kuingin kau rasakan, pahitnya terbuang, sia-sia* 2053h. 270206.

So today didn't turn out so bad afterall, thank goodness (: History presentation went okay, Math test wasn't as bad as I dreaded it to be, time flew during Malay, and then we (Kaly, Karimah and myself) dropped by Angklung prac :D Was so, so good to see the kiddos and Kak Faridah again hehehe.

And then and then. The three of us + Noo + Ari + Mary went to have our first taste of Fried Mars Bars. Omgsh it was SUPER sinfully delish 9: Ultra chocolatey though lolz and believe it or not too much chocolate gives me a headache but yeahh. Then to make up for that we shared a strawberry smoothie (free upsize! all the better!) which was another yummy one, of course. Ahh food, glorious food. :D

Went window-shopping on my own after that. Saw lotsa stuff I'd LOVE to have but hmm, even with the buckeroos I'd probably take a looong time to decide if I really wanted to buy it or not. As usual. Did I mention Prints cards are real pretty? Haiz. Ok, almost everything they sell is pretty. And comparatively affordable.

Right now, my nose is burnt, my hamstring still aches, my lips are ultra dry and my back hurts; all thanks to Saturday's canoe session. 9am to late afternoon hahaha and Kallang River isn't exactly the best place to canoe - the water's pretty choppy. I was, without mention, dead tired after that. There's gonna be another session this Wednesday (and then we get our Star 1 certs, hopefully, yeayy!!).

Wednesday's also Aisyah's birthday. That's a day from now. Fir's is 11 days away, 19 days to Lina's, 20 days to Mum's and 31 days to Dad's. & then of course there are others, like Nad, Khai2, Robs, Mus, Karwei, etc etc. I've never understood why March is so birthday-filled. Lol.

Alright. Shall be a good girl now and do Econs essay. Mwahahah. I don't wna miss Desperate Housewives again, but somehow my interest has waned. And I need to complete my work. (:

wouldn't it be nice* 2253h. 170206.

Today was splendid =) Thank you Allah. Hehh I <3 my class heaps. In the morning, everyone was so excited about class party, and thus so rah-rah throughout all the lessons that preceded Civics. d:

Gave my class Valentine his Spiderman figurine hahahah, I hope you like it Clemens. Abit retarded xD We had Canadian pizza for lunch, courtesy of Ms Kaur. Candy provided the drinks, Ping Ni baked yummy banana-walnut cake 9: and I brought marshmallows! (Why didn't anyone bring chips? Hmmf! >.<) Took many many pics (omgsh please don't remind me of the camera episode. -crawls and dies- now the whole of 1E knows.) Talked alot and then I played bridge with Xi, Candy and Hui Shan. (I finally understand it! Not noob anymore, yay! Hahha spastic.) At about 2 we went to watch Merchants of Cool as a class. Quite enriching la the documentary. Abit old-school but I guess we all got the idea that media constructs reality. Hoho.

Ohh today I did part 2 of my Dare. Still haven't done part 1, sorry Karimah. MUST do it vvv soon (and then can get back at you guys, WAHHAHAHAAHHAAH ;D) But anyway. The dare wasn't so bad afterall, no harm done by making new friends right? Tskk!!

Had tarian today. I'm liking my CCAs alot and I hope it stays that way :D Hehhe and after today I shall conclude that tarian always leaves me in good and high spirits (ENDORPHIN ALERTTT!!) lol. Thanks Kaly, Karim and Fanis for being crazy with me :D

Watched 50firstdates (favouritest movie everrrrr! O: ) with them & 100+ other RJ people at the parade square, under the stars. SO romantic right? Was abit >.< cos alot of them ordered fast food and we didn't have anything apart from the free chips & ice cream puffs. But takpelaa!

So all in all, like I said, today was splendid. & that convo made it even better. -beams-

because love is a strange and funny thing* 1926h. 140206.

5 good things about today:
1. Meeting the OG at the Zcove in the morning, finally after soooo long (:
2. Making my gurlies happy (or so I hoped d: ) with personalised cards & extreeemely cute cows & brownies! :D
3. Chocolate. A hell lot of it. But I guess no one's complaining.
4. Gift exchangeee! :D :D Thanks Siauxi (I'm her class valentine!) for her three-part chocolate gift, thanks Xingwei & Xi both for the pink balloon, thanks Kaly for the cookies, thanks Ely for the graph-paper-note (hahah soooo creative!!), thanks Karimah for the sweets-in-socks, thanks Ping Ni for the posty + twisted heart, thanks Candy for the Fererro, thanks Hui Shan for the note + Toblerone... :D I think that's about it.
5. Afternoon outing with my lovelies <33 (Aini & Ely) We ate at Pizza Hut hahaha. Failed to order the Kiddy Meal (yeah what were we thinking, right -.-) and so quickly ordered something else d: So gabrah hahahahaa.

5 bad things about today:
1. No flowers. None for me at least ): What happened to them roses and lilies and tulips?
2. My hairband was being a biatch and hurting my scalp too much. & I suspect my throbbing headache was partly because of that. Oh and that red patch in my left eye was really making the eye hurt the whole day. I hope nothing's wrong ):
3. I didn't see the ONE person I really wanted to. Sigh. It would have made so much of a difference, I think.
4. No badminton during PE, actually zero physical activity in fact. We had to sit through a lecture about goal setting instead. Nyeh.
5. No date! Hahhahaha. Ah well. At least my gurlies made it good, yeah? :D

*

So where do we go from here?

from this moment, life has begun* 1441h. 120206.

Bik Ayu smsed me just now to say she booked tables at Seoul Garden for Syafiq's birthday celebration. Haizz. Decided not to go since Imran and Lina both have madrasah and there's so much left for me to do. PLUS Seoul Garden = lots of food and the last time I went there I ate too much I couldn't even stand after that. o.O Ah, the gluttony. HAHHA.

Anyw, I was reading thru my History lecture notes and this is what I found:
In 1936, the Thakins called for a student strike against the university, which many undergraduates supported to avoid the coming examinations.

Omgsh sooo sneaky right! Wahaha. There's more:
The strike was effective: it disrupted the examinations, spread to 32 secondary schools and was supported by both the pongyis and peasants, as well as the politicians who wanted to use the strike to serve their own objectives.

TSKKKK.

&&

The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great sadness, you may feel as if you have been set aflame, not only because of the enormous pain, but also because your sadness may spread over your life, like smoke from an enormous fire. You might find it difficult to see anything but your own sadness, the way sadness can cover a landscape so that all anyone can see is black. You may find that happy things are tainted with sadness, the way smoke leaves its ashen colors and scents on everything it touches. And you may find that if someone pours water all over you, you are damp and distracted, but not cured of your sadness, the way a fire department can douse a fire but never recover what has been burnt down.
"The Grim Grotto", Lemony Snicket

i'd give my hand to you with all my heart* 1011h.110206.

I finally, finally got to satisfy my Mee Hoon Goreng (mamak-style) craving today! Quite contented now hahaha.

I wanna go clothes-shopping. My wardrobe needs some serious feeding. Fox is having a sale now (ok, there's a sale almost everywhere), and just now when I walked in I saw soooo many pretty shirts. Didn't want to buy any YET cos umm. I'm like that. Afraid of making impulsive decisions. Nyehh.

There's so much to do tomorrow. SIGH Liyana. So much for "I will not spend my Sunday doing karangan"! Nevermind. For now I will sleep. And attempt to rid my eyebags. And wake up at 7 tomorrow so I can run. Somebody please stop me from over-eating over the weekend and then eating too little 5/7 of a week. Torture la, I say.

I have a rough idea of what to get my class valentine, but I keep having second thoughts. Like what if he doesn't like it? Augh. Guys are SO difficult to find presents for. Ahhhh well. Valentine's. Just now on the train and in town there were so many happy, lovey, smiley couples everywhere. And this is gonna sound lame but I couldn't help but feel lonely. HAIZ. I wish I had somebody too ): I can go on wishing la right. && the worst thing is. That Pizza Hut promotion looks too tempting to resist. I wouldn't mind AT ALL spending 29bucks on a meal like that. Only now there isn't anybody I could go with. But well. That's that.

):

sometimes the distance is more than two people can use* 0043h. 110206.

I guess this is what God wants. And if it is what He wants, then I will accept it wholly as a blessing. I'm sorry I cried, perhaps it was rather insensitive of me because really, things could have been even worse. So I suppose I'm thankful afterall. A little disappointed, but sigh. Nevermind.

To Sanjay if you're reading this: I'm so proud of you, you wouldn't believe it. You rock la okay, NINE pointer. Madness. (And you don't even MUG so that means like, natural ability!) I demand a treat ah? Hahahaha.

And to Zul: Cheer up mdear friend. It's really not as bad as you think it is. I'm sorry about the call and I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you.

I'm a confused person, can't you tell? I don't know what I want for myself. What I really, really want. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with him and what is wrong with this world?

I really wish I could stop caring.

from this moment, life has begun* 2137h. 090206.

Today was weird. For a couple of reasons, I was sad right at the start of the day. Ok, at the breakfast table to be exact.

School was alright. Had hourly breaks in between every lecture/tutorial. Spent the time with 1E people hahaha retarded like anything. (Thank God for wonderful classmates <3)

Something kept bothering me the whole day, though. So much so that I got fed up. Felt mean cos I snapped at a few people today. But really la. There's a limit to everything. I WILL crack if you push it too much. I need space, so be good and give me that privacy. Aughh.

Malay actually intimidates me now. Please God, let this not last. I can't just all of a sudden stop being good at something I've always loved and always been good at. Please.

Well after school I was STILL sad so I called Aini and thankfully she was free, so we met (: Shared cheesecake and cinnamon croissant at Delifrance (after much deliberation of course, since two indecisive people isn't exactly the best combi). Told her alot about stuff and yeahh well. She's the best listening ear, really. Thanks for spending the afternoon with me sis, mwah <33

Sometimes, like now, I think about it so much, too much, it actually hurts. Alot. How now (brown cow)? I can't believe it's affecting me worse than I want it to. Somebody helpppppp. |: |: |:

just stay a little while* 2115h. 060206.

I've been re-discovering good songs ever since I decided to do something about my empty playlist (because it's a new computer, see). So here goes nothing, You & I Both by Jason Mraz.

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
All things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing

Oh but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just dream of
Others only read of the love
Of the love, that I love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages four words
More words than I had ever heard and I feel so alive

And it's okay if you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephone
well, they're workin in the both ways
But if I never, ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside had
Finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of and if you could see me now
Well then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally de de de de de de
Well i'm almost finally
finally out of words

&&&

I keep having to visit the toilet. Is that supposed to be bad? |: Nyehh anyway, From This Moment On is playing right now siggghh what a sweet song. At this rate, I will find myself stoning away thinking of lyrics from songs like that. Grrr. But it's okay, I guess, since there's nothing due tomorrow or anytime soon. xD

GCE 'O'Level results will be out on Friday, so I guess that's half the anticipation done away with. HMMM. Good luck everybody, especially Zul & Sanjay & primary school friends who aren't on RP or IP of any sort, yeah? [:

Today after school, Kaly and Karimah came over. We had a good laugh over some stuff on Engrish.com (really, really hilarious!) So anyway, Karimah checked out the website our seniors created with relevance to an upcoming designing competition. Kaly was saying something about how Karimah's finally found something she can channel her creativity and interest to, since she likes craft and designing and all that fashionista stuff. So Kaly was like, "hmmm what is Liy good at? Aiya everything la Liy eh... music, sports, Malay... ya, everything!". That got me wondering. What's that ONE thing, if there IS that ONE thing, I'm really good at? -.+

all my life* 2139h. 020206.

Hellooo February! Heh. I've always liked Februarys. I think I've mentioned that before. Hmm.

But the downside is. Haven't been feeling too great these days. I hate being grumpy and feeling ugly inside. Erghh. Maybe Fiz is right. There's probably a depression plague around or something.

O level results out next wk is it? Yikes!!

I don't know what to think already. To love is a need, to be loved is a want. Hmm? Haiz. (No this isn't about * btw.) Augh. Whatever.

You're all that I've ever known When you smile on your face all I see is a glow

All My Life is like, the most romantic song ever. Really.

I like it this way actually. I just hate it when I think too much. Like now. Like these few days. NYET. (I wish you would try.)