Why are people such hypocrites? Why are we so full of self righteousness...so full of pride? Why do we always hurt each other? Always blind to everything?

A little fight exploded into an all out shouting match. I didn't do anything, but Quang...he lied to my mom and said that he went to work when he didn't. Then he got all defensive and started cussing. Of course, this got me mad and I had to say stuff like don't talk to mom like that and don't be disrespectful. He got up and said "...fucking family." My mom heard that and slapped him several times. I could see Quang had tears in his eyes. Don't ever strike out of anger. But Quang, he's always so angry. And my parents...all they can see is how "bad" he is. She called him devil and told him he was going to hell because of how disrespectful and bad he is...Quang just wants our parents to "leave him alone". All they want to know is where he is at times. He wants their trust and he lies out right like this? It wasn't anything big, but the fact was he lied. He was wrong. But my parents are wrong for saying those things to him...like "don't speak to me that way or I'll slap you so hard your teeth are going to fall out"...or "I'm going to break your neck". How does this help??? They say to him sometimes that they know he's a good boy, it's just...he needs to change this. He needs to stop doing this and that. And then when they're angry, they yell at him and call him "devil". Does this teach him anything? Are these words going to give him any helpful revelations??? It makes me so angry and hurt because I can see that it hurts him. He doesn't show his emotions that much, but I can see it. And he just gets angrier. Quang's thinking is so different from ours. So touchy and full of anger...he's not logical either. I told my parents to stop calling him that. Don't say those words. How do you think it makes him feel??? And I got yelled at, too. I told him that I know he's a good person---that he's not one of those stupid gang bangers and he said, "Why does it sound like you're lying?" I know he's a good person. Of course, I complain about his bad habits, but he's a good person! Why doesn't he believe that? ...The older I get, the more I see hypocrisy---in myself, in others, in this world. It's really a disappointment. Even sadder, that any of our words and actions are lies. The self that we present to the world is a mask, something we hide behind in an effort to be thought of as a "good person". But nobody can know who we really are---maybe not even ourselves...too many secrets. So we're all hypocrites. We give others the "better" image, an incomplete and sad ideal image, one that we keep failing...and the hypocrisy continues. In fact, I'm a hypocrite for just calling another person a hpyocrite, demmit. I'm tired. I'm tired of being a stupid human with error ridden judgement and silly human emotions that always go up and down and a supposed intelligence that in the end, really doesn't do any good after all. Sick of anger that gets in the way and causes so much hurt. Of all the killing. All the hate. Yeah, yeah. Sure there's good. I see it. But it always seems like there's much more that's rotten. The bad stuff always sucks out all the good in life...overshadows everything. *stop the drama* Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm a happy person most of the time. Really. I like being happy. But sometimes I think I get carried away with acting happy. It just comes out that way. Just another part of my mask. So every once in awhile, I get deep (sorta). And I get depressed. Even a little philosophical.

Woo. Sorry about all my convoluted thoughts...Well, I feel better I think. Now I'm just in a pessimistic mood. *sighs* This is why I really don't think I should have children. I love kids, but raising them is way too complicated. No matter what I do or say, they are going to end up hating me. Even if I teach them "well" (if there is even such a possibility), they're going to raise hell anyway and drive me insane. And they're going to think I'm a dork. Think I'm holding them back. Over protective. Judgemental. Evil. THAT I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM. And I'll call them hellspawn...yell and scream about how I spent 18+ hours giving birth to them, carried them for 9 months, got fat having x number of kids, stayed up all night whenever they were sick, gave up everything for them, drove for half an hour every day and worked hard at school (ha!) to give them a better life...nag them about school and other miscellaneous issues, complain about dirty rooms, constantly ask them what they want to do with their lives...UGH. I think I hear that convent calling me. -_- (See? Back to the jokes, the sarcasm, the happy-go-lucky mask...but maybe I really am that way. O.o Don't know. Don't really know myself that well anyway. Who really has time to analyze themselves. -_-* )