July 4, 2010 | Sunday
MUSIC: Just Say Yes - Snow Patrol
BOOK: Neverwhere - N. Gaiman
♥ FOR GOD'S SAKE DEAR, JUST SAY YES ♥
★ I used to think it was particularly terrifying to some degree to be looking for real love—the love that is ridiculous, consuming and inconvenient. See? It was such an awkward word for me sometimes and usually I’d rather say ‘I like your lean hands’, ‘I like your eyes’, ‘I like your wide back’ but you standing there, the invisible Force of the Universe or probably just Another Me give a nudge then a push to choke out the words ‘LOVE’. It’s not so bad and I love it how it melts when it falls on my lips and it bursts back to you then me. Thank you for last Friday—you are one big giant Happy Meal, several deadly therapeutic hugs for my sad, sick jaded heart, one big giant stress ball.
★ It was so funny and so particularly giddy a while ago because I literally push you away, then at that distance I have thought of too many things to tell you all at once and I don’t know what to say first. And I really miss you easily but I also like that we can be apart and we can be both okay. Your face for a span of less than 3 minutes of THAT MOMENT I would like to replay all over and I would like to go back and pat you on the head “There, there mumu, it’s okay I love you and I know I said it so weirdly and probably not the kind of thing you wanted, but I do love you very much”. But it was perfect you said and I get that feeling that it seems like LOVE melts on your lips and it bursts back to me when you say it. What happened with us-- accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single, flashing, throbbing, moment.
★ I am the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned. I am the relief, the sweet relief. I am the peace. I am the lack I am the happiness and the joy I am surrounded by. I am the comfortable silence. I am yours. I love you. -- July 3, 2010
♥ Everything about Friday was definitely meant-to-happen. Binalikan ang 600+ Lego keychain na Harley Quinn. FAIL kasi walang bawas. Lakad. Saw Lego keychains Star Wars edition. Lapit. Naantig sa Darth Vader at Storm Trooper. Windang na 200+ pesos lang ang Lego keychains. Among many other fun things ♥
July 1, 2010 | Thursday
MUSIC: Quasimodo - Lifehouse
BOOK: Neverwhere - N. Gaiman
♥ AND THERE WAS ONLY RUST & THE UNIVERSE'S STARDUST ♥
★ Happiness isn’t good enough for me sometimes. Just like what Calvin said, I demand euphoria. I have chronic discontentment, which I live with idly and sometimes shamelessly try to fill in.
I would very much like to do this one of these days
★ The weather has been particularly bipolar for the past several days. It was a gray day yesterday, cool and gentle. It was a good start, feeling very awestruck, excited yet calm, smiling inside like how cats do it in a very creamy manner. And yet again another day has evaporated, quite gone, in rapt contemplation of the magic of the universe and the cosmos. Tired yesterday but curiously elated, which lasted up until this chill, clear morning and I’m not complaining. Let me start a review on how school has been: very satisfying. I have only a single subject to attend to this first semester since I’ve taken up Spanish and Rizal previously, to the point where I simply forgot the whole content of the course. I’m actually quite fond of our professor who actually knows what to do to stimulate the class and make the full four hours worthwhile. And he also knows definitely how to give something to students to work with in Nursing Psychiatry. I deem I would be particularly meticulous with his requirements for the prelims which is a film analysis and I’m gladly doing Shutter Island after watching it yesterday. I’ve been much happier lately with plenty of reasons—initially realizing that Life begins minutely to take care of itself and there’s always an odd impulse which brings a flood of joy. The Universe has begun to justify itself to me—bit by bit—slowly I’ll build it.
I must be dreaming, or
Pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as I'm losing it so completely
- Must Be Dreaming, Frou Frou
★ One of my high school lovelies, Christine is back from almost a year of internship from Singapore and I miss her so much! My high school lovelies have arranged a fantastic get together on Saturday and I’m terribly excited for it since it’s been so long since we last went out together as a whole group. I smell food trip coming! I smell food trip coming! :D
★ Anything worth doing is worth overdoing and this includes: school breaks with friends, singing (even if you don’t have a nice voice), cuddling, strange adventures, rambling conversations about your existence, eating bananas with gooey peanut butter, following your whims and your internal compass, sleeping in, pillow fights, listening to the ocean, kissing, screaming your heart out, being loud, losing track of time and living your life.
★ Wednesday: DVD-marathon-day with Pao, which we’ve also done last week Wednesday and since it’s the only time available to hold movie marathons due to academic obligations. Movie menu: Shutter Island, Youth in Revolt, Kick Ass and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (which we couldn’t watch because of *yet again* time constraints). There was greasy, high-calorie pizza which we shared and gobbled down in a matter of 5 minutes or less while laughing at the wisecracks of Michael Cera and also lengua which was shared with his family during lunch. Children don’t really grow up: bodies get bigger and our hearts get torn up, but it doesn’t really matter when we shoot someone with a knowing, smug face and grab and pillow and instantly the bed is transformed into an arena of a violent (no joke, the bed almost gave in), juvenile display of physical prowess using pillows. We get beat up but we learn and get stronger and there’s no room for fatigue leeching into your veins when there’s epic pillow fights. And I cannot lie: I adore the way our limbs become entangled when his skin touches mine. And I cannot lie more… not to say that it would be brilliant to glide my lips over the mountain of your fingertips. It was very comfortable and we had stayed a little longer than expected and I never imagined lateness as being illegal, but it was unfortunately and as sloppy and lazy as we’ve been tonight, we trudged across the murky streets so he can take me home. Thank you for those epic greek mythology books o__o Oh we make sense, even thought most of the time we don’t. But we do, WE MAKE SENSE and words cannot say how much I missed you. No fucking joke. There's is an indispensable addiction we cannot ignore here and we couldn't stop it if we could.
Books can be possessive, can’t they? You’re walking around in a bookstore and a certain one will jump out at you, like it had moved there on its own, just to get your attention. Sometimes what’s inside will change your life, but sometimes you don’t even have to read it. Sometimes it’s a comfort just to have a book around. Many of these books haven’t even had their spines cracked. ‘Why do you buy books you don’t even read?’ our daughter asks us. That’s like asking someone who lives alone why they bought a cat. For company, of course. - Sarah Addison Allen (The Sugar Queen)
★ What we do is more than what words can say. Words can’t say this, even if we get the shocked-questioning-wtf looks from others. These hands miss yours.
June 23, 2010 | Wednesday
MUSIC: Kiss with a Fist - Florence + the Machines
BOOK: Neverwhere - N. Gaiman
♥ R TURNS 20 ♥
★ JUNE 19 2010: the 20th anniversary of my glorious expulsion from my mother’s womb! I have never planned anything significant for my past birthdays (except on my 18th birthday) since it always falls on the weekday of June and we all know it’s spent at school by that time. For this year my birthday fell on the weekend, a Saturday although I spent most of it at the operating room of MCMC and almost got stranded that night. I was in awe and deeply touched for everyone who remembered my birthday and expressed their well-wishes for me. I love you all immensely.
June 19, 2010: around 12 midnight. Photo by Pao Belleza
★ This cannot be denied: best & funniest birthday memory! First actual planned birthday surprise that was just… ♥ Thank you for doing the countdown and for the warmest hug even if I’m all sweaty, my hair is a extra messy and all over the place, and I’m not looking my best but still able to make me feel that I’m at the center of the universe. It reminded of the fear that I had about growing up (which is reminded every time I have my birthday) because sometimes it seems like things will never feel this beautiful and new again. And thank you for being that person that reminded me on my 20th that it’ll be alright. It was literally the morning jolt I needed. You are brilliant Paolo Belleza, wander boy, harutan buddy, shopping buddy, driving buddy, katakawan buddy, wasiwas buddy, hilata buddy, fighting buddy, movie buddy, weird shit buddy, takbo-hanggang-hingal buddy… etc. What we have, we’re destined to have and every moment leaves a significant impression, whether it be cuts or spilled water or bruises—so please wipe off that frown from your face for those lingering bruises. We are every possibility of something strange but spectacular ♥ TANGINA MO, SOBRA! ♥ ISMAG It was literally joy personified.
★ On the afternoon of the 19th, it rained particularly hard and I had the ugliest and dreaded feeling my birthday was literally being washed down the drained. And also our clinical instructor forgot to dismiss us early because he was too preoccupied with fiddling and playing with the iPhone. Late dinner pizza + pasta dinner with Pao who picked me up and bravely treaded the flooded streets of Mandaluyong that night.
★ On the 20th, it was the 10th Philippine Toys, Hobbies and Collectibles Convention at SM Megamall and it was only on this day that we were able to attend. Yesterday was complete fail since I was dismissed very late although me and my companions we’re pretty satisfied and happy with our purchases :D Very, very happy! ♥
★ On the 21st, SURPRISE BY JERICH & NICOLE! ♥ It was a semi-sad day because my Bearbrick Storm Trooper Captain Rex was lost in the urban wilderness of Serendra and was not successfully retrieved :| BUT I loved the blue cupcake which rolled on the carpeted floors of Fully Booked, my first ever unlit pink birthday candle that I blew for a wish, spontaneous bursts of song lyrics, surprise text messages that weren’t supposed to be~ Thank you Jerich for making me happy with a happy meal at McDonald’s and for Nicole, Az and Pao for spending the night with me ♥ I still wish though Rex would come back, like in Toy Story~
★ FRIENDS! I can’t think of any greater happiness than to be with you guys all the time, without any interruptions, endlessly, even though I feel that here in this lifetime, this world… there’s no undisturbed place for our happiness and love, neither in the city or anywhere else. Thank you for being a part of my life and for being deliriously happy with me over crazy stuff, experiencing pain, learning, think, live, exist~ THIS AND EVERYTHING, ALWAYS ♥
June 15, 2010 | Tuesday
MUSIC: Stereolove - Taken by Cars
BOOK: Neverwhere - N. Gaiman
♥ SUMMER 2010 ♥
★ I will write the possibility of us everywhere.
★ There were many summer nights that I thought that: I don’t want to get to the end, or tomorrow even. I don’t want to realize that my life is merely a collection of passivity, routines, missed chances, meetings, errands, academia stress and unstirred passions or dreams. I don’t want to be dust, I’d rather be ashes and have my spark burn out in a brilliant, shining warm blaze than it should be stifled by slowly fading and dry rot. Is it too much to ask to embody the proper function us is to LIVE not simply to exist? I want to eat dirty ice cream with pandesal on the streets, sing (or at least, attempt to) out loud in the most dramatic way in the car, and wear tights under skirts, and stay up all night laughing, and paint the walls of my room the exact color of the skies—day or night, if not the bursting nebulas of the Universe. I want to sleep on the hard ground, with clean white sheets or simply with a book to rest my head upon, and steal the night, and eat ripe strawberries and mangoes. I simply want to watch brilliant movies and read books so good they make me jump.
★ My cheeks are burning.
One of the best nights.
★ The movie A-Team was an unexpected pleasant surprise! It’s testosterone pumped, noisy but it’s a good choice for entertainment. Liam Neeson + Irish accent. HMMM 8D
★ My friends are lovely people and my life with them is blessed and lovely too. My Paulinian darlings then there’s my BFFFFs and my Sabogs—all of them meteors, every atom of them in a magnificent glow rather than a sleepy permanent planet. Though we might have not spent the summer as much as we should have, I shall use my time to share with you all of the little things which are passing, going and dying. Our lives together should be that— if I have not shared with them all of the little things which will die, I feel as if we were dead as well. Here’s to our last school year! Cheers!
★ Thank you Paulinian darlings. Yes, we are all terrified in some level, in some manner we may or may not understand. It claws on our stomachs, burns our hearts and insides and we cry and shivers run havoc up our spines. But we’re in it together and it gives me a strange thrill and happiness to know that none of us get a how-to-guide. We’re all just kind of winging it, in the best possible way. Thank you for the rock operas, the gore, the horror, the sudden small shrieks, Hungarian sausages, cold cookie dough on frozen yogurt and geeking English men. Let’s all be at our best, be willing, be dazzled, cast aside facts and pretentions and float together over our difficult lives. Together, in one way or another.
★ The feeling of the expansion of your consciousness and it was the most ecstatic feeling and experience possible… in a long time.
★ It was something new: a gentle, subtle way of cradling my small spider web hands between yours. We were messy and the weather was very disagreeable and we have the concrete’s dirt and the whole night on our pants and out of breath and noisy and random and almost got lost—very effective. Thank you for putting fire on my cheeks, and for accomplishing the feat of taking back the city, the night/ wee hours of the morning with me especially this summer ♥
★ Hello rain!
★ First day of school is accomplished & I feel like hibernating again. HAHA :D
June 6, 2010 | Sunday
MUSIC: Neon Brights - Taken by Cars
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ Bliss Explosions: Cloudwatching + True Blood S3♥
★ Good day, internet horrorbags of delight! I’ve been feeling pretty ace recently. Spent the past several days entirely here at home, sleeping, binge eating on junk food, drawing whatever comes to mind while listening to ‘new old’ music like some tracks by No Doubt, Jason Mraz, Bamboo and Taken by Cars that I missed hearing and watching funny snippets from the interwebs. I’m enjoying drawing especially on the virginal pages of my trusted Page One blank notebook. It’s pretty much the same old stuff, with random ink splatters and awkward water coloring, but whatever. Merely toned down, subtle freehand doodle madness… a huge jump from catharsis and still getting to that ‘high art’ I’m aiming for.
★ Everything’s been brilliant, the Powers have been kind to me thank gods, and I don’t feel wrung all day and all night like before although I don’t feel like I’m exactly reliable like now since laziness that gripped me along with the summer (the not-so-dreaded Summer Sickness) and I do feel I’m losing edge. I need a different kicker of some sort for myself, for my dulling edge and as much as I could write away about the possibilities of an epiphany, I’m setting off to find it. Or this bugging feeling may just be stemming out from the lack of reading I’ve been doing… It’s probably a sign from the Universe I should get back on that ravenous reader mode since Milord has recently added me in FB and the wave of nostalgia has been unbelievable seeing his name again. I suddenly miss setting records and challenging myself on how fast I can read at the same time consuming the whole work fully. Finishing ‘Armand’ by Anne Rice should take no longer than 3 days or 2, just before classes start.
★ Armand by Anne Rice – re-reading it again since I lost track of the feeling that gripped me and set the mood for going through the angel face’s life so I need to find it again.
★ Witching Hour by Anne Rice – this is so overdue because of summer duties and the horrid habit of procrastination, but I will finish get back to you so I can start on the Mayfair Witches chronicles.
★ Nine Stories by J.D Salinger – I love his style and his short stories are visceral triggers, poetic, profane and whisper a subtle lamentation at the same time celebrates life as it is. No pretentions of any sort.
★ Yesterday: FAILED TO ENROLL, though my mother doesn’t know this fact. Apparently my grades and most students’ grades are being withheld because of the delays of the submission of the thesis. We ended up just hanging around most of the day at the school catwalk and Jollibee, having those ‘this is why you’re my friend’ moments. Thank you Peppers, Raf, Pao and Jer and Brian for putting up with our weirdness laughing along, killing precious time :)
★ What if we had a night sky like this always, right Mac? ALAM NA haha! Pao and I have been effectively killing time together in an off-kilter kind of sense and I’m not complaining being whisked away. You see, when you put one wander boy and one wander girl together, Time is passing faster than it ever has, ever and we have the lamp posts, night skies, his car and the cement as our witnesses.
H A P P Y T H O U G H T S a. k .a T H I N G S I L O V E
♥ lying on parking lots for the first time, not having a care in the world ♥ cloud watching & discovering ewoks, monkeys that become tigers, octopuses & big splats of clouds that are huuuge faces ♥ orange lights ♥ that full feeling you get after eating ♥ my friends because they've been collectively extra funny, extra cool, extra cute & wonderful for the past few days ♥ weird but awesome facts you randomly come across (removing gag reflexes) ♥ FAIL moments ♥ WIN moments ♥ animes of the 90s ♥ overexcitement ♥ Jellyace ♥ Speculation about something that could be REALLY REALLY AWESOME ♥ making playlists in your head everyday ♥ surprise weirdness ♥ chocolate sundaes ♥ 1 liter of drinking water haha ♥ lightsaber duels ♥ being really jumpy for no apparent reason ♥ the perfect songs to describe an awesome moment ♥ running around & momentarily closing your eyes ♥ cold, rainy weather ♥ my mom being extra cool & extra loving of course ♥ the fulfillment of cleaning your dirty room! YES! ♥ Honesty ♥ Puck and Finn doing "Loser" by Beck in Glee = awesomeness
♥ really laughing at awkward moments (and no, it's not the awkward laugh) ♥ CHEESY UNEXPECTED BANATS (sobrang solid pa) ♥ people thinking you're 'little bit too much' on the cuckoo side but being appreciated for it ♥ singing Blink 182 songs in the most dramatic way while cleaning ♥ a friend thanking you for helping them feel better ♥ imagining a certain song that played in an epic moment that happened ♥ a smile so optimistic that it can cure cancer, courtesy of Jesse St. James ♥ the new McDonald's commercial: Come As You Are ♥ “Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness” -Allen Ginsberg ♥ Brit's one liners in Glee ♥ minty green nail polish ♥ TRUE BLOOD SEASON 3 ON JUNE 13! OHYESSSERICFTW ♥ tattoo art ♥ stopmotion Lego videos ♥ hand massages *the best* ♥ pretty much not noticing how time flies by ♥ being people that really make you happy ♥ Chernobyl child dance ohyessss ♥ Paul Bettany especially if he's really quirky and hyper and so English! damn ♥ Mr. Schu at his sexiest at Glee's "Funk" episode JEEZUS~ that man's ass demands to be tapped! TAPPED I SAY ♥ grocery shopping ♥ "SOMETIMES PLAN IT, BUT SOMETIMES WING IT ♥ nebulas ♥ seeing everyone I love being happy ♥ making plans with my high school friends ♥ hello there, wander buddy ♥
image from Photobucket.com
It’s that feeling when you hear your favorite song…that feeling whether you’re in a car or a party or alone at home in bed, and you hear the song and it hits you so strong…that’s sort of my favorite thing about music. - Julian Casablancas
★ Have a good week guys! HAPPY THOUGHTS!
June 3, 2010 | Wednesday
MUSIC: Logistical Nightmare - Taken by Cars
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ SUMMER PART II: SEEK & FIND ENDINGS OF A NEW KIND ♥
★ All this sunshine is making me dizzy, literally. So when the weather turned from scorching, painful massive waves that bite through your skin to the steel gray clouds forming overhead and obscuring the sun, you know there’s a god and he loves you. I’m usually under weather if the sun is up and about being merciless about illuminating every single surface area here in Manila, so fuck the weather because it ruins a perfectly good mood to be idle. Until now. This Summer Part II is unfolding itself for me like how Life should really be and it sparks up my unfeigned adoration for Life itself, magic lurking in the corners (or some people haha). Despite me being ratty about the weather, you can’t help but notice the frequency of the wonderful and the novelties of everyday—there’s a delight in its familiarity and flexibility. Even if involves mostly sitting in front of the computer looking through Facebook and other gazillion weird phenomenal shit on the internet such as the Sea Pig and the Hag Fish. *JEEZUS*~
★ Yesterday: And I ran after that invisible voice through the streets, the pavement, the ground so as not to lose sight of the splendid wreath of stars gliding over the city at night and you don’t know where to go. It was thrilling and everything was alive, distant and high and the marvel of consciousness that you are here and want nothing else. We are burning in time and in life, each of us consumed at his own speed. Hold your breath, let it build, let it go—let’s chomp on the sun and dance and sleep with the moon in our little Universe, out of precious breath. No room for whispered let downs, we are a thousand pieces of a dream coming together, gods at night. We have a million songs to listen to, yes, so thank the letters and I thank you. Time is passing faster than it ever has.
★ VADER CHUBBY IS TOO KYOT ♥
June 2, 2010 | Tuesday
MUSIC: Shapeshifter - Taken by Cars
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ THANK YOU ♥
★ The fulfillment of a flaming heartbreak and it’s so ironic I find such overwhelming relief and a strange comfort embracing me. The sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same and I know I’ve become crueler in your presence. But you were my little miracle. No complicated words; just a ‘thank you’ would suffice for everything that happened. This is not the only story we can tell, so be brave and I’ll be seeing you around.
May 27, 2010 | Thursday
MUSIC: Two Doves - The Dirty Porjectors
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ WANDERGIRL ♥
★ If God would hear a ringing in his ears, a declaration with one single voice rising above all others, one voice that could shake the ground, it would be me. It would be a voice that would make him pause, look back and wonder what was that sound. And that is if the perfect words were coming right, if they were spilling from the fullness of my being. These words, these I could not yet mention would be laid out by God himself and make him write them down like frantic writing on the chalkboard… like my words are flying to heaven and back on the backs of seraphs and birds and on light. Just for you. By god, they would help me and fuck them if they don’t, if they’ll settle like stone, like dust, I would do it myself and flood heaven with blood and tears. Love travels faster than light.
★ I will talk in hushed voices, whispers by that time. Something so beautiful more than prayers and poems, so beautiful and sudden that it would be as if Universes are breaking down and emerging from the rips on your skin where my breath has touched you. Until then these words are with me until I’m pushed, jump out of my gracelessness without any caution or safety nets. For some reason, this isn’t cutting it and I’m still falling, from where heaven and earth had no beginning, no end, no bottom or top— from infinity. Let me go somewhere, to you, of infinite worth.
★ There are just some days (and nights) where bits and pieces of me are going haywire and everything is off, for various reasons. And life makes you feel that once again, you can be too young to understand and know things, you are powerless and you are really, really confused – a civilian casualty of sorts. Trying to embrace the uncertainty of being somewhere out there chaotic, intense, breath-taking, off-kilter, turbulent and so beautiful but then being alone… Sometimes even if you have a serious case of the dreamer’s disease or wanderlust, there’s just this moment where unexpected heavy fear trickles down to your spine… the prospect of being abandoned or not having anyone for a travel buddy. This is me, talking slightly in metaphors as always. Okay Universe, lead me somewhere of infinite worth where I can be more fearless than most days. Thank you in advance! The night this happened made me ache surprisingly and made me long for a hug and to eat good ice cream while sitting on the street at night. Shinji Ikari moment :|
★ Slightly woken up by an imaginary splash of cold water on the face. Thank you for the random thought~ :D
★ I love you Lala, Peppers, Raffy and Don! They’re my silver lining… No, not just silver but GOLD, EPIC GOLD ♥ I missed them so much and yesterday I had a chance to see the new Pop Smear get together for their recording as their application for a competition and of course, simply for a “get-together”. I dragged Jerich along with me to keep him out of the house for a while and we were also with RJ, Pop Smear’s new drummer and Pep’s adorably cute 16-year-old cousin Jan (who has pretty hands btw). Everything with you people is a frenzied memory of bursting energy and helpless abandon of stress. I can always have a happy-smug face and jump for joy and have that internal reaction as epic as power plants bursting. Thank you always and forever ♥ HUG! :D
★ I'm off to find the Harley Quinn in me yet again. Will become that arsonist that has fire flickering in their eyes, reflecting of fervid passions and see buildings, lives, people as phoenixes that need me.
★ I'm also a girl who hates slick and pretty things and prefers mistakes and accidents and bruises. I'm filled with them. I'm not sad, I just like it rough sometimes. I bite if I like something.
May 24, 2010 | Monday
MUSIC: Anything You Want - Spoon
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ 1ST PICTURE ♥
★ ♥ Just because. It's so cool to use it in a public place. Taken yesterday when we visited Tay. Thank you BP for the added "tingkad" and general photo editing!
May 23, 2010 | Sunday
MUSIC: Tala - Paramita
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ I LOVE YOU ASTRID ♥
★ SUMMER HOSPITAL DUTIES ARE OVER! YOU WILL NOT BE MISSED! Also you will not be missed (in fact your memory will be kept in the recesses of my already cluttered mind) J fucking C fucking I. You were the bane of my Saturdays when it could be well-spent on something else like … anything else besides JCI and your complicated so-called manual. *bow*
★ What a slow Sunday. I’m feeling ansty about the weather as always and this is the worst heat wave ever.
★ Darling, there’s a place for us. Can we go there before I turn to dust? (Or before the both of us turn to dust?)
'But this,' exclaimed Ada, 'is certain, this is reality, this is pure fact—this forest, this moss, your hand, the ladybird on my leg, this cannot be taken away, can it? (it will, it was). This has all come together here, no matter how the paths twisted, and fooled each other, and got fouled up: they inevitably met here!’ “ – Ada or Ardor: A Family Chronicle by Vladimir Nabokov
★ This summer calls for precious time for me and my books. I want new books that wound me and stab me and wake me up with a blow on the head and affect me like a disaster, which give me the same effect as Nabokov or Gaiman’s works. By reading, I need to feel I can be banished into a forest far away from everyone; a book that’s like an axe for something frozen in me.
★ We always forget that something worthwhile is never easy. Take my course, for example. I’m already a senior and I’m dreading what’s after college. The days where you feel really bad, where a lot of things pile up on your head and those things are so difficult and higher than you, echoes. I’m still under it and days like this when the sun is not properly shining and the heat kills you as it seeps through your bones… Idle moments and Shinji moments converge into one, generally suck.
★ I’ve been sleeping a lot lately and my body clock’s so screwed that I fall asleep way too early or wake up too early. Last night, I was practicing epic lightsaber moves (which, come to think of it are not so epic, YET) at the living room. Sat on the sofa in front of the electric fan and closed my eyes momentarily. The next thing I know it was already 3 in the morning. And the feeling was like you just shut your eyes for a short moment and open them immediately. I didn’t even dream.
★ Speaking of dreams, I had a dream the other day. I was with some friends and we had an instant decision for a road trip that late afternoon and the destination was Pila, Laguna. In my dream I saw the tree house, the fields, the night sky (still vivid even in my dream) and everyone had their own ride and apparently I was driving also. We went a little further and we ended up in the ocean. Night swimming under a night sky that seems to crush you down and all around you was water and your friends. The last thing I remember was falling asleep on sand and I thought it was real ♥
May 16, 2010 | Sunday
MUSIC: Wonderwall - Oasis
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ RANDOM because THE OZONE LAYER IS DEPLETED ♥
Moon + Venus aligned tonight! (Picture via Google)
★ I think it would be cool if the planets did align anytime soon and something happens… which isn’t necessarily the end of the world but something that puts you in a good start. OHYES
★ Dreamers are having it tough lately. There’s not much comfort in this run down place, except for a few notable ones (mostly people and I love you guys for being there). Dreamers are being banished unfortunately to some unknown obscurity and dreaming is being removed from our language. I’m scared too, you know. I still want to dream with my head, heart and hands and whatever we do, we can’t be bored. Don’t be… because this is the perfect and absolutely most exciting time one could have possibly hoped to be alive. Things are just starting, for me, for you, for everyone and everything :D
★ The perfect words aren’t crossing my mind and I’m bursting at the seams. Bit by bit. It’s a good-bad thing. Time IS helping though. Sometimes it's not but maybe that's just me.
★ I miss the 90s and waking up early to watch good TV shows and cartoons and the simplicity of everything.
★ I just realized maybe we might as well pursue the things we care about deeply if we have to live with much uncertainty. HMMM
★ Cheese! Parmesan, mozzarella, Gouda and all the stickiness of it in the roof of my mouth and head… Oh dear, oh dear. I'm stuck in a daze but hey, you don't hear me complaining. That much at least :D
★ My books are calling out to me because of my disgusting neglect! 500 days of summer (literally, not the movie) where would you be? I want to feel full from reading! My books on the shelves are gathering dust and it hurts. They complain that I hold the JCI book more than them :|
★ Wonderwalls = People ♥ Amazing. Also the song itself. I'm on Oasis mode, thank you Pop Smear and I'm very excited for your cover of this song! This is like the song for my friends~
★ Good things come to those who wait. So while waiting, I'll enjoy eating so much awesome stuff like ice cream and Red Ribbon cakes and draw and draw and draw.
★ It's my youngest brother's birthday today! HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY KOKO POPPINS! As much as you suck so bad and so much almost every single day, thank you for being there when I need to let loose and go rabid. Yes, I know I still suck as an older sister, thank you ♥
★ Let me run somewhere so I can scream for relief and then smile about it because sometimes you just can't say or write anything and words seem to run out.
★ Are the Bilderburgers’ convening on some secret part of the world about the portentous night showcasing the crescent moon and the morning star? I do hope so. I’m imagining epic sand fights, temples, masked riders on camels and horses, spears, large hadron colliders weaponry blessed by Holy Water, death stars, the Pope and his soon-to-be Papal Nurse and Jerich somewhere under the heat of the sun overlooking history. We will make history! Jedi-style or any style for that matter. Let's bring the Crusades fight Kingdom-of-Heaven style! YES!
★ AFKJAGAJHSJAHSASHAOSUASINASKNANSANWAA~ :)) just because :D
May 16, 2010 | Sunday
MUSIC: Hands Open - Snow Patrol
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ MOVIE: KICK-ASS ♥
★ I watched Kick Ass with Jerich and Don a few days after the premiere and never got around posting the review I wrote immediately after. I cannot get over how seriously whacked this movie is and probably is the best new movie released this year, no doubt. Don, Jerich and I we’re the loudest ones in the cinema, laughing our asses off to ending the whole thing with a much deserved standing ovation (well… didn’t exactly stand but we did clap enough for everyone to hear).
★ Kick-Ass in its own way twists the superhero genre on its head and this isn’t your friendly neighborhood Spiderman we’re talking about. It’s so rare for a movie to surprise you on an outrageous, over-the-top level and in the smallest details that balance it all out and make a good transition; from the opening dive from the skyscraper by some random guy to that final rocket flight of the hero in the majestic city.
★ The plot revolves around characters converging on a common enemy. The film stars the young British actor Aaron Johnson (who Jer has the extreme hots for) as Dave, a geeky, American high school student and for this Aaron Johnson receives much applause for his quite convincing performance. For some reason, he breathes new life into the stereotyped character without being over-the-top dramatic, brooding and keeps it really cool and relatable for the audience—since majority of the movie audience I’m sure are tweens. So Dave, the awkward adolescent happens to be a comic book fan and comes to an epiphany where he questions why people don’t even try to be superheroes. You know, adapting the superhero lifestyle and strength that superheroes utilize to put a stop to the everyday violence that’s all around us. And besides, what’s at stake here is Dave’s self-confidence and sorta a self-intervention on finding out what it is to be himself as this superhero swimming in the pool of fear. This sparks a determination in Dave, who wears a costume ordered online and starts to fight crime by creating an alter ego “Kick Ass”, the epic “crime fighter” (or at least an attempted one). His first mission was to confront the neighborhood bullies, which ended up badly for him. It was a bad decision, but sparked up a good story: epic medical re-constructions that increased the metal content and pain tolerance of his body. Yup, just as Dave said in the movie, “LIKE WOLVERINE”.
★ We are eventually introduced to a second character played by veteran actor Nicholas Cage and he is called “Big Daddy” as another masked superhero of the city. And through him we are introduced to his daughter Mindy who goes by the moniker “Hit Girl” which is played by the lovely Chloe Moretz The thing here is that as much as adorable this Father-daughter tandem may be they are the real thing when it comes to kicking ass. Big Daddy is a darkly comic character, genius and psychotic who is willing to shoots his daughter in the name of education (and by education I mean weaponry and killing), calls her Baby Doll and drinks hot cocoa with her and gives epic balisongs as birthday gifts. Hit Girl, my personal idol and the epitome of everything I wanted to be when I was 8 years old, is intense with an angelic face with a happy attitude towards swearing, well-versed in heavy weaponry and she’s sweet and just fucking cute! ♥
★ Of course, where would our superheroes be without the villains of the story? Christopher Mintz-Plasse ( “McLovin” from the teen comedy SuperBad) plays Chris D’Amico a is geeky rich kid schoolmate of Dave and who goes by the name “Red Mist”. He ends up being Kick Ass’ arch enemy for reasons I would not spoil but the thing is that he is also the only son of the big mob boss played by a devious Mark Strong, who has connections to Big Daddy’s past. From here the plot goes a little bit off-kilter, a little bit cuckoo and a more so kick ass as it weaves the lives of the mask crusaders, mobsters, introverted friends, quirky bad guys and of course, young love as it escalates excitingly into ego versus ego and delicious vigilante revenge! ♥
★ The director should be proud; the movie is incredible to say the least. The film is well-paced and the story was delivered well. But I still have to remind everyone that this film is not everyone because of it’s Tarantino-esque violence and gore and one may get squeamish… but since it’s me and I particularly consider Tarantino as god, then it’s all good. It’s all so fucking good—a deceptive trick in the guise of a girl in a school girl uniform, online streaming videos of violent superhero whackness, explosive (literally) action scenes with strong fight choreography, the proper filtering of colors for the characters and set ups to make whatever needs to be emphasized pop up on screen… let’s not forget the dramatic jet packs, Gatling guns and bazookas and Elvis singing as the bloodshed goes on. Perfect execution! ♥ My heart cries for this epic beauty. RAWR~
★ BOTTOM LINE: SEE IT! It’s an anti-superhero fable that’s just awesome and made by people who really do understand the need to delve into a genre of movies, shake it up and re-invent the usual conventions and it’s effective as hell. The thing I find interesting and brings the movie closer to heart is that the characters have redeeming qualities that make you relate to their plight. They’re not invincible superheroes with actual powers; just regular people who found the superhero within themselves by being motivated to take out their personal villains and demons by the circumstances that surround their lives. And the best thing about that is that they were able to own it.
May 15, 2010 | Saturday
MUSIC: Chocolate - Snow Patrol
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ The Lightsaber Chronicles: May 10 2010 ♥
AYUN OH AYUN OHHHHHHHHH~! ♥ ♥ ♥
yes, it did come with that yucky red-white plastic that made it look it it's from DV (no offense) haha
★ Last Monday, Pao accompanied me to purchase my light saber and we let Raffy come along to discover the wonders of the Wonder Emporium in Greenhills a.k.a the Black Market. I’m glad we decided to have it during the late afternoon since the summer weather has been intensely fucked up and the humidity drives me crazy to tears and considering we were going to a place that’s most likely crowded… The late afternoon weather was drowsy but it left me very happy and hopeful and when you were with the right people to spend it with and there was absolutely no wrong that could happen on that day itself.
★ WAAAAA! The light saber purchase was a success and I got the Force Action Light Saber replica of Darth Vader by Hasbro!♥ Pao said he thinks it was pretty meant to be since no one bought the Vader one (he was the one who found it a week ago and it was accompanied by Mace Windu’s and apparently the Mace Windu one was bought). JEEZUS, I pretty much geeked myself out there especially when I found out that I could purchase it and it’s basically an understatement that all geeks should own a light saber. It was pretty much your own personal Excalibur or Zanpakuto and probably is the most elegant and civilized weapon of all time ♥ We wanted to test it out and though we had a little trouble with removing it from the box, but hell, it works beautifully! From that point on, I was pretty much giddy that pao and Raffy told me that the happy-Riza-aura filled the whole store, which I think was pretty much the case because how can you not burst with happy energy that could kill cancer when you have it in your hands? They said there should be a picture of that singular moment of brimming happiness as I hugged/carried the lightsaber and made our way out. It was pretty much worth it.
★ Yes, it is a given being a Star Wars fan that you have to own one and always carry one. I was thinking about it the whole afternoon as we strolled around and let Raffy ogle around. A lightsaber is that physical presentation of extreme confidence and your confidence as a “skillful warrior” pretty much translates while you wield it. And chances are, there’s someone else carrying a lightsaber and what else is better than an impromptu lightsaber fight? Random lightsaber fights are always a good idea, no matter how funny and awkward the fighting maybe, whether you’re a beginner or a seasoned warrior.
★ Years back I was just this kid who watched Star Wars on VHS using flashlights as a lightsaber and getting something close to the real thing, it definitely sparked up an internal reaction, a type of rabid emotional response which left me with a happy-smug face the whole day (Pao and Raffy can attest to that). It pretty much felt like a visceral trigger like I'm a rocket-blasting into the not-so-final frontier, high on ice cream, ready to be in the next sci-fi film Noir movie ♥ I've never been this excited since receiving my own copy of the Resistance by Muse.
★ It was the mall’s closing time and before heading home, we settled at the top floor of that carpark building. Parking lots, I realized, we’re perfect spots for anything. No one was out there; it was only Dilim (Pao’s car) and two other cars. Streets shone, blue and white lights shone on the narrow crisscross streets, orange lights from the lamps on the parking lot reflecting on the small puddles… like lurid orange suns, spinning orange cocoons against the blackness of the night. We talked and while they stood still, I settled for twirling around, trying on my newly acquired weapon. It was perfect but I wasn’t the perfect one to wield such… for now. My wrists and coordination need practice. Nevertheless it was perfect and overwhelming and god, I’ve been having so much fun that it literally jumped, spun and ran around till I was breathless (my companion termed it ‘cute na magaslaw’ or something like that). But it was pure happy core and feeling breathless for something that makes you happy is a good happy thought and feeling to keep ♥ Thank you Raf & Pao for being part of my happy day :D
★ Good start for the week. I remember playing around the plaza at Pila when we had our immersion and I miss playing ‘tag’. I’ve yet to come up with a name for my baby since I don’t think I’m settling for her (yes, it's a SHE) name temporary name ‘Milagros’ haha~
LEGO WALLETS! ♥ haha 8D too kyot~
May 9, 2010 | Sunday
MUSIC: Caught Up In You - .38 Special
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ MOTHER'S DAY ♥
Nay,
Apparently, you never expected your daughter to grow up this way. Some other daughters of the other mothers out there would prefer to wear skirts, cook, bake, like pink and a whole lot of happy colors, have a parade of boys, go to the beach with a two piece and get your nails done with you. You have a daughter, who enjoys rock music, prefers sneakers over heels, draws idly and talks about conspiracy theories about human cloning, the apocalypse during dinner time and convinces you that she will become a nurse of the Pope at the same time a world explorer. You were the traditional wholesome mother and yes my quirks ticked you off but I love the day you told me years ago “You’re weird but I love you so much”. You never forced anything on me... well, except this nursing thing but I'M DOING THIS ALL FOR YOU (and Tay of course). Every single day of my schooling life, you made an effort to take me to school and be a part of me and it was always the best thing even now to have you fetch me from school and kiss me, even if you were sick. You’re always the best kind of person to see at the end of my day.
Of course there are times that I don’t get you. You talk too much, it’s hurting my ear and sometimes you say nothing at all and I hate it when you don’t even look at me. But I love you; you’re the only person whom I can be the best and the worst and I have no fear that you will not accept and love me without conditions. Thank you for being proud of me, in a way being a number one fan, even though I’m such a klutz and mess things up most of the time (and that cost you your tears… and money). You’re the only person I believe whenever you say everything is going to be fine. My heart shattered to see you so broken when Tay died and it was my turn to tell you everything would be alright and it was so hard to be strong for you. Nay, I know perfectly I have not been the perfect child but you always make me feel that I am perfect in your eyes and in your heart. I can never be any luckier than anyone out there with you as my mother.
Lately you’ve been telling me about the prospects of me leaving and having a life of my own and how time flies by so quickly and tell me that you’re ready when the time comes. I hate it when you say that because I know I will never be prepared for that day and I’ll always be here even if you don’t want me or not. But I’ll always, always want and need you. I will always be your little Joy and I’ll return to you wherever in the corner of the world I may be. I LOVE YOU~
May 4, 2010 | Tuesday
MUSIC: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker - Ramones
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
♥ THINGS I LOVE ♥
♥ I happened to draw something a few days ago. My new drawing notebook (bought by a nice Pao): the page was a virginal cream color and in a few minutes time, coming straight from school and stomach on my bed, I filled with doodles of a girl and a complicated mess of mechanical apparatuses sticking out of her. Hmm, metal on such sweet flesh and if I could only color and give life to it. It was a voluptuous little thing with a disarray of loose screws and other metal items. A botched rape of another page successfully executed. Will post pictures soon. A promise to myself: draw everyday. I will get better than this, I swear! ♥
♥ How awesome things and people come along in your life and you don't even ask for it ♥ Caramel the fat cat that looks like Puss in Boots in Shrek 3 ♥ Realizing my personal strength and integrity ♥ late night conversations with the people you're fond of ♥ POP SMEAR: talented lovely, lovely boys who are my friends and unbiological brothers and the fact that they love me too as much as I love them so much! My week would not be complete without seeing them and I miss them a lot lately ♥ the fact that I lived through hell that is OSMUN ER and the person who is in-charge of us there ♥ my mother because she always gives me the best chocolate chip cookies when I'm stressed ♥ RED BULL: it works wonders ♥ much deserved undisturbed sleep after a week of toxic fucking hell ♥ J.D Salinger -- I'm reading his "Nine Stories" and I have my eye on Franny and Zooey next time ♥
♥ 90s music: you cannot deny how good it was even them boybands! (and Hilary Duff, right Jer? haah) ♥ ice cream on a scorching hot day such as this ♥ those days where your hair looks really great ♥ HAPPY MEALS! I wish the Happy Meal boxes would make a comeback coz that would be so epic and I would get one, no joke! ♥ Glee ♥ random compositions by my friends after school hours ♥ TAMBAY MODE ♥ TOY STORES because they're a simple pleasure I cannot deny myself and it satisfies my Inner Child ♥ Kuya Jobert ♥ songs that exactly describe what you're feeling at the moment ♥ GODFATHER OF MY SON haha ORANGE MOTHER! ♥ boys who play the guitar, ohyes ♥ Sunday lunch at the cemetary with Tatay and the family ♥ The feeling that you’re terribly happy and nervous at the same time ♥ Imagining my future kids being equally geeky as me: toting light sabers and feeding them graphic novels with the Hit Girl spunk ♥ strawberry banana Blizzards at DQ ♥
♥ KICK ASS: go watch it for the love of everything awesome because you will not regret it I tell you. It's a comical violent stylistic massacre to it with hints of Frank Miller-esque scene panelling and the Tarantino magic of black comedy violence ♥ writing random letters to my school friends and sneaking them in random places for them to find it ♥ Vampire Weekend's latest album CONTRA ♥ never giving up on the things that make you smile ♥ BAD DECISIONS = GREAT STORIES ♥ Insanely good weather ♥ very, very nice relatives of your patients at the hospital ♥ liking someone so unexpectedly ♥ downloading new old music ♥ effortless little things that occupy a big space in your heart ♥ MY BED! as a student nurse, sleep is a luxury I believe ♥ when your week starts out right and you were with the people you want to be with ♥ Nutella, one of the best concoctions since antispetics ♥ inside jokes ♥ the bursting feeling you get and you just want to scream mad outside of your house but instead you just scream at your pillow and it feels good ♥ lazy days ♥ tangled up nostalgia ♥ Jerich and his skills in Pathophysiology ♥
♥ the right book or the right movie that can sympathize with you when your friends can't ♥ sweet, sentimental, romantic stuff that makes me grow a heart (hahaha) ♥ IRON MAN 2: damn, the force of the impacts and epic lasers and mini LHCs just did it for me sorta like a visual representation of how the previous week was but DAMN SCARLET JO, my inordinate lesbian tendencies cannot be quelled by your hotness ♥ the whole day out with Don, Raffy, Peps, Larissa and Pao ♥ night driving ♥ NOT GETTING INTO TROUBLE! ♥ getting lost with someone who also feels that you shouldn't go home because you don't want to face reality or our parents' faces because it's really late at night
May 2, 2010 | Thursday
MUSIC: Be My Escape - Relient K
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
Random thoughts for today:
★ I fantasize about not telling anyone and going off to some random place. And I’d just disappear and they’d never see me again.
★ It’s one of those days that you realize you want to be the one being cared for, for a change. No, let me rephrase it. It’s one of those MANY days that you realize you are the one who needs to be cared for, for a change. My cup is not brimming with happiness.
★ I am the first step waiting to be taken. I am the fear but I am the courage. I am the waiting, the waiting, the waiting. I am the glass half full. I am the unspoken understanding… I am the arms raised in victory; I am the hands holding my head in defeat. I am the moment of clarity… I am the words I scribble. I am the lips unkissed, my hands not held. I am the lyrics. I am the failure, I am the ambition.
★ According to Sofia Coppola’s “Lost in Translation”, everyone wants to be found. Well, then I want you to find me.
★ Can I go to Pandora now? HAHA
★ "People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality, their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel?” » Jim Morrison (fuck SAPUL)
★ The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper. »W.B. Yeats
★ Maybe not now, but someday soon. Very soon, yes.
★ I don't know what I want. But I don't want this.
★ Futures with flaming heartbreaks, vodka, Pocky, the death of us, you and me. How sadly colorful.
April 22, 2010 | Thursday
MUSIC: Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
Random thoughts for today:
★ Cesarean sections are fast, efficient and mind blowing. First exposure to the operating room, first operating room case and it’s a major one and first time as a scrub nurse. The only thing that ticks me off is how lame I was when I was being quizzed on by the doctors. My mind went totally blank at the unexpected oral quiz on the operating table. How the heck was I supposed to answer the question on the different layers of skin when I was busy holding the bladder retractor and the surgeon was searching the mother’s open uterus like a magic hat looking for the baby? And my clinical instructor was right behind me the whole time. Tested and proven yet again: I am totally graceless under pressure. I SUCK!
★ The same love that makes me laugh, makes me cry.
★ I want to eat as much lasagna as humanly possible.
★I’ll break the sky for you and I are going nowhere.
★ No matter how hard I try to manage my time, I always end up cramming for shit. Essays are alright but if you have 4 to do with each paragraph ideally consisting of 250 words and it’s all about medical and surgical concerns, I run out of words and the eagerness to work on it. I could go on about Nazi Germany, Perrault’s tales and ‘ultra-violence’ in Tarantino’s movies but this… !
★ I blab on too much even if I’m writing. I wonder if that habit is becoming good or not.
★ Strangely, all I want right now or anytime soon, is to have a moment with someone where we can say at THAT single moment is “we are infinite”. Where are you? Any takers?
★ FUCK YOU JEJEMONS! Its evil foul clutches has reached my youngest brother and it’s eating him alive. I, on the other hand, watch in mad and delight in horror in the corner of my room as he converses online with some low life form of language that’s totally causing faulty English grammar. I writhe in pain.
★ Still, I miss my father and I hate it when a patient is admitted and has cardiac arrest. It always reminds me of that fucking day and my stomach goes in knots. If life had an ‘undo’ button, I would press it just for that memory to not happen. Ever.
★ The other day, I was thinking about this and some random KESO thought came into mind: I want to be like a gunshot, brazing and piericing the walls of your consciousness. Something that gets you every time. I would love to be like that instant and piercing to someone and I do hope whoever that someone could be would feel that same way towards me. KESO!
★ N313 Group B Cluster 1 was talking about how our kids will be in the future. For sure, I definitely want to have a kid and they were telling me I would be more like my mom if ever I was a mother—extremely perky but with psycho fits. My eldest daughter would have the spunk of Hit Girl and they told me my daughter would be more of a Wednesday Addams in terms of ‘playing’ (headless Marie Antoinette dolls?). The vision was that R would be a mother who takes her kids to toy conventions and other events of the sorts, where she dresses them up as mini Storm Troopers and little Vaders. They will be well-read on mythology by Grade 1 and their favorite holiday is Halloween.
★ FUCK. Duty schedule sucks so bad.
★ I think my heart just died. In a bad way. Being hollow surprisingly hurts.
April 21, 2010 | Wednesday
MUSIC: Overthinking - Relient K
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
MOVIE: AVATAR
★ James Cameron’s (of the ‘Titanic’ fame) film Avatar received quite the hype when it was released here in the Philippines. Yours truly was completely oblivious of the release and even when I eventually knew about it and someone invited me to watch it in 3D, I paid no attention or whatsoever. At the time I was gloating in some form of misery which was school. Looking at it now, I was pretty much disappointed at myself for the pathetic show of effort to go to the movies and see this film. I REGRET IT!
★ Since its release, it was receiving all this hype that Cameron’s film is said to ‘change the total perspective of filmmaking’ and it showcases pioneering technology that will change the way science fiction films are made in the future and all that high-brow stuff. I was pretty skeptical until I got a chance to watch it last week (not in 3D unfortunately). What can I say? It was a spectacular piece of visual magnum opus. And I'm fucking serious. Cameron's latest film makes it into my All Time Movie Favorites list.
★ Jake Sully (played by a brilliant Sam Worthington) is an ex-marine who had someone “blew a hole in his life”: suffers a spinal cord injury, he can’t walk and his life is basically going nowhere. This dude gets a chance at life by taking the place of his dead twin brother who is supposed to go to the far-off alien planet Pandora, where he will be controlling a genetically engineered “avatar”. The “avatar” which is made of alien DNA and synched with its controller’s DNA, allows Jake to walk among the 10-foot natives of Pandora, who are called the Na’Vi. Since Jake is a ‘warrior’ (given his ex-marine background’) like the Na’Vi people, he is found to be acceptable among their ranks and is allowed to 'learn their ways'. However, what he doesn’t tell that Na’Vi tribespeople is that he knows that his fellow Sky People (humans) who are running the Project Pandora operation are preparing to relocate the Na’Vi (with the use of brutal force) to get a rich supply of a rare and valuable substance called Unobtanium.
★ Cameron is criticized for his storyline, saying how ‘clichéd’ is was and I have to admit his story behind Avatar is all too familiar for me as I have read many SF novellas and stories that echo environmentalism, colonialism (humans vs. alien) and a whole lotta alien romance with a bit of existentialism thrown in the bag. BUT, this does not mean that Avatar has a bad story. Despite being a derivative of the archetypes and others past, I love a movie with a good story and Avatar delivers this beautifully, with scenes (despite being semi-predictable) that convey plenty of emotions and the immensity of these is well played by the characters. The story is fairly strong, moving and you can’t help but be with Jake or BE Jake to experience falling in love the excitement, the unknown, the adventure and the nobility. It definitely feels magical and transformative.
★ The visuals were revolutionary, to say the least. I watched the movie on my pathetic computer screen but it was better than anything—ever. It was surprisingly vibrant and lush and it was as if it can be etched on your mind. I believe Cameron waited just for the right time for the film making technology to mature just enough to render and to be able to see the vision he was seeing. Pandora is heart breakingly gorgeous and this alien planet filled with spectacular and uber pretty flaura and fauna and the landscape and its epic biodiversity IS MY escapist fantasy and I’m in awe with my jaw dropped. The colors are unrivalled by any film I’ve seen so far. And of course… EPIC BANSHEE FLIGHTS FOR THE WIN! ♥
★ The movie is not without flaws: Unobtanium—I mean srsly, guys, if you were able to think about the Na’Vi language at least have an exotic name for this! And the dialogue between the humans feels a slight bit restrictive to me and the Evil is there yes, but I want a believable tangible villain with the force that is equally epic as the battle that was waged in the Pandoran plains and skies. yes the story is overdone plenty and it presents the usual SF archetypes. But it didn’t matter to me that much honestly. I was busy goofing about how stunning it was after watching it.
★ My ♥ goes to Sam Worthington. He is a brilliant lead character, showing how it is done to transform into a cynical wise ass man to a true noble warrior. He doesn’t try hard and does not overplay it! You get that pretty laid-back and down-to-earth human appeal from him with a strong convincing sense of naivety, wonder and willpower in embracing an alien culture and being how humans are. He brought the movie together, as far as I’m concerned.
★Avatar = a massive load of visual eye candy I love it to bits and I didn’t even expect to like it that much and I have to admit I was rooting for some JEKSULLEH & NEYTIRI love. Btw, Neytiri is unexpectedly charming and ... loveable! HAHA~ Avatar is definitely my escapist fantasy and it has caught up with my dreamer’s disease. ♥ I wish it was as accessible to me as SM Megamall is especially when I feel really pissed and having my traveler’s fits. I don’t know… I just want my own banshee and Thanator, okay? And go there and be lost there and just forget everything. Can we go there now? but the bottom line is that movie made me very, very happy~
★ Thank you, Mark Paolo Valerio Belleza! Eto na yung hinihintay mong review and this is for you (along with other Avatar lovers)~
★ Now, let me get back on my semi-sad life of the tedious job of school and the ♥ that is dying. OOOH BUT WAIT! There’s another coming movie review because of the epicness we (Jerich, Don and I) have seen yesterday and it definitely… Kicked ass.
April 15, 2010 | Thursday
MUSIC: It's My Life/ Confessions Part II - Glee Cast
BOOK: The Witching Hour - A. Rice
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!”
— C.S. Lewis
★ Me, Jerich, Paolo and Nicole = the SABOGS. I find it incredibly amusing how Facebook can be an extension of live conversations and be an instrument of those nights (and days) of kulitan, which make you LOL literally in front of the computer screen. Jerich of course is my soul sibling and my classmate Nicole is the anti-girl (whom I thought was a snob but ends up to be more cuckoo than most) and Pao and I we’re initially just ‘Facebook friends’ which was triggered when discovered each other’s lust for toys. It started with Jerich, Paolo and I flooding and conversing at the comment boxes (hindi kami gumagamit ng chat! OO KASI COOL KAMI!) and it exploded into something epic. I’m not complaining and I’m glad it’s happening. I’m staying up late for the extra LOLs I get from this because summer nights inside the humid house are too boring. And because summer part 1 ended officially today (fuck them o layp o layp~) and we won’t be getting much internet time together—BOO! I’m so amused that it’s mostly their names (or my thread with their comments) that’s on the Top News of my Facebook page ♥ Look, I placed a heart just because. (oh yeah we also had a hearts stage but it only lasted for one night so…) ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
★Our cheese thread:
★ “I think I'm a bad player.... because I keep on missing you” – Riza
★ “Riza, minsan hindi ko alam kung bakit kelangan itago natin yung nararamandaman natin eh. bakit ba natin kelangan itago yung feelings natin sa mga pick up lines? kaya naman natin siguro sabihin. ipagmalaki sa mundo na OO MAHAL KITA. OO MAHAL MO RIN AKO! AT OO WALANG MAKAKAHIGIT PA SA PAG MAMAHALAN NATING DALAWA. KAMI NA NI RIZA EMBUSCADO. NAGMAMAHALAN KAMI. TAKOT KAYO?” – Nicole
★ “Kapag ako may tindahan, lahat ng tao bebentahan ko ng mura, sayo lang hindi. Dahil sayo lang ako magmamahal” – Pao
★ “AKO DIN! pao, magmahaan din tayo. ako boy ikaw girl!!!!!!! :)) joke!!!" – Jerich
★From our other shit:
★ “HINDI AKO CHURCH BOY! PARANG NARSING LANG TO! LAHAT SAPILITAN!” – Pao, when he was taken away from us to Church camp during Holy Week (haha benta to, parang kung naguusapan kami ng harapharapan sumigaw na siya)
★ “HINDI AKO NAGDRIDRIVE TAKTE. ANO AKO LALAKE? ~parang reaction mo sa pagtawag ko sayo sa church boy. I just watch. And I dont stay long. ano naman gagawin ko dun?” – Jerich on being whisked away to drag races
★ “lightsaber is sorta like excalibur. can't take it out of the rock. kasi in this case, the rock is "peter" which is god's rock and... apparently mr. belleza is within one of the "rocks" of god which is god camp hahaha” – Riza on lightsabers and God camp (jeezus, I just realized WTF this was)
★ “wala na kong ibang masabi kundi FUCK THIS FUCKING WEEK. kaya 3 days eh hindi naman kasi namin inaackmowledge tong mga araw na to.” – poor Pao going crazy on church camp
★ “Burger Patty: tangina niyo, siga ako :)) takot ka? Pitbull toh (I miss nicole) hahahahhahaha!Burger Buns and the other ingredients: WE ARE SLAAAAAAVES!!!! (Pain and Panic, Disney Hercules voice)” – Jerich on fasting (worthless slaaaaaaaaaaves)
★… MADAME PAAAAA~ Let's not get into our extremely perv threads (which is awesome and equally hilarious btw but NSFW) I love our threads. Re-reading them is one of the best things to get me in a happier mood lately (and I'm gonna need that for the extremely toxic environment of 5 days of hospital duty).
★ Going to Greenhills for toy-window-shopping with them a while ago was brilliant. Pao directed us through the hustle and bustle of the busy 'Black Market' where we found places that are actual threats to my savings! They're good (and new) company all around. They rob me of my time, but they do not rob me of life itself and that's how it should be ♥
