Saturday, June 22, 2002
There are so many events that happened in these last couple of days....that it'll probably take a long while to explain everything at once....I didn't have time to go on the computer...to even update my blog for about four days now...so plenty of things to say...

For the first thing....talking back to Wednesday... my grandmother and godfather....(I'm going to be mentioning him as godfather, becuase that's what I call him, even when he's not my godfather...neither is he, my mother's godfather/padrino, but his wife is my mother's godmother/madrina) ....came....! Yay...! Before they came however, at I went to school for the morning to get my yearbook along with having Senior breakfast. The whole process of getting the year book and the signing afterward was quite exciting...however, I was quite disapointed, in the content of the yearbook.... >_<

The theme of the year book at least was better then Mina's year... (Mina's a real life friend of mine, that graduated two years earlier then me. She and I went to the same high school.) .... fairy tales. Inspired I think by the musical, Into the Woods. Mina's yearbook theme was Carpe Diem...Latin for Seize the Day.... however the content of that yearbook seems to be better then mine, with better pcitures.... :< ....

My yearbook was filled up with meaningless pictures of the yearbook staff...and other worthless pages...like meaningless art works and stupid puzzles with the whole rhyme scheme being way too annoying. I also feel that there is a very clear picture of favortism here...! Obnoxious, snobbish people hogging for the spot light!

But off on that subject....on Thursday..! It was my graduation! The day began out okay....went on a last minute shopping trip for white shoes, used for graduation...however the day then slipped several notches below, as the time for going to graduation came closer.... I got a bit more agitated...in the event that I forgot to wear my graduation gown's green collar...(School color is green and white)...also my mom forgot to bring a camera along...

My mother, grandmother, sister, godfather and RLC was invited to go...so we were stuffed into RLC's car, where the mood was squashed and a little tense.

I wasn't in a cherry mood to really stop complaining when I got to Madison Square Garden in the city. I thought that I was running very late. As events like this go, the saying of the show must go on, comes very much into play here. The guest speaker who's an alumna from the class of 1982, was invited to speak at the graduation, couldn't make it, so my school principal spoke in place of her. My class gave him a standing ovation, which shows the fact that my principal is quite popular and the fact that I'm very clueless to that fact.

Despite the absense of a guest speaker, the ceramony went alright, wasn't as boring as Mina's graduation when I went two years earlier....no offense to Mina's graduation, but I would have loved to have given a choice on whether or not I'm going to be participating in my own graduation...and to my choice in guests to bring....however, my mom...blast that women threaten to do something horrible if I didn't go to my graduation. I also didn't want to invite my sister along, but nooooo...it was like talking to a f*^king wall here. It was expect that my sister to come along, there went the posibility that I could invite other people. Mom also stressed to not invite any of my own friends along! Shit! My sister didn't go to her own graduation, because she couldn't make it so, now I'm making up for it!!!

Earlier, when I was a freshman-sophomore in high school, I would have love to have gone to my graduation, but as the even drew near, I though it would have been better if I was given the choice to go somewhere special for dinner...that's a better choice and also because even as the ceramony had ended, I wasn't even given a damn choice for a place to eat! >_<

Had to placate to the tastes of my mom, grandmother and godfather...so I was taken from Manhatten back near my house to eat. As much that I respected my grandmother and family, that night was my night! As selfish as it might seem...I was very disapointed....

My family had also kept saying to me, that high school graduations was suppose to be a once in life time event. Now I couldnt't even care less...

Earlier in the year I was planning on going to this really posh restaurant to eat after graduation....however, it ends up that I had Chinese... People would say that's very a nice type of food, but it's so ordinary...I'm Chinese for Christsakes....every day I get eat some form of Chinese food or another....it's not even a special type of food for me....as my family went to this resturaunt I didn't even like...and had said so sooner....even Japanese would have been a better food for dinner...but no...Chinese food was the choice...shit...and a buffet no less...

Now that I've gotten myself worked up, I better change topics, before this rant turns into something that is getting me very upset...

The next day was a bit nicer... there was of course my last Regents that would depend on whether I could get the Regents Diploma or not. Now the exam was the Chinese Regents... was quite hard. So, it turns out as my Chinese teacher said, during the test, that this Regents was suppose to be given to Level 5 students when this test was suppose to be a Level 3 kind of exam.

Which also leads me to another rant that I've got, a lesser one... this exam I felt was so bias....because plenty of the people in the class are recent Chinese immigrants. They're ESL students and bilingual students and were placed in this Chinese learning class...where Chinese is a foreign language that people would learn, like Spanish or Italian. There was absolutely no challenge at all on the part of the exam given to these people, as nice as they are... I'm thinking shouldn't they be taken another language class...? More English?

I could blame the teacher, who didn't teach well to my liking. Every class with her, was as boring as when I had Jr High school Spanish. But, then again, I could complain about the education system that I had just left.....

Mostly all the reasons... I feel is the cause of this, is the only manner that we're human and damn it, it gives us the right to be as fakingly polite or obnoxious in the so called race for survival. Which in some form, my school has so many of these type of people that it's any wonder there would be so many wars and crime in this world. People I believe, hide behind masks that society forms, making assumptions that there would be many people to support them. When in actuallity it would depend upon the belief of that people with their ethics and personalities...

Before I go off into another tangent/rant on the inperfections and the lacking of the human race in general. One thing, I should say is that now I'm not really in a good mood and is looking for things to bitch about...very pessimistic isn't it? That, I am...very pessimistic and at times suicidical or depressed...hmm... should I be putting this up? Mother wouldn't like it if, she knows what I wrote...but who the shit gives a crap....this is my blog and I'm currently quite upset....

Everyone needs attention and there is not really someone I could talk to now, except like this...where I could try to blow off some steam and concentrate on forcing words out...when everything melts in the background and behind shadows.

After I took the exam, which the teacher ended up, cuing and giving answers to people. Also there was the obvious assistant that I had, when my classmate let me cheat off on her exam. I shouldn't be complaining about that, because my mother expects me to get the Regents diploma and I think it would be a better thing, if I had more of an opportunity to pass. I never obviously cheated in my life, but for the fact that reading and learning about this langauge when I'm this age...and with the methods taught by that teacher and the failures of my own self. I would say that it would be better...if they didn't have students taking that much exams. Didn't have the pressure being built on you by expectant parents and the crushing expectations of yours truly. But then again, I'm fooling myself...everyone looks to pass and take the easiest way out of everything, it's a society unspoken rule that everyone has some ambition and the desire to not sink down into the gutters of society.

Now getting back onto a lighter note of a summerization of yesterday...after I finish expressing my feelings of angst on the curretn topics above. I'm still not feeling satisfied with what I wrote, but then that's for another damn time, when I felt that bad or something....

I went to Kings Plaza with Mina, Aya and another friend who I would be calling Mortal for references. We were planning to go to the movie theater to see Scooby-Doo.... the only clear reason, I would go...is to see the previews of the second Harry Potter movie. We ended up not going to the movies, because I was quite press for time. I would also have wanted to go see Lilo & Stitch...but that'll be for another time...

Which leads me to wonder, whether or not, should I kill Slimy for not being home...? He did say that he would have wanted to come with us to go see Scooby-Doo, but he wasn't home when I called him... ::shrug:: .....whatever then...got to go ask him...if he wants to come with us to go see it on Tuesday then....

The day led on, as Aya, Mina and I went to 14th Street, where I brought a book. Then afterwards to Chinatown, where I got a name/word scroll as a parting gift for the Library....spend an even $20 bucks on it...something my mother would have screamed at me for...but it's my money. So, she could go and not complain....because it's money I earned and in my state of wanting to buy something for people/places that I would miss dearly, when I go off to college. :>

The only really sour note, of yesterday was that, for weeks I've been trying to invite Mina to come over to my house.

My computer is still without a Microsoft Office Suite, that would allow me to continue writing my fanfictions and update my webpage. So, yesterday when I finally get to invite Mina and Aya who I also invited to come along to my house. I discovered that I forgot my keys at home, and was in effect stuck outside of my home. Of course, it was sheer forgetfulness that would lead me to not remember my house keys, this is not the first time that I had left my keys at home and was stuck outside. So, at the moment of yesterday, I was once again stuck outside. Everyone else in my family was out for the day...

Mina and Dora kept me company until they left... an hour later... I then stayed outside waiting until my mom, grandmother and godfather came home, two and a half hours later. They went out for dinner...so they were late in coming home. I passed my time, playing cards with my neigbors.... the day then finished...as I went to bed this morning at 4:00....with now being the time of 2:54 on my computer...home alone and finishing up on writing this long and delayed blog entry. I'm not putting any quiz results on this entry...so wait until next entry...

Tuesday, June 18, 2002
Today was quite interesting....(sarcastic note)... went to school... got my cap & gown....as well as graduation tickets...

Then went to the library...where I worked for about four hours.... that's all for my day...went home... gone online... online.... chatting... feeling bored....and lazy...probably put up some quiz results later....