ARISFAEL :: LAYOUT_____________
Welcome to ARISFAEL, the blog of yours truly the Abyssinian. This is my home for my daily rants and raves about life and the likes. You are currenly viewing version 13 titled the "Ancient Joy of a Book". I love this layout. It's simple and nice, the things that I want my life to be. It's nice. It's a actually a secret tribute to ... Anyway, I did not make this because I'm too lazy to make one and I don't have the time. Please enjoy! Do leave a comment or a message if you want. Feel free to do so. XD
ABYSSINIAN :: WEBMISTRESS___
Name: Riza
Age: 15 going on 5
School: SPCP, Por-Tu
Said to be a: Sick sweet little girl
Occupation: Student, professional slacker, introverted extrovert, artist and dreamer.
YM: abyssinian_acolyte
LJ: stroberi_arisa
LIKES :: INTERESTS_______________
Blue. Black. Red. White. Purple. Cross motifs. Roses. Cats. John Malkovich. Johnny Depp. Keanu Reeves. Anime. Prince of Tennis. Weiss Kreuz. Evangelion. Bleach. Fruits Basket. Vision of Escaflowne. Great Teacher Onizuka. Gun Slinger Girl. Witch Hunter Robin. Amon. Tezuka Kunimitsu. Ryouma Echizen. Urahara. Shigure Souma. Hatori Souma. Aya Fujimiya. Van Fanel. Dilandau. Jrock.. GLAY <3. L'Arc~en~ciel <3. Dir En Grey <3. Malice Mizer <3. Gackt. Kaggra. X-Japan. Moi Dix Mois. Janne De Arc. Miyavi. Emo. Classical music. Gothic music. Acoustic music. The Beatles. Matchbox 20. Michelle Branch. Vanessa Carlton. Tori Amos. Nickelback. Maksim.
Coldplay. Incubus. Keane. The Cure. Smashing Pumpkins. The White Stripes. Mayonaise. Sandwich. 6cyclemind. The Late Isabel. Sponge Cola. Imago. Bamboo. Eraserheads. Rivermaya. J-pop. Hikaru Utada. Johnny's Juniors. TxT. Ayumi Hamasaki. BoA. Do As Infinity. Orange Range. Asian Kung Fu Generation. 175R. Cakes. Bananas. Candies. Strawberry. Pudding. Food. TV. Mangas. Library. Poems. Edgar Allan Poe. James Joyce. Stephen King. Neil Gaiman. Anne Rice. Vladimir Nabokov. Classical writers <3
BLOGS ::
FRIENDS__________________
+ Ama + Ama
(Deviant Art)
+ Bet + Bet (Deviant
Art)
+ Baru
+Chr
is
+ Iris
+
Kimi-okaasan
+ Krinkle +Krinkle
(Deviant Art)
+ My
+
Claire
+ Gail
+
Val
+
Leslie
+
Jean
+
Steph
+
Kim
+ Ate
Ana
+ Ate
Mic (Deviant Art)
+ Master Wilson
(Deviant Art)
+
Shin-oniisama
+
Kuya Harvey (Deviant Art)
+ Kuya
Stephen (Deviant Art)
+ Kuya
Lui (Deviant Art)
+ Kuya
Katana
+ Kuya Pedz
+ Liset
+
Sonar
+
Roy
+ Ate Cece
+
Otonapoi
+Miyuchi<
br>
LINKS :: STUFFS__________________
+ Archives
-I'm stuck in an elevator with
Tatsuya Ueda
- ©Toma Ikuta©
is my
Sweet Valentine
+
Strawberries and Roses
+GLAY Official
Site
+ WOWOW's
GLAY site
+ L'Arc~en~ciel
(Fan Site)
+ Cosplayer's
World
+ St. Paul College
Pasig
+ Master Neil
Gaiman
+Toma
Ikuta
+Milk
White: Junnosuke Taguchi
+Tsubasa Imai
fansite
+ NHK World
+Anipike
+ MUSIC@
+Pocky Fan
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The picture of the children was provided by Intertia Stock Xchng.
March 19 2006 @ 6:05 pm
Music: Way of Difference y GLAY
Koi for the day: XD
I can't believe I'm a high school graduate now O___O OMFG
Congratulations to me *pats own back* and to my loved batchmates :)
I cried at Monse's speech, especially the part when she started crying and then most of us in our row cried as well.
I love batch06. We are not the perfect nor the best. We are simply... Batch 06. The last of the Golden Era of SPCP. I love my friends :) You all know who you are and I will miss us being students in SPCP. I love you all and I will see you all very soon. Group B for Bibo, benta, bersatayl and best, thanks for the laughs! Wohoo~
I'm already missing the school >_< I was dissapointed actually. Promise breaker. But, I am relieved and happy to be able to survive and graduate :) Graduation songs from:
Maroon 5: Sunday Morning
GLAY: Beloved, Be With You, Sotsugyou Made, Ato Sukoshi (Just a Little Longer 'Til Graduation), Way of Difference
L'Arc~en~ciel: Driver's High, Jiyuu E no Shotai, New World
Dir En Grey: Aint Afraid to Die
Five for Fighting: 100 Years
XD Meron pa yan. Just can't think of a song right now.
I'm happy for myself. But a little disspaointed a while ago >_< Well anyway, off to face new heights!
Où vous étiez ? Oui, je prévois parce que vous êtes comptés être là-bas parce que vous faites partie des mentors qui sont très important à moi. Vous n'a pas d'idée combien il blesse pour moi, votre étudiant, vous avoir me voit que marche l'étape, recevoir mon diplôme et obtenir ma médaille et a mon nom appelé. Où vous étiez ? Il me blesse et je vous attendais avec impatience quand tout le monde a commencé entrer et quand je vois vous n'étiez pas là-bas, je m'ai dit vous seriez en retard. Mais alors, où vous étiez ?
“Je vous verrai dimanche alors” vous avez dit et alors j'ai dit bien sûr, je ferai le plus sans aucun doute vous voit et où vous étiez ? Vous avez cassé une autre promesse, juste comme le repos et cette fois, je n'ai pas profité de votre promesse cassée. Il blesse beaucoup en fait, ne pas vous avoir sur que le jour important.
Mais d'autre part, qui j'est d'avoir vous fait l'apparence pour moi ? Je ne comprends pas juste pourquoi que vous ne pouvez pas aller ce jour. Oui, je suis égoïste maintenant quand je dois considérer ce que pourrait être arrivé mais alors, c'était un une fois dans une chose à vie ! Vous n'êtes pas allumé mon jour de remise des diplômes et j'étais la blessure, si vous avez su seulement.
Je suis très déçu dans vous, mon cher. Je suis juste la blessure.
March 12 2006 @ 12:23 pm
Music: Dv by Cambio
Koi for the day: XD
I just got back from Abish’s house last night from our sleepover. We watched “Underclassman” last Friday night and I was with Val, Elmo, She and Christine. We were laughing our asses in the movie house because of Nick Cannon’s in your face attitude and freaky moments and we were making jokes about Shawn Ashmore’s character and the lead actor’s character, saying that “they’re already” dating, a proof that Brokeback influence still lingered in the consciousness. I never knew that indulging in freshly cooked sushi while watching movies was bliss. It was quite a surprise when we met Ate Carla from FC and she was working at 2RATS that day when we passed by there to look for BLEACH merchandise. She started talking to us and said she recognized Elmo and me from past conventions and a much formal introduction was given and we exchanged contact numbers and invited us at a con at PUP. Although I did miss going to other conventions, I couldn’t go because it’s the day before our graduation day. And I’m expecting I’d really be depressed and not in the mood that day.
Tekken is highly recommended for your usual night bangag moments. Haha. When we came at Abish’s house, we were greeted by pork barbecue and chicken barbecue and shiitake mushrooms for their family dinner. And the laughing ensued once we entered her room and played Tekken and Fatal Frame and watched “Dark Shell” care of She (evil grin) in which we gaped and laughed and stared for 30 minutes in the TV with “aha” looks though it was terribly grotesque because of it’s high graphic rating. And moved on with Howl’s Moving Castle where I cried at the ending because I was really… uh, touched by Sophie and Howl’s love story and shared musings about the book and how it was different at several points (like how Markl wasn’t supposed to be Markl but Michael in the book).
The next day was fun and then I learned I talk in my sleep that night (I was mumbling according to Val) and magulo ako matulog (I was attempting to hug her). How embarrassing! I was the second to the last to wake up and I was really freezing because of the morning air and the air con in Abish’s room. We didn’t go down immediately for breakfast because we played Tekken first to wake us up followed by Fatal Frame. Ah, it was freaky. Great shock factor and we were screaming and Abish’s younger brother, Kuya Arvin was there with us and we watched him play. Haha. He was adorable and we all thought so because he was so quiet and he looked nice. Haha. Then it was followed by a BLEACH marathon were we swooned over our bishies (I swooned and squealed for Urahara-love) though looking back it was embarrassing as well because Abish’s younger brother was there with us watching (he must’ve kept quiet because he was freaked out by a bunch of fan girl’s in his sister’s room, which rarely happens). Ate lunch then watched “The Maid” and then played Tekken again. Christine left early that morning while She went home that late afternoon where we saw her bish Spanish step-dad and her adorable and soon to be bish baby brother Joaquin.
TEKKEN! We didn’t play Resident Evil 4 though. But Tekken was fun and Abish’s youngest brother Austin (who I think is the same age as my younger brother) showed us the character’s movies (ah LEE IS SO GAY!!!!!!!!!!!). Abish said we were fun to watch because we were so excited and noisily cussing when we play Tekken, something she only does while she plays with her brothers and it was fun she has companions while she does this. Tsssss… Hopefully, there would be more sleepovers like that. (Anna’s bitch slap rules! Ohohoho!) And I also think that their house was never as noisy for the past two days because of our presence. It was insane. Very insane.
Went to mass again and I was thinking about religion again. A seatmate told me she was faithful but she doesn’t go to mass while me, I go to mass though I am not faithful. I’m not a faithful person nor religious I admit and starting to question and find loopholes in the church and because I debated at my mom because of this, she told me I was like a borderline atheist now. Fine, I am. I just think that there’s someone up there and it’s not really the Holy Trinity or whatever but there’s a God or a Divine unknown up there.
I need to rest and go to Megamall. I have to get the thesis ring bind. Perhaps go to the NBS warehouse or something.
March 08 2006 @ 8:23 pm
Music:
Koi for the day: STFN
BAT NAG EEROR SA LJ??/??????
March 07 2006 @ 7:53 pm
Music: Anino by Imago
Koi for the day: STFN
She already knows my secret obsession regarding STFN and was giving to me the happy, all-knowing grin like a certain person I know. Haha XD She saw the essay I wrote about STFN in my journal during the grad practices (it was embrassing because it was so retarded, chessy and... uh, delirium induced if one should say) and it was pretty embarassing but then it was okay because I trusted. She had an idea even before she read it and was just waiting a confirmation from me :) Forgive me, I swear, if I end up blushing once you thoroughly describe Herr Lord to me in your own way. I couldn't prevent it!
8 MORE DAYS TILL GRADUATION The anxiety just keep getting bigger and bigger.
Ah, kelangan ko nang mag-hanap ng trabaho! Part-time job ang kailangan ko sa ngayon. Hindi ako katulad ng mga rich kids dyan sa tabi-tabi (tulad ng ibang tao sa aming eskwelahan) at sa ngayon ako'y nangangapa sa pera. Ayoko na kasing umasa na lang sa magulang ko para sa pera at grabe, ako'y isang batang marami gusto XD Karamihan sa gusto ko ay libro at bagong damit kasi wala na akong ma-suot dahil karamihan ay luma. Ayoko naman na sabihin sa aking ina na bigyan ako ng pera dahil alam ko marami rin siyang bayarin at pinag-gagastusan niya ang aking mga batang kapatid. Sadyang mahirap lang ang buhay. Ewan ko ba! Gusto ko ng libro T__T Tae, ang laki ng patong ng presyo ng libro nang magtaas ng presyo ang Powerbooks at mukhang ang Fully Booked ay isang lugar kung saan ako'y talagang mamumulubi. Kailangan ko pa ng bagong sintas ng sneakers ko at hindi ko alam kung saan makakahanap ng makukulay na mga sintas na may design! Kailangan ko rin ng pera kung ako ay mag-cocommute dahil mahal ang gasolina at maski gugustuhin ko na ihatid ako ng aking mga magulang gamit ng aming kotse, mukhang mahirap din at dahil magkokolehiyo na ako, kailangan kong matuto mag-commute.
LIBROOO~ Ayoko na lang umasa sa isang tao upang matugunan ang aking pangangailangan na ito. Nakakahiya. At hindi ko rin alam kung panu ko babayaraan ang kabaitang niya T__T
Naisip ko rin na sumubok pumunta sa mga tiyangge. Hindi ko pa nasubukan bumili ng damit at maghanap ng magaganda dahil hindi ko alam kung saan matatagpuan ang mga iyon. Batang Megamall na ako at naisip ko na sobrang nagsasawa na rin ako sa damit doon at malimit akong makakita ng gusto ko doon pwera na lang sa pantalon. Ay, naisip ko rin na kailangan kong bumili ng bagong pantalon. 3 pares lang na pantalon ang meron ako at 2 pang capri na maong ngunit mas importante sa akin ang pantalon kasi wala akong mahanap na matinong skirt na gusto ko (at kung may matagpuan man ako, ito nagkakahalaga ng mga 300+ at matatagpuan yun sa may Glorietta pa, isang lugar na malimit naming puntahan)
Anu ba yan. Kailangan ko talaga ng pera para sa sarili ko. Leche, naubos na pala ang tinta ng unipen ko at calligraphy pen... AHHHHH... Bibili na naman ako.
Mga problemang pinansyal ang problema ko ngayon. Ngunit anong trabaho ang tatanggap sa akin???? Sabi nila ay mag benta daw ako ng aking mga drawings eh mukhang sa tingin ko, hindi ako karapatdapat mag benta ng igunhit ko kasi, wah, hindi sila maganda. Naalala ko nung may nang-alok sa akin upang maging illustrator sa isang anime-style na magazine dito sa Pilipinas para sa mga babae at ito'y tinangihan ko kasi ako'y abala sa aking aralin sa eskwela. Hmmm.... Ginastos ko na kasi yung pera ko para sa bagong album ng Sandwich para sa eskwela. At nauubos ang aking ipon sa pag bili ng net card >_< Grabe, namumulubi ako ngayon.
Huwa. Bigla kong na-miss sina Toma Ikuta. Hehehe. Naisip ko siya bigla nung ako'y tumitingin ng pics sa computer ko at grbe, may pic pla ako niya na naka-save. Hehe. Benta talaga, nalungkot na lang ako nung nakita ko siya. Ang tagal ko kasing hiniling na ibalik siya sa Shounen Club para naman matuwa ako kasi siya yung nag-iisang lalaki na nagustuhan ko sa Shokura. Wah, iniyakan ko rin siya nang malaman ko "graduate" na sila ng Shokura. Ang alam ko ay mag-fofocus siya sa teatro (magaling!) Hanga ako sa kanya kasi may talento talaga siya sa pag-arte at pag-kanta at wafu pa siya (ang aking kabaklaannnnn at ang pagno-nosebleed) ! Idol na idol ko siya. Naisip ko rin kung natanggap niya yung fan letter ko (at yung kay Jimmy Mackey) rin. Ginawa ko yun nung 2nd year ako at sobrang naghalughog ako sa forums at websites na updated kung saan ka makakapadala ng fan letter pra sa Johnny's Entertainment. Nung nakuha ko, sumulat ako agad. Yung kay Jimmy ay English at yung kay Toma ay maigsi na Hapon. Ewan ko na lang. Hindi naman bumalik sa akin yung sulat so ibig sabihin tama yung address ko :) Yun lang talaga...
Urkkkkkk.... Ewan ko ba sa buhay >_< Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Ang dami kong tao na mamimiss...
March 02 2006 @ 8:58 pm
Music: Patlang by Cambio
Koi for the day: STFN
Oh Mr. Painting Elective teacher, you are sheer evilness. There, now isn’t that obvious? I will not ask for forgiveness regarding this. Hell, why would I? I will not ask forgiveness on THAT matter but I will apologize on the fact of my forgetfulness. But, still, it is the forces of nature that contributed to it. Ah, damn you plaster of Paris. I will never miss the way you solidified my P.E jogging pants as well as made my hands rough and full of blisters because of hand allergies. Never will I plaster cast (unless needed) again and this is something I will FULLY LET GO.
The final exams marked the end of my high school academic life.
Sadness. I did not see, I did not see and therefore, I am missing you. What am I to do with you now, dear?
Why let us suffer gruelling hours of that and this and then tell us that there’s still time tomorrow? Ah, evilness for pressuring us and then ruining the said movie marathon that was supposed to happen at Stef’s house. And the 3 of us (me, Hani and Stef) were frustrated and grinding our teeth with annoyance because, ah, the schedule is ruined and the annoying Brokeback DVD won’t work. Oh, damn it all! Damn it! Ah, it hurts! I waited for this movie marathon with them and good movies and tssss…. The fucking DVD won’t work! The time was limited and ah… Frustrations!
I had this very weird dream. Ah, confessions and frustrations. It was a new kind of sadness, ever since the dream I had of Jiro and I could not see him, no matter how hard I try. But this was still sad.
Why is it so… Ah, annoying! But what made me smile was a big slice of Sabarro super pizza and a picture. Adorable but much more in flesh and blood :) I just want to sleep and regain the lost sleep during the past month. And surprisingly, my mother was asking me to read philosophy and humanities as an advance. She must’ve noticed my borderline-atheism because of my decline in fervent prayers. But that’s another story. Ah, I SIN.
But it’s good. It’s all good.
February 26 2006 @ 4:21 pm
Music: End of the World by TRAX
Koi for the day: Core of Soul's guitarist <3
Reading El Fili was no pain in the ass as I expected it to be. I was just scanning through each chapter and mostly read my Fil notebook and I'm proud to say I understood El Fili by Rizal. It is so much better than Noli Me Tangere and I was happy that the whiny Maria Clara died. She was nothing but a plot tool because without her, Ibarra would never have gone nuts. I'm planning to read Ibong Mandaragit during the weekends once grad practice finally comes but I'm busy with Gogol's " A Diary of a Madman" and currently engaged in random feminist literary works (might eventually come in handy for lierature term papers in the future) thus consuming my internet time (no book resources T_T poor me) other than YouTube and drawing. Shall I set up a DevArt or not???????
I'm such a nerd
Saturday:022506: CORE OF SOUL YOUR ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, their band is so cool. They're not exactly J-pop but they're an eccentric acoustic- electronica band with nostalgic and feel good songs and I approve of the vocalist beautiful English. She was so lovely and me and the rest were yelling "KIREI DESU NE! TOTTEMO DAISUKI DESU!" Haha XD It was so fun. Most of the people were there for Babrie, Kitchie and Hale but I was there for Core of Soul and Barbie. It was to show support for the Japanese music and to prove to them that Filipinos entertain J-music. I came in early and I was with Krinkle, Ate Alma and the rest of Laruku Phils. Fan Club and Jujiro music. I saw Kuya Shin again and gave lotsa hugs when I freaked at his blonde dyed hair and his super lovely velvet clothes! We were just eating outside the main audience area because we didn't want to be squished in there with all the people. And there was a random bonding time with random J-rock things to be busied about. I went to the J-music exhibit and OMFG! THERE WERE GLAY, LARUKU, HYDE, HIDE, MIYAVI, LA SADIES, DIR EN GREY and all sorts of JROCK posters!!!! Seriously, those were the last things you expect the Philippines will be showing! HAHA! It was so funny because I was spazzing and holding in my fan girl-ism when I was looking at the posters and there were random average Filipino guys and middle age men who were looking and I even heard one of the conservative Filipino guys mutter as he was looking at a poster of Dir en Grey (what did you expect? Heller, DeG reeks of Visual Kei darkness that the conservative Phils. would never understand) and he muttered: ANO BA ITO? Hahaha! Finally, it finally dawned to the people that jrock existed and never did they realize some things like jrock existed (HAHA, one of them was looking at a picture of La Sadies and it was YAOI-bondage with the long tongue and I looked at his reaction and it was like his face was saying: WTF is this?) HAHAHA Purely KODAK moment!
It was so funny because we have Pinoy lovers donning Japanese everything. I mean, we had EGL girls (I was able to recognize a certain familiar lolita who was there), the visual kei-ers, the anime people, the girls with Shinjiku inspired clothes and the Goths. VICTORIAN/ VISUAL KEI GOTH RULES!!! although I settled for a purple top and my favorite cross things <3 I love the enthusiam and it was funny because when Core of Soul came out, our table was the loudest! We were the ones "hoo-ing", saying SUGOI DESU NE, MOTTO MOTTO, clapping and all that usual fan girl scream when we saw them <3 We were so fan girl-y and I enjoyed doing that with the people I'm with because they were so game to do it! Haha! It's been so long since I had a sabado nights thing and I enjoyed it <3 <3 I FELL IN LOVE WITH CORE OF SOULS MUSIC (and the female vocalist as well as the cute guitarist) and hopefully, a CD will be available in TOWER records! PLEASE PLEASE LET US DO THIS MORE OFTEN AND SEND MORE J-MUSIC BANDS HERE!. In all fairness, the crowd was able to appreciate their music <3 I love core of soul~
I will go back and study math and hopefully, be inspired as I do this >_<()
Entry written: 022406 We have no classes. Oh JOY! I can study now for the exams! Haha. I'm going to study now because tomorrow I will be out perhaps the whole day. I might be going to the 2nd Arts and Music Festival at the Megatrade Hall at Megamall. Hopefully, there will be more cons to attend to because I wasn't able to go at the past cons because of school. Anyway, perhaps it'll all be easy after this. I started reading El Fili once again days ago and now, back to the other things to study for Filipino and Math.
I went to school today because my mom asked me to make sure there are no classes. I was with Kat and we went to get review materials and books. And we stumbled upon Sir Bau whom we asked for pointers for Physics and Sir Melo, who was about to go home and talked to us for a short while. He was saying that's nice we're studying and said "hala, it's your last day of classes" and hearing that made me sort of sad and ...
I will go tomorrow Shang because I will watch the Core of Soul for Jpop music and to support Japan-Phil ties because if ever SONY philippines will see the people who'll attend the mini concert and the exhibit, perhaps other Japanese bands might be encouraged to go here like L'Arc~en~ciel, GLAY, Orange Range, Hikaru Utada, High and Mighty Color and the likes. I want to see the Jpop and Jrock CDs displayed!!!!!! I will study for the exams on Monday now and tomorrow morning so I can be free by 6 pm onwards! Yeah!!!! And to make it clear, the Philippines is a developing country with BUILDINGS AND MALLS and the cities are URBANIZED! If ever you want to go here, you'd find nice buildings in Makati and Manila in general! It's just that I think some foreigners' perspective of us is that we don't have much buildings let alone cars and all that crap. Just to put it in simpler terms, we have the best of both worlds: urban happy cities and provinces, like if you're looking for farm lands and mountians and tropical things.
February 21 2006 @ 9:10 pm
Music: Adreinne by The Calling
Koi for the day: Jiro
I’m trying to understand and study our thesis >_< This is so hard and frustrating but I’m not THAT nervous. I feel like it’s just one of those reporting and hopefully I won’t screw up and embarrass myself in front of the class as well as my teachers. That would suck. Anyway, the defence is the LAST major thing we are going to do inside the classroom so good luck to self. I was feeling depressed a while ago because I think STFN is annoyed at me. I really do. And the bigger picture is that we’re going to graduate and I feel crappy about it because I love my friends and as much as it is weird to admit but the school has become my comfort zone. I will miss our frustrated faces and illogical-ness and hentainess in the corridors as well as our cramming exploits and such. I will my friends very much. High school is the happiest for me especially senior year. Tensai/ JP-called me and he sort off cheered me up because he asked how I was and said words of encouragement. He even volunteered to take me to UST when we have the time off and he’ll teach me how to commute. He congratulated me that I passed the PT for UST. Haha. Fine Arts according to him getting hectic and all. Well…
JIRO! Thanks for making me feel better <3 LOVE YOU@
I was crying when I saw several GLAY PVs and hell Jiro I love you so much. Seeing him just takes me depression away (which is weird because he is one of the reasons also why I’m depressed). I was like spazzing when I saw the videos especially Mermaid and Special Thanks. It was so cute and sad… GLAY has come this far as well as my beloved Jhiness. I saw several vids but just visit my Livejournal for my other comments on thos videos and excessive fan girlism. SEASON'S CALL AND SCREAM IS SO COOL~ (the PVs I mean) I finally was able to watch Obscure PV yesterday by Diru and I was left disturbed. But that's Diru for you and I love them for that.
Thank God for you my dear <3
STFN: please I’m sorry if I’ve become tactless. I can’t contain my … erk… feelings anymore! XD Wah, I’ll miss you!
February 20 2006 @ 7:30 pm
Music: That's When I love You by Asyln
Koi for the day: STFN
I had a talk with my mom regarding education.
I was ranting to her stuff because I was pissed off because of rushing me to college and all that crap. I told her I am losing hope in the country and how indifferent I am because I feel nothing for the people of the country. My annoyance heightened when the fucking traffic when going up St. Paul was so long and it eats up gasoline and all that shit. It pissed me off and I no longer feel sympathy for the people who lost their loved ones in the ULTRA stampede because I am annoyed by the fact that they won’t let it rest and end up blaming everyone when they’d rather look at themselves first. We are the ones to blame for that unfortunate incident like in the Leyte thingy. It wouldn’t have happened if the people paid more attention to the environment as well as the government instead on focusing on dethroning our current president. What’s more why won’t they just open up the whole ULTRA road and I understand it still has a case so it wouldn’t be opened but why don’t they just get it over with instead of focusing on the Pasig government’s movements and the media ends up bitching it to the whole national TV that Pasig is like this and blah and fuck and crap. Just focus on one thing for now because once you’re finished with that, you can dissect the rest of the juicy stories. And yes I think that people deserve to die when they become really evil and nasty that it kills.
What else?
I’d just love to hate St. Paul and at the same time I’d hate to love it. I can't wait to flame them.
Me: Vous sont comment monsieur ? Je ne vous ai pas vu un peu
STFN: Je suis beau juste un peu... euh.. Accentué
Me: Je vois. S'il vous plaît ne pas vous faire pression sur. Vous n'obtenez pas devez dormir et vous regardez le temps aussi.
STFN: Oh, je suis désolé. Je suis juste un petit fatigué.
Me: Oh, non ! S'il vous plaît ne pas demander pardon !
Me: Comment êtes-vous maintenant ? J'ai ne vous voit pas pour assez longtemps.
STFN: Oui, je vais.. Euh... quelque part..
Me: Je vois. Ah, vous paraissez si fatigué ! Sur quel est été aller ?
STFN: Je vais à l'hôpital. J'essaie de visiter ma mère.
L'hésitation est évidente mais je me sens si heureux malgré sentant qu'indigne peut entendre vous partage de quelque chose personnel. Oh, je vous aime. S'il vous plaît sourire.
February 16 2006 @ 9:30 pm
Music: New World by LArc~en~ciel
Koi for the day: Kaoru
I didn't take in my supplement today. It was awkward and embrassing. I shall not bother him no more.
And an advance happy birthday to milord Kaoru as well <3 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH~ I CANT BELIEVE UR 3O YEARS OLD!
February 15 2006 @ 7:55 pm
Music: Dareka No Negai Kanau Koro by Hikaru Utada
Koi for the day: STFN T__T
Depression hits me more often than not. I feel bad for myself and for STFN. I AM SO SELFISH! I am so selfish because I was only thinking of my own enjoyment and my own happiness and I didn't even consider the much bigger picture, the much bigger situation the other is facing. That's sad. I feel like crap because I am always pressuring, making STFN feel that the person has an obligation to me (well, it is a promise we made) but crap, it's sad.
STFN apologizes to me whenever Herr STFN breaks it BUT I SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO SHOULD APOLOGIZE. I'm taking so much of your precious time when I don't deserve your attention. I just don't. I'm so inferior to you.
I can't approach you anymore at this rate. I can't even talk to you in the causal manner because I know you are not happy inside and heck, I think I can't even make you happy. Who am I to do that? Or rather, what am I to you? I'm just some random person to you I guess... Wah, this is depressing. I want to make Herr STFN feel better but I can't. No. I don't want Herr STFN to feel sad or even look sad or even try to be happy when Herr STFn is tired. Nooo...
What can i do? For now, prayers? Aw. I haven't even repaid such kindess.
February 14 2006 @ 7:25 pm
Music: Dareka No Negai Kanau Koro by Hikaru Utada
Koi for the day: STFN
Happy Valentines Day! To all of the people I love so much (the Hapeh People) and to everyone who reads this, I wish you well! Especially the lovers out there --> I am a demented soul today, one of those people with complicated relationships with… uh… people.
Today I had a talk with apo and Kazeki. It was a random heart-to-heart talk (haha) because it was Valentines Day and we talked mainly about depressions in life and then we we’re talking about crying and all that depressing stuff and how we cope with it. And then apo tells me: Apo: This is the one thing I will miss about Ate Riza
Me: Weh? Ano yun?
Apo: Conversations with her. Because when you talk to her, she listens and nalalabas mo yung lahat
Me: I’m touched… (feels depression)
Apo: Ate Riza! Iiyak ako sa graduation niyo! I will cry sa chapel so hanapin mo lang ako sa last day
Me: No apo! (wah, I don’t want to graduate yet)
I have this big anxiety about graduation and I feel that high school is too short. I will miss all of the people.
Speaking of the people, I wasn’t able to give the chocolate to the person <3 It’s sad. It was weird because I was able to talk to the person a while ago and I even forgot to greet the person ‘Happy Valentines Day!’ I’m so rude and I was actually hesitating because it may seem awkward for a person of my position greeting the other who is a… Uh… Yeah, that’s it. I wanted to make it up because I’m bothered. Wah, I haven’t repaid such kindness and I don’t deserve it T___T I felt sad during the morning but hey, I was able to see. Promises are meant to be broken for a good reason. You can come back to the person and see the person each time the person forgets what he has promised. I feel terrible; I’m giving another load for the person to think about when the person is in so much stress. Forgive me, it’s okay if you say you’re annoyed at me because I think that I am annoying you but of course I will get hurt and… Wah. My friend even said me and the person are so sweet because we are like concerned for each other. No, no! It's just that there is high regard of respect that exists (perhaps it is only in my part but it is true and I don't mind)
I had a piece of Hershey’s Kisses and I was planning to give it to the person but no, I didn’t see the person again. It just melted. Ugh, it’s our last Valentines together --> Drama but seriously, I felt sad. I have regrets when I graduate and one of them is this. Haha, I even said this aloud a while ago:
Me: Where forth art thou person and I will give you all the Kisses you deserve
Friend: Uh, you’re reciting HAMLET to this person
Me: I read HAMLET but wait! That sounded wrong, I was referring to the kisses Hershey’s! But I’ll gladly give one to the person if Fate would have it (laughs)
Friend: Our chain of weird logic today!
Me: Agree, agree. Wah, I love our illogical talks…
Weirdness. And there were a bunch of kids who performed today and really now, it was amusingly-violent. It was the first time I was a teenage boy dance the SPAGHETTI so well. I was laughing at my seat and then, I just stared at it in shock unable to say anything else. See no EVIL~
Happy Valentines Day to you Jhiness and STFN (I’m sorry about THAT. I feel so unworthy of your attention) and to all of the people here!
February 11 2006 @ 5:01 pm
Music: Pare Ko by Eheads
Koi for the day: ...
I'M HURT I'M SHOCKED I'M HURT. JHINESS! WHY? HOW????? JROCK FAN GIRL DEPRESSION
I wasn't aware that my JHINESS' real wife REIKO is OLDER THAN HIM! Crap, I was so shocked... Damn, I am hurt! OMG, seriously, I was shocked. This is dejavu actually *grin* but OMG, what is it with me and having obsessive love for older men with ... *sob* Jhiness. JIRO supposedly has a bad temper and isn't pleasant to be around all the time... --> Random Jiro trivia but I still belive that he's not all that nasty. Wah, Jhiness is delirium-love <3
I could still remember the random Jiro trivia about him in a New York guitar shop, and the American customers were looking at him funny because they were wondering why a guy so young was in a guitar shop (they thought he was like, 14). Then he started playing and really impressed everyone! See? That's how YOUNG my dear delirio looked. And even know he still looks young like 20 something. Wah. But I'm so proud of GLAY because of these fatcs about them:
-GLAY held the largest concert in Japanese history: GLAY Expo '99 Live in Mukahari with 200,000 attendees.
-GLAY is in he Guiness Book of World Records for most albums sold in Japan alone for Review (album) with 4.5 million sold.
Gackt Trivias:
-Gackt has 40 different kinds of nutritions for breakfast and drinks a lot of volvic. WOW. My dear otoosan is scuh as... NUTRITIONIST?
-In an interview, someone asked Gackt how he felt about homosexuallity. He went on about his girlfriends and how there were not only emotional feelings, but a sexual connection. THEN he said that with his *boyfriends* (O_O) that there was never anything very sexual because they're both males, and there is only really strong feelings. THEN he said at the end, "And if anyone thinks I'm bi after reading this interview, go ahead." Wow. LOLNESS... Otoosan! Wapak!
-In the same interview, he was asked which part of his body he washed first when he take a bath/shower. He said, "I don't know, I have someone do it for me." LONESS O________o Hahahaha BENTA ITO~
This chica named Angie is a model, but she's not that cute. BUT she has dated JIRO, HISASHI, Sugizo, Toshiya, and is currently dating Aiji! --> LUCKY GIRL! I SWEAR, Crap, dated my Jhiness *sniff*
Laruku Trivias:
- Out of telephones and letters, Ken prefers sex (ufufufu evil little Kennie. wahahaha) This one I laready know but heck, this one I didn't: Ken says he *bathes* in Jack Daniels
- In a special video about the members of Larku, Ken's section is just of him having sex with some girl. WTF? Seriously man is this true????????? *grins*
- L'Arc~en~Ciel are the representatives for Canon hardware, so if you're ever in a Japanese electronic store, look for printers to be spitting out Larku pics. Aha! I'll ask my uncle to look for some! HEHEHEHEHE
It was a waste of time to go to school. Anyway, I finally upoaded the pics from my digicam! Aha! And I can see them well because I have a new monitor. Oh joy! <3 Here's some pictures from Okaasan's Debut~
That's Louanne, Elmo, Abish (Rui) and My~
(from left to right): Tish, Abish (Rui), Elmo, Ama-kaichou, me (hehe), Louanne, Nikka and Kyla. Whee~ Happy people with peace signs. Hehehe
Back to randomness and scrapbook making
February 10 2006 @ 11:01 pm
Music: Scream by GLAY "Koi for the day: ...
I was having a bad night last night because of constant nagging, self-righteous people everywhere, annoying people, school work and such. I was really depressed last night because of the college anxiety as well as school work mainly. It came into my mind that school work promotes depression, self-depreciation, laziness and hypocrisy. There are the good kinds of school work and the bad kind of school work. You know the kind that emphasizes the point to promote this and blah, blah and blah. People try so hard to make it sound right when it’s not. It’s not good for the living consciousness and most often that not, we are deprived of freedom of Individualism. It’s like brainwashing. And certain people just contributed to this ire I feel. It’s crap, I swear.
And what are you trying to prove? Trying to pry off my relationship with STFN and dare deprive me of my right then? Oh, you’ll die someday and perhaps have you thrown in the bottomless pit of evilness. I know I’m evil and perhaps even assuming but it’s obvious. Why are you even depriving me of my supplement to my stressful life at school? I’m trying to be as happy as I can.
And this morning I was pissed, still depressed. And the people who were very nice about everything just amazed me and just talking about life and taking a breather, I felt much better already. It was Physics time at that time and Sir BAU was happy and fidgety and hyper and smiling as usual while I listened and took down notes and laughed along with my seatmates and JUJU the pink balloon sir gave us. And sir Bau was acting weirder than usual like when I went to the faculty to look for Sir Melo and sir bau was like… Hyper-delirium induced. But nevertheless, school was fun today despite my lack of sleep. Thanks for that. I love conversations with my friends in the classrooms as we share our musings… Hopefully by the end of the school year or soon I can speak French even the phrases only and I’m still practicing my Japanese so good luck.
I’m scared of our Filipino teacher. I think she’s really a violent woman in her age after learning she’s a huge fan of bloody action kung-fu movies, I got even more scared. I’m paranoid and made me think that hell, she might even know moves. She’s got a sharp tongue that will surely pierce your ears and flesh in a few moments once you ‘pester’ her. I am failing Filipino because of this sudden culture shock with her and my own incompetence. I’m failing English as well. This sucks as well as funny because I am reading other books other than focusing solely on the required book. But hell, I don’t mind.
I'm currently listening to GLAY's "Scream" with EXILE. And WTF? Swear, WTF? The song is very nice and actually this is a refreshing sound for GLAY. I haven't listened to this for a long while (lost in random CDs I have) and now that it’s finally here, I realized how weird it seems to me. Rock band X RnB band? The most unlikely pair especially GLAY because they’re sort off extremes in their way of music compositions with heavy electric guitar riffs and wild beats is something that is not matching with EXILE’s sound. But it’s amazing how they created a very nice combination. I miss GLAY and their old songs. I miss them a lot and I’m not seeing them anymore and its crap because they’re like a pillar of my sanity in terms of music. And what was I listening the whole while when I'm depressed Dir En Grey so yeah, it made me more "sane". RAISON DETRE and MACABRE ish Diru's love-hate-blood songs <3<3
I miss my dear ‘husband’. I haven’t seen him for a while… Perhaps somewhere there playing his guitar or taking his artsy photographs again. JIRO where forth art thou?
LOLITA is the New-Age LOVE. I asked my older sister in the States to buy me a DVD of Lolita the 1997 version. I think she’d find it weird because it R-rated but who cares? Perhaps I’ll give a review about it in comparison with the book.
I passed Physical Theraphy in UST and all I need is to attend the interview but I failed Nursing there. I passed Nursing in UE but still I'm undecided and I'm still applying for Trinity College. UPCAT results, I've already accepted the fact I won't pass in UP Manila because it's Nursing. In Diliman, I have doubts but my courses are the ones I really like: Comparative Literature and Art Studies. Good luck to self~
February 9 2006 @ 10:51 pm
Music: TRICK by L'Arc~en~ciel
"Koi for the day: <3 STFN
You're (an) incapacity
Dameet. I swear damn all of you hyprocrites and self-righteous people. WTF? What are you trying to prove anyway? That reading runs in your veins more than mine? Ugh. It was so weird and awkward at the same time >_< What point are you exactly making anyway and don't you even DARE TOUCH STFN's things I swaer. I hate you dameet. I'm currently making the features for our yearbook and I'm depressed and I threw a fit a while ago. Takte, I'm so dead because I'm still here at the internet cafe.
See, we have a new CPU but our old monitor gacve away. Crap it all.
And I'm stressed as it is.... Crap, I didn't see dear supplement today. I'm feeling more down. Crap and ** was wearing one of my favorite sets of shirts ** wears... Oh... Scrawniness/ leaness is LOVE <3
February 5 2006 @ 3:58 pm
Music: Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton
"Koi for the day: <3
Frustrations et aveux
Je manquerai l'amour de mentor et le voyant dans les couloirs sait surtout que nous sommes en vacances. bien que ce n'est pas en fait une vacances parce que nous avons tant de choses à faire. Il a oublié d'amener le livre que j'ai demandé emprunter et il était vraiment désolé de lui. Il a dit: sayang, wala kang mababasa sa vacation. L'amour de mentor était très désolé de lui mais j'a dit c'était juste beau parce qu'il était très occupé à cause de la semaine. Je le regardais le temps entier à la compétition. I can't helpt it! Elmo was already teasing me about it. I don't understand. There's just something existing that just captures my gaze everytime. I don't want that to happen.
Le bleu le convient bien et il paraît parfaitement beau. Je souhaite qu'il porterait ces forme à manches courte ajustant des chemises si je peux voir sa figure mince. Il paraît tout à fait beau comme ça. Les said black suits me and Le noir le convient aussi! Wohoo~
Je pleurerai pour cher mentor à la remise des diplômes, je jure je ferais. It's depressing to think that I will not be able emprunter le sien réserve again!!! I try to be humble enough not to think that I am not the only one. Mais no Il n'est pas devenu mon enseignant de retour alors et tout le monde dit qu'il très fait aimer vers moi et tout à fait généreux aussi. It was not me who initiated the transaction anyway, which was surprising. Je veux être plus que juste l'étudiant qui a mélangé avec le repos. Je suis hésitant pour l'approcher parce que je sais qu'il a beaucoup de choses dans cet esprit de génie du sien. C'est une des douleurs cet amour de mentor me donne. Je désire être avec lui et pourtant je pas parce que je ne veux pas être aussi comme près de lui.
Je pourrais le souhaiter seulement bien. Mais c'est difficile pour moi faire si parce que everytime que je souhaite, je deviens plus égoïste. I am already selfish, what more if...
I shall say no more. This is the farthest my crappy French knowledge (with the help from tons French books) could go.
Abisan's Debut: Butterflies Fun and Red Strapped Hotties Last night was Abisan's Debut!!!! I was depressed making my gift for Abisan because it made me think how our bonding times would be shorter and shorter now that graduation is nearing and I was eating bananas because bananas are anti-depressant food. The debut was fun especially when 11 pm came and there were only a few people left ^__^ Haha. I was with my friends the whole night dancing away (frusrated dancing actually. I'm trying to dance back there but still it was fun). And crap, I was like in love the whole night. Haha. There was this band that performed and crap, the guy there who sang backup vocals and had this white electric guitar and the red straps, he looked like (***) Val and I called him Red strapped guy. CRAP and it was embarassing because I don't want to look at him and when our gazes would meet it was awkward. Hell, he like saw me staring at him. He reminded me so much of (***) that made me have a crush on him. And when the band was playing, I was just there singing along and I was like looking at him and when he'd smile I just died and melt. He's so handsome~ He has this sleepy droppy eyes, a fine nose and a wonderful smile with a lovely set of teeth. Besides, he was slim~ Oh... WAH~ *nosebleed* And when he smile and he was like looking slighty at our way or something I just felt wah, I want to hug you. He was very adorable and ... crap, I suddenly missed sweet (=***=) I suddenly missed our bonding periods (heck, I'll even consider it a date) I remember how I tugged at his shirt when he would take me home *kilig* just being the gentleman that he is. I miss (=***=)'s smile. It was all I need XD I suddenly felt sad because we are suddenly distant because of too many complicated stuff. But of course I enjoyed the whole night!
Abisan, happy 18th birthday! You're so pretty! I love you~