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Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 01:32 p.m. -
Tuesday, November 27, 2001 - 07:23 p.m. -
Tuesday, November 27, 2001 - 11:31 a.m. -
Monday, November 26, 2001 - 10:54 a.m. -
Friday, November 23, 2001 - 11:29 p.m. -
Friday, November 23, 2001 - 12:01 p.m. -
Friday, November 23, 2001 - 11:59 a.m. -
Friday, November 23, 2001 - 11:56 a.m. - The gun is important, the bullet is not. Have you ever (in a reverie) held a gun? Neither automatic nor revolver - just a a gun - or THE gun - gentle in your mouth or firm against your temple? Have you held it like your first lover all night long and sleepless? Wondered at the analgesic interlude, each final moment sweeter than the last? Have you taken your demons hostage and asked only for a few hours alone? Remember, remembering, the gun is important, the bullet is not. POV 2: Stupid dreams so naked and useless. Sis wearing perfect lipstick, Mom in perfect pleats. Both of them lumbering Grandma downstairs in her wheelchair, waving her scissors at me and grinning behind her death mask. Mere castration would be a relief, but I know they're seeking the end of a different line, a story, mine. I put on the calm face and watch them take forever. POV 3: Panic strikes the earth and I'm running like the oldest antelope. The light overtakes me and is quickly gone, but the roar persists even as I speed through grass and bush. A sudden gust lifts me up, miles high and moving still faster, I can't keep my balance and I'm tossed recklessly forward. Smacking impossible tree branches and trying not to see my broad, flat death waiting below, I feel unreleasable pressure build behind my eyes and I'm gone. POV 4: He closes his eyes. Muscles clench, then relax. His body dissolves into restraints. A puddle of existence quickly cools, congeals, drawing his awareness back from the machine. Both knees injured, one wrist; he can't afford much more treatment. Order rest and observation for another day. He'll join the Buddha if it kills him.
Friday, November 23, 2001 - 11:55 a.m. -
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