reflections on the water* 2218h. 160905.

The aftertaste is never sweet.

and i'll just watch from afar* 1112h. 090505.

I swear I'm growing beefier everywhere. It's quite scary, really. Eeeeep.

Why are the holidays ending so quickly? Nyehh. Today's fully taken up by a family outing fwhee. I hope papa'll be really nice today so we can all buy nicenice stuff. Okay, sorry for the limited vocab. Tomorrow's gonna be really long, what with the competition (wish me luck! ;D), and then ExxonMobil Family Day at Labrador Park. And Sunday's madrasah (and I am going to fumble because I haven't memorised Al-Qalam, but hey it's not my fault my period only ended today, lol!). Lalala. Prelims on Monday, God please let me do well <:

Okay.. ripped this off Taffy.

20 people you can think of right off your head
1. Ely
2. Kaly
3. Fir
4. Fanis
5. Narishka
6. Noo
7. Zulhilmi
8. Maggi
9. Naimaaaa (hahahahha)
10. Taffs
11. Nadiah
12. Toffa
13. Faezzah
14. Tamie
15. Hab
16. Sarah
17. Aini
18. Yassir
19. Nabil
20. Haq

How did you meet 13?
RGS! Really great malay/french classmate <3 Love you Fiz! Thanks for the jokes and fun and laughter hahah (this is quite gay ainnnit)

What would you do if you never met 5?
I would never have discovered the true meaning of a musical prodigy. <: And of course, life would be alot more boring.

What do you honestly think of 10?
HAHAHAH. Taffs do you reeeeally want to know? Hmm. Pretty, great fashion sense (and I get to inherit her fashionwear, lol! <:). Very nice, very crazy, very tall. Uhhuh xD Love yeeewww!

Have you ever liked 3?
Oh my. I swear I didn't mean to put you as no. 3. -whistles- I must say, this survey is real random.

If 1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would like to do?
Elyyy! No Ely can't die she can't die. I'd lose a really great friend. ):

Would 2 and 11 make a good couple?
ROTFLMAO. Um no sorreh, Nadiah is happy enough the way she is. And Kaly has -coughswhoahcoughs-. Heee.

Do you think 12 is hot?
Haha. Well. -isoutofwords-

Would 1 and 17 make a lovely couple?
No they wouldn't. They get along well, though. And anyway, Amran would just die if Aini went lesbian. -_-

Tell me something about 11
Oooo hahaha -rubs hands in glee- She thinks she's THE divine intervention. But of course, she is just plain old Nadiah. -pats- <:

Do you know any of 3's family members?
Yeah [: His mum's really sweet. Sister's very friendly, studied in Cairo.

On a scale of 1-10, how cute is 14?
Hahah. Very schoolgirl cute lah okay! <3 Tamie, she is so so smart! Ilmu alam genius man.

What would you do if 4 just professed his/her undying love for you?
Hasn't she already? Hahaha. <3 you too Farns!

What language does 19 speak?
LOL. Gibberish. Uhhuh ;D

Who is 8 going out with?
Hahahha. The mamak selling kacang puteh. Right mag? Of course!

Would 18 and 5 make a good couple?
Hmmm -ponders- Nah, I think Nar's more interested in Zlatan.

When was the last time you talked to 6?
Ohoho! On Wednesday, at Kaly's.

What is 18's favourite band?
God, I wouldn't know. He's very.. dikir barat. Makes a good juara, yknow ;D

Does 4 have any siblings?
Yeah one pretty sister who's fit to be a model. Goooo Atiqah!

Would you ever date 1?
Hahhaha. Hey bestie, let's go for a mooobie!

Would you ever date 7?
HAAAHAHAHHAHA. Umm.

Is 15 single?
I should think so, yeaa!

What is 19's last name?
Mustafa! And he always gets teased because of that. I shan't say how hahaha <:

What is 3's middle name?
Firdaus.

What is 10's middle name?
Sunarty Sarginin. What's in the middle? Lol!

Would 14 and 19 make a good couple?
No! Hehhee.

What school does 16 go to?
I dunno.. perhaps the one I go to, too? ;P

What school does 1 go to?
Ditto the above!

Where does 9 live?
You just had to pick the only faraway person here. Somewhere in America I forgot where! Brilliant fan I am -curtseys-

Would you make out with 13?
Keke no. I'm pretty sure she's happy as Fanis' wife. Or husband. Er, whatever! Hahaha.

Are 5 and 6 best friends?
Well they get along very well, I'm positive [:

Is 20 older than you?
Yeah by 2 years. Hullo cousin!

Is 4 the sexiest bitch alive?
Oooh yes of course. Seen her bangs yet? Yummm. <:

Is 17 your ex?
Haha I'm sure, yes. -_-

Do you ever see yourself with 12/18?
No and uh, yes but a long time ago. Now the latter's happily attached to my pri sch best friend [:

How is 2?
A great friend and an even greater singer! Love you Karlos darling [:

*

Hahahah that was fun!

Yeyy today I get to cut my hair! And buy clothes and shoes for Raya which is in a few months yayy how exciting.

Stop sounding so gay, Liy. [:

but life goes on* 2340h. 050905.

And my heart just sank. OUCH. How on earth is that supposed to make me feel?

It's better to just not care.

God please give me strength.

i'd give my all to have just one more night with you* 2014h. 040905.

Hello world. I really wanted to blog last night, but this computer was getting on my nerves and stupidly refused to let me open Explorer hmpf. But today it has been on good behaviour so far -pats laptop- and so I shall blog. <:

Yesterday was fantabulous. The best I've had in quite awhile. Farewell was a really, truly good one and I'm sure my batchmates enjoyed it as much as I did. =) I could see how much effort the 2006 committee put into this first task of theirs. The games were fun and creative albeit tiresome and very noisy hahahah (especially captain's (water bomb) ball, lol). The presents they gave us were omgdness. SO COOL, SO PRO AND JUST SO THOUGHTFUL! This mini shirt that says I <3 AK, a small glass bottle with a personal message rolled up inside, and a certificate that reads: Congratulations for having shaken your way this far. Like, man. I love you all so much. Great job, juniors. I trust you guys will keep up the enthusiasm and dedication for next year and the years after [: Keep Kak Faridah, Mrs Goh and Mr Azahar happy alright? Haha.

I didn't manage to say all I wanted during the speech cos I broke down after the first sentence -_- Lol. To the 2005 Exco, thank you so much for the support and cooperation you guys have given me since we took charge at the end of last year. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better Exco =) To my sec4s, thank you for being the wonderful batchmates you people are. We've had our differences but at the end of it, yawl are still the best [: Kak Faridah's always full of praises for us, and coming from someone like her, that's got to mean something, ain't it? To Narishka, my comrade, confidante, vice president and everything else, :D thank you so, so much. <3 Words aren't probably enough. Heh.

I know I'm gonna miss Angklung and the music and the bamboo and my PB and everybody so damn much.

Lalala. Okay so after Farewell, Hab, Fiz and I rushed to Eunos CC for the semis of the Fasih Terjemahan competition. The three of us including Tamie and Izza were in the last two groups and goodness, the waiting time was super annoyingly long. Like at least 2 hours -_- I think this time round I was slightly luckier though. Picked sports for the Malay to English round, and health for the English to Malay round. I wanted Education for the latter but the girl before me snapped it up first. Wahaha. I guess the phrases I got for the last round were slightly easier compared to what the rest got. Like NATIONAL ANTHEM?? Lol. We were abit surprised when they said results were gonna be released there and then, lol. 20 people got thru to finals (out of the remaining 68). Thank you God for giving me the chance to get thru to finals, together with Hab and Tamie [: Lol. But it's like, this Saturday! So soon.

Ahwell. I spent this morning folding three large piles of laundry. -__- Now I shall go watch TV. Heeeh.

Happy 16th birthday, Noo! [:

hanya satu pintaku, sabarlah menanti* 2002h. 220805.

Time really flies. Before we know it, exams'll be over already. That's supposed to be good, right?

Azimah's photo entry kind of inspired me (lol) to take some time off the books and notes to look at photos of well, my younger days. From Pertapis, to Madrasah, to PPIS. Ahwell. Such innocence xD That was way before I knew what the real world had in store for me. I wonder what things'll be like ten years from now. Hohum.

I think the family should buy one of those conventional cameras. If they're still in the market. I mean yeah digicams are the in thing and stuff but really. I think conventional cameras produce nicer photos. And you'll never lose them, cos every roll of used film is processed, and that batch of photos can't be erased or deleted unlike digiphotos. I guess mum was right afterall. We need a conventional cam. I noticed something just the other day. There are at least five large albums of my younger-self photos, three of Imran and two of Lina. Aisyah has the least, and I feel quite sad for her, cos most of her photos were taken by digicam and they're either on this laptop, or erased the last time the system crashed. That reminds me. I'd better load all the photos elsewhere in case the system crashes again.

Haha, I apologise for this very fragmanted entry.

because they never really left* 2130h. 180805.

Today went pretty alright. Thank you, God.

I empathize with Victorians, past and present. I seriously hope the Admin does not decide to go ahead with the co-ed idea. I may not be a Victorian myself, but really, why kill such a long and rich tradition? I've always admired the VS spirit. Reading the blog they set up kind of made me sad. "A tradition so fine, a brotherhood so pure for each and everyone of us to uphold and preserve." - Fir, on the online petition. Enough said.

I want to watch The Maid. Kwakwa.

tell me how i got it wrong* 1919h. 150805.

Oh, my God. I am so gonna save up to buy Raghav's Storyteller album. It's probably pretty unheard of, but I like my music that way. Not polluted and not overplayed ;D (Although perhaps No No has been playing every single morning on Ria, or so my mum says, but heck.) Lol, looks like Vintage Rock II's gonna have to wait. Or better still, I'll find a way to get my parents to pay for both wahahah.

That aside. EOYs are in one week! : God save all of us. I pray things will turn out okay. It's quite scary how term 3's ending real soon. I'm sure I recall the day June holidays ended and I was aching to get over and done with term 3 asap. Erp.

ANTM later! Haha. Naimaaaaaa <3

I miss Angklung. I miss the feeling I get every Saturday morning, having to get up early just to be in school on time so the juniors wouldn't have to wait so long. I miss the songs. I miss the music. I miss my PB. I miss performing. Bah. I MISS THE PEOPLE. -hugsallofyou-

Never mind.

I wish he knew.

happy 40th birthday, Singapore! *1940h. 090805.

Yesterday turned out good. It rained in the morning so celebrations were in the hall which I guess wasn't so bad. Our class won second place for the Sec4 Interclas Fashion Parade haha. Yayy all the hard work paid off! ;D

After that went towning for abit with Nadiah, Janna and Noddy. Called Aini and we decided to watch Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. So I dropped by her place for lunch and prayers, then we went off. Haha, we were late by about 2 minutes and so when we entered, the theatre was pitch black. We probably looked like two dungus trying to figure their way around hahah. But anyway that's not the point. THE POINT IS. The show was so gooooooood. Perhaps a little dark and warped (not forgetting how nuts and psychotic Willy Wonka was) but I liked it alot! All the crazy lines. The oompa loompas. That rich brat (is her name Veruca?). Augustus, who celebrated his win with more chocolate. Charlie's grandpa! Heh. I got so high and happy at the end of it. And yeah. The ending was really fabulous and heartwarming. "...Life was never sweeter". Ahh.

Am at home alone, again. The whole family's in Johor. Again. I hope they buy good food from there.

I need to mug hard. Who wants to spend the whole of tomorrow studying with me? =)

I miss Kak Ida. I never really knew her, but talking to her once upon a time three years ago really made me feel at home. I missed the chance of seeing her again today. Haiiiyah. Lol, I didn't even know she was back from Cairo.

Oh yeah one more thing about yesterday. NAIMA IS SO HOT. (Understatement of the year, I know.) But I'm not surprised. Like Toffa said, she's Mexican+Indian+Irish. Gee. I'm really glad she won the title in the end, though. (Thanks again Zul for spoiling it for me -_-)

adakah cinta yang tak pernah berakhir* 1441h. 070805.
Hi.

I'm currently fuming with rage. I hate people who break promises. No actually I'm more concerned with those who make promises they jolly well can't keep. Why make them in the first place? If you know that you're gonna have to hurt someone in the end? I don't get it. Love torturing me, don't you. Carry on then. Carry on and watch how long more I can take it. Try and break me for all I care. Idiot.

I'm not a machine you play with. I'm not a toy you can wind up as and when you please. I'm fine with not having you around. It'll take me some time to get used to it but at least I know there's nothing left between us. It's you who's making things way more difficult than they should ever be. I hate everything about you. I hate the way you treat me like I don't matter. I hate how you find an excuse for every single thing. I hate how you don't bother. I hate to wonder why I'm the one who stays all the time. I hate having to ask myself why I'm doing this. I hate to have my hopes brought up so high, and then crash to the ground in pieces. I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it. Stop making me feel so stupid, so cheated and so worthless. JUST GO. AWAY.

*
what would happen
if i've stopped caring
about whats going to happen next
and forget about the past,
what if i said this shouldnt go
any further,
before i fall any deeper.

if this is me making a mistake,
at least i know i wanted to,
and if this is me
sounding a little too selfish,
then lets just say i needed to;

but dont u think its safer
to spend the rest of your life
with somebody else,
someone,
you dont love as much,
so that when they hurt you
it doesnt hurt as much,
or maybe,
it wouldnt hurt at all.

*

There you go. In your face, bugger.