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Tuesday, November 26, 2002 09:04 a.m.
PS: I changed the song..."Somewhere out There" Our Lady Peace
(I had another entry...but the jist of it was "Janet quits the world"...I am highly upset w/ alot of people...one in particular...so um yea)
Monday, November 25, 2002 04:16 p.m.
OKay, I am sitting here watching this herbal essences commercial; I don't understand why any chick would wear eyeshadow and mascara to take a shower, even if is for a commercial!! Honestly, people, if you want the commercial to be as lifelike as possible (even tho I don't kno many people who have orgasms over washing their hair...) then you shouldn't flipping be wearing makeup!! I guess I can understand stuf like concealer or whatever...but one doesn't need eyeshadow and mascara. Just thought I would share that you...
Today was kinda interesting...ummmm, but I don't really wanna share about it right now. And I think I should go b/c Jess is prolly trying to call me right now...
me~*~*~
Oh, hey, only one month til christmas!
Friday, November 22, 2002 01:18 p.m.
Okay, haven't updated for awhile. So here is what is rocking:
First of all, the whole "embarassed" entry still stands; I think its even worse now. *Sigh* And Mikey likes someone else. Go figure. Oh, and did I forget to mention Pat broke up with me. I found it kinda amusing; he sends me an email for the first time in over a month, and its to say he wants to see other people. Whatever. All the best to him. Just another guy who got me to believe lies...however, this time I didn't let myself believe, and didn't get hurt. Hmmm...anywayz...
Second, my friends still are the greatest. I mean, they truly are. I can go to them w/ any problem, and no matter what, they make me feel soooo much better. ANd when I'm depressed, they tell me all the things about me that are good; like the convo me and Mo had, when I was crying and she told me that any guy that passes me up misses out on so much, and that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me. So, yea...(don't really know what to say)
third, I am really ready to like hunt down jerry, b/c I didn't get home until 10:15 last night from vargos (and given that I am still 15, thats, well, a lil illegal). I am dead tired, didn't do like half of my homework AND i fought with my dear ol' mum who now wants me to quit my job. I flat out refuse for 3 reasons: 1. I owe her a month now, for a cell phone, and how can I pay that off if I don't have a job? 2. Christmas is coming up, and need some more money for shoppng and 3. Dad isn't working (again) and I need to find some way to support myself that doesnt include going to my parents to get cash. It really tweaks me that he isn't working, and doesn't seem to want to find another job to make up for the gap in our family's income. *sigh*
Omg...Dan doesn't work at Vargos any more!! it's so sad. I can't believe he just walked out...I'm not really sure what happened. But he's not there anymore. *sigh*
ILT is almost over, so I'm wrapping it up here.
peace and much love,
me~*~*~
Monday, November 18, 2002 09:20 p.m.
OKay, Jessie I really wanna thank you for everything you did for me on Friday. I really really really appreciate it. YOu are the greatest, and I am soooooo glad that you are my friend, b/c I think I might be lost w/o you there. So thank you for everything that you have given me. YOU ARE THE GREATEST!!! Stay sweet! Love ya babe!
Monia, that poem was beautiful. I don't even know what to say. I am soooooo glad I know you, b/c you are the sweetest girl in the world, not to mention the best friend. I don't even know what to say, or how to thank, b/c you know how much ya mean to me. I love you like a sister, and I don't really know what else to you. Stay sweet, and keep on rockin' my socks. I love ya!!
OKay, so I have this latin quiz tomorrow, and I really don't feel like studying, so, guys, guess who is gonna fail?! Me! And well, don't feel like doing any of my other homework. Or anything else. Had a boring day. School sucked. Go fig. I think the best part of the day was hearing that poem. It was sweet. Thanx MoBear. And then, well that was it.
I like Mike. I think most of y'all had figured it out. Oh well, I'm saying it anyhow. And my friends are the greatest. I am gonna leave it at that (except, H U G E thank you's to Gabi and Kate ... it was great--life would suck w/o you both. ).
and I think the only other thing I have to say is that I talked to Jacqui P. like an hour ago. It was great. Well I think thats all for me
peace and much love,
me~*~*~
Monday, November 18, 2002 09:19 p.m.
(by the way, this is from like sunday....so yea)
Why does everyone seem to want to get involved?!?! It is kinda upseting me. And yea, I am speaking of the cast party. I know you guys want to help me out and all, and I really appreciate it. But y'all don't have to farking make a fool of me! Believe me, I'll do a good job of that myself. Well, I guess the nursing home is calling me, so I am gonna go.
the ever embarassed,
me~*~*~
Friday, November 15, 2002 04:05 p.m.
OKay, wow. Life really sucks. Things are just absolutely blow the big one. But where to start? Well, first off, I am really upset b/c Todd has decided to give up everything from his "past" life, and that includes me. He is one of the most sweetest guys to grace the earth. He proved to be a better boyfriend to me when my own boyfriend treated me like shit, even tho he had his own girlfriend. Just in case you are reading this todd, I love you, and I will miss you alot.
Besides that, I am dealing with alot of people problems. Me and Alaine are ok, b/c apparently she thought I was like ready to kill her, and called her a whore, neither being true. on the flip side, I thought she completely hated me. So it's all good. And in a weird way, I think I have to thank Michelle for making it all good, b/c in a way she started a convo between me and Alaine. In regards to Gabi, I need to talk to her. And I don't know if she thinks that I plan to bitch her out or what, but I'm not (surprisingly enough). And it's gonna be tonight, at the play. Which strikes a whole new topic. Boys at blowmont. Didn't really think I would see the day. Anywayz, jack is nice, and he is pretty much the only one I talked to, besides Joey, but I didn't know Joey was Joey. And I met pete (thanx, michelle, thanx...LoL--i wanna be monika...or at least her part in the play...LoL). As far as the play, it was awesome. Barb, you're voice is completely amazing. You did a great job. Alaine, I already knew you had a great voice, and you did an awesome job as far as acting. And Alison, you looked gorgeous in that dress. OMG, and you're voice is beautiful.
OKay, I am gonna have to go sometime soon, so I'm gonna stop writing now.
peace and much love,
me~*~*~
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 08:53 p.m.
for Christ's sake, was today tell Janet crap day? I mean, first I here the Robert told his dear ol' mum that I am drinking. Right, I can no longer cope w/ reality, and have decided to let all my problems go by drinking. HA! I am sorry, but what the hell was he smoking when he decided to tell his mum that?! And how in all heaven and hell would he know that? I mean, that bastard does not talk to me. Besides that, Pat's schooling hours (that kinda sounded smart *doh!*) have changing to 1-8. I am not pleased about that, not at all. But I'll deal.
Shit, the play starts like in 2 days, and well, i might have to work tomorrow night...and i have no idea how in all heaven and hell I am gonna make it thru this week. And I am sooooo screwed for Monday b/c I got this project due, which I havent started, but if I can get a red, heart shaped candle, I'm good to go. Which reminds me, it was great today, w/ swish. she was like "I don't want to say God exposed himself". I thought it was humorous; it sure as hell rocked my socks. But anywayz...
Hey, I get my temps packet on Thursday...and am taking the test on Friday the 29th. It will be a good day. LoL
thats all for me (for now)
peace, and much love,
me~*~*~
Monday, November 11, 2002 04:50 p.m.
Changed the song...it's now playing "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam...and will prolly change in about 2 weeks (most likely to "Somewhere Out There" by Our Lady of Peace)
Monday, November 11, 2002 04:34 p.m.
OKay, I got a lot on my mind...don't really feel like going into detail on that. Just wanted to mention that on Saturday was 2 months for me and Pat. Oh and, well, had to work (5-10) but ended up going home by 7...b/c it was so damn slow. And no was able to go out...it really sucked azz. Then last night, was interesting to say the least. I am not going to go into detail, but Pat, I want you to know that you mean the world to me, and I love you. So with that said...
School sucked. What else is new? This is going to be the week from hell tho. I have a project due Monday, and the play is this week. I'm not gonna be at Vargo's unless I can get someone (either danny or wayne) to switch w/ me on Wednesday. And I kinda hope one of them does b/c I only have like 7 hours on my paycheck. **BUT** with the play, I am gonna have like 2 hours to breath. The play is thursday, friday, saturday and sunday. Hopefully, I will make it, and Pat will come to at least one of the shows. *Sigh* I miss him.
I believe that is all I have to say for now, so I will leave you here.
peace and much love,
me~*~*~
Saturday, November 9, 2002 12:49 p.m.
I feel like I am just there (or here, depending on how ya intepret it). I feel like I serve no purpose to anyone. I am just there. No real reason for being. *Sigh*
Considering I didn't have to work last night, I had a rather boring (and depressing) night. Only person I talked to for more than about one minute was Ashley, and only for like 5 or 10 minutes, so does that tell you how boring it was? I was actually considering going up to Vargo's and seeing if I could my boring night anymore interesting. Didn't happen. Didn't get to see Pat. Guess I'm not surprised; I haven't seen him since sweetest day *sigh*.
Don't really know if he wants to go out w/ me nemore...or it seems that way. I'm just really not sure what is happening anymore.
I hate wilson. She tells *after* I get my books for the research paper that I can't do my topic. At least not the country I wanted to do. And that was *after* she saw my topic paragraph, which made it pretty damn clear what i was going to do. *sigh*
I outta here
Peace and much love,
me~*~*~
Friday, November 8, 2002 05:40 p.m.
Not doing today's friday five...I personally think it's very gay. So...
Last night was interesting. Dan knows why...exactly why. It was great; he said Jerry looked like an "amish carpenter". I was amused. He spent most of his time outside fixing the sink for the kitchen b/c we got a new refrigator, and the old sink was to big, so now where are going to have a smaller one. And I'm happy b/c right now I would be there, (vargo's i mean) but, I dont have to be. Yay. i might be going to Solon in a lil while, but i dunno b/c I'm home alone and dunno when my mum will be back, so yea. I just wanna see Pat.
I had an interesting day; it was actually kinda a boring. Yea, that's what I thought. Just thought about last night. LIke I said, it was interesting. I am getting kinda bored, so I am gonna go.
peace and much luv,
me~*~*~
Thursday, November 7, 2002 07:57 a.m.
O geez. Today was interesting. Last nite was interesting. And I want to say, I really hate putting other people before (not meaning to sound selfish), but its really becoming a pain in the ass. I mean, I try to make sure *everyone* is happy, and usually that means I'm not. But, moving on.
Chrissy, I understand, and apologize, and accept yours. You kinda understand where I am coming from, but my relationship w/ Pat has been real hard for me to deal with. And there are things you don't understand that I go thru, nor does ne one else, and I'm positive that it works the same way for you. And for now, I am leaving it at that.
I HATE BEING A GIRL!!! IT REALLY REALLY BLOWS!!!
Ok, got that out. I went home early today. it was weird, b/c I was laying down in the nurse's office, and I just thought it was weird. I was down there once last year, and it just seems weird compared the nurses office at my grade school. mrs. suza (how saw me like all the time) was the sweetest lady ever. And I would go down there "sick" and we would generally end up talking about random stuf. She was cool. Not saying Beaumont's school nurse is mean or nething (even tho I only saw her ONCE...she wasnt there today), i just don't have that relationship with her. OKay, that sounded really really gay. O well.
And it was funny, b/c as I was getting ready to leave blowmont, my girl Jamie (sw...not sm) was like "Omg, janet, at lunch, we were talking about how like our table loves you, but hates gabi". ok, that made me feel good. She went on to say "yea, calie was saying she hates gabi b/c of something in french, and i told them your story. And ashley (mat...or so i assumed) said she loved you". It was great...especially cuz last night my mum gave me some pics from before r.h.'s homecoming...it was kinda depressing. But o well, gabi is the one stuck with that stupid fag, so it doesnt bother me nemore.
I think those are all my thoughts for now. O yea, I am changing the song either tonight, or tomorrow, to last kiss, so yea, except something new...te he
peace and much luv,
me~*~*~
Monday, November 4, 2002 08:27 p.m.
Okay, so here is what is on my mind right now: what is my problem? I don't know. I know I have a problem of jealousy and trusting, and problems with being judged to soon. And I have a problem of living in the part. I'm just not like people who can meet a person and put all my trust in that person. and I have trouble getting over things. I mean, I have problems with dealing w/ things such as a loss; like when me and robert broke up, no matter how together I seemed, for a long time, I was a mess. And its just real hard dealing with some stuff. I hate the way I am sometimes. Okay, I hate the way I am all the time. But I will, I hope, change eventually, and grow out of these faults of mine.
today was an ok day at school. Me and barb talked at lunch, and the me and mo talked before her lunch period (when I was *supposed* to be in class taking a quiz...LoL). So I guess almost all is right with the world. HOwever I do have a remaining problem. Not gonna expand on it, but its there, and its bugging me. And barb and mo know what I am talking about.
And now, I am just hanging out, watching Mr. Deeds with my brother. it's a pretty good movie so far, but I don't know if I will be able to finish it tonight. I have 3 tests tomorrow. havent studied for any of them. Don't really need to study for geom, but do for latin and prolly world lit. o well. Dont really care that much. Well, I should prolly go.
Luv alwayz, and much peace,
me~*~*~
Monday, November 4, 2002 11:27 a.m.
Tortured and alone, I wallow in my grief.
You asked me whats wrong, so here is my answer:
No one seems to care any more; all wrapped up in their own things.
Maybe I am crazy? But no one seems to care.
Alas, I sit alone and abandoned. Feeling pain and torture.
Won't someone stop this pain? I cannot take it, and yet I continue to.
You seemed to care...but now I see thru your lies.
Why are you doing this to me?
Please tell me why...I need the answer...
Sunday, November 3, 2002 12:45 p.m.
first off, I want to say to Pat that I care so much about you, and miss you, and that you mean the world to me.
"woo-hoo, cuz you know I'm yours
woo-hoo, and I know you're mine
woo-hoo, And that's for all time"
"Buddy Holly" by Weezer
And for all my friends, whom I love with my entire heart; those who make my world that much better: (thanx Barb, for inspiring this one)
"Lean on me,
When you're not strong
and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on.
For it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on"
I love all you of yo, and each of you has touched my heart in some way or another. For Julia and Todd, I hate you guys being away in college; it's weird not being able to go out w/ you over the weekend, and I don't think you know how much you changed me life. Or how much you helped me out. So, thank you both, for everything you have done for me.
az alwayz,
me~*~*~
Thursday, October 31, 2002 04:43 p.m.
"WOuld you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I'm must be strong
and carry on,
cuz I kno i don't belong
Here in Heaven."
"Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton
I found this Eric Clapton Unplugged cd in my room last night. Now, I can tell you that I'm not a fanatic, but he has some good songs. And once I found this song on the cd, I played it over and over, and am in fact listening to it right now. It is a beautiful song for those of you have not heard it.
"You know you wouldn't want it any other way...
Just when you
You got me figured out,
The season is already changing...
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother...
You know I wouldn't want it any other way"
"Bitch" by Meredith Brooks
Very good song. I know, (for those of you who know the song) that the lyrics are scattered thru-out the song. But yea, whatever.
"Someday,
when my life has passed me by
I lay around and wonder why
you were always there for me
One way,
in the eyes of a passerby
i look around for another try
and fade away
just close your eyes and ill take you there
this place is warm w/o a care
We'll take a swim in the deep blue see
I got to reach, but you reach for me"
"Someday" by Sugar Ray
I think then, I am done w/ song lyrics for now. I just to express my self, and songs are the best way to do so.
az alwayz,
me~*~*~
Wednesday, October 30, 2002 04:53 p.m.
I have been seriously contemplating (whoa big word, and I'm not at school) the whole marry todd if pat is abducted by ALIENS FROM FLEMMING'S ASS!! (see below in the today's other entry if you are confused). Its just a funny thought. I can't even remember how that came up, but I had to write about here b/c it was just that good. So yes, I will have to marry Todd in the rare event that Pat is abducted by aliens from flemming's ass. So i guess that means if pat were abducted by aliens, say from a planet or something (more or less, anywhere that isn't flemming's ass), I would prolly have to marry someone that isn't todd. But let's hope it doesn't boil down to that...b/c I would really miss pat if he was abducted. but enuf about aliens and pat getting abducted and flemming's ass (b/c I am really sick of typing out his last name).
Newayz, I got this really cool book from Mo, and I can't wait to read it, and Elise, (sp?) one of my 2 freshman friends, is lending me some other books. So, its all good. And I think I am gonna go to Spencer's like in 2 weeks (when I get payed again...i spent on clothes yesterday, but I got alot of stuf, so its all good) and buy this slick ass pentacle, and I need some new balls (xcuze me, necklaces Mo). And spencers has slick ass colored ones. Newayz, I think I have written enuf for now, I got stuf to do, so yea, im outta here.
az alwayz,
me~*~*~
Wednesday, October 30, 2002 11:09 a.m.
OKay, here are like 2 or 3 things I really gotta write about before anything else:
~Me and Monia "frolicking" (by the way, thanx babe for the book)
~marrying Todd (f.) in the event that Pat is abducted by aliens that come outta Flemming's ass (isnt that a pleasant thought? I hope it doesn't come to that)
~Ms. Swish and her substitute words for "bullshit" (balderdash) and "bitch" (gritch)...that is the coolest class!(it sure as hell rocks my socks)
OK, got that outta my system. Anywho, I meant to change the song like, um, yesterday, and well didn't get the chance too. SO, I will entertain y'all today w/ a new song (and for those idiots who have no idea what song this is, it's "bodies" by drowning pool). And I the next song will be "Last Kiss" by pearl jam. And I know Sean knows why I am gonna play that, so, um, yea. I guess things are well w/ Pat. I feel bad; he has a sinus infection. I hope ya get better, hun.
I was thinking about some stuff lately. I hate how like the nicest people sometimes have to suffer the most, and that just isn't fair. I hate the way our world is. I don't really know how to explain, and I have a headache, so I think I am just gonna end it here.
az alwayz,
me~*~*~
Sean--I'm listening to "last kiss". I miss those nights over the summer, and have thought about them lately. As much as I miss you, like I said, I have moved on. But u're still an awesome friend, so stay cool for me.
Tuesday, October 29, 2002 06:03 p.m.
You Are A Juicy Kisser!
Your lips are totally kissable baby, and you know how to use them.
You are the perfect kisser - with the right combo of lips and tongue.
It's important to flaunt it, so kiss early and often on dates!
How Do *You* Kiss?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
me~*~*~
Monday, October 28, 2002 12:03 p.m.
Archived. Fun stuff, I'm sure. Tomorrow I am gonna change the song.
This is something funny my mum got in her email, printed out, and she gave it to; I hope it brightens yours day...it rocked my socks at least :)
Subject: I wanna be a Bear
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
If you're a bear, you brith your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping, and wake up to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definiately deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wakre up growling. He EXPECTS you that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup...I wanna be a bear.
I thought that was great. But anywho...I am really glad I have today off. I have been stuffing myself stupid w/ food (haha). But really, i've been doing nothing but eating. O well. too bad I'm not a bear. I'm gonna shut my mouth and go now.
az alwayz,
me~*~*~
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