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A Gain?
Feel free to Discuss
Monday, December 9, 2002 01:30 p.m.
It seems that when I need friends the most they are never there to help me. I wonder if it's my fault. Do I somehow close myself off from the guidance and comfort of others. Am I the self serving martyr?
Though, in my greatest despair I find the greatest insight.
Thursday, November 14, 2002 03:54 p.m.
Is there such a thing as too much political satire? I think so... and it hurts your head too.
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 01:51 p.m.
I love Southern Oregon and mostly I love Ashland. This town will forever hold fond memories for me. And I've just begun.
This will be my Beat Culture time of life. I am gathering around me individuals I love so intensely it's hard not to let them know. I am On the Road and I don't care that I don't know where I'm going.
Saturday, October 12, 2002 03:44 p.m.
Believer in all that I discover.
Thursday, September 19, 2002 05:17 p.m.
To school to school. I'm Lear in flowers. To school to school!
Monday, September 9, 2002 01:33 a.m.
Pardon my second person.
Monday, September 9, 2002 01:32 a.m.
Beyond all else, you are alive.
Sunday, September 8, 2002 04:03 p.m.
everything in excess will kill you,
nothing in moderation will.
Sunday, September 8, 2002 02:09 p.m.
Please continue to cause a world of trouble for me.
When I am grilled on my beliefs, I can't defend them. I have hunches, I piece things together, I feel what I do is right or wrong. I don't have a definate line. Like my vision it's blurry and distorted.
Sunday, September 8, 2002 10:28 a.m.
Beatific
Sunday, September 8, 2002 01:28 a.m.
I don't know what it is, but it's something good.
Saturday, September 7, 2002 04:55 p.m.
I'm tired of movies.
I'm tired of video games.
I'm tired of consuming.
exploration, adventure, discovery
Saturday, September 7, 2002 04:52 p.m.
Live for yourself, there must be others out there like you.
in the mean time learn from everything.
Saturday, September 7, 2002 04:51 p.m.
I love you I love you I love you I loooove you.
I don't trust you i don't trust you I don't truuuust you.
doesn't have the same ring...
Friday, September 6, 2002 10:39 a.m.
All the original thoughts/writings have been deeply personal and confusing, this is a wonderful quote by a wonderful author:
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a
necessary ingredient in living, its a way of looking at life
through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do,
and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
-Dr. Seuss
Thursday, September 5, 2002 11:01 a.m.
"Sometimes nuthin' can be a pretty cool hand."
-Cool Hand Luke
Tuesday, September 3, 2002 09:07 p.m.
why is it i learn so much from that which is considered wrong by many?
Saturday, August 31, 2002 08:31 p.m.
Away to London
Away to Walla Walla
Away to Massachusetts
Away to Boston
Away to Germany
Away to Japan
Away at Ashland
Away at Eugene
Away away away.
Saturday, August 31, 2002 02:46 a.m.
Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth.
Friday, August 30, 2002 02:12 a.m.
"Is that a fashion statement?"
"No."
I hate coming off more morose and melancholy then I actually am. I discover why I do things after I'm confronted about them. Then when I'm excited to spout out my bumper sticker philisophy, I lack the confrontation or stimulation needed to spout.
You can relate everything to sex, really.
Friday, August 23, 2002 01:28 p.m.
I love realizing that i'm a better person than i was.
Thursday, August 8, 2002 04:44 p.m.
Boom Chacka Boom Chacka Boom Chacka Boom Chacka
Weeeeeeeeeee333333333333EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeah!
Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum
Dweedle leeda dweedweDweedle leeda dweedwe
Support your local PRE HTML tag!
I hate being up way high on a crooked latter.
Tuesday, August 6, 2002 04:43 p.m.
I date a girl and remind her of her father. Seems to happen more than once. Dating can be creepy.
Monday, August 5, 2002 08:31 p.m.
Bow before your god
Free Cell Statistics:
Total:
won: 113
lost: 7
Streaks:
wins: 80
losses: 2
current: 80
Saturday, August 3, 2002 11:18 a.m.
Fish and Chips and Fish and Chips and Fish and Chips and Fish and Chips!
Beach-trip!
Guilt trip though, big guilt trip, why? because my family didn't give the word to me that they were spraying the house today. so i made plans it being saturday and all. while not guilty i feel guilt.
Not that I'm at all innocent
Friday, August 2, 2002 05:46 p.m.
My life could be described by songs...
I still feel like a teenager.
Monday, July 29, 2002 10:40 p.m.
As human beings with imperfect means of communication we should invest in telepathy.
Saturday, July 27, 2002 09:33 p.m.
?ehs si erehw
I hate the thin line between friendship and intimacy. I hate the thin line between sinner and saint. I hate the small bit of anatomy that seperates male and female. I hate laws.
In math of the four basic operations, I was worst at division,
but strangely I enjoy drawing inside the lines. I try to add shading, even reinforce the lines with darker crayola-ing.
The problem with parallels is that in life there aren't two lines existing in a two dimensional realm. The world in three dimension.
1
2
D
3
Saturday, July 27, 2002 09:30 p.m.
In the race of siblings I'm taking a commanding lead. Too bad I'm running the wrong way.
Saturday, July 27, 2002 09:27 p.m.
With new found love:
We said our goodbyes
Ahhhh the night before
Love was in your eyes
Ahhhh the night before
Now today I find
You will change your mind
Treat me like you did the night before.
Friday, July 26, 2002 03:34 p.m.
Why?
Inbox: 1
Junk Mail: 90
/me upset
Thursday, July 25, 2002 04:12 p.m.
Father of mine,
I lie to you because I don't trust you.
Sunday, July 21, 2002 12:09 a.m.
Annnd,
Happy Dance!
Poing!
Saturday, July 20, 2002 11:58 p.m.
Off to go camping, Camping I will go.
Off to go camping, bringin' my guitar.
Camping I'm off to, I better not be slow
CAmping I'm off to, drivin' in a car
But we're hiking, Max, Dan, and Hanna
But we're hiking, going to Waldo Lake
Hiking we will be, Fun I know we're gonna
Hiking we will be, Shut my pie hole for god's sake.
From a real poet:
Lyrics from Raven,
"What you got what you got in your hand
A father said to son
Got the whole world here Daddy
between my finger and my thumb
you take care of it please- it's the only one
Well it would take a life time old man
To undo what you've done
Oh come on now boy think- What Would Jesus Do?
He'd shake his head like an angry mother
smoke the boy and say I did what I could do"
Dave Matthews
Hint: Think Father as in Priest.
Oh, I reccomend the new album Busted Stuff by Dave Matthews Band.
Saturday, July 20, 2002 11:27 p.m.
Rant
Orgasm: Explosion of good feeling.
Problems: Religious fear of sex and all things sexual. Prove of this fear in my life is how I never recieved the birds/bees chat, my parents have never brought up sex except in front of a large church youth audience. Avoidance from fear of _SEX_ ::gasp::
Freudian/psychological thought: Freud, among many other things, believed in different stages of development. Each stage is centered around a body part. Oral, Anal, Phallic or joys of masturbation/ discovery of "down-there", Latency repression of sexual desires, and finally the Genital Stage or puberty. Dunt dunt dah! Sexual Reawakening! without going into a massive freudian disscusion I'll get to the point. (For massive freudian disscussion, i only know a little actually, AIM is Walter032, ICQ I don't use anymore, and MSN sucks my Phallic Stage) Here it is: Child masturbates, mother/father/siblings scolds child. Child thinks "touching down there feels yummy, family is mad at me for doing it, i feel bad because my family takes care of me, feeling yummy must be bad because they know best." Child is scared of sex. Thus we achieve sexual repression.
Not that I think we should be horny free loving 'E' dosing hippy raver sex maniacs, though I do.
My point, if point I have one, is that discovering sex and accepting it is a wonderful thing. Within the realm of nature sex is for reproduction, luckily as the resourceful humans we are we discovered things like the G-spot, masturbation, oral sex, and last but not least Pr0n... ::cough cough:: Sooooooo, we have discovered that we can thwart the evil ways of nature and entertain ourselves with orgasms, which I feel is about 50 times to sideways 8 times better than TV and 5 times to sideways 8 times better than video games.
But religion doesn't move with the times, except for the sin of sloth. Thrashing the world resources for Mcdonald's Big Macs is A-O-K but orgasms are horrendous, see definition of orgasm or try real ones on for size:
Orgasm: 1. A complex series of responses of the genital organs and skin at the culmination of a sexual act 2.) immoderate excitement.
Mmmm Immoderate.
I honestly believe whoever god(s) is, because I do believe in (th)(s)he(m), he wouldn't want us to be immaculate.
Moral of the story, giving your friend a blow job isn't the worst thing in the world... And perhaps it ranks among the better...
If only things worked that way
/Rant
Friday, July 19, 2002 12:19 p.m.
and silence is restored.
Thursday, July 18, 2002 03:03 p.m.
And High Ceilings. GOD DAMNIT!
Thursday, July 18, 2002 03:01 p.m.
Damn alarms. Damn it damn.
Stupid alarms. Stupid fires that don't exist, stupid.
Shitty high pitched bitchy squeal
Damn.
Thursday, July 18, 2002 05:39 a.m.
(overly high pitched) WHEEE! WHEEE!
WHEE! WHEEE!
WHEEE! WHEEE!
(in the house, slightly distant but echoey) Wheee-e! Wheee-e!
Wheee-e! Wheee-e!
(coming from everywhere) WHWEEE WHEHWEHW EHWHEWHWWEWEEW HWEEEE HWWWEHEEE!!!!!!
So all and all it was a longe night. Now having recieved around 30-45 minutes of sleep I look forwards towards today. I don't see much potential for the day, but getting no sleep because of fear of fire alarms isn't a usual occurance.
Cuddling would be nice about now.
Wednesday, July 17, 2002 10:57 a.m.
This just in:
"Hippie rocker Dave Matthews pounds fan in the head."
Monday, July 15, 2002 03:08 p.m.
Does anyone remember Samurai Pizza Cats?
Speedy Cerviche (Service pronounced Sir Vee Che), Polly Ester, and Guido Anchovis with villians Big Cheese and Bad Bird.
With self proclaimed Fan Club Oath:
The Pizza Cats are Samurai, and I'd like to note:
Their antics take your breath away,
Like furballs in your throat!
We kittens are a special breed;
We never call retreat!
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down, We land upon {kiss} our feet!
So hail to thee, O Pizza Cat!
Please ring your little bell!
Although you may be pen and ink,
we know you'll fight like Pizza Cats!
God I loved that show.
Thursday, July 11, 2002 11:54 p.m.
"I can only help you if you talk."
I just want to cry.
Monday, July 8, 2002 04:21 p.m.
A rollar coaster depends on the initial climb and can only go so far and have as many thrills as that initial climb allows, or until another climb. So when that little car locks into place you only have to worry about the height and the effectiveness of the rollar coaster.
(H)E = T
where H is height and E is effectiveness and T is thrills.
Suppose for a moment that the rollercoaster existed outside of mass and substance. Perhaps in space or had a 4th dimension or whatever. All previous rules on height and gravity and whatnot do not apply. So T does not exist within the realms of whatever it did before. It could be obscenely large, or perhaps not even exist in the realm of integers.
My hypothesis is that this is a brief outline of an emotional rollercoaster.
Saturday, July 6, 2002 03:27 p.m.
Login: Walter 032
Password: *********
Buddies: 0/72
Me: 1/1
Walter 032
Family: 0/2
Technology doesn't change much.
Thursday, July 4, 2002 02:01 p.m.
Holidays.
It seems too often holidays are 'celebrated' with no real thought to what they mean. Also holidays are nearly always celebrations. I vote for days of remembrance. When Colombus Day took the axe we should have made it a day of remembrance.
Today I celebrate friendship, I celebrate life, I celebrate the ideals of our country which the USA apparently facades, I celebrate my angst against laws I hate.
I am coming to an end of things, and the beginning of others. Every end becomes a beginning every beginning becomes an end.
That's fucking ying-yang for you, baby!
Wednesday, July 3, 2002 12:59 p.m.
Everybody party time, some of us will never sleep again.
Or perhaps a small get together.
Interested?
no? i thought not.
Wednesday, July 3, 2002 12:58 p.m.
Budda Budda Gudda Gudda
Budda Gudda Budda Gudda
Gudda Budda Gudda Budda
Saturday, June 29, 2002 02:20 a.m.
Letters from friends:
Will-
Is everything alright with Kim? If youwant to talk things over about it, call me. I will be around tomorrow until evening. *hugs*
(heart)
Well William,
I am beginning to think that you are avoiding me. Last night I just assumed you were so quiet as to not draw attention to yourself, so Steven would not see you, but now the lies! Sigh. And I will have you knowthat that was indeed a sigh of disdane. But I shall forgive you. Perhaps.
In the meantime, enjoy the coffee, and did you know, they make pickle icecream for pregnant women?
Sooooo,
We though that you might appreciate this little token since you enjoy coffee enough to lie to us and tell us that you were sick just so that you can go and spend time at the Coffee House and then head off so you can get some action with Kim. Well... let us say, dear friend, that we are definately not pleased with your currect choices. One would think he knows his friends enough to realize that they would not have been offended if he had told them he was to spend time with his significant other. FOR SHAME!
... BUT WE STILL LOVE YOU. :)
I never do anything perfectly. That's being extremely generous to myself.
Friday, June 28, 2002 08:00 p.m.
A smirk is in no way a smile.
Thursday, June 27, 2002 05:49 p.m.
"Excuse me please,
one more drink
could you make it strong
'cause i don't need to think
she broke my heart, now my grace is gone.
one more drink and I'll move on."
Thursday, June 27, 2002 11:53 a.m.
Friends who I loved so intensely now are gone.
Dancing is no longer fun, except by myself.
If I'm alone in this adventure. If old emotions aren't recalled by others. If closeness is gone forever. If.
Then. Then I submit to alteration. Then I will scream. Then I will change. Then I will stop being the enclosed overdramatic pansy.
But. I will hurt.
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