Welcome to the Revolution....::ARISFAEL::

January 15, 2008 Tuesday

Music: The Smiths
Koisuru for the day:

Welly, welly, well~!

I wasn’t feeling quite well in the drawing contest thingy and the result was a much messier and less composed drawing than expected. I was tired and basically bored. I had my music meds to keep me going while I was working and worrying about my latest nail polish. HAHA. BOO~!

HWEE~! I love the boys so much! Wonderful movie and I think that the play was wonderful as well and possibly even better than the movie! The dialogue was less condensed than the movie and there were cut-off parts. And haha Jamie Parker wearing his glasses are absolute LOVE! God I love this movie! And Posner~! HAHA. Thank you Alan Barnett for this wonderful creation~

I’m just so tired right now and menstrual cramps just suck. I’ll probably be stuck with more DVDs for tonight…

The first feature of esteemed directors James Corden and Dominic Cooper~! More from the boys! I so love Samuel Barnett! I love the way he acts and really, Stephen Campbell Moore is just hot even when looking like that! Brilliant ensemble basically and LOL to Jamie Parker jumping from the background. I wish I’d see more of these boys in the future~!

the brilliant history boys :)

January 14, 2008 Monday

Music:
Koisuru for the day:

Busy, busy at school. For tomorrow’s agenda, I’m going to take part in this drawing contest thingy for the English week at our school and it’s been likes years since I last joined one of these things. I don’t know… CEU didn’t have these kinds of contests or whatever and HS was pretty much group competitions, which was absolutely fine. And ever since then I’d like to think I was competing with my self. It just keeps me from completely slacking off and to keep up with myself in terms of artistic development or whatever you call it. Lately the sad part is I haven’t been writing or drawing. I have commission works yes but they’re put on hold because of my utter laziness. I’m at fault. And even at this moment, I’m not doing anything about it.

I suck when it comes to these things.

And yes, since I’m going to miss Sociology due to this contest I won’t be able to report. HAHA. YEAH! I’m saved from the burden of reporting and much thanks to the opportunity because I detest staying in front of the class and speaking. Srsly, I can’t stand it. It’s probably why I talk so fast when I report or something.

Nothing much happened earlier in the day. It sucks that the questions I’m more inclined to answer at our English class were given to other classmates. There was one question that was given and our professor was asking this classmate what she would prefer: live concerts or wait for the DVD version. And what band would she like to see, why and etc. I would proudly declare MUSE or Placebo and gods, it would be such a thrill and a honor to see them live! It’s really a big deal for me to actually see them LIVE because it feels like you’re actually taking part in their purpose or whatever purpose they have for making such beautiful music. And it’s like you have the experience first-hand because you were there! And whatever the future holds for me in this ardent wish that I have, I’m going to be prepared. 100 php per day would be enough for front row tickets on a concert of an artist that comes to the Philippines (well technically not good enough but it’s a start!. It’s a damn shame I couldn’t get to watch Vertical Horizon perform. I found about it too late… Gods, I could just wish!

This reminds me of the sad fate Alex DeLarge experienced with the Ludivico Technique. Poor Alex was fond of music most especially Beethoven’s and watching concentration camps along with the Ninth Symphony as a score wasn’t a good one. In any way or form or whatever, I hope that doesn’t happen to me.

And why can’t I fucking download from multiply anymore?! Explain this fucking thing that’s going on?! I’m note resourceful when it comes to download sites so screw that this happened. I was even planning to download soundtracks from the History Boys! ARRRGH

Fuck this V.N. Why is the world coming to this? I’m sure you definitely have a lot to say on whatever is going on. And please could you let a miracle happen by magically sending to me copies of every book you published? I’ll be most thrilled. And euro. Love, your avid reader R.

[edit] HAHA. I’m triumphant V.N! All is not lost because I can still download from that place. Tomorrow’s such a happy new day again and I’ll face it with comforting music from The Smiths and Echo and the Bunnymen. They’re happy trippy 80’s songs and I guess I could go way further than the 80’s. We’ll see~! I really wish I could be a successful cross-dresser someday and wear those black polo shirts, pants and white suspenders that Matt wore when I last saw him. Ohyeah. Russian boys are extremely androgynous by the way V.N. In your youth you were cute but strictly a ‘young boy’! HAHA. I wonder if you ever did model young Van Veen in your youth and if those encounters with young Veen and Ada were as passionate as yours with your first child love???

I’m thinking aloud once again. Off to homeworks and studying…

January 9, 2008 Tuesday

Music:
Koisuru for the day: milord stfn

Manic Wednesday! I don’t even clean my room so cleaning the streets somewhere in Taguig is like somehow a big deal to me. Honestly, I don’t particularly care if the place is dirty or not and if it is dirty I’ll stay away from it. I’m more concerned on the current state of my room, which clearly mirrors the slob that I am. Sleeping on the half side of my bed with the other half filled with newly bought books and clothes is something I definitely have to change for this week. Definitely.

Anyhoo, I went back to the Fully Booked place at Serendra (the place I hang out lately after school) and found much to my annoyance that I can’t find any books of Nabokov on the shelves. Is this serious or I’m just absolutely blind and missed it? I’m supposed to check out if there was any new copies released under his name but unfortunately, V.N was not to be found. Even Good Omens! Screw it. No matter; I bought F. Sionil Jose’s novel “Po-On” for our Philippine literature class and currently I’m reading it… along with Collected Stories by V.N and Possession by A.S Byatt.

Two major reporting tomorrow: Urbana and Felisa for Literature class and Gender and Ethnicity for Sociology… I’m screwed. I don’t particularly like reporting. Nevertheless must push through with it for the damn grade.

Additional: I absolutely hate the fact that the cheeseburger sandwich at McDonald’s became 37 pesos, I can’t buy that amazing top I just saw (for now). Only 300 php! WINNER~! And I haven’t the time to watch A Clockwork Orange (FINALLY GOT MY OWN COPY FROM THE MAGICAL TIANGE! MWAHA! IT PWNS!)

She Revolutionized @ 7:03 p.m

January 8, 2008 Tuesday

Music:
Koisuru for the day: milord stfn that i miss so much

In my waking, I was instantaneously greeting by your face aghast. It was no wonder for me seeing you in such a state, devoid of your usual gentleman elegance and it didn’t do any good when you touched me on the hand to feel if I was really there. It was more of a wonder to me why am I lying across you, in my pyjamas in this morning light.

You screamed. This was shortly followed by footsteps outside your door, picking up pace and grew nearer. Both of us, thin for our age and yet you manage to lift me up like a doll and yes, threw me in your closet. I’ve never heard you speak in such controlled state. If I was someone who spites you, blackmail would be good. On the contrary, I’m the opposite of such. It was new to my knowledge that you had a middle aged house helper judging from her voice and surely, she would not let it pass that you fumbled for your words to explain the noise. In the dark I head the door creak and soon you let me out.

You had to leave for me and couldn’t take me as my uniform was not with me. And if I could just describe how everything was more than what I wanted and this has ceased the torture of unrequited emotions I have kept under my school notes within the campus range. You smiled and it was everything all at once as if things have illuminated that expression of yours for me.

I would be good, as I promised leaving me to your room surrounded by books. I recognized some of those you have let me borrowed over the course of the school year. I saw your pre-offered hand, as a bid of a momentary parting (as how I would put it with so much drama) and a deal that once again you have placed your trust on me. I missed holding your hand. I took it and gave a firm handshake, beaming at you. And the sudden weight of your other hand atop my head became something too strong and overwhelming for me to bear. You could’ve killed me with your bony fingers moving down to flinch strands of my hair.

The smell of chalk dust and old books wafted into the air I breathed. I pressed my eyes closed. It was a mistake because at an instant, it was replaced by melancholy and then just nothing.

+++

This was a dream Morpheus (just a dream and nothing of this sort actually happened, for the MOST part~ HAHA) gave me almost two years ago. It was hilarious when you look at it but yeah, basically it felt much heavier than that. I just missed “Herr Stefen” since I happened to look at Stephen King on my bookshelf.

I wonder if his old glasses broke finally after YEARS of keeping it since his college years. He probably has new ones.

Fuck melancholy and screwy ‘devotion’. PFFT~!

January 8, 2008 Tuesday

Music: Cheating on You -Franz Ferdinand
Koisuru for the day: this person

Embarrassing quiz score in Logic! EXTREMELY EMBARASSING SCORE! I understood the lesson, yes but the questions were THAT confusing! Screw it. And thinking about the midterms it really makes me wonder how the hell am I going to study for it. I’d probably cram and just do some scanning, like I always do. Gods, I’m such a procrastinator. A lazzzzzy bum. Am I really supposed to learn this? Everything of this in Logic with so much structure and formalities and accepted empirical what-knots just to be err… LOGICAL? As a NURSE?

I’d rather read.

Today was good. A day I don’t particularly like nor hate; it was just something bleak like the sky when I look at it lately. I’m not sure if it’s the pollution or the clouds are rather extra dark and fluffy lately. And given the chance I would stroll around the whole Fort area because of the weather. It’s most satisfying to me accompanied by happy, orgasmic music. HAHA. It’s not the music that really enduces the effect of being aroused or anything that will eventually lead to sex (although there are indeed some songs like that) but HAHA, ‘orgasmic music’ would be like the phrase that is currently most convenient for me to use in describing it. Examples? Placebo and MUSE. It feels like there’s a suddenly isolation from this reality I’m in and a sharp jab accompanied by goose bumps whenever I listen to them. It just makes me twitch (in a good way) listening to them; probably because due to my err… endowed imagination, the music is able to conjure instant images in my head that are explicit in so many ways (including the artists themselves)… HAHA.

I love Nabokov. Seriously he’s my role model in prose, other than Dickens and Joyce and gods, reading him once again was like an instant kiss of water on the lips when it’s parched during an abnormally hot summer day here. What he writes is the love that I want in my Life. Yes, I am a romantic but it doesn’t mean that the love I only appreciate and uphold with much fervour is ROMANTIC LOVE. It’s probably so overrated to say Nabokov is such a genius but to me the dead man really IS. I’ve put off his Collection of Short Stories (it’s a damn blessing to have a copy of that) AND my beloved copy of the Incestuous Family Chronicle of the Veens a.k.a Ada or Ardor. Reading A.A, I couldn’t just focus on Nabokov’s word’s allure and style nor be completely focused on the essence of love that the Veen siblings had. It just can’t be! I find it thrilling to be an audience of some social stigma (not to mention in excessive, vividly described amounts) and that adds to the thrill of my expectation of a romance (that to me is not at all pretence, but genuinely true) and to the words themselves. A.A makes me jealous: being created by this prolific writer and having the qualities of the story I wanted for myself (minus the incest, of course). With Nabokov being able to draw out such emotion and write it and finding what he wrote that instantly captures me, I’m in awe. And at the same time, it gives me a slight frown, knowing that this certain feeling that I know I could only best described was seized by this dead man’s had, putting it down before me. I guess it’s weird to feel that. I don’t know. It’s a personal qualm as a reader but it’s not such a big deal. I just happen to come across that train of thought once again.

I’m not writing. Nor am I drawing anything. I haven’t done anything that is productive concerning my personal interests. And thus this idleness is making me incompetent than how I usually am. I lack so much practice. And there’s this poster making contest at school and still I’m deciding whether to join for the prize.

I WISH to meet someone like Van Veen *sigh* Deym, strangely boys in books are sometimes better than in real life.

She Revolutionized @ 10:33 p.m

January 6, 2007 Sunday

Music: Map of the Problematique - MUSE
Koisuru for the day: this person

I miss biting. Really.

After talking to Jinx about stuff back in high school where our ‘coven’ back then really indulged in the idea and action of being cute and cuddly with someone while we sink out teeth into their smooth skin (girl’s skin feels so wonderful as compared to boys, in my opinion). It gives of a weird sensation especially when you hear yourself gasp softly while a younger girl (or one of our seniors) giggles. It drove me slightly insane because it was… wow.

Especially when you drive someone against the wall. It’s a beautiful feeling. It’s a rare thing to find a girl like that; some girl who’s genuinely WILLING and not some over-the-top one who just wanted in for the ride. Still, restraints must be done. It was a social stigma back then in high school until now.

It’s just that… In YAOI terms, I miss being the ‘seme’. I could only sigh.

+++

I was in Europe, on a cold morning. The voices outside the window spoke a foreign tongue. It was not winter and I’m guessing it was autumn by how brown leaves fell from the tree across my window. I sat there staring and finally got a good view of my surroundings: I was in my apartment it seemed and I was on the desk with a laptop and an ancient type writer.

I had longer hair and my nails were painted purple. It’s the kind of bright purple that I’ve always wanted and surprisingly, my room was surrounded by massive bookshelves filled with books.

And there he was behind me. Slimmer and taller than me with short scruffy brown hair and dark brown eyes. He gave a lop-sided smile and instantly rushed against the book shelf, pinning my arms above my head. He spoke and it was like how a girl would.

“Not going to say anything to me?”

I demanded to be released and definitely he was stronger as he pushed me back and forth against the wall, repeatedly causing the books to fall on the fall. My back throbbed and he smiled. I saw he had a cloth wrapped around his breast.

“And she was Arisfaelle, young and awkwardly watching other young girls and boys. But had none of them as she would only spend her energy towards a certain Louie”

“How did you—?”

“It’s from a book. I’ll read one for you” He bent down to pick up one of the books who fell and opened it. “And I loved her so, whenever she wrote down words on her notebooks. And still I do, even if she spoke of a Death Ember Eyes she liked to watch from afar and how she was mad for them. She was seventeen and forever seventeen,”

“Who wrote this?”

“Silly question. I did! Aren’t you happy? Like me, we’re both immortal now. It was my turn to write,”

She Revolutionized @ 12:29 p.m

December 16, 2007 Sunday

Music: Flux - Banquet
Koisuru for the day:

I’m bored of being bored. HAHA~ Okay tomorrow would be the start of our last day of school. I’m skipping English 4 tomorrow because we’re just going to check the damn exam sheets and nothing else but that (one subject during Mondays~). I’ve been Christmas shopping for the past few days and tomorrow the final leg of the Christmas spree. I’m going to accompany Ron with his wardrobe shopping because seriously he needs to get a decent pair of wardrobe. And honestly, I can’t even consider his current wardrobe decent.

I’ve been sound trippin the whole time other events were happening. I got to listen to Bloc Party’s FLUX because someone leaked it through the net. Oh yeah. It’s really dance and kinda surprising from the usual beats that I got used to from them. But lovely lovely music :) I really liked Flux and I do hope the rest of the songs on their new album is good as the first album XD Oh yeah

HWEE SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS~ :)

Haha :) This is really a cute shot of Matt and Russel together XD Whoops. That sounded wrong. Haha but seriously both of them are cute here :) Matt is really a nice blend of English & Chinese and Russell with his blockhead style is really adorable.

Brit boys still own me :D Especially a guitar totting one with a falsetto voice :D *gush*

And yey, bought myself several new clothes. This is like actually the first time I splurged on clothes than on books XD haha but still I bought myself one book at Fully Booked: An anthology of H.P Lovecraft’s short stories and I mainly bought it because it has a complete version of The Dream Quest of the Unknown Kadath since my e-book is crap :P And since tomorrow is shopping day again, I’ll probably buy a new shirt, again. Or blouse. Or accessories XD

Am I anesthetized, since I don’t particularly feel so much emotion lately other than happiness? Or am I just too removed? Probably. People don’t change easily you see.

She Revolutionized @ 8:39 p.m

November 27, 2007 Tuesday

Music: ...
Koisuru for the day:

Lareighne,

As far as I know, you’re somewhere out or rather under the streets of some European country (most probably London) taking down shots of absinthe in their infamous bars. Good luck to that and I would like to see you very soon (I hope since I’m in desperate need of some other ‘dangerously moving kinetic energy’ in my life especially now that it’s similar to bland coffee and the equally gloomy weather pays no help).

You’ll be happy to hear that (once again) I ventured into the literary field of eroticism, many thanks to a certain anthology that I found in the shelves of the much-obscure sci-fi section of a bookstore. You would’ve laughed at me, seeing how I look. I, myself knew that my eyes gleam seeing the cover (you wouldn’t like it… it’s not to our artistic preference~). Anyway, a book about that is STILL a book about THAT (ehem ehem~) and I was always interested in the sex, humour and yeah, drama in sci-fi. I’ve finished four stories so far; one was about a Japanese vampire and it’s one of the best: I viewed the whole story like it was one of those classical prints the Japanese had. An the choice of words… Delectable, yes. I could imagine the spasms and the agony (the pain is meant to be similar to the ero-guro of the Japanese and I find that lovely). Oh no, not tentacle sex.

Sex = Death. The French said this and even the Japanese seconded. Yeah, this was momentarily discussed in our Philosophy class. This reminds me of the Marquis de Sade, strangely.

And did I mention that’s vampire erotica were talking about? I nearly spazzed my brains out getting hold of the book. I almost didn’t buy it; I was choosing between Margaret Atwood’s ‘A Handmaid’s Tale’ and this. Ms. Atwood can wait (I haven’t even finished reading Cat’s Eye yet)~ I’m greatly enjoying my new book though it’s somehow awkward to read it in front of my friends at school, especially when they point out that I smile and knowing I’m into those kinds of things. But nevertheless, I’m entertained.

‘the insistent press of his little genitals against hers’—In the Greenhouse (much to the male’s embarrassment, his poor package was broadcasted)

I have a new set of earrings by the way and I’m in love with them! It’s a black and gold ankh~ I love how it makes me feel satisfied knowing I bear the mark of the blessing of an eternal life. It’s so pretty! Best of luck darling and I’m soon to consume more hearts (its girls’ hearts this time… and I still adore pretty girls) Enjoy the green faeries and your lovers.

She Revolutionized @ 9:39 p.m

November 23, 2007 Friday

Music: ...

Gabriel was a male tonight despite his clean, empty loins. He felt the weight on his lap shifting and his hands continued to stroke the ebony tresses sprawled on his thighs. She had been quiet for a while and Gabriel knew too well. He felt the cadence of his creator’s heart on his chest and felt the same tightness in his cavity that his love experienced as well. His other hand he placed on her arms and felt they were cold. He lowered his emerald eyes to her and clutched tightly her arm, hoping that her blood that flowed inside is body would give him warmth.

“Gabriel, I would like to be the walls of that place again so it would provide a supplement to my fading memory,” the girl on his lap spoke. Her breath was warm against his bare thigh but he knows he could not place kisses on her tonight. “I am going senile at such an early age, right?”

“No, darling. Not at all… The mind could only handle much when it’s been preoccupied by too many things,” he replied.

“I’m so afraid of forgetting,” he heard her say.

His mistress-love had a dream of being immortalized in words by someone, afraid of being forgotten as the years pass. And he himself has been witness to her endless free-writing of everything she knew around her, of what she didn’t know yet and her constantly changing self. She told him that it was useless to write an autobiography; it’s never accurate because it loses to Change. To write of how things change in relation to her was what mattered, or that was how she told him that.

“Sometimes I can’t remember his face anymore,” she said after a moment of silence. “He needs to be alive,”. And yes, his mistress-creator has written pages to keep her lord alive in her. But she saw how dread shadowed her eyes after each time she has read what she wrote. She was ridden with discontent on how much she could experience but barely captures it. “Trying to remember people shouldn’t be a sad thing, right Gabriel?”

“One cannot help but to still feel sadness. There’s always a sense of nostalgia in recalling things, especially people,” he explained.

“He doesn’t deserve to be remembered in such an ugly fashion,” she sat up with her black locks tousled and looked at him. The night was deep enough to cover the blushes that formed on his pale cheeks as her ember eyes met his emerald ones. “I can’t take away this dire feeling and if one could just open my chest and take everything that feels heavy inside—“

“I could,” The androgyn placed his long palms over her chest, feeling the hallow cavity between her breasts; their hearts still beat in the same rhythm. He slightly burrowed a fingernail against the skin of her chest. “Tell me what you want and I could take this away,” he dug slightly deeper to her skin.

“I saw a book today and it reminded me of him so much,” she uttered with a soft smile. “There are things that look like they were copied from before. A while ago, the way my shadows fall on the floor seemed like the exact same way how it fell, overlapping his on the floor of the halls. The way I turned a yellowed page of a book made the same sound when he turned the page as he read to me the lines written on it,” The way she said it suddenly made him hesitant to touch her. Fragile.

The younger one’s chest heaved as she moved closer to his face. “I’d close my eyes and settle for a kiss on the cheeks. Once you do that, I’d think of you as my lord. You are not Gabril at that moment you pressed your lips on my cheeks,” And she closed her eyes.

She didn’t see how Gabriel bit her lip and how he placed a hand on his chest as well. Their heartbeats weren’t the same anymore. She didn’t see how her creation bent his head in defeat before giving her a trembling kiss whilst she said: “Everything I do, reminds me of you,”

It was not intended for him.

++++++++++

Chapter # I-don't-know of my pending story... The line between fiction and reality is thin.

She Revolutionized @ 11:30 p.m

November 22, 2007 Tursday

Music: ...
Koisuru for the day: Milord (I haven't used that for a while)

Damn it. I didn’t think of anything before I slept last night, so why oh why does that have to come up again? I’m not sure if it was obvious that I was spacing out the whole day, but I usually looked messed up so what the heck… I would describe it as like a violent mix of random colours, swirled in like a… grotesque way and it’s always being swirled around constantly and becomes a vacuum, dragging everything in. As far as my words go, this is probably the closest thing I could describe the feeling inside my uh, chest cavity. It’s not as agonizing as before but still, its sucks. I’m glad I’m not as bummed or infected with misanthrope as I was like before. Srsly.

It’s like this old film strip that doesn’t stop rolling in my mind no matter how much I try to push it for the day. And damn it that dreams have to be so vivid! Damn it that the halls of my high school looks so clear and empty and how eerily beautiful it looks during late afternoons when most of the inhabitants of that building are leaving the campus and only the shadows and the soft sunlight is left. Damn it that I just had to see myself treading that place, with the exact same hopeful look and (as damn corny as it sounds) the same tight feeling of (the) L-word and unrest and self-control trying to mask that ecstatic energy, that awkward teenage mannerisms I had that makes me look so bad. And running along my fingertips on those walls didn’t help too; the walls still showed the shadows that we cast before and faintly echoed that voice (yeah… reverberated so much that I’d thought I’d lose it with my chest exploding throwing away whatever I contained inside). Unexpected it was really… A while ago at school I saw a professor and he passed by me wearing a blue polo shirt and the classic formal black pants and that made it worse (oh yes, those shades of blue and the other multitudes of blue that I have seen for the past 4 years). I was just screaming silently.

Why do you do this to me, Lord Shaper?! Weave to me better things to see whilst I sleep but this~!

"When you walk away
I count the steps that you take

And my eyes we’re still playful especially within the range that your essence occupies. And I remember how much I blinked because it was frustrating to keep them really open and look at your hands or the creases of your shirt. I noted how there were creases on the edge of your books that you were going to let me borrow; sometimes you had chalk dust on hands… And I was still vain, most especially finding myself triumphant when I see my reflection in your glasses (that were described as ‘classic’) with a thought running in my mind that you were INDEED paying attention to me. I still read Stephen King, if you must know (he has smitten me even before and still I'm his loyal Constant Reader) and I wonder if I already beat you in collecting his books (I only need 3 more anthologies of King to complete his short story collection). And you were never selfish of smiles.

You occupied 2 notebooks. Best of luck to those who would try decipher those ‘blahs’ because you have to arm yourself with Italian.

Let me just say this. I miss you so much. So, so much. And this feels so foreign now that I think about it and gods, it sucks..

His hands reached mine and I felt how rough they were, how bony and calloused they were. And there was also a tinge of the sensation of blackboard chalk powder against his palms. I hated how comforting it was.

++++++++++

drama mode. deym. tama na nga.ma-iyak pa ako

She Revolutionized @ 11:57 p.m

November 21, 2007 Wednesday

Music: Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon
Koisuru for the day: ♥ GOYA ♥

As much as I like rain, it doesn’t seem so ‘likeable’ for me anymore especially when it interferes with your plans. HMPPP~! I was supposed to go shopping a while ago, right after school and buy some blank CDs but yeah it rained. And besides, Mom was late in picking me up, so… I don’t want to study for Anatomy tomorrow~ And I was so down a while ago like there was a major lack of energy in me. GAAAAH I need a new mp3 player~

And yes, new movies! But I’m really glad I was like able to watch ‘Science of Sleep’ and ‘Volver’~ Go ahead and watch Science of Sleep! It’s really fluff-fest but the good kind of fluff and Gael Garcia Bernal is just LOVE! And… I want to watch ‘Sweeney Todd’ so bad! DAMN DAMN DAMN~ I already watched the trailer online and it was good. It really looks promising and yeah, it premieres this Christmas :D And there’s like more movies that were added to my list of ‘must watch films’ >__>

-Wrist cutters: A Love Story
Line from the trailer: “When I’m here, with you, I kinda miss myself… The way I used to be” “What were you like?” “I was happy” XD HAHA. Rated R though :P

-HORRORFEST 2007: 8 Films to Die For
Haha, I’m a horror fan and the trailer looks cool. I still have to find out what’s the title of the film that features grotesque medical procedures. HMMM~ I don’t really care about the NR rating~! Screw them!

BELLA
I like a good romance once in a while (to satisfy the hopeless romantic in me~ WEEEEH XD)

-27 Dresses – And yes the occasional chick flicks as well :D

I watched again Takashi Miike’s ‘Audition’ several days ago and it was better than the first time I watched it (yeah because during the first time I just finished eating and I almost threw up). Is the uncut version available anywhere? Even the uncut version of Ichi the Killer????? Watch Audition. It's really good stuff but not so much if you have a weak stomach :D

... I'm too lazy to do anything................ I'll probably not study for tomorrow's graded recitation in Anatomy XD haha

She Revolutionized @ 5:50 p.m

November 18, 2007 Sunday

Music: Barely Breathing - Duncan Sheik
Koisuru for the day: ♥ hahahaha ♥

I just had a beer. LOL. It’s been so long since I last drank… There was this sort of ‘reunion dinner’ earlier tonight, mostly on dad’s side of the family. WEEE~ Calamares and seafood :D I don’t really know what time I would be sleping because I’m still doing—err, finishing my brother’s project and part of the deal was that I draw 100+ species of bacteria that he researched under the Kingdom of Monera. Good thing my class for tomorrow is still later in the afternoon~

I need to go shopping again :P I’m still deciding whether I’ll go on the 24th and buy 1,500 php worth of tickets just to see Master Neil. Haha. I doubt he’ll remember me and my hysterical-ness when I first met him two years ago. I’ll probably need to give him a much decent drawing of him eating a sushi. But gods, 1500 would be so worth it just to see him again! Damn, damn! I so wish Stephen King would consider visiting here someday since he has fans here~ ahem~ ahem~ Speaking of King, I only need two more books to complete his short story collection. I don’t really care if what I got are all those paperback prints that were back in the late 70s (actually I even prefer it that way because it gives me a much bigger sense of that era where he wrote that story).

Today, Mikeru didn’t show up… Bastard that he is. At least his younger sister knows how annoyed I am. I didn’t think I was being too cruel. I’d rather see him in this pathetic state rather than hear him getting depressed over much serious fucked-up matter :P Do you understand what I mean? He’ll get over this and I strongly believe he would. If he doesn’t, he sucks XD 8but srsly, he's better than this* I do miss him though. Kala niya siya lang nagtatampo, sige lang. Magmatigasan tayo. I hanged out with Ron, Kuya Bern and some kids (that don't even want to go near me dahil nahihiya daw sila sa akin, for a reason I don't know why~ weird).

And yeah, I dreamt of something funny. Goya let me ride his car and basically it showcased how freakishly adorable he was while driving. He was panicky behind the wheel, cursing himself beforehand in case he runs over a random pedestrian. He was still so nice. I wonder if he does drive that way though… And currently, Goya occupies several pages of my notebook (my classic obsessed-fan-girl passages of love and err, lus—err, excessive gushing? XD)And whenever I watch Hey! Arnold, Helga reminds me so much of myself when she writes on that pink notebook, as embarrassing it is for me to think about it. It's annoying and hilarious at the same time because it sounds like awkward, poorly constructed Shakespeare-ish gibberish :P Did that even make sense? Err, no, just like my writing.

She Revolutionized @ 11:50 p.m

November 17, 2007 Saturday

Music: For the First Time - Lifehouse
Koisuru for the day: ♥ hmmm ♥

BLAH DAY~

I could get by our Physics class looking at out professor’s shiny semi-bald head. PRAMIS, MUKHA SIYANG BUMBILYA. Just remove the excess hair that surrounds the lower part of his head and there… Floor wax-y texture, I could imagine. GAAAAH. Problem solving is a drag~ My Physics group mates find it that way also… But yeah, laboratory work is always a drag. PFFT. Mental note: always bring my Physics notebook back in high school and my Physics textbook @___@ If I want to accomplish his activities (which he forgets to teach us beforehand…)

Anatomy was fine; my professor is still pretty as over. No quiz and a classmate of mine who has been missing in action for this subject showed up (he has a nice name, mind you). There was a ‘blah moment’ though. I found it rather interesting. AHA. :P I’m going to study if ever I want to pass.

I just want to get over this whole course… Nursing, I mean. Even though I’m not really into it, I have to get this over with soon, if I want to get away from it. LOL~ I can’t afford to fail anything that would add another YEAR to keep me from graduating~ This would be my momentary profession right after I graduate and then perhaps pursue Europe or something. WOHOO. Venice Italy is looking very promising~!

Tomorrow, I’ll be dating Ron & Mikeru after the longest time XD HAHA. We’ll be eating a lot by that time because this was the overdue ‘date’ that just wouldn’t push through because both me and Michael were so busy. I haven’t seen them for 3 weeks already, which is fine enough to leave room for the ‘miss factor’. Gyahahaha XD And I’m going to start to drive! Or rather, I’m going to be taught how to drive this month and I’m quite excited. I offered to drive Ron and Michael somewhere but yeah, they refused. Ayaw pa daw nilang mamatay at iiwas daw sila sa akin kung mahal pa nila ang kanilang mga buhay. Kung bike daw binabanga ko na, paano pa daw kaya kung may car na ako, diba? COUGHS. Sorry na! Me ‘running over’ that biker was an accident! I was dizzy (>_<) If I learn to drive, that would be good because I’m sick of commuting. I hate the smoke (I’m allergic to it~) and the heat and the whole walking thing here and there…

I miss my lesbo lover (Abbie)~ XD I haven’t visited her for the longest time already (two weeks passed, I guess). We haven’t played Nitendo Wii! I miss her happy hyper evil :P

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"So turn up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away"
Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional
I really feel like I'd break... just hearing that voice.

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I'm so sorry >___< HUWAA. I feel like I've done something wrong. Deym. I shouldn't have bothered about THAT @__@

She Revolutionized @ 6:25 p.m

November 15, 2007 Thursday

Music: Artboy meets Artgirl - Moi Caprice
Koisuru for the day: ♥ goya ♥

I love Moi Caprice~! XD They’re such a happy band! I’ve been playing this song non-stop and I can’t help but smile and feel that fuzzy feeling! XD HAHA HOMG. But seriously this song is really good.

Artboy Meets Artgirl - Moi Cparice

No, don't tell me that everythings invain
Don't you know that every war will end
'Cause when artboy meets artgirl there's gonna be love

Lust and hunger, gluttony and greed
Yes, it's true that bad and mean succeed
But when artboy meets artgirl there's gonna be love
if artgirl needs artboy enough

I'll balance their checkbooks, I'll do what they can't do
I'll clean their apartments, just as long as they get through

No, don't tell me that the sky is always grey
Don't you know that it will clear some day
'Cause when artboy meets artgirl there's gonna be love
if artgirl needs artboy enough

Then the world just stops and then everyone starts dancing
As they tell you about their symphonies and the poetry they've made
As they guide you through their galleries of all the wonders they create

No, don't tell me that everythings gone wrong
Don't you now that this time we'll be strong
'Cause when artboy meets artgirl there's gonna be love
if artgirl needs artboy enough

Then the world just stops and then everyone starts dancing
As they tell you about their symphonies and the poetry they've made
As they guide you through their galleries of all the wonders they create

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More love, more love, more happy, happy love.

Speaking of LOVE, I need to buy myself the complete CSI: Las Vegas series DVD~ I can’t stand it. Haha and besides, I need it to supply my Grissom X Sara X Greg fandom. Haha :D But I’m a GSR fan, so, yeah :D Goodness, where the heck am I gonna find a solo lab manual for our Anatomy class? 800 php is already equivalent to clothes and DVDs… Damn, I need a Quiapo trip :P Who wants to come? :D

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I could make that person immortal, even without their consent.
I’ll be willing to. You’re worth it.
I’ll write pages about you that you’ll be like a legacy, not leaving the tongues of the people I’m leaving those pages with. I’ll make everything about you so vivid, that they’ll wish you’ve been alive and that you had been with them.
I’m content being this way… Eternally unrequited.

She Revolutionized @ 9:00 p.m

November 14, 2007 Wednesday

Music: Polaroid from Mars - Tullycraft
Koisuru for the day: ♥ goya ♥

LONG TIME NO UPDATE! :D

Okay. It’s true that I have neglected this blog for the longest time already. This would have to stop now. HAHA. Now, I’ll present to you a long entry that would chronicle the daily blahs and shits that I have encountered.

The second semester started not with a bang but it was fine. New faces were evident and it was your typical setting within the school premises. Sometimes it’s so funny to think that our school is so small and you almost know everyone. You get to see the same faces every single day that you’re there and even if you do know them, you still can’t say a simple ‘hello’. It’s always a hurried one, as if no one has time for each other. I’m guilty of that sometimes and I always do remember to tell myself to smile always and be sincere to those people that I know. It’s like everyone is still a familiar stranger to one another.

I already identified those people that obviously I am not fond of and those that are generally…blahs. I mean, I would still pay to them the general courtesy that I show everyone because they still show me respect as this individual and I would do the same for them. It’s like they’re there with me but there’s this limited actions I would do in order not to get distracted by them. I probably should stop pointing out people’s mistakes too much. I’m becoming too much of an egoist… err, rather a perfectionist… GRR~ I can’t help it. I feel so frustrated that I filter so many people and I arrive at the point that I filtered everyone. I need to be more accepting~ Le sigh~ Generally I wouldn’t even bother to bitch about them or snob them. I don’t want any extra drama in my life… I’m having enough dramas and struggles already. LOL. I could still tolerate them… Yes, I’m that kind of patient person.

And I sort of made a promise to myself to not be so pretentious and overly ahead of myself at things because it comes out as intimidating or rather like… I don’t know. I’m probably so timid that sometimes it’s so cold and aloof already. I’ve been having like a personal evaluation lately and yeah, there were several friends of mine who have been honest to me about that. But really, I’m not that! It’s like this defense mechanism. I’m just, like, conscious of people so much… I do have issues with people but I do try to compromise and be more understanding. It’s so hard sometimes because I’m so used to being so solitary that my ‘solitary’ mannerisms show in circumstances where it’s not needed such as the company of others… It’s like a big buffer right now. It makes me dull... DULL. Damn and I say that I’m all about things that deviate from the mundane.

Ironically, I mostly find myself blending in the background. Crap.

And then I’d brood about it. I brood a lot. It’s so hard to write these things when I generally know that I’m always inconsistent with what I show. Embarrassing to admit, but I do get ‘lost’ at times with myself. Hell, I’m not even sure if I did change for the good or the worse.

I got this from my dad; as opposed to my mother whose sweet and all that, I’m so frugal with ‘human warmth’ or whatever that is… LOL. I’m still trying to fix myself and still be the happy person that I am. BUT I won’t just base this from genetic, inherited trait shit… I’m my own pet. I could decide for myself what I should do with myself. And I’ve decided to be a better person… yeah, definitely.

She Revolutionized @ 8:30 p.m

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