post baybeats #1
i am so tired. Way behind in my comparative politics lectures, due accounts, and escalating frustration. Well all's not lost really.
last night i went on the Furniture website, and i saw people making comparisons with them and Mogwai and Godspeed you black emperor!. numerous other blogs were raving about them being Godspeed and Mogwai bands. it was pretty heartbreaking really. I dont feel the need to explain because if u do then ur on the right track, if you dont then.... whatever makes u happy really. total injustice.
Furniture's album ranks up with one of the greatest albums i will ever hear. someday i will put up a list of my fave local albums and another of my desert island discs. i understand that alot of people are now raving about the full length by them, but seriously baybeats this year taught me one thing. About musical context really. the context of consumption, listening.
Concave Scream's set, was worth everything. Opening with a new song that sounded so fricking consistent with everything they've done... it was marvellous... i nearly cried really. Then they went into "hold" and "fiction" off their album 3 and some new songs.
at the intial at of their set. The Emcee came onstage and said something about checking out copeland at the mainstage.. but seriously... i shouted "fuck copeland". ha..
john C and me were saying b4 the gig, that concave scream is really the best Singapore band of all time, i agreed. after the gig, i really think that they are really the best singapore band of all time. Right after the last song, where they sang "rain rain" with that trademark pann and sean vocal harmonies, never has a band being able to capture the whole spirit and mood of baybeats since its first inception in '02.
Jimmy page likened the led zeppelin marathon shows as "electric magic" and i spend half my life wondering what the hell it was. On sunday night, when sean played the opening riff for a new song.. i told myself. "this is electric magic".
i walked around the esplanade numerous times. Today i watched a video that had something about japan's Soseki's movies, and it spoke about the loneliness of industrialisation and the loss of comfort from traditions. Alternative and indie music festivals, are this strange stages where music is industrialized, ala.... emo shit good charlotte blah blah, while rest of it struggles to remain traditional.
Furniture and Concave Scream, is traditional in some paradoxical sense.
to any member of these two bands. U have made a 24 year old totally shit head, extremely happy. Concave scream , inspired so much of myself, not musically but the way i look at music. Furniture produced an album to inspire more people to do music, and not to worry about all that stupid post rock posturing shit. i wanted to speak to ronnie but.. haha nvm lah.i want to say a heart felt thank you.
because u two have saved me from total musical hell. Hahhaaha
Tuesday, July 19, 2005 11:50 p.m.
post baybeats
i am so tired. Way behind in my comparative politics lectures, due accounts, and escalating frustration. Well all's not lost really.
last night i went on the Furniture website, and i saw people making comparisons with them and Mogwai and Godspeed you black emperor!. numerous other blogs were raving about them being Godspeed and Mogwai bands. it was pretty heartbreaking really. I dont feel the need to explain because if u do then ur on the right track, if you dont then.... whatever makes u happy really. total injustice.
Furniture's album ranks up with one of the greatest albums i will ever hear. someday i will put up a list of my fave local albums and another of my desert island discs. i understand that alot of people are now raving about the full length by them, but seriously baybeats this year taught me one thing. About musical context really. the context of consumption, listening.
Concave Scream's set, was worth everything. Opening with a new song that sounded so fricking consistent with everything they've done... it was marvellous... i nearly cried really. Then they went into "hold" and "fiction" off their album 3 and some new songs.
at the intial at of their set. The Emcee came onstage and said something about checking out copeland at the mainstage.. but seriously... i shouted "fuck copeland". ha..
john C and me were saying b4 the gig, that concave scream is really the best Singapore band of all time, i agreed. after the gig, i really think that they are really the best singapore band of all time. Right after the last song, where they sang "rain rain" with that trademark pann and sean vocal harmonies, never has a band being able to capture the whole spirit and mood of baybeats since its first inception in '02.
Jimmy page likened the led zeppelin marathon shows as "electric magic" and i spend half my life wondering what the hell it was. On sunday night, when sean played the opening riff for a new song.. i told myself. "this is electric magic".
i walked around the esplanade numerous times. Today i watched a video that had something about japan's Soseki's movies, and it spoke about the loneliness of industrialisation and the loss of comfort from traditions. Alternative and indie music festivals, are this strange stages where music is industrialized, ala.... emo shit good charlotte blah blah, while rest of it struggles to remain traditional.
Furniture and Concave Scream, is traditional in some paradoxical sense.
to any member of these two bands. U have made a 24 year old totally shit head, extremely happy. Concave scream , inspired so much of myself, not musically but the way i look at music. Furniture produced an album to inspire more people to do music, and not to worry about all that stupid post rock posturing shit. i wanted to speak to ronnie but.. haha nvm lah.i want to say a heart felt thank you.
because u two have saved me from total musical hell. Hahhaaha
oh no not again....
after many many man hours listening to isis and the likes all this time.. since i bought isis' oceanic a year plus ago. i hereby declare that i am at this point in time obessed with this shit man. hahah.
im going to try and make some songs in the like. i guess it all started with hearing the new Pelican single which is 20 minutes... yes 20 minutes of some of the best fricking rock that u can draw a line to pink floyd to so beautiful and here i was listening to shit like that after reading a june 1999 issue of guitar world and brian michael bendis' Jinx which happens to be the most bitter sweet real world neo noir whatever shite graphic novel that like isis and the like and june 1999 guitar world (with a small article on sleater kinney) and good old stay up late at night sifting thru plenty of useless information on the net. FUCKING SATISFYING
oh btw retirement plans are on the way.. as of my 24th birthday tis' year. This is so rocking. and im so fricking tired totally serious.. i need a break from this stupid persona ive taken up. to sum it all up.. the other day i was talking to this dude about some guitar stuff and marcus says something like "SHAUN SINCE WHEN DID U BECOME A GEARHEAD" yes... even i was super suprised.. especially when i told nick the difference between soft and hard clipping distortions... well.. its time to really shed that persona really... just like the last time when i was 18 that i had to retire that stupid JIMMY page persona that i thought was not doing good for my self esteem.
it seems to me that its the best way to settle down and start dealing with my issues that can make up the magazine stand at holland village. start growing up and doing what that makes the dough come in really. have to start living like a 24 year old.. and do things like reading, writing songs and planning life exclusively.. did i mention quit smoking.. haha making my lips pretty calloused and all. oh did i mention falling in love?! hhahah
so here we go.. a part of what i want to do. screw stupid holidays and alcoholic getaways, what i need is to study hard and make full use of my education instead of constantly burying my consciousness on daily existentialism.. it aint working and im saying it because i know it dont work. what matters is that i get what i really need and not the things that i dont. ive lost too many things that do matter, and ive spend too much time and money on what that doesnt. most importantly..
im not going to cut my hair even though many people tell me to... its time to really be who i am. Hahha and that's for me to know and for you to find out..
arggghh this feels like totally a movie...
with no soundtrack and just that permeable sweet silence.. btw if u havent read the previous entry contains my three albums of the year.. yes its june if u havent noticed... and 2005 will just be another ripple in the wave of the 00's.... i wonder how u say that.. 00's hahaha...zero zeros? hahha
i have something to pass to swedishes girl and she doesnt want to talk to me. arrgghh how ah..
anyway..
i have to say this but its bloody bugging me also that three of this year's best releases are already out. These three album easily make it into this year's personal desert island music list, and really makes great listens for those really totally sick of the shit that's coming out on insound or whatever indie explosion that this year has to give us. Come on.. really.. the bravery's playing in sINGAPOREEEee!!! OMG!!! arrgghh.. morrissey looking like glenn danzig circa misfits sounding like OMD mixed with goth infatuated earth wind and fire... ARrgghhhh not to imagine super safe zone fiercely independent lo-fi mixed with prog rock soft updated wes montgomery minus 1 soundtrack music. Will someone bring on the FUZZZZzzzzzzzzz....where's that larry coryell album.. damnnitt
ok enuff of that... some great albums..
Team sleep's long awaited self titled debut, is a must buy.. that's if u can evade the sky high prices that hmv has imposed on music lovers in singapore. DAMNnnit..... anyway it has super genre busting.. portnoy shitting... drums from Zach hill from Hella and its really that good. Presenting vocals (like chino's near corgan wails arent enough..) from pinback's vocalist and helium's mary timony... did i mention TOTALLY gREAT MUSIC... chill out for mad men.. i dare christen this album the new Massive attack Mezzanine.
Jesu's s/t on hydrahead is a dead winner. AFter previous efforts from neurosis, cult of luna and the uber super group Red sparrowes.... Godflesh's justin broderick co-writes with ex killing joke member to PRESENT.. the BEST ALBUM OF THE FRICKING YEAR!! (ok.. any on these three albums.. i meant all of these albums i mentioned are the best album of the year)
Jesu's album is densely decorated with industro noise approved "street cleaner" feedback with beautiful near-brit-shoegaze (think slowdive) vocals and guitars.... Imagine My bloody valentince loveless jamming with nerousis and taking M83 as hostage. Awesome package of songs from start to finish, with each song clocking at over 6 minutes, its a great album for me who thinks that Emperor's Anthems to the welkin at dusk is REALLY a black metal shoe gaze album in disguise. If u see a copy grab it..... metal shoe gaze? i dunnno..
last but not least billy corgan's thefutureembrace... its a... man oh man really good album.. all i can say that.. its a really good album..
if u do not have or havent listened to it.. u are listening to too much insound picks this month..
something calls gtg
in the meantime.. night
Thursday, July 7, 2005 04:44 a.m.
the cat is out of the bag souns in the head: Masada's live in la seville, Sparklehorse's its a wonderful life, Caught in the fall's act iv, the raveonettes' pretty in black and manitoba's up in flames.
ok so's the cat's more or less out of the bag oh well. im pretty much zoinked out by how u can just... under 6 months be total public enemy number one to a person. So seriously dudes, do not take you relationships.. anybody really for granted really. Treasure every damn second and keep mental polaroid of every event every turn of a face, every one of your reactions even if it means leaving horrible shadows. Its those shadows that give depth to later events that happen. Well it depends on whether u agree with me hahah. because it can be very ugly the way these shadows seem.. all this depth... SORRY IM RAMbLING.
anyway i just came back from band prac, got one more tomorrow. haiyah i really think my ears are going going gone soon. Im soon going to kena that pete townsend thing.. that.. tinnitus ah? is it called that.. nevermind nearby bishan got centre for hearing haha shiok.. DAmage control settle liao.. now to quit that smoking habit
im pretty excited after hearing the news that the smashing pumpkins are reforming, its the best piece of news since getting back my 'a' level results serious.. and would make up for that atrocious last pumpkins single called "untitled" so they can make on uber power swan song to leave on... and to kick some serious indie shite ass so good... that the killers would seem like another warrant or slaughter or Kixx or Ratt for the times.. DARN when will people learn DUDE.
anyway the new corgan is fricking good. The future embrace is totally a guitar player's wetdream... please get it.
im still pretty shaky about having let the cat out of the bag really. its, pretty much saying alot of things about me really. half way im feeling pretty disappointed another way im feeling somewhat... un burdened by what i ve done. It's times like that i really want to watch a damn good science fiction novel, something hard and rough and heavy like Issac asmiov's foundation or worse.. arthur c. clarke's Rama series.... or maybe watch the whole entire 2001 space odyssey even having to put up with Seaquest DSV's rob schneider... or maybe worse.. look for that stupid cloak and dagger DVD... finish up michael moorcock's Jerry cornelius omnibus, re-read paul aster's new york trilogy.... after that i'll try and find Return to Zork the game online and play finish it one night straight after one round of ultima: black isle ... and then finish it all off with wing commander one..... ONe time chia lat chia lat play christopher blair and blast it to hell up till wing commander iv where i do some damage with a dragon ship...
all because.. i am dissappointed with the possible impossibility of reality. sometime its good to back in fantasy.. haha
Monday, June 27, 2005 01:46 a.m.
skeletons from da closet
im was clearing my mailbox awhile ago and listening to sigur ros' ( ) its the beest album to do that too really, i cleared like mainly 300 of them. Mainly those were the old Warren ellis emails, insound newsletters and more strange things.
the strangest and wierdest thing most probably was an email from marcus back in 2003 (yes u can tell how long it has been since ive cleared my emails). It was a application for baybeats'03 oh wow... serious, all the excitement and the band bio and all on word format. ITs amazing really totally.
several old emails from the old youth group and all. From the old church crew. old emails from friends and all. from brandon and the likes. Old enquiries for cds, pedals and other stupid things.
including emails from a person who studies in cananda, i am wondering why did i stop emailing her... it was a good things going really. wierd.
an email from daniel sasson, dont ask why. hahah i was too scared to reply really. im way too shy.
emails from various people when i wanted to start a band way long time ago. various bassists, guitarists and vocalists hahaha... well not that many lah u think what like i machum super guitarist.. Its just me and that jimmy page starting led zeppelin mentality, that's what happens when u read the led zep auto bio WAY too many times really.
alot of emails between me and guys from sky in euphoria.
lastly.
that dreaded email from melissa.
painful as hell man. i wonder why i put myself thru so much shit. its funny really. it still hurts as hell. like those wounds just never left. all the things i do and i wonder how come, with so much precise thought and all. that i let my emotions just... control and screw up everything. It just goes to show the limitations of the human mind and heart when it comes to relationships.
speaking of which i havent been to mass for a good month now. im running away from something again.
all these emails i went thru a good two years of them. I even have emails about Zwans formation and the like, of the mystique over who the other members were. Various emails from people who visited this site, ha and girls who emailed and said that i was cute and shit hahha. sometimes i wonder really.
the email from melissa punctuated this whole era for me. unlikely that ive let go of things properly. mainly, the evidence comes from this blog, which was set up around the time that she (for lack of a better word, come on its tough to put it. i meant it nicely tongue in cheek) dumped me. its sad and worrying how my actions without knowing it just... put me in a total mess, whose sesimic reprecussions can be felt now.
looking and reading into the email years later. i cant help but say what an idiot am i. the worse part of it. i am still making the same mistakes really. time after time. its amazing how u just dont grow up.
i cant say i miss anything. but today i realised something: my inability to cope with stress is still troubling me; i am constantly tortured by some unseen worry that ruins the things i do feel or think about. its amazing really.
tonight im going to lie in bed. and ask God really what does all this mean. what does this whole time means.
-what do all these emails mean. i want to ask him what does he have in store for me, what are my good points. why am i still living and having fucking killed myself. failure after failure.
i just got back my results from the previous module and i didnt do too good. i am worried.
i asked a friend is she had a shoulder to cry on for fun. and i was expecting a response like "are u gay?!". is this a product of the times?
the other day i stayed over at this friend's sister's house. which resembled my room but spread over a larger space. but i felt this immense emptiness. is this how my house will be. air conditioned comfy emptiness?!
i think back so hard. what is it that will make it all go away. Christians woudl say God, others say Just chill.
melissa's email about the entry i made on this blog made me think hard about why somethings are better left unsaid but felt, why somethings are better left to fade then to burn out the hard and fast kurt cobain way. but sometimes when is it good to just, blow out the candle.
when i was reading i could remember mel's face. all 20 years of it. and all 4 years of self loathing, pain. depression, tears, longing, self denial, running away and all these words i have picked up over the years to this condition. what exactly are the demensions of hell kim gordon asks on sonic youth's day dream nation, i remember hearing her sneer those words and pondering it over at mass for many times.
looking at my mailbox, i can see what i wanted all along. all the times i tried to .. talk to mel again. the changes. its like this minute graph on the ebb and flow of people's reactions to me. (well i only checked the inbox).
ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space and it is impossible to be inlove with someone like that. No such love exists, only in the gloss of hollywood. the love that exist is of nothing but pain shit and irreconceivable differences. of self delusion and of moral dilemmas just like the porn email that recieve in the midst of heart felt emails from people. it is all but impossible.
i remember the day when mel wanted to meet with me one day just last year. i was at borders looking at discs when she jumped out of nowhere and said hi. i was shocked genuinely shocked. and then we talked and was disappointed that she meant me only to kill time because she was meeting her friends for karaoke. in my head, i was thinking that she only met me because i was only working on the soundtrack for her. how selfish was that, when she was doing all there was to honor whatever friendship there was. seriously i think that its all freudian really.
just like the day i met msp3000 at alliance francaise to watch balzac and the little seamstress. just like the day i recieved the email that sky in euphoria is going to KL to play a gig. just like the day the front man from the band slowhorse from USA sent me a personal email. just like the day momat from astreal sent me a personal email. just like the day marcus wong asked me for a jam for the first time with him. just like the day that i sent my first email to rachel. just like the day i recieved the email from mel. and so many more.
this all seems so fucking impossible. the whole space of my experiences within these years. so fucking impossible.
SO FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE
Thursday, June 23, 2005 04:19 a.m.
i dont feel God so much anymore.
Im now listening to the latest The raveonettes album "pretty in black" and i thinks its really nice, these wide blue eyes Jesus and mary chain Stoned and dethroned era jems are great. Now i wonder if hmv will carry the album in, even if it means having many copies at 19.99 per piece to sell it to the masses. eeeewww yea the masses good thing i have great albums like Fuck me...i'm dead, serial killer and maniac killer.
Glenn sold me this album oh btw... if ur looking for some great music to listen to the same vein as those mentioned, check out Basement records at bali lane near arab street, they carry really interesting stuff from around the region, including the malaysia only release of Opposition Party's old recordings and such. AND... they sell Neurosis shirts, with that times of grace thing.
ok i havent updated my blog in a long time. properly because. to tell u the truth im quite sick of it really. haha.
anyway i have gone for the most number of gigs in a month in my life, goes to show that playing an indie gig in singapore is pretty, ahha easy in a way now.
i went for this "hardcore" gig the other week at substation, just a week after i played there for a hardcore gig as well with Sky in euphoria. it was totally crazy. I all started from that point serious. I felt so damn out of place really, i was shaking and shit. Im totally afraid of the people, and i dont know why. All these my chemical romance, taking back shit and converge and shit shirts and dyed shit one side hair dos. It really just makes me so fucking scared really.
i feel terribly intimidated really. and i was wondering why
the other day i went to the Random gig where I watched KLPHQ play this massive no holds barred sonic attack at Home. it was totally amazing, i'll never forget that Irman from the band coaxed me into getting a DOD classic fuzz, it totally ruined me haha. KLPHQ was undoubtly a beautiful experience, in true blue fuzzed out feedback lined thumps here and there. I was closing my eyes most of the time, literally feeling the guitar wreck damage on eveything.
but unfortunately i came out from that gig a different person. It was horrible. A total emotional mess after that i will not elaborate.
let's just say that im in deep shit, and i feel very very terrible.
very shitty
im also on the verge of totally letting go of this muso-love watever thing man. I saw these words on a gramaphone bag that went something like life has no meaning without music. Seriously. As asians, it disgusting how we afix consumption to everything fucking thing. ARGGggh.
oh well. im signing off.
and i feel terrible sincerely.
oh yea and about the previous post ... haha goes to show how lame i can be when im actually close to something good. When that total banalilty sets in, then it ruins everything and everything is just shit. pure shit. who says that the truth is cool anyway, wait... who says that been honest is cool anyway. honesty is the best policy to a succesful marketing plan.
for the first time in a long time i feel like killing myself.
but i didnt have to.
thanks to a handy collection of grindcore albums i managed to get all the bite off that death wish.
sigh. i am so feeling it again. heavy burden and shit... seriously. someone shoot me.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005 01:27 a.m.
Our last days as children
i just woke up from sleep. i fell into a deep slumber at ard 9pm listening to set fire to flame's trapped in static and when i woke up, i couldnt remember anything that i had dreamt. I was groggy, i reached for my handphone and i had this faint taste of a dream i had of you. I checked my handphone and there was nothing; no new smses or missed calls, just a time, date and my service number and there was this dream that i couldnt remember, filled with black hues shading this conscious recollectiong which yielded nothing but bright as yellow shadows of you.
i thought a little harder and i felt myself falling into that otherness called you.
i felt as though i stared straight into the wide expanse of the night sky filled with four cornered stars.
oh what joy it brought me:
these are more or less my last days as a child and the less i am with you the more i feel like a child, if that is my true nature.
its been quite some time that ive felt like this. The willingness to jump into some sweet unknown. im suppose to write an email to you. oh god, i can hear all my friends all making fun of me, at how smitten am i by you, but they wont because they dont know anything. I have tried all my best to keep you a secret from the rest, but i shouldnt from you.
i am proud that i have done nothing to tamper with the natural beauty that u exude (i sound wierd) anyways i feel wierd.
in some other alternate dimension i can imagine myself proposing to you on my knees.
oh how beautiful you are. filled with trumpets and horns and the swing of a million jazz bands. i can almost smell your hair when i feel that swing. i only wish to leave my eyes burning from the filaments deep.
admist the roll of snares, the strong cross atlantic scents of heavy chested bears, admist deep tones of paintings of singapore propped atop a easel. i cant help but take into account a God and his actions. I want to disregard a world apart that we partake in, i so want to.
i want to see you with your eyes closed and imagine for the rest my lifetime what you could be thinking. i want you to take me away from here, into some wierd beautiful place. It all feels like some mid summer night dream.
i have not gone for mass for a 3 weeks,i depend on my own prayers, on the own weight of my own desire and clarity, to make decisions. unfortunately, it all comes in a mess, even without the effect of God i am unable to quell you.
for the record dear cat, i can imagine myself succumbing to your purring. i cant. i dont know what to do, its all lost in some pages of a teenage magazine, a cleo magazine, a french magazine.
i have unearthed a monster, and it is a person most probably in love with someone who does not love the same. i have made roses out of cheap grass, and guiding lights instead of street lamps. i have made lutes and harmonicas out of late night chatter by the void-decks. You have made me a new place to be in, and to take my God into account of your self, i have made heaven.
-i know i sound like idiot.oh well.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005 05:13 a.m.
Whoa!!! what a day
(some pple have told me that its pretty damn lame to have a what-im-listening thing going on at the beginning of my entries.. oh what the heck im going to keep it because i think its cool to tell pple what im listening to haahah)
souns in the head:Hole's live through this, Keith jarrett's changeless, Norma Jean's o god the aftermath, Faith no more's album of the year and Swervedriver's Raise. WOW!!
what's on: well its the end of another module, and its going to be boring HAHAHA
anyways, i just played guest guitars with vertical rush the other day at POW which was totally fun. We played to a small crowd but its was the most fun ive ever had playing in a pub and all. Cracked lots of stupid jokes and all. In about a few hours time. Im going to play a gig with sky in euphoria at the substation. Im pretty nervous oh yea, partly because i havent strung my guitars with new strings, and havent decided on my pedals and yea and obivious lack of sleep. HAHAHA
i was caught up with esmond and nick which was great hanging out with them. Its little talk cock sessions like that, that makes me wonder that the world are full of really nice brothers and all. hahah. We talked about everything and anything and it was really fun especially having such a nice time at the pub yesterday. But i will not forgive Esmond for lying to me that a girl said i was cute at the gig. HA
tomorrow's gig is going to be an interesting one really. I have always been.. slightly uptight about something... About the whole scene shit i guess. so im going to feel as usual damn out of place. DARN. oh well, the consolation that i have sad to say is the promise of hot young nubile gurls. Oh god i am so paedo sometimes oh well.
last few days have been ok for me. mom's out of town. Pinky's at hotel. And alana's just come home from brisbane. its going to be fun with the sis around, im so going to make her my image (mass comm style) consultant especially when the great singapore sale is on HAHHA
anyway i just want to thank god (oooOOOhhh so religious) but seriously i want to thank God (in caps.. HAHA) for something really. Im being vague because IT IS really vague to me.. sometimes these days when i think of it ... my heart just goes POM POM POM crazy... and its amazing something that ive never felt for a long time.IT is as the smiths say... that "there is a light that never goes out" and its in all of us in our souls that amazing potential. Im sorry i couldnt be more specific.
anyway its going to be great playing tomorrow. I will be given the challenge once again to be cool on stage with my guitar( HAHAHAAHHAAHHA ok ok pple always complain that i look like DARN shoegazer even though i play in a HARDcore Band Gaud...)
here's a nice pic from the KL gig with Sky in euphoria.
its one of me and john helms that josh chee from gloria took..
will be writing more i promise.. HA in the meantime...
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about her appearance. Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality.
Your date match profile:
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need. Traditional - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers.
Your Top Ten Traits
1. Liberal 2. Stylish 3. Intellectual 4. Religious 5. Big-Hearted 6. Traditional 7. Romantic 8. Wealthy/Ambitious 9. Shy 10. Practical
Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Practical 2. Conservative 3. Traditional 4. Religious 5. Intellectual 6. Stylish 7. Adventurous 8. Outgoing 9. Big-Hearted 10. Funny
i just figured out how to put pictures on my webbie after years on this blog. i feel like a total idiot. so be expecting lots of juicy pics on the entries. so u dont have to be sick of my writing!! hahha
anyways, here's to u brandon..
listening to naked city reminds me of how we used to imagine how our own radio station will sound like. We are not alone dude. Waiting for u to come back december. hang on in the meantime.
by the way this pic reminds me of the gay japanese general guy the one that hari kiri himself infront of his men and praticed weird ass sword play in the snow. cant remember his name. U ARE HIM! ahahahha ok nvm..this was taken b4 bran left. and i think this is a bad picture HA
Monday, May 23, 2005 04:30 a.m.
oh glorius pretentious me sounds in my head: ides of space's there is no space, fantomas' suspended animation, robert fripp and brian eno's the equatorial stars, secret chiefs 3's book of visions and team sleep's excellent self titled.
beauty in the break down:
prior to writing this entry.
there were cats in the void deck. Two cats. One of them was a mixture of brown and black, and its paws were white, like little gloves. Alot like mickey mouse the paws made the cat. the other was grey, all cats are grey (musical reference joke.. tell me if u know what song the reference is to and i'll give u a prize.)
fierce.com.sg just replied me about the zvex fuzz factory vexter. The guy told me that he'll get back to me. I hope he does, it took a long time for the guy to reply and after seeing the entry on GIM on edwin's blog (thanks for the pic, im sorry i dont have any of you haiiayyhh thanks lah edwin.. u is really wizard level 100!) , i think i should be careful and aware of my gear investments.
i am not going to do much in this entry, but i will say that i was bored when i was bored and this is my birthright; to be bored. I am now in an emotional mess. I shall write a little piece on cats to intiate leng t'che on myself. oh glorious pretentious emo me.
CATFOOD
i am in love with cat.
the cat purrs all the time
i really like the cat
it wears worn but beautiful articles of clothing
amongst other cats, this cat is outstanding
this cat is good
but this cat doesnt say much
it doesnt say much
i say too much to this cat
this cat tells me that i rot
grangrene has afflicted my head
that i am dirty
that i am nothing
What a wondrous revelation
i try to purr like the cat
i walk with the cat
i take puns with the cat
i dream of the cat
but i am a dog
bukowski's love like a dog from hell
i indulge in
i molest every piece of my synapses
and i showed it to the cat
boom boom shoom shoom
knick knack
the loss of reverance
for this dog and the cat
in my loss for words
the cat steams like a cup of warm tea
over china and loose bags of dried flowers (frowers)
the cat makes me feel horrible
terrible
confident that i am feeling more horrible then terrible
i like this cat too much
way too much
that i am a cat
that i have left my doggy ways
to do this cat
at some point
i will realise that all i wanted to do
was to
do (do) re mi fa so la
every cat
like a dog from hell
dear old angmorh man was right
my dreams are in six
count them
ross, chandler, joey
rachel, monica and phoebe
in circles, around and around
the cat's revelation is quite right
soon in an atomic contact of skin
when i get my first stable job
i am a inexcusable pawn
in a fuck version
of hesse's glass bead game
new york
i hope you are full of cats
good night.
Saturday, May 21, 2005 02:45 a.m.
the beauty of a breakdown (fur elise) souns in the head: Landing' passages, Elliot smith's from a basement on top of a hill and cocteau twins' treasure.
The paper's on friday and im falling ill. Today i went a dental check up and i found out that my widom tooth has been pressing against my left sinus, which may be the cause of my terrible nose problems. Im be setting a day for the extraction which is going to cost a bomb, but it'll put an end to my irritating nose problems which has plagued me for years. Sometimes, imagine my life without the runny noses and the heady swirl, during which i feel that i couldve avoided alot of mistakes.
on health in Shaun's life. Im having this terrible throat infection, could be caused by my stubborn habit of smoking. (DOES IT EVEN QUALIFY AS A HABIT!)
Ive been really horny for a Zvex Fuzz Factory. I just watched a demo movie by Zvex himself on what the pedal can do, and boy and i in love. It just could be the ultimate fuzz/distortion pedal out there in the market, and the best part its fully analog. I think this is bad, because previously, to my knowledge i knew that it was fricking EX! ($400 SGD) but after seeing it on Nel Cline's (wilco guitarist) pedal board, Knowing THAT Matt bellamy from MUSE had one built into his guitar and watching the video demo. I just know that its really worth its price in fuzzed out bliss. Especially now that Zvex has just released a Silkscreened version of the pedal called the "vexter" series fuzz Fac. , its cheaper and has less of the gorgeous hand painted artwork, and a 9V connection. Sad to say its sold out eveywhere, kids with a hard on for MUSE mustve bought it. I just sent an email to Mervin@ Fierce.com.sg to ask about its availability and its taking quite some time. I just might have to buy the original one and get that stupid 9v connector base plate ($30 USD) shiitt..
dream dream dream: all this excitement has lead me to one of the wierdest dreams ive ever had. I guess they were right when they said dreams are representations of our anxieties and big concerns. ok here it goes, the dream of 11th may.
i dreamt that i was talking to some wierd dude at some coffee shop. We were discussing a dealership in the Zvex Fuzz Factory pedals, provided that i could sell 6 in a week and i'll only have to pay $200 for my own. So I said yes, and next thing i know it im in this shopping centre akin to golden mile centre (arrggghh im having a headache) and we got to move thru the place in one of those carriages in coal mines (possibly its me reminding myself that im still stuck at one of the gameboy advance ZELDA stages.. ok nvm) So im with these two other fellas, one of them was nice, the other was a pure dick head. For some strange reason i was older one, and constantly thruout the carriage trip i was feeling pressured to act older (!?!?!?).
so we end up at this wierd foyer, where we met up with 3 other guys and this 2 girls. The two girls were hot, and they were dressed in this ambiguous black dresses. The 3 guys were decked in the same shirts and pants and shoes, all in different shades of purple. We talked a while, and all i could remember was that i told one of the guys about the fuzz factory and he said he would buy one, and i liked him. (i have to stop using the word LIKE).
so we went off to some crowdless big party in a venue that had an octagon ring in the middle, kinda like a ECW ring (extreme championship wrestling). the lights were big and loud, and the music like the jukebox u hear at the Jurong East ice skating ring... Cheesy.. sounding like they had one of the coach drivers in malaysia to DJ the set up. So we meet this girl there, she was in one of these nice hot samey dresses, but she had this wierd strange glow (well i know who she is haa but i wont say.) she says hellow to me then grimaces, making that expression like "wat the fuck is this GEEK doing here". So i like her. So they start hitting the "dance floor" which was on this raised platform in the middle of the octagon. did i mention that the whole time, i was shorter then that rest of the people?! and i was wearing my secondary school jeans, my old blue new balances and some generic t shirt that i wore to sleep one too many times, with some church event design on it. I remember smelling like bath soap while the rest smelt like the Centrepoint robinson's first floor, drenched to the pore.
After some dancing later, everybody started stripping. the guys and girls all started taking off their clothes when the music stopped. It was like cued to stop when they took off their clothes. Next thing u know it they all fell to the floor, naked, ontop of each other. I was standing next to them, noticing how this tableau of an orgy is been built slowly, as the naked bodies keep slithering, maybe trying to find the most comfortable position. The hot girl i mentioned before took off her clothes last, and slid inbetween the bodies staring at me, to spite me. Nice guy was beside me, he was just like me, just paralysed at this scene.
Next thing i knew i walking away. I wanted to go inside the flesh orgy, although by then there wasnt any movement. Just some kids naked on top of each other. I caught sight of some occasional tempting pubis here and there. Something was stopping me. The nice guy asked me if we could help them. I said i could for some reason. Next thing i knew it i had a large piece of drawing paper in front of me, and in my hand a pencil. I drew a box and i wrote their names inside the box, and i circled the ones that i liked. (excluding the hot girl) and i took the names that i liked and called them out, and they all got dressed all of a sudden. While the remaining people were in the naked slump, i tore the drawing paper.
Later on i was outside and i was at a coffee shop, i think the old city hall s-eleven near the national library. I was sipping on a cup of teh peng, with the rest of the remaining guys, which was nice guy and another guy and nice girl. I wasnt smoking, but the atmosphere was nice and warm. all of a sudden we shot out our right hands and started shaking each others like real friends. We hugged one another and swore to always be friends and be there for each othern at all times. i looked at nice guy and he said that he still wanted the fuzz factory, i laughed. After which i turned to one of the girls and she smiled at me and i smiled back. i called to pay for the bill, and it was the most heartfelt "pay the bill thing" ive ever done. With each coin and note i struggled to produce, to foot the bill, i felt this swelling in the middle of my chest. when i had found sufficient change to pay the coffee shop uncle, i turned back to my friends and they were gone. I heard the sound of taxi cab doors slammed shut, two taxis left from the bus stop.
it was then i got up from sleep, and here am i trying to relate to you this story. strange huh. Actually i know who;s who except the last few that was with me at s-eleven. It was this whole spectrum of faces and familiar hugs. If u were a part of this before thanks alot.
ok so ive been really writing way too many entires over 3 days. first one was about the KL trip, the second one was me drunk totally on Nine inch Nail's new album. so what's this one about?!
i did nothing the whole day. I watched television alot, watched triple 9, beastmaster (which i happen to like alot) and... this nice "invasion of the body snatchers" kind of movie called threshold, its on cinemax. I did tons and tons of sleeping too, TONS TONS...i was happy with the later nap session though because i had this megaton wierd dream. I cant remember anything much in detail, but i had moved temporarily to holland village at block 61. I met kelvin lee for supper, but i had drop pinky off at home first. it was pretty wierd, i was always cooped up in my new room, which was everything i wished my room could be. Stereo systems, neon lights, and the best of all... wait i have this wierd obsession with low ceilings, have to get a psychological diagnosis of that. Freud anyone!?
I now feel terribly guilty about today's narcoleptic fit, so much so, when i have an exam this friday and a paper on the codes of ethics (sounds so cloak a daggerish eh). I came to one conclusion really, that i should really stop sleeping so late. Ok so what have i been doing?! i ve been on Msn talking to a certain someone, haha which is totally fun and i think that person's nice. whole night i was playing DJ which is something that i like to do. I mean what else can u do with a 800+ cd collection eh!?
well, this is the kind of entry where the writer attempts to connect the dots. I on the other hand just need to straighten out what things i have to do tomorrow, call me an extrovet if i have to write on my blog to get things out.
ok tomorrow, dentist at 10am (yes i am getting braces... so sad), after that, im going to buy my running shoes, and then buy A NEW fresh ink catridge so that i can print out my paper. How exciting!! Not forgetting tomorrow i will have to really realy rush myself to do my studying. I'll be frank, ive totally lost interest in what im studying now, for some strange reason. Im now doing journalism and just... dont find any fucking connection. I dont know why. Is it because of the prescence of better much more talented people in class, or the fact is that at my age.. IM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING. i have to get myself motivated really. i just cant seem to cling on, to some mental zone where i can get everything done!
one of the solutions i had, was to organise a get together in my house. I dunno throw a party!? urrgghh.. ok that was lame. Im really trying really. These few days ive been staying at home more often to spend time with mother. Ive been going through people's blogs, which is a bad habit, and it has a certain effect on me. I feel terribly low on myself i dont know why. I guess when people say a blog is good, is because the person reading feels he/she is at a comfortable level. I mean, would u connect to stephen hawkins if he had a blog, Ok ok.. maybe herry basuki will. I guess personally, i really freefalling ro being a person who really needs to ground himself in something. To tell u the truth, whatever grounds i had has been pulled underneath me, that all struggle and pain to live just has no effect cause im so numb.
message from shaun.. If u all feel pained or u know all that stuff that songs write about, ur on the right track really, u are living at the speed of life which is a marvellous thing when u look at it at a distance (well.. maybe at my distance). Me, on the other hand, am living at the speed of defecation, eating and consumerism. im not being pessimistic or anything really but... i really feel the need to shit badly. i just kinda got stuck at one stage i guess.
im planning on going to tioman and bury my butt cheeks with sand. Daren says that people recognise him there. Travel. hhmmmm travel. i dont know man.
to a certain person studying swedishes in melbourne: How are u doing really. im serious ok. Things have affected me alot so. I just want u to know that i wish u all the best. If u want to talk just do. im waiting for us to talk again.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005 08:14 p.m.
nine inch nails' with teeth
Ripe as gold, pale as the deepest industrial bowels. You might've seen it all, the right Genesis Porridge, the crow, KMFDM, god lives underwater, christopher hall stabbed westward and the pure dark industrial pessimism that plagued the 90's and made a commercial breakthru the past years. From popularised industrial kling klang OSTs, to nu metal, the whole cheesy shades of rock has more or less sold out, or rather bought in to the fluffiness of mogwai's over re-written discography.
i just came back home with Nine Inch Nail's With teeth, just fresh from HMV (god forbid if i was able to get a NIN disc from a major store, i had to order mine thru Chua Joo huat thomson plaza.) I had heard the single "the hand that feeds" previously, and i frankly thought it was a rehash of some Depeche Mode song, namely "everything counts" just check out the bassline. It sounds runny after awhile, with all its drive and fuzz bass orientated groove, but listening in context of the album. Its is imperative that they do this.
for me since secondary school, Billy corgan and Trent reznor are my darn heroes. NIN's with teeth at first listen sounds like an attempt to take back, to bring back the sweet innocence of Generation X pessimism, after being raped constantly by Nu-metal linkin parks. In doing so, With teeth comes with extremely simple digipak sleeve, with only a picture of him and a track listening.
The musical depth of the album is amazing. This is Nine inch nails most focused and venomouse dose of Gary numan, depeche mode, david bowie and robert smith cocktails. It forms itself beautifully, track after track it wraps its delicious melodies around your psyche. With teeth plays and sounds and feels more closer to the fragile, in terms of its emotional enstrangment from the music. "beside u in time" plays better and better with each increasing listen, letting his trademark synths weave thru blips and bleeps. I cannot say more about the album's songs, all dense with some struggle to keep itself afloat, from doing something he has done before and expression. This album is trent reznor on the edge of life and death, he wants to live but yet he wants to die as an artist. And this is when he excels.
I give Nine inch nail's With teeth, an essential listen album. to compare it to previous albums would be nonsensical, u dont compare nick drake's byrter lyter to pink moon in terms of which is "better". To fall into technical comparisons would be a sin as well, because after so long. Trent reznor's whining has given way to something else that as cheesy as it sounds, that We are always fearful and burdened by living. just think of it as Doestovsky's notes from the underground, Kafka's metamorphosis and William s burroughs naked lunch.
on a more personal note.
this album means alot to me. When i heard the album i felt pretty emotional. i used to live inside the downward spiral album alongside white zombie's devil music vol.1:la sexorcisto. I admit that if i was born in the 70's i would believe that every fucking bon jovi album was good even if it wasnt.
"home" the last track on the album starts off with a synth riff with the pulsating drums reminscent of "the day the world went away". I must add, that the songs on this album runs like downward spiral, coming to a soft coda, that soothes, so much.
to sum it up. I really feel like crying when i hear this album. It reminds me of an old friend. HAHAHa.
Nine inch nail's with teeth, revisits blueprint musical landscapes and ends up alot more sparse, but alot more deadly. Furthermore, this album is the end of nine inch nails. Give it up Trent, stop reminding me how good it felt to be in pain.
honorable mention album of the month: Petra Haden and Bill Frisell.
oh no liar my pants are on fire: For the past two days i've had nothing but really, i really mean really, heavy dinners. Last night i ate shit loads of food at bishan, today steamboat and not forgetting my food explosion at Kuala Lumpur. Seriously i so have to get running and excercising, i feel so damn bloated and Im so going to explode really.
KL penpals: i came back from KL on monday, and it was great really. I took loads of pics and shit, mostly of the new Paul's Place which was a really chill out place cept that it was REALLY hot and by singaporean standards its super ulu location. Despite its way outness, It didnt stop a small but steady great crowd of people to come to the gig.
sky in euphoria played alongside 3 other malaysian bands, First was Lied, which was a spin off project which had The bassist from tempered mental and i kinda knew the vocalist, he came down to the shop before. The next one, Infinite delay, really threw me off with the name, i was thinking it was going to be some TOTALLY lame postman rock or something like the other SINGAPOREAN band with the same name Delay with the hot vocalist (ha... only a select few like brandon and marcus WILL know who im talking about). Infinite delay on the other hand, consisted of 4 members who looked like ur old friends u used to talk cock with in secondary school, ended up playing a most... most... most...... fantastic blend of fuck shit spazzcore fucking up the whole brick shit house! Infinite delay played a totally killer blend of the locust and pig destroyer, basically if i remember correctly, about 9 to 10 songs in 20 minutes. other than the fact that they're GREAT musicians, they were great people too, its guys like that who wear their passions with this really great warmth that's totally infectious.
next band was totally killer. Cassandra's set for me was a total wetdream for me. With two vocalists, and a killer guitarist and urghhhhh drummer. They sounded for me like this totally true to life early poison the well, mixed with some super black metal passages that really really was just too good, and some really GREAT silent slow shoegaze-esque pauses. I really like them alot, i even spoke to them before the show. I also met Meng the guitarist from love me butch who was selling their cd which i add is really great.
it was really fun this trip because all the guys were tasked to our surprise to literally handle the important bits of the gig. The organisers well, were really bone dry short of hand, so we set up, did tickets and had a little mini shop. i guess i totally think that the Malaysians who helped us, talked to us and chilled out were absolutely great people. I dont know i get this different vibe from them.
ghost in the machine: for me this trip has been a total strange far out thing. I guess i surprised at certain things i did, felt and spoke about. Aside from the usual cockahnanden things i did. the trip in a whole just made me feel really like grown up and all. Its like these internal psychological landscapes, are mapped out at once when i think back. When i look at what points i went and all, i am surprised really. I told daren after the show at Nathan's that i will never ever play the way i did that night, the best part is i didnt know why. Playing in sky in euphoria for like 3 gigs, i realise that internally my whole consciousness and the music as a band is pretty consistent. I feel that as time goes by with playing music im finding little pockets of weird feelings, just like finding these old photographs of yourself that u never thought u had. It's difficult to say really, really difficult to say. I mean pple may say that im really stiff on stage and all, but im going thru this wierd process that im trying to articulate and... get it on words in a way i think its going to be beneficial to me and others.
Slick slick MF: the last few days, well, sad to say since the trip. Life has treated me to the world's greatest fuckers. i really mean fuckers. I could be a REAL fucker and mention names but i won't at all. firstly there's the really fucked up i cant be bothered im too popular and stupid kind of person. I mean seriously, what the fuck are u trying to say!? U cant even communicate properly and cant even exercise priorities and all, can i say that ur a fucking idiot!?? Arrrgghh there are some stupid fuckers and some really asshole satanic fuckers. Oh well i guess i shouldnt harp on stuff like that. It kills me really. AND THAT's YOU U FUCKING SHALLOW FUCK.
oh yea the kena bluff part: a few days ago, i kena bluff big time. kena bluff big time. It seems like this long linear flow of problems with the opposite sex and this is so the final straw really. oh well, im so guillible really. it sucks. I dont mean the kena bluff as in the normal romantic kind of bluff, but being taken advantage of because ur nice and all. oh well. i guess its all part and parcel. i wish to speak openly about people like that at a UN conference live on CNA.
so the recent module's done with, i havent bought my textbook yet, and trust me things have changed as hell the way i look at it. Its times like that, i can catch a whiff of some detergent fragrance on a hot afternoon that reminded me of some nostalgic restlessness. At the same time, i can feel some wonderful weight on my shoulders. The other day i admit i went to zouk with some guys, and it surprised me really.
oh well, i have an exam coming up, and i feel like i really havent achieved anything at all. I thought to myself and i think that i seriously dont put much effort in anything ive done for the past few months since National service. I found this out while playing Republic Commando, which is a great game by the way ha. Even in music, or even in this little entry i am not just putting in the effort, that's why half the time of my conscious waking time im always thinking like a mixture a ian curtis and mooty the mouse. i guess i have to make sure that i make an effort in everything i do. but most of the time.... ok let's not go there... ha
i feel like fuck that i so easy kena bluff by hot girl. argh.
Sunday, May 8, 2005 09:31 p.m.
a new dawn breaks?u sure anot.. sounds in the head: brad mehldau's elegaic cycle, Largo and art of the trio vol.3, Petra haden and Bill frisell, Sonic youth's murray street, Bardo pond and bill frisell's ECM selections... (yes i like bill frisell's playing very muchhhhhh)
with youthful fervour: ok tomorrow ive got school, and im going to get cables at swee lee, and im getting zip block bags.. and.... Im LEAVING FOR KUALA LUMPUR to play a GIG with sky in euphoria!! WOW!!
ok i'll be frank but im really excited but trying hard not to really, well its because i think being excited is overrated big time. Playing at paul's place and its a big thing for me to play there because obsevatory and other bands great M'sia bands and S'pore bands played there. Im pretty much blushing at the fact that im playing a gig in KL and plus sky in euphoria's playing a more or less guest band act... hahahaha... its a good experience or rather its going to be one.
well, things have been on the fly these days... Come and go come and go... my ears are ringing like mad and i have to admit that sky in euphoria.. we are certainly a Loud BAND. Firstly my guitar is loud, so it the other one,,, the bassist is loud and by far the loudest conductor of low frequencies, and the VOCALS are loud, and the drummer is.... LOUD as well. Oh well it just equates to us being BLARDY LOUD. which is great really.. hahah... sponge up whatever's left of my youthful capacity to play loud as love music. What i find interesting is how i am approaching this gig. i guess i am able to empty myself of whatever fun and exicitement because i have no one close to share my experience with, im not saying the rest of the guys but someone who has been with me all this while or something. someone that's extremely special i miss having that kind of person around. In a way its better u know, i have this wierd focus and calm in me, which i find how i get there intruiging. i m happy to be going with these great group people there, but its wierd but from day one ive always felt inclined to just... be focused with the main intentions of this music vehicle.
well, i wish that i had someone close that i want to share this experience with. Its just this deep sense of longing i dunno, in fact i feel its not isolated to this area, but its difficult to find joy in what ur doing when ur in it alone.
a few minutes ago i was staring at two photos. and i told myself that i had some close i could well haha... believe in. Then again, a split second later my super ego kicks in and tells my Id that its not possible, another perfect freudian example. Still i thank god that i am in this position to feel this way, because i can be focused on different things, although on the other hand, i would prefer .. hahhaah
alot of things have happen since the beginning of the year.. yea..
mel if see this leave a tag board msg. I doubt she does even. I have a feeling that its it already.
i m currently working on a new blog.
seriously alot things have happened.
i have self diagnosed myself as a Dysthmia sufferer.
HOLY SHIT Is this amazing or what!!
So here i am with my com at the table where i slog and try to study. Alot of pain is felt in between the wood gains of this table. I have one day (and that's today) to study for this behavioral science exam which is tomorrow and im down with quite a number of chapters to cover, including two application papers which i am so going to skive thru.
as u can see from my previous entry, things well havent been going that well, but im coping. Ive been studying and in between, sparodic little exciting things happen when ur stressed: Im pretty excited about Star wars episode 3, xbox's Republic commando and.........
NELS CLINE
The reason why im writing this entry is because ive had a peak experience from a stupid recording! abraham maslow believes that our lifes are made up of super duper memorable fleeting moments of intense emotions, and more successful people apparently have had those peak experiences much more often so then those that are relatively less.... better off. I just downloaded two tracks for fun off www.cryptogramaphone.com from the nels cline singers AND GOD ALMIghty!!!!
before i right anything further i have to admit that i heard about him only just recently, that he's joined wilco and yea that cover page special on him in guitar player (which is the first issue of any guitar magazine ive bought in like YEARS) So i absolutely know nothing about him prior to 2005, and that im jumping on the bandwagon, SO fucking WHAT! Im a posuer! hooRAY! And thanks to marcus who passed me a vid of wilco live with nels cline. and boy was it a major prelude to some great fleeting experiences that i only want to live to have more of them. Nels cline with jeff tweedy's playing is the most ground breaking thing since Kid A hit mainstrem discmans in secondary school boys! Mangling country rock into a super hearfelt amalgam of searing emotional noise-nik free jazz with the control of wes montgomery on drums (he doesnt play drums i know. oh what the hell im running out of metaphors for great shit like that.) Its pure beauty im telling ya.
then after reading more about him www.nelscline.com it all came so clear.
NELS CLINE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT GUITARIST IN THE WORLD TODAY
About the mp3's i downloaded just now, they're from his little trio he calls The nels cline singers (how apt!). You can get the mp3's here FREE MP3s!! and trust me. these songs serve only to remind me of one album that i totally love. Chavez's gone glimmering was one of those wierd albums that i couldnt figure out half the time What the fuck they were playing, wierd timshifts and john bonham grooves and some straight ahead pavement esque quirks. Matt sweeney and the rest just ploughs thru these wierd garage guitar indie (!!!!) landscapes conjuring more substantial forms of wierd eeriely warm americana like on sonic youth's bad moon rising. I LOVE IT!
The nels cline singers' two songs are from their latest cd the Giant pin, and they reveal this totally exisitent sound that i have been kept in the dark about this whole time!! On the first song "he still carries a torch for her" it opens with a sure as Great Opening chord that takes me back to all those special sonic youth opening songs! namely bad moon rising and sister and blah blah... Blaring loud and pissed off with some really great SDRE type drums and before u know they break into some bowed bass and then the most interesting bit of DAMNED guitar noise u will ever hear.... lasting 7 mins, this song makes me cry! DAMN!
Matt sweeney joined Zwan, i was disappointed by the album, because i was hoping a Corgan/sweeney would yield some TRULY powerful moments... but... its was great while it lasted. he just realeased a new album with bonnie prince billy... and... i tried it out at HMV and... boy ... oh boy... id rather go back to my jayhawks albums.. i was sad.... and so i listened to the killers(!!!) and posty rock blah blah to try and find greener pastures of sonic euphoria. i have to admit that post rock is really a bad bad bad term... indie post rock worst... i am post shaun now.. in my post anal stage. i cant believe that these songs were made just last year. HOW COME AH........They are SO GOOOoooooddddddddddddddd!!!!!! ARAGHGAGGRAGrrgraghragraghragh
and here comes this splendid blond jazzmaster wielding dude with an AMAZING BACKGROUND (not to mention a similar taste in guitar effects which i IDENTIFY WITH hahahha i am poser!) in recording... If i havent convinced u to just try and download the mp3's and judge for urself then aku fail sialeeee.....
maannnnnnnnnnnnn........
i can totally live in these two songs mp3's man...
ok back to studying.. i talk too much cock..
oh ah seng ah.. ok ok i wont sell my guitar gear.. wait u cane me. Hahhaahahah boys school style! Piiiiaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk
Friday, April 22, 2005 02:30 p.m.
all is not so full of love souns in the head:dave douglas' strange liberation, John abercrombie's class trip, paik's corridors, vitesse's you win again gravity, smashing pumpkins' siamese dream and the beta band's hot shots 2.
waste of time: i have two days left to study for my exams and ive covered up till the first chapter. I was figuring out why the hell i cant get myself to study for the exam, and i kinda figured out and i feel the damn need to write a darn entry, to get things of my chest i guess.
well the last few weeks alot of things have happened. I was smoking downstairs the other day at my voiddeck and lo and behold i realised that i have alot of thoughts that are quite a burden to me. Namely, that i had taken quite a huge offense towards someone. It could be that im too sensitive or anything but, this time its big. BIG ass offense and... i dunno lah its so going to be huge. Based on this my actions and all will change alot of things really, from the music im listening and playing to blah blah i knew this would happened when im too close to a certain group of people and all.
so here i am unconsciously thinking of a means and course of action to get over this fucking situation. I cant really, because im already too knee deep in things and cant. The person just msn me. I cant talk about freely because i know about the implications involved and all. no amount of stupid desentisize porno treatment can get me out of this really. especially with an old friend who just kicked the shit out of me inside out a few weeks ago worse than a mental hospital patient who wouldnt eat his pills. Fuck im telling u. this is the real deal fuck.
so all i know is that i have to study. really bad.
if not im going to fail this saturday's paper and why, its because of these stupid people.
Oh god. why must shit like that happen. I really cant do anything. There's this normal drive to just escape from everything like just pretend its all a damn dream.
No one can help me really. ive got to do this on my own. Let's just say once i get things into motion i can prepare to sell my guitar stuff. So pple get ready for and all out super guitar gear sale from shaun soh.
im really all heavy hearted and all from these two people and all crackling and alfred e neumen envious with the holes in the teeth. The worst part that it takes quite alot of effort and dedication to get thru the last round of these commitments. That's what happens to you when u get too comfortable in these things, when something screws up and u need so badly to pull out because ITS WRONG and all. On the other hand, the other person, just ejected me, pure as hell like shit.
i guess i just need someone to talk to really.
ok im going to try and hit the books for an all out extended war on my priorities. i cant help it but remember that someone warned me about this.
that's the thing. when she warned me about it, i was defensive. now im totally on the verge of a full offense.
but without it im really like a fucking joke nothing.
nothing dude. how does it feel when uve got nothing?
why did u two have to do this shit to me.
maybe its me.
well that adds a third person. that made me so horribly conscious of me bring really anal about things.
im not trying to look like a wounded animal or anything. really.
im just trying to do what's best for myself. after living that stupid illusion for so many years that's what's best for me if best for everybody.
i better get to the books. i hate myself and i want to buy.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005 02:03 p.m.
the wonderful world of love and other self assuring methods of reasons to live for sounds in the head: black rebel motorcycle club's take them on, on your own, Blur's think tank, Bill frisell with elvin jones and dave holland, Early day miner's all harm ends here, Oval's dok, tristeza's dream signals in full circles and pink floyd's animals.
total fuckdown: ok so its been a long time since i put an entry. Im back in the shop and there's a weird band with some major wierd garage band asethetics going on. I cant even make out some solid equations but it sounds like some old time stone roses mersey beatniks doing a strokes or killers along with a dash of some clever cheesy guitar modulation. They're jamming now along with some heavy ass feedback that kills, i mean kills its not humanly possible to take that kind of feedback they're dealing with. The best part's that ive got this inkling that its from the Vocal mikes, making in highly unintentional, which is secondary to imagined garaged band asthetics or whatever fuck.
oh well, so's last night i goes to zouk for little house music with all that drums and toms and bongos and sweet chilli mangoes and whatever turns on the feets sans melody or cerebral play thoughts. I have to admit that going to zouk along with alcohol does submit a considerable amount of your esteem, to some wierd coast of this fantastic dream. Its strange when u start to realise that going to places like that orders a reaction from you fully, that u can darn as well predict right down to the last breath. Well, last night was kind of special:
Chen, terrance and me were outside doing the usual look see at girls and all, when we saw this group of guys. These guys were the great kind, the ones with the shirts and the hair and the accents, right smack in the middle of pure post pubescent abandon and soaking up yuppie elitism. We overheard them talking real loud, kinda like miming how their dads may have talked about not making more money then the money their making, which would be alot. the kids (i use this term loosely after all they were really really spunky and the girl they were with looks like she chews pencil ends.) ... the kids were busy bitching about some guy who... pissed them off.,, well... im trying hard to fill in the dramatic bits in between but then i'd be lying hahah. oh well... Anyway that happened at 1 am. So they went back into zouk, hitting their dancefloor with pure black metal fury (as how ozzy would have sung wheels of confusion), with a reason to plan, rationalise, with the full faculties of up frontal brain pushed to fuck and figh and fill themselves. Talk about taking a bath, these guys wont settle for a manicure let alone a colon sand blasting. yummm....
around 3 am, a fight breaks up on the dancefloor, and a half a dozen sharp bouncers fight back the crowd to stop break up the brawl. The heads up in smoke screen dancers rip apart and there u got it: The fucking explosive nexus of all our fucking fun loving instincts and caring instituitions.
Intentional stimuli: i have delayed my return of 3 VCDs to VideoEz for a total of 4 days, a total record breaker, and for the first time i will be paying a fine of nearly 12 dollars. Just now i went out alone to eat dinner, and i wast thinking, why didnt i return them earlier! Trust me im so beginning to feel so stupid and all, its as though ITS A good reason to feel depressed about, being unable to return my VCDs is a darn as hell easy thing to do but i just couldnt??
conditional response: Today because of class, i came to some terrible conclusions that my current lifestyle is a really bad one, and that It is so detrimental to my health, future and yadah yadah. My sleep habit i realised are extremely screwed up, and thinking about it, i realised that i only eat one meal a day, and i hate snacking, so basically im living it up like neatherdal primate who just Cant sleep (PRedators.. EVerywhere!!) and Cant eat (food... hunt...) At least today i feel somewhat motivated to change these bad habit really, its not that im like suffering from narcolepsy or anything but, i really feel veyr strongly that i havent been living out my potential, because of these habits (disorders).
School started like a few days ago, and im the only other guy in a class of 15, which is quite, wierd really. i dunno why. These few days i cant but feel totally retarded by things going on in class, i dont know why. Im really beginning to feel that i just cannot ever live up to what people say im capable of really. That's why i wanna change my sleeping patterns. Its really frustrating after so long that, i dont smell what people say they smell on me (well, cigarettes including), i mean if i dont change my habits now and i end up with a fucked degree, i would never know if things would have turned out differently if i had just simply... slept early.
the last few days in music has been a little fun really. Its been 10 years since audio compact discs hit the scene and all, i rememeber at chua joo huat when they were like the Richie rich stuff, over the bland cheapness of cassette tapes. oh well, now cd stores are now pricing them at lower prices, especially those bad ones and albums that have passed their "cultural significance" and serve to only remind people of what was that had come. Just a few days ago, i had purchased some treasures, at a awfully low price. I bought Cranes' loved and wings of joy for only 10 bucks at the midpoint cd/dvd store. I went there browsing after school, btw i saw a DVD of King crimson doing a 1984 concert mean ass shit really. I was looking thru the bargin bin area and lo and behold, i saw deadeyedick, Jawbox, daniel ash's solo album, and a whole lotta music treasures really. I admit that i do try and find the rare stuff online, but nothing beats the feeling of finding it first hand alone at a records store.
so there i was salivating at the sight of two dedication record label releases, Cranes' wings of joy and Loved (there's still one more copy of loved there anyway, so if u want BAaaaOOO!!!). That i released that these are rare as shit releases, well not that rare, but u cant find it at some gramaphone i think..hahah. Anwyay it was good to have these albums over the pass few days really, the mix of cocteau twins with the pummeling drill like rhythms of industrial metal bands with the visceral chainsaw guitars and The cure like Depression inducing melodies are a great refreshing difference to the current dead on dick head shoegaze indie craze. I really think we're going to have interpol or death cab on teens magazine soon.
Well, im going to do something really stupid real soon, as in like in a few hours time, and the fruits of my idiocy will be realised like around next week, 6 days shipping. I must trust computers i must trust computers.well, its all for the love of music and looking good.. all i know is that i must meet the KING OF JETS. I BAN EZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so how's my love life.. argghh WHY is god's name must it come to a point when a mandatory part of this entry must be dedicated to something like that. How's my love life, urgh.... I really really wish that i could go back to those Archie andrews kind of little bitch love thing (i couldve used puppy love but....urgh) oh well, now its all like infinty gauntlet on marvel comics... oooohhh how i feel like thanos all i wanted to put my hand into the MOST POWERFUL GLOVE~~IN THE GALAXY!!! (sexual innuendo alert).. protected by adam warlock, a most alpha male dude. Screw him.
is it true that the media just places too much emphasis on romance and all? Commercials and shit? Possibly maybe. U know somehow, i think im an old fashioned kind of dick head, i wish that i could find the person that i think i love when im younger... and then get it on with life, so that i can just forget about this whole Intersexualsocialpolitical REALM that exists only to burden us, maybe the only reason why its burdening us is because we're too BORED.
BORED BORED BORED, bored of this meaningless CONSENSUS OF WHAT's REAL AND WHat's NOT....
i've got like 2 quizes tomorrow an application paper to hand up, a stupid thing to do, a lifestyle to fix (IPPT in october KNN!!), more dreams to squander back, more band practices to screw up, more cigarettes to stop smoking, have to meet King Jet the second and man i really miss you. darn.. ok i never tot id say this but darn i really do miss you.. shit man i hate being animal, i am figuring out a way to release dopamine by will in my hypothalamus so that i can feel good anytime cheap cheap free free.
a few milliseconds after i wrote that i whole miss you thing, i find it damn cheesy and lame.
