current mood:

Warm place II

Gently, my mind escapes into the relaxing
world of pleasure, a pleasure that'll take
my mind off the reality of my life,
my past life... life as I know it now.
And whatever may come, it slowly
disappears to somewhere in the back
of my mind. It will remain there,
until I wish to retrieve it.
Yes, I will stay here for a while,
for I need the break. A break from the
pressures of life, and everything
that lays in the palm of life's hands.
This mode is incredible. It's out of
this world. Too bad I must always leave it...
... but that's life.

Me loves this lyrics, it really makes sense for me right now. XD
Im a lil worried about this situation cause I've not been able to remember what happend to me few minuts before, and when I do i dont know what is real or a result of my daydream condition.
Im fine there. Its warm, confotable...me wants to stay there forever. But I cant cause I need to live my damn life, yeah I know. I've spent almost all day inside a place that doesnt exist, or at least in my mind does. But anyway Im fine like this...its not really healthy but excuse me Im tired of my frustrations, lets pretend Im happy. XD
Anyway, now I have a counter here. I was lil paranoid about how many people visit here. Its not like I want or not people to come. I just want to know how many are laughing their brains off at me. XDD

Tuesday, April 2, 2002
12:54 a.m.

Nah! XD

Nazh...Im not fake...I've learn to deal with some situations and igore it when it doesnt worth. XD

take the "what's my fault" quiz.
(and then browse around mewing.net. because laura is cool.)

Monday, April 1, 2002
08:57 p.m.

AAHH~!!warmmmm *.*

take the non-offensive quiz.
and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

Monday, April 1, 2002
08:57 p.m.

Geez..!! O.o

take the cher test.
and go to mewing.net. because laura isn't cher.

Monday, April 1, 2002
08:57 p.m.

Ok...aham...

take the nyu type quiz.
and then browse around mewing.net. because laura is cool.

Monday, April 1, 2002
08:57 p.m.

Warm place

See the light, listen to the angels..trombets. Yes!! It's the gates of heaven (or hell). Time has come!!!!!! Time has come for beautiful and bitter things!!The end and the begining of paing and pleasure, a whole existense of luxury (all kinds).Taste it, lick it, EAT it!!! It's all yours!!! Touch , feel, live it!! Dont loose your time cause every second is precious!
But you must remember it's a dream. Enjoy it the most you can, cause you know when you wake up will be still living your stupid empty life!

Monday, April 1, 2002
01:52 a.m.

I dunno what's the test logic, but anyway...

Test Results

You think of yourself as being warm, hellish, beautiful, and exciting.

Others think of you as being fat, lethargic, 'so-cute-that-makes-me-want-to-kick-you', and stupid.

Your relationships can be described as infinite, intense, dreamlike, and drowning.

When stressed, you feel fadding.

Take this test here.

Sunday, March 31, 2002
03:31 p.m.

Nostalgia...

I've just arrive home. Nice night, spent the whole evening talking and having nostalgic reminds. We talked a lot about our childhood and stuff. Good memories, they will never come back but Im sure Ill never forget about it. Had lots of friend when was little, and the only one I still talk to is Lya, actually she is my best friend even living in another city really far from here we're still so close, 10 year we're together. You say me to not worrie about you but I do. I really care about you and I dont want anything bad to happen to you (yey 'the day I tried to live' is playing at mtv XD...good memories...I want it back...IM GOING TO CRY!!!). I hope you know Im here to help you (even being far), to listen to you, to kick some asses for you , to ANYTHING to need to! I really hope you know it!
Going to sleep a lil..even not being sleepy at all,but anyway I have classes tomorrow, yeah I dont give a fuck about it, but I dont have where to sleep there. -.-

Sunday, March 31, 2002
04:51 a.m.

Boring...

I slepd for 15 hours again. felt gooooooood! Woke and helped my mom with some 'water'she haad to bring to church this evening. There are going to bless this water or something like that.
Have a party to go this evening it's gonna be nicwe even me not ling that kind of music they'll play there...but anyway it's better than stay here.
Im worreid with this situation Im in, I dont know if I can be back on track anymore. As the days are passing Im getting even more distant, need to chage it quickly!!!! Or my life will become a real nightmare.
Have a friend with problems...I dont know how too help or even if this friend want me to help, but anyway I'll find a way to help things get fixed up!

Saturday, March 30, 2002
07:33 p.m.

Serius trouble XD

The last time I did this test the results wew more equilibrated, I got some 'moderete'a nd low...but now I think Im need a psychiatrist. XDDD

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

Disorder | Rating Paranoid: Very High Schizoid: High Schizotypal: Very High Antisocial: High Borderline: Very High Histrionic: High Narcissistic: Very High Avoidant: Very High Dependent: Very High Obsessive-Compulsive: High URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

Saturday, March 30, 2002
06:49 p.m.

The wonderfull art of hidding a felling.

I stayed the whole day in a stupid mood. I bounced, kicked, had some violent fits ( yeah I broke a glass, some things in my bathroon and problaby 3 footfingers -.-).
At the same time I was 'life is beautifull and fun so lets sing and dance'..I was like 'WTH I did yesterday and I hate me for this cause it reminds me how much stupid I've been in my whole life'. I swear it isnt cool. yeah its better than...ah anyway but it's fake, it's reality scape, and even knowing I didnt any bad thing I still feel guity and ashamed, I cant help it. So Im pretending nothing happend. I mean not just yesterday but during my life. Again Im hidding my feelings but its better like this. When you admit it you need to deal with consequences that dont pay this exposion.
The worse part admiting something is admit it to yourself. Im sure Ill never be able to do this. As I said before denial is my lifestyle.

Saturday, March 30, 2002
01:38 a.m.

Childhood...me wants i baaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which Rainbow Brite kid are you? By Growing.

Saturday, March 30, 2002
12:37 a.m.

Sadie...

If I were a I would be: SADIE

take the Living Dead Dolls Test

Saturday, March 30, 2002
12:37 a.m.

Need to repair -.-

Sorry, sorry, SORRY! I dont really remember what happend last night but I know it wasnt big thing, or something to make ashamed for he rest of my life....but anyway I knoe I said so many bullshit and stuff. Now Im so fucking guilty but I will survvive...Im so sorry, I know I should shut up but I could control myself. *sigh*
Feel much better now, me loves posting here....me loves(still supersowwy)!!!!!!!! -.-

Friday, March 29, 2002
02:25 p.m.

...dumb again...

I kept a good mood during the whole day, what really makes me feel unconfortlable,, yeah I know it doesnt make sence but every time I forget my problems and stuff I feel so dumb, like Im futile and braindead.
Ok...Im still feeling guilty, I have no idea why but I am, but Im not woried anymore about things that have been bugging me. It's not like I dont care nymore about it, it's just that I know it is a damn problem but I realised I cant fix it now...so let's wait a lil more till I have another fit. -.-
Another thing is making me even more guity, I cant do what i used to and made me feel like I had the will power and stuff, whhy is so easy to lost good things and so hard to get them back? I was supposed to be strong, Im seeing what is wrong and even like this I dont do a thing to change it. I have to try it harder or Ill be like this forever, and I dont want it at all. I hate being a failture, I hate loosing control, I NEED to change this situation!!!
I said that shinehappy mood wouldnt take long. XD

Thursday, March 28, 2002
02:25 a.m.

Actually I preffer red :P

Wednesday, March 27, 2002
11:44 p.m.

Weeee *.*

This month I've been in a infinite cicle: denial *colapses* guilt *colapses* then denial again guilt again and blah blah blah. But in the middle of this I have this short periods of 'happyhappyjoyjoy'. This night I had one of this periods.
Me loves memories (good ones) I wish I could life inside of them forever!!!!! But I know I cant so lets enjoy it, this single moment I dont feel guilty for have had some fun. I know it will pass soon (actually its almost gone) but this feeling, this sensation in my stomach as I was living everytinhg again feels reaaaallly good, I'm trying to keep it the most I can! Me and Lya was 'complaing' about this cicle and 'things' that reminds us of something good and make us feel fiiiiiiine. Ahhh...me loves memories *.*
Anyway, Ortega made me this cute doll(under the page's pic), so that's me in his vision(what did he mean putting a whip in my hand? *lol*). Thanks Tega :** I loved it! XD

Wednesday, March 27, 2002
02:08 a.m.

Pain -.-

Me feels bad. Really really really bad. -.- My head hurts like hell, I have cramps and it's like I cant control my body, Im feeling weak...dizzy. I spent the whole day sleeping. When I woke up my mom made me eat...then I thow up and almost colapsed at the bathrrom. She thinks I got dengue, hope not. -.-
My father is in Sampa so I had to come by bus from school. I was like a living-dead walking back. Tomorrow Im going to skip school. Im too sick to go and even if I wasnt I wouldnt go cos I'd have to go by bus and I really hate it.
Anyway, now I have enough money to buy a new headphone and some other things I need. Then I'll save the rest of it. Gave money to Lua buy me a Sepultura's concert ticket. It's in another city, my father isn't very happy with this fact but he didnt complain about me going, even if he did I would go anyway cos Im never at home at Saturday's nights so he would not even notice I went. XD I'm going to see Derek( I dunno if his name is written like this) but anyway me likes him a lot and he have dreads.. me loves dreads *.*
*sigh* Me needs to take some more medicines cos I threw up what I took before. Fuck! -.-

Tuesday, March 26, 2002
08:38 p.m.

Razor..cool word -.-

take the death quiz.
and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

Tuesday, March 26, 2002
12:09 a.m.

Yeah...so sad -.-

Havent post much. I finally fixed my blog, ortega helped me Tks!!! you are my hero!!! *lol*
My b-day party eas cool. Ate way too much won some cut gifts and almost everyone i invited came!!! Was really nice! Havent much to say...I think it wasnt impportant, and to be honest I cant remember what happend just some flashs, I dont know why but anyway I've not beem remiding much anything. -.-
Till today some people are calling me to. Ana's mother called me ths afternoon, gods it was weird!!! She said she did it cause she know Ana want it and she likes me alot (yeah she still talk of her as she was alive). It's really hard to bilieve she died, I brokedown went I turned off the phone!I really miss her but what makes me even more sad is to think how her mother is feeling, she will never be the same 'she's taking medicines she cries alot. I need to go there and visit her. She said Ana wrotte a lot about me, she had writenn every day since she was a child, her mother lives just to read what she left, and she feels her throug us. It's so bizzare it wasnt soppouse to happen . Im sure we are not going to be able to understand this ever!

Monday, March 25, 2002
09:18 p.m.

TEEEEEEEEESSSSSSST

TEST TEST TEST TEST

Sunday, March 24, 2002
05:15 p.m.

OLLLLDoldoldoldoldoldoldoldold BITCH!

WEEE it's my b-day...Im 18 now...OLLLD BITCH! But it's not likwe im worried anout it..Im relaxed (weirsd it was soppoused me to be paranoid right now). Me haaaates getting old, but i think i didint realises i've changed my age. XD
Anyway Lya was the first one saying me 'happy b-day' then I ssaw bromo singiing to me in a new metal version. *lol*
He went here and stayed till mignight ...how cute! Well..he slept almost all the time but I'll forgive him this time. XD
Im totally neutral...not that happy happy joy joy..not sad life sucks I wanna die...auhauhau me is sleepy so Im gona ignore what Im writing and it's better stop right here before It get worse. (no inglish isnt my first lenguage if you are stupid enough and didnt realiised XD).

Friday, March 22, 2002
01:20 p.m.

BURNNNNN!

So as always I was day dream at school. That was good enough to make anable to here anything or anyone around me. And I think I got some problems becouse of it L. thinks Im in love with someone and after the damn fit I had she's sure. And I kown who is the one he thinks Im in love with and she said she is suspicius abut it since long time ago...she didnt told me with all the words his name and soon she changed the talk but it is obvius. Gods Im not in love with him or anyone Im too selfish to some like this even tho there's another people i would fell in love first. He is my friend and me loves him in a total fraternal way. If Im having this hard times and had that fits it's problaby cause my PMT. But the point is... I know she will tell him I love him and blah blah blah cause one of her biggest frustrations is never had had sex with him. But anyway if she fuck with me I'll damn fuck with her...she is pissing me off...im damn tired of her and I dont have another choice. >.<
It's almost my b-day...last minutis of my minority XD

Friday, March 22, 2002
11:18 p.m.

Frustration = the word that most describes me (OHH!)

*sigh* I beed to fix the blog. Not even the pic is showen up, I asked my friend and he'll maybe help me cause i have no idea of how (yeah.. Im a dumbass). I looked at another host but I prefer this one.
Felt more confortable at school today, maybe cose it wasnt taht hot and I totally ignore all classes and kept doing some note i had to. Is kind lil could here, grey sky, humid, lil rain. I wish it was like this forever. Me hates summer and I live in a damn country that is hotter than hell even on winter. >.< Back to blog stuff, that is one of my biggest frustrations. I just cant lear how work with html stuff(neither any pc's) even studing hard. I dont know.. maybe the part of my brain in which is kept info about how to work with html dont exist. -.-
Note Need to kick my father's ass I HATE when he do this. >.<
Anyway me needs to stop being frustraded by everthing and find something I like in me. -.-

Thursday, March 21, 2002
11:58 p.m.

Old -.-

Stupid day....me hate taht school (nothing new), I was sooo fucking tired taht I slept the whole afternoon and woke up worse. -.-
My father agree with my b-day pseudo-party, we bought the things this evening. I so worried with that problems that Im not even noticing that Ill be 18 in 2 days, weiiiird ( geting older scares me to death), this age means so many things (yeah... now I can go to jail XD). I really thought it would have a stronger meaning for me. But all my plans for this age are right now frustrated so it became just nothing than a day to recieve phone calls, and win some gifts(yeah it's impportant for me and I will really get pissed off if you forget about my b-day).

Wednesday, March 20, 2002
11:26 p.m.

Damn -.-

Im tired...spent the whole day at the club. That was ool...I ate way too much and now my stomach than hurts, but it could be worse.
Weird, last night when I was going to bed (still lil drunk) I couldnt find my 'sorine' so I got desesperated and remember it felt (with some other things) from my purse in Bromo's car. So I startend freaking out! I Broke down on tears and Tried everything cos I wasnt able to breath at all. I cried so loud and histerically that I woke up my parents and soon they were in panic too. My father went to the drugstore and bought me another one. While he was there I kept crying even more hystericly.... I I cry only when Im so damn pissed off. I usully dont cry when Im sad for an exemple. I know that I dont bronke down onlyt cos I culdnt breath normally, sooooooo many thing has been bugging me latelly so it was like a relief for me. Im not sure I feel better about my problems but i really needed to cry, at least i slept like an angel and could breath prefectly. But Im still scared about the intensity of my 'colapse' I cant remeber the last time I cried that bad. I dont want that to happen to me again but maybe if it do happen my parents would realise that Im serious when I say I just cant hold this situation anymore. T damn hope I got a bad (but not fatal) disease so I would be hospitalized and dont have to go to school. It really would be great(the part I dont go to school). -.-
Anyway after 4 days of vacation tomorry I have classes, and of course I scared to death just to thing Ill be in taht place. I know that I will join a bad trip there and it wont be cool. -.-
Damn Gods make my parents understand that this situation ias killing me! -.-

Tuesday, March 19, 2002
08:27 p.m.

DRUNNNNNNNNNNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im complepletely drrrrunk! I dant have a fuccking idea of what Im saying I just know hat this is my first post Drunk. The only thing I know is taht Im totally stupi and damn FAT and almost kissed my 'cousing' but I dindint cuase Im fat and ugly ...I just cant understant how someone fat and fucking uglty like me can have friends or something likew that Im the most digusting person I now I dont deserve to live cos someone horrible like me must be in a dant circus . I m damn bizzarr Im I fucking hate myself and I dont have a ficking Idea why the hell Im saying this cos someone like me must be suted uo . I cant say anything that mnakes sence cos Im ridiculus, dfat fucking ugly and damn syupid I wish I was damn dead cos I make myself ashemed. Yeas life SUCKS I wanna dya :PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPppppppp AAAAAAHHHHHHHH >.<

Tuesday, March 19, 2002
03:33 a.m.

FUCK ! ><

Im so damn pissed off... Im fucking tired of my parents looking at me like they are. The staied the whokle day out and naum they arrived they are fucking looking ayt me aand judging me. WTF! only their presence in the hose even when Im not seeing them mnake me unconfortable. I want to stay in ma DAMN room and I dont want no one to ask why the heck Im mad. I ddont want questiions cos mine is enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The preoblem isnt with anyone its just with them!!!!! Not even my aunt that is always bugging me is not. Just trhem and my FUCKING paranoia cos I have no fucnking Idea why the hell I mad at them!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ><
I need to stay alone, I was 'happy' till they arrived. Why the heck didnt they stay in tahd DAMN club! ><
Im sick of not ne able to remenber what I did 5 minuts ago...im sick of not being able to foccus in anything...I want so them bad to be normal again!

Sunday, March 17, 2002
08:06 p.m.

AAAAAAH!!!!!

Me hates being home with nothing interesting to do and totalee aleep. Im DAMN bored. Me wants to hang out!! Me neeeeeds!!!!!!
it's driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<

Saturday, March 16, 2002
06:49 p.m.

Me wants to...dunno -.-

Feels bad being in that damn school, I've beem having bad times over there. Me likes and hates there. Its too hot there, with stupid people and I dont want and WONT study i all over again. This morning I wentt out the class, sat down on the corner and stayed there sleeping/thinking/having 'fits'/wanting to run away and scream. That place is startaing to suffocate me so much that I think Ill not be able to hold this situation anymore.
I was so fucking trashed when I arrived home but I still had to clean the kitchen up and so after that I could sleep. I slept for 5 hours and when I woke up Ana called me. We went to the moves but we arrived there earlie so we had lots of time to talk ( I hadnt seen her for about 1 month) but I think she didint understand a think . Nothing I said there made sence, I had no idea of what I was saing and I was to busy trying to get some answers. Thank gods I got it before the move started, so I payied atention and understood the whole thing. After I was a lil more sane so we could keep a healthy conversation and then I got a conclusion.
I can say that all my 'friends' (except one) cant undertand my views of beauty/esthetic/humor....It doesnt really bother me, actually Im proud of it but it kind makes frustrated. Sometimes Im laughing my brains off and people around look at me with that face of 'pu'(yeah.. then I laugh even more) , ok, this isnt a problem but its nice to share 'things'(hehe) with the others.

Note: Need to eat some bejinhus before my worms eat me. ._O

Saturday, March 16, 2002
02:24 a.m.

Me hates painfull thoughts -.-

Saw my psichologist this afternoon, it was really nice.Me really likes her, I do trust her...well she's the only psycho I like...I care about her and she seem to care about me, but of course its just about the money!
Anyway I realised that I only think straight while Im writtibng or reading beside it everything is confuse and make nonsence, Im not regonizing thruth from dream from reminds. today at school I almost had a fit when I woke up and realised that I was sleeping and not at the cofeebreak as I was dreaming with. I doht know when Im sleeping, when Im awake or when Im just thiking I cant foccus anything, I locked in my mind and it doesnt make any sence. and right now i dont have a fucking idea of what Im writting anymore o.O()
Ok I wrotte this morning so I know what it is about.. I think I know why the hell Im like this. Its cause Im feeling guilty about wanting to move there cause even being sure of what I want and and knowing my reaons isnt futile it seems it is!!! And I gave all motives to anyone think I want to move there just cause I want to have fun and stuff. Me moving there sounds stupid.....what i chose for my life sounds stuped and not genuine. And I know its cos I had fun there, now im doughting myself, now I know why my father doesnt believe me, I dont do fucking know why Im feeling like this cause I never cared about the others thought about the choices I make for my life. I cant explain it, I dont even understand it....im lost ...me needs to stop feeling guilty all the time...but I cant help everything is ok but afterwards it makes me feel disgusted and guilty and I dont know WTF Im saying again.-.-
I was so confused/disturbed/lost at school today taht Lua started being in panic thinking i was passing out or stuff.
Ok...I think Im afraid that my reasons to move there can be changed and I would start being a damn selfish fake bitch. Gods!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -.-?

Thursday, March 14, 2002
11:46 p.m.

Painfull thoughts arent cool -.-

Me feels bad. -.- Stayed home today cause I was way too tired, sick and still now I cant think straight. Its weird cause I cant go deep in any thought, many thoughts but none stay enough in my mind to make realise what the hell it is about, Im cant foccus anything it makes me feel even more sick. Or Im like this cause im sick. BLAH! ><
I guess its cos too much information in a really short time.....you no I was close to all I want for my life....but its like I was seeing it behing a glass so everything was distorted and even being close it was totally impossible to get.
This allergic reaction I had was probably not only cause the powder stuff....it was cause of this tons of information too....I didnt realise it at the moment but as always my alergies never show up without a psichologic reason. Me need to find a way to express myself before this kill me. -.-
I got some conclusions too...but Im not sure I want to post it here cause I would be admiting it to myself and self-denial is my lifestyle so Im gonna ignore, forget it whatever. I couldnt change it anyway. -.-

Wednesday, March 13, 2002
11:15 p.m.

._O

WHICH SERIAL KILLER ARE YOU? find out at: slitmyfuckingthroat.cjb.net

Wednesday, March 13, 2002
10:30 p.m.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH >.<

I fucking hate being sick...I cant think straight..i cant foccus...I just think about death and just can remember bad times when I was damn sick! WHAT THE FUCK? Why an simple stupid disease can smash my brain up.......why things that was suppoused to be nice become scary and makes me feel guilty???? Why being sick afect my life this much?? I just cant deal with deseases like a normal perason...I make it bigger than it is and I scare myself for nothing. AAHHHHHHHHHHH! ><

WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO HAVE THIS GODAMNED ALLERGIES?

Wednesday, March 13, 2002
01:43 a.m.

Weiiiiiiiiiiiiiird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *.*

Im home, arrived feel hour ago.....the weird thing is that it doesnt seem to be my house or its like Ive been in coma and wake up and everything that happend this weekend was a dream! I'm in a damn alergic period again...me feels bad -.- me feels like im going to die but Im not complaining at all..
I had a really nice weekend....there's a long time since I had so much fun....it was weird but damn cool... Oh! it was my first time!!! actually i had 3 firsts times this weekend...*lol*
Yeah.....I wasnt wrong about Lya but anyway, now I DO understend her and my point of view have changed alot *lol*!
Met some of friends Lya they were really nice with me, me skiped the routine....me will feel fine for a lonnnnnng time!
Went to Korn concert....it was, at first, the main thing but it end up just like a detail...ok me saw john and he wasnt the horrible but the show were really short and some little things bugged me but I liked it anyway...tks Lya it was one of my best birthday gifts ever (ready: + the whole weekend stuff)*smack*
Saw some interesting people there but they looked all iqual...just like they were made in serie. I have several black and blues my arm hurts a bit...and my head too....but I dont know if its cause the concert or my alergic stuff! I thougt I'd die there...weee!
there's a lot of thing I should post here but actually I dont need...I talked alot about it and it feels good so no need to post it .....but its 'perfect' and it scarys me cause is so surreal that makes me confuse....blah.....I think I got the fever...and right now Im feeling guilty about it but anyway it rox!!! *.*

Tuesday, March 12, 2002
10:13 p.m.

Nothing like the feel of something new....

I havent post in a while....hummm Im in Sampa we are goint tp Korn concert today....I have lots to most but it will be done when I arrive home tomorrow...weeeee runs out the routine is cool. *.*
I can say I had reaaaaally nice/weird weekend...' somethins havw chnaged....weee much better now...bla!! ill post more tomorrow....weeeeeeee *.*

Monday, March 11, 2002
03:09 p.m.

Paranoid......

Im tired, sleepy. -.- Im going to bed soon...me needs to sleep, me hasnt bem speeling well lately. -.-
Anyway Im going to sampa son Friday or Saturday, I dont know yet. Its gonna be nice, Im going to but them for 3 days. XD
Bed...NOW! -.-'

Tuesday, March 5, 2002
09:44 p.m.

Its my fave *.*

Tuesday, March 5, 2002
09:33 p.m.

Pu? O.o()

I taste of Death. Doesn't everyone want a taste of death? Well they should. Most people deserve death. Keep away from me unless you think you're better than that. I probably won't like you. What Flavour Are You?

Tuesday, March 5, 2002
09:17 p.m.

Unce upon a time there was a male underwear behind my refrigerator...

My stomach hurts. -.- That fucking popcorn fucked uo my stomach.
Anyway Lua, Bromo and Vía came here today.. I wathed a movei and talked alot. Bromo arrived first he came by bike and it was raing a LOT and he was completely dirty. he had to take a shower and wash his clothes... *LOL* I put his underwear behind the refrigerator so it would be dry till he leave. I lend him some clean clothes, yeah *lol* MY clothes! he had to throw his socks away cause it couldnt be use anymore. He got really pissed off...My dad left him home and he will come this week to get his bike!
There something that I really enjoy in my dad he give a ride to Bromo and Lua without complain...ok it was still rain and cold and Lua had to go walking but some of my friend parents wouldnt ever do this...he was tired..spent the whole day at the club and wanted to rest but even like this he did that without saying that it bugs or anything. Me proud, me really proud he's always making me cry but at the same time he does everything he can to make me happy and please me! Yeah..yeah its totally contraditory, conflictinh whatever me extremely loves and hates him.. somethings I do want to kill him and then I think he is most impportant person in my life.. GODS me confused. -.-

Sunday, March 3, 2002
10:46 p.m.

Meloveshermelovesher *.*

Which Rock Chick Are You?

Sunday, March 3, 2002
03:02 p.m.

I guess its cooler than mushroons.. ._O

Sunday, March 3, 2002
03:02 p.m.

Kinky me! hehe

Pretty normal day.... I still have the headache and my stomach still hurts....but it doesnt bother me anymore...I've learned to deal with this.better...Im ignoring this.
Anyway....I was reading some..ah..stuff...and got some conclusions...at leats they were 'good' ones...I mean for me. Weeee Im a perv but I like it!!! *lol*
I half of my kinky thougts come true I would be in SERIOUS trouble! ^^

Saturday, March 2, 2002
03:46 a.m.

Gods why the fuck it reminds me Rás?

Weeeee...Im trashed -.-....but Im not asleep I thik Ill not be able to sleep tonight cause I feel so much pain and my hole body hurts, but at least i dont got the headache anymore...but my stoach is burning like hell...and I got damn sick this morging....I felt like I was going to die during class....I almost colapsed cause of so much pain...Geez and this pain I feel is different from the one I had when I got an stomach ulceration....I dont know why the fuck it is happing...Im not stressed anymore...just a little worry and anxious but im always like this.
Its weird cause it seems like I cant control my body... like my hand will move itself.Or my blood runs in my skin instead of in my veins.
AAAAH! It FUCKING HURTS!!!!! Me needs some more medicines. -.-

Wednesday, February 27, 2002
10:45 p.m.

Gods why the fuck it reminds me of Rás?

Weeeee...Im trashed -.-....but Im not asleep I thik Ill not be able to sleep tonight cause I feel so much pain and my hole body hurts, but at least i dont got the headache anymore...but my stoach is burning like hell...and I got damn sick this morging....I felt like I was going to die during class....I almost colapsed cause of so much pain...Geez and this pain I feel is different from the one I had when I got an stomach ulceration....I dont know why the fuck it is happing...Im not stressed anymore...just a little worry and anxious but im always like this.
Its weird cause it seems like I cant control my body... like my hand will move itself.Or my blood runs in my skin instead of in my veins.
AAAAH! It FUCKING HURTS!!!!! Me needs some more medicines. -.-

Wednesday, February 27, 2002
10:45 p.m.

That's it!

What is your meaning of life?

Wednesday, February 27, 2002
10:08 p.m.

Am I?

Take the "How immature are you?" Test
created by sami

Wednesday, February 27, 2002
09:50 p.m.

Trent is the highest GOD *.*

What era of Trent Reznor are you? Take the What Trent Are You? quiz to find out! Quiz by !

Tuesday, February 26, 2002
10:23 p.m.

*psyaiai*

My head hurts like hell. *psyaiai*
I wasnt able to focus on school yeasterday and today niether. Its persistent....Im takind lots of medicines and even with this it persist. I wasnt able to eat both days either...I feel so damn sick and weak.
I dont know why its happenig...maybe because I cried alot on sunday and colapsed again...or maybe cause Im not sleeping at night ...I mean Im not sleeping at all...Im taking naps but not sleeping in fact. AH! I forgot I've beem feeling so damn cold....and its fucking summer...
I went to docs office yeasterday and he said that if my hair is falling it isnt because my anemia...its problably cause stress. They took 5 semples of blood. Now I have a HUGE black in my arm.
Anyway I got so pissed of on sunday cause my dad was unfair with me....and I was scared to death of my first day in that school, weee I think I cried for 6 hours...since that and since saturday when I ate like a damn piggy Im feeling worse than I was ( I almost died because of the head and stomach pains on saturday +.+)
Me needs to make my stomach pains stop...me needs food cause me is starting to colapse easily and my body pressure is lower than ever....blah.....Im going to say mom I NEED to see another damn doctor. -.-

Tuesday, February 26, 2002
10:23 p.m.

Too lazy to make a link -.-

Ok this was getting too long so I decided to archive. Sooo I dont have a fucking idea about how can I do a damn link and Im too lazy to learn here is de add to the older entries:

http://web.pitas.com/anguish/archive.html

So if you're so damn curious and want to laugh at my stupid life go there and have fun. -.-

Tuesday, February 26, 2002
09:43 p.m.