Black and White and Red All Over

Monday, July 15, 2002 - 05:02 p.m. -
Ack. I just found out that most (possibly all) of my Amazon income has been cut. Since my Amazon income is ~95% of my total, I'm hosed. I'm looking for a real job with even more vigor than before, and now also for a cheaper place to live. I don't want to have to leave The Best Apartment Ever, but I could easily find a place for 0-0/month less, and I suppose I should. Maybe it's time to live with housemates again. Any leads on jobs or housing will be repaid with karma.

Friday, July 12, 2002 - 11:40 a.m. -
Weird, horrifying story: Woman converts to Islam, loses custody of her kid. The story is more complex than that, and given the source (Washington Times) there's probably a hell of a lot more going on than they report, but still, the quotes from everyone involved are jaw-dropping.

Friday, July 12, 2002 - 11:16 a.m. -
What did it take for a toy to get recalled because of protests back in the early 1970's?

Wednesday, July 10, 2002 - 12:32 a.m. -
This is fantastic. Several kids were arrested for underage smoking. Kind of overkill, yeah? But get this: They were tried as adults. Absolutely brilliant. I applaud the legislators and criminal justice system of the great state of Missouri.

Monday, July 8, 2002 - 12:22 p.m. -
Science For Monks! This is so awesome.

Friday, July 5, 2002 - 11:34 p.m. -
I went to the doctor Monday. (Which doctor?) He thinks my little fainting spell from a few weeks back is because of gastric bleeding caused by anti-inflammatory drugs. Some problems with this hypothesis: I hardly ever take them, I have never spit up blood, the ER tests showed no internal bleeding, and (time for most of you to skip to the next paragraph) there hasn't been any blood in my stool.

So whatever, he has a crusade against anti-inflammatories, good for him. As I said, I hardly ever take them, but I'll risk liver damage and occasional fainting if it means a swift end to my migraines. I just had one last night, and four acetaminophen did the trick. At that rate, I'm taking about 20 tabs/year - if that kills me, well, I'm weak. I think I'll keep drinking water, just in case I really was dehydrated.

More interesting (and more believable) is that my triglyceride levels are through the roof, while my cholesterol is fine. This means I likely have (dramatic pause) Syndrome X! I get to be a super-villain and I'm looking for henchmen.

I have no idea how Syndrome X got its name, and I don't care. Unfortunately, it's not an ultra-rare genetic condition that permits me to burn things with my mind. It's a predisposition to insulin resistance - so boring it needs a cool name to compensate, I guess. I'm supposed to cut out carbs (sugar and starch, but not fiber) as much as possible, with promises of weight loss, lower tridlyceride and cholesterol levels, and general well-being if I stick to it. So far so good, and I do seem to feel a lot better w/o starch. Who knew? Oh, and now I won't get diabetes - sign me up.

So how's your body doing?

Saturday, June 29, 2002 - 01:12 p.m. -
Seems like a scam, but the Boing Boing bois checked it out and it's on the level. Go here, click the pink button, help fund a mammogram for an underprivileged woman. Endure a few ads and one pop-up. Go on.

Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 11:04 a.m. -
Are you down with OCD? Yeah [wheeze], you know [scratch] me!

Monday, June 24, 2002 - 03:18 p.m. -
The horror...the horror...

Sunday, June 23, 2002 - 10:51 p.m. -
It's been a while since I made an entry, and a much longer while since I wrote anything more than "Check out this funny and/or scary link." I went to the ER last week and I suppose that's worth mentioning. Here's how you can do it:

1. Don't drink enough water.
2. Maintain a high level of physical activity in the summer heat.
3. Absorb enough caffeine and alcohol over several weeks to tip the balance between health and morbidity.
4. Visit friends and family, then pass out in front of them.

It's simple! After taking a few bites of pizza (oh, I should have mentioned not eating enough too), I started to feel super-nauseous. I may or may not have said something - I sure was thinking 'Hey, I don't feel well' - and then I nodded out. Nothing dramatic like falling out of my chair, but folks figured out something was wrong when my face turned grey and I became unresponsive (moreso than ususal). Like a Special Forces team, they lowered me to the floor, called 911, and rearranged the furniture in anticipation of the ambulance crew - had they practiced for this?

I came to quickly and announced that Therese and Jen had an unused electrical socket in the ceiling between their kitchen and dining room. I wasn't quite hallucinating (just myopic), but my priorities were clearly muddled. I was lucid for the EMT interviews, but my blood pressure dropped precipitously when I sat up so they took me to Swedish hospital, where I had two liters of saline pumped in through my right hand. The nurses enjoyed my tattoo.

So at one point early on they wanted to check my BP standing up, which I thought was a bad idea. I may have said so, or Jill did, or Tom did, or maybe nobody did. Anyway, they stood me up in the ER, and I was holding on to this nurse who probably weighed half of what I do [Jill tells me she was actually hefty] and wondered if I'd fall on her or throw up on her - both at the same time seemed unlikely. The BP was somewhere around 64/42. That's as off-the-chart as a 105 fever, only maybe not quite as scary. I didn't throw up (that came later, and you don't need details) and Jill, Tom, Dex, Jen, and Therese helped me wait for rehydration and test results. My dumb thanks are insufficient to repay their care. No diabetes (!), no internal bleeding (!!), just plain old stupid dehydration, and I was out in less than two hours.

Can't wait for the bill.

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