Here I Am!

10.29.4 I See Dead People
I remember a month or so ago I knew a lot of people that expected Bush to pull bin Laden out of his butt this week. It didn't happen. Instead, look at what's been pulled out: an enormously high number of dead people. You'll have to register briefly at the Lancet to read the whole study, but for those of you who like their research first hand, it's probably worth it. If you didn't bother to click the first link yet, people, we're talking 100,000, not 10,000. Dead Iraqis, that is.

My tummy hurts.

10.27.4 Eek!
So I see this headline and promptly squeal with anticipatory excitement, right? And then I see it's not like, Oh, now even cuter! No. Allergies? Sure, whatever. But then at the end: clone any pet for 50 large. Is cloning like other tech, where the early adopters get a quality product but pay through the nose? And then the price sinks rapidly, as more and more companies get in the biznitts, and the product starts being made in export processing zones? Or is it like medical supplies, which only get more expensive as more companies get in on it? At any rate, please: one just like my Gus, only the size of everyone's favorite, Mr. Peebles. And since everyone always wants to take my Tucker home with them, I believe I will soon be offering cloned versions for a mere 75 large or possibly in trade for items like ponies, wallabies and international business class plane tickets. First come, first served.

10.26.4 When Doughnuts Cry
I started my official First Complete Day of Being 35 by being in the middle of a power outtage that affected 3,199 other "customers". None of my early thoughts ran to "terrorist attack"; unless incompetence is the new terrorism. I plugged in the corded phone and cuddled up with the cats to stay warm. Ms. Hummingbird stopped by for breakfast, second breakfast and elevenses. I believe she needs a name. Today's Joke: Can I take my ,000 tax writeoff, now that I have a hummer? HA!

And no, you can't say, "don't quit your day job", because I don't have a day job! So there.

Last night's celebration at Chapel was grand. Happy people, talking about zombies and music and assault rifles and politics and chickens. On my way out, I was accosted by a similarly tipsy gentleman asking if I was familiar with Design on a Dime. I am, thanks to my weird addition to HGTV when on vacation. Turns out Mr. Tipsy is slated to be filmed for it today, as Hollywood Bachelor. We did some kind of weird pinky swear thing. I think I might have promised to watch the show. Or maybe promise that I too am a Hollywood Bachelor.

Present time: I'm resting on an embroidered pillow, listening to Mr. Sexbomb, preparing to hang some new art and read some new books. I am a lucky girl, to have friends like you. Gee, you're swell. Thanks for the loot, and the company, and the general admiration of the reading glasses. See y'all in the nursing home. Preferably, the one on the Vegas strip.

10.25.4 Half Living or Half Dead?
Today is my 35th birthday. Yesterday I bought myself some reading glasses with rhinestones, which the lispy Spanish saleslady immediately tried to corner Sweetie into admitting that they were "sexy". I got him off the hook by just telling him to smile and nod, and then teasing that I would do the Sexy Librarian thing with them. Lispy then suggested Sexy Nurse, too. It was my turn to smile and nod. Yes please, let us run down the list of odd fetishes together, shall we?

Jiltoberfest was rather abbreviated this year. Pumpkin carving over the weekend; I made mine look reasonably like Mr. Cheney, and Jammit provided crazy battery-operated blinking eyeballs that I inserted into his glasses. It was the winning touch, for sure, and really set off the thin hair strips I'd carved into his head. Stabbing a little serrated tool into what became his nostril was deeply, grossly satisfying. A spaghetti squash became Bert, thanks to my direction and actual effort from Sweetie and Samurai. We trooped over to Red Line for a late dinner. Apologies to people trying to work; our table got a little excited when plotting out the proper plan of response for Seattle's coming zombie attack. Sweetie awed us all by knowing where the closest National Guard armory is. Ah, the things one can learn about one's beloved when discussing zombie attacks.

Yesterday, I treated myself to a pound of See's Candy (and the glasses) and then trotted over to catch Shaun of the Dead with Sweetie. Most entertaining, aside from Mr. Obvious Statement guy sitting behind me. A cricket bat looks like a wonderfully satisfying tool to hit things with. It's not like it's the best movie of the year, but it's nice to finally approve of the execution of a funny idea.