i allowed my cousin will to interview me for this little bio section of my blog.
bad idea.
will:what is your name?
lauren:lauren.
w:what is your quest?
l:don't have one.
w:wrong answer.
l:it can't be wrong.
w:why not?
l:because this is MY profile. it's about me.
w:but, remember monty python?
l:yes... but this isn't monty python.
w:fine, you're no fun.
l:this was a stupid idea.
w:fuck you. back to the questions.
l:yeah.
w:sexual preferance?
l:what?
w:would you rather bang girls or boys?
l:that's a lame question.
w:no it's not. just answer.
l:i prefer boys.
w:me too.
l:silly gay boy. sneaking information about himself onto my profile.
w:pish. what sort of qualities do you look for in a man?
l:well, mrs. walters, i-
w:so first i'm not good enough, now i'm asking too many questions?
l:woah. it was just a joke.
w:fine. answer the question, bitch.
l:the quality question?
w:please.
l:uh... apperence or personality?
w:apperence, god love us shallow people.
l:i don't think i'm shallow.
w:that's what they all say.
l:(sigh) no use arguing with you.
w:correct.
l:anyways.
w:to phrase it better... what makes you SWOON.
l:long hair.
w:good answer, do you prefer japanese or chinese?
l:food?
w:no, men silly!
l:korean.
w:that wasn't a choice,
l:but that's what i choose.
w:i have to have some rule over you, as the interviewer i feel that it is my right to set up some sort of democracy. this is just total interviewing anarchy!
l:so?
w:fine. we're done.
l:that was really pointless.
w:oh well. some more about me. in question form! Email>lauren AIM>me again
currently: reading: Mac Beth- Shakespear, Siddhartha- Herman Hesse, and Lost Souls (again)- Poppy Z. Brite. hearing: Turn the Radio Off- Reel Big Fish, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band- The Beatles, Debut- Bjork, Vesperteine- Bjork Watching: Cecil B. Demented, I'm With Busey, and 200 Greatist Pop Culture Icons Drinking: pepsi eating: Cheetos feeling: impatiant :P wanting: breakfast foods wishing: That Lindsey would just shut up.
loving: Music> in case you care... TV>Friends, Will And Grace, Headbangers Ball, Scrambled Porn, i <3 the 80's Author>Poppy Z. Brite,Tolkien, Hemmingway, Anne Rice Manga>Planet Ladder, MARS, INVU, paradise kiss Anime>Metropolis, Excel Saga, Cowboy Bebop
01:50 p.m. Thursday, July 31, 2003
okay. why do i come off so creepy? i'm not trying to molest anyone or anything... i'm just... like this. i'm a bit... hyper? is that an understatement? i don't know. i need people skills.
yes... today the realization hit that i'm a creepy person. i can't help it and i'm not going to change. i'm cold.
i think my mom is back to hating me because i walked into the kitchen without any pants on while her work-friends were over and asked if she stole my pants. i found it rediculously funny. i guess you had to be there. i've been dancing around listening to prince all day. i think i'm going to go call katharine and katie. maybe they can stay the night?
tomorrow is friday, but it doesn't have the same appeal that it used to.
thank god for baby bach 04:28 p.m. Wednesday, July 30, 2003
i guess my mom realized that i was depressed and pulled the whole, 'ill always love you' talk-thingy. whatever. they closed on the lot today, reaffirming the fact that i'll be out of here by february. i understand it's one of those things that i'll just have to deal with, but i'm never going to be able to just leave katharine and katie behind. i'm DEFINATELY still going to athens and my mom has even promised to bring me back and forth for my friends. it's not the same, but i'll be out of there when i turn 16 and can drive. i'll move in with dad. anyways... i'm babysitting and cameron hasn't taken a giagantic smelly dump yet, so i'm cool. tomorrow i guess we're going to the mall so that i can pick out a book and a video to take on the trip with me... i think i'm also going to con my mom into buying me a dress. today i got about 60 dollars for my trip and i'll get some tonight for babysitting and tomorrow from my mom and dad. so, if i don't spend any, i'll be able to afford some new 'war-monger' boots.i saw some especially neat ones online with buckles and shit... so, yeah... i guess i can't complain. life is okay. i'm going to seriously attempt to get along with my little sister this week so she doesn't tell my mom anything else she knows... god, this is a pain in the ass.
me again 04:29 p.m. Tuesday, July 29, 2003
yes, yes... it's me again. i just confronted my mom about hating me. she said that she didn't 'quite hate me.' exactly like that. not quite yet. give it some time, i suppose. well. lindsey walked up to me today and told me all of my deepest secrets that she knows. i wonder who told her that? i hope you know how much trouble you've gotten me in. i kind of trusted you NOT TO TELL MY FUCKING LITTLE SISTER EVERY SECRET THAT I'VE EVER TOLD YOU. yeah, so now she knows that i smoked at one period in my life. now IS THE PERFECT TIME TO TELL HER. i've been clean for more than a year and you decide to tell her everything. i could not be more pissed. if you read this, don't even BOTHER calling me. i don't want your stupid gifts from new york. i am in NO mood to talk to you. i never expected my worst enemy to do something like that! then my old best friend does it? that is SO lame. i can't even begin to express my anger twards you at this very moment. you know who you are. nobody else IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would do something so half-assed. you are fucking lucky that i don't believe in revenge.
11:21 a.m. Tuesday, July 29, 2003
well. my mom has apparently decided that i am satan. i think i'm going to start sacrificing goats in the middle of the living room to give her something to tell her little friends from work. today looks like it's going to be a movie day. i don't know why, though because we have no new movies or movies i want to actually watch, for that matter. i'm attempting to be optimistic about the fact that i really hate my life, but that's really hard to do when you have no one to cry to and get it out. oh well. i can't wait for the week after vacation. that will be so much fun. it's an ENTIRE WEEK with my dad!!! meaning that i can be myself and not get yelled at FOR A WHOLE WEEK! wow, i really can't wait.the week of the 11th CALLLLLLLL ME at my dad's!!! 288-4839. i'm stealthful. the people that i want to know the area code will... it's kinda just common sense, eh? i'm going to go dance around the house naked. because i can.
it's art. i swear.
07:22 p.m. Monday, July 28, 2003
okay. i have come to the realization that i hate my mother. she is a bitch. i hate her. i hate her. i hate her. she has officially started doing everything in her power to make me miserable because i'm not a christian. she just started thinking it was wrong, or something. i have no idea what's going on and next week is going to be absolutely awful. we're going on a family vacation, family being mom, mark, and my stupid fucking little sister. i would SO much rather be sitting around with my dad for a week listening to him talk about how he would win the series for the tigers... eventhough i don't think that he's ever played in an actual baseball game, or rambling on about how i make him sound like an idiot when i say that he said his car took off once because that was my uncle terry's car... not his. to be frank, this is going to be one of those times when i'm reminded of how much i like my dad more than my mom. All i'm going to do is sit around and listen to sad music to 'heighten the mood' of manic depression. All my mom is going to do is sit around, get drunk, and tell me how horrible i've turned out. Anyways, my point is that i'm going to be completely and utterly miserable. i don't know what i'll do with myself, because those of you that know me are aware of the fact that i can't sit still. ever. oh, and to top it off, friday is my mom's wedding and i don't get a new dress. i may sound a little self-absorbed but i have nothing to look foreword to at this wedding. no new dress, no party afterwords, and worst of all, NO CAKE. yes, that's right, we don't get any wedding cake. i feel that i've gotten mother fucking jipped. i don't even like the fuckin guy that much and i get no compensation cake. this pisses me off. the more i talk about it, the madder i get.
you know what? i've just been bull shitting myself this whole time. i hate my life. i hate my family, except for my dad, and i want to go live with him. fuck unhappiness.
1] . <--- need i say more?
2] i can't pee standing up. i suppose i could... if i reeeeeally wanted to.
3] nobody takes me seriously
4] i'm fat and i can't use it to my advantage by joining the football team
5] i can't grow my hair out and be pretty and hot and have all the girls after me, only to find out senior year that i'm into guys. (katie and i's secret fantasy ((don't ask)))
6] i have to shave.
7] i have to wear a shirt. i could go topless somewhere but i would probably get raped...
8] people look at me wierd when i browse the men's underware section.
9] most of the hot guys are gay.
10] boobs are annoying and pointless since i'm not having babies at the moment, and i plan on adopting they are totally all for show.
shit fuck damn hell 02:02 p.m. Saturday, July 26, 2003
friday was soooooooooooooooo BORING. well, jamfest was atleast. he was not in attendence, making my presence completely meaningless to anyone, including myself. justin also did not show, the little irish fucker. bastards... the only thing that made the night good was the fact that phil is fucking awesome. i say we all date him. oooh! hey! event on the eighth! we have no lives! we could attend! EVERYONE! inquire within...
doop doop doop 02:10 p.m. Friday, July 25, 2003
toooonight... is the niiiiiiight.
wheeeen 2 become 1.
yes it is... i think. i'm not sure, really... the exact meaning of that song. oh well. mark is coming [hoorah!]. and hopefully a few other people will show up! that would really rock. even if no one else shows up, we'll manage and have shitloads of fun all by our lonesome selves!! i'm off!
this song actually does describe my situation. i can't wait for tomorrow!
hey, katie. i think i have you beaten clique-wise! >.o
i've got a devil's haircut in my mind. 03:48 p.m. Wednesday, July 23, 2003
yeah... that's a beck song, but it almost describes my situation. not really. i actually like my hair. thumbs up to katharine's mom! i'll now give you the 'low-down'.
1. last night was pedacure night.
2. we also talked about 'carpet eaters'.
3. katie is a 'queer magnet'.
4. mesh shirts and army pants attract the ladies.
5. that was not ment to be offensive.
6. it was, wasn't it?
7. oh well.
8. my eyebrows are much thinner. from this experence i have learned that beauty knows no pain.
9. my hair is an odd shade of deep brown and violet sorbet mixed. it actually turned out nice. i know i dyed my hair again. i know it's all gunna fall out. leave me alone.
10. THE CHINA BUFFET KICKS CRAZY CHINESE ASS!
o.o meh.
i do enjoy the occasional 'carribian rap'. 02:37 p.m. Tuesday, July 22, 2003
sean paul fans represent!!
no? no sean paul fans IN DUH HOUSE!?
yeah... he's doing his own thing, and [kill me if you must but,] i think it sounds good. better than regular rap, at least. oh well. to each his (or her) own.
katie has her crazy metal funky cant understand music.
agniya has her grunge and jrock
megan likes emo. eee. and though i may not like most of it, i support her emo-ism.
katharine, on the other hand, what does katharine not like? she's eclectic! hoorah!
horray for separating my friends into musical catigories!
12:02 p.m. Monday, July 21, 2003
katharine slept over last night... damn you and your life, katie!! *shakes fist* uhh... anyways... wednesday i'm gunna babysit my nextdoor neighbor's kid to make some money for this weekend. after jamfest katharine and katie are coming to my dad's for the weekend. i have NO idea of what we're going to do. maybe we'll go to sommerset or something. we never go to the rich mall. uhh... i wonder why. so, anyways... lastnight we watched jeff corwin and uhh... something about crazy wierd animals that scare people and such. the number one scary thingy was stomach worms. i think that they do that on purpose because now i am afraid of them. i never even knew they existed prior to this! ignorence is truly bliss. no matter what they say.
4 days until friday.
03:56 p.m. Sunday, July 20, 2003
i've been gone a little while. why, you ask? well. to sum it up, my little sister decided to load AOL 8.0 and found it necisarry to delete our internet connection (how? i have no idea). i finnally called dell this morning and re-installed it, but not before completely flipping out at my littl sister because, not only did she do this, but she threatened to tell my mother that i do pot because apparently some little 7th graders told her i did. i ended up forcing katie on the phone with her to tell her that i don't do that kind of thing... anyways... friday was nice (eventhough a certain someone didn't show up). hung out with katharine ,katie, tommy, megan and channing. apparently justin is being dumb. that basically sums up most boys. we'll be there next week though... saturday was my family reunion up at some big lake. i didn't really bother to find out which one because i can get very confused over little things like that... but it was large. oh, and thanks for updating megan!! you had better keep at it! please?
anyways... i'm gunna go call katharine and katie.
08:05 p.m. Thursday, July 17, 2003
okay. if this is not the snazziest fucking thing you've EVER seen, then you are one incredably fucked up person. many thanks to katie (amarth) (refer to the upper left hand corner to behold the greatness that is her). dentist's appointment went very well, no cavities (and i got a wind-y thing... it's the shit whatever it's called). i have a surprise for everyone tomorrow. i hope it's well liked... >.>
<.<
anyways... tomorrow is friday. katharine's house at two. jamfest at eight.
tomorrow is the big day. tonight i have a dentist appointment (i hope i don't have any caveties) and then (call me a loser but,) the rest of the night will be spent digging through my closet finding appropriate clothing and bugging my mom for three dollars to attend jamfest... i know she'll give it to me, it's just a matter of getting it. that made no sense. maybe it did. i don't know... can't you tell i'm bored? wasting time. i can do whatever i want. talked to megan last night. interesting conversation. i suppose i just felt the need to share my pathetic life, via phone, to as many people as possible. tommy also called. he's home from massachusettes and he's beginning to price clothes in his store.
08:28 a.m. Thursday, July 17, 2003
...i've been completely oblivious to this before in my entries, but i rather enjoyed your... um... quaint little drawing, megan. i will love it forever. however, due to the pornographic nature of that picture, i was forced to remove it. now, v.5 education of the famale anatomy... just kidding... almost.
04:04 p.m. Wednesday, July 16, 2003
today was spiffy. it was spent at the mall with katie, katharine, and tommy. i bought some royally sweet teal fishnets for friday... i'm thinking that i'm beginning to futher appreciate classic punk... especially the pistols and the clash. i already loved the ramones, but i absolutely adore them now... and to make things even better... katie's making me an uber-awesome layout involving the clash and my favorite colors... TEAL AND PINK!! hoorah! i ish so excited, and friday is only 2 days away!!
s l o w 11:10 a.m. Tuesday, July 15, 2003
it appears that my life has decided to warp into slowmotion until friday. oh, even the vast expanses of the human language cannot begin to describe the extreme amounts of joy occuring in the deepest depths of my stomach. i'm in love. though, i'm not really sure why... i mean, besides the fact that his personality is absolutely to DIE for and his hair is the best i've ever touched, let alone seen. great googalie moogalies!! i'm so happy for us! katie and he mystery goateed man, katharine and the excellent-butted justin... and me and... *swoon* HIM. it's sad really, i'm almost like a fan girl...
nothing. there's nothing you can do. life is going to suck forever... you'll have the occasional moment when you get a boyfriend (hooray!) or find a 10 dollar bill (woo-hoo!). but, other than that, you just have to roll with it. and i swear, if one more person tells me that life 'sucks' i'm going to jump off of a fucking bridge.
wow, i dont know if i've ever wanted somebody like this... he... is... so... HOT. everyone knows i like guys with long hair, right? well, let me just say, guys with long hair that play an awesome guitar in an awesome band, have a great sense of humor, and are undeniably hot as well is a MAJOR plus. bwa ha ha ha... i have to find some way to talk to andrew (my cousin). i guess he knows him(?).
09:21 p.m. Saturday, July 12, 2003
well... this has been an absolutely excellent weekend. friday night was great. we went to jamfest (we, being katie katharine katie and i). it was so much fun... besides the fact that we were stalked FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME. i really can't stand that nolan kid. everywhere we went, he was looming. it really pissed me off because i introduce katharine to my friend justin and they really hit it off... so, naturally nolan was pissed because his efforts to rape her were all for naught.
this morning we woke up and went to royal oak. it was so much fun. i bought a 2 dollar dress from salvation army, red fishnets, a neat little Mr. T thingy, katharine and i's jesus shirt and i also got to show katharine and katie tommy's new store. i can't wait for it to open! on our way back to the parking lot we ran into jamie erin and kyle. they had owen with them so katharine and katie got to meet them all as well... umm... katharine's over again and we're just hanging out. we're gunna go outside and do pop pop thingies... umm... yeah...
01:25 p.m. Friday, July 11, 2003
well... to tell you the truth... i've been feeling guilty about something. um... i'll just get it out now i actually like the used. i know, i know. i gave mark shit for liking them... but that's only because he was dating kelly osbourne. i never really listened to them, but now that i have, i think they're actually quite good.
rest in peace, true converse. 08:31 p.m. Thursday, July 10, 2003 NEW YORK: Nike Inc, the world’s No. 1 athletic footwear company, has agreed to buy Converse Inc, maker of the legendary Chuck Taylor All Star sneaker, for about US$305mil.
The deal represents the end of a two-year rebuilding process at privately held Converse after its name and trademark were bought in a bankruptcy auction in 2001.
But the Converse brand – well known for its star logo – would not be replaced by the Nike swoosh, as it would operate as a wholly-owned subsidiary of Nike, a spokeswoman said. The Converse management team, including chief executive Jack Boys, had agreed to stay with the company, she added.
Nike said it would also assume working capital liabilities of Converse at the time of the deal’s consummation. – Reuters
le jours tristes 01:38 p.m. Thursday, July 10, 2003
well... i attempted 4 more times this morning to defeat seymour guado. i failed. it got to the point where i wanted to throw my ps2 out the window so i quit and began metal gear solid 2... only to find that i suck at it. i'm still on the first level and i've been playing for almost an hour. bleh. i found mark's old camera in the basement the other day and we're going to get it repaired before vacation so that i will actually have a real camera. hoorah! umm... tomorrow i'm going to my dad's house at 3:30 and then on saturday night i have to babysit. i'm thinking about going to royal oak on saturday (possibly? call me).
hip to be square 07:57 a.m. Thursday, July 10, 2003
yes, you are looking at the correct time. 7:57 in the morn. i'm not even tired... it wont hit me until tonight that i havent had sleep in 48 hours. it's okay. i'm a sissy.
yesterday my cousin kyle and i went up to our friend tommy's new store in royal oak. it's not officially open yet, but they sell vintage clothes. not only do they sell really awesome old band shirts, but they have chucks from the 70s and 80s!! i'm so excited for tommy. he's such a cool kid... anyways... it's already raining so my day will probably be spent attempting to beat seymour...
07:47 p.m. Tuesday, July 8, 2003 The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge! Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
pinnochio can go fuck himself 07:06 p.m. Tuesday, July 8, 2003
okay... i'm an official chitty chitty fan (many thanks to katharine) and i had a strange nightmare lastnight involving my great aunt germaine, little bow wow (yes, the rapper... why? i have no clue), and dick van dyke... hmm... i wonder what that means...
katharine slept over lastnight and, as previously mentioned, we watched chitty chitty bang bang. we also watched the robin williams live on broadway special. who loves kitty? we put together a 300 piece pinnochio puzzle in under 3 hours, only to find two pieces had gone missing (rendering it a 298 piece puzzle). this morning we awoke to my mother's nazi-like plans to make me stay home with lindsey for LITERALLY the entire summer. after much whining, she gave up and lindsey katharine and i began a monopoly game to end all monopoly games.
within three and a half hours, i managed to sell ALL of my houses and hotels back to the bank, morgage ALL of my property, and lose every last bit of my money to the allmighty monopoly queen, basil. --end--
i think somebody may have liked me at one point in my life... but i don't remember when, or why for that matter. i'm going to go cry somewhere. if i put on a sweater... I COULD BE EMO!!! however... i'm not very into emo... AND CONOR OBERST IS GOING OUT WITH WINNONA RIDER!!!! she will be the downfall of the emo society
fuck.
11:07 a.m. Sunday, July 6, 2003
well, fuck me! the weekend was actually good! i spent the entire time with my cousins tommy, jill, and william. we played wiffleball and got unbelievably hyper on friday, were tired and went shopping and swimming in the "ucky" lake saturday, and went to frankenmuth for chicken this morning on our way back. it was a nice break from everything... god, i need to clean up around here! broken links and bad font!! oh no!
01:12 p.m. Thursday, July 3, 2003
gaaaaah!!! i hate boys!!! i swear, the only ones i've found are cootie-infested dumb fucks. i'm going up north tomorrow with my family. saturday is vegas night at the club so the entire house will be ours, william dear!!
we can watch titanic!!
02:27 p.m. Wednesday, July 2, 2003
boys are turds. they always talk about how we're hard to understand. go to hell. when we're hard to understand, it's because we don't want you to understand. when you're hard to understand, it's because you're stupid and you have problems conveying your emotions.
i just wanna be friends.
but if you really want to, we'll makeout later.
archived 01:07 p.m. Wednesday, July 2, 2003
i just archived everything. i suppose i'll start doing this once a month so this doesn't get disgustingly long like it did last time.
