happening in Texas? I hope the senators know karate, 'cause Jeebis knows the world's gone karazy.
There were a few years of my life that I spent a great deal of time reading a great number of magazines, trying to form educated opinions about current events. I got so utterly depressed I cancelled all my subscriptions and gave up, except for an issue here and there. In the long run, politics have always been corrupt. I figured out that it wasn't politics--people are mean and weak and corrupt everywhere. Then I thought to try a new tactic: stop analysing every thing and yapping about who's right and why, and instead try to do small things about small things. Give to food banks. Sign every initiative that I walk past. give money where and to whom I am motivated to do so- be it the spare-changin' junkie with the cute dog or Dennis Kucinich, who threw away his career because he thought he was right about something that mattered. Spend my dollars with local growers who do things to the land I approve of, even if it's not a totally educated approval. Mainly, though, I try to be brave about my opinions in public. Ever since the WTC crumbled, too many people act like all the dead are sacred, therefore disagreeing with something obstensibly done in their names will make you burn in hell. Of the not-quite 3,000 people, how many do you suppose were democrats/liberal/progressive?
Today's PSA was brought to you by the number 9, the letter J, and a funny little puppet. And also Move On, which you should go throw some money at. Tomorrow will be back to regularly scheduled programming.
8.19.03 Insomnia
After finding one of our many dream condos for sale last night, at an almost-affordable price, I did what any practical-minded girl would do: wrote the cover letter, assembled the book proposal, and mailed it off to prospective Agent Lass. I love freelancing, but there is a definite gulf between "supporting yourself" and "buying yourself a condo" that I'm not currently sure how to bridge. A book deal? A job? A well-paying column in a savvy, hip magazine or Internet site that lets me write whatever I feel like? Selling a kidney? Anyway, then I couldn't sleep at all, and woke up early this morning, like somehow Agent Lass has telepathic powers and will know that it's finished and call me with an offer of representation. Im trying to come up with Plan B, if she turns me down, but I'm not sure what the second step is. Step One, of course, is cry like the crybaby I am.
This is bothersome for a few reasons, but mainly--don't people know about how many drinks are sold in coffee shops? How come the estimates range so greatly? And do you suppose Starbucks donates money against all the cigarette and liquor taxes? Those are one-item taxes; in a way, more "one item" than specialty drinks. I plan on voting for it. For me, it's about equal to putting a couple of bucks a year in a jar that says "Little Timmy Can't Read". And I probably do that already. I am a sucker, as well as a crybaby.
Did Sweetie and I give you pickles last year? We're getting ready for Round 3, In Which Jill Begins to Experiment. Less hot pepper and salt, more garlic and dill? Will she kill everyone, or just make a better pickle? If you have an empty jar, let us know or give it back to us. We'll give it back to you, only with pickles! What a deal!
And: I've decided it's time for another Jiltoberfest. Bowling (non-smoking!), dancing, drinking (finally!), casino, food, games, cake. Don't you wish your birthday month had such a marketable name?
8.18.03 Fret
Having monkeyed around with this page throughout the day, I still cannot make it look the same in both Netscape and IE. Having never had this trouble before, and having not copied the previous code, I can't figger out how to fix it. But isn't he a nice chicken? Pet the chicken!
8.15.03 Today's Helpful Tip:
Don't waste any time whatsoever reading self-published novels about single girls in Seattle that have the chapters interspersed with extremely bad poetry. Use that time to
Rearrange all your books so the ones you want next to the kitchen are next to the kitchen!
Shave that tricky place behind your knee!
Read about Musky Toes! Get it? HA! Camp song jokes!
Remember to take your pain meds at proper intervals!
Put on your slippers, remembering when you were scared of those same slippers thanks to antidepressant-induced insanity!
Write windy emails to girlfriend revealing your cranky observations about what you are calling the "permission dynamic" among relationships that are not your own!
Let your overweight cat bite your hair until you shove him onto the floor!
Write a cover letter to the former editor you want to be your literary agent!
Think about doing dumbbell curls so you too can have impressive guns like all the women at Sweetie's place of work!
Don't do the dumbbell curls!
Call 1-800-33-TASTY and order BOOM a box of lemon pies!
Wish you had another candy bar. Luscious. Period.
Write a list using lots of exclamation points!
Use the glittery red polish instead of the shiny red polish!
Wish you were allowed to bend and paint your toenails!
Do some situps and feel better about your less-than-stellar guns!
Donate some money to Representative Seabiscuit!
Mark your calendar for August 24th, to go see Governor Doctor Man Who Is Impressively Efficient But Not Entirely Progressive Enough!
Depending on how fast you read, you might need more things to do. I would suggest re-dialing 33-TASTY and ordering more cases, but you could also come over and paint my toenails. And admire my abs and re-organized books.
Also: Praise Jeebis! Non-smoking Bowling! Certain to be a Jiltoberfest event!
8.13.03 Meet! Meat!
Two good, interesting articles about finding meat that makes you happy, as well as tasting good. Read about staring contests and wee piggies. The biggest benefit, I think, about seeking out these sources is that you're supporting one of the most important kinds of local businesses. When you buy from local farmers following good environmental practices, your bucks do double duty. That such meat tastes good is just...gravy?
Here's a list so you'll know what days to go where. If you live in Seattle, that is. Also, Thriftways, Metropolitan Markets, and Larry's Markets all make a big effort to buy locally, along with the obvious hippie PCC and Madison Market, which I loathe although I wish I didn't. Dunno about Trader Joe's, but am looking into it. So you don't have to.
It's been two months since my surgery. Exactly. Now that I am down to a single morphine tab per day, I have noticed that a limited amount of sciatica has returned, which blows. It's not as bad; it doesn't run all the way down both legs, and on the plus side it allows me to continue saying "my butt hurts". Dunno if this is going to be with me forever or if it just takes a year or so for the nerve roots to calm down, now that, finally, after 10 years, they aren't being rubbed constantly. Upon reflection, might they not take 10 years to heal? My hip is far better, all of a sudden. That's nice.
If anyone else has a dead printer, I highly recommend my new HP toy. My version didn't come with a USB cable, so all told it set me back $120 ($99 for the box; $20 for a fancy-pants cable). Sweetie's rafting photo looked great, even when I printed it on the back side of the photo paper, and it all operates as easily as machines need to when run by morons who put paper in upsidedown. And yes, like the reviewer said, I thought I was going to break it when I put the cartridges in. I've already been printing bee-you-ti-ful copies of my newer articles for my clips file, and my book proposal (which was why I had to go get a new printer in the first place) is gorgeous and ready to go as soon as I whip out the cover letter. Whee!
8.4.03 Serial Cereal
More cereal box weirdness. The back of the current Cap'n Crunch Original box shows two kids floating on a raft. Kid One says, "I'm bored"! Kid Two says, "Me too! I wish we had some Cap'n Crunch!" Wow. To paraphrase Sweetie's comment, way to promote positive food-related behavior. Bored? Go eat! It's fortified!
Different subject, but sort of linked through a bored kid connection. Go see the movie Spellbound. If you are like me, be prepared to be the only one laughing at an uber-Christian with a severe speech impediment and a musical robot disguided as a scrawny kid with asperger's syndrome. HooBoy, but geeky kids are fun-nay. The little pessimist girl is heartbreaking (or just depressing) and little Ashley with her Trials, Tribulations and Stage Fright steals the show, as far as I'm concerned. Although the little cow trick was cool, too. See how worthwhile it is? Cow Tricks! Tribulations! Asperger's!
I went innnertubing! (Does that word have a hyphen or something? It looks weird. Or wrong.) Anyway, crazy big amounts of fun. Whee! I was sore as hell, but that's only to be expected, as
I haven't gotten approval for such activities.
I haven't exercised my upper body or done a situp in two months.
Lastly, go find yourself some white nectarines or peaches. So sweetly good. Mmm.
