don't be ashamed to cry* 2300h. 151204.

Why.

Why do I always find myself lost. And entangled. In crises like this.

Why is it always the same mistake.

Don't I ever learn?

Or is the other party also to blame?

I'm out of words. Nothing I say or do will get the memories to stop haunting. I'm too troubled and very much restless and it's really getting to me.

Yes I'm brave enough to look back and yes I can laugh it all off. But in the end who gets the sour aftertaste?

And why do they make it look so plain simple. Damnit. It freaking isn't, please. Ergh. Where are these people when I need them. What happened to Sanjay.! And Fir! And I haven't heard from Aini in ages I bet she's in Indonesia now. Arghhhhh T___T

caramel dreams* 0824h. 151204.

I had a stupid dream! Of my blog! Moohahahahhaha how stupid can that be, tell me tell me. Lololol xP

No actually that was just one small part of the dream. The rest of it was pretty gruesome - I dreamt someone got murdered. Someone I don't know but yeah I was there to watch the murder. But those people couldn't see me cos I was there, but not there.. like watchin it on replay. OOKAYY nevermind it doesn't concern me, and neither does it concern you so I shall quit the blabbing. Aahahah -_-

My brother turns ten tomorrow. Ohwell. Big deal? I think not. 10 or 15 or 20, his level of maturity is still gonna be that of a 5 year old. Haha. He thinks he's so great and all mighty just becauseee he's the only December baby. OH please. Bugger off dude! Tskk.

I'll Stand By You by Girls' Aloud is a pretty good song (: Soothing to the ears + Meaningful lyrics is what I call great music. Wahahah. Liy's crappy today. Sorry guys.

when i needed somebody* 2140h. 121204.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)


Welcome to my life

*
Hah. Big fake lies and stupid smiles. Grrf.

I've always liked this song, I still do. Welcome to MY world man.

And right now I think being MIA is the best way out. Happy holidays then. Or what's left of it, rather. Ergh.

i've got a picture of you in my mind, never knew it could be so fine* 0951h. 091204.

*
That's one of my most favourite pictures from the Gold Coast trip. Taken at Carrara Market. It's like a flea market I guess. Only the things there are uhh in pretty good condition and worth buying (: Haha sorry I had to take that pic away. Twas taking up a little too much space and hence making my blog look distorted.

But yeah the pics are all viewable under snapshots v2 and snapshots v3. Oh yeaa Arina haha. I decided to just make do with Yahoo =P

Okay byee.

till you're burned by the flame* 0952h. 071204.

1) I typed a long essayish entry of my trip to the land down under but was too lazy to continue so I just let it be deleted.

2) Gold Coast Brisbane Queensland Australia was heaps fun. QF52, Paradise Country, Seaworld, Seaworld Nara Resort, Movieworld, Dreamworld, Tower of Terror, Giant Drop, Carrara Market, Harbour Town, Surfers Paradise, hot hunks and gorgeous babes, Kak Sofi, Sofia, Afiq, Wani, that 22yrold NSguy who looks at least 5 years younger, prejudiced cashiers, Suhaimi Yusoff, Ross, Kak Ainah, Kak Nur, Ann, chocolate pudding fruit, miniature train ride, bland food, scooby doo spooky coaster ride, screams, taking the plunge, surfers, soft sand, sunburns, freezing, QF51. Once in a lifetime kind of opportunity that I'd remember for life. (:

3) Queensland itself is like I dunno how big, so please tell me how Khaifour and I bumped into each other so many times. Okay, three times in two days to be exact but still. Even in Sg we don't see each other unless there's school functions whatnot. Hurhur. And we share alot alot ALOT of similarities. Same brand loyalty same this same that.. all the way down to having same MSN font and font colour. Funny, but nice ehh xP Lol, WE should be buddies! Harhar, kidding.

4)Dad STILL hasn't found the Finepix Picture Viewer CD that he misplaced. I don't know how or why, lol. Dad never misplaces stuff. *insert exasperated sigh* As such, it'll take me quite some time to get them pictures uploaded and then yawl can view them (: yey!

5)My living room this morning was the epitome of a junkyard *snigger*. Woke up to find dad and adiks busy cleaning up and revamping the storeroom. Lolols. Much hidden treasure they found =P

6)The flu jab I took isn't really effective afterall ): I STILL fell sick anyway. My nose and ears are blocked, however possible that is xP And my voice! Sengau like mad. And what's sengau in English? Moohaha+

7)I'm missing a whole lot of people ): Classmates, gurlies, juniors, seniors. And him. Ah nevermind. Holidays will end soon. Might as well enjoy and make the most of it while it lasts. Lolol.

8)Speaking of which, my Math homework is untouched still :O The horror! Harhar.

9)Oh did I tell you I cut my hairrrr? Yaaa, again. Haha. I did I did and I like it (: Long hair's never my thing anyway. Makes me look so round and.. round. O_o

10)Okay I shall make this the last point. I think my sisters are very pretty little girls and I hope they'll grow up to be pretty young ladies :D And I'm gna make sure their skin stays flawless as it now is. Haha. And I'm gna buy them all the pretty simply nice girly stuff for them to wearrr. Haha so fun being the good big sister I am *snigger*.

11)Alright alriiight I couldn't resist this. So here goes; ALL HAIL TAUFIK BATISAH.!

love is a hunger, an endless aching need* 0839h. 271104.

I haven't updated for more than a week already. Haha. Quite alot has happened, I suppose? Let's do a quick recap.

Wednesday, 241104
Watched Incredibles with Fanis Noo Robs, sis Lina and cousin Haq. Great show, that one. Jackjack's so adorableee hahaha. And Edna Mode! Lololol. Oh and I kept forgetting that Noo was fasting.. so I kept offering her food. So silly -__- Anyway I had a rolling good time laughing and all. And aiyooh Fanis and Robs actually overturned their popcorn pack. Tskkk xP I wanna go for another movie outing ((: And I shall say this for the umpteenth time (Ely Noo Robs cover your eyes) - I WNA WATCH SHUTTER!! Someone please bring me, ho ho.

Thursday, 251104

Jalan raya with Madrasah people (y). Met Aisha first at the bus stop, and then we met the ToaPayoh people (Zakiah Aini Amran Hafriz and Mat) at TP MRT. There was a slight miscommunication so we ended up being very late and because of that, had to find our own way to Diyana's Bukit Panjang house. Took 190 from Orchard, alighted at the 2nd stop after the Expressway, and then walked for a good 10-15minutes. And I was in heels please, thanks very much o_O It felt like Big Walk around a quiet, solidatory estate man. Tskk. But we reached there in the end, so thank goodness. Her mum served Mi Rebus and not surprisingly, everyone finished up what was actually quite a large serving. Haha.

Next house was Ustzh Asnah's. Man she really hasn't changed since we last saw her.. and that was 3 years ago. And Aini Aisha and I were so disappointed cos she didn't remember us. That's damn ironical because we were the closest pupils of hers. Sad, or sad man!

Then took LRT + MRT to Ain's place at Admiralty. Waited a while outside Cheers for Fir. Aiyo that guy. *shakes finger* I'm really too lazy to comment about him already ahh. Tsktsk. At Ain's we had Fried Mi Chinese-style. Very tasty, considering the fact that I've always liked Ain's mum's cooking :9 We did Zuhur there as well, and then it was a long bus ride to Fir's at Tampines. Oh. It didn't help that Fir wasn't being helpful grr and we ended up in the wrong bus! But, nevermind.

Reached Fir's at around 1630. We were so drained out already and he made us take the stairs. And tricked us into thinking he lives on the 11th floor. Like HUHHHH no thanks ah! T__T But heh. I like his house (: Very big and nicely written sets of ayat (Quran verses) on his walls. Found out the ayats were done by his elder sis and we all went woaaaa :O Moohahaha+ We were served Mi Goreng. By then nobody really wanted to eat already, so we ended up eating only 1/8 of the bowl that his mum served. So poor thing, but what to do!

From there, we took 8 to Toa Payoh. Fir left us to look for his camping stuff -___- I shall restrain from lashing out any bad comments. Ergh. Okay back to where I was. Everyone was asleep on the bus ride. Headed to Zakiah's. Rushed Asar and did Maghrib there, and then we had to be nice and take very minute servings of her mum's Mi Rebus. Hehh.

Next house was mine. We reached in time for Sg Idol: Phenomenon. My mum served Mi Hoon Goreng. Everyone was full alreadyyy hahhaha but the girls ate anyway m/ Guys sat there pretending their eyes were glued to the TV. Tsk! Then we headed to Aisha's. We were obliged to eat there as well aiyooh. It's like, we're eating at every house sigh. Left her house at 2100.

And then it was Amran's. The gundu made us eat at his place also. Haha. But rezeki jangan ditolak, so yeaap. Last house (finally!) was Ustzh Saodah's. Haaahaha. I like the jelly that she made :9 :9 Would have taken some more if I wasn't so full already. But yeahh. Hahaha. Left her house at 2230.

*

Ookay. Now I'm lazy to continue. Haahaha. Why'm I still haha-ing everywhere when I'm not even feeling the least fine. Ohwell. Nevermind.

ain't no sunshine* 1424h. 191104.


Today's weather is weird. Keeps raining on and off. Heh. Strange. But anyway. I'm bored, in search of something to do, trying to let time pass, and being lazy because I don't want to start on homework yet (when actually it should be the first thing on my mind) and hence I shall do this blog justice and well.. update! Hoho.

Syawal so far has been boring. I thought last year's wasn't meriah (exciting). Well this year's by far the worst! Hurhur. Or maybe that's because 1)My fam and I only went around visiting for the first 2 days. Yes. We've been very much at home since then. Or at least I've been cooped up at home since then. And hmm 2)We haven't had any visitors yet hahaha how strangely funny. I guess that's both good and bad. Good because I don't have to keep walking in and out of the kitchen carrying trays and trays of drinks and such. (Mim alif lam sin.MALAS) Bad becauuuuse. Noone's here to finish up our kueh. So we're the ones who eat them up moohaha. Eh actually that's good, too. But whatever. Why do I always contradict myself.

But hoorayhoorayjoyjoy we're going out today (: To some Hari Raya gathering with my dad's friends and their fams. The usual people la, haha. Am not like really close to any of the kids there but hmm. That's when my social skills come in handy, ey? xP Okay fine I'm kidding. But really. Nevermind there's always Sg Idol stuff to talk about since we're gonna be there at night time after Maghrib, and what other show will we be watching other than SI! Humdeedum.

Oh. I just realised something! Tomorrow onwards, my schedule's gonna be pretty packed. We should be out the whole day tomorrow methinks. Sunday's rest day. Then Monday to Wednesday there's Angklung -___- Bah! Okay nevermind, am looking forward to playing SYF pieces. Really *insert convincing smirk* Hurhurh. Then Thursday is Jln Raya with Madrasah classmates eyyey! (: (: I still haven't decided what to wear. After that comes another busy weekend. And then I'll be off (: Awayyyyy frooom Siiingaaapoooreeee (: (: Heh.

My brother can be such a pain in the arse dangit. What a creature. Eurgghhhh. Then again, I should stop stating the obvious. But T___T He drives me up the freaking wall every freaking day lahhh ): Bummer. Haha but I think. When we're all grown up and stuff, and we reminisce the younger days, we're gonna laugh our heads off thinking of how silly we used to be. Or still are. Lols. Like what are the odds. Huh!

Okayy byebye (: Taufik rocks Taufik rocks Taufik roooocks. Ooh. Fique x)

it's you that matters* 2203h. 121104.


Haven't been blogging for quite some time now. Haha. Don't ask why. Don't ask. But anyway, before I do my occasional musings; TAUFIK'S STILL IN.! Alhamdulillah m/ God bless him haha. Let Taufik win let Taufik win. Let. Taufik. Win! <3 <3 <3 <333

Ladidas. Life's been pretty..weird. Maybe because holidays are here and I haven't yet gone into full holiday mode yet. The thing about hols is that you don't get to see your friends often. ): I miss you all T__T And I hate bumming around the house (okay, not really, considering the fact that I've been working my arse off doing spring cleaning, baking and the works) when there's really SO very much to do. All chucked at the back of my mind. Ahh. I can't recall how many times I've scolded myself for getting my forgetfulness get the better of me. Especially when it comes to Angklung and more Angklung matters. Sigh! And at this rate we're supposed to get twice the number of members we have now, for next year. Bravo, Liy, bravo. I'm telling you now, if we don't get to meet that goal, it's all my fault. Mine. And mine only. Hurhur.

Besides Angklung there's what- RS! Goodness me. Can we get together next week? Ahhh. Please say we can. ): Okay Fanis is online, good! Next.

Studies, another matter altogether. I'm gonna have to work thrice as hard next year. Just to make it to RJ. Even if it's by the skin of my teeth. Oh sigh. My report slip isn't exactly what everyone would like to see. But I guess I should be thankful. And learn from it. (Heh. Sounds familiar, no?) Ladida. I guess the teachers' comments are somewhat motivating. And haha, like I said to Ely, there has got to be this connection between my commitment to learning and the grade I got for a certain subject. Look at Malay and History for example. And then, look at Chem! Moohahaha+

1 Syawal is the day after tomorrow. How come nobody really feels the Hari Raya mood anymore? Me included. I don't want Ramadhan to end. I know I didn't manage to meet Lailatul Qadr this year. Thanks to that red friend that chose to pay me a visit twice. Ah, sigh. Nevermind. InsyaAllah, next Ramadhan will be better. I pray it will be.

I probably won't be blogging tomorrow. So to all Muslims, Happy Eid Mubarak. Minal Aidil Wal Faizin (:

On a lighter note: MONEY!!! Hahaha.