even though I pretend that I've moved on You'll always be my baby

Blargh. I don't like this feeling I don't like this feeling. I cannot take this anymore. Stop it stop it stop it I think I've had enough. YAA SURE LIY. TT'S WHAT YOU ALWAYS SAY AND WHAT DO YOU END UP DOING? Grr. *slaps self*

I think outbursts are dangerous.

bulan madu di awan biru* 1940h. 270205.

Today was highly entertaining. You see my nick? Kuakua. THE guys kept singing the song over and over and over. Ho, more like making it their own. And someone was blasting it on his mp3 woaaaieo. Just don't get deaf, ok? OH and for the record, it did rain. Which is good! (: Alhamdulillah.

I hope I didn't screw up The Book With Stripes. Kept having to tear a page every time I made a mistake. Hmm, at least not much harm's done, I hope. So sorry sigh.

Watched Hotel Rwanda on Friday with Nurul, Dian and Farina. Was a really good film, the scenes and the message behind it all sent me to tears and got me thinking. (Haha and the funny scenes were really funny! xP) I appreciate the life I have now, really. Nobody's perfect and life's not meant to be perfect either. I guess it's just how you choose to perceive things. Like, there's this quote that goes something along the lines of: Love isn't about finding that perfect person; it's about seeing the imperfect person perfectly. Haha see!

I hate Sundays for one reason. I'll just end up missing him more by the minute. Augh. Get over it, get over it.

And have I mentioned how much I love malay oldies? I'm referring to songs. Call them jiwang if you might but yes I think they rock. No matter what. If anyone's thinking of getting me the perfect birthday present, that would be it. Heh. Lol, whatever. My birthday's faaaar away, and I don't wna be sixteen yet. Does it make a difference?

And I haven't done Math.

my shadow's the only one that walks beside me* 2240h. 200205.

Look, it's the end of February! Already! Aaahhhh.

We're really growing up too fast aren't we. Bah. I had my Frappe today, like finally. Had to settle for Delifrance though, cos Causeway Point doesn't have a Coffee Bean outlet. I didn't see one around, anyway.

Yawns. I didn't get to watch TheWeddingSinger cos dad snapped at me. Fine la. At this rate I won't get anywhere, sigh. Grr I should just shut up.

My mood's been pretty unpredictable lately. Some stupid phase that doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. I'm so worried for alot of people and alot of things. A million and one geezups taking up my brain space when indeed alot of other more beneficial stuff ought to belong there. Shoo problems, shoo. Go away and don't come back.

Yesterday the music stand took away some of the skin from my baby finger. Today my spectacle case almost did the same to my thumb. While clearing up my stuff one of my files fell to the floor and paper flew everywhere. My eyes are tired, I'm getting numb. Everywhere I go I feel so left out and alone. I think it's about time something good happen. Been awhile since I've felt so happy. And cheerful. To think of it, I miss the old me. (And I miss the old everyone else, too.;_;)

If only every day was a Sunday.

crazy just thinkin about you lately* 2248h. 130205.

I liked today (:

And I'm going crazy just wondering what it would be like if we could have the liberty to download songs at our own free will, again. I'd have loved to have that whole list playing and then replaying on my. Playlist! Hee.

"So the grass growing on the cemeteries will pray for the dead? Meaning if I put a small ant there it'll pray along? Cool" - Haha no brainer, I tell you. Quote of the day or something. Won't last long, rest assured they'll just come up with wackier lines. Fun chaps, like someone said. Today's incident is actually pretty funny now that I think of it. Only just now I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole. Damn maluating and it's not everyday that you get the whole class roaring in laughter at two people. And there you are trying to hide while your cheeks turn a dark shade of red.

Hee.

And now that you're here, all I want is for you to stay.

Humbug. School tomorrow, looks like there won't be any holidays anytime soon. That's both good and bad I suppose. But for now. This should be the last time I blog. Until the next time, then. Take care my lovelies. Loveliys! Hee (:

Gwahaa. Like Noo said, I'm cheery today. And I agree. Hey spread the luuuurve ((: Oh anyw! The Alphabet Sisters is a must read, especially for people like me. Daww it made me cry and I felt so ): towards the end of the book. Yup, just a story but still! Heh. Ok shall shut up and go now. And if anything, falling for someone all over again is the best that can happen. Ever.

loneliness found me* 1802h. 120205.

I wanna be at the Youth Park 50firstdates screening warghhh. Unfair unfair unfair. Was in town just now, met Preetha to return her pants, then walked around abit. So many sales going on! But then my legs got tired and I felt so sleepy, got tired of waiting and thankfully (or not) someone couldn't make it so yeap headed home.

I wna watch Constantine! Hopefully can do that tomorrow. Unless mum nags again like she did this morning. What's wrong with borrowing stuff from others I mean that's perfectly fine isn't it as long as you take good care and return whatever it is when you're done with it like hello. Gurlies do that all the time I'm sorry if you didn't get a chance to but this is my life. And every one of my friends is alright with doing that. What makes you think you have the right to decide that it's perfectly okay for them to borrow my stuff but when it comes to me borrowing theirs, it's an immediate no? Sheesh. Was so angry and effed up I banged the door twice.

Haha ohwell did I just make myself sound like an angsty 15yrold? I'm sorry la but really mum's been getting on my nerves more often than usual these days. Then again, it's probably because I'm on a long break. THANK GOD FOR SCHOOL ON MONDAY OKAY. SERIOUSLY -.-

Bah. Was looking around today and I decided, what I really need is a wardrobe makeover. Daww. Truth is, I never got over you.

raindrops keep falling on my head* 1118h. 110205.
All she ever does is piss me off.

Good. Piss me off some more.

And have I mentioned how much I hate being the freaking eldest? Damn suck. Damn suck damn suck damn suck. But I should stop. Complaining won't get me anywhere but HEY I CAN'T KEEP CONFORMING EITHER, RIGHT.

Piss me off man. Doesn't help that those two idiots are the biggest self-obsessed, selfcentred, selfish creatures around. Piss me off some more. Like for once, be independent damnit. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I suddenly disappear. Or if I'm no longer here. Would they laugh, would they miss me, would they even notice? Afterall I'm invisible to so many.

I can scream all I want, but is anyone out there hearing me?

each time you walk into a crowded room* 1445h. 100205.

All I see is you.

Hello! I'm feeling alot better today yeay. Fanis is here, we just finished RS. The girl looks like a pirate. Daa xP

I'm 20bucks richer today. Gwahaha. And Aini and I had a good time swooning over someone in purple today. No, not that one. The other. Okay shutup. Later both prasan.

This is such a pointless entry.

Oh! And Happy Awwal Muharram, dear Muslim brothers and sisters. Here's to a better year ahead. God bless.

Some people are just not worth your time, kindness and sincerity. Treat me like a stranger all you want. Too bad I could never afford to give you a taste of your own medicine.

And if you think it doesn't hurt, I'm telling you now. It hurts even more. So much more.

never have i felt this way* 2033h. 070205.

The tummy hurts. Grr this is what happens when you're sick, isn't it. No matter how little you eat, even if it's awfully little, or if it's as little as your usual serving is... your stomach still feels so full. Awghh. Or maybe I drunk too much water to go with the Mi Soto. Wahlauu the cili damn pedas man!

I wanna be perfectly fine by tomorrow. But sigh what are the chances.

Headache go awayyy-

And I really really feel like taking my throat out and stabbing it aplenty. Gah.

if we met under a different sky* 2152h. 060205.

Am feeling really sick ): Had a fever last night, now the fever's gone methinks but I'm still feeling all giddy. And I kept having to go to the toilet. Bleh. Am so lazy to drag my feet to the clinic, but there's nothing I can do. Wanna get medication so at least I'd feel alot alot better. Who likes getting sick, anyw?

There's so many things to do today. Didn't manage to do any work at all last night cos the fever was really getting to me. Ouch ouch headache can you please go away |: Brr. Anyhow, hopefully I manage to complete everything - Physics performance task assignment, Chem assignment, and Math revision.

I wonder if Dr. Tan'll give me an MC for tomorrow. I wouldn't wna be absent anyw, since I've to present my ucapan, take the Math formative assessment and ohyeah go for the MBTI talk.

Headache go awayyyyyy-

And I wonder what the Madrasah people are doing right now. Haha. They miss me, I know =p

Hurr. Who says.

Damnit. I feel the diarrheoa coming again.

sometimes i'm just scared to be me* 1815h. 020205.

Today was horrible. PE makes me depressed. What a stupid thing to say I know, but it's the truth. Usually I wouldn't feel so bad even though my ball sense really sucks. But today was totally different. Awgh, goodness. Felt so |: the whole day, even Aisyah noticed when I got home. And on the way back from French I bought prata, hoping it'll console me a little. Ahh-

I hate being picked on. I hate feeling stupid. It's not helping me. I should just quit. Hmph.

Sprained the hipbone today. That doesn't sound right hah, but yes. It hurts everytime I bend down or lean to one side. Don't know how it became like that. Maybe I slept wrongly. And oh yeah a tennis ball hit me there. Ouch.

Tomorrow's Thursday already! Good. Hurry weekend. Hurry come.

I like Diana DeGarmo's Emotional. That song speaks for me.

And I didn't enjoy the ride to school today. Not one bit.

People never mean to hurt other people, but they usually do a pretty job of it all the same.