N'Clones and Other Losers   |    7:46 p.m.

Just when you think nothing else can possibly happen to make you say "What the fuck is George Lucas thinking?" Along comes something else. Something that makes you remember the scene in Empire when Luke has just learned that Vader is his dad and he screams "No...that's not true...that's impossible!"

And let me introduce you to Jeff and John. If someone compiles a list of the saddest, sorriest, most pathetic people in 2002, these two have already laid claim to two of the top 10 spots. Why? Because they have begun camping out for tickets to Killer Klones from Outer Space (AKA Episode 2), four-and-a-half freaking months before it opens.

Avery Schreiber, 1935-2002   |    7:24 p.m.

Avery Schreiber did Doritos commercials, as well as a bunch of TV guest stints in the 70's and 80's. I remember him best from the movie Scavenger Hunt, still one of my all-time favorite comedies. He played the zookeeper whose beloved ostriches disappeared one-by-one. And like a lot of other talented comedic personalities like Dick Martin and Nipsey Russell, he was a panelist on The Match Game. His brightest moment: when the audience booed one of his answers, he ate the card on which he'd written the answer.

TV 2001   |    11:21 p.m.

Another year of too much TV-watching.

I could've seen more movies, or completed some apartment-improvement projects, or worked on fan fiction. But no, I watched television. Among the unfunny sitcoms, past-their-prime dramas and reality programming crap there were so many programs worth watching this year that my rerun schedule for next summer is already filling up with programs like "Smallville," "The Tick," "Undeclared," "Alias" and "Scrubs."

Here's the list. I selected the best show, the best new shows, and alphabetized the rest.

• Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Best Show
  The death of Buffy's mother. Buffy's death and resurrection. The Musical Episode. The departure of one of the three original members of the Scooby gang, while another one is heading for a trip down the Dark Side. Spike and Buffy's consumating the three-year "thing" between them that literally brought the house down around them. No other show took more chances, chances which have paid off handsomely. And no show does more to prove how utterly irrelevant the Emmy awards have become in judging television excellence.
  
  And there's more to come. Fallout from the Buffy/Spike encounter, which on any other program would be a clear jump-the-shark moment. Xander and Anya's impending wedding. Willow's continued dependence on using magic and its reprecussions on everyone around her. The continuing adventures of the Three Geeks of the Apocalypse. Buffy's ongoing struggle to balance her supernatural duties with her sisterly responsibilities of raising Dawn. And there are the rumors that an ex-Scoobie (Tara? Oz? Riley?) will die by the end of the season.
  
  There's also the additional bonus this fall of watching Seasons 1-5 this fall on FX. As with JMS and Babylon 5, it has been so amazing to see hints of later events revealed in these earlier episodes. Buffy's season 1 nightmare of becoming a vampire, complete with Giles' digging her out of her grave. Spike's unabashed romanticism ("I may be Love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it"). Willow's selfish streak, and her increasingly disturbing use and misuse of magic.
  
  
• Six Feet Under - Best New Drama
  The other big show about life and death, this one about a family dealing with the business of death while struggling with the business of living. I wasn't impressed with the early episodes. Everything seemed too forced, from the artificial dysfunctionality of Brenda and her family to the way each episode opened with the death of someone bound for the Fisher & Sons funeral home (starting with Fisher family patriarch 10 minutes into the first episode). But somewhere along the way I got completely drawn into the show, and by the season's end was eagerly awaiting the next season--which begins in March. It has the same stellar writing and acting that you see on Oz and The Sopranos. What makes this one stand out, however, is a connection with the characters that is absent on the other shows.
  
  Although Tony Sopranos and his crew, and the inmates of Em City make for interesting and compelling characters, you don't necessarily like them. Because of who they are and what they do for a living you keep them at a distance. But I liked the Fishers, and I wanted Ruth, Nate, David, and Claire to find whatever it was they were looking for in their lives. And without a mob hit or prison intrigue in sight it was their daily struggle with living that made this the most exciting of the HBO programs.
  
  Kudos for creator/exec. producer (and American Beauty writer) Alan Ball for making the most impressive jump from film to television since David Lynch did Twin Peaks.
  
  
• The Chris Isaak Show - Best New Comedy
  Your banana-bread delivering stalker disappears. An ex-girlfriend posts a picture of your butt on the Internet. The woman who won the "win a date with you" contest is a transvestite. And your "Behind the Music" segment may not have enough tragedy to be interesting. All this and more in the life of an ordinary rock star.
  
  I hadn't planned to watch this one. I ordered Showtime to get Queer As Folk, and got this loopy, delightful show as a bonus. Isaak's easygoing charm anchors a great ensemble of actors and nonactors (with the exception of scene-stealing Jed Rees, the rest of Isaak's bandmates are part of Silvertone). It has also boasted a wonderful lineup of guest stars, including Minnie Driver, Peter Wingfield (Highlander), Jon Polito (Homicide) and musicians from Stevie Nicks to Bret Michaels.
  
  VH-1 is now running the series, and while most of the premium cable series cannot be edited for basic cable this one will probably be OK. It's a good chance to check out the series before deciding if you want to spring for Showtime or buy the season DVD sets when they're released.
  
  

• Angel
  Now that the show's coming into its own, I have to trust that Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt will not screw things up now with the whole baby thing.
• Coupling - BBC America
  Like Friends. Only funny.
• The Daily Show
  Thank God for Jon Stewart
• Enterprise
  Thank you for disproving my theory that a 10-year moratorium on Trek serious would be needed to save the franchise.
  
• The Home Improvment troika of Trading Spaces (TLC), Changing Rooms and Ground Force (BBC America)
  I have lived most of my life in apartments and don't see this changing anytime in the future. But I love these shows anyway. And if TLC can successfully Americanize Changing Rooms, why can't HGTV do the same with Ground Force?
• Match Game & Let's Make a Deal - Game Show Network
  Dumb Dora. Old Man Periwinkle. Brett Summers. Charles Nelson Reilly. Dicker & Dicker of Beverly Hills. And Rice-a-Roni (The San Francisco Treat) costs $0.39.
• Oz
  Still riveting, albeit frightening television.
• Queer As Folk
  This one made the list but is on double-secret probation. Based on the astonishing UK miniseries, it was better and worse than I thought it would be. Weak writing can be fixed, but a lack of chemistry between the lead actors, probably not. But hopefully this new season will be better.
  
• Sex & the City
  Baby plot. Same concerns as Angel, but will reserve judgment.
• The Sopranos
  Ralphie beating the stripper to death, but having to apologize for the greater transgression of doing it behind the Bada-Bing. Christopher and Paulie stranded in the Pine Barrens during a snowstorm, sucking the ketchup out of fast food packets like they're one step away from recreating the Donner Party. But the best scene of season 3: the moment when Dr. Melfi could've told Tony about the rape, knowing he'd have her attacker killed, but she said nothing. She was on the cliff, she looked over the edge, and realized that losing her professional and personal integrity--and possibly her soul--were too high a price for getting "justice" against someone the police and courts could not reach. So she stepped away from the precipice, and told him she was fine.

• Show that ended too late: La Femme Nikita
  
• Worst show that is still on but has jumped so many sharks it has left the aquarium: X-Files and ER (tie)
• Best show I'm not watching: Farscape and The Simpsons (tie); Runners-up: most of the summer reruns I listed above
• Most critically praised show that I just cannot stand: The West Wing
• Best show starring the object of my friend Tori's non-stalking obsession: Band of Brothers

"I don't think Harry Potter and I are going to be friends."   |    8:34 p.m.

Quote courtesy of my mother (whose closest literary excursion into SF/Fantasy has been the Anita Blake vampire novels), while struggling through the first few chapters of the first Harry Potter novel.

Fellowship of the Ring...or, George Lucas is a hack.   |    6:05 p.m.

What a fantastic, beautiful movie. I cannot recommend this movie enough. Unlike the Harry Potter movie, it makes me want to read the books. Unlike The Phantom Menace, it has left me eagerly anticipating the sequel. The Two Towers, 360+ days and counting...

Except for several half-hearted attempts to get past the second chapter of The Hobbit, I have never read Tolkien. I do read a lot of fantasy fiction, most of which has borrowed at least something from Lord of the Rings (particularly Dennis McKiernan, who I now realize borrowed a little too much of Middle-Earth for his Mithgar novels), but I've never been interested in reading the trilogy. And when I heard that the immensely talented and underrated Peter Jackson (Heavenly Creatures, Meet the Feebles) was giving it a 3-picture-300-million-dollar shot, I decided to hold off on reading the books until after the first movie. After having such inflated expectations for the first Star Wars trilogy after waiting for 10 years, I wanted to try this one with no expectations. And all I can say is...Wow.

See this movie, even if you want to wait until the crowds thin out a bit. But it's a movie that demands a big-screen viewing.

Thirteen   |    6:01 p.m.

"What is the number of Natalie Portman's costume changes in the Attack of the Clones trailer, Alex?"

A question for Mr. Ashcroft.   |    1:20 p.m.

"We need honest, reasoned debate; not fearmongering. To those who pit Americans against immigrants, and citizens against non-citizens; to those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty; my message is this: Your tactics only aid terrorists - for they erode our national unity and diminish our resolve. They give ammunition to America's enemies, and pause to America's friends. They encourage people of good will to remain silent in the face of evil."
--from Attorney General John Ashcroft's testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee, given December 6, 2001. Transcript is here.

How can one engage you in "honest, reasoned debate" without you in turn accusing us of "aid[ing] terrorists" for daring to question you, your policies, and the truly frightening direction that you and the Bush administration are taking us?

I always had a sense this is what I was...   |    9:09 a.m.

I am a Lobster Telephone. For nine potatoes have my multi-throttled keys subdued the nice leaves of strangers. Sprays of wild satin guacamole enters my document. I relish four mushroom deals with metal. Do you bite the wax tadpole? The Utterly Surreal Test

This is art. This is your personality as art.   |    8:59 a.m.

If I were a work of art, I would be M. C. Escher's Lizards. I am a bizarre juxtaposition of the real and the unreal. Based in the realm of mathematics, my two-dimensional appearance belies a complex and free-willed behaviour which both delights and confuses people. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.   |    1:25 p.m.

If I was a James Bond villain, I would be Auric Goldfinger. I enjoy golf, gold, and bisecting people with industrial lasers. I am played by Gert Fröbe in Goldfinger. Who would you be? James Bond Villain Personality Test

We like the show so much we're gonna take it on the road.   |    5:22 p.m.

Overthrow an unfriendly regime by funding and arming its enemies? What an original idea!!! Our government certainly hasn't tried that tactic before. That Bush administration has some incredibly creative thinkers.

Weekend Reading   |    4:56 p.m.

From Salon: Buffy, Spike and their sexual dynamic. Also, an "Everything You Wanted to Know" guide to Mulholland Drive, a definite on this year's Top 5 List even though the third act veered off into such hallucinatory weirdness that Memento makes absolute sense in comparison.

From the Washington Post: an article about TLC's Trading Spaces. I've become hooked on this show, as well as the British show it's based on (Changing Rooms on BBC America). The Trading Spaces marathon will be the Xmas marathon to watch. Unless FX does another Buffy marathon or BBC America does one for Red Dwarf...

From the Vancouver Province: a nice little story on Callum Keith Rennie, the current #1 on my Favorite Actor List.

And from the Guardian: another on-target editorial about the Bush Administration as seen from across the ocean.

CNN...NOT   |    11:02 a.m.

Where are you getting your news? I'm seriously asking. I'll even post the programs, newspapers and Web sites here.

I can tell you where I'm not getting my news: CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC and FOX. It's crap, all of it. For TV news that's less filtered and gives you a better sense of what's really going on, try BBC World News if you have BBC America through your cable provider. If you have digital cable, check your channels for News World International (NWI). Instead of the 11pm Law & Order rerun on A&E, I now watch The National, a Canadian news program. The only American programs I'm watching right now are PBS's Frontline (watch their episode on Saudi Arabia the next time it airs) and Comedy Central's The Daily Show.

I'm not reading US newspapers on a regular basis any longer, with the exception of the NY Times columnists. Common Dreams, with its daily compilation of challenging and thought-provoking articles from around the world, has quickly become one of my favorite sites. Other good alternative media sites include Alternet and Counterpunch.

In case you were looking for another film list...   |    10:34 a.m.

...because that's the real reason why films exist: to arrange them into lists.

Playback, a Canadian film magazine, did an industry poll to put together a list of the Top 15 Canadian films. The reason it's 15 and not 50 or 100 is that the magazine itself is 15 years old. The list is by no means complete. Double Happiness and Kissed, the breakout films for two of the countries best actresses (Sandra Oh and Molly Parker) didn't make the list, nor did any of the Cronenberg films. Other missing films include 32 Short Films About Glenn Gould, Whale Music, Curtis' Charm, and Love and Human Remains.

What's is cool about this list are the top 5: The Sweet Hereafter, Hard Core Logo, Last Night, The Red Violin, and Exotica. These are the exact five I would've chosen, and probably in this order. All are available on video and DVD, though the only one so far with the deluxe DVD treatment is The Sweet Hereafter.

Let's All Go to the Movies [Harry Potter and the something or other]   |    12:20 p.m.

I was actually planning to see "The Man Who Wasn't There." But I got to the window and for some reason the phrase "Harry Potter" came out of my mouth instead.

The first 'holy crap' moment of the evening came when I saw that the price of an evening show had gone up again, this time to $7.75. It's one thing to pay this kind of money at Garden Hills or the Lefont Plaza for a movie that isn't going to play anywhere else in Atlanta, but for a film that's playing on something like 1 out of every 8 screens (and at my theater is was 6 out of the 24), it's ridiculous.

I was in one of those rare moods where I wanted something to eat during the movie, so I headed over to the concession stand, and there I had the second 'holy crap' of the night. $3.25 for a small popcorn and drink. Each. Last year I did research on movie theater chains for my business librarianship class, so I know how they operate. I know that something like four of the top 10 chains filed for bankruptcy last year, and that many others are struggling to keep afloat. I know that the theater chains will keep little or possibly none of the box office receipts from Harry Potter because it all goes back to the studios, especially in the early weeks of its release. I know that their biggest source of revenue comes from concession sales, which they don't have to share with the studios. But if they're marking the prices up so high that some people pass on the snacks entirely...you can do the math.

The theater wasn't too crowded, but then it was a 9:30pm Tuesday show and the movie was going on every half-hour. Got out a small notebook in the event that the Inner Geek took over and I felt compelled to write down everything I could remember from the upcoming "Attack of the Clones" (gag) trailer.

The film was to start at 9:45, but they were dimming the lights by 9:35 so they could make time for all the commercials. Yes, another sign of an industry in trouble--though they would call it "creative revenue generation." If there's a relationship between the number of commercials airing before a film and the overall financial health of the movie theater chain, then Regal is on life support. There were 8 commercials, and all I can remember is that one of them was for a soft drink.

And now the previews:

• Fellowship of the Ring. Beautiful trailer that makes me excited about seeing the film. I haven't read the books, except for several attempts over the years to get past the 3rd chapter of The Hobbit, so I have no heightened expectations. I learned that the hard way after waiting for 10+ years for the mess that was The Phantom Menace.
  
  
• Johnny Newton. A Nickelodeon film, which means orange video cassettes when it arrives at Blockbuster in a few months. Computer-animated thing about a group of kids who rescue their parents from aliens, I think. It looks like a good film for children. I thank God I don't have children so I cannot be forced to go see this.
  
  
• Joe Somebody. That's really the name--I didn't forget it. It's a movie with all television actors. Tim Allen, Patrick Warburton from 'Seinfeld' and 'The Tick.' The blonde from 'Ed.' Someone from 'Ally McBeal.' The little girl who used to play Lizzie on 'Guiding Light.' Jim Belushi. With all these TV people I know the film will look just fine on video.
  
  
• Spirit. A Dreamworks animated film about the Old West, from the viewpoint of a wild mustang. Uh-huh.
  
  
• Majestic. Jim Carrey's 2001 Oscar grab. Amnesic. Small town with 1950's values--the good kind. Finds himself after getting lost. Or something like that. Plus the blonde who was Mulder's contact on the piece of crap formerly known as the 'X-Files.'
  
  
• Scooby Doo. To paraphrase the 'bots: What kind of fresh hell is this?
  
  
• Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Costume Changes. No Jar Jar in the teaser-trailer, but I know it's out there, somewhere. Plenty of stilted dialogue and awkward performances, so I guess Mr. Lucas hasn't gotten that writing-and-directing thing down yet. There's always hope he'll master it by the third--oh, who the hell am I kidding?
  
  Most of the trailer is an Anakin and Amidala courtship montage, complete with about a dozen different over-the-top costumes that I'll be seeing at next year's DragonCon. See Anakin and Amidala picnic in the grass in an idyllic valley. See them kiss under the moonlight on a balcony overlooking a lake. See them traipse across the harsh Tattooine landscapes on an adventure. See them beat the shit out of each other in an abandoned rowhouse until the anger turns to passion as they fuck each other's brains out. (I'm sorry, that one was from last night's "Buffy." My bad.)
  
  Anakin's temper tantrum scene could end up being as unintentionally funny as Luke's whining about going into Tosche Station to pick up his power converters.

For the movie itself, I'd give it a B/B-. The special effects are fine. The acting is good, particularly by the adult actors and the kid who played the male best friend. There's some good drama and action near the end of the movie. But the film is emotionally uninvolving on every possible level. If I hadn't promised someone I would read the book by the end of the year I wouldn't bother. Several friends from my old job have told me how wonderful these books are, but I couldn't get that from the movie

The problem is the screenplay, and maybe the desire of a powerful writer and the thousands upon thousands of fans who wanted to see a cover-to-cover adaptation. I think that so much effort was made to make the movie faithful to the book that (screenwriter) Steve Kloves forgot that there some things in novels that don't translate well into film, and you have to compensate for that even if it means making changes that don't match the source material. And this is the man who wrote the fantastic screenplay to Michael Chabon's Wonder Boys.

We don't need no stinkin' international peacekeeping forces   |    11:46 a.m.

From today's Guardian. This comes just 48 hours after the Northern Alliance took Kabul without getting permission from the U.S. to do so.

It's official. We have learned nothing from our past mistakes. Over and over we have formed alliances in Asia, Africa and Latin America because our leaders and policymakers still cling to the belief that The Enemy of My Enemy Is My Friend. In the short term (which for most is the time between now and the next election), maybe there's some validity to that. But in the long term, The Enemy of My Enemy Will Just Become Another Enemy When Our Interests Diverge. That happened the moment the Northern Alliance was in a position to retake Kabul. And they are already telling us they'll be OK now, and that we shouldn't let the door hit us on our way out. Anyone in the Bush or Blair administrations who is surprised by these unfolding events should be looking for a new job.

With all the calls since September 11 that we should support the Northern Alliance, everyone forgot that they were the reason the Taliban was welcomed when they first came to power. The Taliban promised law and order, and nobody believed that things could get worse than they already were. The Northern Alliance is made up of warlords, thugs and rape-gangs. Nothing has changed. Fundamentally the differences between the Taliban and Northern Alliance amount to setting out 2 vs. 3 forks for dinner.

But their our friends now, so they'll listen to us because we helped them. Now that they have Kabul, they're not going to begin pillaging, raping and destroying everything in sight as they turn on each other. Of course they will agree to the presence of an international peacekeeping force so they can build a peaceful, multi-ethnic, women-inclusive government.

Yeah, right.

Saying Goodbye to Patriotism   |    8:49 a.m.

Talk about a paradigm shift in how we should think about ourselves and our place in the global community. Jensen's speech is one of the most interesting and thought-provoking pieces I've read on Common Dreams, where outstanding writing is the norm.

My kingdom for a transporter   |    8:10 a.m.

The Headstones are doing a live show right now at Toronto's version of our 99x: Edge 102.1. They're on to promote their new album, and bash Creed ("religious rock sucks"). This is the closest I may get to a performance by a band that doesn't seem to venture farther south than Buffalo.

"Went down to the cemetary, looking for love. Got there and my baby was buried, I had to dig her up." From "Cemetary," off their first album Picture of Health. His baby is also embalmed in love juice.

Before the commercial break, Hugh Dillon does a pretty decent impersonation of Christopher Walken in Pulp Fiction telling the watch story to Butch.

It's strange listening to Hugh trash record label-packaged music, because it reminds you so much of his Joe Dick character from Hard Core Logo. Though I'm reasonably sure Joe is the only one of the pair who urinated in a record exec's drink during a show. But it does give a sense of how much Hugh brought of himself to the role, not to take anything from screenwriter Noel Baker (whose on-set rewrites were clearly influenced by time spent with (Hugh).

So far they've played "Come On" and "Blowtorch," the 2 new songs on The Greatest Fits. And my favorite song, "Settle" from nickels for your nightmares.

Hearing them live...Oh my God. Even on the web they're amazing. They played "Cubically Contained" and "Smile and Wave" from the Smile and Wave album.

They ended it with some talk about their future plans. An HBO movie early next year, with Hugh acting and the band doing some of the music for the movie. Some touring that will not include Atlanta, as usual. And a final dig at Creed ("Matchbox 20 and Creed playing a double-bill in hell").

Officethink   |    8:00 a.m.

Got this from a friend last week. If all firms are handling their emergency response like this one...

Names removed to protect the innocent and stupid.

I found out Monday that I had been randomly selected to be part of my firm's Emergency Response Team. According to the handout, I am supposed to be 1 of 2 stairwell monitors from our floor. Basically I make sure people get downstairs in an orderly way. I had a few questions (do I need special training, do I leave after our floor is cleared or after all the floors above us are cleared, etc.) and sent them to the woman in charge. She called me yesterday. Her response? "Don't worry about it. It's just fluff. You can leave the floor anytime you want. You don't have to stay." According to her, it's all just a formality for the building management company. They assigned positions to all these people, but have no plans to run any kind of a drill or anything to make sure the system actually *works.* Greaaaat. The more I thought about it, the more irritated I got. I mean, why even bother assigning positions? Why not just make a PA announcement: "Everybody run!" We have that nice big target right across the street--you would think they would take this a little more seriously. Sorry to bitch, but I just couldn't believe it.

My Inner Robot   |    7:27 p.m.

Quality shows with none of that 'Smackdown' aftertaste.   |    6:08 p.m.

The biggest surprise so far this TV season is that I've watched more UPN in the last week than I probably have in the last two years.

As someone who thought a 10-year moratorium on Star Trek series and films would be the "last, best hope" to save this franchise, I cringed when it was announced last spring that Paramount was pushing ahead with a new series. And even after the announcements that Scott Bakula was playing the captain, that it would be a prequel to the original series, I had no plans to put it on my calendar. But the word last month had been decidedly positive so Mom and I watched Enterprise.

I was very impressed. A much stronger debut episode than the three series that followed the original. Bakula was fine, the actress who plays the Vulcan wasn't too bad, and the Chief Engineer is already my favorite character. The sets are fantastic. Instead of making them "futuristic" the way filmmakers put glasses on a beautiful girl to alert the audience she's a "nerd," the designers have made the sets look like they've evolved out what we're making now and thinking about making in the next 20 years. While some things like equipment glitches are going to get overused, at least it will be new concepts that get overused, instead of the ones recycled so many times on TNG, DS9 and Voyager. Which means no Borg, no Q, and no holodecks or holonovels.

Buffy kicked off its 6th season this week, and has immediately been upgraded from "watch-when-I-can" to "must-see-at-all-costs." A great two hours, with some disturbing hints of dark and unhappy things to come. I'm not happy about Giles leaving, but if Whedon is giving Anthony Stewart Head his own show I'm signing on. Between new Buffy, syndicated Buffy, and Angel (which I'm now catching more than missing), Joss Whedon has taken the lead over David Chase as my favorite TV showrunner/demi-god.

• Crossing Jordan - this is what happens when too many ideas are stolen from other shows and thrown into the development blender. Cobbled together from Quincy, CSI and Providence, with nothing unique or fresh. Jill Hennessy and Miguel Ferrer deserve so much better than this.
• Philly - I'm on record as disliking nearly everything Steven Bochco has done since Hill Street. The only reason I started watching this one was because Kyle Secor (Homicide, of course) would be playing Kim Delaney's ex, which means the entire purpose of his character is to make Delaney's look more heroic. Unfortunately, the show comes on the same time as Judging Amy, which I watch even though I should know better. And with Reed Diamond (also from Homicide) playing Amy's suitor-to-be, it's not much of a contest. Philly is watched during the commercial breaks, and so far I'm not impressed. Except for Kyle.

Taped Alias, but haven't watched it yet. Pasadena was surprisingly low-key, but it had enough going on--lies, history, infidelities, family dysfunction, murder, wealth--that I know I'll be watching tomorrow night.